Show notes
From Anxiety to Confidence Let's Make the Shift Together Let's get real for a minute. Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach at the thought of speaking up in front of a group—even if it's just a handful of people? You're not alone. I've been there too. I've felt that dread, the sweaty palms, the shaky voice. But here's the good news: it doesn't have to stay that way. In this episode, I'm going to share my own story—how I went from terrified to totally at ease, speaking to not just a few people but hundreds. And I'll let you in on a little secret: it didn't take a complicated process or years of effort. It was a simple, powerful shift. What We'll Dive Into: The magic of visualization—how imagining your success as if it's already happening can calm your fear and build real confidence. Fueling confidence with your passion and curiosity—because when you care about what you're saying, everything changes. Why simplicity is the ultimate tool—you don't need tricks or hype, just a new way to see yourself. Here's Your Challenge: There's a process in this episode too You will take a moment—just a few minutes. Close your eyes and picture yourself succeeding. Imagine standing there, calm, collected, and confident. Feel it. Step into that version of you and notice how good it feels. Practice it. Let it sink in. If you know someone who needs a little nudge to find their confidence—share this episode. You never know who might need to hear it. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/422-a-simple-process-to-overcome-fear-and-anxiety Let's keep shining brightly, Paul Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others from Pixabay. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So how did I change from being terrified about speaking to more than two or three people to be anxious to be uncomfortable having my stomach chant, my mind racing, being so so scared anxious to being able to talk in front of more than a hundred hundred of people. A hundred of people and enjoying the process. Speaking metaphors for telling metaphors and doing processes demonstration with people. How did I get from that to that? And guess what? It's really easy and it's simple. Come with me. So we call this personal development unplug podcast from anxiety to confidence. And I thought I'd just give you a little taste of how I used to be and how there's a simple way I was taught to master anxiety and fear and it's mastering it in a way that you let it go. It's no longer needed. You see in the early days of my NLP trainings and I spelled days with a zed because it was Daisy. I was in the days neuro linguistic programming learning wonderful sets of skills and processes to help other people make changes and changes in myself. And the thing is I used to hate giving small talks in those trainings there may be only two or three people there and I had to explain something and I hated the bloody thing asking questions because it was quite a big group, There was about 30 odd people in that particular class and stick your hand up and ask a question because you didn't understand something. I hated it. I was in fact I was pretty terrified. My heart used to be thinking what the hell am I doing here? I'm not meant to be here. What was I thinking about? Because this is frightening and it shouldn't be frightening. I'm trying to learn something and yet I'm frightened. And I'd slink my way to the back and it was pretty easy when there 30 od people you can slink your way to the back. And I'd get smaller and smaller and smaller, slide down into my chair and I would ask myself how could I learn this stuff when I'm so anxious? And it's a sort or positive question isn't it? Because my stomach was churning, my mind was racing, I was hot, I was uncomfortable. It was a nightmare. It was and I say was was a nightmare back then. It was really a nightmare. I'll tell you in a minute how that changed. But the thing is that was way back then, since then, since Then I have amazed myself when I look back now. You see, I started to help people, but then I got into training, training other people, training people to become therapists, training people to become, practitioners and master practitioners of NLP. With my son Joseph, we did NLP trainings, hypnosis, trainees, teaching people to be master hyp, hypnotists, all this stuff. And I was standing in front of maybe 20 people. And then it developed even more because since then I've sat on the end of a stage and I used to hate bloody stages. If it was a six inch stage, I, didn't like it, didn't like standing up in front of people. But since then I've sat on tall stages, just sat on the edge, got off my chair, which was on the stage, come down and sat on the edge of the stage and told stories, told stories, done demonstrations up on that big stage, just me and one other person, answer questions. Trained all Those practitioners in NLP, timeline therapy, hypnosis to well over 100 people at a time. Now compare that to me not even speaking to one or two people. I could do one, but even then I got a bit flustered. But more than two, three, I was you. That stomach churning and the mind racing heart and uncomfortable. I love it now. I loved every minute, you know, just being able to talk about lovely metaphors about my dog Howie. Howie used to go for walks and the things we learned on those walks and how Howie would talk about various things because he was the best dog in the world by the way. And if you go, I don't know if I think you might be able to search Howie in something like KST box and he might come up because I told a metaphor about, oh, I've recorded a metaphor about that. The metaphor I used to tell on that stage. And the thing