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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Well, as tradition would have it, on this very lovely Thanksgiving, I will give my Thanksgiving cranberry recipe and a little couple of side thoughts as well. So enjoy.
Come and celebrate the holidays with Adam Carolla this December. Friday, December 5th at the brand new Santa Barbara Comedy Club. In Corona, California on Saturday, December 6th at Dos Lagos Amphitheater with Jay Moore. And on December 18th in Calabasas, California at the Sagebrush Cantina, a live Christmas podcast with Brad Williams. Get tickets for these shows and more at AdamCarolla.com.
This November, action is free on Pluto TV. Go on the run with Jack Reacher. Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up for Drive, World War Z. Every human being we save is one less fight. And Charlie's Angels. Damn, I hate to fly. Launch into sci-fi adventure with The Fifth Element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder. What is going on here? All the thrills, all for free.
Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is The Adam Corolla Show. Today, Adam shares his world-famous cranberry sauce recipe and some of the things he's thankful about this year. And now, with your annual reminder to keep your Thanksgiving falutin' free. Adam Carolla.
Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on, man. Get it on. Thanks very much for listening. It's been a good year with you guys tuning in and lots of fun stuff going on out there. Traveling the country, saying hi to folks. I like the idea. I love the father-son team or the mother-daughter teams.
I love when you guys come out and you go, I got my son into the show and vice versa and all that kind of stuff. So thank you very much for another great season. We're not done yet, but it's time for the cranberry recipe. Now, the origins of this story go back to maybe my first year in radio. This is Burcham K-Rock years, probably 94. Now, I got into radio in... early May 94. I know that.
I'm not a date guy. And I always tell you guys, I'm not a date person where you go, you know, when did the man show start? I don't know. When did Loveline start? I don't know. When did this begin? When did this end? How many seasons? How many episodes? I never pay attention. I don't know. Look, you're talking to the guy who doesn't know what month either one of his parents were born in.
Forget about their birth date. I don't know the year. I don't know the month. I don't know the day. I'm guessing September with maybe my mom. But, all right, we're not a tight-knit family. But the point is this. I do remember when I got into radio because I said, when I turn 30, when I turn 30, when I turn 30, I got to be doing it by the time I turn 30, and it was just before I turned 30.
So I'll never not know when I got into radio because it was right before I was turning 30. And I do remember my own birthday. I know that sounds selfish. Now...
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Chapter 2: What is Adam Carolla's Thanksgiving cranberry sauce recipe?
No one who prepared your Thanksgiving food is celebrating Thanksgiving. Ah, that's a rule. You need to celebrate Thanksgiving. The people that make the food need to eat the food they make. They can't just have some guy in the kitchen at Pavilions who's from Guadalajara who's no interest in Thanksgiving making your Thanksgiving food. All right, so...
Many years ago, we would go to the Brunos house. The Brunos were Greg and Pat and Vince Bruno. I didn't know. I thought they were my cousins. I thought he was my uncle. Turns out they were cousins. My dad was pretty fast and loose with the hooters. We didn't have family. We didn't have relatives. We didn't have anything. So we didn't know anybody.
And my dad sure as hell wasn't going to cook a turkey, and neither was my mom. They weren't going to do anything. So we ended upāwe'd have to go places on Thanksgiving because my mom, in a million years, wouldn't cook a turkey with all the fixings. And in 200 million years, my dad wouldn't cook a turkey with all the fixings. It would be impossibleā
For them to do it physically, but also spiritually, it'd be impossible for them to do that. Go out, spend money, spend all day, be in the kitchen, slaving away for your family, not in the cards. So we would end up going to the Bruno's. The Brunos lived in a very small apartment in Santa Monica. I'm talking about 60s, you know, one carport, six units, 700 square foot.
I mean, miniature, you know, one bathroom apartment. But to us, it had wall-to-wall carpet and central heating. And they had a color TV. It was sort of nice to us because we were black and white TV and wood floors and shag carpet and all that kind of stuff. So we would end up there. And I remember Pat Bruno.
chain-smoking mom, by the way, real character, like short hair, fanny pack, Winston unfiltered, you know, talent, called me ad, real Philadelphia woman, you know, ad, you know, kind of a ball buster, fun, you know, ball buster, worked, worked all day. Vince, not so much, but her husband, Greg, cousin, maybe he's my cousin.
Anyway, everything was good, and we'd go out there, and she'd do the fixings. Pretty, you know, just basic stuff. Nothing fancy. But I remember she would open up a can of cranberry sauce, and I didn't like it. I didn't like the stuff back then. I didn't like the junk. I didn't like synthetic. I didn't like canned. I didn't like Sunny D. I didn't like Gatorade. I wanted real stuff.
I wanted, like, real orange juice. I didn't want fake cheese. I wanted Velveeta. I didn't want American cheese. I wanted real stuff. When I was a kid, I just... As a kid... I knew the difference between a Porsche and a Chevrolet. Like, as a little kid, like, I'd go, that's a fucking cool piece, and that thing's a piece of shit. And I knew it. Like, I wanted good tools. I didn't want a Huffy.
