Chapter 1: What promotional content is shared at the beginning of the episode?
Righto, trendsetters, there's a few reasons why you get to hear my lovely voice week in and week out, and it's thanks to these guys, Tom. That's right, Pooh. Better beer, you know the drill. Get into any good bottle shop and stock up today. Knuckles and the team at CTC providing premier quality trucking caps for all the land.
SP Tools, from the worksite to the back shed, SP Tools has got you covered at the smickest price. I'm teetering on the line of being medium shitty, and that's all thanks to Papa Macros. Head to papamacros.com.au, use the code ALPHA for $30 off your first order and ALPHA10 for 10% off reoccurring orders.
Port West, workwear that's built for the roughest of the rascals and that's built to last, just like the Alpha Blokes community. Don't forget my little mate Ned's. Keep medium turd and the team sorted for any of the punting need.
And if you're interested in checking out all of our vlogs, watching and listening to the episodes ad-free and getting exclusive access to random bonus episodes, check out our Patreon at AlphaBlokesPodcast. I just want to say from the bottom of my heart, I'd like to take this chance to apologise... To absolutely nobody! The double champ does what the fuck he wants!
I need a shit, man. Die, boy!
Sneaky little rascal. Safety first. Stay focused. Keep pinging the cup. Now, remember, it's no longer Trendsetter Tuesday anymore. So on that note, welcome back to another episode of the Alpha Blokes podcast. And we are here to give the everyday battler a voice and delete head noise one laugh at a time. If you're having a beer, make it a better beer.
Jogging a can, winning a tin, the athlete's choice. Look, I'm having a halfie today, Poo. Do you know why? Why is that, mate? Because I've still got half a fucking mongrel from the Northern Territory. Well, I'm having a water today because I'm still plateaued from the Territory.
Well, look, Pooh, it's hard when you fly in and the legends there at Sand Palms just go, we've got you sorted all week with the best tugger ever. You're not going to say, excuse me, guys, can you make sure that it's under this many calories for all mine? No, mate. They don't work on calories in the Territory. No. Do they? No. They're not big calorie guys. Well, you sweat a lot, see. Yeah.
But, yeah. Yeah, no, they're like good, hearty meals. Every day we were looking forward to ā I think we had reef and beef, first one. Chicken palmies. Yep. What else did we have? Fucking some good shit. I think we ate less. Oh, we had some ā Some eye fillet, big eye fillet. Oh, eye fillet. And then pizzas. And then pizzas. With mushroom sauce.
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Chapter 2: What are the highlights from the Territory trip recap?
Oh, look. He did well. Oh, mate. I don't think it was one of those ones where you couldn't stand him. It was more of a fucking funny as. This bloke's having a great time here. Just full of lip. What about trying to get him to go back and get the old boy? And he's gone. No. Don't you pay some cunt to do that? I'm funny. Fuck off.
So you've pretty much got the rundown of where we were up to two days in. Yeah. I suppose we'll just fucking carry on from there with the last couple of days. Yeah, the Wednesday. So I think we were a fair few behind Deadass at that stage on the Barra count. 7-12. Yep. And... Pressure was on Big Shitty to get the job done. He hadn't caught one yet.
So him and Queefda went head-to-head that morning for a few minutes. But the spot we went to, as like a couple of other ones, weren't catching fuck all. Yeah. Well, too much fresh, eh? Yeah, man. Still too much water, everyone we talked to. We sort of, they just said, and it's a funny season. Obviously, there's been a cool change up there too. And there's already still so much water.
Mate, it was raining I think nearly every night. Well, it flooded there one night. Yeah, so it rained pretty much every single night as well. So it wasn't just extra fresh on the top. It was getting dumped with water every night. Lucky enough, man, it was clear during the day.
We had fucking the best time going to all these spots, looking over everything, the water buffaloes, the mobs of pigs, the dingoes, fucking got to see some cool shit. But, yeah, it was just we weren't kissed on the dick when it comes to ultimate fishing time. But we got a busy schedule. That was when we could fit it in.
Mate, that's the only time we were going to be able to go this year to try and do it. But, yeah, we caught up on that Wednesday. The old boy had a good day, catching a few fish, big shitty, finally got one, and it was a good one too compared to the sizes we were getting. Like, bro, I got probably six or seven and they were all small as fuck. Like I didn't get a photo with one.
because they weren't big enough to justify getting a photo. But your one that you finally got was decent. Yeah, he put on a good show too, a big jump, which I captured. I captured all the jump. Did you? Yeah, I watched it back. I made Quinn watch it back with me. Oh, that's good. Yeah, got him hitting it, fucking jumping and fluttering around, and then once he settled... I turned it off. Yeah.