is, I enjoyed it because I was me, I was comfortable and people got it and they were comfortable for me. Amazing, isn't it? So what changed? How did I change? Well, one thing, I think it was a prerequisite. It, was I was passionate about learning, learning NLP, learning hypnosis, learning how to help others and myself. It was so important to me. It. I spent time learning my craft, learning my skills, mastering didn't do everything to start off with. I, mastered my skills. I did what I knew and knew what I did, and then I expanded what I knew and then I did what I knew. But it was like my why. I'd found my why without going through all the, the bits and pieces we talk about. Here. Because sometimes we need to do the bits and pieces to find out why. The why. It's important to me, but I just knew it in my heart. What was. This was something I really wanted to do, ended up doing it for. Well, I've ended up doing it. I haven't finished yet. For over 25 years doing this stuff. I mean, if you think about what's the point of doing stuff that's not important to you and learning stuff that's not important to you? But the thing is, here's the thing. You have that thing that. Why that motivation, the passion. That's one thing. You can have a little bit of passion, even only the passion to learn about something. Maybe it's a passion to connect with people. It doesn't have to be the stuff you're learning, like me, could be just a passion to be able to communicate, to, able to connect anything that you're passionate about. It's all you need that little bit of passion. But the thing is, the how is even more simpler than you can expect. It really was. There was no major processes. There was no anybody hypnotizing. Did a lot of hypnosis on myself and with other people. But that wasn't the change. There was no big paradigm shift. No, but it wasn't. It was so simple. So simple. You see, what happened was. And it was back in. Right in the early days of the NLP training, there was a guy there who I got on quite well with. We would sit and have a cup of coffee sometimes and do that. And I was pretty amazed by him because he was, although he wasn't, a, train in NLP, he was actually a practitioner like me, learning the NLP. But he actually did a lot of talking to groups, standing on stages. And he said, as we're talking, said, oh, I really love it, Paul. I really enjoy getting on a stage and talking to people. Oh, it's so good. And me in my little brain going, you're absolutely bloody joking. In fact, I swore a lot more than that, so that would petrify me. And I told him about being terrified of talking to two or three people. I said, I'm comfortable with you because I like you and, you know, you seem friendly. But more than that, I just. It really does get me. I want to change. I do want to change because I want to be able to participate in these training even more. I just said, how did you do it? How did you do it? You know, what was that complicated thing you did? Do you have to get into this, this speaker state where you come out and you're speaking this way and you have to get pumped up and you have to do this. And he go, what are you talking about, Cloughie? Because people call me Cloughie those days as well. Are you talking about Clovy? No, no's not a speaking state. It's not a pumped up state. Because that's not you certainly's not me. I don't speak pumped up. And if I do get excited, it's because I'm passionate and I'm excited, not because I make myself excited, because I'm just comfortable in expressing the way I want. So I said, how'the bloody hell do did you do it if you didn't get. Don't get pumped up. And you weren't taught it? She said, well, it's so simple. And I said before, in simplicity there's genius. He said, it's so simple. I'm on stage waiting to talk. Maybe I'm in the sidelines or maybe'm there's three or four people, we're all going to talk on the stage and we're all sitting on the stage and that all of a sudden I got those, that anxiety again, thinking, because I've done it before where I've had to introduce myself and I'm fifth out of 15 people. And I'm looking at, each one, I'm going, oh, don't forget your name, Paul. Please don't forget your name. Don't forget your name, Paul. I'm telling myself to forget my bloody name. And when I got, I said, I can't remember who I am, thank you. Boom. It petrified me so. Said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just to put that picture out of your mind. He said, this is what I do. I'm sitting there and you see, I picture myself. I imagine myself out in the front of that stage before I get there. So I'm sitting there and I'm looking at this like holograph picture of myself. I'm imagining myself out there chatting away to all the people. And it doesn't matter what size a crowd. Maybe I'm only talking to four people, five people, maybe I'm talking to 500 people. Doesn't matter the size of the crowd here. You got all these wonderful little gimmicks you could do. But he said, it doesn't matter. I just see myself over there doing it, enjoying myself. And then I just walk out into that spot where I was, I imagined myself and I catch myself up. That's what I do. Catch myself up. It's a little bit like suddenly I'm acting as if I was already there. So it is in simplicity, there is genius. It really is in simplicity, there is genius. Imagine yourself doing something exactly the way you want it to happen There you go. We've had two of those now. So if you think about it, what was I doing? And I'm sure you'do it too. If you had my. If you had that fear. If you have that fear. This is what we do, didn't we? This is what I used to do in the past. I would see myself not doing it as he was doing it, but I