Show notes
Why You Don't Succeed and How To Why do so many people fail to succeed while others break through and create the life they dream of? In this episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast, I dive into four powerful questions that can change how you think about success, failure, and the choices you make every day. Are you just settling? Trying to move mountains? Wishing life was easy? Or constantly struggling? Here's the thing — success isn't about either/or. It's about this AND that. It's about striving, celebrating the plateaus, reviewing your values, and then springboarding forward with even more clarity and energy. You'll discover: Why settling keeps you stuck in the "I wish I had" syndrome How moving mountains without balance makes you lose what you value most The secret power of the plateau and why it's not failure but fuel How to build harmony (not balance) into your journey to success The five keys to success that pull it all together If you've ever felt stuck, stalled, or doubted yourself on the way to your goals, this episode is for you. By the end, you'll know how to pause, review, and reignite your path — and you'll be ready to step into the top few percent who actually succeed. Listen now, share with a friend who needs this, and let's make success inevitable. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/459-why-you-dont-succeed-and-how-to Oh! And if you want to see the video recording as well here's the link https://youtu.be/CyYemcp5nJw Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, , Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Good day, good morning, good afternoon, and any of all that stuff. Why don't you achieve success? Do you know what? I'm going to go straight into this with two, three, maybe four questions and see if they resonate with you. Here's the first one. Are you simply just settling for what you have? You know, that settle for what you've got. It's that balance. And you know what I think about balance. It's shit. But never mind. Just see if that sort of resonates with you. Are you just settling for what you have? Or, are you moving mountains to get what you want? Are you moving mountains to get your dreams, your goals? Do you really put every effort in? Do you see every moment of the day what you're looking for, the smell of success, and you're going for it every hour of the day? Now those two questions I heard from a guy called Alex Horowitz. I think that's how you pronounce his name. Superb, lovely guy, lovely guy. Loves his questions and questioning himself and human behaviour. Here's your third question. Similar vein, similar vein. Do you want it easy? Do you want it easy? That's life that is. No stress, no worry, no effort. You're just gonna be happy. This is what life's about. Doing nothing with no stress, no worry, no push, no pull. Imagine what that looks like. You know, dream on. Because that's all you'll be doing. But we'll get into that, we'll get into that. Or, do you want to struggle? Do you want to struggle? Do you want to fight? Do you want to fight for your dreams? Do you want to fight for what you want? What you haven't got yet? What you're going for? Now what does that look like when you're really fighting every moment of the day for what you want in life? Now those two came from Simon Sinek, another great guy. Another guy who poses great questions. And I heard both of those because give credit where it's really due. A guy called Chris from Modern Wisdom, the Modern Wisdom podcast. He has brilliant guests who ask brilliant questions. And they spurred me on because I thought to myself, you know, why don't you achieve success? Because you've got these four different ways. You can simply just settle for what you've got. Or you can move mountains. Or you can just have it easy, set the bar low. Or you can struggle, set the bar really high. The thing is, some may say that you don't even have a choice. But you do. Because you choose from any one of those four, don't you? Because one of those four will probably fit the way you strive to get your goals. Or you strive and don't get your goals. Because if you're just settling, or you just want it easy, dreaming on, it's a bit like The Law of Attraction, The Secret, where people watch that bloody film 100 times and said, I've seen this film so many times, but nothing is happening. Yeah, because you haven't got a few hours. You have to do it as well. But you've got, everyone has a choice. Even though, even if we choose to do nothing, it's a choice. You see, if you're just going to settle for something and want it easy, you would forget that effort reaps its rewards. Until it doesn't. If there's no effort, you ain't going to get any rewards. Unless you're blooming lucky and someone gives you something, and then you don't deserve it really, do you? And the thing is when you put no effort in, you just dream on. Dreaming is good by the way, but just doing nothing towards it. You get that line of boredom, that line of balance of your life, which you know what I think about. And then you get a syndrome. And what's that syndrome, Cluffy? I'm going to bloody tell you what that syndrome is. It is the