I wanted a Schwinn. I knew it when I was, like, little. That's why... By the way, I was miserable because I was in a sea of Huffys and Tuffskins and shitty tools. But I, like, wanted the good stuff. And... At some point, when I got to be like 15 or something, and we were going to the Bruno's, I showed up with my own Tupperware container of cranberry sauce that I made at home.
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Chapter 3: Why does Adam dislike canned food on Thanksgiving?
And Pat had a thing. She liked her stuff. She was like one of these people, you know, these people, she had the fanny pack, she smoked. So she had the fanny pack and she had the case for cigarettes with the little holster for the lighter in it. And it was leather and it had like a flap on it and stuff like, I don't know, a pack of cigarettes is basically its own container, but all right.
She had it in there in her fanny pack and she liked to undo it and get the thing out and open it up. Probably like had her pull the lighter out of things. Like she was one of those people. She had a plastic half-gallon milk holder handle. So a square half-gallon milk container, cardboard. And this thing was a plastic square hoop with a bottom on it and a handle. And you'd slide it in.
And when you reached into the refrigerator to pour milk, you'd grab it by the handle. and you'd pour it by the handle and you'd put it back in the fridge. And it was like, you know, there's a part of me that likes it. There's another part of me that's like, oh, is it too much? I've never had an issue with pulling milk out of the fridge and dumping some in a bowl and then putting it back.
I've never lost the grip on it or whatever, but all right. I kind of liked it. It's a, you know, it's a $1.50 item, this plastic handle thing. But anyway, one year I went back to the Bruno's and noticed that that handle had broken probably five places because it was cheap plastic and it sat in that fridge and then probably sat on the counter and then went back in the fridge.
That thing heat cycled like 300,000 times and eventually just picked up the handle with the half gallon of milk and the thing just busted off. I remember it was such a novelty. But I went back after about a year and I looked. That thing had been glued in seven different spots. It took a thing that retailed for under $2 and spent a day putting that thing back together so it could be used.
And that's how the Corollas rolled. Well, it's not how the Corollas rolled. My dad wouldn't have had one in the first place. But the Brunos rolled that way. Not going to throw that thing out. Also... I don't know, Dawson, do they still make those? What would you even call that? I'll take it and drop it off at Pat's grave if they do. But anyway.
It stuck in my head that there should be no cans opened on this one day of the year. No cans opened. And cranberry sauce was so damn easy to make. So incredibly easy to make. And for some reason, this became Mr. Bertram's calling card. And once I did it on Kevin and Bean in 94, I guess I just carried it on. and up until now. So it's pretty easy.
First off, you don't need me because the recipe's on the back. of the sack of cranberries, but you'd buy a sack of cranberries and you rinse them off and you take a half cup of water and you bring it up to a boil in the sauce pan. And you put the cranberries in there and you put a cover on there. I'd lower the heat a little bit, let it simmer for about five to 10 minutes.
You don't have to do anything. Just put the thing on there. And then you add some sugar and I would just add it to taste, you know, the, the, The package says a cup of sugar. I would do half a cup or even less. Because you can just keep spooning it in and tasting it until it gets how you like it. Because it's not dessert. I mean, it shouldn't be that sweet. It's cranberries.
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Chapter 4: What personal story does Adam share about his Thanksgiving experiences?
Can I tell you the truth? Can I be 100% honest with you right now?
100% honest. You know what? I'm not going to assault you by not lying to you.
My dad was special needs, and one of his special needs was jellied cranberry sauce on Thanksgiving. If we did not have it, we never found out because we always had it.
I don't mind. Listen, the greatest president of the United States ever had Ronald Reagan like jelly beans. That was his business. You know what I mean? It was a quirk. That's fine. I don't like jelly beans. But if Ronnie wants jelly beans and if a great man wants gelatinized cranberry sauce, especially if it's his house, then that's his business. But I'm saying supplementary to the fresh stuff.
And the same with iced tea, the same with hash browns, the same with fries. All right. You guys got it? Good. Now have yourself a happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at The Adam Carolla Show. This November, action is free on Pluto TV. Go on the run with Jack Reacher. Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up for Drive, World War Z. Every human being we save is one less fight. And Charlie's Angels. Damn, I hate to fly. Launch into sci-fi adventure with The Fifth Element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder.
What is going on here? All the thrills, all for free. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. This November, action is free on Pluto TV. Go on the run with Jack Reacher. Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up for Drive, World War Z. Every human being we save is one less fight. And Charlie's Angels. Damn, I hate to fly.
Launch into sci-fi adventure with The Fifth Element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder. What is going on here? All the thrills, all for free. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. The reason for the arrival is the regular check-up of the health center. Sometimes there is pain in the joints, and in the fingers there are infections.
The customer tells us about the team work he is doing in the packaging line at the time in unergonomic settings. After a long work experience, we have found that the teeth still work for the next 100 years. We focus on health so that the teeth can focus more. The health center is the official work health partner of Joulupukki.
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