Chapter 1: What is the purpose of Corolla Classics?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 17 years of The Adam Corolla Show. If you'd like to hear any of the full episodes or clips presented in these episodes, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's sub-stack, adamcorolla.substack.com.
There you'll find ad-free archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, as well as the podcast Beat It Out. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classicsatadamcorolla.com. All right, let's get to the clips. Coming up first, we have Adam Curl's show, 1534, featuring Naomi Grossman, Matt Atchity, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop from 2015.
Matt Atchity, everybody. Rotten Tomatoes, good to see you, my friend. Aloha. Aloha. Boy, I don't know what's going on out there, but I was just driving back from Walnut. Where is that? Every time I talk to the Catch a Contractor guys and they tell me where I need to be the following morning at 8 a.m., I go, you understand, I've spent 50 years.
In this area, I have not heard of most of the places you're sending me to. I don't know how you're consistently able to pull that off. Every once in a while, you think you'd sprinkle in a Reseda or Sherman Oaks or Westwood or something. And I'd go, yeah, I think I used to. data chick who lived in Reseda or something. But these are all places I know not of.
But I took my kids with me because, you know, they're driving me nuts. They're on their spring break.
And you're going to teach them to catch contractors early, right?
Yeah, they want to catch contractors. They like the show, and it's sort of ā there's a lot of kids that like the show because it has that sort of ā thematically, it's easy. It's the bad guys, and then the big guy with the tattoos yells at them. Tell the teacher. So it's pretty easy thematically, and they wanted to go.
And so we got up early this morning, and we drove out to Walnut, and then ā I drove straight here from Walnut, and then they hung out the whole time. And they're sweet kids. And, you know, I'm one of the stars of the show, so they're not going to get yelled at too much. But they're good.
I mean, I thought they ā I was kind of trying to teach ā I am a very strong believer in bring your kids to, expose your kids to kind of, you know, this sort of one day in the classroom. I mean ā Even they they're off.
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Chapter 2: What are the highlights from Adam Carolla's show featuring Naomi Grossman?
I mean, some better than others, but one that you couldn't have burnt off to really go be in the middle of a production. Well, that especially because most people spend the majority of their lives where they were born. They end up coming back or they live there. They just live there forever.
And if they're going to live in this town forever, it's nice to know that there are many jobs associated with the entertainment industry or production or whatever. And also a lot of kids grow up not knowing what their parents do for a living, certainly not being able to explain it to somebody else. Well, and even more importantly, there's no craft service in school. That's right.
Many a kebab was had.
A note from the fat guy in the room. Thank you.
Yeah, good food and a super faraway place. But kids had a fun time. And look, they get a kick out of watching their daddy do what he does and what they see on TV. And for me, that's a huge part of being a parent. You know, this part about you need to be their friend and their confidant and they need to trust you and they need to bubba. I really think... they need to respect the shit out of you.
Like I really do. That is a massive thing. Like we're always talking about, are they getting the filtered water and are they learning, you know, uh, they're learning a second language and what about music? And, and how, by the way, how, you know, everything expands everything. Oh, it turns out two hours of cello practice a day. And, and, and they're, uh,
The statistics of them getting into a top five school go up 28 percent. Like, yeah, all right. No shit. But I know I follow those. What I'm saying is, is watching daddy or mommy do their thing or interact with other people or have other people come up to them and address them with respect and have daddy or mommy respect back to them. Real good thing for kids to be exposed to. And yes, Matt.
Do you close the loop with them to a certain extent on, like, okay, and kind of go back through, like, here's why I did this and here's what I was doing and kind of give them a little insight as to why what you're doing is important?
No. I... My thing is kids are pretty spongy, and they don't need the explanation. They just need the realization. They just need to see it sort of unfold. They'll take from it what they will, but I just want them to just be in it. I don't turn it into these things where we drive back from Walnut, and I quiz them up on who's doing the sound and who the first AD is. Who hold the boom. Yeah.
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Chapter 3: What parenting lessons does Adam Carolla share?
