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Chapter 1: What promotional offers are mentioned at the beginning?
Pehmeitä lahjoja, kovia lahjoja, pitkiä lahjoja, väriseviä lahjoja. Sinfulista löydät ne kaikki. Osta tämän vuoden joululahjat ja säästä jopa 50% laajoista. Tee joulusta syntisempi osoitteessa sinful.fi. Welcome to Cruel Classics, I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.
This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 16 years of The Adam Carolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Cruel Classics, available exclusively through PodcastOne.plus. Sign up and get the ad-free archives of every episode of the show, all the way back to when it was myself and Chris hosting for many years.
And if you'd like to obtain the ad-free archives of The Adam Carolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, and get exclusive access to the brand new podcast, Beat It Out, featuring Adam Carolla, make sure to check out Adam's Substack, adamcarolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classics at adamcarolla.com. Now on to the clips.
Coming up first today, we have Adam Carolla Show 252. This one's from all the way back in 2010, the second year of the podcast. It's an Adam and You episode featuring Adam and callers asking various questions. We've played a bunch of these before. I don't think we've played this one in a while, if we've played it at all. Sometimes these episodes would lead to various controversies.
Let's all listen together to this one and find out what happened.
Because you love it so much and because we don't have a guest today, it's another Me and You show. That's right. Just the Ace Man in your queries. Phones are lit up as we speak. We'll take your questions. We'll do that in just a second. First, a quick piece of business. We're going to be out in Ontario. That is this coming Wednesday, the 10th. Ralph Garman's going to be there.
Dan Finnerty from the Dan Band is going to be there. Jeff Ross... is going to make the pilgrimage. He'll be officially the only Jew in Ontario at the time. He'll be out there with us. Then we'll be at Irvine the following Wednesday, the 17th. Bill Burr, Dana Gould, another all-star lineup.
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Chapter 2: What is the format of the Adam Carolla Show?
And quickly, our Hollywood Improv, our second Hollywood Improv show with Dr. Drew and me telling the Ray Enema story and Dr. Drew losing his cookies and Ralph Garman as Schwarzenegger and Doug Benson is going to be going on sale today. That's right. It's a $2.99 donation. Why do I say donation? Well, we want to keep the lights on over here. We want to keep things going over here.
We have a lot of unemployed, struggling artists over here, and this is the way to do it. Now, I know some of you are a little bit frightened. You say, what's this? Charging for a podcast? This is a special bonus podcast, meaning you will always get a podcast. As a matter of fact, the podcast you're hearing now is our Friday podcast.
If you would like to donate and help us out and help us keep food in the mouths of the wheeze or at least a bong on the lips of the wheeze, then you can order the 90-minute podcast. Star-studded, laugh-packed, live from the Hollywood Improv Show that we did on Saturday night. So again, a small $2.99 donation will keep us going here and enable us to consistently offer you the podcast for free.
Thank you. I should say thank you in advance for your generosity. All right. Now, let's get on with the show. And by the way, just go to AdamCarolla.com. It's all there. Shall we just hop on the phone lines and see who we have? Start on line one. Michael? Yeah.
Well, first of all, I'd like to say I'm living over here in Russia, and for quite a few times this year, your voice has been the only one I've heard in English. That's really refreshing, and I just want to thank you for that. Yeah, everyone else speak in Spanish? Oh, Russia. I live in Southern California, so my fantasies, they speak Spanish everywhere. German, Mars, Russia. It's all Spanish.
I guess. So go ahead. All right. My question is, there's been a few people on lately. You know, John Sally, you had a guy on, the raw food guy. And they're giving medical advice and diet advice. and claiming kind of cures the medical problem. And I guess my question is, what's your take on people that aren't doctors giving medical advice?
Well, if they're not doctors, the only people experienced or qualified to give out medical advice are either doctors or actors. That's what I've learned. Donnie, you got the phone that rings in here as opposed to the other phone? Donnie, we do have a phone that is our phone that we're supposed to have in here, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Donnie, why not just use the phone that we use for calls on our phone calls? Because Spider and the Henchmen did an interview yesterday and they needed the speakerphone. But then we need to switch it over when we're doing the phone call show. Are you talking to somebody right now? I am, but I'll answer his question.
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Chapter 3: What controversies arise during the 'Me and You' episode?
You can switch it over. It says studio phone in big red letters on the thing. All right, while Donnie does his technical magic, I'll answer the question. Look, there's a lot of people that have a lot of beliefs. I find that there's people that believe in God and eat junk food, and then the people that don't believe in God believe in nature and they eat whole food. That's usually how it works.
I'm an atheist who just eats anything put in front of me. Waiting for Donnie. Okay. We got that straightened out, Donnie? There we go. Now, does this stuff cure cancer? No. Would it hurt to eat things that are good for you? Yes. If you had cancer, would it hurt you? No. If you said, I'm going to forego my doctor's advice and not get chemotherapy and just eat raw foods, would it hurt you?
