Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 16 years of The Adam Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics, available ad-free exclusively through PodcastOne.plus.
And if you'd like to find the ad-free archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, or exclusive access to the brand-new podcast, Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's Substack, adamcorolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classics at adamcorolla.com. All right, let's get to the clips.
Coming up first, we have Adam Carolla's show 1441 with Maria Menounos, Alison Rosen, Brian Bishop from 2014.
Good day, Alison Rosen. Hello, Adam Carolla. And Paul Bryan. I've had too many experiments blow up in my mouth. At Omega Mando wanted that with the hashtag top drop. Well, lots of stuff to get to today. Maria Menounos is coming in. Speaking of screwing up names, I think I was saying George Clinton yesterday when I meant to say Bill Clinton.
I was wondering.
George is priced by the middle of the line.
Yeah, I meant to say Bill Clinton when I was talking about coming to your party. And I realized, why do I do George and Bill?
Isn't he your brother, George?
Well, there's George Bush, who was before or after or before and after the George Bush. And then there's George Washington. And those are the two things that get me to say George Clinton when I mean Bill Clinton, because my brain thinks president and George is the most presidential. There's no there's no bills of a couple of Williams or something, but no one ever called themselves Bill.
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Chapter 2: How did Maria Menounos influence the show?
That's right. President Dole. That's right. So anyway, that's where I get my Bill Clinton, George Clinton thing screwed up. But I meant Bill Clinton. Yeah, George Clinton probably. Get him over to your party for. I'd like to know what everyone's price is. I bet you can get him there for 20 grand.
I would think that would get him and P-Funk there.
Right. Speaking of P-Funk, that guy's got some pit funk going on in such a big way. Actually, when your hair goes down past your pits, then it just becomes the funk underground railroad that carries the shit everywhere. But that guy's fucking hair goes and gets caught under his pits everywhere.
Remember there was like that joke when you were a kid where it's like, geez, why do your thumbs smell, Mr. Farmer? And then the guy would like tuck his thumbs under his pits and cross his arms and go, I don't know, or whatever. But George Clinton's hair is pretty funky, but it spends a lot of time in his armpits, if you really think about it.
Right, so you're smelling his pits in his hair.
Yes, if he reclines, his hair is going into his pits. And then we got a serious... We have a modality of stink transportation to get from the pit to the scalp. A feedback loop of pit smell. Yeah, whereas you, you're perfect, Brian. I'm good. I smell clean and neutral.
Do you remember that feeling of, and you might not, but being in school and smelling the hair of the person in front of you? And if it happened to be some... crazy stoner person. It never really smelled good.
Well, they had that shampoo for a while in the 70s. Gee, your hair smells like George Clinton. Short-lived for a reason. Short-lived. So they swapped that out for terrific. But those bottles, if you can find them, are worth a lot on eBay.
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Chapter 3: What humorous anecdotes are shared about names and presidents?
Is that true? Yeah, they swapped it out with terrific. Somebody said, you know, we're not moving any product here. And no one knows who George Clinton is. Larry, you're fired from this ad agency, by the way. So let's just swap that out with terrific. Poor Larry. And then Larry, last words he was heard were saying, but what songs does terrific sing? And someone yelled, you don't get it at all.
That's the last thing he was ever heard saying in that company.
I meant, is it true that they go for a lot on eBay, but I was a little bit delayed. Okay.
Now I'm with you. So we, I don't know exactly how it worked, but I had these old Mr. Burcham tapes. People ask me all the time, how did you get started in radio? I said, well, I trained Jimmy to box. But then they forgot about the Mr. Burcham tapes. Who is the character that Jimmy told me to come up with? And he didn't tell me to come up with Mr. Burcham.
He just told me come up with a character and call into the Kevin and Bean show on K-Rock in Los Angeles where he was Jimmy the sports guy. And then if you called in as this character, then maybe you could get on the show as some sort of reoccurring whatever. It's sort of like Prisoner David. You would call in. Wow, a blast from the past. Yeah, a guy called in from maximum security prison.
But he called in and he showed up sort of prepared. Yeah. And he would sing songs and make little ditties and have little things. He'd have other prisoners there to talk to? Right, and so he called in, this is to the radio show, and his first appearance was entertaining. So then when he called in a week later, we sort of went, oh, it's that guy. You know, let him call in again.
Now, by the time he got to his fifth or sixth one, he'd have a stinker every once in a while, but his first few were good enough so that when we saw he was on the line, we talked to him, and he didn't put three stinkers in a row together. This is... Sort of what I try to preach to people. You can have a bad outing. Pat Sajak can probably have an off night on Wheel of Fortune.
We're all thinking the same thing. I know. Because he's two million shows in, he could probably show up drunk and really be completely out of hand. And I still think he'd keep his gig. But if he tried it during the first week... I don't think it would go over.
Or if Vanna just willy-nilly spelt out the N-word, just willy-nilly, just picked all the wrong letters and just spelled it out on her own, she probably couldn't get away with that week one. No, but now? She's grandfathered. She probably does it anyway. So I always said, you know, you got to kind of show up your first whatever. Now, we had all these. So Jimmy said to me, come up with a character.
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Chapter 4: What relationship dynamics are revealed through birthday celebrations?
I can't stand it when we're apart.
And those people get divorced a week later. That's what I'm telling you.
Those who show enthusiasm. Those who recognize birthdays and anniversaries. Those who say hi instead of grunt. Those, those, those. Those who get flowers. Nate, think about flowers. That's right. That's right. That's right.