So that's a mutually's moment for being shitty. There wasn't actually many mutually moments up there, was there? No. Everyone was well behaved and doing a good job. Me getting sunburned as fuck on the last day, bro. There's a video of me in the cold room just trying to cool down. There's a video of me I found on my phone earlier last night, Thursday, right in the AM when Pirate turned it on.
I'm in the pool at Sand Palms with Benny chirping everyone, mate, and I look like a fucking lobster, Joe. That's why you got an award for that chirp. Did I? Yeah. Nice. That's good that I got an award for that. I'll get to that. Oh, nice. Oh, so you got a list of awards. Yeah, I sent it to you, didn't you read it? Yeah, I read it a little bit. I just didn't know if you had it today. Yeah, yeah.
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Chapter 3: What makes Brett's Hole a unique destination?
Best pool player, White Rodri. Shark the table like a bloke who's definitely done it before, leaving no blind man standing. Worst fisherman, me. Croc feeding specialist, Blind Benny. Feeding crocs with zero visibility, zero fear and questionable decision making. And the Team Spirit Award goes to Tommy for the unforgettable 5am poolside lecture that no one asked for but everyone got.
Oh, fucking oath, man. And like we said, it was a draw, so the shield that the boys made, we're going to have shared custody with it. They'll bring it to the stream, they do, and the next challenge, because we'll challenge the boys in heaps of shit over the years. Yeah, we've got a shield. Yeah, so no one gets it this time. No. Which is fair enough. But, yeah, guys, it was just awesome.
I think it was good for me to fucking, I forgot about everything else for a while, you know, up there, which I think was the main important thing of that whole fucking trip is to be able to just chill out and not focus on the bullshit of life for a few days. Yeah, it was good, eh? Yeah. You know, not having service is a good thing sometimes. Yeah, I enjoyed it.
So, yeah, you'll have a vlog to feast your eyes on very fucking soon, trendsetters. Let's go. Is there anything else we forgot? Oh, mate, there probably is. Probably a fair bit. Probably a fair bit, man. We gave them the short and skinny of it, didn't we? And that's the thing, man. They copped where we were up to two days in, so I think that's a fair bit.
I don't think we missed any pubs or any legends who fucking helped us out. I don't think so. If we did, I'd fucking apologise. Now, this one's not really for our mates in the far north or the NT, but for the rest of us, it's fire pit season, Joe. Mm-hmm. Beck was actually sending me a couple of messages saying it's fucking cold at the moment. I had a bit of a snap when we were away. Freezing.
So I'm fucking pumped to start having a fire out the back again, man. Yes, sir. I'm a big fire guy. Like, I enjoy having it there, the footy on in the background, drinking a couple of tins. And... We have got some sick winter items available very soon. You know, in the next month they'll be dropping. New design. New designs, mate. We've got fucking hoodies.
Love the hoodie design this year and the colour scheme. I think it's fucking great. We've got flanny and beanies, a couple of other things. So keep your eyes and ears peeled and you'll fucking see and hear about that all soon. Yeah, it's coming. It is coming. Fucking pumped for it. Not to mention we want to smash out some campfire yarns again this winter as well.
Yeah.
So that was a big thing for us. Obviously, Alpha Fest is coming up soon. That'll be where our attention's sort of drawn to. But in the meantime, while it's cooled down, we're going to start most of the interviews over the next month or two are going to be around the campfire there at the old boys' place because, as we said, mate, that's where the best yarns are produced.
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Chapter 4: What activities are popular in the Territory?
They've got crab and, oh, bird watching. No fucking planes, turkeys there.
Oh.
A bit of bushwalking. Oh, photography. Quinn, you'd love that. Curious. Yeah, fishing, crabbing, bird watching, photography, bushwalking. How good is that about them boats? You can hire a boat, whatever you want to do. Yeah. Two swimming pools.
Chapter 5: What makes a Moochley Meal?
