Absolutely Not
Episodes
People talking, You’re walking!
21 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather chats about nesting at home in Atlanta. She is out at the home goods, eating mushrooms she finds at Home Goods, and wearing c...
We Will Overcome
14 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is on the “becoming Chinese” side of tik-tok, where she is being motivated to eat something warm in the morning and work ...
Third-Degree Titty
07 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes 2026 with a fresh calendar and a fresh injury— her burnt titty. She celebrates the highs of Ole Miss making ...
Clockin’ Back In
31 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is ringing in the New Year with her favorite people, YOU! 2025 has been a series of ups and downs, but as we all know we can ...
Return of Rose and Thorn w Jeff Daniels
24 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode from the Christmas of 2022, Heather is sitting down with her Italian stallion to recap 2022 highs and lows as well as doomsday pr...
Parisian Butter Run
17 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back from her Parisian getaway with Jackie Schimmel. She chats about her very adult gift decisions, how she tried to ...
Sparkle in the Eyes with Jared Hughes
10 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes friend and interior design extraordinaire, Jared Hughes. Jared and Heather chat about how he got into design wi...
5 Years Left with Atsuko Okatsuka
03 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in LA and welcomes Atsuko Okatsuka to the pod. Heather has shown up to the recording dress in her last dusty Br...
Return of Rebootin’ B*tch
26 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode replay from 2021, we're having a post-thanksgiving bitch fest because everyone has been forced into unwanted family-time and now we're...
Scream Cream
19 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is suffering from a wine headache, but ready to recap her weekend in Oxford for the Ole Miss game. She chats about the Lane K...
Sex in the Kitchen
12 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is coming off the high of the LA show, as well as the Dodger’s World Series Win, but also the low of fighting for her life ...
Mountain Dew Margs
05 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is in NYC after a slew of shows across Texas, Kentucky and Ohio. So many characters came out to the show, but nothing like Mi...
All Dogs Go To Heaven with Raymond Padilla
29 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather and Raymond welcome Dog the Bounty Hunter and his late wife, Beth to the pod. They threw together their costumes in 20 minute...
Return of Burnt My Grundle
22 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we’re taking it back to one of the most iconic episodes in Absolutely Not history: Burnt My Grundle. In this replay, Heather relives the ...
Unwell B*tch
16 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after the UNWELL weekend in Vegas . She had two insane shows in Florida, flew Breeze nonstop to the Cosmo,...
For the Girlies
08 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is fired up about the new Taylor Swift album, seeing Tate McRae in concert and all things that make being a girl the best. Sh...
FORE
01 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back from the Ryder Cup with a few things to say. Episode Sponsors:To explore coverage, visit ASPCAPetInsurance.com/absolu...
Workin' to the Bone
24 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is excited for the week ahead at the Ryder Cup. She is headed up to New York to host a party at the 1st tee and needs all the...
Back to the Red Carpet
17 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after hosting the EMMY’s Live from the Red Carpet for E! She chats about how hot this carpet was, t...
Trust Your Gut
11 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is coming to you from her hotel room in LA. She chats about her shows this past weekend in Omaha and Denver as well as ...
Hope and a Prayer
03 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is in Atlanta and gearing up for a couple of wild upcoming weeks. She chats about the stresses of still living with Robin and...
The Showgirl is Back!
27 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after getting back on the road with The Bamboozled Tour in Memphis and Charlotte. The Sho...
Well Done but Juicy with Retta
21 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is in LA and welcomes her fabulous friend, Retta to the pod! Retta and Heather met at a friend's birthday in Mexico and conne...
Return of Joy Ride to the ATM
13 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we’re reminiscing tales from Heather’s last tour ahead of some stops in Tennessee and Texas. In this replay episode, she breaks down th...
Who’s Unc Now?
06 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after her annual European summer vacay. She has weeded through her tik-tok trolls only to realize sh...
