Monica Padman
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
Yeah, I hate this.
And having to adjust.
Yes.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.
Yeah, it's thankless.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Right in the shins.
That's not what made UCB.
Yeah.
So it was a
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, of course.
Yes.
Joking, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Okay. All right.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's
Yes.
He's a huge investor in massive companies.
We were just talking about that with Little Women.
Yeah. And at the end, they're showing the making of that book and how insane the process was to make a book.
I was like, oh, wow, we think there's wealth disparity now. But back then, to read a book, you had to be so rich. You could get your hands on that one copy that took that long to make. Everything's a little bit more democratized with these advancements in technology. It's in hindsight that you look back and you're like, oh, oh, that was good. But throughout, it's tough.
That's good. It is good, yeah. It's discerning.
It makes the human on the other end, like if you're interacting with the AI, you feel dumb yelling at it.
So in so many ways, you just are like, whatever.
I think if we yell at humans, it does something to us.
The first thing you're taught in kindergarten, don't get in a car with a stranger.
Hi.
What would we do? We'd just sit there.
That's true.
It could probably predict our entire conversation.
Quince is amazing.
I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater for me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
Thank you. I'm in stripes today.
Incredible.
It's pretty. It's effective. It's effective. Efficient.
Yes.
I think so much of the fear with AI, but I think every single one of these revolutions is ego. Because we have a friend who uses it all the time for work. And she'll just be like, here's some points, put it in a feasible email that I can send out. And when she was saying that, I was like, that's cheating. I devise an email.
It's like, that's cheating. I do that because I have the skill to do that. I want to protect the rare skill.
Yeah, because I have it.
But of course, when it's the music thing I don't have, I'm like, yes, I want that.
It's just ego, ultimately.
I know it's transitioning into, okay, well that is gone.
Exactly.
Yeah, I'm going for that look.
What does that mean? I mean, I know what it means, but what does it mean in this context?
I mean, did he get disbarred for that?
Oh, my God. Happy anniversary.
Any leader that we're fearing is taking away technology. That's the way to get people really under your spell.
Well, just because mistakes are such a huge part of learning and growing as people. So if there's something that's popping up that's basically stopping you from making any mistakes in front of your children, there's something to be said about seeing a parent make a mistake, repair, learn from that.
Oh, my God.
Then I might cause fights so that it can repair.
I know.
Just do you think everyone's self-aware enough? People who do like constructive conflict, a lot of them don't know that. They would say, I don't like conflict, but then they do. I think you just have to be very self-aware of what you really want, the way you really want to live your life and the way you really want to be.
Something you got praised for.
Yeah, I guess that's true. It's so dependent on the actual thing. I guess most people would say everyone should be able to spell somewhat. But I guess if you're a spelling bee champion, you'd be pissed about spell check.
Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Even with spellcheck, it's not that now we can all go win the spelling bee. It's still a very specific group of people who can do that. And same with the essays. It's like now everyone can turn in an essay, but it doesn't mean everyone can write the best book.
Yeah.
But I still do want teleporting.
Can't we have AI work on this where we don't have to die and get home?
People said that about AI.
Yes, we had them during our COVID era.
Man, the facial recognition make it so easy to get through the airport. I love it. Yes, exactly. It's so fast.
Yeah, you have to do it when you land. It's called planning.
Well, think about email. Just that one advent has made work 24 hours, essentially.
That's nice.
Wasn't it so cozy? Everything is so soft and so comfortable and so cute. You know I have a bunch of their products I've acquired over the years, and I love them all, all for different occasions. I have that gray dress that I really love that I can dress up or down.
Yes, I have the jammies. I have the bras. The bras are really something special because it's really hard to find a good, comfortable bra that's also chic. And they have a really good one, the fits everybody t-shirt bra. It really does fit everybody. I have gifted this.
It's a big hit.
When you talk about safety, that's safety in your pocket.
I got so excited when your name came up. I was like, oh, I didn't know that you were deeply involved.
That's not why you started this.
Yeah, it's a bunch of paper.
Wait, do we want to get out your phone?
Definitely. I mean, I feel bad saying this, but that time feels lost. Like it almost feels like those episodes don't count.
So if she was on my phone, do you think she'd recommend different episodes?
Like she knows you and Bill is a great recommendation.
Does Google own any of that or no?
Well, I did think for a minute that I was getting a UTI, but I'm not. Okay.
It's my mom's fault because she— She gave you dirty underwear?
Does my laundry. No, she takes cranberry pills. She's been taking them for a long, long, long time. And she like swears by the cranberry pills. And so I started taking them for a while. And then I stopped. And so when I was home for Christmas, she was taking hers. And she said, are you still taking your cranberry pills? And I said, no, I'm not taking them anymore. And she's like, why?
I don't fuck with those anymore. Yeah. She's like, why? You should take them. Yeah. Whatever. And I was like, I'm not taking them. And then on New Year's Day, I called and we were talking about our resolutions. And she said, what are your resolutions? Cranberry pills? And I was so annoyed. I was like, no, I'm not doing it. Like three or four days later, I was like, I think I'm getting the C.I.
I had to go pick up some good old cranberry pills.
I just told her, I'm back taking the cranberry pills. I didn't tell her that.
I did not.
Yeah.
A big man.
Yeah.
He's in the hot tub.
So you thought something bad was happening?
But did it make you feel better that he was in the hot tub and laughing? Well...
And Ruthie was there, too.
It was perfect timing. She planned. She knew she was going to tell you, which I thought was a good plan, that there wasn't going to be a real jump out moment. Also, Rob and I did great acting because during that interview, we all knew.
Mainly that. In person, you can read intention. This happens a lot when we're texting. I'm like, we got to just get on the phone because I think we are not on the same page.
Of course we knew.
No, I was just like, oh, this is going to be a funny moment.
But then I also was like, if he is then mad that this is happening or anxious, we had an interview scheduled the day of your party, which was yesterday.
And it was scheduled for 2 o'clock. The party started at 5 o'clock.
And I was like, oh, no. OK, I think we should probably move up the recording. When is she going to tell him? Because he needs to have enough time to do his research. He's going to be mad if he doesn't have enough time to do his research. And if he already doesn't want the party.
He's going to be even more mad about it.
But you were very happy.
Phone now.
I do worry about that with fires, about using the fire extinguisher, because it's not something you can practice.
Yeah, I know. I have one by my bed, and I look at it a lot, and I think, I don't really know how.
Yeah, exactly.
There's a video of Taylor Swift trying to use one in her kitchen. And she's also like, what the fuck?
She did end up doing a good job, as she always does.
Yeah, in her kitchen.
Exactly. Exactly.
She's like, this whole area is about to- Yes.
You finally got Los Feliz.
Yeah, but you can drown in them. I should say.
But also, you know, that horrible story. And I don't know all the details, so I don't. And it's very sad. But Mitch McConnell's sister-in-law.
Yes. And a Tesla and like couldn't get out and died. Oh. And I think it might have to do with that Tesla. It probably shuts down in water.
Well, apparently people like came and tried and they were there and they couldn't.
Yeah, I probably talked about it before.
Yeah, now I have window smashers. Oh, nice. Aaron, I have an update for you. Oh, please. I think one of the last times you were here, we were talking about my running experience.
Yes, and I want you to know, since then, a sign has been put on the yard, not by me, that says no, it says no dogs allowed slash no trespassing. I forget exactly what it says.
It says something explicit, like no more of this. Really? So it was solved for me.
Oh, no.
Okay, so what's the update on that?
Are you making...
Maybe it can be a joint, Aaron's hair, because then we can really get some movement on it.
Okay, so you think it's coarser.
Okay, well, you don't have to have cashmere. We can do mohair for you.
Well, she can't touch the cashmere then.
Can you just keep, like, grow it out just so we can see how long it gets?
Well, 50, you know. Not Aaron.
It was a yacht rock theme.
Adam Perry Lang made barbecue.
It was incredible.
I just had the pork.
Yeah. So insane.
They were so good. And the cornbread was so good.
At a roller skating rink.
It was really sweet of him to do that. He's a very nice man.
I've also enlisted him to teach Kristen how to make crepes for Christmas one year, her birthday, I forget. And like got her all the machinery and stuff. And now she knows how to make crepes.
A gatekeeper came through here, but not always.
Well, exactly.
I thought I had to. craving for crepes like three days ago and it was 9 p.m so i didn't think it was possible for me to get it but i wanted it so bad and then the next day i told her i was craving them she said i'll make them for you and then guess what the word was on wordle today crepes plural or singular singular isn't that weird that's suspicious
He really did.
It was perfect.
Captain's outfit. It was white.
Love boat or whatever.
What's that other one where they're all shipwrecked?
This is like Mandela effect. We all just think we know these captains have pipes, but none of them do.
I have. But then it was your birthday. And so I thought, I got to do it for your birthday.
I did it. You did quite a bit of skating. I did like 12 laps or something.
I had multiple sessions. Even after eating, I put them back on.
I did where I learned to ride my bike.
Yeah, I got a little nervous not having been on them for a couple years. And I was first to arrive at the party. And so I just went out on my own and did a little practice. Yeah. Found my sea legs. I'm not good on them. And I don't, Ryan tried to help me. He was like, you know, go more side to side. I go more front to back, I guess.
It's sort of my proprietary move. So I'm just not very good at it, but it's fine. It's hard for me to not be good at it. But yes, you kill it.
Oh, is that what you were trying to do?
No, I knew you were doing something with joy, but I didn't know that was happening.
But then you will fall. So you're choosing.
Well, once you're feeling it, like everyone's going to try. And that's what I don't do. I just do half because I don't want to fall. And I don't fall. So that's great. Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Ana fell last time.
Everyone also, you see it and then you just like, you kind of look away. Let people recover on their own.
Did you try it? Yeah, I did. I hadn't had it before. I loved it.
Yeah, I loved it. That's not your thing?
It was really good.
Yeah. Same.
It was a lovely party.
Did you have the moment where you were like, oh, all these people I've collected.
To anyone who went.
It was really fun.
Good.
I mean, when you were blowing out your candle, I looked around and I was like, oh, this is so lovely.
So it was a really good group. I felt lucky that I was I had been collected. Oh, over the 50 years. I was happy to be there.
I had so many. I had one I can't repeat.
I can't because it's not about him. Okay.
Jesus. He never fails. I think I know every, I think there's not one thing you can say that will get me. And man, man does he. I got to talk to Joy. I ate with her and that was so nice. I hadn't talked to her in a long time.
So awesome.
Uh-huh.
Really fun to talk to Nate and talk to see Nate in such a long time.
It's kind of your birthday, too. You get to take. You guys get to share birthdays.
I know. So we just got to have them all.
Would you have been upset if it was a real surprise? I guess there's no way to know.
Oh, like the spa? No. Because there's no chatting. Yeah. The mall, I guess.
I'd go shopping with her.
My pants just fell off. Exploded. My underwear fell off. I don't know if I can go shopping with them. That's confusing.
I guess we would go to their store. Okay. And I'm thinking, what do you guys think I should get? I'll pay. And they'll be like, I know you'll pay. We don't give discounts.
I'll roller skate for you, but I won't smoke a cigarette for you. So we go to bed early.
You feel happy today?
When you were little?
Okay, should we do a little just quick facts?
Yeah, this is for Reid Hoffman.
You said that Martin Luther raised literacy rates from 3% to 95%.
According to AI, while there isn't a precise percentage readily available to quantify how much Martin Luther raised literacy rates, historical research indicates that the Protestant Reformation, largely driven by Luther's teaching, significantly increased literacy levels across Europe, with some studies showing a difference of nearly 20 percentage points between predominantly Protestant and Catholic regions.
Essentially, areas with the larger progeny population had substantially higher literacy rates. But there's no percentage.
But you got it from weirdest people on Earth. Joseph Hendrick. Joey Hendrick. Go back and listen to that one. Is our unemployment rate as low as it's ever been? The unemployment rate was 3.4% in January and April 2023, the lowest in 55 years.
The last time the unemployment rate in the U.S. was this low was in the first five months of 1969. The average unemployment rate during the Biden administration was 4.1%. Really low.
Yeah. 1984 did come out in 1949. But we think he wrote it in 1948.
And we still think that's true. Yeah. But it did not come out until 49. The price of Bitcoin today is $104,627.70.
Their names are Ilya Dutch Lichtenstein and Heather Razzlecon Morgan.
Yeah. I don't know if that was even COVID. He just didn't want to come.
This, yeah, this makes me feel sad, actually.
Now worth $10.8 billion.
It was stolen from Bitfinex or Bitfinex. I don't know. And it's a Hong Kong based virtual cryptocurrency exchange. So that's yikes.
Yes, we did. Well, that was of.
A lot of money.
Oh, I have a thing marked here. So you made a car. You designed a car using AI. Yes. And you decided you wanted to show it.
Oh, my God.
Exciting. All on AI?
I played around with some merch stuff on AI. That was fun. Ooh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
What is John Player?
I love this one.
That's really cool.
And like underneath it just squiggles kind of like.
Yeah, but what's on the side?
It's a beer hops. Yeah. Probably.
Okay.
Get the hell out of here. Would you say a crow with a cherry?
I didn't realize she used AI for it. She must have. Well, that's that.
Those are the facts.
Go to YouTube and watch it.
Yeah, that's how I feel about taxes. I'm happy to give a lot of money away. I should probably want to keep it, hoard it. But I do think it's telling that this is actually against my own benefit, but I believe it as a value that it's important for society.
Yeah, you're right.
Wow.
You're not going to take the copy of it.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, good.
I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah.
In any moment ever. Because you're in your head, you want it to look a certain way. You have to be aware.
Staircase is something else. You talked about staircase.
The fact check is just going to be a list of staircase fucking.
Yeah, he's a nice guy.
I have never read a DocuSign in my life. But it is aspirational.
We like Seth.
It's an employee.
You don't have children. I don't have children.
Yeah, me too. Yeah.
Oh my God. That'd be hilarious.
Yeah, that's a hard.
I don't know. I still kind of think it's a good idea.
What about when they're old? Give them some amount, but not too much. Spend it all. Spend it all.
Yeah, exactly.
You will never regret that.
I'm struggling with this currently very much.
No, just kids versus...
feeling very free i really really like feeling very are you a married person i'm not married and i don't have children i literally have nothing except that house i'm building for me only that's great i mean it does feel great actually then i'm like oh am i gonna regret it later is it gonna feel empty later i mean there's just so much that i struggle with i like being able to go on vacation and
Do it up. Fly first class. Stay in the hotel.
Exactly. I'm also very scared of that, too.
Oh, what happened? I already informed him about the robbery. It's related. Okay.
Oh, no, you were pushing.
It's kind of cool you were a part of that. That's a cool deathbed. It is.
And they know we're going to obviously replace the cameras. We have to.
Like Diddy. I mean, it's not going to happen now that those jokes aren't going to pop up at the shows and stuff. You're just like waiting for it.
He didn't even earn this. He didn't deserve it.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Four minutes after.
You need a rule. Maybe no cutting before an interview.
Thank you. Thank you.
peek behind the curtain, he was going to be a Monday.
Yeah, that was fun for us.
Because obviously he would be a Monday. But then it got really interesting. We got into a lot of filmmaking stuff and it was so cool that it was like, no, you know what?
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Yeah. It's kind of impressive because he was fine.
There's no cuts.
Because it's a team sport. Everyone has to hit everything perfectly.
The whole episode is a winner? Yeah.
For 30 minutes. That is really impressive.
It's magic. Holy shit. Did you direct it?
No, this is so stressful.
I'm falling. There's thugs in the show.
That's why people like doing theater because it's everyone coming together.
That's the point of it.
We love fears. We love vulnerable.
There's something so kids in a playground about it.
Ultimately, he has to say yes.
She's also an acting robot. She would have killed those waters.
I have to tell Martin Scorsese what to do.
I complimented Seth's outfit when he got here. It's very nice. Are those Bottega shoes?
Yes, yes, very nice.
You can do that when you don't have kids. You can spend all your money on clothes.
I always ask this when we have people on who are in a parade of partnerships where one person's more of the face. And same with Ike and Dave. Has there ever been tension there?
Get Evan in here.
Because they drink, right?
Because sometimes that gets tricky. We had also Phineas with Billy, obviously. I was like, how are you guys doing it in a way that, but some people just don't care.
Because it's not that easy for us. It's a little more complicated, I think.
Things are getting real hairy for a second there.
It's true. But when you're in it, you can feel like I'm not getting this recognition. I'm not getting this. I could see for Evan or Dave or for Phineas, like no one knows what I'm doing. Maybe they don't.
Well, Phineas said something really interesting. He said, actually, I get attention, but it matters that Billy gives me the recognition. If she wasn't doing it, then yeah, I'd have a problem with it. If within the partnership, there wasn't that acknowledgement.
And then Barbie comes out.
You don't have any capital.
Oh! Oh my gosh. You're excited because you're getting a boat today.
It's Christmas for this little boy and he's so excited.
You're very excited.
Then see Sim.
Because by the time you got your boat, it's the best. It's much better. Don't look at me like that.
Okay, let's hear it.
What is a pontoon?
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I just did it.
,,,,,,,,. P P P P P P PG實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a en a
It's Diagon Alley. Diagon Alley. It is a pyramid shape.
Listen, what if you had taken Saltpeter and she had taken Spanish Fly?
That's a bad match.
That's so weird that then you loved that drug because you loved having sex.
And you'd rather poop in the bed.
Speaking of ER. No, you did poop in the bed once.
So that's my point. Anywho, I'm glad for you that you had sex in the stairwell.
I guess that's right.
No, yeah. I just had like a very prudish judgment.
No, it was just like, I don't think she's okay.
I'm sorry you asked, and I wanted to be honest.
No, I know. That's why.
I said it was a prudish judgment.
And it's not necessarily true, but.
What if you had killed her? What?
I was a nice boy. You know.
No, that's not how it works. They're there knowing they're going to be charming and Ted Bundy.
No, they are to lure.
No, not Ted Bundy. Oh, yeah. Not Ted Bundy. He was hot and out and about.
Whatever. He was still playing it. He was still luring.
Well, rapists.
No, I'm saying, okay, I'm saying that just because you're having fun in a bar and you're fun doesn't mean you're safe.
I know. I'm not talking about you anymore. Okay. I'm not talking about you. Okay.
Yeah, or a rapist.
You're going to get in so much trouble for this.
No. They act like they're going to hook up with someone and then they rape them or kill them. This is common.
So my point is I just don't know if she's still with us.
I'm sure she was.
That was in a stairwell too?
Right, right, right.
Okay. Oh my God. The next movie is Impulse. The Thomas Crown Affair.
Serve the people, misty the room.
Yeah, me too. Okay. Okay. Existing record for a one-er. Several movies have been filmed to appear as if they are shot in one continuous uninterrupted take, including 1917, Birdman, Children of Men, Silent House. Okay. Now, hold on. I'm going to pull up another article here. Okay. Goodfellas.
That's three minutes.
Yeah. Well, it was early. It was early days of winners. Creed, four minutes. Atonement, five and a half minutes. Children of Men, six minutes. 1917, eight minutes. Extraction, 12 minutes. Birdman, 15 minutes.
Gravity, 17 minutes.
We both have money. So you can't tell yourself, oh, it's because I need it. There has to be something else sort of happening. Someone's just telling you what to do. It's not like, oh, I have a skill.
Boiling Point, 92 minutes.
Russian arc, 96 minutes.
So many stunts.
That's, you did brown face?
Okay, that's it for Seth. We love Seth.
Me too. Bye.
You can't say it didn't work.
But I haven't seen the last episode.
I'm still dying to see it.
That is similar, actually. It's also shot so beautifully.
I could see you on White Lotus.
Saying it here.
It's all about those hands.
I lump him in with Chelsea Handler. of people in this industry who are extremely generous. They say yes all the time if you ask a favor. I don't think people really know that about him, but he is.
