Xander

Just saying, look, we're ready to go hot as soon as we get rid of this NFA.

You're a boomer in a young man's body.

I've got a blog.

It's called weirdworld.com.

And I also run a little podcast called the Asserted Calibers Podcast.

This podcast has been a production of the Firearms Radio Network.

For more, visit firearmsradio.net.

I don't understand, Professor Zonda Kaplan said while his girlfriend sobbed into a pillow. I thought you liked tulips. I do, she said. It's just, you get them for me every year. It's starting to get a little impersonal. I mean, this time you didn't even include a card. Xander winced. Her reasoning was sound. I apologize, he said. I obviously made an error in judgment.

I don't understand, Professor Zonda Kaplan said while his girlfriend sobbed into a pillow. I thought you liked tulips. I do, she said. It's just, you get them for me every year. It's starting to get a little impersonal. I mean, this time you didn't even include a card. Xander winced. Her reasoning was sound. I apologize, he said. I obviously made an error in judgment.

He tried to take her hand, but she pulled it out of reach. Do you remember what I did for your birthday, she said? I got you that new Bunsen burner you wanted. I knit you a pair of wool socks so your feet wouldn't get cold in the lab. You never make that kind of effort for me. All you do is think about yourself. That's incorrect, Xander said. What about emeraldium?

He tried to take her hand, but she pulled it out of reach. Do you remember what I did for your birthday, she said? I got you that new Bunsen burner you wanted. I knit you a pair of wool socks so your feet wouldn't get cold in the lab. You never make that kind of effort for me. All you do is think about yourself. That's incorrect, Xander said. What about emeraldium?

It took me nine months to synthesize that element, and I named it after you. You were going to synthesize that element anyway, Emily said. You needed it for your secret project, that silver orb thing in your lab. Emeladium wasn't about me, it was about you. I mean, for God's sake, you won't even tell me what it does. Xander sighed. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

It took me nine months to synthesize that element, and I named it after you. You were going to synthesize that element anyway, Emily said. You needed it for your secret project, that silver orb thing in your lab. Emeladium wasn't about me, it was about you. I mean, for God's sake, you won't even tell me what it does. Xander sighed. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Emily blinked back some tears. I don't know, I mean, it's not like you can just go back in time and get me a different present. Xander's expression brightened. Wait there, he said. I'll be right back. Xander hurried down the hall, crept into his laboratory and locked the door behind him. His time machine was right where he had left it.

Emily blinked back some tears. I don't know, I mean, it's not like you can just go back in time and get me a different present. Xander's expression brightened. Wait there, he said. I'll be right back. Xander hurried down the hall, crept into his laboratory and locked the door behind him. His time machine was right where he had left it.

He climbed inside the silver orb and flicked on the power switch. His plan was simple. Travel back in time to this morning. Find a new gift for Emily and bring it to the present. But there were a couple of risks. There was a chance, for example, that using the machine would cause the universe to explode. He'd never tested the thing out before.

He climbed inside the silver orb and flicked on the power switch. His plan was simple. Travel back in time to this morning. Find a new gift for Emily and bring it to the present. But there were a couple of risks. There was a chance, for example, that using the machine would cause the universe to explode. He'd never tested the thing out before.

There was also no guarantee that he would be able to find a good present. He only had enough emeraldium to fuel five minutes of time travel. That didn't give him a lot of wiggle room. Wherever he went, he would have to shop efficiently. Zander was usually a pretty good problem solver. He had, for example, invented a time machine.

There was also no guarantee that he would be able to find a good present. He only had enough emeraldium to fuel five minutes of time travel. That didn't give him a lot of wiggle room. Wherever he went, he would have to shop efficiently. Zander was usually a pretty good problem solver. He had, for example, invented a time machine.

But quantum physics and nuclear hydraulics were trivial compared to the rigours of gift shopping. He massaged his temples, trying to remember if Emily had dropped any hints lately. He vaguely recalled her staring at a vase in Crate and Barrel. But that place was full of vases. There was no way he'd be able to pick out the right one.