Show notes
Who or What Is To Blame For Your Failure What are you blaming right now? The weather? The economy? Your lack of time? Your past? Your boss? Your parents? In this Five Minute Quickie (that's never quite five minutes 😄), I'm planting a seed that might feel a little uncomfortable… Because blame feels justified. It feels intelligent. It feels protective. It even feels responsible sometimes. But what if it's actually costing you your power? In this episode I begin to unpack: The hidden cost of living at the effect side of life Why excuses can feel like safety How trauma (big T or little t) can become an identity Why dragging the past forward drains your energy And how learning — not reliving — is the real shift This isn't about dismissing your experience. It's about transforming it. In the longer episode, we'll go deep into: Letting go of blame (without diving back into trauma) Releasing anger, guilt, disappointment and resentment Healing the "parent story" Clearing unresolved emotional ties Moving fully to the cause side of life Because when you stop blaming… You start choosing. And when you start choosing? Everything changes. The Seed Question If nothing outside you was to blame… What would you do next? If this hits home, share it with someone who might be quietly carrying resentment or excuses around like heavy luggage. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq528-who-or-what-is-to-blame-for-your-failure And make sure you join me for the deeper dive — because we're not analysing the past… We're releasing it. Subscribe, follow, and visit the free hypnosis page at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. More fun than you can stand. Wallow in pleasure. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Welcome to the seed of a longer podcast, the FMQ, the five minute quickie that lasts even longer now, and gives you hopefully something to think about, something to ponder, digest, let it germinate and do whatever it does, so when you come to the longer podcast, boom, we can go even deeper and make some wonderful changes in our life. And this one's called, and I'm not quite sure what it's called actually, it's either Who Do You Blame? or Who or What's to Blame? You see, some people like to blame the weather for the things they can't do. Some people like to blame the economic environment. Some people like to blame, well, time, I haven't got enough time. And that's just a fact, isn't it? Living at the effect side of life. And they're all wonderful reasons, aren't they? Are they balls? They're not reasons. They're not reasons at all. They're bloody excuses. And we're going to dive deeply into that on the longer podcast. But we're also going to dive into something I think is even more important. Because everyone talks about cause and effect, living at the cause side, or living at the effect, living at the effect with all those excuses, or coming back to cause and becoming empowered. And we do that here. Because I believe in that 100%. Once you start living at the cause side of life, you take control. Everything is your responsibility. And with that comes all the glory. And the glory is just living the life you want to choose because you chose it, and you did it. But then again, what else can you blame? Well, we've all suffered trauma, haven't we? Some with a capital T, and some with a little t. I think I've maybe had a little t when I was younger, a big T in the middle. And now I don't know what the bloody hell I've got. And maybe you think you haven't had any trauma. Maybe you think you know that you've got trauma in your life, and you're still blaming it for what's happening into your life right now. And if I hadn't suffered it back then, and if those people hadn't been there back then, well, that's something we can really dive into to let go. Because it's draining. Drains all your energy dragging that crap around. But if you might think, well, actually, I don't think I've got any trauma in my life. Well, I think if that's the case, you created strategies to cope and also have the learnings from it. You've learned from it. So that trauma no longer exists in your life. It might be a distant memory. It was bad back then. But because you've learned it, it's in the past, past tense. And if you have, if I had a hat, which I haven't, I'd take it off you. And I'll go, awesome. I'd doff my cap to you. Because this is still going to apply to you, it is. You see, you might not have or can remember trauma, but you might have people that you blame. Blame for the things that didn't happen in your life. And now you're here. I mean, we're going to dive into in the longer podcast, who we blame. And why, what it costs us and what it wasn't and what it is. See, I have an example in my life when an ex-boss of mine, he let me down more than 100%. If you can get more than 100%, that's what he did. And he did it in front of other people. And he was my mentor. He did such good things for me. And then he did something which was terrible to me. But now, I can, I know if I met him, he might be dead by now. But if I did meet him, or if I knew when I did the work on myself, if I were going to meet him, I'd have been fine. I'd have been fine. I'd have started again. Because I'd have understood something. And it's understanding and learning, which then allows you to take responsibility for what you're doing now, and allows you to let go of that and be freer. No more reasons, which are bloody excuses. You see, that's where I want to go. And there's the other thing. Now these all might hit a bell, but the other one is, it's my bloody parents, my mum, my dad, or mother and father. I don't know, I call them my mum and my dad. You know, back then when we were little, little boys and girls, did they protect us from that thing? Did they encourage us? Or did they discourage us? Way back then. Now, did they do the things they should have done? They could have done? Well, maybe they didn't. What else didn't they do? Come on, fill in the blank. It's your experience, your thoughts, your limiting belief. It's a belief anyway. I don't think it's that supportive. But hey, they're the things we're going to be letting go in the longer podcast. We'll be diving to all of that and developing and creating a lovely process. In fact, I think there might be two, I'm not sure. I like to do two, but there's definitely going to be one. Well, there is, I know now. There's going to be two wonderful processes. One about our parent thing and one about letting go of other people. And you see, in that way, we let go of blame, anger, sadness, guilt, everything, emotion, disappointment, anything, because we can be at peace. And once we're at peace with it, and we've learnt from it, and we've had that experience in our life, we can grow from it. If you think of every person who's a thought lead and all that, they've all had shit lives right at the very beginning. I think some of them might have made it up though. But we do grow from the traumas, big T, little T, once we've learnt from, and they give us opportunities. And maybe we'll just sit and learn how to then create the life we want, because we won't have excuses, we won't have reasons, but we'll have empowerment. We'll have responsibility. But with that responsibility, we'll have the resources, because that effect, the emotions, limiting beliefs caused by our blame, has been holding us, holding us back, giving us all sorts of visions, visualisations, chatting in our head, why we can't do it, and all this stuff. Once we get that out of the way, the positive self-talk comes in, I got this, good day, I get to do this. And we start to plan because we can, we think we're, and we know, we have that opportunity, and we can grasp it. We're not going to be dragging around that old crap. It's there to let go now. So if you're ready for that, I think you are. You wouldn't be listening if you weren't. And if you know of somebody who you know is blaming other things, blaming everything, blaming themselves, then share this with them, please. Because on this deeper dive to come, the longer podcast, the hashtag podcast, I think it's very simple, by the way, and it's not traumatic. Don't worry about that. We're not going to delve into the trauma and all that rubbish, because we're going to let it go and let it go. You don't have to dive into it, let your unconscious mind learn. Just let go of all the things we're dragging around with us that we've been blaming, the people, the things, the trauma, maybe our parents. But please share that with someone you think might be secretly, sometimes they're secretly keeping it inside. But we know, we know by watching their non-verbals, their body language, as it were, the tone of voice, when something, oh, you can just see that little trigger, or maybe they're, you know, they're putting off things. And behind that is generally that thing that we're holding on to that we don't need to. And blame is a, is a crazy thing. Sometimes it makes us feel bad, doesn't it, in the short term. But hey, I would rather be encouraging myself, celebrating myself, of what's possible and the things I am doing and I'm going to do. So if that enthused you, like it's enthusing me, I'll see you on the longer podcast, and we're going to have fun letting go and creating the life we deserve. Okay, I'll see you then. Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]