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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever.
I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing.
And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is Dr. Jesse Mills, host of the Mailroom Podcast. Each January, men promise to get stronger, work harder, and fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? I sat down with psychologist Dr. Steve Poulter to unpack shame, anxiety, and the emotional pain men were never taught how to name.
Part of the way through the valley of despair is realizing this has happened, and you have to make a choice whether you're going to stay in it or move forward. Our two-part conversation is available now. Listen to The Mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.
If you only listen to one thing to make sense of the news this year, make it this. The final episode of this season of Next Question pulls together the most important conversations of the year. You'll hear David Graham on Project 2025, Liz Oyer on the plethora of presidential pardons, Tina Brown on the year's biggest scandals here at home and across the pond, plus much, much more.
It's a crash course in the last 12 months, how we made it through the year, and a look at what might be coming in 2026. Listen to Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather. In 1995, my neighbor and a trainer disappeared from a commune. It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.
So no, I am not your guru.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of the episode titled 'Don't Ask Don't Tell'?
People just, I mean, it's so perfect and beautiful. And exactly, you know, what Charlotte would want. And I think what Trey would want slash, you know, Scottish vibe. And I remember the stress. I was super stressed about how to pull that moment off of, you know, basically... pulling her off, you know, she's walking down the aisle and pulling her back and telling her, like, he can't get it up.
Trey can't get it up. I was very, very worried about that. And at the time that it happened, we had an AD. I'm not going to say her name. She was a woman, first AD, and she was sitting on a ladder right behind us. And she laughed out loud. On my close-up, the first time I did it and we had to cut, it wasn't usable. And I was so mad because I had been so stressed about it.
And her laugh had ruined that take and it had been a really good take. So then I had to do it again. And I guess it's fine. I guess it's fine. I don't know. I think in my head... I didn't know if it was supposed to be funny or if it was supposed to be really upsetting. Obviously, Charlotte's upset, but I couldn't tell if that was like a laugh line or if it wanted to be a laugh line or if...
The writers thought it was going to be a laugh line. I remember that was what I was mostly worried about was really delivering it the way that it should be delivered and trying to fulfill all the boxes, you know, what everybody else wanted me to do. And I remember Sarah Jessica has this really funny thing that she has to do where she's trying to figure out what to say to me.
And I think she does a great job, you know, Carrie slash Carrie. And Sarah plays it so beautifully because she knows she's supposed to be walking down the aisle and that everybody's still looking, right? Like, where did she go? Where's Carrie? And she's trying to tell me like, hey, you know what? Maybe he jerked off before you came. I had totally forgotten all this, right? It was pretty funny.
It was pretty funny, but also like sad funny, like not laugh out loud funny. And that's one of those things where... I think our show did that really well. And it's hard as an actor to do that because you don't know exactly if you should be going with your kind of more comedic impulses or going into the emotion of it. And really what you have to do is do both.
And I think Sarah does it beautifully. I'm not really sure if I did it perfectly or not still to this day. When I watched it, I wasn't sure. But I think she does it incredibly well because she's in this, you know, this stressful moment of needing... She knows that we need to go ahead. Charlotte is just kind of stuck in this panic moment, which I also think is very, very Charlotte.
And Carrie's trying to move it along and make Charlotte okay, because as she says in the voiceover, she's in a $14,000 Vera Wang, which is completely true.
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Chapter 3: How does Kristin feel about Charlotte's decision to wait until marriage for sex?
That's how much that dress cost. And I just think the scene is really good in a way that I hadn't remembered, because I hadn't remembered what she did.
In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever.
I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing.
And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband. To keep this secret for so many years, he's like a seasoned pro. This is a story about the end of a marriage, but it's also the story of one woman who was done living in the dark.
You're a dangerous person who preys on vulnerable and trusting people. You're a predator, Michael Levengood.
Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the Men's Clinic at UCLA Health and host of the Mailroom podcast.
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Chapter 4: Why were actors falling asleep during the filming of this episode?
Each January, guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Poulter, a psychologist with over 30 years experience helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught to name.
In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy and some compassion.
If you want this to be the year you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to The Mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.
Chapter 5: What shocking scene does Kristin reveal from the episode?
It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.
In 1995, my neighbor and a trainer disappeared from a commune. It was hard to wrap your head around. It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.
So no, I am not your guru.
And back then, I lied to my parents. I lied to police. I lied to everybody.
There were years, Ryder, where I could not say your name.
I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California, interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists, whomever I can, to try to find out what actually happened.
Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend? They have had this case for 30 years. I'll teach you sons of bitches to come around here with my wife.
Boom, boom. This is The Red Weather. Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
The moments that shape us often begin with a simple question. What do I want my life to look like now? I'm Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford. And on Therapy for Black Girls, we create space for honest conversations about identity, relationships, mental health, and the choices that help us grow.
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Chapter 6: What behind-the-scenes details does Kristin share about Charlotte's wedding?
And Trey says, well, that was unfortunate. Yeah. And Charlotte looks kind of, you know, surprised and obviously not thrilled. And then we learn, you know, he says many, many interesting things there. He says things, Charlotte says, you know, has this happened to you before? And Trace says, on occasion, yes.
And then he says something about, I can lift the sails, but I can't take it into the harbor or something like this, which is just also very interesting. And I was just curious. I mean, I know that Charlotte's all shocked and everything, but like, I wondered like, I'm going to find out, I guess. But like, do we try Viagra? Like, are there other things? You know, what do we do?
