Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley to talk all about your experiences with COPS! It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Helix: 25% Off Sitewide + 2 Free Dream Pillows with Mattress Purchase https://helixsleep.com/garbage Rocket Money: https://RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that it's good to be classy. Yeah. After just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Willie, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition.
She's upstairs signing up for the Patreon so she can submit her Tooties.
Okay. Because she said she's sick of me blowing it. I know. They talk about a guy who did K-Hole, I think, back-to-back. What are you in a K-hole? Which is rude. What's going on? That's a deep K-hole she was in. She likes to party. The amount of messages I got to hit up with the big man's repeating bits. Oh, I know. I got a heart condition.
I was from Chicano414 on the Patreon. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman. Just made a move on Jimmy John's, I heard. Trying to get a piece of that. Trying to keep up with Jersey Mike's. The quality better not go down.
Be getting emails from me.
I don't know what this riff is. Am I buying Jimmy John's? Yeah, he's buying a little piece of it. Because somebody just bought Jersey Mike's. Oh, I didn't know that. Would you read that in Sandwich Quarterly? Some businessman you are. Kevin Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Shout out to the homies. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube. And also now full video available on Spotify. What's up with that, by the way? I don't know. I don't know. We got sucked up in an algorithm. Somebody talk about making backdoor deals. I thought you said they selected a few pods that are going video now. And we're one of them? We're one of them. Look at that. Yeah. I don't know.
They haven't cut me a fucking check yet, so I don't know. But they're not supposed to. Shout out to it. They're not supposed to either. But we got where we have now. Somebody messaged me and was like, you guys are on Spotify? I was like, you told me. I don't know. I'm in iTunes, man. No, so now we have full video available on Spotify. That's crazy. It might be for Spotify Premium.
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Chapter 2: What hilarious stories do the hosts share about their encounters with police?
No shit. Hawaii 5-0. You should know that. I know. Right? You steal valor. You know Hawaii. That could be you. That was a sweet show back in the day. I didn't really watch the reboot, obviously. But back in the day, it was fucking tight. Okay. We got a couple. Listen. You guys listen to the show. You guys. Some of you got records, if we're being honest with you. 99% of you got records.
I don't condone it. We love you, baby. I don't condone it, but hey, everybody's got a checkered past. Everybody's got a bumpy future. You know what I mean? I got friends on house arrest right now. You know who you are. Is that me?
Can't leave here.
No, we were doing the show that we did in parks, and we were like, oh, where's so-and-so? Where's so-and-so? So-and-so's M.I.A., And then he sends a picture of his ankle with a monitor on it, and he's like, I ain't allowed out of the house. There ain't no elf on the shelf. Yeah, tough, tough. But, hey, shit happens. It gets the best of everybody. All right, let's see here. This one's just funny.
Chapter 3: What are the nicknames for cops that the hosts remember?
This is from El Boho Rojo. First time I got arrested, I was running from the cops. I got tackled, and I shit my pants. That is a, dude, that is, that's going to be a long weekend. Who got you, J.J. Watt? That's crazy. Somebody came across Jeremy, somebody came across the middle and got you. Jesus. That's, yeah, damn. That's a tough one. Tough one. Also. Getting tackled.
That cop, I mean, that cop's going above and beyond. Sure. I mean, unless you were robbing a bank or something, if you're like proper taking a spear dive. Running from a party or something like that. Hitting him like Bill Goldberg, like taking him out. Getting hung out to dry across the middle. The dudes on To Catch a Predator always get tackled in the front lawn.
Those guys love grabbing them dudes. Man. Hey, you seen this show? Go out a window or something. You're going out the front door like an idiot. They're right there waiting for you. Fucking dumbass.
You got holding balloons and shit.
Bag of toys.
You got to do something big. You got to pull a gun. You got to try to get out of that. That's a tough look. I mean, you shouldn't be in that situation. What am I talking about? That's all right. It's crazy how that people are just still getting caught like that. Like, there's just... I would be like... They're all falling for the same trick over and over again. It's been documented for 30 years.
