Gary Sinise: ‘The Hole In The Heart Is Always There’
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Who is Gary Sinise and why is he sharing his family's story?
Welcome to All There Is. Wherever you are in the world and in your grief, I'm glad you're here. My guest today is award-winning actor and philanthropist Gary Sinise. You likely know him from CSI New York or Apollo 13 or Forrest Gump. He's also a musician, and in 2011 he established the Gary Sinise Foundation to help support and advocate for veterans. Gary's son, McKenna Anthony Sinise, who was also known as Mack, was an avid drummer and worked with Gary at the foundation. Mack was diagnosed with a rare cancer called cordoma in 2018, the same year that Gary's wife, Moira Harris, was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. After treatment, Moira went into remission and remains cancer-free, but Mack's cancer spread.
In twenty twenty three, he started working on some music he'd written in college but never finished, and over the following months those efforts became an entire album called Resurrection and Revival, featuring Mac on Harmonica with members of Gary's band, the Lieutenant Dan Band. Mac died at the beginning of twenty twenty four on January fifth, the same week his album went to press. He was just thirty-three years old. I spoke with Gary from his foundation headquarters in Nashville in April. Thank you so much for doing this. It's a pleasure to talk to you.
It is my absolute ple pleasure. How has grief been for you? It's over two years now since we lost our son. It was a very, very difficult battle where he became more and more disabled. The cancer that he had was called cordoma. It's something that is very, very rare. It it's just spine cancer. It will start in the base of the spine or the skull base, right up here at the top of the spine. And it's a tumor that grows her. It's very possible that that tumor was there when he was born. And it grew. Very, very slowly. He was diagnosed when he was twenty seven, but he was having pain in his tailbone for two or three years before that. You
were actually with your wife meeting with doctors because she had stage three breast cancer and she'd been going through chemo treatments and radiation treatments. And you asked a doctor to take a look at your son because he was having some pain in his tailbone.
I asked her spine surgeon. If he would Take a look at Mac. And he put him in the scanner and he tells me Mac has a tumor. And I'm sitting there with my wife talking about her chemo and Now Mac has a tumor. And it was very, very difficult. He had the first surgery in September of twenty eighteen and then we were told that the cancer had come back and started to spread. And grief changes as time goes on. I don't think that little phrase time heals all wounds is really appropriate because it doesn't really heal the wounds. What happens is you you just learn to manage them a little bit better as time goes on. The hole in the heart is always there, right? The missing loved one is Forever there and Mac is For both my wife and I, who's just with us every minute of the day.
Where things were very, very fresh in the beginning and it was just, you know, you co couldn't contain your emotions.
How was Mac’s rare cancer (chordoma) first diagnosed and what treatments did he undergo?
Uh now it's it's those emotions will kind of jump up and surprise you. I was in church the other day, and all of a sudden Bang. I just was picturing him sitting right next to me and and it just overwhelmed me. And that's the type of thing that happens, isn't it? We just We carry them with us always and they they jump out and surprise us every every once in a while. Do you feel Matt? Yes, yes, very very present. Because for me, I have continued to press on and do all kinds of things that are related to my son. The music that I'd sent to you, all that music is very present because I continue to work on it. So for me it's a little bit different 'cause I'm kind of living with these various projects. Every day that are related to my son.
What a incredible
blessing though to have all the videos that you have and all the music you have and have rediscovered. Can you talk a little bit about you were going through his phone? and stumble across a whole trove of recordings, messages to you, videos, I understand that he actually made
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Who is Gary Sinise and why is he sharing his family's story?
0:00–3:22
2
How was Mac’s rare cancer (chordoma) first diagnosed and what treatments did he undergo?
3:22–7:10
3
What does Gary say about how grief changes over time after losing a child?
7:10–9:57
4
How did Mac create the ‘Resurrection and Revival’ album while battling his illness?
9:57–13:11
5
What messages and recordings did Gary discover on Mac’s phone after his passing?
13:11–16:16
6
What were Mac’s thoughts about death and his final days in the ICU?
16:16–19:41
7
What lessons about grief and gratitude does Gary share for other families?
19:41–22:29
8
How does Gary keep Mac’s memory alive through music and the foundation’s work?
22:29–25:33