Show notes
My heart just got all achey-breaky.
This next review is one that I’ve been hanging on to for some time. Listeners with excellent memories might recall that back in spring of 2022, when I submitted my first review to be read on the show, we figured out that my wife and I were at a show the previous week that Mark was also at. I’m kind of in awe at how much has changed since then. I started as a regular contributor, then I attended my first Vegas Vacation, then we all started hanging out together on the many trips I’ve taken to Vegas since, and then Keren got tired of reading my reviews on the show, and so now here we are recording together. So today, let’s talk about the first time Mark and I hung out in the same room, even though we didn’t know it at the time. Let’s talk about X-Country.
Okay, so let’s get this out of the way. I like women. If women choose to be naked in front of me, I like that, too. As I type these words out onto the screen, it occurs to me that I probably cannot review this show without coming across like a dirty old man. But in the words of Popeye the Sailor, “I yam what I yam.” So if you share or even merely tolerate my indulgences, then keep listening.
I'm rooting for your team, miss.
I’ve said before that for me, going to see shows in Vegas is more for my wife than me. However, since I’m the one who plans the trips, I’m often the one who chooses the shows. As a result we occasionally see a topless revue because I want to, damn it. My wife does not object to this. There’s some tradition here. Vegas is where we let our freak flags fly. Going back a few years to our first trip to Vegas as a couple, the first show we saw was “Fantasy” at the Luxor. (Note: It technically was “Brilliant!” at the Neon Museum earlier the same evening, but that kind of depends on how you define “show.”) So yeah, as a red-blooded straight male who loves Las Vegas, I’m kind of a connoisseur of these shows, or at least I’d love to be. Since then, we’ve seen Fantasy three times, X Burlesque, BurlesQ (you have to pronounce the letter “Q” in their name because who the fuck knows?), Rouge, and now X Country.
Some words here about the change, the nature of Vegas, and regret: Like Mark, I consider myself a Vegas history buff. I never got to see any of the classic “showgirl” type shows; Mrs. Jaydubs and I kind of discovered Vegas as a couple just a little too late and Jubilee, the last true showgirl style show, had already closed. Now Crazy Girls is gone (they say it will return with a new home, but that’s a song we’ve all heard before) along with X Rocks and Sexxy at Westgate. This has created a sense of urgency in me that has me treating topless shows like Pokemon: “Gotta See Em All!”
So if you’re still listening, and have never seen a topless show in Vegas and would like to, let me share more about the overall experience. First, just do it. I think most are reluctant to see a topless show because they’re worried about how they will be perceived. The audience is full of all kinds of people. Men, women, couples. Young people. Older people. There’s more women and more couples in the audience than one might think at first, and the women cheer louder. It’s a hell of a lot of fun. Fantasy at the Luxor is probably my favorite. It has the nicest venue, the largest number of performers, and the most advanced choreography (which isn’t really that advanced, but hey, boobs!) I think it’s the longest running topless revue currently playing. We’ve seen it three times, and you can expect a review for Fantasy soon.
If it seems like I’m providing a lot of context and haven’t yet really reviewed X Country, you’re absolutely right. Because how much can you say about a show whose entire premise is young women dancing in nothing but boots and g-strings? And that is basically what you get with X-Country. It’s a fun, sexy show that got the Mrs and I warmed up for the evening. It served its purpose. We laughed, we cried, we got turned on, and we all learned a little something about ourselves along the way.
Just in case you’re starting to think I’m incapable of actually providing a critical review of this show: There was a time that I thought there could be no such thing as a bad topless show, because hey boobs! Check out episode 409, “Jennifer Grey Nose Job” formy review of BurlesQ (Why the FUCK do you pronounce the “Q” in their stupid ass name?!) to find out why that’s not necessarily true.
The good: I have to admit, I’m not a fan of country music. I know the lyrics to “Friends in Low Places” and I know that the Chattahoochie is a river in the south and not a nickname for my ex, but that’s about as far as my interest and knowledge of the country music scene goes. So I was a little worried that this show would be country-trashy, in a straw-chewing, cousin-fucking kind of way, rather than just Vegas-trashy in a paying-to-see-tits kind of way. There are A LOT of different numbers in this show, and they quickly switch between the sub-genres of country songs to keep the energy going. (What’s that line from The Blues Brothers? “We got both kinds, we got country and western.”) I thought I might get bored after 80 minutes of country music, but the show managed to keep it fresh, and the boobs probably didn’t hurt either. Still not a country music fan, though. The good news is that you don’t have to be one to enjoy the show.
Something for everyone: tits and ass!
There are five different performers, with a good mix between solo numbers, duos, and ensemble bits. There was a variety of body-types between the performers, but zero variety in skin color, which I guess is consistent with the theme. My wife is a dancer, (no, not that kind of dancer) and she informed me that at least three of the girls demonstrated that they have had some formal dance training. There’s an aerialist number that uses a silk web; it was pretty impressive how much she could do in such a small venue.
Comedian John Bizarre provides some laughs between numbers. We were seated right by the stage on stage right, and there was an occasional moment of terror when he looked our way as he was scanning for audience members to interact with. Fortunately, he ended up picking on the four young guys opposite us who were legit farmers from Iowa. By the way, while our seats were close, I don’t recommend sitting to the side of the stage. There was a number in which I had a better view of the crew member holding up a set piece rather than the two girls writhing on the set piece. Seats were decently comfortable, and ours had a small table between them for drinks.
X-Country performs nightly at Harrah’s at 10:00, and is dark Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Tickets start at $60, and you should click through the vegas.com link on the website or the show notes to get your tickets.