Wendy K. Laidlaw

I think I've got that right.

I've tried to think delta as deep sleep and then theta as tired.

And then alpha is when you're coming awake and aware.

So our brains are phenomenal.

Everybody has said, scientists and all, that we literally couldn't replicate a computer

To to match what's going on in our head, we know if we're on in this program and they and.

And this alumni point and we're really trying to feel it, that is one of the biggest challenges, because up until this point, for how many decades.

we've told ourselves we can't we've we felt too much we don't want to feel anymore we've told ourselves we've beaten ourselves up and told ourselves like we just have to get over it we have to get past it it's just a case of willpower what we're looking to do is almost i would say sit at the roadside at this point of the journey we're not ever going to go back but sometimes we need to rest

at the side of the roadside and just take stock before we move on.

I remember a very pivotal point with me.

I remember sitting on the stairs, bottom step of the stairs in my home at that time.

thinking this is I can't stand it anymore I've just got to forget the past I've just got to get over it and and I made a decided effort to just shut it down just put this metal shutter down to it now for me that that was not not a very healthy way because what I did was I suppressed everything again and I just developed the the stronger parts which were the

the critic and the perfectionist and the poacher, they just became into overdrive.

And then of course I just beat myself up.

So it took me a long time.

For me, my body put me bed bound, as you know, and I was forced literally to deal with it because there was no amount of willpower was getting me out of bed.

There was no willpower that was enabling me to stand on my feet.

I had to literally crawl on all fours for a long time.

I was so, so physically ill and so sick.

And as I say, it's a bizarre concept to think it's what is going on deep down in our subconscious.