Stronger than Ozempic
30 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is recording straight from a pool house in Mallorca—armed with nothing but her phone, a questionable Wi-Fi signal, and enou...
Two Weeks Too Long (Replay)
23 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this replay of the pod from almost exactly 3 years ago, we get Heather fresh off her extra long honeymoon. While she should feel refreshed, renewed...
Summer at Chateau McMahan with Robin
16 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes the one and only Robin McMahan to the studio. Robin is back from Portugal with a group of fabulous older women and b...
Zoom Out with Jackie Schimmel
09 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is in LA and welcoming her favorite bitch, Jackie Schimmel, who is about to head out on her own tour- Dim the Lights. They di...
Nothing Natural
02 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is on the up and up after the events of the last few weeks. She chats about how turtles and cardinals are now showing up as s...
Bouncing Back
25 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after a very stressful and eventful week. Definitely feels like she can't get her neck above wa...
Bat in the Balenciaga (Replay)
18 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we're pulling another classic episode out of the archives for the newcomers. This one features one of the wildest voicemails we've heard ye...
The Artist’s Way with Tinx
12 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes her friend from the internet Tinx to the pod after they both separately went to Beyonce the night before! They quest...
North Face, Baby
04 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On the episode, Heather is fresh off her NYC takeover—including a memorable night at The Beacon. Now she’s back in her basement, recording old-sch...
Wiggin’ Out with Andrea Lopez and Anna Roisman
28 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in NYC and welcomes two cruising hussies to the pod. Andrea and Anna are hosts of their own pod Big Wigs but are famo...
In Her Color Palette with Kelsey Cook
28 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes Kelsey Cook to the podcast studio. Kelsey is another fabulous comic that is on tour and has released her new sp...
Atlanta is Family
21 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is in the studio after a big weekend performing at her home theatre - The Fox. She chats about how doing a show at home can b...
Daaaa Pope
14 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On the episode, Heather is feeling nautical (and musical) in a fully bedazzled ship captain’s hat. She has some hot takes on the newly appointed Ame...
When Life Gives You Lemon Drops
07 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On the episode, Heather is home for a few days and back in the Atlanta studio. She has been enjoying her few days at home, before it’s back on...
This is Healing
30 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is taking it old school and recording live from a hotel room in Miami. No, she isn’t still on the cruise, she is back ...
Live from the Lido Deck with Tina Tompkins & Raymond Padilla
23 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this truly iconic episode, Heather is coming to you live from the Absolutely Knot cruise. She has a live audience on the deck and two guests ...
Masters Sans Scammer
18 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is physically on the cruise, but has brought you a Master’s recap prior to boarding the ship. She chats about her tim...
Virgin Cruisers with Rosebud Baker
09 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back with Rosebud Baker for a light pregame just in time for The Absolutely Knot Cruise. Rosebud chats about her relations...
We’re Not Isolating!
02 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after a great show in Raleigh and then being a guest on Adam Ray’s Dr. Phil Live in Atlanta. Like everyo...
Medicated Adults with Salty Locks Sisters Boho Britt and Amber
26 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes Boho Britt and Amber from Salty Locks Extensions and Studio 285. Heather believes that being close to your glam team...
Gotta Yap A Little
19 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after a fantastic weekend of birthday shows in the DMV. She had a hell of a time celebrating her 38th with...
Well-Behaved Women
12 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta and taking some time for herself after having a small breakdown on International Women's Day. She is chang...
Made for Morning TV with Sam Morril
05 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is in the NYC studio with comedian Sam Morril. Sam is currently touring the US with his own “Errors Tour”. Heather and Sa...
Live from the Today Show!
26 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is in NYC to co-host the Today Show and so excited to give you a behind the scenes look into the start of her week with Jenna...
Blow Kisses with Jen Zaborowski
19 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is in Vegas for The Bamboozled Tour and is coming to you live from her hotel room at the Venetian. She also welcomes he...
Back to Business
12 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in Atlanta after an amazing time in Alabama opening up the Bamboozled Tour. She chats about the amazing audience memb...