syndrome of, I'd wish I'd. Oh, if only I'd. Yeah, if only I'd syndrome or I wish I'd syndrome. Because that's when we do, or that's what we do. We look back at what we could have done, what we should have done. And do you know what? All we get is regret, sadness. And then we go, oh, well, you know, it wasn't my fault. The world was against me. And that's bollocks. Excuse me, I just left myself there, but I don't care. But there is a place for it in success. And going for your dreams, really? There's a place for that settling and just dreaming and being at peace and calm. There bloody well is, but I'm not going to tell you just yet. I'm going to tell you in a minute. You see, when we try to move mountains, and you're living in that bloody struggle, and you're putting every bit of effort, every sinew, every bit of energy you have, and you're absolutely knackered, you're tired out, but you still keep striving, you're pushing on, you're pushing on. We talked about this before. Things sometimes work out. And sometimes you get exactly what you want. You got your dream, but you left so many things behind. Other things you valued. Because we talk about, you, we have a clash of values. What we don't consider when we're really pushing for those goals is what we may lose. We think about what we're going to gain. Oh, I'm going to gain this and this and this. But you forget what you may lose, what you are trading off for to get this goal. And that's a question, again, that no one asks until they look back and it's too late. And then you get that bloody syndrome again. What syndrome? I wish I'd, if only I'd. And that's what you think. And neither of those are good. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, here's the but. And there is a but sometimes. What happens is when you plan your goals properly, you strive for them. Yes, you have to move mountains occasionally. You have to put effort in, but you have to check your values. You check, making sure that you're happy with what you're going to lose. Or you mitigate it and you've mitigated it and you get, well, okay, I'm not going to push this hard and that hard, but I'm going to make sure I keep my family in direct. I'm going to get my health going as well. I've got to do this. I've got to get things in harmony. Remember harmony, not balance. They're in harmony, which will create a sort of balance. But inevitably, inevitably, it always happens. You get this sharp rise of success, movement, motivation. I'm really going for it. Things are happening. And then something happens. You think, actually, it's not going as fast as it was. It seems to be standing still. And then you ask the inevitable question, am I going backwards? And you're not, by the way. You think, this is disaster. You think I've failed because I'm no longer moving forward. I'm stuck. I'm here to tell you, you're not. Trust me, you're not because you've come to the inevitable plateau. You see, this is the time to settle. And this is the difference by moving mountains and settling, keeping your energy going. Because what happens is you have to integrate all the things you've learned, the movement you've made, the successes you've got, where you are. And what happens is, it's as if we do stop growing, but the curve is still going up. And then it just stops for a little while. But when you know this is happening, celebrate, celebrate. Why the hell would you celebrate? Because you know, in a very short while, you're going to use this as a springboard and it's going to zoom off again. Because that's what's going to happen. So when you get this inevitable plateau, take some time out, breathe. Maybe think about your dream. Time to review. What have I learned? Look forward to it. And as you review where you've been, how far you've come, how close you are to what you're looking for, have you addressed all those values? Have you mitigated all those clashes of values? Are you sure you've got this harmony going? And then you look towards what you're looking for. Well, that's where you look, but look towards your goal, your dream, your project, whatever you're doing. And you get that picture. You've got the big picture, what gives you that wonderful feeling of the wish fulfilled. And you go, yeah, I'm still here. And you're getting energy now, you're energising yourself. Before you start to move mountains again, and you strive. And it's not a struggle. That's the thing, because you're striving with that feeling of the wish fulfilled, because you're fulfilling a plan now. That big picture, let's say that again, that big picture. But you're looking at the smaller steps with the feeling of the wish fulfilled, the feeling of I've got it already. And this feeling is going to maintain all my energy all the way through. And guess what? There'll be another plateau. And you're going to think, oh, I'm stuck again. But now you know, you can celebrate, sit back just for a moment or two, review, knowing that this is time that your mind, your unconscious mind, your body is just integrating everything that you've done. And the thing about those four questions, think about what I just said, by the way. It's important. Because I'm going to rattle