Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG 2025 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored by: Hall of Fame Bets: Get a 7-Day Free Trial + 50% Off your first month with code GARBAGE. Just download the HOF app on iOS or Android, enter code GARBAGE, and you’re all set. Upside: Download the FREE Upside App and use promo code ayg to get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. Pretty Litter: Right now save 20% on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy at https://prettylitter.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What are the upcoming live shows for the podcast?
The boys are about to hit the road for that Back on the Block tour, so grab the squad and come on out and see us. Yeah, we're starting in San Francisco, then Portland, Seattle, Brea, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Yeah.
Chapter 2: What does the show 'Are You Garbage?' entail?
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Amen, sister. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that if they grew up to be classy, they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Sage Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We are out back here with Tootie's in a new edition.
She's out in the front yard playing a little freeze tag. Ha ha! Got a hot game of Simon Says coming up. Big man's on the board. My ghost is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman, and he is also the king of the burbs, baby. Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks. As always, thanks for tuning in. Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available on Spotify, which I got to be honest with you, that numbers are running away on Spotify. One of the charts over there. Amen. Look out. As well as the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
You go over there, you get all that bonus content. Then last but not least. What's that? Back on the block tour. The boys are hitting the road in the fall and the winter. Get your tickets now. Low ticket alerts in some of the places. We're not adding second shows, so get them tickies. A lot of big shows. You got back at the Wilbur in Boston.
Back at the Wilbur. Doing the Met in Philadelphia.
Uh-huh. Comedy Zone in Charlotte. It's a big club. It's a goddamn kill box. That's a great room. One of our favorites. Coming back to some of our favorite cities, some new cities. You've got Toronto. You've got some bigger theaters. You've got some fun, small clubs. They're a little menagerie.
Nice little run out there on the coast. We haven't had one of them in about two years, right? For a year and a half. Something like that. Out on the coast for like an extended period of time. Going to need a nice Airbnb. We get out there, money bags.
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Chapter 3: What are some examples of 'garbage' behavior?
Show it off a little bit. We need a convertible, too. Me and you, front seat. I'll be driving. You'll be in the pen. I'll get two broads in the back or at least put a wig on Luke. A little flat-chested, but I like him. He got a tight little body. Picked her up in the valley, huh? Fucking valley trash. I'm talking Beverly Hills. All right, let's cut the bullshit here. What do you got for me? What?
Why did you drag me down here for? You make it seem like. Pitch me your ideas so I can say no. The hell do I got? I was driving down the east side highway over there, FDR. New York City? New York City, New York. Manhattan, ever heard of it? Not out there in Queens with the heathens. See it from my. Subway platform. If I squint hard. That's where the rich guys live, kids.
I was driving down to FDR, which is on the east side, and... There was, I'd seen, so listen, I've seen a lot of jammed up mofos. I've seen a lot of people moving in vehicles they shouldn't be moving in, this and that. I've had to strap down a lot of stuff on a pickup truck to get to a job site that I shouldn't have been doing above my pay grade.
Not compliant with, you know, the Department of Transportation laws and legalities. You know what always frightened the Foley family? What? Bungee cords. One of those things snap back. I was a surgeon with bungee cords. They might as well be an aircraft carrier cable. I think it's fucking ripping in half.
I know. My dad had like 10 of the worst ones ever. Those hooks, they'd start to bend like that.
That thing catch you in the groin. I did. I got it one time. Circumcised twice. I got it one time in the lip, I remember. Oh, man. It was freezing this morning. I was wrapping copper pipe around. I'm always scared of that.
Ever since I saw a documentary about ships where the line snapped.
Rip you in half. Oh, yeah.
Ain't getting me like that. Fuck that shit. Take your leg out. No, thank you. Just roll over into the water.
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Chapter 4: How do you feel about swiping your card before checkout?
I think I'd go with a cargo container or something. They could spitball other ideas. Man, but we got a gosh darn family episode on our hand. Gang, as you know, when you join the old Patreon over there, we will answer your garbage question on the air. Shout out to all the homies over there. About 14,000 strong on the gosh darn Patreon. Love to see it. Lowkey...
bubbling over there we're one of the top 10 comedy pods over there on patreon and listen it's a good time if you join now you get the last four years so it's like two episodes a week at the ten dollar level that comes out to 104 what's that 104 episodes a year so there's like four over 400 episodes on air where'd you get that oh remote hey what are you doing i thought he had a fob or something
Open your garage door.
Turn my butt plug on.
All right, let's see here. This is from the fully erect $10 homie. Okay. Is it garbage to swipe your credit card before the cashier is done ringing your shit up? It feels classy and trashy at the same time, which I get that so succinctly.
