Wendy K. Laidlaw

but for us to access the subconscious in a really safe way, in a very slow safe way, because remember the patterns of behavior, the patterns of being and thoughts and belief have come up because we've had to learn how to adapt to our environment,

from the smallest age, it was literally survival, adapt or die type thing, dying of the spirit, killing off of the spirit.

And what you may still be feeling as we're moving through and why I'm staying in this feel it section longer than I thought I was going to do is because I think we need to give

that those elements and those parts respect for the fact that they just need time.

And like you notice little children, if you ever go and look at children in the playground or observe them with their parents, they don't like to be rushed.

And what we're doing again is part of

of the work that we're doing here is the recovery of the inner child.

And again, I was a bit sniffy about this.

I was a bit like, oh, I don't know.

It's a bit childish.

Pardon the pun.

I don't need to do this kind of work.

But I have to say, I find it very, very moving when I started to.

So I know your homework has been to to write with your non-dominant hand, with your eyes closed and do drawings and stuff.

And it's been amazing that the drawings that have come in and I thank you for being so vulnerable and showing them and it's very touching to see the tenderness and the vulnerability in these drawings and I hope that you can see how if we've got our perfectionist and our critic and our pusher parts who are super strong and super focused and super determined

they can pretty much bludgeon our little child parts to pieces even before they come up out of the shadows.

So this is why left brain or whether you want to call it an inner parent or whatever works for you, I'm going to put these names and phrases and things out and you can throw some of them out and you can take some in and you can make your own.

I think that's what I tried to do in my journey was just

what resonates with me in my heart, spirit and soul.

What is it that is going to allow me to develop compassion and acceptance enough so I can feel safe enough to look at what's going on in the past, at the same time, you know, survive in the world, move forward and become even more comfortable with who I am and also get well.