You were playing it like hard to get.
Can you remove yourself? Leighton and Adam are talking about this too. She's like, when I watch the show, I don't see him. I can't really do that. Every time I watch Kristen, I see her.
Well, yeah, you're a human. I mean, even when you say the bullseye thing, in general, we have our best and worst selves with our most intimate people.
Emotionally, or you know how some people are like, I'm an HSP and I can't wear these clothes.
Hopefully will help a lot of people.
Which we've had a Jenny Tates we had on was also a DBT specialist.
For people who are around that type of behavior, who don't identify, is it okay to abandon them? I'm thinking of one very specific person in my life, and I did do that. I have a lot of guilt because I do know, oh God, this is like the worst thing to do. It confirmed it, but I can't.
Aguirre.
This gets tricky, though, because if you know someone well, I mean, let's depersonalize it. No, I'm going to personalize it.
The reason I can do this is because I don't think you have this, but I do think for both of us, we know each other's triggers. So I'm going to try not to throw a bunch of peanuts in your face because I know that causes pain or that is going to cause a huge reaction. So I am avoiding it, but out of care.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Not very well, but... And it's painful to unearth all of this stuff. Exactly. So it's going to just exacerbate the situation.
Have you been to San Sebastian?
Yeah, we went.
I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess if you had proof.
You should get me in the room. I'm easily convinced.
Yes, we have.
That is a weird self-fulfilling prophecy too, because of course you're not a burden, but people are worried about you when you're in that state.
Nobody taught me.
Aguirre.
They could hear that.
It's almost self-aggrandize. It's putting way too much.
Well, that's the benefit of going to other cultures because... American pathology is different than other countries. It's not all the same thing. And so to know that we just defined it.
Well, what was happening with her that she did that?
That's good.
You don't really know me.
You can, but I want to push back on that too because you hate advocates.
They're often connected to a victim. There's a reason that people become advocates. Normally people don't just stand up and become an advocate for something for no reason.
No, but if someone was talking about alcoholism and they were calling people a bunch of drunks and fuck ups, I'd be like, no, that's not correct. And I don't feel shame that you're an addict.
I feel a responsibility as someone who knows more about it than the average person to say, actually, that's incorrect. Here's the reality.
Was he the first Dax you ever met?
We sometimes talk out of school on it.
Okay.
That'll happen. Yeah.
That'll happen.
Oh, my Lord.
Yeah, cookie boys do like to tinker.
My internet was out at the beginning of the morning. Wow, unacceptable. I know. And I got a text from AT&T saying so, but I thought it was spam. Sure. Or a trick. I thought it was a trick and a way for them to take all my money. So I didn't click it.
Yes.
Mystery.
They did?
You're never supposed to click on it.
No, you don't click on it ever.
Yeah, well, I didn't click on it, and I was wrong. They were, that was real.
Because my internet was out. But then it came back.
Then it came back. But I do this, right? I like plan. I plan my morning or my getting ready to the minute, which is a problem.
But I I'm a busy girl.
And I have a lot to fit in there. But then the makeup, okay, that's going to take seven minutes. And then it takes seven and a half. And then you add a half minute to each of these line items and you're late.
Yeah, we try to fix those things by having someone who really knows in the room.
And the ROI is low. It's not good.
You've become the person you've always hated.
Oh my God, tell me because I'm into pranks now.
Yes, your little baby friend.
Oh, yeah.
And she calls Kristen, your wife, Aunt Kristen.
Previously, Dax's mom.
Oh, my God. I'm scared for her to give me a name.
What if she started calling me... Dex, what about your Indian friend?
Yeah.
I know. I think I may have made a mistake on this front.
No, I told Delta the other day I did a pop out. I pop out here. I walked by and I decided to go pop into my house. And as I was walking by your fence, I heard you grunt.
I said, hi. And you kind of like jerked around. This is why I'm into pranks now, actually. Because it was actually very funny because you got really spooked.
Yeah, it was really funny. Come on, God damn it. You said, who's saying hi?
You got into that mode where you were scared.
It's Monica. I'm here. I'm over here by the fence. I'm Monica, your Indian friend. I'm over here by the fence.
So then, yeah, you came over and then Delta came over. And so we were chit-chatting a lot. And yeah, she mentioned that there was going to be a young girl.
She's so cute.
was anticipating being, you know, a little overwhelmed. But really her ire was towards Lincoln.
She was like, Lincoln shuts the door and then I have to just play by myself with her. And also she looks at me and she says, please take care of it. And then I do. And I just, I don't want to do that this time. And I said, well, that's good. That's boundaries. You can. So I taught her a
Oh, nice.
She laughed?
That is funny.
Ooh, I just got mirror neurons, though. Like, I'm back to not liking pranks anymore.
I would have cried. And then I would have felt bad that I was crying because I would know everyone else felt bad.
But I wouldn't be able to help myself.
Pranks are tricky.
Well, that's good.
No, he didn't.
No, you made her turn on her grandpa.
But the reason the grandpa said it is because she's a little liar and she's running around telling lies. And the grandpa's basically saying, don't you do that.
You don't need to make up a whole thing with her eyes.
You do, but not everyone does that.
Aguirre.
Although, don't they say that about hazel? It's like sometimes you're green, sometimes you're blue.
Yeah.
It's very ephemeral. It changes. It moves. It's amorphous.
Okay. This is back to me really wishing I had green eyes since I learned they're the rarest.
We already talked about this. We already did this. I guess I kind of knew in my heart of hearts.
Hmm.
Well, no.
Well, brown, yeah. Brown's a dime a dozen.
I know, but like, it's just you always want, the grass is always greener when your eyes are green.
Yeah, no, I, Rob, what color are your eyes? Brown? Blue.
Why?
Yeah. That's a hard one.
Blue.
Because I know that because we're talking about it. I think I sort of thought blue eyes were the rarest.
I like blue eyes the most.
Okay, Callie. She has green eyes.
Let me text her. Well, what's solid green? Is there such a thing? Callie might be mad because now we're back to the thing.
She doesn't. Okay. She either has green or hazel.
My friend Gina, green or hazel.
These are two people.
All right.
Okay, so evens, even Stevens.
What does Kristen have? Blue. Blue. And the kids have blue? Yeah. See, I'm not paying much attention.
I know, but- They're generically blonde. I think I don't, you know, people think eyes are like the window to the soul. Yeah. And I guess I get, like, when I look, like, in your eyes, I get it.
Right.
But I guess I'm never looking. Yeah.
Your eyes are like... Shit blue? Don't say that when you know I have brown eyes. That's so insensitive. Yours are like grayish blue.
Yeah, which is nice.
Aw.
What are his eyes? His eyes are probably green.
That's his hair.
Color your eyes, question mark.
Who else should I insult?
Actually, when I'm like all my, all the girls in the pod, I'm really trying to think.
I don't know. Yeah. And the boys, I guess I hate eyes.
Okay. We have a really important thing to do today.
It's a quiz.
foot book the quasi oh no but we should okay do it next week tune in next week for us saying we'll do it the following week for the green so what quiz is this okay this is highly sensitive person quiz oh wonderful because this is for blaze stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare Now.
I'd like to do it.
Okay, now discover your personality. Choose your gender to start.
Okay. You find it easy to make new friends. Strongly agree, agree, neutral, disagree, strongly disagree.
You could spend days learning about random things that interest you.
When others are upset, you feel upset too.
Which one? Agree or strongly agree?
You aren't one for backup plans.
Okay. You stay cool, calm, and collected even when under lots of stress.
Which one?
Yeah.
Oh, my God, yeah.
Yes. Oh, wow. Okay. When...
Yeah.
Right. When your car's on fire, yeah. Okay, when out and about, you don't really introduce yourself to new people. You prefer to chat with people you already know.
Yeah.
Okay.
So regs?
Neutral or agree?
Okay. Yeah, because part of your thing is that you like talking to strangers.
I understand.
Yeah.
Right. Yeah.
Oh, no.
Callie's friend is so cool.
I know. It feels like. You have to be on in a little bit of a different way.
I'm like a no across the board. I don't want to talk to strangers. And I don't want to talk to periphery friends either.
Okay. You don't like to start a new project until the first one's finished.
Okay. You're a sentimental type of person.
You enjoy using lists or schedules.
Okay. Making a small mistake can make you question your knowledge on a subject.
Neutral or agree?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You easily spark up a conversation with a stranger.
You love talking about and analyzing creative works.
You follow your heart more than your head.
I'm open to your... You follow your heart more than your head.
I do too.
Yeah, so agree.
You tend to prefer following a daily routine as opposed to just doing whatever you want.
When you meet new people, you worry about whether you made a great first impression. Five, yeah. You prefer solo activities over group activities.
You love watching movies that let you interrupt. Oh.
Interrupting.
I wrote. What if I. Yeah. I started changing the quiz.
You love to interrupt. What do you think?
You love watching movies that let you interpret the ending yourself. That's a good question.
You get more happiness from achieving things yourself than you do from helping others.
You aren't interested in very many things.
You often worry about the worst possible scenario in any given situation. You love taking up leadership roles.
You are an artistic type of person.
The world would be better off if people made more decisions with their feelings.
I strongly disagree.
Well, you work with your heart.
Okay. You prefer to relax before getting into chores.
Yeah, so you're.
You don't mind when other people are having a heated argument in front of you. Oh, this is interesting.
So you- Is horny an option?
You like being the center of attention.
Your mood is generally pretty stable.
You have plenty of patience for people that aren't as efficient as you.
Strongly.
You're spontaneous.
You have always been fascinated by the question of what, if anything, happens after death.
You prefer to be on your own rather than with others.
You have a hard time empathizing with people who come from a very different lifestyle to your own. Hmm? Interesting.
You have a hard time empathizing with people who come from a very different.
I know.
I'm going to say something ballsy right now.
I think that has more to do with your contrarianism than it does with your empathy.
And I mean that positively. I think you always want to look at the other side and you don't like a status quo.
And in Michigan, there was a status quo about people and I think it was not empathy that drove you.
No, I wouldn't use.
I actually mean more like I think currently you can't empathize with like a very hyper liberal person. And that is from where they come from, too.
So neutral.
When there's a decision to be made, you want to make it right away.
Four or five?
You tend to second guess the decisions you make.
Socializing quickly exhausts you.
If you start socializing, are you quickly exhausted?
You enjoy going to art museums.
I went to one recently and it was lovely. I went by myself.
This one in Echo Park. Oh. And I went to see this awesome artist. Her name is Sophie. I'm already a fan of hers and she had an exhibit there. So I went and I got a coffee and I went by myself and I felt so cultured.
But there was only like, I was in and out pretty quick. Yeah.
I see. Yeah. This is a ding, ding, ding for my other fact, which isn't a fact, but is flower poopy. The flower puppy. Um, outside the Guggenheim in Bilbao.
Frank Gehry designed building. I went there.
Yeah. That came up in this episode.
And I just, I went there with Callie and, um, it was great.
I loved it.
And I'd like to go back.
Okay. You struggle to understand what others are feeling.
Disagree. Okay. You like to have a to-do list for each day.
You often feel insecure.
Disagree?
You prefer talking to people on the phone over texting or messaging them.
When someone has a different perspective on a subject than you, you genuinely try to understand where they're coming from.
I think so. You find that telling the cold, hard truth is more important than being tactful.
You're happy to go with the flow when your plans are interrupted.
Mistakes you made in the past often haunt your mind.
You feel energized after spending time alone, engaging in solitary activities like reading or reflecting.
Okay. You prefer to rely on your instincts rather than sticking strictly to a set plan or schedule.
You often find yourself deeply contemplating the underlying meanings and implications of things rather than focusing solely on the surface details.
I think.
No, I think you're... Strongly agree?
When making decisions, you prioritize logic and objective analysis over considering how it might impact others' feelings.
You often find yourself worrying about potential future outcomes or what could go wrong in a given situation. You often find yourself drawn to new experiences and enjoy exploring unfamiliar places. Strongly agree. You tend to trust your gut feelings and intuition when faced with difficult decisions rather than relying solely on logical analysis.
You feel a strong sense of empathy towards others and are often affected by their emotions, even if they don't directly involve you.
I didn't say that. Okay. You prefer to have a well-structured plan in place Rather than leaving things up to chance or improvisation.
When faced with a problem, you're more inclined to seek out practical solutions rather than dwelling on abstract theories or hypothetical scenarios. That's a hard one.
Okay. You enjoy engaging in deep, meaningful conversations with others. Yes, I agree. You often find yourself reflecting on past experiences and considering how they've shaped your beliefs and values.
You're inclined to take charge in group settings, assuming leadership roles and guiding others.
Oh, my God. OK, you feel most comfortable when your environment is organized and structured and you may feel stressed or unsettled and chaotic or unpredictable situations.
I know.
You know, like I am, yeah, I'm a little bit of a... You prefer spending time with a small group of close friends rather than attending large social gatherings.
Four or five? When presented with multiple options, you tend to follow your heart and make decisions based on what feels right in the moment.
That's how all these are.
When presented with multiple options, you tend to follow your heart and make decisions based on what feels right in the moment.
Okay.
You find it easy to adapt to changes in plans or unexpected situations.
Often seeing them as opportunities for growth and learning.
When working on a project, do you value efficiency and strive to complete tasks quickly and effectively?
You often seek out opportunities to challenge yourself and push your limits, whether it's through physical activities or intellectual pursuits. Strongly agree. You prefer to focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on past regrets or worrying about future uncertainties.
You enjoy engaging in lively debates and discussions, sharing your, yep.
Okay. You have a strong desire for structure and order in your daily life, feeling most at ease when following a clear routine or schedule.
You tend to be proactive in seeking out new experiences and opportunities. Embracing change is a natural part of life.
Okay. You feel energized and excited. By social interactions. Often seeking out opportunities to meet new people.
No, but it is different. Often seeking out opportunities to meet new people.
Okay. When making decisions, you prioritize logical reasoning and objective analysis, considering the facts and evidence before reaching a conclusion.
You tend to be highly self-critical and introspective, frequently reflecting on your actions and decisions and striving for self-improvement.
You often find yourself empathizing with others' emotions, even if you haven't experienced the same situation yourself, and strive to offer support and understanding.
Regs disagree.
You prefer to have a clear plan and direction in life, setting specific goals and working diligently to achieve them.
um regs agree okay what is your current relationship status um married yeah but five what is it no now it's oh now we're okay married married how long is your current relationship six plus years how many relationships have you been in oh god there's zero one two three four four plus four plus four plus Oh, wow. This is personal.
How satisfied are you with your current relationship? We have dissatisfied, somewhat satisfied, mostly satisfied, very satisfied.
No, it's 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s. And above. 60 plus.
But it's just weird to say 50s.
Right, no.
Okay, may I submit.
What the fuck? I have to pay it.
Oh my God.
I mean, it is Blossom.co.
But some of their questions were good and repetitive.
You didn't love it.
It was $1.99.
Oh, you can take more quizzes.
Oh, that's fun. Okay. Well, let's find it. Be my results. Show me. Oh, no.
No, this just isn't about, this isn't.
You're an ENTJ.
Oh, no. This wasn't even a highly sensitive person.
It was like, you know, those it's called something and it's it's a personality type.
It is, but it's like a really common one. You're an EN or an INFG.
I think it's Myers-Briggs, maybe. Let's see. ENTJ personality.
It's Myers-Briggs. That's like the original one. So that's cool. Now you know.
You're an ENTJ. That's a confident leader.
That tracks. 76% extroversion.
Method of processing information, 81% intuition. ENTJs are intuitive thinkers fascinated by possibilities, patterns, and future outcomes. Interesting, okay. 55% thinking.
Well, because it's either, so it's introversion versus extroversion. That's the I and the E. Intuition versus sensing.
That's your method of processing information, your intuition. Decision-making functioning is thinking or feeling. You're thinking, but at 55%.
And then management function is judging or perceiving, and you're 61% judging. Hmm. Wow. What a left turn. We still don't know if you're highly sensitive.
They tricked me.
Oh, yeah. Green hats.
Oh, what a mess of a fact check. All right.
That was it.
Yeah, you can't diagnose it really because who's coming in?
It's the scariest one because they're in it in such a way that they don't want to feel better.
Okay.
I know I'm already scared. Every time we have someone on who's speaking about psychology, I think I have it.
It's so interesting. We do love a deep dive into a personality disorder.
I'm going to go and save my house. They're like living and survivors. In many cases, yeah.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Oh, my God.
The shock on the face is what they're after.
People might not know.
You had what the kids have in the elementary school.
So it was in a tank?
Yeah, it's like waterboarding.
Did you fall asleep when you were buried alive?
The designer?
Oh, we love James Purse.
The control of it.
I know. I'm Neil Padman.
Yeah.
That's wild.
Oh no, don't get any ideas from this room.
Yeah. Do you feel relief when you're done with one of those or do you feel elation?
But I mean like the burial, things you've completed yourself, when you're done, when they let you out of the ice, well, I guess your brain is kind of fucked up. But is the feeling relief or is it, yes, I did it?
Present.
For that long?
But then he's just getting cut and bleeding.
So people could hear you?
Right. It's very similar to an Olympic athlete, training your brain to just keep going and pushing.
No. I think you're working much harder than they are really.
That's true. But that's a mindset that you know the end. You hope you know the end, but you might not because you don't know how your body is going to really react.
You anticipate the end, which I think athletes do that.
Yeah. People don't like being on the outside of something or feeling like I can't do that.
Before.
Stakes.
Yeah.
You'd think you'd have like all these holes in your face.
It's funny to me that you think what they're doing is wild. To me, it's the same. Eating glass and cracking a bottle. In fact, cracking a bottle over your head to me is like, it happens at a bar.
Okay, okay.
But eating glass is the same, just so you know, from an audience perspective. I mean, you saw it, so maybe to you, you could say it differently.
We should make a fine podcast.
So you're doing it and you're not bleeding when you eat glass. Wow.
Yeah, I've had two magician birthday parties as an adult.
I love it. I went to a really good magic show in New York. Now I don't remember his name.
No, it was at the Nomad Hotel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Dan. Oh, my God. It was so good. I cried.
Goodbye.
Yeah, it's admirable.
Yeah, thanks for coming.
Okay, I have an update. Something wild happened yesterday.
Mm-hmm. I went somewhere. I won't say where.
I went somewhere and I basically witnessed... This person, I don't know. I thought he was just very, very, very drunk. Uh-huh. But then I was told that maybe he was on, like, a drug by someone who could tell.
And it was so scary. Oh. Like, he was, like, falling. This other girl was like, that was really scary. Seen this person there before. Uh-huh. And I do sometimes wonder, in general, like...
Yeah, is this person okay? But nothing has ever been this extreme, and it was really, really crazy.
Yes.
I mean, they were on the phone and kind of just screaming on the phone, but just, like, stumbling around the whole place and falling down.
Yeah.
The day after we recorded. So like 3.30? On a Tuesday. Yeah.
It was really scary. Uh-huh. And then my friend went up and said to the manager, just, hey— You need to keep an eye on this person. Really doesn't seem okay.
And the manager said, do you know who he is?
Exactly. Yeah. And that, to me, is what I've just been sitting with. Like, so... And obviously, I can't give too many details, but this is a person that... they don't want to lose, I guess, as a client? Maybe?
Oh, no. I don't think it was that.
Right. Yeah. Let him do his thing. But that would be at, like, a certain type of bar or something. You could do that. But not here. Not a nice place. Yeah. Yeah. And it, like... It was scary to me. It was scary to another guest. Like, it was causing concern. And so this idea that, like, do you know who that is was very upsetting to me because I was like, So you're going to let him die? Right.
Because you don't want to say anything? Yeah. It was really scary. And then my friend was like, I don't care who it is. I mean, he knew who it was, but he was like, I don't care who it is. People are scared. I also know who your friend is.
