Chapter 1: What political ad bit are they planning for the show?
Oh, Dave?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you wind it up. No, it's definitely Dave, because let me tell you something.
What?
Did I not predict when we were show planning yesterday that I would get a text from Dave asking him to remind him who he was in charge of for a political ad bit we're doing later?
I said, and I actually... God forbid I cover my bases.
I actually said to you, I said, Dave, were you listening? Yeah. Okay. Who are you doing your political ad with? I wanted to make sure. And then at 6.30 p.m., Jenny, who am I doing my political ad with?
That's exactly what happened.
So, yeah, I want to punch Dave.
Do you want to borrow my spatula? You look at my face. This is a very punchable face. It is. I got one of those faces that just says, you know what? I need good punching. Yeah, your face would, like, accept my knuckles into it, honestly. It's tempting, isn't it? It's tempting. Let me wind it up.
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Chapter 2: What happened during the Grand Rapids hookup weekend?
Put him in a little suit? That'd be so cute. All right.
Can I go next?
Vaughn is going next. Who did he run against? Jenny. Vaughn's running against Jenny? Okay, here we go.
If you're looking for a dignified, friendly, independent, and reliable individual to take office, look anywhere else except at Jenny Lutenberger. To be honest, you probably can't even look at her because she's dropping a bomb in the bathroom right now. Ha ha!
Her skills, air quotes around skills, include guessing the weather while admitting she's not sure and just hopes, stealing unicycles from little kids and offering them double shots of fireball whenever they cry about it after. We want a leader in office who's not afraid to face the real issues.
How can we trust Jenny to do that when she avoids watching horror movies rated PG-13? Sure, Jenny has... What? I said that's scary. Jenny has great organizational skills, sure, but how will that help when people are suffering from the government shutdown and all she's organizing is her next cross-country van trip?
Do not vote for Jenny Lutenberger this election season. I'm Vontavious Carlique, and I approve this message.
Nice. That was good. Yeah, I forgot the tagline, I approve this message. That makes it official. Who's going next?
I can go next. Sure.
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Chapter 3: How does the political ad for Bailey J. Hess portray her?
I have you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are you ready? Oh, no. Here we go. All right.
The media has painted Dave Ryan to be wise, a go-getter, experienced. But we're here to set the record straight. A wise ass? Sure. A go-getter to the kitchen for another snack? Experienced? Well, we've all heard Dave's wheel of girlfriends. Sure. He's experienced. Yeah. Dave Ryan has made promises to make Benihana great again. But take a step back and think, hasn't it always been great?
He's trying to brainwash you into thinking one of the best chain restaurants to exist ever had a downfall. And where do you think your tax-paying money will go if Dave Ryan is the new mayor? To public schools? The park systems? Healthcare? Nope. According to the leaked emails we found, it's all going towards his magic tricks collection. Yeah.
Crooked Davey Ryan is not fit to be a leader unless you're looking for someone who brags about his 27-inch biceps but still looks like the Grinch. We need someone to take charge, and that is not Dave Ryan.
This ad is brought to you by the Jenny and the Morning Zoo Foundation. Thank you. Very nice. Okay. All right, Bailey, who are you running against? I'm running against Vont Lee. Okay, here we go. Your political ad. This election season, do you want your city to thrive? Then you need someone local, not an out-of-towner from New Jersey.
New Jersey is said to have the highest percentage of mouth breathers in the nation, the worst drivers, and filled with goobers with big dreams that are unearned, and a home to one Vontavious Carl Leak, the biggest goober, the worst driver, and mouth breather extraordinaire. If you want a mayor who interrupts you to say something asinine, Vont is your person.
If you want to get a word in, look elsewhere. Hold on to your butts, because this man's head is about to take you away like a hot air balloon. Stay ten tones down. Don't rank Vont Leak for mayor. In fact, let's put him into a new ranking system. Top five pain in my asses. All five spots, Vont Leak. I'm Bailey J. Hess, real middle name, and I approve this message. Wow. Went in on him.
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Chapter 4: What are the claims made against Jenny Lutenberger in her political ad?
She'd never met this guy that was not the guy that she had gone there to meet. She is. So we've got her. Is that her on the phone?
It is, but let's do the Sabrina Carpenter keyword here first. Oh, you're going to make me wait. I know. I'm sorry.
Okay, Sabrina Carpenter keyword, and then we will catch up to find out a little bit more of what's going on. Tears. That's tears on our iHeartRadio app. Okay, that is the key word, tears. Open up the iHeartRadio app and use, hold on.
Oh, gosh. Use that inhaler. Oh, breather.
That's what she used, that inhaler. Furball. Breather. And so, where was I? Use that talkback feature, talk about the key word, tears, and you're eligible. She's on the phone right now, and I think we gave her a fake name. We're going to call her Alicia. Hello, Alicia, not your real name. How are you feeling? You were a little tired yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you were.
Eight times, eight times, eight times, 48 hours, eight times. We all marveled at that yesterday. How were your legs? That sounds exhausting. Eight times.
It was great.
Well, yeah. Should we get right into it and ask her how that happened? Alicia, can you explain? Eight times over like 48 hours, like how does that work?
