Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fans like the clips from all 16 years of The Adam Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics, available exclusively through PodcastOne.plus.
Sign up and get access to the entire archive of the show, commercial free, dating back to the original episodes hosted by myself and Chris. And if you'd like to access the ad-free archives of The Adam Carolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, or get exclusive access to the brand new podcast, Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Carolla's Substack, adamcarolla.substack.com.
And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classics at adamcarolla.com. All right, let's get to the clips. Coming up first, we have Adam Carolla Show 540. This one's from 2011, featuring Adam and Blake from Workaholics, along with Allison and Brian. Hope you guys enjoy this episode.
Good day, Paul Bryant. Every damn night. Every damn night. Good day, Alison Rosen.
Good day, Adam Carolla.
All right. You guys, I'll give you a quick update on that Guinness Book of World Records thing. We're doing great. You guys are doing great. Ran into a lot of people on the road that said they've signed up folks at work and loved ones and all that kind of stuff. And we're doing very well. And I will... ...be doing a big unveiling. And I will be doing it on the Jimmy Kimmel Show.
Wow.
And it's coming up in a few weeks. And I'll let you know. Do not... Now's not the time to slack off, folks. We got to take the record. Ricky Gervais has the record. We won it here in the United States... ...where it goddamn belongs. And it's up to you guys. And all we ask is that you sign up. You subscribe. You get your friends to subscribe...
And then I will go on Kimmel's show, and I've got some surprises for you. And we'll probably have a guy from Guinness Book there. And we will make it all official.
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Chapter 2: What updates are shared about the Guinness World Records attempt?
I enjoy it. Performing is performing, but this feels like the podcast, which is the energy of a live show. So you can come on out and check that out. Also, we're going to do a live podcast at the Irvine Improv. We'll do a nice early Sunday matinee show, 5 o'clock.
Then keg party at my parents' house.
We'll bring Greg Fitzsimmons with us out on that show. Also, Will Turn Theater coming up on the 21st. And that is May. And Phoenix is going to be at the Orpheum Theater on the 22nd of April. And many other dates. Go to AnnCrolla.com. Check it out. All right. Let's get to some news, Allison. Yeah.
Okay.
Live from the International News Center, next to Donnie's Mini Bikes, this is The News with Allison Rosen.
Get this, Adam Carolla, who was on Dancing with the Stars, and Bob Bryan, who wasn't. Kirstie Alley was dropped last night. Her partner dropped her, and we have the video.
Yeah. And he's one of the stronger guys on the show. But she's, you know, I got to say, you know, 200 pounds is 200 pounds. I mean, whether it's a dude or a chick or a monkey or whatever it is, and you throw it your way.
I felt mortified for her. I mean, this would be the nightmare of being a larger person on Dancing with the Stars.
Yeah. Now, I had this problem last night. I'll tell you about it in a second. Made that Hawaiian guy cry. By the way, you want to talk about lightweights. The guy who sung the song went about 650, right? Is. Oh, it was.
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Chapter 3: What are the upcoming live events mentioned?
Wife beater with no wife to beat. No, just that husky.
Some find it a refreshing thing.
I'm talking about that husky Asian, not Asian, Hispanic kid. I'm talking about the husky. He's husky. How old is he? He's six. And let me tell you something. There's a big difference in terms of daddy's back for the four-and-a-half-year-old who's thin-boned and the six-year-old who's heavy set. It's a different thing. And the...
He's got himself or she and her man have gotten divorced or they broke things off. She caught him cheating, whatever. They broke off. She she she confides in my wife. I don't get involved. Do you know what I'm saying? But as a guy who is a product of divorce and who knows what it's like to be a young, rambunctious man and to want to wrestle with a male partner.
You put Nathan in a headlock.
I kicked the shit out of that little Mexican. No, I knew that he wanted to wrestle. The thing is, as a guy, and especially as a young man, it's so heartbreaking that these guys aren't around their dads because they want to be with other guys. They want to wrestle. They want that bonding thing. And just hanging around the chicks, it ain't cutting it. But little boys really want to be little boys.
I mean, it's all swords and superheroes and jumping off of things. It's all this sort of Spider-Man. All this stuff Brian is just getting into. And they're really, I mean, really, man, I mean, it's why they all go nuts for the Hulk and the Spider-Man and all this stuff. Because they're all this stay and a sword and a fight and a wrestle. Right. And my daughter's rambunctious, too.
So at a certain point before I come into work, I try to do it on a semi-nightly basis. My daughter will say, let's wrestle. Let's wrestle. Now, she's built like a ballerina. She's sort of long and stringy and light and taut. Like, you can pick her up with one hand because she's sort of stiff that way. And my son is, you know, he's lost some of his baby fat as well. But young Nathan...
