Victor (Vic) Strecher

Sometimes you run into a cashier and they're just they're grumpy and they're not looking at you.

And you may interpret that as the person being a mean person, not a good person, or it could well be that they just had an awful day.

or has a sick child in the hospital, or is going through a divorce, or just their husband or wife or spouse just lost their job.

There are many things that people are going through.

So making attributions about why a person is acting in a certain way, I think is not a good thing to do.

On the other hand, trying to extend yourself to another person

in a way that may improve.

I can't tell you how many people, if they are just looking kind of glaze-eyed or grumpy, I might ask how their day is going.

And very often they'll turn to me and say, well, here's how it's going.

And then you have a conversation and you leave much more, both of you leave much more satisfied.

First of all, the micro issue itself of being an empty nester.

So this happens very often when parents have devoted so much of their attention, their lives to their children, and suddenly their children are gone.

You can certainly help a person after they have left the home and support them.

through your own advice, through financial assistance, through many things, through encouragement, through being a sage that they turn to, a person that they turn to for advice.

All of those things are certainly helpful.

But also, it may well be a time for you to become a really great model for your children in how you actually live this next chapter of your life.

For example, maybe if there are other things they can get engaged in, it could be a hobby.

You can be very purposeful within a hobby.

You know, I know, for example, I work in a medical school, so I know a lot of physicians who in retirement or as they became empty nesters took up things like woodworking or painting or other hobbies.

And they became enamored with those and really got into it.