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Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Fancy Cereal! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

15 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What can listeners expect from this family episode?

0.031 - 12.01 H. Foley

Hey, hey, hey, Cleveland, Ohio. The boys are coming soon. I'm talking to you, Lakewood. I'm talking to you, Ohio City. Everybody from the surrounding areas, come out and see the boys at Hilarity's. Play a little AYG with the crowd and a little stand-up comedy.

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12.03 - 17.138 Kevin Ryan

Yeah, we're also in Pittsburgh at the Improv. Get your tickets. They're moving quick. We'll see you there. We love you.

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18.661 - 40.076 H. Foley

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that if they group to be classy, or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. A fake. I got the big man.

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40.577 - 48.788 H. Foley

We're out here at Tootie's in a new edition. She just got busted for the third time stealing packages off the neighbor's porch. Jesus. It's becoming an issue.

49.309 - 51.913 Kevin Ryan

Wait, does this mean you've done that joke two other times?

52.314 - 52.534 H. Foley

No.

Chapter 2: How do Kevin Ryan and H. Foley define 'classy' versus 'garbage'?

52.634 - 58.202 Kevin Ryan

Okay. You see what I'm saying? Hey, for the ninth time, I'm going to tell you the same joke.

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58.182 - 74.783 H. Foley

That's pretty good, though. You can rehash him. I could start doing that. No, you can't. Well, folks, look for that in about four months. It'll be the fourth time. That'd be crazy. I'd put my foot down. My co-hosts coming in from across the table. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what we call a family episode. It's just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. Just the way we like it.

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74.823 - 91.064 H. Foley

Circle in the wagons, hanging out. Family, friends, unity, togetherness. Kevin Ryan. Call him Mr. Jet Lag. You get it worse than anybody I know. Because I'm moving and shaking. All right, take it easy.

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91.104 - 96.411 Kevin Ryan

You're used to sleeping 18 hours a day. What up, gang? Shout out to you as always.

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Chapter 3: What etiquette tips do they share for eating cereal at a restaurant?

96.591 - 113.868 Kevin Ryan

Make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available on Spotify. And then, obviously, Patreon.frickin'com. The best website in the world. I have seen it from the rafters. It's changed our lives. You can go over there. You get all that frickin' bonus. You're probably sitting there going, how much bonus content could there be?

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113.908 - 117.251 Kevin Ryan

It's more than you're thinking. And maybe that might be overwhelming.

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117.351 - 140.857 H. Foley

So then it's not too much. Take it one day at a time. Don't want to scare you. One day at a time. That's what they're telling me. I'm not buying it yet. That's what they're telling me. That's what they're telling me. You know what I've really learned to appreciate in this life? Uh-huh. Friends. Fellowship. Camaraderie. I've been spending a lot of time on the phone lately.

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141.438 - 151.152 H. Foley

Different agencies, associations, businesses, things like that. Uh-huh.

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151.172 - 151.292 Kevin Ryan

Okay.

151.372 - 153.155 H. Foley

I hate the Shriners, I can tell you that.

Chapter 4: What are the funniest stories shared about childhood experiences?

153.175 - 156.88 Kevin Ryan

And that's what you appreciate? No, no, I hate that.

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157.021 - 186.73 H. Foley

Okay. But what I do appreciate... is the callback feature. Very nice. If we can do that, if we can do that, ladies and gentlemen, what is the problem out there? If we can do that, civilized, who the fuck thinks you want to sit there? I was on the phone. I was on hold the other day, and he goes, the guy said, while you're on hold, we're going to play you a little music. I don't like that.

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186.85 - 191.699 H. Foley

It's like, hey, man, unless you're dropping Skinnered on me. Sure. Or something.

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191.719 - 197.31 Kevin Ryan

This is live music. Are you going to play me a little diddly? Then I'm in. Hit me with the Iceman. Huh?

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197.33 - 205.036 H. Foley

At WNBA. At Drake. You don't listen to the albums? That guy's hot.

205.356 - 211.363 Kevin Ryan

Nah, I'm out. You're out on Drake? I'm out on music and everybody. Not really. Holy shit.

212.063 - 213.004 H. Foley

This guy's losing it.

213.585 - 214.125 Kevin Ryan

I am, dude.

215.126 - 216.047 H. Foley

But why, Kevin?

Chapter 5: How do the hosts react to audience questions about embarrassing moments?

224.776 - 228.5 Kevin Ryan

What more do you need? No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm just, yeah.