They Not Like Us
05 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back on her power walks and trying to get her mornings off to a great start. She has her weighted vest on and is pum...
Tornado of Chaos
29 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather was excited to share her vision board but mishaps with some vino leads her to verbalize it. We learn about her hopes and drea...
Opposite of "Let Them"
22 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather chats about her amazing time in Maui and how she got to spend some quality time with her hubby. She does have some bone...
Further West
15 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather recaps her experience in LA during the start of the wildfires. She shares harrowing tales from friends who lost so much and r...
New Year, New …. with Raymond Padilla and Tina Tompkins
08 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in the LA studio for the new year with her two best buds Raymond Padilla and Tina Tompkins. They talk about the ...
Returns of Ovaries on a Plane (Replay)
01 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, we welcome the New Year, as well as new followers to the pod but introducing them to one of the highest rated as well as most talked ...
Holidays with Heather
25 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Heather is coming to you from the studio for the Christmas Day episode! She works through her own trauma of her childhood to figure out why she is not...
Don’t Ride Home with Sara Blakely
18 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes feminine icon Sara Blakely to the studio. Sara is a fellow Atlanta girl who started Spanx and now has introduc...
Please don’t say Atlanta with Logan Crosby
11 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes Logan Crosby back to the podcast. They chat about their holiday traditions, how road life has been treating hi...
Cleat Chaser with Kelly Stafford
04 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes fellow ATLien Kelly Stafford to the pod. Kelly and Heather grew up together 8 doors down, went to rival high s...
More Thanksgiving Hot Takes
29 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
And we are back with more of your thoughts and questions about Thanksgiving. Heather gives some advice on a gals first time at their boyfriend’...
Thanksgiving Hot Takes Part 1
27 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather takes on your absolutely unhinged Thanksgiving themed voicemails and hot takes from the DMs. Heather gets into her thoughts o...
Scissoring is a Lie with Danae Hays
20 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes the funniest gal in the south, Danae Hays. Heather has come in with some honorary cheetah print overalls and is read...
Bamboozled
13 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather starts off the episode with the exciting news of her new show, The Bamboozled Tour! She discusses the origin of the word and ...
Humbled in 36D
06 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back from the Breeders Cup. She brought Jeff and Robin across the country for a quick trip to where the surf meets th...
BONUS: ESPN Queen Laura Rutledge
01 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this bonus episode, Heather welcome Laura Rutledge to the pod. Laura is coming to us from ESPN’s campus in Bristol, CT and chats with Heathe...
They Don’t Call Me RAM for Nothing
30 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On the episode, Heather is in the studio for Halloween and brings along one of our favorite guests. ROBIN! In this iconic Halloween episode, Heat...
Rollerblades on Broadway
23 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back at the studio Atlanta after an exhilarating weekend in New York City on her press tour for Breadwinner. She refl...
Glam Trash with Briley King
16 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is NYC and welcomes Briley King to the podcast. Briley is the wife of the iconic musician Marcus King, but is a boss bitch en...
McMahan Can and She Will
09 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, the marathon continues as Heather is doing all the things from hanging out with Reese Witherspoon to a surprise pop up at the Call He...
BONUS: Who the F*** Was at the Freak-Offs?
04 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this bonus episode, Heather is back in LA and kicking the press tour off with an attitude of gratitude for all of the love on the announcement this...
She's the Breadwinner!
02 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is so excited to finally announce the release of her special, Breadwinner, coming to Hulu on October 11. Heather i...
Back in the Thick of It
25 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is home in Atlanta. She chats about her time on the Emmy’s red carpet now that she is a veteran host for E! All the ce...
"Diarrhea Mommy" with Iliza Shlesinger
18 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is joined by the amazing Iliza Shlesinger. Iliza starts by sharing some sage advice on being a new mom on the grind, trusting...