One was nicer than the other. Yeah. Go there. Tell me which one you think is better. Yeah. I'll let you know if you're right or not. No, we'd highly recommend it. I fucking love it. Now, boys, I've got a bit of pub ammo here for you, and this is the don't panic if your chook looks half dead edition. Right. So there's one for my fellow chookmen.
Now, I'm only a beginner on the chook front, so I'm learning as we go.
Chapter 6: How do hot sauces impact the taste experience?
I haven't really gone through many seasons with the girls, so I don't really know much about chooks firsthand. Like Dad had them as a kid, but I didn't fucking pay any attention, you know. So I thought one of me girls was on the way out this week, I got home and I saw these feathers over the yard and I thought, fuck.
And then I saw one of me chooks and it fucking bit ugly looking, scruffy in the arse and feathers. There was only a couple of them there. And I was straight up the dog. I said, Beck, has Mitzi been fucking, you know, swinging off this chook's arse? No. No, she was standing up for Mitzi proper. But, yeah, it looks like she'd been fucking through a brawl and backed up over a lawnmower.
Turns out totally normal, eh, boys? Did some research. Chat GPT and sussing out what it could be. And chooks go through something called a molt. So usually once a year when the seasons change and daylight hours drop, pretty common heading into the cooler months in Oz, which is fucking now.
Chapter 7: What are the highlights of the upcoming UFC Fight Night?
Mm-hmm. Um, they basically drop old feathers and grow brand new ones. And while it's happening, they look absolutely rooted, mate. So tail feathers fall out first. Most of the time you'll find fluffy feathers through the coop. In this case, free ranging around the yard a bit. Uh, egg production can slow right down and completely stop. Ooh.
Found out why too, because they need protein to fucking grow the feathers back. So they don't have enough to put into the eggs. Right. Um, But, yeah, the wild part, though, the new feathers grow back and look like these spiky little pin feathers. So I went and grabbed it and felled over it and she's a little spiky and I'm going, what the fuck is going on?
Maybe you should get some protein powder for your chops. Well, bro, I've fucking had a few leftover Cheerios yesterday from the kids. Plenty of protein, mate. Plenty of protein in Cheerios, you reckon? Well, you'd think so. Can we get some stats on Cheerios real quick? And the protein in them. Do you call them Cheerios? Yeah, I call them Cheerios. Yeah, mate. Good boy.
And then Frankforts are like the longer ones. Yeah, mate. They're not little boys. Nah, that's cool. Stay away from little boys. Protein content. I just want to see if I've done right there. I'm going to assume it's not. But their body basically goes, sorry, the eggs can wait. We're rebuilding a haircut. 12 to 15 grams per 100 grams. Yeah. These small pre-cooked beef or pork sausages.
High-fat snack commonly found in Australia and New Zealand. See, there you go. There's enough protein there, 12 to 15 grams of protein. A bit of energy. Oh, mate. A lot of sodium. Chooks love energy, mate. 1,000 milligrams of sodium. I don't know if that's a lot or not. Now chalkmen, it's not always going to be that. Like I crossed over a few things.
I went around and checked for mites because mites can be a thing. Oh, you got mites. No, I don't. I made sure there wasn't mites. I didn't want to just rest on me laurels, right. I got right in there. No mites, Joe. But, yeah, it was like it honestly looked like that chalk went on a three-day bender with knuckles. Jesus, that's fucking insane. Well, that's what I mean, man. I was fucking worried.
So anyway, all me chookmen out there, if your fucking chook's looking a bit raggedy at the moment, they might be fucking getting into their work, molting. So there you go, boys. Thanks, mate. No worries, mate. Thank you. Appreciate it. Yeah, because there might have been one or two blokes a bit worried about their chalk. Now they're not. No. They're not now. They're no longer worried.
They know they won't be making a fucking stock whip, though, either. No. That's right, poo. Have an omelette, cunt, without your stock whip. Thanks. Yeah. No stock whip. Out of you to chalk. Now, have you got... Some dump finds, mate. We've hit Pep a bit early. Now, Pep might have been a bit off guard. I've got dumpies, Joe. But I've got a little video of Pep putting some dumpies to work too.
Yeah, nice. Jeez, he's getting better every week. He doesn't miss. He doesn't. He put Curious in his place last week. No, dump finds, Joe, not Purge Reviews. Righto, fuckhead. That was mean. Can you go to the video? You should have told me to put that first. Here we go. Should have told him. I'll leave. Just smoking. That lawnmower is just foggy. Can we look at that again?
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