Wes Barker
Appearances
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
All right, hi. I am Wes. I'm a Canadian. I'm a professional magician. I hate children more than you think. Being a magician made me hate the kids. Kids don't suspend their disbelief. You know, like, if they see something, they say something. With magic, it's pretty bad. Like, if we did magic right now, you'd love it. You'd love it. And you guys, you would learn a lot.
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
It's magic show and then magic lessons kind of right about there, you know? But at least you would shut the fuck up, you know? Kids, they don't do that. Brutal, actually. I hate it. I'll give you an example. The red ball trick, for example. With a kid, I do this. I take the red ball.
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
vanish and then the kid would go it's in your other hand and they're right every time like it fucking sucks you know but adults we have like such a strong grip on reality so you know kids are smart in a stupid way but adults we expect the physics to go the way it goes every time you know like even uh like a prime example sir you're a grown-ass man same trick which hand didn't point to it i wasn't gonna risk it with you honestly both hands
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
I started wearing this recently and I thought it really suited me. Now I'm wondering if it does. It felt good. Thank you. I appreciate it.
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
Yeah, things are good. I kind of like about six months ago moved here, but like part-time because my wife lives in Toronto, so I'm back and forth all the time. And yeah, I probably signed up 35 times. And this is your first time getting picked? Yeah.
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
Yeah, I didn't even really do it. I mean, I was just sort of like a... I know you're being silly. I have a real trick right now.
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
Doesn't look much better than good magic. Tony, do you have any money on you? I know you always have money on you.
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
There it is. So Ari described himself on here. And you'd recognize this anywhere, right? Okay. You'd recognize this $100 bill anywhere. You've written on it and everything. So some magicians will fold $100 really small... and they'll turn into a dove. Yeah, I don't do that, but if you ever get a chance, it's pretty cool. You should check it out. I do more like that. It's gone.
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
Sam, check your left pocket. No, stop right now. No one's moving.
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
That's why I got this purse. This is like a little, you know, a little insurance policy. See if you can find something here that's worth $100. Okay. You're missing $100. I sure am. Whoa. Oh, my goodness. In case your husband wants to have sex with you later. Wow. I'm keeping that one. All right. Okay. And then...
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
A lemon. This is what we need. Can I have the knife back, please? Yes, please. Okay, so if you ever misplace your money, you got to check the fruit. Sometimes inside lemons.
KILL TONY
#698 - SAM TALLENT + ARI SHAFFIR
It would kind of annoy me because I have a visa right now and all my friends don't. But, you know, I mean, it'd be way nicer to work down here. It's a way better spot. It's the entertainment, you know.