would see myself stuttering, faltering, getting embarrassed, and effectively failing, falling on my assse. And I'd feel all of it altogether. And guess what would happen. Yeah, it would not happen as bad as that. ###us it never happens as bad as we can imagine it. We always imagine the worse, the worst, the worse. But it wasn't pleasant, it wasn't good. I didn't enjoy it. So, of course, the next time I was thinking about it, I made the bloody pictures worse. That's what we did. And the thing is, because what you think about most of all is what you get, whether you like it or not. That's what you get. So, of course, if in the past, when I was thinking about stuttering, faltering, getting embarrassed, failing, I was thinking about it really passionately, reallyot emotions were racking up in there, and I said my stomach was churning, everything like that because the emotions were so high, my unconscious mind was going, oh, that's what you want. Because what you think about most of the time and feel is what you get, whether you like it or not. As if your unconscious mind says, if you get emotional about something, I think that's what you want. That's weird, isn't it? But that's a wonderful weird. A wonderful weird. How can that be so wonderful, Cloughie? How can it be so wonderful? It. Because that bloody process works, doesn't it? It just works. So let's put it in reverse. We do it so many times here on the personal development unplug. Let's just think. What is it? I want to be doing well. I want to be able to be comfortable. I want to be confident, not overonfident. I want to be comfortably confident in myself. Being aware of other people, becoming aware of the things I know, the things I want to explain, or maybe the things I want to connect with all that stuff. That's how I wa want to be and then just imagine yourself out there doing it. That's all you have to imagine yourself out there doing it. A little hologram of yourself doing it exactly the way you want it to do. Want it to be, rather. That's all you do. And as you do that, because we know in a moment, if we were to flow out into that me over there doing the stuff that we want to do exactly the way we want to do it, not the way we didn't want to do it, the way we do want to do it, the way we do want to be. And we float out there, we float into our body. We see what we saw, we hear what we heard we would hear. And we feel those feelings of doing it just away, just the way we want it to happen. We're trying it on, aren't we? We're trying it on. And if it doesn't feel quite as good as we want it, we can make it even better. Because it's just our bloody imagination. We're just imagining it the way we want it. And guess what? You get that good feeling. And, because it's that feeling, it's that feeling that your unconscious mind goes, oh, is this the way you want it then? Oh, bloody hell, that's what we'll do. And you get that feeling and guess what? Then you start to act as if. Act as if the way you imagined it. Because when you act as if you get those feelings again and your unconscious mind goes, yeah, we're back at it, come on. And it just happens. Just happen. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Have a thing, if it's okay with you right now, what would happen if we just did a very quick one, just to get the process into a mind so you can do it whenever you want to do it. Maybe I'll do, a little recording to do it separately, to put it in the hypnosis tracks and the process tracks I do on that other website, poolclothonline.com podcast, that's where they are. Think about what you would like to do better than you're doing already But before we go to that type of depth, let's just think. Is there something that you would like to do better than you're doing already? Just a little thing at the moment. Think of it the way you, you know, what you don't like. How would you like to be? Just if you think about it now, don't think about what you don't want. Think about what you do want. And, when you think about what you do want, think about how you want to be, how younna move, how younna breathe, how you wanna Use your facial expressions, how younna move your body, how you want to. Your tone of voice, maybe a smile, the glint in your eyes. The way you can focus. The way you can just access all the information inside you that younna share. And as you do that, just imagine now making sure, by the way, just before we do this, making sure you haven't got nothing else to do. By the way, you're not driving and all that bloody rubbish. It's not rubbish. You're not doing anything that needs your attention. That's what I'm trying to say. So if it's okay with you and no one needs your attention, it's perfectly, perfectly safe to do this. Because you might be better closing your eyes. It's a lot easier. Less distractions. So you've got to be able to close your eyes on this. If it's okay with you. If it's not, just pause for a moment. When you come back, just press play and we'do it. Close your eyes and imagine yourself performing just the way you want to perform But close your eyes. And as you close your eyes, just imagine yourself over there in front of you. Sometimes I do it like if I was on a stage down below me and in front of me so I'm looking down upon it because it's nice to get that meta view, that different perspective and see yourself doing just that bloody thing that you want to do just the way you want to do it. See yourself like performing in the way that you want to perform. Acting, not play acting but being, behaving just the way you want to be. Communicating just the way you want to be. Connecting just the way you want to connect. And when you think you've got it just about writing, don't