I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know. I feel really freaked out by it.
I do.
Yeah. And I don't know if it's addict, but it's more like... This deeper, that person might die.
And I might see it or I might have like been not a part of it, but kind of a part of it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It reminds me of when I was in high school and I went to the mall with Callie and we saw this like weird thing happen where this person, woman was wheeling her husband in a wheelchair, but then like something was happening with the woman and the guy got out and the woman got in the wheelchair. And I was like, yeah, they had to switch.
I didn't know if she was having a heart attack. And of course, like, you know, the people were running out of the stores to like help. And I thought about, I still have that memory and I thought about it for weeks. Like I could not, it's almost OCD. Yeah.
It becomes an obsession.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll be there in a couple days.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's like you're lovey.
What if the money actually cured? You don't know.
Yeah, you didn't think about that.
Do you still have it?
Oh, that would be cool.
Exactly. Like, buddy, you're driving away.
What's the line that you draw at a bar or something? Because yeah, people are there a little fucked up. I mean, that's the point of the place, you know? So it's tricky.
Yeah.
It also just, it depends on the place itself. Also, what do you do? You tell them to leave and what if they drive home?
That's my question. Like what do you do?
Oh.
Oh, yeah. Anyway. As fast as you can.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, probably. I mean, my friend didn't feel the way I felt. he wasn't worried. Right. Like, he wasn't like, that person's gonna die like I was.
Right.
He was more like, this can't, this is an unacceptable thing to be happening at this establishment.
I know. Yeah. I know, little mini adventures all the time.
I know. I think a lot of people think we're together. In some ways we are, I guess.
Yeah. Well, I actually, I brought you up at, so we left to go to dinner. And it was really like I was, I was not. Frazzled. Yeah, I was frazzled. Exactly. Because of everything. And so I was feeling a little like I could tell that I was getting annoyed. But it was because of this other thing. I just like didn't feel good. Yeah. So I had to tell myself like don't take it out on Jess.
Like don't take this feeling out on him right now. Yeah. He's like the easiest person for me to take it out on. So don't do that. Yeah. And I feel like I didn't. But then we got to the restaurant and the server was so nice, so awesome. And Jess was just being like his like gregarious. He was just being his gregarious self and being funny and making jokes. And I was like, why can't you just not?
have to do that. Like, why can't you just say thanks instead of doing this whole show? And then, and I, and I like looked at him and I, and I said, it's so interesting that I am, obviously I am attracted, drawn to people who, Who can't stop themselves from putting on a show.
Yes. There are so many times we're sitting in here and I'm like, why are you not stopping?
Yes, yes, yes.
And it's the same thing with him. And, and. It's clear that it's me that needs or likes it. Yeah. Even though on the surface, I don't.
It's weird.
I just tap out like I like it for a second. But both of you sometimes just.
That was funny to me.
Maybe.
Yeah, it had wheels.
I did think that was funny. I don't know what the line is.
I know. I don't really know. Well, he does silly things like that that don't. It's when it involves other people.
Well, oh, my God. This is back to yesterday's fact check or last week's fact check with the three of us where ultimately I think maybe I feel like, why do you get to do that?
I had no option. There was no option for me to be like, my bag!
Being a weirdo is like the last thing I can think.
Ooh.
No, I know. You're not hurting anyone.
See, you say that's not hurting people, but I think it is.
And you guys know I love magic. And we get to see some David Blaine magic in real life. He does magic for us.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I'm sure they did.
Oh, fun.
But you kept it a secret.
Because you were embarrassed?
Yeah, you have Hannes.
And you don't experience it.
Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Oh. But not every time you go.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Oh. So no one was in there? No one was in there.
That's a lot. There probably was, there's probably just something you're a little, you're allergic to in that food.
And left it all at the restaurant. Yeah, a public bathroom situation, I don't like it.
But that wasn't a public bathroom. That was a private bathroom.
This is for David Blaine.
And actually, Aaron was here when David Blaine was here.
Damn it, I wish I could have watched some of this.
Watched all the magic. God, it was such a cool thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, do not attempt.
Oh, yeah. He said don't watch India.
Yeah.
I don't know why for some reason. I just have to watch it because the way both of you were talking about it is with such like... And for some reason, that doesn't sound that bad to me. Is it because I'm Indian?
Oh.
Man, I don't like glass, but it... It just cuts so weird.
Yeah.
Instead of, like, he's Dumbledore, like, the happy one.
David signed a card for me that's up there that's really exciting.
Yeah, it's not. We might be getting video because when David's publicist was here and she took video, so hopefully we'll get it. But yeah, there was a trick that happened after the cameras were off.
Oh, that one. Okay.
Oh, I think watch is craziest. Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
He said, does this have anything to do with your thing?
Because my thing was Gossip Girl.
Oh, and there was one more piece. So it was Think Gossip Girl. Then give a clue. So, like, I had to say a clue to you. You were technically supposed to be guessing. And I had to—
give you a clue that wasn't a big giveaway and what was your and i said the met i think oh my god yeah so i would think art then i would think picasso yeah and then i don't remember then how we got into him writing the words but then yeah it was gossip yeah it wasn't i'm like how does he know she thought of gossip girl
And even TV out of the millions of categories.
It was scary.
And, like, I had picked the card. It wasn't that, because everyone I tell this to, they're like, did he hug? It's like, no, no, no, no. This was way late into the game. You may be hugged when you walked in, maybe, but I picked the card during the And then it's unfolded up under his watch.
I know.
I know.
He got so scared. It was great.
It was definitely a, like, that's a once-in-a-lifetime moment to get magic from David Blaine. Wow. One-on-one. Very, very cool. Okay, a couple facts. Bobby Sands, he died in 66 Days Hunger Strike. He was a member of the Provisional Irish Republican Army, the IRA. Okay. And he helped plan a bombing.
I had no feelings about it.
And it's the same thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
Okay. After 28 days of fasting, he said you get a pear taste in your mouth. Which we are kind of jealous of.
He did 30-something days.
Yeah, he almost died because then he went to the hospital after and all his phosphate levels were like completely dropped.
Yeah.
Ew.
That's why it's so funny, because when he's talking about the Indian— guys who do the bottle over the head, he's like, he's shocked. And I'm like staring at him like, are you kidding me? You buried yourself alive. That's way crazier. Okay. So when Foss... What is this alarm telling me to do?
That's a ding, ding, ding from last week. Both of you just letting your alarms... Run rampant.
Oh, both were nap related. Yeah.
Oh.
No.
I know. His legs are splayed.
Exactly.
I'm shocked that you could sleep like that. That's very flexible, actually.
Yeah, and you're on your back.
You didn't have to put washcloths over his face?
Oh, three hours.
Oh, wow.
And then you napped today.
Yeah. It's okay. It is.
Yeah, it needed a rest.
That is why, probably.
Okay, Buster Keaton. So he said that— That Houdini—that there's a rumor that Houdini named him Buster, but that that's been debunked. But it says that on PBS.org.
And I trust PBS.org. Yeah.
Because of Trump?
chopping block?
Oh, my God.
He's a monster. Joseph Francis Keaton got his name when at six months he fell down a flight of stairs, reaching the bottom unhurt and relatively undisturbed. He was picked up by Harry Houdini, who said the kid could really take a buster or fall. From then on, his parents in the world knew him as Buster Keaton. By the age of three, Keaton joined the family's vaudeville act, which was
Oh, my God. Oh, man. Okay, how many times did David Blaine do Stern? Eight. He's done it eight times. Have you heard Blaine on Stern?
Sure. That's it.
That's it for David.
Love you guys. Love you. Love you.
Yeah.
It's counterproductive because you're panicking.
So you're getting validation at an early age from that.
Yes.
That's so young. That's not good.
The testing process for these...
You're just laying there and like, I think I'm going to be this person now. So I'm going to swallow a fish tonight and see what happens. That is abnormal.
Okay, so you also in your head, you just thought, I'm going to try this.
And I had a frog in your throat, literally.
Well, especially if they're in charge of you, if they're your boss or they're above you.
Can you say... I know what you're about to say.
Quince is amazing.
I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater from me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
That's nice.
It's incredible.
It's pretty. It's effective. It's effective. Efficient.
I think it also just depends on the situation because it depends on the punishment. On the consequences. The consequences. Exactly. Don't you think sometimes it isn't worth it?
They're both pretty common.
I think you should go J. Oh, really? Uh-huh.
That's what I was going to say earlier when I said, oh, I think you should say it. That's what I thought you were going to say. Some people have a little bit of a leg up doing it with less consequences.
Do you disagree? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, it's so unfair.
Sometimes I just get so tired. Don't you just get exhausted of having to just constantly be that person?
That doesn't feel too much like a values. Values driven.
That makes a ton of sense. That to me is like, that's so value driven. Not as an actor, because that's an identity we place on ourselves. It's an occupation. It's an occupation. A value of I refuse to take someone down. That makes a ton of sense. And I think that is fully worth defying.
I loved this topic.
No, he's bad.
Is he crying? Yeah.
I think it's really important to know how to stick up for yourself, when to stick up for yourself.
Wasn't it so cozy? Everything is so soft and so comfortable and so cute. You know I have a bunch of their products I've acquired over the years, and I love them all, all for different occasions. I have that gray dress that I really love that I can dress up or down.
Yes, I have the jammies. I have the bras. The bras are really something special because it's really hard to find a good, comfortable bra that's also chic. And they have a really good one, the fits everybody t-shirt bra. It really does fit everybody. I have gifted this.
It's a big hit.
I also like the last question because it sort of depersonalizes it. If you're saying, what does a person like that do in this situation? It's not like, what am I going to do in this situation? It's what does someone that holds those values do? You can remove yourself. And I think that's really helpful.
Gosh, I wonder if they repeated that experiment and before going in the shocks, they made them write down their values. I wonder if that would have impacted it.
And he won't go to the huge thing. And not be bothered by the Olympics. Of course he wants to be an engineer. Well, my dad always says this. Engineers are hyper focused on seeing problems. That's the whole point of the job because a building will collapse if they don't do that. So it is looking at the world with a critical lens, which I do think can come with some defiance.
As opposed to just get with the program. Yeah.
It's a great topic.
You sing it a lot.
I don't know it. I didn't grow up on it.
One hit wonder.
Two hit wonder.
Mm-hmm. I wasn't listening to music then.
Not that I know of.
What was it?
Yeah. Yeah. That's a good job.
This is like sweaters.
You had your sword and your belt.
You don't love things. I'm going to go ahead and say that. You love cars, but I would never classify you. And motorcycles.
Motor stuff. But I don't think it would be fair for you to say you like things.
I'm trying to be nice and say that.
Oh my God. Yeah, it's really exciting.
What colors?
Is it the flames one or is it a black one?
Oh, my God.
Just put a. Pep in your step.
Oh my God. Yeah.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Wow, that's so long.
You're like a bona fide biker now, bicyclist.
I understand. This can be the chicken or the egg with items. This is a lot like fashion.
Like you, sometimes you go on the RealReal, great website, not sponsored yet. Yet. And there's like a very fancy purse, let's say a purse. Yeah. That you know is outrageously expensive.
Yes. Yeah. And then it's there for one grand.
And you start doing this whole like, oh my God, obviously I have to get it.
See, you get it. You get it.
And then you have the purse, and it's like, well, I have the purse, so I guess I got to get the scarf so that I'm this person. I'm this person now that carries this bag, so now the rest of me has to fit.
Yeah. It's a slippery slope.
I like that. That's true. Yeah.
You think you're going to run into them?
Oh, you think?
But does he go to all of them?
Yeah, me neither.
Okay. And I'm ready. I like that. Okay. You're allowed.
Sure. Okay. I'm fine with that.
You love Bawa Taba.
I know you're trying to find middle ground, but let's be – his – no. Bawa Taba was on TRL number one for so long, and I – I hated it so much.
Yeah. It's, I mean.
Yeah. He hated me then and he hates me now. But yeah. And that song was just so, it was so aggressive. Like it's exactly.
Yeah. Is he ready? Is he pumping? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's nice. I mean, sports will do that.
Wait, it's like black market?
No, I want this.
And you ate it.
He doesn't drive to the east side?
Well, they got to stay hot?
Oh, my God. That sounds so good.
Oh, this is miserable. Oh my God. I think I'd got pizza reward.
I didn't. I couldn't tell because your hat.
Oh. So then they had to go to the grocery store. I thought you meant a bomb.
Oh, ew, ew. Ew, ew, ew, okay.
Just in case.
You're still getting that high, but it's healthy.
Does your voice change when you talk to them?
No, like more like you're trying to be scary.
Oh, wow. Okay.
Oh, I love those tiny ones.
Wow, that looks so yummy. Oh my God, I'm starving.
Is that their cheese? Is that just like a cheese one?
It looks kind of like— A margarita. Yeah.
The crust looks so good. It looks so crispy.
Ooh, I'm going to have to go.
Wow. That's a lot of pizza.
It's probably because you had all the energy, all those carbs.
Very fun. Yeah. Yum.
No, I didn't watch the first season.
I started it. It seems so good. I'm sure it's fantastic. I'm sure it's fantastic. What happened? You know, I sometimes don't like...
I know, but it's the same. It gives me the feeling.
As far as the feeling I get, it's the same. Can you articulate the feeling? No, it's— The feeling. Yeah. I've talked about it a lot on here. The only person who really gets it gets it is Anthony. He can always tell me. He's like, that's going to give you the feeling. Don't watch it. And then I watch it, and it's exactly right. He, like, knows.
And it's just really hard to explain. There are a few things that I know that trigger it. Suicide stuff often triggers it. Okay.
Okay, but British and I guess now Irish stuff often does, which is weird because I love London so much. I love it.
I don't get the feeling when I'm there. It's all like media. It's movies and TV and stuff. And then the first time I identified this feeling was... was Wonder Years when I was young.
I don't know. I just feel, it just makes me feel really, like, really uncomfortable. And Anthony says things that are overly earnest.
I did. I loved it. So some things make their way through. I don't know. It's hard. It's hard. But I started Bad Sisters and it gave me the feeling. So I had to stop.
I'm making a new mocktail that my friend Maddie taught me about. It's called, it doesn't have a name, but it is seltzer water. I've been using Perrier and a little bit of 100% tangerine juice.
The brand is Natalie's Shout Out. Oh, shout out, Rob. And it isn't that hard to find. I found it at Lazy Acres.
Yeah. It's not sweet at all. Oh, it's not? No. It's very citrusy.
Nice. It's nice. Maddie invented it. I need to give her.
I just do a splash of the juice.
And mainly the drink, the seltzer.
No ice cubes. Okay. But I do freeze the glass.
You eventize it. I do. I eventize it.
It's helping.
It's helping. Yeah. What's been interesting is, so I think we talked about it. I'm trying not to drink Monday through Thursday. Yeah. Then the world got really turned upside down. Uh-huh. Topsy-turvy. Yeah. And I said, fuck that. So I drank last week, I think Wednesday and Thursday. Yeah. And Saturday and Sunday. I think. I forget all the days, but I definitely didn't stick to my thing. Right.
But what has been interesting, and you told me to do this in my journal. I've been journaling. Uh-huh. It's a good place to tally and mark.
So I've been doing that, and it is in my head when I'm about to drink, like, well, tomorrow I'm going to have to put zero.
Which is, it's like, back it, nothing, you know? Right. And I think about that. And even just the thinking about it for a second is nice. It makes me really make the decision. Like, do I really want it?
And sometimes the answer is, yeah. You're right. I don't care if I have to put a zero. Who cares? I love writing zeros. I want it. Yeah. Zeros are fun. And other times I'm like, I don't really need it. I don't really want it. So overall, even though I've broken my goal, I am drinking much less.
Which is helpful.
Yeah, it does.
In the morning, though.
Yeah, I think that makes sense.
Yeah, I guess for me it's not, it's because I'm not trying to be sober. Right. I'm trying to get to day four, really.
I'm mainly just like.
Yeah. It feels a little, I don't know why, it feels a little like intense to call it sobriety. Also because that's not really what I. I mean sober. I know.
Yeah, I didn't drink last night.
That's what it is. It's like, yeah, that I didn't drink. I did drink. So I'm at zero days as opposed to one day that I didn't successfully. Right. Anyway, what else? Anything else? Let's see. Are you reading any new books?
That's wild.
Yeah, when I went to my acupuncturist, that's the first thing she asked.
No, if I was born vaginally.
Yeah, and I was.
Yeah, you were- And I have an autoimmune disease and allergies.
Not to get controversial, but I do, I feel like I'm pro-animal testing.
I know, but people hate that.
Some people- Like how will we learn anything?
I think we just lost a lot of listeners, but I think it's true. No, I don't think so.
I'm a mouse, so I can say that.
And I guess it's a scale of what you're testing. Like I know like the beauty products stuff, that's bad.
And I do think that's bad.
But like learning about our bodies.
Yeah. People have all kinds of points of view.
That's right.
I'm rewatching Sex and the City, and it's been a long time since I watched it. And it is funny. There are some things that are very ahead of its time, like some of the things they're talking about. Uh-huh. And I don't know. It's been really interesting to watch. But also, separately, they have two episodes where they're in L.A.
And it is so funny because they're like pointing out the differences between L.A. and New York. And it's so cliche.
Yeah, exactly. They're being so extreme. But then I had to recognize like they make a joke about this woman. guy, Miranda comes and visits his, her old friend who now lives in LA writes for a TV show and used to live in New York. And he's really positive. And she's like, what's, what happened to you? We used to hate on everybody.
And he was like, yeah, I just, I'm so much, I am so much happier here. I know.
What we like on this show is sort of looking at the opposite side of it. And we talk in the episode and she starts the book with George Floyd and the rookie cops that were there. Yeah, yeah. And we get into all that and it's really fascinating and thinking about if you really put yourself in that position, what would you do? Yeah.
I mean, I say that about some sector of the South.
But that's just another word for it.
I think that's what they mean. But anyway, it was just so funny because he he was like, I'm so much happier here. And then he ordered he took her to this like macro biotic sandwich shop, you know, someplace that I was like, oh, that does sound good. And then he was like, let's go on a hike. And that was like the the culmination of the joke.
Like, let's go on a hike. And I was like, yeah, I'm here. I'm indoctrinated.
It's funny.
We are into health.
I mean, I don't know why anyone would be mad about it.
Which is great. Yeah.
Yeah, I suppose.
I was thinking about when we did our first fact check of the year while you were gone. And we were doing it virtual. And I was saying that I was... This is the first time I was calling L.A. home and not Georgia home, even though we realized I was calling everything home.
But in light of what's been happening the past couple weeks, I've been thinking about that. Right.
No. God, no.
I understand why, but I don't feel like that at all. I feel more— I feel like doubled down in that I love it here and I'm so happy to be here and grateful. And, um, it is funny. This is not to disparage any other place and how they handle situations, but in a lot of places when bad things happen, there's a lot of requests for prayers and, um,
Yes. And for, you know, meeting at the church and X, Y, and Z. And that's great. Like I have nothing against that. We didn't have that. I didn't see, I saw maybe like one person say it.
Yeah, and he said, I don't do this.
Yeah, exactly. And like some people I do know are religious and were, but overall, the city, no one was saying that.
No, and... But what is so heartening is like, I've never seen a city mobilize so fast. No one was asking for prayers. They were asking for meet here, give this, do this. It was instruction and it was specific. It was action. And I really, I was like, yeah, that's in alignment with me. So anyway, all right.
Let's get facts.
You even said, you said it on.
Yeah, you did. And then we did. And we're trying.
Me too. It's like a treat. It is a treat. Which is so nice to have a treat and... I have to resist eating too many nighttimes because they're so delicious. I know. Don't eat too many.
Okay, so this is for Sunita.
Which I just thought was a great episode. I love her message.
Oh, let's hear.