You see the camera guys out front? I know. What the fuck? The news van didn't set you off? Seems legit. Dirtbags. Go to therapy.
Did he say he got tased and tackled?
No, just tackled. Wow. Imagine getting hit so hard you shit yourself. It's like hot rod.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about getting pulled over?
Now things are getting ginky. Shout out to Super Trooper. Damn. Okay. Did you get a ticket? Do you remember? I don't think so. No, I think they let us go. Maybe she got a speeding ticket or whatever, but it was just like, I remember her going, yeah, he's sleeping. It's like 91, dude. Seatbelt ruling, you know. We're in the outside wild. We're in the boonies.
You're lucky we're not on meth right now. Fair enough. Sure. All right, let's see. This one's from M. Beatty. One time I showed up for a scheduled two days in jail. The way he just gets into that right away, like that's a normal thing. One time I showed up for a schedule two days in jail at 11 p.m. What's the point of that? I don't know. You can't pay the fine?
If you have a job, you're allowed to appeal to a judge.
If you're like, hey, listen, find out what charges would get you a weekend. Two days? Two days seems whatever. You got to pay your debts to society for whatever you did or didn't do or were framed for.
That's right. Weekend jail is typically given to people convicted of nonviolent crimes such as DUIs, chronic speeding, petty theft, failure to pay child support.
Ooh, they get you with that. They got a bunch of guys for the Super Bowl tickets like that. Oh, yeah. I tell you, I never thought my boy got caught like that. He was such a fucking idiot, this kid. He got caught. He was a big pill head. He was bad news. He had a warrant out in Miami or something, or like Fort Lauderdale. And we were in college, and he got a letter, hey, you won something.
And he went down and got fucking... Ain't just giving Super Bowl tickets away. I don't know if it was the Super Bowl. It was like, you know, you want a new flat screen or something. He's like, yeah, this is my... Yeah.
Was this recent?
Got a new Craig waiting for you in Tampa Bay.
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Chapter 5: What funny experiences did the hosts have related to tickets and police encounters?
Look at you. Before it was owned by the Caribbean. This was like the old... Old guard. It was me and John Nunn. Johnny Nunn. Our good pal John Nunn coming up to do a college showcase for a booker. For a booker who books colleges.
How'd that work out for you?
It did not work out that well. I did all right. You know, did a couple, two, three good bits. There's about 15 people in the audience. Any industry? Yeah, there was a woman who worked at like something.
yeah exactly she got back to yeah i mean no actual industry uh i mean johnny netflix wasn't there uh but we got pulled over and he's like ah he's like what are you doing i was like oh we're going to a comedy show and he's like who you seen and i'm like where to show who you see kevin ryan and john nunn it's a booking showcase It's an industry showcase. Oh, we're comics.
He said, what do you... No, well, he goes, you're not... He took my license and he goes, Pennsylvania? What the hell are you doing all the way up here?
What the fuck, asshole? It's New York City. What the fuck do you think I'm doing? Running dope. That's how they get kids to go in and get drugs come out.
Of course. Yeah. And then he said, what are you doing? I said, we're going to a comedy show. And he's like, oh, who are you seeing? I said, we are. We're in a show. And he was like, all right, let me just make sure you don't have any warrants, both of you. And I don't know if you've ever seen a picture of John Nunn. He looks like a bouncer for the Hells Angels.
And they fucking, I was like, hey, man, is this good? Are you clean? And he's like, we are going to find out very soon. And I was like, fuck, dude. That's how you spice up my life. It was a Wednesday night. All for flicking a heater out this window. I'm like, what am I going to do with it? You know what I mean?
But, yeah, would you tell a joke if he was like, you know, tell me a joke and I'll let you go? What would the go-to joke be? I'm more of a story-based comedian. So there I am.
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