Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman.
Hello. What is it today?
Foreign objects, baby.
You guys.
Guys.
This one. Hits. Is.
No, the last one.
There's two.
Yeah. Yeah.
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Chapter 2: What are some shocking foreign object stories shared by the guests?
You're right.
That.
They all are wild.
But there are two that you'll never be able to unhear.
And you're going to hear Monica scream a ton. So keep your volume at like, I guess there's always trigger warnings. This is like an ear safety warning.
I would probably not listen to this one with your children. There's some real sensitive stuff actually in here.
Insensitive areas. Sharp objects. Please enjoy Foreign Objects and Body Part 3.
All times come and go.
How are you? Are you Randy?
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Chapter 3: How do healthcare professionals handle embarrassment in patients?
I am. Where are you, Randy?
Well, I'm currently in Orlando. I'm on a road trip. I'm at one of my son's house. When I heard about this, we had to stop here on our way to our destination so I could use his computer. Oh, that's nice.
We appreciate you interrupting your road trip to tell us this story. This is our favorite prompt. We love this prompt. Yeah, we do.
I'm a retired paramedic. I was a paramedic for 35 years in a major metropolitan area. Of course, I've got a thousand, thousand stories. I'm sure.
Chapter 4: What unique challenges do ER nurses face with unusual cases?
But some of these are more unique than others.
Okay. The more unique, the better.
My partner and I were sitting at the station and the call comes in from dispatch that says, crew 425, self-inflicted trauma involving a foreign object.
And really quick, what does that normally mean to you? What's like the highest probability that means?
Self-inflicted trauma, usually they're not that detailed. They'll call it an unknown medical or they'll call it a personal injury. But this one happened to come in a little more description to it. We're just kind of wondering, what can this be? Every time I think I've seen it all, I see something I've never seen before.
We knock on the door and the middle-aged woman answers the door and she's startled. She's going, you must have the wrong address. I didn't call 911. You better check with dispatch.
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Chapter 5: What was the first foreign object story shared in detail?
We called dispatch to verify the address and the name of the caller. And I said, well, it wasn't a woman's name. I said, well, this is the name of the caller. And she said, that's my son. He's upstairs.
Oh, no.
Okay. Well, maybe we should go check on your son. We walked up there, and we find that he's around 14 years old, and he's laying in bed, and he's got a blanket over him, and he's very reluctant to answer any questions. He has a heartache for this. Yeah. Oh, no. They said, how do you feel? He says, well, I'm in a lot of pain.
So then he asked for his mother to leave the room, and he was more forthcoming with his complaint.
Chapter 6: How do patients react when they have to disclose foreign objects?
So then we looked at him, and he had what I would describe as a super soaker 1,000. Oh! up his rectum. Okay, an enormous squirt gun? Well, this particular model had an attachment to it that allowed this to happen. There's a tube on the end of it. He asked if we could take care of him at that point. And we sometimes try to do things like that.
You know, we'll grease it up with a little KY jelly so we can get it removed. And it wasn't working very well. He said, well, at this point, we're going to have to transport you to the hospital.
Randy, if you could explain to some detail, I'm picturing a big water gun. Is the barrel in his rectum or is the water tank in his rectum or is the entire device in it? The barrel in the water tank, I wouldn't think it would fit.
There was a hose attachment to it.
Chapter 7: What is the psychological aspect behind foreign object insertions?
That allowed a stronger stream, I would presume.
Okay. Sure. Interesting. Okay. I'm going to have to do some Googling after this.
So it sounds like this might have started as like a hydro experiment. Like, oh, I might like the sensation of water spraying in my ass.
Like a bidet. A makeshift bidet.
Enema.
Yeah. Or an enema.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes.
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Chapter 8: What lessons can be learned from these bizarre medical stories?
We did detest the main water tank on it by separating that from the tube. So we didn't have to transport the whole thing in. And then we did bring him to the hospital where he was sedated and the thing was removed. He had a lot of splain in the dude after that. And he was pretty embarrassed.
I can't think of anything. I was already so paranoid. My mother would discover I was just masturbating, old fashioned masturbating. I just can't imagine the horror I would experience. experienced having told my mother that that water pistol she got me, I used in my bedroom.
Oh my gosh.
He called 911 without her knowledge. I think he thought maybe he could pull it off. He thought he could pull off a lot of stuff that day.
He sure did. He learned a lot. So did you have to tell the mom, okay, we have to take him to the hospital. And she's like, why?
Well, at that point where we figured we'd have to try to remove it, we got her involved.
Oh.
Because she was quite nervous, wanting to know what's going on.
Yeah, of course.
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