Yeah. It's really tricky. And especially in that situation with her. I don't know the details of how that works, but he's her superior, I would assume. Employer, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's so hard. It's so much easier said than done to stick up for yourself when your job is on the line or when your employer is—
Upset with you or, I mean, there's just things that you, that honestly put you into fight or flight.
And it's intense.
It's really hard. I too have been thinking a lot about what, what, what are my true beliefs and values? Kind of what she said. She's, you know, she said, think about your values. Then ask yourself, what would a person with these values do?
Not what I do, but really, you know, force yourself to sort of be objective about who you want to be. Yeah. And what actions match that. And, um, And yeah, I think it's good to know the parts of yourself that you're unwilling to forego for peace, really. I mean, that's what it can come down to and that sucks. But at the end of the day, all you have is you and those beliefs and those values.
So you really just can't let people take them.
Yeah. Also for people in charge. Yeah. to think about why, like why there's a pushiness or why you're forcing the nurse to get the thing. Like there can, I think that's also an element of control and maybe there's a lack, there's a feeling of lack of control. And so there's a grasping for it.
Yeah, definitely.
Totally. So, yeah, I thought this was a great, great episode. Okay, she was talking about visas, the types of visas. I wanted to go through because— I was sort of dumb enough to think that you could just like ask to come here and it would take a while, but that like you could. Yeah, yeah. And you can't. You have to have a reason to come. You have the student visa, tourist visa, business visa.
Yeah. Transit visa. So that's a temporary visa that allows travelers to pass through a country for a limited time. Okay. Work visa. Immigrant visa. A visa for people traveling to a country to live permanently. So I don't really know. Is that kind of like... That's kind of what I thought.
Yeah, but I don't think we have that here in the United States.
think so we have to because we have tons of legal um latino immigrants that didn't get here on a h1b or a student they probably got a work visa maybe not h1b but there's different kinds i think h1b is specific to tech maybe sure let me see actually because i know i'm curious Okay. Oh, God. So many news articles.
Hot? If you're hot, you can come.
I'm for that.
Yeah. If you're single and hot.
That's right. Bring people up.
Yeah, like the girl who was half Indian. Right, right, right. Yeah, we need more of that.
Okay, H-1B status is available to a person who has been offered a temporary professional position by a U.S. employer. Bachelor's degree or higher in a related area is the minimum educational level. Okay, so it's not tech. It's just any with the degree. I guess that, duh, because my dad and my grandpa got H-1Bs.
That would be tech, but my grandpa was a professor.
Although he came on a student visa, I guess.
Yeah, exactly. Then became a citizen.
No, never. He did become very patriotic.
Okay, anyway, so can't just come here.
Yeah. Swatty. Swatty. Swati is the nerdy term. It's the term for nerd in British. And it started as an army slang, meaning sweaty. I think it's a variation of sweaty, but slang referring to hard work.
For the Brits.
Stanford Prison Experiment. The guy's name is. Fuck, I wanted to. William Randolph Hearst. I wanted to see if I could remember it. Yeah. And I can't.
No, don't say that about him. It's true.
It sounds like a football coach. It sounds exactly like Anthony's last name.
And a football coach.
Okay, so between the three of us, why don't we remember it?
Wouldn't you be sad if everyone remembered armchair expert, but they didn't know it was you?
Really? Yeah. I guess you're dead, so who cares? I'm dead. Rob, can you join me in a pursuit to remember his name?
No, we have to memorize it.
Just recently?
I feel bad for saying he's dead. I mean, he is, but just recently.
I almost was wrong.
I'm... I don't care. Charles Dunn. What's the guy's name who invented podcasts again?
Okay, the Greek poet that said, under duress, we don't rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to the level of our training. That's attributed to Bruce Lee. But it was a Greek poet, Archilochus. I don't know if that's how you say it.
Fine, I will. Archilochus. I'll remember everything. I mean, I like to remember everything I can.
I think I'm— I think overall I'm pretty good at names.
Yeah. Hung Vango, that's a name I know.
He's a makeup artist.
Yeah, he's great. I watch his videos. All right. Do engineers over-index on disagreeability? According to research and common perception, engineers are often considered to be the lower end of the agreeableness. Jeez.
agreeableness spectrum on personality tests, meaning they may sometimes be perceived as disagreeable due to their strong focus on logic, data, and problem solving, which can sometimes lead to a more direct or critical approach when discussing ideas or solutions.
Yeah, no, sometimes...
It says, however, this is not always the case. An individual personality is very greatly within the engineering field. A, I had to say that.
I do think, though, there is. My dad and I have talked about this because he.
He's disagreeable. He's.
Yeah. He is picking apart everything.
Yes. Or things will collapse and that will be on his shoulders. People will die. So he and I, we talked about this once. I was like, is it chicken or the egg? Were you drawn to the career because that's your personality or has that job made you like this? We don't really know.
I do too. He thinks bee.
No, I know. Well, he is. I've been kind of like, what are you doing? Because The Sims has been... Rowdy.
Yeah, it's part of it.
That's true. And then yesterday I was doing Connections.
And one of the answers was Big, Mr. Big from Sex and the City as I was watching it.
So he was trying to make up for it a little bit.
Still here. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, he, if you talk to my uncles, they, my dad doesn't really let them talk too much about this, but they, like, have all these stories about my dad. Like, I think he was more like my brother.
Well, they knew him when I didn't. Like, as a kid. Are they older? Yeah, they're older.
He's the youngest.
Well, that's a little bit fair, but there's also personality traits that come with being the youngest.
Little brother syndrome.
They have a version of his personality that I don't know, that I never saw. And I think that's interesting and sort of lends itself to maybe he did grow into a lot of these traits. Yeah. Or they just got sharpened probably. Yeah.
Yeah, that's probably right. That's probably right.
Yeah. And I guess you can tell down the line, right? Like I have a lot of those qualities that he has and I'm not an engineer. So I probably got it from him.
Which means it's just genetics. And you're disagreeable.
Yeah. I'm doing what Sunita tells me to do.
Yes. Okay. Yes. I think I spent a lot of my life not going along with, I mean, going along with stuff.
Exactly. That is true. But I was walking a line, right? Because I also, I wasn't going to add a dinner table with my whose parents had much different political views than me or even just things I thought were wrong.
If I'm at a dinner with them, I'm not going to say, oh, actually, I disagree. Like, I'm going to agree. Right. So I can maintain that friendship. Kind of like you, who you, for different reasons, much different reasons, you feel like you are rewarded for speaking up for yourself.
Yeah. And I think I have a lot of that too for these other reasons. Like I'm not going to.
Maybe. Again, so hard to. It's hard to know. So hard to know.
Anyhow, that's it.
Yeah, me too.
Hopefully she would have stood up for herself.
Let's start doing weird stuff like that.
Why haven't you drank it? Drink it.
Love you. Love you.
Yeah, and what you should do.
Because I was also very good. Yeah, I was going to say.
Is it a good thing, though? Right. And I think I've grown into I totally defy.
Oh, yeah. Just trying to be good. Just trying to do everything I needed to do to not get removed.
From society or singled out. I grew up in Georgia. And as you were saying, you were one of the only brown kids. Yeah, you just wanted to be. I did. Just want to be like everyone else. So, yes, when there's someone there, I actually commend you for being attracted to that at that time. Because if there's someone there who's being so themselves, that at that time would have terrified me.
Yeah. Then it's like, then if I become friends with them, then everyone's going to be so aware of me. I didn't want anyone to be aware of me.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.
Well, it has a huge antioxidant effect.
Ha!
Yeah.
Hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
What's so cute is that you're proud of yourself and you're a little bit crying.
Because you're Delta's mom?
You have to frame those.
No. There's no way they could in second grade.
What was the number that she said endlessly? Do you remember she used to say a number over and over again?
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
But isn't this weird? It's like that thing where you're born with all your eggs, so really your grandma's eggs are your eggs.
37.
No, I don't want, yeah, this one is not good to be validated.
I have. I've done two rounds, but it wasn't great. There's already been some telling. But it is still regular periods. But as you said, maybe that's the later end of it.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Okay. So I like to hear that because my mom actually said the same thing. I don't think she did any hormone therapy, but I was like, when did you hit menopause? She said 50. And I was like, oh man, well, I'm nervous. I'm in perimenopause after I read this book. And she was like, well, I like it.
Yeah.
Even like the Diva Cup, it's not for me.
Yeah, I don't.
I wouldn't say outsized.
And none of this is a problem with getting pregnant.
Dr. Mary Claire.
But it's not like you have the hysterectomy and then... No, unless they remove the ovary, right?
I thought she was so great. This is so informative and helpful and needed. And I've brought this up, obviously, to a lot of my female friends.
It's I'm making choices for the first time that are for me that aren't just handed societally to you. But what's scary about that book is now is the time I get to make the choices and my body is disintegrating. That's the part that I think everyone was like, oh, my God, we have to wait till then. And it's coinciding with that. What do we do now?
Oh, my God.
Even the smart people who are educated. I do these girls' dinners, and we just had one recently, and we were talking about something random. We were like, why don't we know the answers to any of these questions that keep popping up about our own bodies? Yeah.
Her libido's okay.
That's true. There's a million factors.
And we were like, who do you want to come on experts? And your name came up over and over and over and over again. It's a different audience. But is it?
Are they on? Oh, that's a question. How early can someone get on these things?
That's nice. I love that.
Again, I didn't even know about this. I didn't even know about egg freezing, really. Like, you kind of hear about it. And then my best friend works at Netflix. They pay for that. And so she was like, oh, I'm getting this done. That's a covered benefit? That's amazing. It's amazing.
It's so smart. But I was like, why are you doing that? She was like, well, they're paying for it and you might as well. And I was like, interesting. So then that's when I started thinking about it. But my age person did not think about it at all. Did you just do it? I did it at thirty five and then thirty six.
They act like you fall off a cliff and all that, but it is a steady state. It's steady. But I did better the second time, weirdly. Amazing. But I wish I had known so much earlier and just done it and felt insurance.
I'm not shocked. I know almost nothing. That's why I'm here. I got you.
Oh my God, that's so great. And you're doing all these fun things. You mentioned Reese. I know you're doing something tomorrow that's very cool. Love it.
We like marine layer. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. That's a thing. Our sweatshirts were from Marine Layer for a little while. Yeah.
Yeah. Quilted is nice.
Oh. Charmin? Charmin.
Yeah, that's a paper towel.
People would say yes, definitely. Because it's bounty.
But the bounty doesn't have the same alliteration as Charmin and Quicker.
My morning was good. Every two weeks, I get a flower delivery on Friday from Flamingo Estate.
And it's really exciting.
Yes. So you don't know what you're going to get.
Yes. And it's always from a cool, like, farm place.
Today it was ranunculus. And they're orange.
Flower.
And they're orange, and they're so pretty. I did lose a little track of time because I was cutting the ends, and I was, you know, cleaning up the stems.
And— Easter egg.
Uh-huh.
Well, they got to put them in a vase.
I know. It's so smart. These delivery services.
They can really brighten your day. I would recommend that for a gift.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, I did try to gift this exact thing today. Oh, just today? Today's Callie's birthday.
Happy birthday, Callie. And I was going to get her this weekly bloom bundle.
Yeah, but it's sold out.
So I can't.
Yeah, they run out.
It's part of the fun. It's part of the limited dish element.
Yeah, I would prefer not. I know. That's why I don't look at them.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah, I agree.
You know what I'm going to say.
It might sound disrespectful to the audience what I'm about to say.
And I don't mean that. I love our audience so much. I love the armcherries. I'm so grateful that people listen to us. But I don't care.
If they don't like an episode, I also personally, I don't believe it. I don't believe that what you're reading is indicative of what people think. And that, it bums me out that you get like ensnared.
I know, but this is the...
It's a delusion, but you're only seeing like one piece of the whole puzzle.
You don't know who you're even talking to.
It could literally be one person. This is what I'm saying. Oh, that's got 30 accounts. Yes, this is my point. Like, to get wrapped up in it, your strongest trigger is getting taken advantage of. But when you react like this, I think you've been taken advantage of.
And you don't even know.
It's a concern, yeah.
If it feels threatened.
But if it's threatened, yes, of course.
Can we deep dive?
Why is that so scary to you? Like, of course, it sounds it's bad, right? Like, I think it's bad, too. I'm like, this is a huge problem. But I don't have this reaction that you have. And I wonder, I mean, obviously, we know that if anything's like causing this, that much of a reaction. It's something else. It's something about us or our past or our, like the fear is about us.
Oh, I'm just like, guys, we had a perimenopause menopause expert on. It's really intense.
if you want to look at it in a way that's selfish, it's good to hear the other person's point of view so that you know how to combat it.
And that can't really be a part of my... I also think you are in a program that requires self-reflection, growth, checking yourself. And so I do think you're extra...
It bothers you more when you see people who aren't doing that or don't care to do it. But there's just a lot of people who don't. And I guess I respect that that bothers you. To me, I think if that bothered me, I would die. Like that'd be too much. Like I can't take on that people don't want to change. That's not my job to make people want to change. And, you know, like I can only do me.
People really have a huge problem with... wishy-washy-ness. Right. I've heard that a lot.
Flip-flopping. And a lot about politicians, they say that a lot about politicians that, oh, they said this and now they're saying this.
Right. I find that so strange.
Why can't, they should be changing their opinion. It's so weird to me It's so much worse to me that they would have said something so long ago, felt stuck in saying that, and now they just have to believe that forever. That's a big problem. But both sides hate that.
Which I really do not understand.
It feels very backwards, but... But again, like I can't get that riled up about other people feeling that way because I can't change them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you think it's because when your dysfunctional family ended in, I mean, it ended in pain for you specifically and pain for your mom and pain.
Pain for all involved.
Because I think not everyone, I'm sure some people are spared this, but there's a fair amount of dysfunction that happens in a lot of families. And I think I also grew up with- Some dysfunction. Dysfunction amongst the adults. But they didn't split up over it. Obviously, for me, having grown up and seeing things I didn't like, I think, well, I can't do that for my life.
I don't want to replicate that. Yeah. But I also am kind of like, like it sort of worked out and it's kind of fine.
I also think people, I mean, again, the generous offering is that they want their opinion heard and seen. And they want to feel, people just want to feel like a person who exists. I mean, we all just want proof that we exist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that is a version of it.
Yeah.
There's nothing you can do.
Exactly.
Yes, I agree.
Yeah.
Well, it's funny that you brought up hating because on my ride here, I was listening to a podcast and they were talking about Meghan Markle. And they weren't saying that they hated her, but they were saying like there is this like vitriol around her. Yeah. And there is. And it was interesting because it did make me think.
Oh, yeah. But people like.
No, I was just going to ask if you hated anyone.
Hated anyone.
Because I was like, I don't, when I really think about it, I mean, I don't hate any strangers. And even people in my life who I, like, who I do have, like, friction or cause stress.
I don't hate them. I don't think I hate anyone, actually.
Right.
Yeah, I feel like I remember one time years and years and years ago, probably when I was babysitting and we were playing games and stuff, Catan. I said something like, oh, I hate this. And you said, you say hate a lot.
Well, it's been a minute probably. I was saying it just as a random word really.
Yeah. It didn't carry the weight that it was carrying for you. But then I was like, yeah, that is a big word to be sort of throwing around. And I think I don't really say it as much.
All right.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Yes, I agree.
Yeah.
Right. But he... Taking is so like, like he didn't have a mind of his own. Oh, I know. I mean, that's so.
Made the choice. Never to return. I mean, yeah.
I guess. I don't know. I don't know that I would. I think I would be like, yikes. She like. No, but you got to evaluate him. You got to evaluate the dude. That's the part I actually can't relate to. Like for me, Harry made a choice about his life and his family.
And I don't see it as this woman like took him away.
Exactly. I see it as a man who made a choice based on a lot of things, including the death of his mother. And so I don't, have a problem with him being like, there's a lot of fucked up shit over there and I had to leave it.
True. But I think if Malia... and married this Russian person.
And then they went on Russian TV and they were talking about it. And she was saying like, look, the White House was horrible. And the media in America was horrible. And this is what they did. And this is what happened.
Well, they hate the media.
Well, no. No.
But I'm saying they speak specifically about British media.
Yes. And we have had enough people on who have corroborated that the British tabloids.
No, I know, I know.
I guess I don't. I just don't. Like, I think if they were like... Because we have to make it equal. I don't because I don't. I mean, look, we have obviously media issues, but it's not the same.
Yeah.
No, then it goes to the son, William's son. Harry can't be the king.
Okay. There's a long list? Yeah.
Yeah, like Joffrey.
I agree. I mean, that's why we don't, it's like hard to make this equivalency. But also like, why should he possibly stay in this thing that he sees as fucked up? Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, I don't know. I just commend.
But we also we also, you know, more than anyone that like if someone if you're in love with with someone and people around you are not treating that person well.
You're going to protect them and you're going to say, ultimately say, fuck this. Like, this is a problem. We're going to go now.
Yeah. Yeah.
You're just saying you understand why people don't like it.
Right.
It's not hard for me to understand. I do wish they would take a second look at it. Like, it doesn't affect them. It really doesn't.
Get over it. Like, I mean. And I hate royalty. Yeah. Yeah.
No, sure.
I actually can understand that weirdly. Right. You like royalty. I can buy into... The royal family and thinking that's cool and that's a part of your history. I do get that. Even that, like, even feeling that way, I don't think I would feel personally injured by one of them going to live their life. I think differently. I think people don't like her because they think she's fake.
It is. It is. I was overwhelmed.
People think she's fake. People think she's mean, but she pretends to be nice. Like there's a lot of and then with the new show, they're like, what is this? She's just moving pretzels from one bag to another bag. This is stupid.
You know what? I'm not laughing either because it's clear that she does like it. I don't think it's fake. It may seem ridiculous to someone who's like living a life, going to work and having to come home and then turning that on.
Exactly. Turning it on and seeing... that her day is spent moving pretzels from one bag into another bag.
She, it's like, that's a very, uh.
Simple explanation. She's having a guest over and she's gonna put together this like cute little tray.
By the bed for the guest. Yeah. It has like flowers and stuff. And then she like buys these pretzels, I think with peanut butter. They look delicious. Okay. And she put them in another, she took them out of the bag. She put them in another cute little bag and put like.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And put them, like, you know, wrote peanut butter pretzels and, like, tied it up.
She made it cute. And I think that does bring her joy.
I don't think that's a lie.
And so it's kind of what we talked about before with the, you know— The like men's podcast and stuff.
If you don't like it, just don't watch it. If you think this is sort of offensive because your life, it's not reflective of your life.
Yes.
Right, right, right, right.
Well, yes, because who deserves anything? Like, do we inherently—I mean, we deserve, like, dignity.
But to me, other than that, we as people don't, like, come out deserving of anything. money or I don't know. It's a weird thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're advanced privileges. Yes.
In a way that I needed to be overwhelmed.
I just mean, we don't all deserve to be a basketball... I mean, like, that's my whole point. We don't come out deserving everything. Right. We have different skills and privileges and things that allow us to, like, live the life we're going to live. But I don't know that we deserve... Like, I don't know that Brene... I mean... Of course, I love her. So I think she deserves.
Yeah. But the 7-Eleven guy, if, if.
If his one sentence repeated over and over and over again has a massive impact on people.
And it changes their life and it like makes them think about the world differently. He deserves it.
Yeah, exactly. And I don't. Yeah, none of us do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do think so much of dislike, though, is jealousy.
In general and for all of us. If we dislike a lot, not always. Of course, there's like people who do horrible shit to other people. Yeah. You're going to dislike that. But like when you're just like irked by someone who you don't know. Yeah. It's probably because there's something that you're triggered that you wish you had or, I mean, again, this thing she's presenting is perfection, right?
Like she has, she's able to make her own honey. She has this bee farm. She has her own bees? Yeah, she has her own bees and she makes her own honey and then she makes these like.
Really?
It's like great news.
Yeah.