I think it would hurt you. So my feeling is, as the old Jewish joke went, it couldn't hoit. to eat the food that's good for you, but it certainly is not going to cure AIDS or cancer. Might it prevent it? Certainly could help. And if you just lived in a line that perpetually went through a drive-thru and ate things that had country gravy.
I'm sure it would cause some medical problems at a certain point. So I'm somewhere in between. The reason I don't put a pin in these guys' hot air balloons normally is because essentially they're right. It's kind of... Kind of like the smoking thing, which is secondhand smoke ain't going to kill you. On the other hand, do you want somebody smoking in a car that your kid is in? Not really.
So let them preach, even if they're pushing the boundaries of the truth just a little bit. My feeling is genetics in moderation. If your genetics are good, you're fine. If you're genetically not predisposed to get cancer, then you're not going to get cancer. You could probably give yourself cancer by moving into the Love Canal or Three Mile Island or something like that.
But look, have some chili fries every once in a while. Just make it every once in a while. Pop that multivite. Get a little exercise. You don't have to get on the creatine and go two hours a day. Just do things in moderation and you'll probably make it to 75 or 80. All right, let me jump back to the phones and go to line two, just going down the line. Justin? Yo. What's going on, Justin?
How you doing, Adam? Doing well. Wow, this is amazing. Well, I have a question for you. I was just curious. I've been listening to you on KROQ and on your podcast for, well, since day one pretty much, and noticed for a while you went without doing the Week in Rage, which was one of my favorite things, and then I picked it up, noticed you've been doing it on Kevin and Bean.
And always been my favorite part of your act. I start crying sometimes when I'm at work and I'm hearing you rant. But I was just curious, I know you're not a big book man, but I was curious if you had ever thought about or been approached by anyone to kind of take all your rants and put them into some sort of comedic book. I think it would be absolutely hilarious.
And my thoughts are that if Paul Reiser... can write a book full of one-page rants that make me laugh. And I can't even imagine how much harder I would laugh at anything that you had in the book. Well, thank you. And I hope Paul's not listening. Yeah, me too.
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Chapter 4: What insights does Adam Carolla share about medical advice from non-doctors?
So I'm a little bit, or I should say manuscript in three days ago. So I'm a little bit late on that. But I think it'll be coming out somewhere around the end of this year. That's awesome. Well, I'd like to say I'll be first in line to buy it. I can't wait. I'm so happy to hear you. Thanks, Justin. The good news is there'll be no line. So you'll just be first to buy it. Listening every day.
Thanks, buddy. All right. Good times. All right. Let's keep going down the line to line three. Speak to Chris. Chris. Hi. Hey. Sorry. That's all right. I was just wondering, I know what a cake lover you are. Sorry, pie lover. And I was wondering if you try to shelter your children from cake at all or if you allow them to have it at birthday parties.
So far, I've not intervened in the cake and pie as far as my children go, but I will force them to love pie at some point, or I'll threaten to disown them. So my birthday parties always have birthday pies, and they're always stolen long before they even get laid out and put out in front of people. I've said it. Many times, pie versus cake. Pie is much better than cake.
Cake makes a good substrate for candles and miniature football players and themes and goalposts and shit like that. You can't, like for instance, half the kids' cake's You know, first off, when did you have to start picking a theme for the top of the fucking cake? You know what I mean? You're having a party. You got a bunch of nine-year-olds. There's cake and ice cream and fruit punch everywhere.
Why do we need to do an elaborate scenario on top of the cake? Why do we have to turn the top of the cake into a football field? Hey, little Timmy loves football. Good. I love football too. I also like cake that don't have goalposts and hash marks on it and a chain gang.
So how about you just cut a fucking piece of cake and we'll go into the other room and watch the football game and enjoy the cake. You know what I'm saying? I enjoy boobs, but I don't have to paint a football field on boobies. And I don't have to buy loaves of bread that are shaped like footballs. They can be shaped like loaves of bread. I'm looking at a SpongeBob or SquarePants-themed cake.
What's all the thing? When is a cake not good enough? You know what I mean? Like, do you ever think you'd just put a big chocolate cake in front of your kid for his ninth birthday with nine lit candles in it? He's going to go, hey, what the fuck, old man? Where's SpongeBob? Where's Dora the Explorer? What's going on? There's no theme here. How am I supposed to eat this?
You know what the theme is? Cake. That's the theme. That's the ultimate theme. It's nummy. That should be all you need. And by the way, who wants to pick off all the plastic shit? How many kids choke each year, you know, on an army man that was on the, you know, army themed cake? And then when you do pick the shit off, it takes a lot of frosting with it.