be perfect. We've talked about perfect before. It's not going to be perfect because you're going to learn from this when it's about just as the way you want it. And just remember if you's not seeing this in 2020 vision F looking good because not everyone does that. It can be even a sense you're aware that you're doing it doesn't matter. Anything from a sense and awareness to 2020 vision is perfect in this because there's no perfect. And then just flo imagine floating out of where you are now into that you out on that stage and doing it exactly the way you are imagining it now with that tone of voice, that expression, that glint in your eyes, that smile moving your body, breathing. The way being able to articulate, connect, share your whatever you're sharing and notice how good it feels. And when you notice how good it feels. Ramp that feeling up. Just imagine you could just turn it up, make it more intense so you can really feel it, really feel it. Maybe you just want to anchor it. Remember that finger and thumb. Use a different finger, but a finger and thumb just anchor this feeling. So when you think about it in the future, you can just fire that anchor off. When you get to go to do it in real life, you can just fire that anchor off, but you can remember this. Just ask your unconscious mind to remember this. Come back into your body now. Because you've always got to come back in our body. open your eyes. Just imagine in the future, the next time you go to do this, you're gonna be that way. You're gonna act as if. I'm talk a lot more about acting as if. Because it's such a great thing to do. You act as if you've got it already. Because when you act as if you've got it already, guess what? You've got the bloody thing already. Because you have. You've imagined it. It's all your. This is all you. You're not making it up from anybody else. This is you, the way you want it, with all your skills, your, your beliefs, your behavurss and emotions and skills. This is just you. All you're doing is we're learning how to access all those skills you've already got and put them in place of that other way. And this is the only one way, by the way. This is only one way. And if you want, I'll take you through some others in another episode. And if you want, if there's a scenario, a context, as it were, that you feel you'd like a little bit more help with so we could really get another deeper dive and do a really detailed little bit of a process maybe seeing this type of thing. Let me guide you through it to share with with you what I know. Let me know feedback@personalde developmentment unplugged.com do. That's my email address. I'm the only bugger here, by the way. It's quite lonely. That's sad, isn't it? But send me that email saying, hey Cluy, this is the type of scenario I'm looking at. I'm working on one from a listener, very soon, just waiting back for a little bit of information. They've reached out and I'm gonna do something for them. They know who they are. That's a little reminder to them to send me that more information. But so easy to do. Just send me that email. Feedback. At personale development unplugged.comt we may come up with a brand new process, a process that's never been invented and used before. We may do always. I just get into my little bag of tricks and find out a process that just is so appropriate and we'll tailor it to meet your needs. Because I never use a process over and over again. It's that same process, but developed, and molded to the needs of the client. The needs of you to do that. Do email me. I'll repeat it again. [email protected] I hope you really enjoyed this. I hope you like that process, because it just bloody works. And it's amazing how simple it is. And don't be fooled by how simple takes a bit of effort and you have to do it, but it isn't difficult. The only difficult thing, if there is any thing, is just getting off your ass and doing it. And that's, you know, if it's important to you, just as that was for me, you will do it. Just ramp up the passion, ramp up your interest, ramp up your curiosity, and just go do it. And I do as I say every time. I do hope I've articulated this way I was and the way I am and how I did it in a way that you can repeat it too. Because that's what NLP is all about. Being able to replicate the things that we do in life, to be able to share it with other people so they can do the same thing and manipulate. Manipulate it to. Yeah, manipulate, but to mold it into their own, way. That's what I want to do for you. I don't want to keep doing it. If you have any issues that you'd like to discuss, So again, if you have any issues that you'd like to, to for me to discuss, dive into, develop whatever it is. Same email address. Everything's synonymous. There you go. If you would be so kind. I ask this every time and I don't. Do you do it? I don't know. I know I share a lot of podcasts. If I hear something that's good, I'm gonna share it. please do share it with everyone. You know, it'd be really kind. and they get to live a better life too. you may be the difference that makes a difference when you share. that would be awesome. Wouldn't to know that selfless service giving without one of anything in return. that would be awesome. There you go. Do that I say. Trip over that. Subs subscribe button while you're having more fun than you can stand. Okay? So do that. Have more fun you can stand. Wallow in happiness and joy and fly. Because it's time to fly. I'll be with you next time. Bye. Bye. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. #OvercomingFear #BoostConfidence #VisualizationTechnique #AnxietyRelief #PersonalGrowth #SimpleShifts Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]