Because of her.
Oh, my God.
Wow. That is good news. Yeah. But, like, she makes her own, like, raspberry preserves and, like, because she has a raspberry bush. And so people are like, I want a raspberry bush, and I want— I want to spend my day doing this nice, fun stuff. Exactly.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why wouldn't you? Exactly.
Circles back to what I said earlier.
I mean, that's the part. That's a bummer. Yeah.
Yeah, one's harmless and the other one is causing harm, personal harm to them, the people who are doing it. And I mean, I do think it's a privilege to be Kristen or be me. And I'm like watching this, you know, I'm just watching the show and I'm like, oh yeah, like.
Yeah, I'm like, oh my God, like I should order some of those tomatoes and make that.
Exactly. I am not like, well, why does she get to have that? I think I have plenty.
I have more than I should have.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
Yeah.
Are doing well. Real quick facts. This is for Mary Claire Haver. Great episode.
My assumption is it's hopefully going to be huge.
She posted about it. She did? Uh-huh. It was really sweet and cute because it was out early. And she said it was really, she had a good time with us.
We can't say anything else.
I'm going to have to get a facial. Hard as a rock.
Yeah, same.
Exactly. There's a lot coming slash here. Yeah. And there are real things to do. And so I got to do them.
Bra top.
I do have a new top that is pretty see-through.
Oh, my God. I couldn't maybe get away with it.
You'd have to blur it, Rob. Yeah.
Yeah, that could be done. On YouTube.
For him.
Yeah, but you know my instinct is to just, like, play it so cool. Can you cross your legs a lot? No, go for it.
I don't know, though. On your deathbed? On your deathbed. I think this person might be more intrigued by someone playing it so cool.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah. Jess says he's starting to turn the more he hangs out with me.
Might end up together after all.
Oh. That would be boring.
Oh, man. Anyway, okay, well, that's TBD for people.
Okay, some facts. Okay, Rob, can you help me? What did you type in to get the names of those guys who did the WIH study?
That is, I, for the life, I was trying so many ways of typing this into Google, and I can't. It won't. That's not coming up for me. Yeah.
Okay. So these are for the Women's Health Initiative. This is who you say was a part of the study.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay. So maybe they've doubled down. But they, I don't think, are part of the original study.
Dr. Bernadine Healy. This is in 91. She was the female director of the NIH, and she announced her plan for the Women's Health Initiative. There was a ton of people involved in this. And it was a 15-year study. I mean, and it was wrong.
It was not right.
Okay. Now, peak suicide rates for women. Female suicide is concentrated in the 35 to 64-year range. That's 64.8%.
I get it. I get why it's weird. I wouldn't have expected that either.
But it's those hormones, brain changes. Scary. Scary. But good to know, like if you're starting to feel.
Yeah, exactly.
Okay, now male pattern baldness.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Great. So she realized she had it because.
That's lovely.
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah.
This is like the most PC you've ever been.
Okay. Male pattern baldness doesn't exclusively come from the mother's side. It can be influenced by genes from both parents. The AR gene is located on the X chromosome, which men inherit from their mothers. However, other genes and environmental factors also play a role. If your mother's father has male pattern baldness, you're more likely to have it too.
If your father is bald, you're twice as likely to have it. Hormonal fluctuations, nutritional habits, stress level, and lifestyle choices can impact the onset and progression of baldness. Yeah. Genetic factors from both parents significantly influence the likelihood of experience.
You're doing fine.
Oh, I see. I see.
Do you want to do that thing that Ike did?
The PRP.
Okay. Yes. Oh, we're gonna be competing.
This poor guest.
Oh, my God. Okay. And then, oh, real quick. So she said that there are places that you can donate your eggs for free and keep some.
So that's cool. And there's one place called Co-Fertility that does this. I don't know if this is the one she was talking about. I can't endorse this. I don't know much about it, but it is... One of the places.
Yes. If you'd like to look into it, that's a place. All right. That's it for Mary Claire. Thank God she came in. She really rattled me.
Say it.
You don't like that? No. I feel like you say it.
Oh my God, Atelier. This past weekend.
Because like cuckold?
Oh, weird.
Last weekend, I was doing a long walk. I walked on Sunset. I was doing this whole thing, and I passed a new coffee shop, and I went in, and I tried it, and I texted Rob, and I asked if he had tried it yet. Uh-huh. And then he went the next day, and he reminded me there was a merch there that said Atelier on it. Ah. Did you buy it?
Yeah, I know. I considered it too. Should we get it?
I've been saying that.
I've been saying that.
Yeah, we learned a lot. We learned a lot.
Right. Well, yes.
But her class would be one in my dream.
Oh, okay. The Prisoner's Dilemma. Oh, my God, I did it.
I've been trying to remember who did the Stanford Prison Experiment.
Yeah, but I said, I'm going to commit this to memory, and I did. You did it.
That's how it felt.
Or is it Milgram that did shocks?
Yeah. Oh, my God.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
In addition to their real Ritalin. Although Diet Pepsi's becoming more of a thing. I don't know if you guys heard about the new trend. Say it. There's a song out called Diet Pepsi and Diet Pepsi sales are skyrocketing. Come on. Yeah, it's real. Who sings a song? She's a big...
Yeah.
Is that just because we know that we... Yes.
It's real. Some people have converted from Diet Coke to Diet Pepsi. Oh, wow.
She was.
Thank you.
At Harvard. That's a very fancy name.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm nervous.
Yeah. So you're going to ask me a question.
Oh, I got it at Sarah Hendler's studio. It's vintage.
The first time I've ever been was yesterday.
I guess I'm just busy. I'm busy.
I work a lot. I have a busy job.
Have you heard of podcasts?
Oh, I'm not supposed to ask.
That's right. HBS.
You didn't know where I got my sweater.
You learned a lot very quickly. I guess you didn't learn that I was busy, but because you already know that. We've got to reverse it. I'm so scared. Okay. What should I ask? Well, I want to ask a serious question. Okay. Can I? Yeah. You're working on a personal project. It's been taxing and I want to know how you're doing.
If you do a scale of one to 10, 10 being the most relief and one being agony, that's a weird scale.
And are you doing anything to help balance it out?
Are you an addict?
That tracks. Okay. But I did know some of the answers.
Seeing if being more outspoken, like you can't say, well, it's because they look like this. All the factors are the same.
I have that too, but sometimes it can backfire in a dating. I mean, even the question I asked you was immediately vulnerable. Yeah. I do tend to do that even on early dates because I want to know for myself what's going on with this person. How introspective are they? How interesting are they? And so I'm like, tell me about your trauma. Tell me about your trauma.
They often do it and that's lovely. But then if I then don't want to go on another date, I feel guilty. Yeah. Because I've now put them in a position to be very vulnerable and maybe make them feel worse because you actually know them. Well, that's another bad thing. But I feel sort of manipulative. I put you in a position to be vulnerable. You were.
It was relaxing.
Do you do it, Monty? Yeah. I think probably everyone does it in certain circumstances. I did it today on the fact check, but that's a little tricky. Because it's a product. It's a product. And so weirdly, it's a mix of these.
We both come in sometimes knowing I'm going to tell this story, knowing it will lead to a real conversation. I, this morning, was like, oh, my hand looks different. Oh, I'm going to bring that up on the fact check.
You get a cut, and then it scars, and then you're looking at your hand, like, whose hand is this? You have very lovely hands. Thank you very much. They were blowing about a week ago.
But anyway, so I sat down and I said, have you ever had this experience? To start the conversation.
Yeah, I did want to know the answer, but also I was like, we're going to talk about this now.
Bye.
Very nice compliment.
Exactly. It's so interesting, this whole topic, because I feel like we think about it a lot. I don't know if I'm going to get in trouble for saying this, but for people who are neurodivergent, like the show everyone loved. Oh, Love on the Spectrum. Yes. I love that show. I didn't watch it. Everyone loved it.
There was a lot of this teaching how to have conversations and active listening, all these tools.
Yes. It's so lovely to see that in practice, but it's also kind of arrogant of neurotypical people who are watching and they're like, yeah, they don't know how to do that.
No one's doing it right.
So fun. And I do think we take for granted conversation. We think we're just going to show up and be able to do it. I really, really like this in the context. I mean, in general, but dating, which we talk about a fair amount and why a lot of these are not very successful.
Exactly.
Because I'm hearing this all the time and nothing's changing.
You're so fun. So helpful for so many people, I think.
You should.
Oh.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
,.
,.
,.
,.
,.
,.
,.
,.
,.
, .
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
,,,,,,,. P P P P P PG實, ac , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a gener a
I think you could, now that we know the definition, it doesn't mean you're declaring that you're gay when you're not and being a hypocrite. And the other one, what was after queer? Bottom. You could, and that would be interesting for people.
Because maybe you are a bottom, even in your heterosexual sex.
Or you're on your back and she's on top.
The top is on.
Right. Right. I know that.
He's technically on top, you're saying.
Physically in space.
But he is a bottom because he's getting penetrated. Yeah.
Okay. Now.
Well, okay. Look, not to make this even more complicated, but the masculine shirt is cherry on top.
So that also could be seen as sexual.
Change it to cherry on bottom.
Yeah, ours are disgusting.
Anyone who wants to. Oh, I see. You're making a joke. I'm making a joke. Oh, wow.
I don't think anyone needs to declare anything. It's a cutesy shirt with a little mouse on it.
I think the deeper problem is we've decided that cookie boy means something that it doesn't.
Right. I mean, I don't know what to say. A cookie boy has nothing to do with sexual appetites.
It has to do with loving cookies.
Tim boy.
A man named Tim? Yeah.
What does it mean?
Gen X is really upset about words. I think, I think millennials aren't thinking like that. It's been Gen, Gen Z and COVID, COVID Gen. They're definitely not thinking about it.
I heard that once, but I think it's called maybe Gen Alpha or something.
I know, but I actually think theirs makes more sense because millennials have such. Yeah, we have.
My brothers in my gen that we are not in the same. We shouldn't be in the same gen.
No, he grew up with internet and phones and stuff. I got one in college or late high school. You know, it's just different.
Well, I guess I sort of have an update here, sort of.
Yeah. Okay. So I think I dropped an album that The Matchmaker entered my life again.
With an option that was intriguing to me. Yeah. And we texted a little bit to make a date. Yeah.
Correct. And so it was very just like logistics. There was like one cute exchange and then it was on to logistics.
I guess so.
So this was Saturday and he said, I have a really busy week. What about next weekend? And I said, yeah, that should work. And he said, you're in blank, right? Well, it feels. What if I started getting very protective? And I was like, yeah, and you're on the West side. And then he never responded. Again.
I said. I asked the question. And you're on the West Side, question mark.
And that was Saturday. Okay. He didn't respond.
And so I was like.
Well, no. I was like, what happened? But.
Okay. Whatever. Who cares? Right. And then on Friday, he texted. Six days later. Uh-huh. Six days later. Well, I guess it's seven days. Yeah. Yeah. And he said, hey, sorry this got away from me. are you still good for this weekend? And I was like, no.
Right?
Yeah, okay.
Then I felt like, oh, am I just being... Like doing a normal, like this is an out. Finding a way. Finding a way out, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly. It's not for me.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
I said I at first I was I was like going to be pretty harsh. And then I backed off and I just said, what did I say exactly? Let's see what I said.
Kind of. I wanted to see how he would respond.
Yeah. I said, you're on the West Side? He said, hey, sorry, lost track of this. Yeah, I'm on the West Side a week later. Yeah, yeah. Are you still good with tomorrow? I said, hey, no problem. I made plans this weekend, but happy to try to schedule something again. And then he said, oh, okay, bummer. Well, we can try another time. That was it.
And I said, yeah, for sure. I said, next week nights are pretty open for me other than this, and I didn't hear anything back. So...
Right. I agree. I agree. And that was my instinct. But then I thought, well, maybe whatever. Like, I don't know him.
Wait, sorry, I have one more twin thing. I know we're past twins. I have to know if you have the thing that they all have where you can sort of read each other's minds.
I mean, I was just like, I don't maybe I should give it another like offer up some other option.
Thank you. Well, for me, I kind of thought, oh, this person is used to that being fine.
Well, I think it's kind of generous. It's like for him, women are happy to just go out with him when he's ready to go out with him. She said he's really hot and tall. So, like, I don't know.
Well, I agree. Like, good for you if this has worked out for you in the past, but that is not.
I know.
Can't do that.
I know.
Yeah.
Right.
I just didn't want to get into that. Right. Then it's like, oh, sorry. Or whatever he's got. I don't want to really have that interaction with someone I don't really know. Although I did. That was my instinct. And I did ask for advice. And I guess it was I got bad advice.
I don't know. But he didn't respond again. So, like, I'm not seeing him, obviously. And that's two strikes. That's two strikes.
Yeah.
Well, I am.
You don't think that about the apps, but I guess you're the one scrolling.
I don't think it's that dissimilar from telling all your friends like, hey, I am single and I want you to keep your eye out for me. This is what I like. Yes.
Yeah.
There's like real tricks for conversation.
Yeah, I understand that. I understand that.
Yeah.
But I agree with you. I don't think in all these cases, it's not necessarily... I don't know how. I do think a lot of it is like, make this easier for me. But it is hard to date. So I do think, you know, make this easier for me is a real thing to want and pursue. Yeah. I mean, of course, my ego also. Even when he said, I'm busy, I was like, bitch. Yeah. I'm busy too.
You're not the only... And I do think... I mean, I don't know what he knows about me.
If he knows my last name. I don't know if he's... I don't know. It's kind of what you've talked about before of like the really, really, really gross part of being so insecure, but also...
like knowing your worth or like having like a a strong ego too zero self-esteem and megalomaniacal thinking that's that's me i know but and i but i don't i don't think i'm megalomaniacal you're not as extreme on either ends of the spectrum right exactly yes but i i do think there are moments and it i guess it depends on who i'm interacting with but in this case
When he when he says, like, I'm so busy with no other question. You know, it's not like I'm so busy. What do you do? What do you you know, it's just like this is this is my life. I'm busy.
Yes. And then what happens for me, which is equally gross.
Is you have to work your way into my life. This is not going to work because I'm you.
Okay.
No, I don't think, no.
I don't think it's, I'm not, I don't think I'm unattractive.
Okay, yes, but I do think, I think I'm ugly, but that I, there is something overall. Yeah, overall. All right, so now I don't even feel bad.
Yeah, I guess. Although when you say it out loud, it's like, no, if I'm ugly, I can't be a catch.
I hate myself. I need to read an upcoming guest book. But I really don't. I don't hate myself. No. I mean, I don't.
And you know it. I do know it.
Yeah.
I don't know if it would help me to know that because I think it's, I actually think, really?
Yeah, I am.
Yes, I am.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess so. I but I I wonder if I just had like 100 percent self-esteem, no insecurities. I felt so good.
I don't know that I would ever find some. I mean, I already am never finding someone. So I guess what would be the difference?
I guess that's true.
But I think I would.
Yeah, I'm not.
Yeah.
It's scary.
It worked out.
But, okay, I have a bad question. Okay. Do you think, my stomach's around. Also, this is kind of a ding, ding, ding, because this is for Allison, conversations, dating.
Talking. Yeah. So this is very relevant, actually.
You do recognize, right, that like, or am I wrong? I mean.
Do you ever get to the face?
Not everyone's physically beautiful. Or am I wrong about that?
Right.
Exactly.
Physically, just by looking, no personality.
Kristen, like I think 100% of people will see, just see her face.
Yeah.
Right. And you don't think.
But you don't think on face. I mean, you can do. I mean, I think confidence. But that doesn't do anything to their. You think it like morphs their face?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think you potentially like personality more than your average Joe. I think you're right.
Yeah, but I'm like, there's no one left.
I kind of think there's no one left. It's like the guys who respect a woman's personality and is attracted to that and like that. Yeah. They're gone. They're taken. Like those people are, for women, that is the most attractive thing.
Okay. Well.
That's true. Yeah. Whoa.
We are lost indeed. Okay.
I know, but that's... I know, but it's not me.
I... And then this is the other swing that I'm talking... I know me.
I am not unclear about me. Like, I know... who I am, and I like that person. So I am not going to be like, I guess maybe I'll change up this whole me in order to be- Broadcast. Exactly, to broadcast or be more like overtly attractive to people.
Yeah.
Uh huh.
Yeah, that's true. And just with age, probably.
I know the point you're making.
I know that.
I know. I know what you're saying. But you might not be hearing what I'm saying, which is I get that.
I am not someone who—and I like this about me. I am not someone who is like, look at me. I'm so unique. I'm so special. For me, I'm like, you get to know me and you have that. You make your opinion. Yeah. Hopefully you come to that conclusion. Yeah. But I am not here to, yeah, to like throw that in your face. And I like that about me. I don't, I don't love when people need to do that.
But that's what I'm saying. That's why I'm ugly. Like, if you have to get over the hump of my face... Oh, my God.
Okay, let's do it. We have some- Yeah, we got to wrap up. Yeah, we really do.
Oh my God.
Wow, wow, wow.
Okay, so some facts for Allison.
I loved this episode. I thought she was really interesting. Just the most basic topic possible. We really do take for granted. I thought about it a few times in conversation.
Yes, exactly. And even just like boomerang questions I've noticed from people, even me, I think about ending on a question. You know, I've just been more aware, which has been interesting. Yeah.
And the group hierarchies in conversation. That's really fascinating to watch.
Yeah, I loved it. Okay, I'm going to play a tiny bit of Diet Pepsi, a song by Addison Rae that comes up in the episode.
Yeah, you might need to.
Oh, God, that's a lot to balance.
Costco chain.
Yeah. I mean. Okay.
No, it's great. But it's exactly what I said about cookie boy.
Confidence.
But.
It's the same. Okay. How many people are mirror twins? About 25% of identical twins are mirror twins.
You wanted 90.
I know, but you can still ask because maybe you'll find one of the 25%. Yeah.
Exactly. Okay, so we talked about coordination games, game theory for a little bit, which was interesting. And there's some classic ones, Prisoner's Dilemma, which we spoke about.
That part is very cool.
The Battle of the Sexes. Okay, I'm going to read about that for a second. Okay. The game involves two players, boy and girl, deciding either going to a football game or going to an opera for their date, which respectively represent boys and girls' preferred activity, i.e., boy prefers football game and girl prefers opera.
This example is a two-person, non-cooperative, non-zero-sum, that's called a TNNC, game with opposite payoffs or conflicting preferences. Okay.
Because there are two Nash equilibria, this case is a pure coordination problem with no possibility of refinement or selection. Thus, the two players will try to maximize their own payoff or to sacrifice for the other and yet non-zero sum for you if you lose, I guess.
I see.
Right. Okay. Thus, the two players will try to maximize their own payoff or to sacrifice for the other. And yet the strategy without coordination will lead to two outcomes with even worse payoffs for both if they have disagreement on what to do on their date.
That's all it says.
Sure, maybe all of them have that element.
Now there's a matching pennies game.
This game is a two person zero sum game. In order to play this game, both players will each need to be given a fair two sided penny. To start the game, both players will each choose to either flip their penny to heads or tails. This action is to be done in secrecy and there should be no attempt at investigating the choice of the other player.
After both players have confirmed their decisions, they will simultaneously reveal their choices. This concludes the actions taken by the players to determine the outcome. The win condition for this game is different for both players. For simplicity and explanation, let's denote the players as player one and player two. In order for player one to win, the faces of the pennies must match.
In order for player two to win, the faces of the pennies must be different.
The payoff slash prize of this game is receiving the loser's penny in addition to your own.
Two pennies.
Well, you'd keep playing and playing. Yeah. Looking at this matrix, we can conclude a few basic observations. One, for all scenarios, there will be a winner and a loser. Two, this is a zero-sum game where the payout to the winner is equal to the loss of the loser.
Three, there is no pure strategy Nash equilibrium. We don't know what that is.
