Vogue

My best friend was there for all of it.

Late night, voice notes, crying in her car, ranting on walks, you know, the lot.

She knows exactly how hurt I was.

Last week, I accidentally found out that she's still in contact with my ex.

My best mate was on the loo and asked me to book an Uber for us on her phone.

And there was a message from my ex.

So I scrolled the conversation.

It wasn't just the odd chat.

They're messaging regularly and have met up for coffee and dinner a few times.

She calls them friend dates.

I feel blindsided.

I don't want to be controlling and I don't know.

And I don't own either of them, but it feels like a betrayal that she didn't tell me herself.

And I don't understand why she feels the need to keep in the contact after everything she put me through at the breakup.

She doesn't know I know, but I know I've been off with her and she's sensing it.

I don't really know if I'm being overly sensitive or if my feelings are actually valid.

That can be a difficult one because like just because you don't like your ex doesn't mean she likes her ex and she doesn't like your ex.

And it depends how close you two were before you and your ex got together.

And if you've all been friends before and you kind of can't force people not to be friends with somebody.

Do you know what I find?