Like, there's things you can do, right? But then it does kind of become clear that this has something to do with his relationship with his mom. It seems to be. And then later on, we know that he tells her, like, once we started talking about getting married, that's when I... I lost my, you know, whatever freedom, I guess, his freedom to be freely sexual, I suppose.
And I don't think that's so shocking. I do think that, you know, people getting married is a big, big amount of pressure. But it's all very interesting. And I feel I feel I hope that we do it justice. You know what I'm saying? In terms of I can't really remember everything that's going to happen. I guess we're going to find out together.
And I'm sure all of you guys listening know more than I know because I don't remember all of it. And my other issue is that, like, for me. It's Kyle there. Right. Who's playing Trey. And also we have the chemistry that we have. So I think it's hard for me to I think in the same way that it's hard for Charlotte. Right. To really believe that this is a problem. Like it's kind of a shock. Right.
And I think that's the whole thing with Charlotte is like everything's so great. There's so many great things about him. And then there's this one, you know, thorn in the side, right? And that's why she goes ahead with it, which I think is great that she goes ahead with it. But like, do we go to therapy, you guys? I don't know. I hope we do. But I kind of don't think we do. But we should.
We should do things. We should try everything. I don't know if we do. I'm worried now. I'm really worried. So that's what I was thinking when I was watching us. But it's also really enjoyable to watch. And then we look so happy when we leave. And then also it's so sad that this whole Aiden storyline is happening. And Charlotte's just kind of oblivious. And it's so sweet that Carrie...
very much unlike a narcissist, does not tell Charlotte that she confessed her cheating to Aiden and that Aiden has left. And somehow Charlotte doesn't notice that Aiden's not there, I think, because I'm in my own little world.
But it's so sweet of her as a friend not to tell me because in the Vera Wang thing, I say something like, don't tell him because I don't want you guys fighting at my wedding, which I, of course, understand. But there's just a lot going on in this episode.
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Chapter 7: How does Kristin describe John Corbett's performance in this episode?
A lot, a lot, a lot. Now let's talk about Samantha for a second before I get to Carrie. Samantha and I have this fight in the Vera Wang, which I don't remember at all. And somehow, thank goodness, we make up and she comes.
Because, you know, when you leave us in the Vera Wang and she goes in the dressing room to take her dress off, you kind of get the feeling that she's not going to be a bridesmaid. So I wonder if the scene got cut. I feel like a scene...
at least one scene, if not two scenes got cut from this episode, because I do think that there was some kind of a scene where I'm wearing like a veil on my head and we go to some kind of a bar where I drink Charlotte, I mean, and I have some kind of a conversation or Samantha says she's still going to be a bridesmaid. So I feel like something's cut. Anyway, that's, that's just me.
Maybe I'm wrong, but yeah, I do love this guy who plays the Scottish. Is it a cousin? Excuse me. Is it a cousin of Trey's? I think he's a cousin. He's a McDougal. I love him so much. And I thought that there had been more with him and Samantha. And I also feel like maybe there was and it got cut. I think that we had such a stacked... Oh my God. Yes. I'm wearing that sweater.
And I... So you guys, there is a photographic... proof that I am correct and there is a scene cut from this episode at least one where I go the girls take me out to some kind of bar it was like some kind of a like maybe almost coyote ugly bar that has like sawdust on the floor you know It was probably Coyote Ugly because what other bar in Manhattan would have sawdust on the floor?
This is what I remember. And I'm wearing the veil on my head like you're supposed to do for your, you know, bachelorette type whatever party. But I guess it didn't make it into the final edit. Oh my goodness.
And I think sometime there I talked to Samantha and she says she still wants to be a bridesmaid, which is of course wonderful because it would have been really, really sad if we hadn't all been together in that. And we wouldn't have had the incredible ending moment. Where the voiceover says, you know, it's basically, Carrie says, it's wonderful to have people who love you for who you really are.
And I was lucky to have found three of them. And we're all there together. It's a really great moment. It's a really great ending to a really great episode. I have to say this episode is like a film. It's like a mini film in and of itself. Mostly because, I mean, we've got a really good, you know, Trey storyline, obviously. But the Carrie storyline, oh my goodness me.
So basically, the gist of this, first of all, both Sarah Jessica and Corbett are incredible in this episode. And I remember the scene that they have outside the church, the wedding. And I remember being... just worried about that for her because the wedding took so long. We were like, they all fell asleep on the pews of the church. I have pictures somewhere.
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Chapter 8: What unresolved issues are highlighted in Charlotte and Trey's relationship?
I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California, interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists, whomever I can, to try to find out what actually happened.
Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend?
They have had this case for 30 years.
I'll teach you sons of bitches to come around here with my wife. Boom, boom. This is The Red Weather. Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
The moments that shape us often begin with a simple question. What do I want my life to look like now? I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, and on Therapy for Black Girls, we create space for honest conversations about identity, relationships, mental health, and the choices that help us grow. As cybersecurity expert Camille Stewart Gloucester reminds us...
We are in a divisive time where our comments are weaponized against us.
And so what we find is a lot of Black women are standing up and speaking out because they feel the brunt of the pain.
Each week, we explore the tools and insights that help you move with purpose, whether you're navigating something new or returning to yourself. If you're ready for thoughtful guidance and grounded support, this is the place for you. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
So they have this sexy scene and then she gets up in the middle of the night and she she goes onto his stoop to smoke and he comes out and finds her. And she goes, oh, you said you couldn't date a smoker. And he says something like, well, that's not all all of who you are. And then he says, I'm not perfect. And of course, this whole time, all she can think about is should I tell him?
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