Okay.
Non-cooperative games are generally analyzed through the non-cooperative game theory framework, which attempts to predict players' individual strategies and payoffs and in order to find the Nash equilibria. I love this.
This is so fancy and hard. I'm going to become an expert in game theory.
I'm not smart enough for that, but I want to be. So maybe I will. Okay. That's that. Kant's dinner party rules. Conversation structure.
I know, and I want to. Conversation structure. Dinner conversation should have three stages. Narration, argumentation, jesting. Lighthearted plays of wit.
Code of secrecy. Dinner party conversations should not be discussed with anyone outside of the dinner party.
Purpose.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. I just want you to know up front. You're not invited. Okay. The goal of Kant's dinner parties was to encourage civility and listening to others. Kant believed that participants would hear each other and feel heard. Other dinner party etiquette tips. RSVP. Arrive on time. Be respectful of the host's practices, beliefs, and environment. That's bad for you. You won't eat the gluten bread. Okay.
Be a good conversationalist.
Be a good conversationalist. Bring a gift or something for the party to enjoy.
Parties should be limited to nine people and no fewer than three to avoid side conversations.
There was, and it was driving you a little nuts. Yeah, it's a little. All right, that's it. That was everything.
Love you.
Yeah, we really want that. Yeah. She's one of the guests that we have that is a teacher at a fancy school and their class is like so impacted. The most impacted, yes. People really want it.
No, I do.
Oh, right. We did talk about that.
Do you know I often, I have a recurring dream.
That I am not finished, like everyone's finished work. With their classes, it's the last semester and I forgot to like put my classes in correctly. And now I'm behind and I'm gonna have to take all these extra classes to graduate. And then I'm also looking at the classes and I really want this specific class because it's like the fun class that everyone wants to take. I have this dream a lot.
Yeah.
It's had a real resurgence. I was just at a friend's house in Georgia and all the kids were playing this.
What are they saying? Like, hey, you should really think about my client. And you're like, yes or no. And then they call back and say, actually, you really should. All the time. And then the manager would call and say, this is the person.
Growing Pains. I fucked that up. That's sad. You wanted to ask about an early Leonardo DiCaprio.
Oh, and Tom Hanks.
Yes, and it looked fun.
It's the reality of the times. It's not like anyone was kind of— No, it's the reality of the times.
Some of these things, like, I think should be in the Smithsonian.
I don't know. They're all in my storage unit. That's fantastic.
Also a 1920s Spanish-style villa.
I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.
We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.
And it looks very profesh.
Therapy is essential to me during the holidays especially because I generally am going home.
And I need sort of some stability from my therapy and guidance to stay nice.
Already, I'm already in. It's already tasty. Okay, well.
That I was feisty?
What a cast.
You were? Yes.
Well, no, sorry. I first worked for them as a nanny. So I worked for both of them originally.
He was kind of hot at the time. Oh, enormous. He was definitely physically hot at the time. He also was in the zeitgeist. Breathtaking. Yeah.
Periphery.
It's so true.
And then maybe you were also going in and because you thought they didn't like you, you might have been being mean.
Not mean, but you might not have been warm.
I was like, wow, this kid from Punk, he's really actually a good actor.
That's so funny. I had the opposite feeling towards casting.
Like, I knew about you way before I moved to L.A. I was like, oh, my God. That is shocking to me. She's the person. And if I could get an audition. Like, even just getting an audition. I remember when it happened. And I was like, oh, my God. This is the craziest day of my life. I was so excited. But to me, casting directors were almost like teachers.
The teacher I wanted the approval from, the person who was going to give me an A plus. And obviously I wanted the job, but I really wanted the casting director to like me so much. Yes. Which I think backfired a lot because then I wasn't just me. In commercials, this is probably bad to say, I did really well in commercials because I didn't care that much. which I just went in and did it.
And then lo and behold, you do pretty well when you don't overthink or you can just be you. Yeah, I had that. I was like, Cassie, you're an actress. Please love me. She's a good actress, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very sweet.
Yeah, exactly.
Now the show's over. Yeah, I got in the sweet spot right before it ended too.
Allison Jones.
It was before, because House of Lies, as House of Lies was ending, kind of, is when I started taking on more stuff.
Yeah, when all of your favorite comedies you look and it's you who's casted. Wait a minute. Yeah, I think this might be about her.
God, yes.
Yeah, I think it's because comedy requires you to be paying attention. It requires a lot of pain. It does.
The camera stuff is new for all of us actually here, but you forget.
Oh, God.
It would be so hard for me for them to be passing on Brie Larson and Elizabeth Banks and Amy Adams. I would be like, guys, why are you doing this?
Exactly. I would be saying it.
Yeah, exactly.
And you deserve to have the ego. Your resume.
We call it ABR, always recording. Let me get this coffee. Okay.
And you're talking about in a studio.
She's a casting extraordinaire.
We love. The best of the very best.
I think a mix is always good. Like if you, for the most part, stick to the sides the whole time, but maybe you improvise on the button or you add a little something. You better ask. Okay, great.
I was going to say that.
Yeah, you can't take on everyone's energy. The amount of energy. Oh, my God. But God bless actors.
Now we're adding up to like half a Kristen Bell. All three, it's looking pretty good.
Earlier you said, I love meeting new people, as all casting directors do, but I don't think that's true. I think you're an exception. I think a lot of casting directors, they don't necessarily want to see anyone new. They want reliable people they already know, and I think it's special.
That's not real for anyone.
Well, I think it's special.
But I think that's an exception. I really do. You really do? I don't know. I think it's special.
It's not a humble opinion. Your opinion, again, your resume is insane. I was right to be so excited to get an audition from you.
You're a legend.
That's insane.
It's where the party's at. Yeah, but it's fine.
Monica? Two. Me and my brother. He's eight years younger than me, though. Yeah.
Sturdy?
Right.
That's true.
He wants to show up for his friends.
Yeah.
It's like a reindeer.
I think he's a bear reindeer.
It's from Pottery Barn Kids.
I think those are ears and then he, and then.
Horns.
Is it remote control? That's our hat.
Yeah, so he's just sitting on some branches.
Yeah, it's festive in here.
Yeah, which we should tell, we have a holiday episode coming up. It's a bonus episode.
That's a coming.
It will be on YouTube though.
I think people should watch it on YouTube.
Great.
What constitutes a great meditation?
And it definitely would have been her.
That was the first thing out.
That would be great. People would buy it. Are you done with your Christmas shopping?
She does all Mike's stuff. Basically.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
Enjoy it.
Well, it's not always the rules. You can make new rules. Like Secret Turkey, we have to make our gifts. You don't have to go out and buy. It's just taking time to think about people.
That would be nice.
Wow. Dr. Seussian.
Yeah. Your favorite word.
Okay.
And he still had.
His wife's still alive?
Yeah.
Yeah, we need to know.
Is this the pumping the brakes thing?
Yeah.
You did.
Yeah, and we used to ask all British people if they agreed with this, and pretty much no one did.
Yeah. For me, the most intimate is holding hands. I have to basically... be about to marry you in order to hold my hand.
Well, this happened. It happened? I went on a couple dates with someone and they held my hand and I- You were ready. Was like, what are you doing?
I guess the only real memory I have of having my handheld is as a kid from my parents.
Or my grandparents or someone like making sure I was safe.
It wasn't just, no one in my family just holds hands. They don't. Yeah. I think it's on too, but it's my life. So my parents don't hold hands or anything. So it wasn't, it wasn't a symbol of like romantic affection. It was a symbol of safety and that's extremely intimate.
So unless you're about to propose, you're not allowed to hold my hand.
Yeah.
Yeah. I feel like you hold your, you hold Kristen's hand, you hold people's hands. I hold Aaron's hand. Yeah. Yeah.
I think it's very nice. Yeah.
It is. It is. Okay, do I have my Christmas presents done? This year, I didn't feel like I got the there was a perfect gift for anyone, really. So I didn't really so far. I haven't got the satisfaction that I normally get in buying presents. But that's OK. You can't win every time.
Well, I know everyone will like it.
Yeah.
But I, it wasn't, I wasn't like, I'm not feeling like, I'm so excited for everyone to open their gifts. To see their faces. And see it and they're going to, and it's so thoughtful. It's like not as thoughtful this year, but you know, it's okay.
A lot is sold. You said a lot was sold out and I thought you were just being nice. But then I went on to buy some, to send some stuff to my mom to buy me. And because she needs, she needs a written list.
And a lot was gone. Oh, yeah. I wanted stuff off of that. Virtually nothing.
Oh, they got back in stock?
Yeah.
Oh, that's nice. That is really nice.
It's not.
I know.
Oh boy. Yeah. Yeah, the signature can get very stressful.
What?
Like I have to sign for it.
It's true, but this is what happens with technology. We just get accustomed to...
Yeah. And we want it to be, I mean, again, we've talked about this a lot, but like the amount of minutes my brain has spent on wishing there was teleportation and really wishing, like thinking like, I think that's coming and that needs to come now.
Yeah. Where is it? Yeah.
Who knows?
No.
Sure. I know. Wild.
Well... I think these are- You look great. Thank you.
Thank you. But I think these are actually dark navy.
They are. They are.
I bought these at a store. And when I bought them, they were navy.
I want to be honest and say I don't really remember, but I'm pretty sure they were.
Hold on.
Yeah. Okay. Thank you, Rob, for being honest, speaking your mind. Yeah.
Look, I will say.
I know. I will say that normally I'm more, it's Navy. Like I feel very definitive about it.
I'll give you that these, a couple times I've thought, are these black? But then they're not.
You prefer me to say these aren't Navy than are these black?
I just think it's literally the exact same thing. This is like what happens on sets where there's a line written and normally the writer says like, oh, this is the best way to say it. The main writer. Well, sometimes me. Yeah, I mean, sometimes me. Exactly. And says, well, no, this is... I've dissected that this is the funniest way to say it.
And then the actor or whoever will say the same line.
And then the original person is like, oh, no, no, no. Can you go back? Can you say...
I don't care.
This isn't Navy and is this black?
No, they're not.
Are these black?
Okay. Are these black?
New read. Oh, is this Navy?
No, but do the Navy one.
Oh, but I want you to do both so I could pick in the edit. Oh, oh. My God. You told me. You set this up.
Oh, my God.
That was such a Rob joke.
It wasn't a pun, though, but it was like a behavioral pun.
Yeah. Wow, that was great. Okay, wait, so.
Yeah, this is just like.
No, no, no, no, no. It's, I just thought it was chic.
People want to.
Because I have a fuzz.
Okay. I look down. This is my outfit. And then I saw I have a bunch of fuzzies on.
You're dressed to impress.
For me to look at my outfit and not look at my boobs, I'd have to like- Okay, fair, fair. I feel so conscious now.
That was so long ago. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you had a great meditation. Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Oh, I'm sorry. Well, also to them, like the 50s is like the 1900s to us.
I don't want to watch a movie about the 1900s.
That's cute.
So then you just text it throughout the whole movie.
Acting used to be so easy. All you had to do was move your tongue around.
God, yes.
And it was considered good acting.
Really?
Hold on. Do a roll. Do it. As if you're, yeah, I want to see it.
It's a little out. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I guess I have seen that face.
Why?
Since when do you want to clean it up? It's the holidays. The holidays are sexy. What are you talking about? People love to have sex.
And for... People in couples, they have sex by the fire and stuff.
Yeah, but for even, right? People with children, like, don't they still have sex by the fire?
Why not?
But do you have a fireplace?
Well, you should fuck in front of it.
Oh, no. And I know that. They think it's because of that?
I'm kind of curious why it bumps you.
Well, that's the whole thing when your parents are afraid you're going to move to Hollywood and then become a porn actor. Yes. That's like the whole thing. That's the stereotype. They're like, don't go become, you're going to get sucked into porn.
Well, maybe then. Maybe he was just following his dad's dream.
Yes, I was about to say that he was.
I haven't watched it since I learned that information, but yes, I can't, I wouldn't, I can't like see a picture and not think that.
But I also, it's more than just like, oh, he did a porno. It feels dark. There's something that feels dark about it.
For me, TV, I was obsessed. And now when it's like screen time, that was not a thing. My parents were like, you can watch as much TV forever.
Would you really have?
I guess you're hanging out with them.
No. You'd have sex with them, but you wouldn't have them film it. On camera.
Have you ever filmed yourself having sex?
Why?
People do.
No. Or has... Okay.
I'm surprised.
We're not saying who with.
Wait, what's the difference? This is like the... I'll tell you the difference.
Right.
Yeah. No, I didn't do that. Oh, then what is running some video on nudity? What's that look like?
But it's not the act.
Okay. Okay. Okay. I mean, I don't have any problem with people making a sex tape.
Having sex by the fire. The holidays. Like most couples do.
All right. Well, this is for Allison Jones. And this is our last episode of the year. I mean, sort of. We have a...
No, no, no, we do. But this is our last real episode. Then we have an Armchair Anonymous coming out on Friday. And then we have our holiday special.
Okay.
Fantastic year.
Yeah.
We added this location. That was a big deal. That was scary. That was a big change, a big challenge.
And we're embracing it.
It's nice.
Oh my gosh. I can't believe I forgot to say this. Do you know that the Pantone color of the year was announced?
Okay.
Yeah. I'm so sorry. It's taken me this long.
But do you know what it is? No, close.
It's called mocha mousse, which is basically mocha mouse, which is basically brown mouse.
It's brown.
Okay, fine. Hold up the Pantone color to your cheeks. It's not really, but no, that one's little.
It's called mocha. Miniature mousse? Mocha mousse.
The TV shows were the babysitters. But for me, it was such a fantasy world. Like I could go in and I could pretend I was in full house and the whole thing. Did you have that with TV? Like you were using it as an escape or not really?
Okay, but it's a little more pink.
But that's a great sign.
That's a good omen.
Yeah, I think so. For all all of the people who listen, it's going to be a great year.
Yes, that's the whole you know, it's my background on my phone.
That's the whole that's what I do.
Yeah, sometimes.
Mocha Moose. Moose Knuckle. Brown Mouse. They'll do some collabs. Sometimes there's often a mug. I might get that this year. Yeah. And yeah, so I make the background of my phone the color.
Yeah, that's more peach. That's more what this year's was.
Uh-uh.
No, I don't get to put it on until January 1st.
Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Do they have the mug?
Okay, great. Oh, I wish they made an iPhone case in it.
That would be great because then the wallpaper, everything would be brown mouse.
Anyway, this is this year's. That's more nude to me. I mean, the color.
I don't know.
Yeah, and the mocha mousse is nude for a brown person. Light brown person.
Whatever. I embrace this as me.
I didn't. I promise. It's because when you zoom in, for some reason it looks.
Yeah, so there you go.
Okay, two facts. One, she got her business degree for $750 a trimester at UCLA. Now, I made a mistake when I checked this fact before.
When I type in now, UCLA business degree cost, it says the total cost of the MBA program is, Is $128,000 per year, including tuition and living expenses. The tuition is $78,000 per year.
It must have been not the MBA program that I looked at. It must have been regular tuition. Because I Googled this now like eight times because I was also confused. Right. That's wild.
Yeah. So obviously I looked up the wrong thing. Yeah. So I don't know.
All right. And then why are they called sides?
In acting, sides refers to a specific part of a script given to actors for auditions because historically actors would only receive their own lines from a scene, essentially just their side of the dialogue, which helped protect the full script from being copied or shared with competitors, especially during Shakespeare's time when printing was limited, hence the term sides.
We also discovered that he's married. His wife's name is Anne Hathaway.
That is shocking. And I'm surprised that I didn't know that.
No, because I had to take a lot of Shakespeare.
I should have known that. Maybe I did and I blocked it. I don't know. But Anne Hathaway, well, she is a style icon.
I agree. I agree. I agree.
Yeah, I mean, Princess Diaries, she was just two years old.
No, but she was young.
Not as young as Pepsi Girl.
I would love to interview her and ask her that.
Or if she wants to come in as Anne Hathaway, Shakespeare's wife.
That would be cool. Yeah. Who could I be? I don't think they have many brown. I will dress up as a piece of poop on the floor. What? Because they didn't have very many brown people.
We're trying to be true to the times.
I know who I'll be, a butler.
Chambermaid? Because they had Indian... Servants?
I think. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure back then, England, because they owned India. Listen, I'll be a poop.
Piece of poop.
Wow. All right. Well, we aren't going to do this again until I guess the holiday special, but that'll be a little different.
And then next year, 2025, your 50th year.
Yeah.
And 2025 feels really sharp.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's something about you being 50 and it being 25. That's nice.
You should be more excited about that. All right. All right, love you. Love you.
Hugely important, especially for the talent. You don't really realize that until you come here and you're like, oh, wow, casting directors and casting is a huge component of this.
Yeah, they don't know.
You don't like platitudes.
But do you think everyone has to have a personality that you interact with?
You were just making it a transaction.
You should have taken the jacket at that point.
Oh, fuck. Sometimes kindness can really bite you.
I mean, it really can. Actually, this is interesting when you're talking about the shawl. For us, it's humiliating for him to just give you something and then you're giving money. But is it humiliating? Objectively, not really, right? If they want the thing. Oh, yeah. Emotionally, it feels horrible to watch it, but also they don't feel horrible.
Yeah. This is the ozempic conversation for a lot of people. Yeah.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
He picks them out so specifically that I understand.
Oh, so he was thanking you guys, sort of.
He's a progressive pope, right? That's a whole thing.
That's great. It's funny what you just said about you think it's a joke about one thing and then it's not. And that's why it's actually funny because it's actually not offensive. But you're scared that it is. And then you're like, oh, I can laugh. There's like a relief in it. I was watching Shane Gillis's stand up.
He's very, very funny. But it came out like a year ago and a lot of people watched it. And I remember Kristen was like, I don't think you should watch it. You won't like it to me. So I didn't. And then since then, we've had some other people on who I do think are offensive. So then I was like, now I want to see this guy and see.
And I don't find it offensive at all because it's so nuanced who you're making fun of.
Yeah. I think that's what separates a very, very good comedian from a shock jock. And to some people, it can all sound the same, but it's really, really not.
That's why you're there.
It's so ironic because it's an attempt to be inclusive. And then, in fact, it just sort of erases people's individual identities.
But as soon as they even meet you for lunch, they're not going to be that. They're not that. That's a presence you're able to have when you're not in front of another person. That's an online rage.
Our most... frequented guest.
Could you see it or you could only smell it?
Do you want to explain the value of art to Dax? Because he has a hard time understanding it.
Well, you fight back against it.
Yeah, I've been in that position, too. I mean, you're ordering the thing you want to eat. So, yeah, you don't want to give half of it away.
You can soften it by just saying, let's get two.
Okay, but you both have money so you can say, let's start with two and maybe we'll get another one if everyone's still hungry. Nope. You guys aren't resonating with this?
Yeah. And did you eat them both all or were you like, I'll save some, take some home or no? No.
Well, yeah, maybe part of it is the big family, but the addict thing is a piece of this.
But back to the Ozempic thing, I agree with you. I think that takes away your desire for food, and that's sad.
No, it just makes her human.
That's actually a great question for people.
I am not in a rush to get it off, but I wait till the longest moment before I put it on in the morning. So like if it's a weekend and I'm not going out anywhere, I probably won't wear one. But when I get home from work, I'm not like, I got to get this thing off.
Why I don't put it on?
I have great bras, skims, shout out sponsor.
I think women say it in a sexual context, but I agree that you're not like, I'm going shopping for panties today.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.
Yeah. But I agree with you. That's how all things become palatable. You meet people who you like, who are of different religions, races, all of these things. And then you're like, oh, that's fine now.
You are. You, I think, have the crown for the most.
Keep coming back, please. Every armchair, if you ask anyone, like, who are your favorite guests?