Yeah.
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Chapter 5: What humorous moments arise during the political ad discussions?
And then, so round three kind of turned into round four, if I'm remembering that correctly. Okay. Then we came up for air in the afternoon. We grabbed lunch, but then we spent the rest of the day back at his place. So there was some afternoon loving and an evening pound sash. What? Pound sash?
Did you say pound sash?
Pound sash. You know what? We got a little rabid that time.
I love the description. Girl, get it.
So what are we up to, number six now? And then we woke up. We woke up in the morning. There was another time there, so that's around 7. And then I was getting ready to go. I was kind of getting my car packed up. We said goodbye. And then we just squeezed in one more. One for the road. Jeez, boys. One more for the road.
Something to think about on your drive back from Grand Forks. Yeah.
Eight times. That's amazing. And some people text in, it's like, yeah, my girlfriend and I, the first night we met were eight times. I'm like, no, you did not. No, you did not. Nobody's capable. Nobody's capable of that. You'd just be so dehydrated.
So what's going on with this guy?
You in love with him? I mean, eight times.
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Chapter 6: What updates are there about the Grand Rapids hookup girl?
Okay. That'd be great. I wish I could fly. I wish I could fly. That'd be really cool. Well, that's not something that's actually attainable.
You're right.
It's right. It's right. Let's play some of these Talk Back Tuesday.
My name is Patricia. I'm from Apple Valley, and I wish I could knit and read all day long without adult responsibility.
I love that. Knit and what'd she say? Read? Read, yeah. Knit and read. I love that.
I wish I could win the lottery so I know what it feels like to live without worrying about anything.
Okay. I'd be worried. I'd be worried I'd get robbed. Right. I wish I could.
My name from Laconia, and I wish I could ride horses more. I like that one.
I like that one. Okay, here's one.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts feel about the teacher's dress code controversy?
I don't think that it's appropriate for school, but I am definitely outnumbered on this one. So I will shut my pie hole and let other people talk about it.
Have you still even looked at it though? I just did. Oh, okay. You think that that's like inappropriate? I feel like it's just a stylish pair.
I think to me, leather pants are sexy. That's just like if I wore in leather pants, you'd be like, well, Dave's trying to look sexy. You look like an idiot.
I'd be confused by you wearing leather pants. Like I this is not the picture I thought when we talked about it earlier. I think it is weird that she's wearing leather pants, but I don't think it's inappropriate. It's not revealing anything.
I think she looks very stylish.
I just like don't see it as sexy at all. I think if they were cotton pants, we wouldn't even be talking about it because just because they're leather, it's considered sexy. But if I mean, we had a lot of teachers earlier when we were talking about this, say like I wear leggings to school because the kids wear leggings to school and you can tear leggings from my cold, dead millennial hands.
I'm wearing leggings to school. I think the thing is leather, I think to certain, maybe it's my generation is seen as sexy. It's like, oh, like, oh, she's dressed in black leather. You wouldn't go, she's dressed in black polyester. But leather has a certain sexual quality to it. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm wrong.
the faux leather pants have been around for a while though at least with our generation bailey and i's because i think that like to us those are just like pants for me faux leather is so uncomfortable i do not want to wear that they do not fit well on me like that's not my vibe but i feel like she pulls it off in a fashionable way not a sexy way and that's not my point i just think it's weird to wear them to school because i just wouldn't be comfy not because this is sexual to me in any way
It looks more like fashion-y than it does like turning on. Isn't that what they say? Yeah.
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Chapter 8: What new shows and movies are being discussed towards the end?
Tell me the key word.
It's espresso.
Espresso is the key word. Yeah, we got excited about leather pants. So, key word, espresso. Use that to, say in the Talk Back feature, to win that amazing trip to Los Angeles to see Sabrina Carpenter. Espresso. Open up the iHeart app. Tap the red button. Say the key word is espresso. Boom. It's like you bought a raffle ticket and it was free.
It hurt me so I kept it to myself.
Now, the news that has Hollywood talking. Dave Sturt on KDWB. Taylor Swift has added another $2 million like annually to her security budget, which honestly doesn't seem like that much. She already spends about $8 million a year on security. And I was surprised at such a small figure considering...
All of the touring that she does and all of the public appearances and going to the Chiefs game and going to this game and that game, like $2 million. And you know what? Absolutely justified with the amount of people that are unstable and crazed and just a little bit too... whatever. It's just sad.
I heard years ago, like five years ago, that they have somebody follow her around with like bullet packing, which if she got a bullet wound in her, it's like a cotton, it's like a tampon that basically goes into a bullet wound. And it's just sad to think, I mean, you just like, you can't even imagine something like that.
You know, it's like Taylor Swift, you would think that it'd be wonderful to live her life. And in a lot of ways it is, but at the same time, man, you can't have any kind of normal life that way. Yeah. Can't go to Kohl's. Can't go to Chi-Chi's. You want to go to the new Chi-Chi's. You can't go to Chi-Chi's.
What? You can't go. That would absolutely suck. So I'm assuming Secret Service wear bulletproof vests. Would you say that they do?
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