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229.682 - 251.809 H. Foley

You know. If we can do that, the possibilities, I think, are endless. That's such a good thing, nice thing. I don't know how to do it. I agree. I'm a big fan of it. Huge fan. It's fantastic. And that's H. Foley's Roundup for this week. I just wanted to share that with you. Thank you. You're very welcome.

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252.008 - 254.116 Kevin Ryan

I appreciate that. It's very nice, yes.

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254.638 - 257.669 H. Foley

No problem. It's a good thing. That's all I'm saying. It's a good thing.

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257.809 - 258.231 Kevin Ryan

I agree.

258.291 - 261.563 H. Foley

That if we can get there, where else can we go?

263.028 - 272.122 Kevin Ryan

Right. I got something. I got a little thing. I have a little diddly I'd like to show you. A little diddly. A little diddy.

Chapter 6: What insights do they provide on family dynamics and relationships?

272.462 - 272.803 Kevin Ryan

Whatever.

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272.843 - 283.88 H. Foley

Not pee diddy. A little diddly. A little diddly is you touching my balls and my penis. Why? It's soft. That is little. That's diddling. I always assumed diddling is soft.

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284.942 - 291.111

Pee got a little diddy, though. Did you see that video? No. Oh, man. The video dropped. What video?

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291.091 - 309.054 Kevin Ryan

Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. His sex video. Whose sex video? Yours. And everyone's making fun of how red your balls are. Hey! Whose video? Hey, TMZ.

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309.074 - 312.238 Joe Benigno

What are you holding out information for me?

312.318 - 316.163 H. Foley

First of all, I'm not holding out any information. You wouldn't answer me. Pete Diddy has a sex tape out?

316.183 - 317.044 Joe Benigno

We said that, yeah.

317.064 - 319.647 H. Foley

Isn't that the least of his problems?

Chapter 7: How do they discuss the influence of pop culture on their upbringing?

320.302 - 324.15 H. Foley

Who's he with? A guy and a girl. My man.

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327.758 - 330.784 Kevin Ryan

I mean, what do you want me to get into details? I didn't see the stuff.

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330.804 - 332.427 H. Foley

I'll check that out later. Sure.

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332.908 - 336.055 Kevin Ryan

You're going to be distracted for the rest of the video.

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336.075 - 337.197 H. Foley

All consensual, I hope.

337.337 - 342.904

Yeah, but it's all like in that red lighting. It's so creepy. I didn't.

344.088 - 361.158 Kevin Ryan

It's a goddamn family show here. Yeah, Luke, what are you doing? Yeah. Bringing this up. Now you got Foley hard. No. Yeah. You're not soft. Not yet. Ready for diddling. I got something I want to show you. The screen's not set up, so I'll show you on my laptop. My lab top.

361.399 - 362.04 H. Foley

Your lab top.

362.06 - 363.241 Kevin Ryan

Because that's where the scientists.

Chapter 8: What final thoughts do they share about the importance of humor in life?

366.987 - 369.09 Kevin Ryan

Yeah, someone's got to run the business. Doing work?

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369.591 - 373.417 H. Foley

Yeah. That's good. Hey, I was busy here. Uh-huh.

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373.437 - 374.959 Kevin Ryan

On the phone, on hold.

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374.999 - 375.72 H. Foley

Callback features.

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376.802 - 377.483 Kevin Ryan

So you weren't that busy.

377.503 - 382.59 H. Foley

I'm saving the company time. What? I had to charge you time and a half, though.

382.61 - 416.26 Kevin Ryan

It's a holiday weekend. Now, this is from like, I guess he's like a social elite etiquette kind of guy. And I'll play it and you can, you know, I think there's a few things to unpack. Okay. Right? But I'll play it for you. Now, is this directed at me? No. Okay. I have to ask. Why? Because I'm defensive. Yeah, but... No, it's not. Okay. It's fodder for the program that we do.

416.721 - 437.898 Kevin Ryan

This isn't a personal attack on you. You've got to fucking do a show, you weirdo. Man, you need to... How many times have you seen your therapist a week? See him once a week. Double it. Doing well. It doesn't exist. It's not about me, is it? Am I in that sex tape? You start freaking out. I wasn't there. I was walking down the street. He said, can I hold the boom mic?

437.978 - 453.947 Kevin Ryan

I didn't know it was going to be that kind of thing. He said, do I want to? I'm trying to make it in show business. I was working freelance. Hey, whatever I do outside the studio is my time. I'm allowed to work on side projects. That guy's allowed to earn a living, right, Luke?

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