Yeah, but I'm trying not to be stressed out because... Buddhism. Yeah. I'm trying. I was yesterday. Did you get impacted by the... Extremely impacted by White Lotus finale. Yeah. We won't talk about it with the details because you haven't finished, but I do want to talk about it overall. There are so many parts of the whole season.
The whole season is about, I mean, the whole series is really about Buddhism, I think. But this season specifically is like, you know, kind of hitting you over the head with it a little bit.
Yes. He, oh my God. Mike White? I just think Mike White is so brilliant in his accuracy. Like everything, every storyline is so accurate.
But so funny. He dabbles in Buddhism. So it comes through in all the seasons, I think. Yeah. Because I think what they're all saying in different ways, obviously, the first season is a class is speaking to class.
And second season is speaking to relationships. And then this one is religion that it's he just shows over and over again how. flimsy our grasp on reality is uh-huh like what we think is true to us and what our identities are and who we are and even our beliefs are are are so flimsy everything
Not anymore for a lot of people.
Yeah, but then we put so much on top of it. The expense, like I'm going to a fancy restaurant tonight. That proves that I'm valuable in society and that people want to be, I'm superior. Like we put, we make all these hierarchies and it's all made up. Like everything is made up. I was, because yesterday I was walking to go somewhere to work and
And I like sat down with my computer and I thought, how do Buddhists work? Like, I don't want to do like, what is the point of this? What is the point of sitting here and picking apart this conversation and making it sound good? And all of this is for money. And like, why?
It is. I know. And... I know. But for me, there's stress on it, right? Like I'm doing it so that it's so good so that we are able to have all these downloads and then we're able to earn our money. And it's all like – and I'm able to feel comfortable in that big house. Like it's all –
Yeah, it's all dumb. And it is so, so ironic and so stupid. But I, the weekend started. I mean, again, this is like a bottle. This isn't a bottle episode, but it kind of is.
On Friday, I mean, on Saturday, I went shopping with Callie. And as we love to do.
I went to a new store that I was really excited to go to. That's a fancy store that, you know, you walk in and you do, it's very pretty woman. You come in and you have to prove yourself there a little bit.
And Callie even said, she was like- Opposite of Costco.
Completely opposite of Costco. Costco is a fantastic company. Like when we walked up, they said, do you have an appointment? And we said, no. And then they said, okay, it's fine. How many? And we said two. And they said we could go in. While we were there, there was a watch.
There was a gorgeous watch too, actually. And the first one I tried on was gold Cartier. Beautiful. It has like this tiny face. I love, I love a tiny face.
I love it. It's so tiny. You wouldn't believe it.
It's so tiny. And, you know, I put it on and it was beautiful. And then he said the price. I was like, oh my.
Yes. And I was kind of like, get it off. Like, I can't.
It shouldn't be on me. Like, get it off.
So he took it off. But there was this other one I had seen, and Cal was like, maybe you should try on that other one. He put it on my wrist. White gold Cartier, tiny face. Also vintage. I mean, it is so pretty. It looks great on my wrist. Yeah. It's extremely unique. Uh-huh. Ask the price, he told me. It was significantly cheaper than the first one.
Felt cheap. I said, I'm going to think about it. Yeah, okay. Took it off. Callie made me promise her I wouldn't buy it that day.
She said, that's something to think about.
And I said, sure. Yes, that's right.
Well, that's where this is going.
So I... was ruminating on this watch for 48 hours, basically.
And I, you know, I was like, I really, you know, I was looking on the internet to see if I could find anything like it.
Yeah, it's like they wore blue shirts. Can you believe?
Well, I've been scouring online.
It's nowhere to be found. They found the only one. And so, you know, then I was like, God, should I do it? And then I've been asking people, and of course, some people are like, absolutely not, no.
And then some people are like, well, I mean, like, it is an investment. It's a, you know, people do that. So anyway, you know, I've been doing this whole thing. A lot of math in your head. A lot of math, a lot of thought about this watch and- And then I am watching the episode.
And there's a scene. Yeah. There's a scene with the mother and the daughter. Have you got there? Yeah. Okay. We're basically the daughter who's been, she's there to become Buddhist. She wants to go to this monastery. She wants to live there for a year. Yes. And the mom says, you need to stay there for one night.
And like, if you're fine with that, then okay.
Which seemed like an easy thing to do, right?
And she goes and she comes back and essentially, if you haven't watched this yet, maybe turn it off, but like- Or fast forward is what you want to do.
Or fast forward. She's crying because she just can't do it. She's crying because she's spoiled and she says she's so spoiled. But even the fact that she's a victim in that is also funny to me.
She was, but it is like, I don't know. She's getting comforted because she's so spoiled. She can't live in a modest, you know, I don't know. Anyway, she basically says like, I can't do it. And the mom is like, And she basically gives sort of a disgusting, but in some ways scarily viable reason for why they should be spending their money and living rich.
And I was just like, oh my God.
Yeah. Oh, and then there's, for me, the most poignant scene in the... Well, there's a few.
Yeah, that's part of it.
But it's all subconscious. It's murky. It is a I did good thing. But with the I did good comes subconsciously some on this hierarchy of humanity. Yeah. I have achieved a position that's fairly high up.
And that's wild and dumb.
Also, what if your job is you go work at the nursing home? You did fucking good. Oh, yeah.
But they don't have money and Cartier watches to show for that.
They're all presentations. I mean, It's so depressing. Mike White says, you know, identity, what Buddhists believe identity is suffering. You know, that is what causes it. You're tied to your identity. Yeah. And yes, and it can cause pride.
Right, exactly. That's the whole point is nothing's... Nothing's fundamental. It's all based on where you are, who you are in that moment, what you believe in that moment, but could change at any second. But there is, I do think one thing that is, that is fundamental, which is love. Like that is part of this show, this series, but also the, um, season two, um,
Where, like, one of the characters has the most bizarre arc of the whole, I think, of anyone. Saxon, that character.
Where he's, like, repugnant.
And very much tied to money and... Being a successful businessman, like his father.
You know, masculinity.
And then, by the end, he, like... Two of the characters, he sees love for real.
And he is about to, he's like crying.
Because he wants that. That's really what is all there is to have.
So I'm not getting my watch.
Yeah, they don't think like that.
I mean, they're not going to... try to anti-age. No, they're gonna... Right. They're accepting that this is one... For them, one... One droplet out of the ocean and we come back to it. I do... I think it's a very beautiful idea that we come back and we find this, we find our people again.
In different forms.
I think I believe it. Like there are people in my life that I feel I've known.
Who knows? Like who knows in what way?
What does he say? I don't remember.
I don't think, it's not a judgment. It's an acknowledgement that the way modern humans, mostly, not all, walk through the world is doing us a disservice. We are causing ourselves so much suffering in pursuit of pleasure. Yeah, yeah.
Right. But I guess they would say that's his identity. He doesn't have one. He's a person that did those things, right?
Right, yeah. I mean, I hear what you're saying, but I guess the goal, I think, is that you aren't doing any of that. You aren't doing that. You're not, like, saying my identity is that I help people, even that. Like, you don't put the labels on yourself because they're, as they would say, a prison. Your identity is a prison.
Whether it's a good cage, whether it's an admirable cage or not, it's still a constriction.
Yeah, it's a lot to sit with.
I'm not getting my watch. I am wearing another watch I have right now.
It's not a, I mean, yeah, we brought in material items and things, but it's just about the treadmill. The treadmill every person is on.
To get to the next rung. Yeah.
no real satisfaction that we're all doing that wherever you are on this ladder.
And that's the whole thing that is causing pain.
So I... You're Buddhist. I'm quitting.
And I'm not buying that watch, I'll tell you that.
Well, no, if you are truly committed to Buddhism. Yeah. There isn't a goal. You are there. You you are present. That's the goal. Like it's not. I agree. Even enlightenment isn't.
Well, I'm going to try. I don't know. It's just a lot. Like, it's hard to look around. It's hard to have this sense of, like, that's correct. Like, I think that's correct that our identities are prisons. Yeah. Yet I have constructed a hard identity for myself and I know that.
And so to carry both, like to know I'm doing a thing that I know.
I'm participating in a thing that I actually know is not the ideal way.
That's like a hard thing for me currently today to reconcile. Yeah.
You couldn't sell liquor on Sunday in North Carolina until... I wonder, it might have to do with the hub of the plane. Delta is an Atlanta plane. And I think you can drink there now on Sundays or buy liquor. But at one point you couldn't. So maybe you wouldn't be able to on that plane. But on United, you could.
I think most people could never...
Achieve full enlightenment.
Yeah. Or be like truly Buddhist. I don't. So, yeah. Everyone who believes, not everyone, but most people who believe any of this is, you are combining it with the reality of, especially in this country, with our world, you know, with our.
Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. Interesting.
Okay. This is for David Sedaris.
Yeah, he's incredible. He's just incredible.
Okay. Now, was there a time where you couldn't order a drink on an airplane? Cause it's Sunday. Yeah. No. I mean, maybe at some point you couldn't drink at all, obviously, on planes. But state laws regarding alcohol sales, such as blue laws, do not apply to alcoholic beverages sold on airplanes, even if the state has such laws.
Airlines are subject to federal regulations regarding the sale of alcohol, which generally supersedes state laws.
Well, weed is different unless they're eating it. Yeah. Like, you wouldn't want the smoke.
Well, a legal drug. I'll probably not allow. Yeah.
I don't think so. The priest dress is... A cassock, Catholic cassock or cassock. It has 33 buttons representing the years of Jesus's life. Anglican cassocks may have 39 buttons symbolizing the 39 articles of religion.
Okay. I have a surprise.
I know. I brought everyone one of the books, the book, the children's book, The Story of the Little Mole Who Went in Search of Whodunit. This is the story about the poop on the head. I got one for you too, Rob.
And on the back, it says, when little mole looks out of his hole one morning, plop, something lands on his head. Whodunit.
And there's flies on it.
Well, you made them disgusting.
Anyway, so this is an exciting... Thank you.
Oh, yeah, I want a burger. I think I'm going to have a burger tonight. Oh, burger? But it's like so indulgent to eat burgers.
I know. I'm going to New York on Friday. Be a Buddhist when you get home. Where I really indulge there.
I'll give myself another week. To be a heathen.
Yeah. Okay. Oh, I had to bring this up because he talks about diversity in kids' books. And so I have completed the studio since we last spoke or since we interviewed Seth.
I loved it so much. Yeah. So I, you know, my privilege, the Buddhists wouldn't like this, but my privilege that I had access, we had access to all, we had to the screeners, but I couldn't get in to the screeners beforehand. It's always impossible to get. So I was like, whatever, I'll just watch it when it comes out.
And so the first two episodes came out and I watched it and immediately I was like, we got to figure this out. Yeah. Asap? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to watch all of it. I watched it all one day. Oh, great. I was obsessed with it. It's so good.
It is so good. It is so stressful.
It's so... But... Buddhism. Oh, no. Buddhism's my new The Pit.
The cool kids know.
He was, he was. Well, in the show, he's wearing a hoodie, so you can't see his body, really.
Yeah, he has. He's really become quite masculine. His neck is thicker.
You mean I want it on me?
Yes, yes, I do. I am so attracted to him. Yeah, that's him. That's him on Friends.
Oh, he's still, he's so cute.
Oh, my God, is he hot.
When you see him intubate.
I bet he knows how to intubate.
He's done this so many times.
I think it's different with this kind of thing.
Yeah. But he, I would let.
I would let him perform a surgery on me.
I think he would kind of know how to do it. Okay. I know you're mad about that.
Thank you. That's very Buddhist of you.
Anyways, hot as hell.
Yeah, something happened. Oh, remember I told you I had an earring in recently and it was hard to get out.
And I refuse to accept it.
I love that he loves the pet. Yeah. People love it. It's like really gotten huge.
Yeah, you got to go in. You got to go in.
Okay. Now, why was I bringing up the pit?
Right. But it was, I was going to say something. Oh, yeah. Okay. So the studio. So there's an episode in the studio about diversity, about casting.
It is so funny and so well done.
Oh, my God. I was laughing so hard. So hard. And also, like, because they each individually have the realization that something is potentially racist. And you see them all have the realization at different times. And it is, oh, my God. It is brilliant. It is chef's kiss.
Highly recommend the studio. Okay. Now, how many cows does an average meat eater eat in a lifetime? Okay? Okay. The average American consumes approximately 174 animals per year, including 23 chickens, a third of a pig, a tenth of a cow, three quarters of a turkey, and smaller amounts of other animals like fish and shellfish. This translates to roughly 11 cows over a lifetime.
Yeah, you do think that.
Oh, yeah, maybe that counts. Maybe that counts. Okay, is piles the old word for hemorrhoids? Yes. Swollen inflamed veins in the lower rectum and anus.
Oh, my God. Yeah. Whoa. They can be internal or external.
Are you sure you haven't?
Yeah. But you have had blood.
You've had blood. What'd you have?
Yeah, that's not bad. It's strong.
I've never had piles.
But if I did, Noah Wiley.
If I got waxed and everything.
He's lived such a long life in the ER.
I know. It's getting to him. He has a... I won't tell you.
Okay. All right, that's it.
Oh, yeah, he brought us... We have postcards, but I didn't bring mine.
I have it in my house.
No, she said chicken.
There's an important piece to this, which all that happens, Dex is being very aggressive. And look, I hate that guy. That's annoying that he's behaving that way. But I'm more concerned about his behavior than I am about this stranger.
Yeah. And you know better. Why cause even more chaos? Yeah.
Anywho, so then he causes this ruckus. He sits down. And a few minutes later, the guy turns around. We were at South by Southwest. Dax hosted a panel. This guy turns around. Hey, I saw you last night doing the panel. You were so great. Like, he was so nice to him.
And then also, worse, then we had to Google who he was.
Oh, my God. That is so crazy, though.
He doesn't need to get shoulder checked.
You say, put it back, please.
Well, I think that's everyone. With WebMD, everyone's an expert now on every single thing that's wrong with them. And you just go immediate to panic. I do panic a lot.
I also think of stress as being a good indicator. If I'm feeling the physicality of stress or anxiety, it makes me think what's going on in my life that is causing it to then address that. If you look at it as, oh, it's actually telling me something, then I think that's a smart way of embracing stress and saying like, oh, actually, so I need to look at what's going on.
And we think each thought is equal, that one thought is as relevant as I love you thoughts. And they're not. Some are not true. Thoughts aren't true inherently.
You know, somebody made an Instagram post
Okay, I'll give it a whirl.
Or continuing to reward your neighbor. I feel like I've tried and learned some helpful tips with boundaries. These are all boundaries conversations, like how to implement them with kindness. But I think putting it on me sometimes saying, I'm not going to be my best self if we do this. And then that's going to affect you. It's like, I don't want you to stay. It's I know that I will be overwhelmed.
You know what?
We both don't have that much trouble with that.
And hurt people's feelings.
There's still a way to do it without being like, you can't come because I'll be, I'm mad.
I hate that smell. Yeah, you can still be kind about it. Some people think you're just hurting their feelings and that's mean. There's a middle ground.
I'm back on whole milk.
Yes. Hermium's Instagram, his own Instagram.
I've reverted back, get that calcium.
I used to think it affected my skin. It didn't affect either way, so I went back. And I like it. Love it.
I have not tried that. My therapist, she told me to like name three things you see, name three things you smell, you know, anchor down, name touch things. And that helped. I haven't had one in a really long time.
Well, also knowing what it is, I think that's so helpful to straw because then when you're in a panic attack, you're like, oh, this is what is happening. I practice this. Yeah. For so long, I was like, I have a tumor. I definitely have a brain disorder that's causing all of this. Whenever I went to the doctor, they were like, You don't.
Yeah, they're like, I think you should go to therapy. And when I finally started to believe that and when it would happen, I was like, oh, I'm panicking. I'm having a panic attack. I'm not dying. No one's ever died from a panic attack. Then it went away. Yeah.
Because you're the most emotional, right? Or no?
It does.
I like that.
Yeah. Really, everything is okay because what other option is there? Think good and it'll be good.
Yes, that is what's happening.
That is what is helpful. I know it's like, okay, we're going to come, we're going to record. It will be fine because we'll put that aside for this. And we did. And then it is fine.
At some point you just say like, who cares? I kind of forget all the details of the thing I wanted to bring up anyway.
Well, it's also just an alchemy of everyone's things coming together.
Yeah.
Well, I think it detaches the primal brain of when you're writing it down sort of objectively. You're also half removed.
I like what you said that our bodies are a walking pharmacy. We have tools with us. We don't have to look outward. I mean, we can, but we can look inward too.
Quince is amazing.
I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater for me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
Respiratory issues. I've been masking outside. Uh-huh. So I've been fine. I've been... I mean, I've had headaches, but other than that... Yeah, headaches, same.
It's so COVID-y. Yeah. Yeah, I was just editing our last fact check, which was... Sounds naive, probably. Tuesday, yeah. It was Wednesday morning. And so much has happened since then. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 130,000 people have evacuated. Yeah. There's something like 9,000 structures are decimated.
Oh, they already said it's eight times more.
Well, not dollars. Sorry. They're saying space.
Yeah. There's that also that picture going around of Manhattan. It's like all of Manhattan. Yeah. Is 14,000 acres.
And like.
It's also crazy that I'm like, oh, my God. Yay. It's 3% contained. Yeah. It's Friday and the Eaton Fire is 3% contained, which is the first time I've seen any containment on it. The Eaton Fire, the one that's on the east side of the city, is at 13,956 acres. And Palisades is 20,000. 20,000 acres in the Palisades. We have people staying with us as we had in COVID. Right.
I know. When I was pulling out the masks, I was like, oh, my God. I cannot believe I have to put this back on my face. The feelings are really intense. Wild around. I still don't have power.
It's inconvenient. It's not bad compared to what's going on. Yeah.
Yeah, it's right at my intersection. Right. So, but they've been working through the night, last two nights, trying to get it back.
Yeah.
I know.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's been interesting for me because I'm by myself and normally I'm not. And it has been weird to... You've been invited over, we should say. Yes, I have. I'm by myself and so I have taken on all the roles. Uh-huh.
Yeah, I have to be scared. Like, I can't wait for somebody else to be like, okay, it's time to evacuate. Like, I have to decide. And I think normally I am in that sort of case. Like, I'll let somebody else make that decision. I think they're better at making that decision than me. Uh-huh. But what do I take? At first I was like, I don't even know what you're supposed to take.
Like the last time we talked, I was like, oh, I just I just put my passport in my medicine, which also that was great. I had one day left of seizure medication and then my pharmacy was down because of the power. So I was like, oh, my God, what am I going to do about that? And anyway, but then then I really thought about it and I was like, no, I got to like I took all these photographs I have. Yeah.
There's this little like drawing Delta made. I put that in there. And then that was it. But I really was like, what matters here for real? Like I probably have to go. Like what really matters? And it was those things. And it's just such a, it's so heady to have to think about that. Like, what do you really need? What will you be like? Did you see the thing John Mayer posted?
I thought it was so well articulated.
It says, it said this.
You got to get your passport.
You should take your dad's, like something of your dad's probably.
But I was just like... I mean, it's panicky.
So John Mayer posted... A picture of a picture. And he said, this is the most valuable thing I own. It's a folder of photos of my father spanning his life from being a baby, an educator, a husband and a father. It's the only evidence of his life that will exist over time. These are the, quote, documents you read about people taking from their homes.
When you hear someone say they've lost everything in a fire, this is much of that everything, if not all of it. Those who say they'll be okay still have their folders and their albums. Those who are inconsolable have lost them. Just behind the immeasurable loss of life is the loss of the proof of life. I don't practice prayer, but tonight I will say one for everyone who no longer has these items.
It's not about the art and the collectibles. It's the photos, the letters, the class rings, the eyeglasses, and the things we keep to remind us that those we loved were here. May those who have lost so much find some semblance of hope and support from their family and friends.