on. But let's go back to those four questions, moving mountains, settling for, do you want to struggle? Would you want it easy? It's not all. They're not this or that. And never ever think of, I have to do this or that. It's this and that. Because this and that makes the whole. One side never does it. There's always two sides to everything. In fact, there's three sides. The other one is the truth. But when you get to that truth bit, you know you're going to be whole. And the thing is about, there's a presupposition NLP. Talked about presuppositions before. What are they? Well, they're just useful assumptions, aren't they? But this useful assumption is, and it's a fucking brilliant one. Every process should produce wholeness. And that wholeness is what brings us satisfaction, brings us joy, brings us bliss, brings us into that ah-ha state. And that's what we're doing here. So it's not this or that. It's this and that and the pause. And all of that, if you notice, is within the five keys to success. I've banged on about that so many times. But the thing is, that's what people forget to tell you. By the way, you can find the five keys to success in about three or four different episodes and hypnosis track. Where do you get that from? ballcluffonline.com.com. All there. The thing is, no one tells you this. No one. But someone told me this. They told me this in my very first training. When I was training to be a master hypnotist. They told me, you're going to learn so much so quickly, and then you're going to plateau. And when you plateau, fucking celebrate. Well, he didn't swear, not like me. But fucking celebrate, knowing that you've got to a point where you're going to suddenly use it as a springboard to move on. So don't stop. Don't even think about giving up. Think about giving more when the time is right. It's time to reassess your goal. Reassess where you are. Review, notice where you're going. What else do you what have you learned? How can you use that learning? Get some bloody decent questions going and think about it. Because the thing is, when you get this into your neurology, I was going to say into your noggin or whatever, but you know, that's condescending. I didn't mean to be like that. What I'm saying is, when we, because I had to get it too, when we get this, and we understand the plateau, and we understand the need for harmony, and we now understand everything about this, it means we are now in the top percentile of success, people who create success, because all the other fuckers, they give up. And we're celebrating, getting ready to go again. So in some ways, old Mr. Cynic and Mr. Horowitz, they were both right, weren't they? But they're both right. But who cares? And I'm really pleased that two men of who I regard as having really good thinking brains, sort of had it. But they spurred me on to think of how you connect it. Because if you just connect that, that pause, that plateau, it's not or, it's and. I hope, because I always hope this, don't I? That I conveyed this in a way that is articulate. Don't think it probably was, but it hopefully was a bit articulate. It was meaningful, understandable, and motivates you to look for that plateau. And keep striving until you get there. And then use it to strive even more. Because you are going to be in that top few percent of people who succeed in life. And you're going to be the example that you can show others that it's all possible. Not giving up, moving on, waiting, reassessing, reviewing, all that stuff. Now, even having said all of that, you may say, hey Cluffy, I understand it. You made perfect sense. You took what these two guys said, and you've put it together in such a wonderful way. But you may think that, or something similar. But then you go, but when I'm on that plateau, I really need some help. I need some help on how to review, how to pause, how to, you know, regroup as it were. Well, if you do, buddy, email me. I've told you so many thousand times before. Please email me, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Very few people do, and you should. Ask me a question. Because the people who have, have always got so much value. They've got answers to the questions. They've got not a person, it was sort of a personal episode, that just doesn't come out with their name on it. But they know that episode was written for them. And everyone else got the benefit of it. And it does me the great thing of making me think that you're doing me a favour. You're doing me a favour. So thanks for that. Anyway, you go get on now. You go strive and think of every time you think, well, it's either this or that. You go, bollocks. Cluffy said it's and. Where's the and in this? And share. And share. Share this episode to everyone you can think of, because they all need to know it, don't they? Have fun. And if you enjoy the video, I would love to know, because it takes a bit of a time to do this, and I'm not very good at it. But if you want more videos like this, as opposed to just the audio, let me know. Thank you so much. Enjoy, because it's time to fly. Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. 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