It's just a waste of my time. No, Natalia and Skip's wife Allison are having a love affair, so she's making her all up with the makeup and doing all the stuff, and Sonny's floating around. Watch out. Natalia's going to want a tattoo. Yeah, they want to get on camera and blah, blah, blah. So I shot a little thing with them. It was probably never going to see the light of day.
But, you know, they think they don't understand how much hits the floor. Yeah, they do those ad buster things between the commercials. A little like, you know, 10 second things. Maybe I'm going to have to tap Hartley. Yep. So anyway, that's what I did. But when I was driving. Yeah, it's a union thing. When I was driving back. It was raining a little bit. I was merging from the 134 to the 5.
It was one of those, okay, there's a couple arrows sideways kind of telling you you're going to be merging. I'm real good with the blinker. I put the blinker on well in advance. I do that move where... I'm a little bit ahead of a car that's to my left, and I'm going to merge in front of it. So I got the blinker on. I start to speed up.
I don't do the move where I speed up and get around the person. I just sort of slid in front of this nice-ish looking 30-something-year-old woman in an SUV and get the horn honk. Kind of to the point where I'm a little bit confused. Like, who's she honking at? Or is that for me? Because I don't really do anything. Nothing aggressive. Nothing herky-jerky.
Just literally slid in a merge from one freeway to another. Just slid in front of her, starting out a little bit ahead of her. Didn't have to hit the gas or the brake or jerk the wheel or anything. And then I realized I'm getting the extended dance horn, like not just a tap, like, hey, man, I'm getting the lean on the thing.
And then I look in my rear view and she's just got the F finger up and she's just holding it in place for an extended period of time. And I just thought, why? Where's all this coming from and what's going on and how's the rest of your life working out? And. I'm driving a nice car. I got my kids in the car. What really just transpired here? By the way, it's very traffic-y.
There's a lot of cars on the freeway. It's 530. How is this interaction going to affect you in the next hour, let alone the rest of your day? Well, something tells me this started way before you. Yes. And I hope her fucking stepdad dropped more than one digit on her. And that's where this all comes from. I mean, that's how I sleep at night.
But and I hope they were in untraditional places, places where digits don't often find homes. But either way, I got that. I just thought, well, first off, it's drizzling. It's 530 in the afternoon. It's L.A. I didn't do anything. You give the long horn and the long, unbroken F you, you know, just finger out straight in front of straight in front of her face.
I wasn't I ended up it was so traffic that I ended up just getting six car lengths ahead of her without even speeding up. It was just the traffic was so slow. And it's just this thing where it's like there's a part of me that. There's a part of me that always just wants to pull up next to him and just pull a gun out and just put it back in just to get him to stop. Like, what are you doing?
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Chapter 4: How does Adam Carolla approach interactions with strangers on the road?
Your dad's situation is like Marissa. Marissa, are you surprised that Adam gave that advice to maybe have some empathy? No, I'm not surprised, but that's why I asked his opinion. Well, I'd like to know some of her history. Oh, the history. Okay.
So my father passed away from cancer two years ago, so he's not in the picture, but I can understand how he could have contributed to breaking my mother because he was a compulsive hoarder and an alcoholic. And from what I understand was the hoarding is what drove her away. But for me growing up in that environment, I didn't understand if there was anything wrong. Does that make any sense? Yeah.
By the way, compulsive hoarding and alcoholism is a horrible one-two punch. Because I get drunk and I do that where I put my keys. But I don't have... 1,700 sports pages piled up in the corner. I mean, compulsive hoarding and having shit all over your house. Got to lead in a lot of wear my sunglasses when you got a buzz going. Well, I'm looking for from Marissa.
Your mother was attracted to a guy who's an alcoholic and a hoarder. And to help put it into perspective, my dad and I were actually on the TV show Hoarders, and there was a failed attempt at cleaning up the house.
Really?
Yes.
He was featured in an episode? Yes. Brian's laughing because when I said to my mom once, how's your friend Merlene doing? Oh, she's doing great. She was just featured in an episode of Hoarders. She said it like... She like like she'd be made partner at the firm, except for featured in an episode of Hoarders. She's star. These are my mom's celebrity friends. These are these are my mom.
