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Alan Carr's 'Life's a Beach'

S10 EP12: Jack Whitehall (Video Edition)

17 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What hilarious stories does Jack Whitehall share about his stag do?

4.739 - 8.545 Alan Carr

That was a really interesting pivot from the Ukraine.

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8.565 - 13.012 Jack Whitehall

It just came into my head and I remember I've always wanted to go up there.

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13.032 - 14.154 Alan Carr

I bet.

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Chapter 2: What embarrassing moments happened during Jack's cab ride?

14.174 - 20.925 Alan Carr

Well, yeah. Riding shaft.

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21.293 - 29.467 Jack Whitehall

Oh, look who we've got on board. It's Frequent Flyer. Yes. Jack White, you're back. What an honour to be asked back.

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29.607 - 31.591 Unknown

I know, I know.

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Chapter 3: How does Jack Whitehall compare traveling with kids to pre-kid holidays?

31.651 - 33.394 Unknown

We had so much fun last time.

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33.414 - 34.516 Alan Carr

It was so wonderful.

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34.636 - 37.801 Jack Whitehall

Do you know what? I just think me and you, we get on, don't we?

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Chapter 4: What struggles does Jack face when performing stand-up comedy?

38.142 - 40.426 Jack Whitehall

We do. We do. Kindred spirits. We are. And do you know what?

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Chapter 5: What unique experiences does Jack have while touring internationally?

40.446 - 50.741 Jack Whitehall

I really see you as a confident friend. So imagine my surprise when I go on the mail online and I see your stag do.

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51.903 - 52.163 Unknown

Yeah.

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52.964 - 53.365 Jack Whitehall

Yeah.

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53.505 - 55.287 Unknown

And with an Alan Carr-sized hole.

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Chapter 6: What insights does Jack share about visiting Chernobyl as a tourist?

57.61 - 71.671 Alan Carr

What the fuck? I just don't know whether we, you know, and I have quite a rowdy group of friends, would have been able to keep up with you. We wouldn't. The last time we went out was at a friend of ours' birthday party. You know?

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Chapter 7: How does Jack handle the chaos of a quick-fire question round?

73.153 - 74.554 Alan Carr

Ended up in a cab together.

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74.574 - 76.537 Jack Whitehall

Okay, right, maybe I should.

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Chapter 8: What final thoughts does Jack have about his experiences and future plans?

76.817 - 88.733 Jack Whitehall

You were right not to invite me on your stag do. But didn't you even think, come on, Alan Carr would be perfect on here. Lads, lads, lads. I like Fanny. I like drinking.

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88.893 - 105.193 Alan Carr

Fanny is a friend of mine. She was at Marlborough College with me. She's wonderful. You know, yeah, it did cross my mind. Do you know what, though? The well has slightly been poisoned. What? Because I had an experience recently. Now, we do live in a similar part of London. Yes, we do.

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105.233 - 116.95 Alan Carr

And I got a cab home the other day, and I was in the cab, and the cab driver opened the conversation by saying, oh, I had your mate in the back of this cab the other day. Every cabbie, every cabbie.

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116.97 - 118.532 Unknown

Why do they remember me?

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118.572 - 140.215 Alan Carr

Well, this one remembers you for very specific reasons. No. He was like... He was absolutely hammered in the back of his... Oh, this is life. This is life. He said he made me pull over at Notting Hill to get him a kebab. And then he ate it in the back. And he described you, and I'm not making this up just because we're on a podcast together, he referred to you as a filthy pig.

140.195 - 144.301 Unknown

You said it was all over.

144.321 - 151.533 Jack Whitehall

Oh, he's a little shit. I'm using Uber from now on. Uber let you have a kebab and they don't sell their stories.

151.693 - 158.243 Alan Carr

I think you also thought you were in an Uber because he said that when he did drop you off, you just got out of the car and he had to call you back to pay.

158.263 - 165.114 Jack Whitehall

This is career suicide. It gets worse and worse and worse. Don't. Are you making this up? I promise you I'm not making it up.

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