Victor (Vic) Strecher

But if we are intrinsically motivated to do them and study them about ourselves because we have this

big, hairy, audacious purpose in our lives, then we start improving those behaviors.

And we tend not to relapse as much.

You know, if you try to work out more or try to change your diet or try to quit smoking or so many other behaviors, and I'm in public health, this is what I do professionally for the last 40 years.

We know that the relapse rates, even after three to six months, can be 70 or 80 percent of people go back, rebound almost like a rubber band back to their

old behaviors.

But if they have the stronger intrinsic motivation to make a change, we don't see that relapse as much, not nearly as much.

first of all, I'm so sorry for this person's loss.

It is unbearable and it continues.

Gradually, it does get better.

And if you can survive this, you can be an example to others who go through difficult times.

That would be one of my messages.

Now, I think being a mother is

of a person who's lost a child is different than being a father.

In fact, nobody goes through the same journey.

No one is the same.

I went through my own journey by reading Seneca and reading Rumi and many, many other philosophers and poets and writers.

My wife went through a very different journey and she decided to start volunteering

in the children's hospital that was always taking care of Julia.

And she became a very active volunteer in the hospital.