These I've literally said to my mom about our old neighbors. How are they doing? Two girls, the daughters, the two twin daughters. She said, well, one of them's in jail and then said the other one's not doing very well. We're worried for her. So quite a bit worse off than the one that's incarcerated. These are blonde 21-year-old girls, twins. This is who my mom chooses to chill with.
I was confused why I don't want to hang. Yeah, you think you got a rough arrest, huh? Yeah. So your mom was attracted to this person, which means her dad was probably an alcoholic, which means maybe her dad did some horrible things to her, which meant she was broken inside, much like the cunt that was behind me on the 5 freeway today.
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Chapter 5: What humorous observations are made about bodily functions?
Ass. Got it. For sure. I'm making a note. I'm told that feels all right. Well, and also the ass is is meant. I mean, you know, gay guys can have a baby, you know, or something. The point is, is the ass is meant. It's the 90s, ladies. Yes.
Chapter 6: How do the hosts react to Howard Stern's job offers?
I have something a lot wider in circumference than a swizzle stick come out of my ass probably twice a day. Right. I don't understand. Something's going on out of sizable size. Right, right. That's what I'm saying. It's meant to stretch. Take a look at your handiwork after your morning constitution and you go, all right, that's what I'm capable of. You know what I'm saying?
I wrote about that chapter in my book.
Chapter 7: What insights are shared about the impact of marijuana taxes on schools?
I know what I feel like I've been through my own childbirth. Right. I don't feel that way. You know, with urine, it's basically it's interesting because urine just will reduce itself to whatever size of the hose it's coming out of. Where is the ass? The sphincter is much more accommodating. I'm dropping a durolog. Open up. Here we go. It opens like Stargate.
Chapter 8: What are the hosts' thoughts on the upcoming boxing match between Evander Holyfield and Mitt Romney?
Thank you. That's right. It's an aperture. Howard Stern. CNN reports that Howard Stern may or may not renew his lucrative contract with Sirius XM at the end of the year, but he will apparently have plenty of other opportunities to consider. In fact, Stern said on his radio show Monday that a massive job offer recently fell into his lap.
Stern said, my agent called me with an opportunity that is so mind-blowing, like it would be the dream job of all time for me. Wow. Nobody knows what that job is. What a fortunate coincidence. Yeah. But exactly. Howard confided that he'd happily also just stay home and do absolutely nothing. Well, he always says that because it gets the price up.
And people should know as a side note, when Matt Atchity was leaving and I said, what's up with Abyss? I don't think it was that great. He said the environmental message is what sent the rating up with the with the critics. And I said, isn't that what you're making my argument now? There's an environmental message. Why is that resonating with the critics if the critics aren't in to that?
It's odd that one message resonates. He said, well, look at the time. I think my mom's calling me. All right. I'm not saying there's not room for real criticism. I'm just saying I feel like there's some points shaved when the guy says women aren't funny and it's time to review his movie. Those points find their way over to the abyss. That's right. Well, yes, there are.
If you do a movie about a certain topic, you will gain 20 points versus whatever else. Anyway. Sometimes, by the way, women make it into the Sunday company.
What?
The growlings were lousy with broads when I was there. I had all... Pretty much female teachers straight on through. I had like Cynthia Seghetti and Mindy Sterling and like all the luminaries over there when I was there. I got in front of the Groundlings right now and I just went to see a thing of a year or so ago. Many more women than men actually. Significantly more women than men. Yeah.
Well, I think probably attracted to that genre more than stand up, for instance, where you have more men in that world. But anyway. All right. So what could that thing be? And let's hope it wasn't Conan's dream job because he'll be devastated for a second time. Do you have any guesses? On what is... What the offer might be? Hosting some sort of TV show or... Hosting the Adam Carolla show.
God, I don't... I really... Sweet, sweet job. I got up way too early to venture any guesses, but we wish him well. All right. So remember the video from yesterday with that woman who lit up a cigarette on the airplane and started ranting about how the U.S. has declared war on Venezuela and nobody knew what she was talking about? So now we know who she is.
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