I don't understand.
It's not going to go through. No, some of them do. When they're ringing it up, you can swipe your card, and then they have to do the process.
Oh.
So you can jump the gun. It does seem like a little. And it'll still keep adding up? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That is a baller move. To me, I'll do it sometimes, and I feel cool. Like, I don't care how much this is. You know what I mean? Meanwhile, I'm buying Diet Coke or something. It's like $7. But you feel like, oh, I don't even know.
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Chapter 5: What are the hosts' thoughts on squid ink pasta?
Talking about my big, fat Greek wedding. Yeah, but let's talk about Hall of Fame bets. I ain't talking about no running the mill bets. I'm talking about Hall of Fame bets. Let's talk about Hall of Fame bets.
Let's look at it this way. You ready? Here's the turkey. You got your parlay going, your one leg away. Then the relief pitcher gives up a walk, walk-off home run, bomb, 450-footer. Next thing you know, you're all jammed up. The HOF app is built to fix that. Started by two lifelong sports fans who also happen to be Ivy League grads. Couple of brainiacs. That's what I'm talking about.
HOF makes parlay research smarter, faster, and data-driven, and that's what you need.
Chapter 6: Is it garbage to rinse your ice before switching drinks?
You need concrete info. Mm-hmm. And the best part is once you've built your parlay, you can send it straight through to your sportsbook app with one clip, no manual entry, no wasted time at all. Seamless, baby. That's what these brainiacs are doing. They're making it easy. The Hall of Fame app syncs automatically with the most major sportsbooks like DraftKings and FanDuel.
I was on DraftKings last night. I was typing my – I was on HOF. Got my parlay, and I was at the bar or something, passing time. I said, you know, I got a little action. Let's spice it up a bit. Sure. Hall of Fame isn't just parlays. It's built for player props, game lines, totals, and more, giving you the tools you need to break down trends, spot value to hold nine yards for a limited time only.
Our listeners not only get a seven-day free trial, but they also get 50% off their first month when they use the code garbage at checkout. Just download the HOF app on iOS or Android, enter the code garbage, and you're all set. Do it. Kev, let's talk about upside, baby. A little bit of cash back here.
Talking about a little cash back from the Good folks at Upside. Gang, the free Upside app gets you cast back on daily essentials like gas, groceries, and dining. To get started, download the free Upside app, use our promo code AYG, and get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. Look at that. Talk about a welcome mat.
Sure. Next, you can claim your offer for whatever you're buying on Upside. Then pay as usual with a credit or debit card. Follow the steps in the app and get paid. Let's go. They got over 100,000 gas stations, grocery stores, and restaurants on the Upside app. That's a lot of frigging places. Ensuring that the cash back is always just around the corner for you.
You can earn an average of 8% on restaurant and grocery purchases. And the way the big man eats, that's a lot of money. And the best part is you can even stack your upside cash back on top of your credit and debit card rewards. Upside users are earning hundreds of dollars a year. That's probably why they have a 4.8 star rating on the App Store. Check it out. That's proof as in a pudding.
Download the free Upside app and use promo code AYG to get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. That's an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. Using the promo code AYG, obviously. Do it. I like movies like that. I get it, too. It was just the timing. I was like, what are we doing? Eat, Pray, Love. Not my favorite Julia Roberts movie.
Obviously, it's fucking, you know. You're more of an eat, eat, eat kind of guy.
I liked her in fucking Pretty Woman. She's turning tricks on Sunset. That's fucking my wheelhouse. Sure. But I always thought that something happened to her and she went to, like, find herself. She just fucking left her husband, fucking went over to Italy and started fucking putting on weight and fucking getting nailed. There's nothing wrong with that. Okay.
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Chapter 7: What is the significance of frogs in the conversation?
No, I never got that.
Oh, my brother did once. Nobody. We both answered the phone at the same time. We felt like we were fucking tastemakers. Cheers is what he said. He was probably 11 at the time. I was like, cheers.
I'm a norm man. I love that John Rattenberger. Rattenberger. Turtle Burger. I'll have the Rat-A-Burger, please.
3.8%.
That's not enough to make a difference. Sure. No. Traffic.
They're saying since the 80s.
Yeah. There was frogs everywhere when I was a kid.
They were running around. You'd see them in the grass after a rain. Get out of my yard. Yeah, you just don't have grass anymore. First of all, you pay. My mom does. Not a lot. The whole backyard's a deck. The front yard. That's less.
And I remember 15, 20 years ago, they would get into. This was scary.
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