Tits Out on Deck with Becky Robinson
11 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes Becky Robinson back to the pod! They chat about how they met and came up in comedy, Becky’s dating life, prev...
Fudgy Kid
04 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather chats about her wild weekend in Oxford. She was back on stage slinging jokes as well as back in The Grove, celebrating a...
Filth with Steph Tolev
30 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this wild bonus episode, Heather has Steph Tolev in the ATL studio. Steph and Heather chat what it feels like to be a woman in comedy, what th...
Another Woman’s Win
28 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather chats about the brain fog and ADHD that she has been tackling. After much debating, she doesn’t take a loose Adderall,...
Boots in Cahoots
21 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back from London with her Era’s tour recap as well as a new conspiracy theory about pharmacies in the UK airports. ...
Very Demure on Virgin Atlantic
14 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather talks about the anxieties her next flight is bringing to the surface. We all remember Ovaries on a Plane, and Heather is...
Q3 Hard Pivot
07 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after a few weeks away in New York and LA. After receiving some unexpected news, she is determi...
BONUS: Level Up the Petty with Cody Rigsby and Andrew Chappelle
02 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this bonus episode, Heather has some special guests in the studio! Cody Rigsby (beloved Peloton instructor) and Andrew Chappelle (Broadway baby) ha...
Baby Hooker with Saoirse-Monica Jackson
31 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather welcomes Saoirse-Monica Jackson to the pod! Heather geeks out on Saoirse rise to fame on Derry Girls and her upcoming limited...
Heather's Heavenly Hogs
24 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather recounts recents events down here in Atlanta. She fleshes out a new business idea after Jeff took too long to smoke some...
CSI: McMahan
17 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather has a very special guest in the studio- her mom, Robin! After a weekend in Florida, Robin has come back with who she thi...
Part 2: Skeeting through Italia
12 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On the second part of this weeks episode, Heather takes you from the oceanside to the Tuscan countryside. She hits up her favorite spots and even trie...
Get the Gas X
10 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in the good ol’ US of A after an epic two-week trip to Italia. This will be a two part episode of everything she go...
Italy Travel Hot Takes
28 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this bonus episode, Heather takes your questions all things Italy travel. Ever wonder what Heather’s travel itinerary is, what she packs in her b...
Pack the AirTags!
26 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather goes in on JT’s recent encounter with the police in the Hamptons. She is in Italy at the moment, but answers voicemail...
Brat Summer
19 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather has an epiphany while listening to the new XCX album. It is a Brat Summer. She recaps her travels to the Belmont Stakes,...
From the Mayflower to Milos
12 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is fresh off her co-hosting gig with Hoda on the Today Show. She chats about her love for Hoda and her experience with t...
Absolutely Knot!
05 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is so excited to tell you all how to rise and relax with her at sea on her cruise - Absolutely Knot! You know travel really g...
BONUS: Hot Takes with Heather Part 3
31 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this BONUS episode of Absolutely Not, Heather talks how to deal with internet trolls, does another one of her viral “food rankings” and most im...
Too Many Graduations
30 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather is back in the Atlanta studio after MDW. She enjoying her time at home entertaining her friends and their kids at her po...
OK, Dave!
22 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, heather chats about a best friend's wedding, conspiracy theories involving Boeing and the Royal Family as well as finding out sometim...
Life's A Sprint
15 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this all new episode, Heather is BACK home in Atlanta after two weeks in Los Angeles. She gives a full recap of her time in Golden state and spills...
A Talk to Remember with Mandy Moore
08 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this truly iconic episode, Heather sits down with the one and only Mandy Moore. After Heather manifested her coming to the previous LA show, we get...
The Gay Icon with Joe Dombrowski
03 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this BONUS episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is joined by comedian, Joe Dombrowski, who immediately informs her that she is an icon to the gay com...
Going So Hard
01 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
On this episode, Heather in the studio in LA after her final shows of The Comeback Tour. She works out a lot of stress and takes some of it out on her...