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Alan Carr's 'Life's a Beach'

S10 EP16: Callum Scott Howells

10 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: Who is Callum Scott Howells and what are his notable roles?

3.524 - 23.522 Alan Carr

Welcome to my travel podcast, Life's a Beach. Every week I invite a special guest to take us on a journey together to their favourite holiday destinations and to reveal their top travel tips and tales.

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26.204 - 47.402 Alan Carr

Today flying on Alan Eyre is a BAFTA-winning actor best known for his heartbreaking role of Colin in Channel 4's It's a Sin. He starred on stage in the MC in West End's Smashing Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club, Rodolfo in West End's A View from the Bridge and Romeo in Romeo and Juliet at the National Theatre.

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47.382 - 74.519 Alan Carr

And now he's back with a brand new film, Mad Fabulous, coming soon to cinemas on the 5th of June. And he joined me today to tell me all about it. Welcome on board, Callum Scott Howe! This is the final boarding call for Callum Scott Howes. This is the final boarding call for Callum Scott Howes. Callum Scott Howes is making waves again. This is the final boarding call for Callum Scott Howes.

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75.041 - 85.946 Alan Carr

Callum Scott Howes. Thank you. Oh, look who we've got on board.

Chapter 2: What travel experiences does Callum Scott Howells share?

85.966 - 88.37 Alan Carr

It's Callum Scott. How's, how you doing, Callum, love?

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88.61 - 98.063 Callum Scott Howells

I'm very good, thank you. Thank you for having me on board. You've just taken a massive watch off. I have. Is it too heavy? And now I've got like a mark there. Yes.

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98.263 - 99.425 Alan Carr

Do you ever take it off?

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100.426 - 101.428 Callum Scott Howells

No. It looks green.

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101.688 - 109.819 Alan Carr

I never take it off. If I'm going to Claire's accessories and pop on a bracelet, then boom, oh my God, it's green. That's libelous.

Chapter 3: How does Callum describe his recent film 'Mad Fabulous'?

111.422 - 113.164 Alan Carr

Love you, Claire.

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113.144 - 114.52 Callum Scott Howells

But she's closing down, no?

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115.005 - 116.421 Alan Carr

Oh, fuck it. Keep it in.

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118.966 - 126.233 Callum Scott Howells

Because I love Claire's accessories. Oh, it's great. I remember back when I was younger, I used to buy the little mini Claire's calculators. Did you ever see those?

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126.273 - 126.653 Alan Carr

No, no.

126.673 - 137.743 Callum Scott Howells

They were like little round things. They looked like a Tamagotchi. And I used to always buy those and the other stuff as well. But the calculators, I really vividly remember. Do you remember Athena?

137.763 - 139.104 Alan Carr

I bet you're too young for Athena.

Chapter 4: What are Callum's thoughts on celebrity encounters while traveling?

139.264 - 163.022 Alan Carr

What's that? Oh, here we go. Nowadays, you've got the internet to get turned on. But back, Athena was like, it was all black and white posters. And they'll be like, a hunky man holding a baby or like a woman in a bikini and you'd just be flicking through like this. Oh, really? Yeah, just flicking in Athena. And you'd get like Athena finger where your finger would just get longer and longer.

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163.282 - 174.047 Alan Carr

And it was like black and white pictures. And you'd be like this. I was like 13, 14. You'd get... You're looking at me like I'm a pervert. No, of course not.

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Chapter 5: What travel destinations are on Callum's bucket list?

174.067 - 181.105 Callum Scott Howells

Thank you. Of course not. But also, there's nothing wrong with being a little bit of a pervert. No, I love being a pervert. A healthy perversion is fine.

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181.125 - 184.714 Alan Carr

I was going to say, keeps you off the streets, keeps you on the streets.

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186.263 - 194.153 Callum Scott Howells

But my watch, I'm just going to hide it because, yeah, I'm a bit sort of like ashamed. What can that watch do? Oh, what can it do?

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194.333 - 200 Alan Carr

Can it tell you everything? Is it like to say, oh, watch, tell me when you put a cookie in or something?

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200.02 - 208.992 Callum Scott Howells

Yes, all that stuff. Yeah, like put on a 10 minute timer or whatever. But it's all for like, you know, steps and all that stuff. Sort of terrible things.

Chapter 6: How does Callum Scott Howells feel about fashion while traveling?

209.132 - 209.993 Callum Scott Howells

But, you know.

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209.973 - 221.07 Alan Carr

Because I've got two dogs now and I've realised I have lost a bit of weight because I think it's the dog, it's the walking is that they say that's better than running. Really? So you do walk the dogs?

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221.09 - 224.676 Callum Scott Howells

Look at the surprise in your eyes. You were telling me you have a dog walker.

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230.444 - 247.484 Alan Carr

That's right. That's the famous, that is the famous Athena one. Okay. The man holding the baby. And then there's the man, I can't even memorize it. It's like a vision. Oh, my God. The man's holding the tie. And then I, this is when I started fancy.

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Chapter 7: What humorous travel mishaps does Callum recount?

247.504 - 261.58 Alan Carr

There's one of Kim Basinger in these cut-off denims and a bikini on the front of an E-type Jag. And I remember going, oh, I got my finger out for that one. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

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261.6 - 262.221 Unknown

Ha, ha, ha.

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262.943 - 284.563 Alan Carr

Yes, so I'll tell you this. So I've got a problem at the minute because people do, my friends do watch this and I've got a fatberg. Right. Because someone's been putting wet wipes down my toilet. No, I don't use wet wipes because I'm a man of the people. Of course. I just use toilet paper. And so there's a massive fatberg under this house and it costs a fortune.

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285.927 - 295.991 Alan Carr

Can you just... I don't know what a fatberg is. A fatberg is like when idiots put grease down and fat. Oh, right.

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Chapter 8: What final thoughts does Callum have on travel and experiences?

296.092 - 300.821 Alan Carr

And it's congealed into a massive... Block. Block.

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300.841 - 301.201 Callum Scott Howells

Block.

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301.221 - 304.525 Alan Carr

And it's huge. Apparently there's a massive one underneath this house.

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305.005 - 305.826 Callum Scott Howells

Oh, really?

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305.846 - 325.485 Alan Carr

It's huge. It's like an iceberg. It could have taken down the Titanic. I've made that up. So it's all contributing, like the wipes and stuff will just contribute to this. They just all suck together and it gets big. You know like the Death Star in Star Wars? Yeah. It's like that. It's growing bigger and bigger and actually it's under here as we speak.

325.465 - 327.515 Callum Scott Howells

I can hear him breathing.

327.535 - 330.369 Alan Carr

It's growling. Yeah, it's growling.

331.414 - 333.163 Callum Scott Howells

We'll just be like that in a minute now.

336.535 - 344.645 Alan Carr

So, yeah, so I don't want to go down the pipes because apparently down there and then it rolls after me like we've seen that boulder in Indiana Jones.

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