Yes. That's hilarious.
All right. So we have... The road to divorce is paved with teddy bears and chocolate.
That's right. That's so Kevin, too.
I love it. But you're... I feel like, Maria, you're... I mean, you're very feminine, but you're also very pragmatic, I would say. So I don't know where birthdays... How, like, birthdays land... For you, as it pertains to Kevin, for instance, who's sort of a common-law husband. Well, he is, right? Yeah, he is. I mean, you guys have been together forever, right? Yeah. But you're not married.
Mm-hmm.
But how doāis itāhere's what I would think.
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Chapter 5: How do personal experiences shape views on gift-giving in relationships?
And don't let me put words in your mouth.
Okay.
But if something else goes in, that'll be fine. Here's what I'm saying. Well, she's attractive. And we have a certain thing because we both like yelling at people who make less money than we do.
And judging.
That's our thing. We could get together and make a great couple where we just yelled at people that made minimum wage. Don't eyeball me, son. This is the foundation of many successful relationships. But you probably feel like you would like him to definitely recognize your birthday because you want him to recognize it, but the idea of celebrating the birthday is not important. You tell me.
I think... Okay, I think for me, first of all, we don't do any of that. We don't do birthdays or anniversaries or any of that stuff. Kevin's line's always been, every day's your birthday.
I like that.
It's true.
You're 7 million years old. What? You're 7 million years old.
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Chapter 6: What insights are shared about the pressures of social expectations?
Like, I want to know if every day is Yom Kippur.
We never put that, you know, when I talk about it in my book, I think it's actually kind of a really healthy thing to do in relationships because I think girls set guys up for such failure all the time. And that's what, like, creates a lot of tension in relationships. So it's like, I'm, oh, my God, I really want him to give me this. And then he doesn't get you that. And then you hate him.
And then you guys fight. And it's just, it's all meaningless. you know, your relationship should mean more than that holiday or that, you know, Valentine's Day or whatever. You know, do something special, like maybe you guys, you know, recognize the day, like, happy birthday, love you, blah, blah, blah. But it doesn't have to be like... Another song based on that.
Blah, blah, blah.
Happy birthday, love you, blah, blah, blah.
I'm going to yell at some minimum wagers.
I just think it's a lot of unnecessary pressure.
Hey, let's do fast food so we can yell at more minimum wagers. The guys at the nice places are making a decent living.
I don't know. That's just my thing.
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Chapter 7: What humorous ideas are proposed for handling drunken behavior in public?
Because you are drunk in public a lot. I mean, it's concerts, it's nightclubs, it's sporting events, it's airports, it's airplanes. You have to interact with non-drunk people a lot. I mean, you think about any given flight. Wait, wait, it's for us to interact with the drunk? I feel like people need to be coached up on how to fucking act when you're drunk.
Part of it is everyone's a lightweight compared to you. Well, but the first thing you need to understand is you are drunk. We need the Allison Rosen Booze Academy. I agree. Allison Rosen Booze Academy. Headmistress at the Allison Rosen Booze Academy.
I love it. It's like facts of life.
Yeah, like if you spot somebody from Basic Cable and you would like to buy them a cocktail at 7.52 in the morning... Remember you're drunk. That's fine.
Remember you're drunk. That's fine.
When you go and talk to them. But when they drink the first cocktail... Don't become belligerent and angry when they don't take the second cocktail 11 minutes later. And when they refuse the second cocktail, don't look at them and say, man show, huh? Yeah. Jesse, 27, Phoenix. Let's see. Try that. Jesse, you there? Let me try this again. Tried it. There she is. Wait. You on? Jesse? There.
All right. Is it... Now, it's always, here's how it works every time. Yeah, you're right.
Okay.
But I've checked everything, and it should totally be working.
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Chapter 8: What insights are shared about the challenges of parenting and homework?
It could be Jesse went to the bathroom.
No.
No, I'm not hearing anything. All right. Try it again. Try someone else. Michael? Hey, fans. They always have to. Why the appropriate pause, by the way, when you're trying to figure it out? That amount when you go, oh, none of these lines are working. There's always an extra Mississippi in there. Just to screw with you. Okay.
Oh, no. No, that's Jesse.
That was Jesse. Jesse wants to know, when Kimmel goes to commercial breaks, he usually leans over and talks to a guest, what he's usually saying right before you go to commercial. In my experience, you're hearing one of two things, right? Good job or funny stuff. That was funny. Yeah. He normally goes, that's funny. Or he goes, shitty audience, you know, which means not funny. Not your fault.
But don't worry about it. It's funny that that question came up because I was thinking for some bizarre reason, had a thought this morning about something he said to me. I don't have any idea why. During commercial break, he leaned in. It was right when HLN launched and he said, well, you're on TV now. It's a daily show. It's game on now. Yeah, it's a job, man.
What do you mean by that?
It's hard work to put on a show on every day. You should have stayed the fuck out of my way. That's what I heard. But it was encouraging at the same time, but welcome to the club was a little bit what it was, and good luck. Yeah, it is a grind. Any daily show. Jimmy probably has 200 people working at that place. I mean, it is a crazy behind. It was crazy with our thing. We do it with, like, 11.
Well, at a certain point, I believe there's diminishing returns. Once you get too many people running around that place, it gets more and more complicated. With life changes, we had almost 70.
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