He's a formidable ball of cheese. That kid's got a little weight coming behind him. Now, as I've explained in an earlier podcast, Daddy's knee is bad. Daddy's knee is jacked up. is going to have to get some arthroscopic surgery or an MRI or something. But it's been two weeks, and the knee is jacked up. And I'm coming from a place of a guy who does not complain about injuries.
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Chapter 4: What humorous observations are made about the dining experience in Clinton, Iowa?
And, look, the place is called Flavor Flavor. It's got a big picture. I mean, that's why they do it. Yeah. I mean, the guy's name is Flavor. He should be involved in some kind of... Plus, I think he's delicious. Some savory endeavor. Everyone evokes Kenny Rogers because, you know, his bro's the chicken. It's delightful. And they go, look, but work for the camera.
Chapter 5: How do the hosts reflect on their childhood experiences in Iowa?
He's white. And he's selling chicken. You understand? Imagine what you could do with your pigment.
They did get the finest storefront in Clinton, Iowa.
It is the jewel. It's a jewel in the crown for Clinton, Iowa real estate. Location, location, location. That's right.
Wait, did you say you know Clinton, Iowa?
Yeah, I'm from Waterloo, Iowa. There we go. And then moved to Omaha when I was 10. Shout out.
But you ended up at OCC?
Yeah, that's where dreams are made. Yeah, I was trying to move to L.A. and my parents thought I'd get gang raped if I moved directly there. Probably just raped. Yeah.
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Chapter 6: What insights are shared about parenting and children's expectations?
Yeah, no, not a whole gang. Yeah, you know, as far as gangs go, it's like... Don't flatter yourself. Yeah, they probably wouldn't waste their time on a guy like you. I mean, you're fairly easy on the eyes, but you're not Brad Pitt. I'm saying they'd probably dispatch a gang member or two to rape you. But I think it would be a full gang rape. How many people constitute a gang raping?
I think it's a percentage of the gang. So if you have a gang that has several hundred guys in it, then you're going to have at least 10% of the gang. 10% is a full gang rape. Right. But if you've got a gang where there's only like four guys in it, then if one guy just fingers you, that's gang rape. That's a gang bang. Boom. It's 10% of the gang.
Yeah.
Well, if they have $900, they wouldn't have to gang rape you.
Some consider that a gang raping.
Yes. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. It's the same thing. Absolutely. Yeah. But again, it'd probably just be a solo rape situation. I could see that. I should talk to your parents. Yeah. Well, I'm glad I moved to Orange County. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, that was probably a good move.
But you guys live in L.A. now?
We do. We sure do. It's much safer. Van Nuys. Beautiful Van Nuys. If you've ever heard of that, Van Nuts, we call it. Beautiful. We get so crazy out there.
Yeah, we do get real crazy. It's beautiful. Yeah, isn't it? Isn't it? Love. It's gorgeous.
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Chapter 7: What humorous crow security detail story is shared?
They recognize, and you're going to tell the story about wearing masks and all that? Yeah. All right, tell the story. I was like, you can have your own crow security detail. Right. Evil people in movies usually have crow security details. Aren't they usually flying around evil things? They have flying evil things, but they're not dedicated crows. Okay, all right.
My crows could be on the roof right now. Sure, sure. And when I walk out of this club in an hour, like let's say you walk, last night. You walk out of the club, that asshole who's sitting over there is waiting for you by your car. And he's like, hey, Jew boy, you think you're funny because you're from New York? And you'd just be going, 500. Four. Pow. Yeah. Summon the crows.
They just fucking land on the dude's head. And I don't care.
Chapter 8: How do crows communicate and remember people?
I don't care how deep. Oh, they start poking his eyes out. I don't care how deep into the MMA you are when eight crows hit you in the head. Yeah. You're fucked. You took Randy Couture and sent three crows his head. He'd run like a chick, screaming down, flapping his arms. There's nothing you could do. Yeah, you could be... Oh, that'd be awesome. I don't know if the guy had a gun or not.
Just boom. The crow guy. The crow summoner. Attack crows. And they... You know how they fly?
Mm-hmm.
As the crow flies. Yeah, they could make it here to Orange County in 20 minutes. They don't care about traffic. Who knew that was true? Top of your car has a big rainbow-taped crow stuck to it so they can identify it in traffic in case there's trouble on the road. There's no way people wouldn't think you were fucking evil, though, if you had crows. I don't give a... Evil in the wild.
Small price to pay.
Yeah.
And as Adam often reminds us, let's say you have eight attack crows. You lose one. No big whoop.
Yeah. Yeah, like, ain't no big deal. I married my crow today, man, so I'm in no mood. What? You got seven more. One shy on the crow posse. Yeah.
You know what they call a group of crows?
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