Whitney Cummings

I'm on your girlfriend's side. Me too.

Dude, we left England for a reason. Your leaders are inbred. You have mascots that run your country. I'm not doing this. Mary may not have killed Kate Middleton. Probably killed Princess Diana. You know what I mean? Like, what are we doing? You're all like Paddington Bears.

Dude, we left England for a reason. Your leaders are inbred. You have mascots that run your country. I'm not doing this. Mary may not have killed Kate Middleton. Probably killed Princess Diana. You know what I mean? Like, what are we doing? You're all like Paddington Bears.

Dude, we left England for a reason. Your leaders are inbred. You have mascots that run your country. I'm not doing this. Mary may not have killed Kate Middleton. Probably killed Princess Diana. You know what I mean? Like, what are we doing? You're all like Paddington Bears.

When someone does that, they're like, my time's more important than yours. I know.

When someone does that, they're like, my time's more important than yours. I know.

When someone does that, they're like, my time's more important than yours. I know.

Or you're bad at time management. It's like, I got to catch a flight. It's like, no, we're all at the airport.

Or you're bad at time management. It's like, I got to catch a flight. It's like, no, we're all at the airport.

Or you're bad at time management. It's like, I got to catch a flight. It's like, no, we're all at the airport.

Yes, exactly. I left early. Like, we all had to do this.

Yes, exactly. I left early. Like, we all had to do this.

Yes, exactly. I left early. Like, we all had to do this.

But I also think this is a good thing. I think that comics start to suck when they stop doing the things everybody does.

But I also think this is a good thing. I think that comics start to suck when they stop doing the things everybody does.

But I also think this is a good thing. I think that comics start to suck when they stop doing the things everybody does.

The bins annoy me, though. There are some bins, too. And you take it and they go automatic. And sometimes the person behind you, their bin goes first. Are we not America?

The bins annoy me, though. There are some bins, too. And you take it and they go automatic. And sometimes the person behind you, their bin goes first. Are we not America?

The bins annoy me, though. There are some bins, too. And you take it and they go automatic. And sometimes the person behind you, their bin goes first. Are we not America?

Have you been on a plane yet where someone tries to answer a FaceTime?