And then you do probably the most unsanitary thing in the world, which is you pull off the little plastic football players, and as you pull off the plastic football players, you lick the base of them. Let me get some of that frosting out of there. I'm sure that shit just sat in a bin and came over on a container ship from China. You're licking it now? I'm looking at a cake now.
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Chapter 5: How is the Times performing amidst challenges?
How is the Times going?
Well, it's bankrupt, but it's chugging along.
Is it one of these things that, sort of like the Hollywood sign, we're never going to let it die, or will we let it die as a city?
The thing about the Hollywood sign is it was never in any jeopardy. I wrote a column about it a few weeks ago. Somehow, this was like an urban myth that started going around. The land around it was going to be sold back to...
Chapter 6: What are the urban legends surrounding the Hollywood sign?
To a developer?
To the developer. Or a developer had had it for a long time. I don't want to misrepresent.
Well, you wrote the column.
I don't remember. I only remember the column I wrote about you. But the Hollywood sign itself was never going anywhere. They were going to build houses around it.
But the thing, I think the thing was, and they, well, let me tell you. Let me explain a couple things. Because I used to live up Beachwood Canyon. And that's where the Hollywood sign is. And the land part fell off, and Hugh Hefner passed the hat. They raised like $240,000, and they rebuilt it. Imagine that, you know, 240K. Couldn't get a fucking driveway put in around here for that now.
But they rebuilt the sign. And now they wanted to sell the land, or the developer wanted to sell the land. And so somebody said there's going to be a McMansion in the middle of the O, or something like that.
Oh.
Not going to tear down the Hollywood sign, but who wants to look up at a bunch of bad stucco next to the D? And I think that's what they were saying. Keep it pristine. Keep the mountain pristine.
No, I agree. Preserving the area is absolutely a good thing. But the sign itself.
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Chapter 7: What personal experiences shaped the speaker's views on home ownership?
The entire time, when I lived up in Beachwood Canyon, at some point, they wanted to build a little curb around the store. I don't know if you know, there's like a little country store up there, and there's a diner up there, which is a horrible diner. You should never eat there.
But the point is, is at some point, somebody wanted to build a little curb with a little fountain that had a little kitten like playing like a little statue of a kitten playing with the fish in the fountain or something like that. And it really was going to come out eight feet. It's going to be like.
If you look at this picture that Donnie's showing you, the corner of Beachwood used to just kind of be clicked. And somebody said, we should build a little fountain there. And a whole thing erupted. Oh, it was controversy. They're going to build a fountain there. And I remember people were saying to me. That will technically be a park. It will be labeled a park.
And then once it becomes a park and it's literally a 10 foot by 10 foot.
It's like a parking. It's an island in the middle of the street.
It will be designated as a park. And then hobos will sleep there.
Hobos.
Bums. Oh, I thought you said something else. Drug addicts.
Not homos.
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Chapter 8: How does the speaker view the role of government in personal finances?
And everyone was like coming to me, maybe because I had some celebrity and like, you need to spearhead this. These people are trying to develop this land. And I was always like, who gives a shit? Because I know none of this stuff turns into anything.
There's only room for one hobo.
Why are we fucking? hysterics. I know I'm going to sound like Chuck Heston here, but whether it's drilling in Anchorage or whatever Arizona's done with their latest immigration reform, whatever, everyone always goes nuts. Nazi Germany, hobos, it's going to kill caribou. And then what happens? Nothing. Like nothing ever happens. It never happens. I know you think it does happen. It never happens.
You were probably one of these people that went hysterical when they were talking about the Patriot Act five years ago. You want people busting in your house and pulling your computer out of your wall? I was the only guy who went, nothing will ever happen. And it never does.
I want to ask you this, and I wanted to ask you about this.
Please. This is the fucking corner that everyone made a big fucking deal. Actually, it looks good now. There's a thing. It literally used to just turn. It turned like that, all right? Here's the old picture. Thank you, Donnie. It's amazing what you're doing with the computer. It used to turn around, and they made it jet out. It actually makes more sense now than it did before. No, I know.
And everyone was like, that's how it originally was. And I'm like, listen... People were all drunk Irishmen back then. They weren't geniuses. They didn't have computers. Most of them were on the take. Who says they were all geniuses back then? I mean, maybe the guys who originally laid it out were drunken assholes who had bad ideas. So who gives a shit?
I want to know how you managed to buy real estate up there so early in your career. How did you get your financial act together?
I'll tell you. Thank you, Donnie. I'll tell you. Hobos are going to be sleeping there. I'll tell you exactly what happened with me in Beachwood Canyon. I owed – I had no money, as you know because you've documented my life. Nice job, Donnie. I owed the IRS like four grand that you work out a payment program with those vultures. You pay the minimum amount, which is like $31 a month.
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