Stay safe, look out for yourself and for one another, and trust that humanity and all it entails, though sometimes hard to see, is alive and well. This is truly devastating. And I do think that's right. It's like, oh, all this stuff is just stuff, but it is more than stuff. It's evidence of life.
It's really intense. There are weird things. My friend was just saying that her friend's house is the only one standing. Like how weird.
Well, yeah. I mean, I don't want I don't know how much you want to say, but I think we can. It's it's it's it's real. Yeah. The reason I didn't come over, and I do really appreciate the offer, of course, but I think me and you aren't always the most compatible in these situations. We ignite each other's worst parts.
But other people are different that I think you... I don't know. And same for me with you. There's something specific about us that... We get really worked up when the other person doesn't align.
The Hansons did that. They hosed down their house when they, because there was one popped up in Studio City, like right by them.
Yeah, that happened.
The sunset one that was really close to us.
And then this one in Studio City, like, felt really weird because the winds were pretty much,
But even the Runyon Canyon one felt weird. It was like, what?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, there were looters.
Yeah, but it tends to be the way it goes in these scenarios, so it's important to be prepared for all of it. It's so annoying because in The Holiday, the movie The Holiday, there's this, like, cutesy moment where Jack Black is meeting Kate Winslet and, like... It's like something that kind of gets in her eye and he picks it out of her eye. And it's just like very rom-com-y moment.
He's like Santa Ana's. He's like explaining to her about the Santa Ana's and it's like really cute.
I can't watch that anymore. can't watch it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I saw it. There was a video of him hosing.
Yeah.
It is. Also, it gets problematic when you only surround yourself with like one type of person or people exactly like you, which is easy to do. But it's it is not. I mean, for many reasons, it is not best. Like you need a diverse audience. Group, you know, obviously not like, I mean, yes, racially, socioeconomically, skill-wise, you need a diverse group.
Yeah.
Not even close. I mean, if anything, this was so, it's like, we do live in this city of sparkles and money and status and fame. And it can burn down in a night. Like, it is humbling and beautiful.
Yeah.
It's wild.
That's good.
Me too. It's like a treat.
Which is so nice to have a treat and... I have to resist eating too many nighttimes because they're so delicious. I know. Don't eat too many.
Okay, a couple facts. Okay, so for Jenny, Laird Hamilton's Creamer.
You asked if it was mushroom-based. It is mushroom-based. Clean, plant-based alternative to your dairy and sugar coffee creamers. Made with reishi mushrooms.
That sounds right.
Oh, gross. And they look like it.
And they taste good. I like them.
Weird. Well, it's in this creamer. Maybe it's good.
Okay, Bellevue. Bellevue. It came up again, which is interesting because it came up on Monday's episode with Josh Brolin. He said his aunt was at Bellevue. Yeah. It's a hospital in New York, oldest public hospital.
Oh, really?
Oh, that's interesting. I don't know the first time I heard it, but Seinfeld wasn't my show. Right. I don't remember them saying it on Friends.
Missed opportunity. Jim Carrey, SNL, What is Love is funny.
So check that out on YouTube.
It's funny. It's on YouTube. You can check it out. We're also on YouTube. We are on YouTube. Check us out on YouTube. We're there.
People liked the clip.
People really liked the underwear clip.
Yeah.
It is fun.
The fact check clip of me daydreaming.
Yeah, that was a fun one. Oh, I think this is worth saying. When I was editing this, I sort of had the realization because my friend had hiccups at the time, chronic hiccups, which he sometimes gets and you've also had. And we've talked about it and someone sent you lollipops. What were they called again?
Yeah.
And I was... That's when he had it.
Well, yeah. I mean, the thing is, when you're around someone who's constantly hiccuping and it's wild, like it's really kind of scary and it won't stop. He was trying to do everything to get him to stop. And you'll do anything, you know, you do. This other person was like, you know, you have to like turn upside down and like do the drinking the water.
And he was like, OK, you know, he's like, you're trying everything. It's stupid. Like none of these things really are going to work for us.
You will, but we don't do it for our brains. We could be doing, like, you'll do anything to stop hiccups, but anxiety and depression and these things that are- Rumination. Exactly, rumination. These are the real taxing things. We're just like, I guess I just have this.
Yeah, and you don't have to. You can do these things and it can help.
Body scans are great. Tara Brock. If you have Wondery Plus, if you have Wondery Plus, you heard us do these facts already and- We tried to get through a part that was very hard to get through with me saying Tara Brock a lot of times. It was out of the underwear, out of the pants again. Yeah, it was. But Tara Brock is a great, she has a great podcast and a lot of great meditations.
And she walks you through body scans and it's helpful. I like it.
No, I love him.
Did you get to talk to him?
I forgot he was in Lady Bird. Yes. Oh, my God. I forgot. Oh, yeah.
He's in the new Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yeah.
You know he's in Call Me By Your Name. I haven't seen that. Oh my God.
About his mustache, right?
I know.
Okay. So actually I've been wanting.
OK, I've actually been wanting to talk about this, but obviously the fires and it did not take precedent. But I have a lot of thoughts.
About these types of jokes. Yes.
Roasting in general is one thing. Yeah. And then this is adjacent.
Yeah. Yeah. But like, why do we still do it? Why are we doing this? Why are we roasting? It is so- Well- It's hard to have this conversation because I sound like very Pollyanna or like I'm I'm I'm so I'm so against meanness. Yeah. I don't mean to come off like that, but like I do. It's true. Why be mean as a job?
I know.
Yeah.
That's fine. Sure. Valid. Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like I like her.
You knew that while you were sitting there.
Because I don't, what else could you do? That's nice. No, some people don't. They don't.
He did it.
He played along.
I think it's nice to play along. But I also, like, I thought that when Joe Coy did his thing, no one laughed. played along except Bradley. And I thought that was very big of him.
And I remember thinking like, oh, well, good for him. He's playing along. No one else is doing this. I think it's the only move. But also I kind of get it. But I get it. You're like, why do I have to pretend this is funny? You're making fun of me.
Yeah.
I don't. I don't. I'm not, again, not to sound like I'm above everyone, but I don't understand that.
I cannot relate to being happy that that bad things are happening, even to people who are obviously doing great and doing much better. Why? Why would I want bad things to happen to people?
Do you know what it was? I do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like saying I'm stopping therapy, it feels like arrogant to say that.
I know.
It just seems so unnecessary. I don't know. Before the show started, I was like, very skeptical of what the monologue was going to be. I don't like mean jokes for no reason. I thought, I mean, she is funny. She's really, really funny. She is really funny. And a good writer. Yeah. And there were a couple that I thought were so good. Mm-hmm. The two fingers up for baby girl.
For me, the best one was, oh, celebrities can do anything except get the country to vote a certain way. Like that was so good. Like making fun of the group, the institution is good, but it's the singling out.
And you see them, their eyes are so wide. Like Selena Gomez, like she was just like, I felt, I was like, oh, this is so...
I need to watch that show. I'm like very that at TV. I wonder what you'd think though, coming from inside.
It did not used to be this crazy. But anyway. So I already was going in. Jess loves Nikki. Yeah, yeah. He's been following her for years. He thinks she's great and was really excited to see it. And we know we had a lot of conversations before this. It's triggering for me.
And then she was on a Vogue podcast before she did. She went on and she said she doesn't like it. She can't really take the jokes about her. And I was like, yeah, what the fuck? Fuck. Like, what is this?
Anyway, so then she did it. We all watched it together. And I was kind of like, you know, again, I think she is very talented. Yeah. But overall, that's hard for me to watch minus those more global jokes. And then the next day, someone sent it to me, the Howard thing. And we were already sort of in a thing. Me and you were already sort of in a thing that day.
Someone was like, did you see the joke about Dax? And I was like, what? And then I watched it and I also was like so scared it was going to be so mean.
I didn't know what it could be, but I was just like, this is going to be bad. And then it wasn't. And then I too was like, oh, that's really not a big deal. Also, it's not true. And I said... Oh, my God. I hope he never sees this because he already doesn't ask anyone.
And it's really fucking annoying. It's annoying that you don't like it's to a fault. And I was like, if he sees this, he's never going to ask anyone ever again to come on. And that's hard. That's bad.
I sent it to Jess and I said... Cool. Period. And he was like, and he was like, no, I get it. He was like, I get it. It's funny until it's you. And I was like, exactly. That's the whole thing. And anyway, but that was that, I guess. But I was very, I was very defensive.
Maybe I'm extra sensitive to it because I think there's already too much hatred out there right now or in the last at least like... eight to 12 years.
I don't think it's symptomatic.
I don't think it's symptomatic. I think it, it runs the risk of making it worse. I'm like, we're already, it's already bad. Like don't add, don't add meanness. Like it's, it's not a good time for that. It's, it's a time to add kindness. And I understand that's not like fun for an award show, but, uh, I just, I don't, it sucks out there. Like people are so mean to each other.
And even this with the fires, like people are saying such horrible stuff.
The rich people, they have other homes they can go to.
Fuck you.
That are excited.
I think it's extreme to have these thoughts.
Right, exactly. But also that's, to me, that's slightly different because those are choices. These aren't choices. Like, I think, I mean, that's still bad.
And you'd probably also have your own ideas about the couple's and how you might want to talk to them. I don't do couples therapy, so that on its own is super fascinating.
That's true, but then there's hurricanes, there's this, there's that. But I guess that's my whole point is maybe some people, here would be like, well, hurricanes, like... I guess I don't really care about you, Florida. But it's all bad. It's like, it's all bad. Everyone should have compassion and help. And most people do. I mean, I've gotten so many sweet like check-ins, random check-ins.
And also like, where can I donate? What do you know? Like on the ground here, what's going on? Whatever. It's very kind, mostly. But then there's just people who I'm just shocked by.
Well, I guess that was another thing people were saying, like the Globes joke about God's zero, which that was hilarious. I didn't see that. Like Mario Lopez, it was the count of... who people had thanked.
Yeah, it was like, there's Mario Lopez one, God zero.
And then people were like, see, that happened. And now it's like... God's mad that no one thanked him.
Oh, my God.
It's hard to be made fun of. It's hard to be made fun of. It just is.
This was helpful. I think this is a great one for the top of the year.
Yeah. Yeah. And that's it for Jenny.
It's very generous of you. And I agree.
She's also... She's a Swifty. She's a major Swifty.
She's been to like, she went to like a million of the shows.
She's sober.
Yeah.
I was like.
That's how I, when I saw it, I was like, guess who's not coming on our show ever.
Yeah. Well, we could. Anyway. All right.
Love you.
Get people in a routine. I feel like when we're overwhelmed now, we turn to a lot of outward sources to help us. And this was very encouraging that you can look, you can turn inward.
Well, did it ever get better?
I'm obsessed with CTE.
Yeah, me, me. I bring it up a lot to Dax's chagrin.
I do. People don't know enough about it.
They really don't.
You mean like dead teenagers? Dead teenagers, yes.
She said, this is for Peababy part two, for this space.
That is a real listener, a real armchair. It's so cute.
She probably invented it.
Of course. Oh, wow. That's so perfect for us.
It's so sad to me. He knew, though, something was wrong. He knew something was wrong.
Very early days, P-Baby.
I mean, OJ definitely had it, right?
Why can't we look at the brain while the person's living?
I feel like scan technology has gotten so good and like fMRI, but no, we're not there.
And I did hear once, maybe it's sort of the opposite of what you're saying, that you think if you haven't gone to the NFL that you're in the clear, but you may have started in rec league. You may have started when you were five years old. And so you've still had a long time playing.
I'm sure a lot of people do, but we don't.
Yeah, it's a nice vibe.
No, if my brain could be of any help, why wouldn't I?
I was about to say that might be a group
Yeah, because you can't because of aerodynamics. But I know, I know, I know.
I know. But even more than stunts, you're tumbling and you fall all the time. I fell on my head so many times trying to do a backflip. Just learning, you fall.
You can have access to it.
I mean, what are they going to do with your brain?
Oh, all right.
Okay, so you... Such a weird thing you just said with no context.
Also, if there's just a regulation that that can't happen until you're 14, then everyone is still starting on the same playing field.
Five and change sounds nuts.
It's because of, yeah, AP.
Well, also because probably you don't start those jobs until you're older.
I think for some reason, hearing that it's connected to the brain, that really scares people, obviously. But like you said, it's still a matter of just treating the symptoms, though. And you should, especially if you know it's something happening in your brain, then you can't just think your way out of it.
Yeah. I've been thrilled. Thrilled to have Chris Nowinski on. I've been wanting to have someone on to talk about CTE for a long time.
Interesting.
Well, that's a ding ding ding that comes up in.
That's what we all see.
Yeah, but it is... I think it's more nerve... Yeah, it's nerve pain. And then for a percentage of people, it never goes away. Oh, okay. I know.
I mean, no one on the football team was in my AP class. This is for real.
Yeah, she does.
Pharmacist, yeah. Yeah, she's so nice. Maybe people will remember if they've listened for a long time. Her and I had a beef originally. What was that about? We had a beef when she used to work at Rite Aid. Yes. And I had to pick up a prescription for Kristen and she wouldn't let me get it on her behalf. And there was a hold to do and we were in a beef. Sure. But then we...
Made up, and now she's one of my favorite people. I love her.
Yeah, we squashed the beef.
Sure. So I went to Delta's play. It was at 1 p.m.
It was Alice in Wonderland. She was Tweedledee of Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
And, yeah, well, we've discussed sometimes. We've discussed the plays at your kids' school.
And it's no shade, but it is shade. That's why, like, there's no way to talk. It's not shade.
Well, I did walk out and there was a man talking to his daughter. who obviously had gone to that school, and he was like, I don't remember yours being this bad. So I'm just saying, they're all like this, but yes, there's always technical difficulties.
A lot of memorization issues, which that, yes, that I can... I thought that's what you were referring to. No.
The like... The play itself, the sound, the mic's not being on for this and that, the light being here when it should be there. Like, it's a mess. Yeah. And it is very funny and fun to go and see.
It's part of the appeal.
Yeah, she's breaking the fourth wall a lot.
Well, no, no, that's not. No.
Yes, that's not what happened. She was already in. They were in the dance. She was in a position where she was sort of squatting. She wasn't getting down. She was like down and she was doing her move. And then she just like looked up at us and gave us a little. I don't remember it being like nasty, but Kristen and Lincoln think it was nasty.
Yeah, me and Anna, I think. She was like to both of us, like a little like, hey, I see you.
And I was really happy she did that because I will say it was the first time. As soon as she came out.
She, um, it was a dance thing or a song and Kristen was filming the whole time, you know, she was filming and, and Lincoln was cheering really, really, really, really loudly.
And Delta like looked over at us and just like shook her head too loud. It was just like an overall, like shaking her head. And I was like, Oh, she's mad. And we just started, we just started the plane. She's not happy.
Exactly. Exactly. And so then every time she came out, she was clearly like, she was pretty annoyed by the way like this play was going. And so then later when she did that like winky thing to me and Ana, I was like, oh, maybe it's lifted. Maybe she's happy now. Now she's having fun. Yeah.
But yes, she came out. She had like, they had this big scene and Lincoln was cheering again, like really loud, but also like screaming her name.
Delta said... The song isn't even over yet. And then they did their thing, but then something happened with the mic, the mic. And so she was upset about that. I think she said, this sucks out loud.
I think it was her. But also in, while she was still on stage, there was a snafu with like a mic situation. And then she was like, she got upset about that. And then she did say, she did say like, no, you're supposed to say this. You know, there was a lot of people saying, no, now you say this. Now you say this, you say this. There's a lot of that going on.
It was really funny. It was really, really funny.
Sorry, nerds.
What'd she do in that one?
Also for this play specifically, I guess not enough people signed up. So they opened it up to like the young, young kids. So there were some really small kids involved.
And they were so cute.
Yeah, the wolf was so cute. So cute. I know.
Right. That's okay. So this is where, this is where I have some trouble. Okay. Yeah. And I get it. This is like a school play. No one's really, I guess they are picking, but not really. They're not really picking. They're just like doing it. So the level of commitment is so varied.
And I think my sense of justice sometimes starts flaring up.
During the plays.
Because I think... Look at this kid. This kid is here to perform.
They care so much.
They practiced. They're memorized. They're off book. And, like, then... There are other people who haven't done anything clearly.
And they're ruining the play for these other people who have put in a lot of work. And, you know.
Right. For sure.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, but when I was in fifth grade, we had a play.
And we did have to, like, kind of audition for it in the way that they're doing the same thing. And it was, like, this weird mashup of Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, and Taming of the Shrew, okay?
Um, I didn't want to be an actor at that point. I didn't know anything about that, but I auditioned and I got the part of the haberdasher. Okay.
Someone who sells stuff. Yeah. And she, it was not a good part. And it was, I had one line.
Um, and I was very shy. Like I was so shy at that time, but I like the amount of times I practiced that one line, it had nothing to do with wanting to be an actor. It was just like,
I just knew, like, this requires commitment.
And I nailed it. Here is the hat your worship ordered is the line. I'll never forget it.
I presented the hat. Here is the hat your worship ordered.
I agree. Yeah.
And so, but that also for me, a tiny bit, I was like, Delta, don't do that because you're good. This is cute and good. Like the Tweedledee Tweedledum back and forth is a real like kind of tongue twister. Yeah, and they nailed it. And they nailed it. And it was really good and impressive. And I was like, oh, man, like, I wish we hadn't had that. I mean, it was funny for me. Yeah.
And I liked it because, you know, I just enjoy any time she's doing anything. But I was like, like, it did take away from a very impressive thing that these two little girls were doing together.
Yeah, yeah. She was so cute in her little makeup and her outfit. Ugh.
It was hard. Yes. That's what I picked. I was like, this is fast and tricky because they're getting names wrong.
It is. It's a lot to keep in your brain.
And I was like, that's really good. And I wasn't surprised. I was like, no wonder she... Got that part because she is able to hold a lot in her. No, I don't know if any of these other, I mean, whatever. Maybe they could. But like seeing what was going on with people not being able to memorize like very basic.
Yeah, here's the hat your worship ordered.
No, now I'm nervous.
If you can't get that, you can't do what they did.
And so I was impressed.
I love her, too. so much and it's not it wasn't like oh she shouldn't do that it was like oh she doesn't have to do that right she's just good enough right like she's good enough they were good and like it didn't and oh I guess also for me I was like I was like don't let your don't let your sister get in your head, rattle you. Exactly.
It was like, now you're rattled and now you're doing this and you're in the middle of like a really cute thing that you're doing that you know how to do well. That's impressive. Don't let the emotion interfere here.
Yeah, of course.
Yes, it was so fun. I'm glad I went to that one and I didn't go to the five.
Yeah, it's hilarious.
Let's say your kid's in soccer. I guess Lincoln was in soccer.
She was in soccer, but everyone was kind of Not very good.
Yeah, exactly.
Which we love. But, like, let's say you're watching her. And this is probably just my personality and how I grew up, how my parents parented. Right. If Lincoln—if you're watching and she's, like, good, like, really good.
But— Something's happening that's not allowing her to like...
Realize her goals and her potential. Do you think it's good, bad, or just personal, I guess, to say it to them?
And she's put her heart into it. Right.
Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah.
Everyone has different beliefs about the world. And then I guess you're just imparting it on your kids. So like each kid is going to get a different thing.
Well, it's not unfair. No, no, no. I don't think that's the problem. The problem is if you do care, right? Like if... if she's like, I really want to be good at soccer, and then she isn't practicing, right? Like, I think that is something... To say, right?
Yes. Or if you're on the field and there's like an issue, you have an issue. There's like a thing you're not good at.
I think it is okay to say, hey, let's work on this because this is where we have like trouble. If you want to be good. Yes. If you're there to just run around and who cares?
Your thing is bravery. And I think my thing is like commitment.
Well, you don't think so when you're in Costco and you're trying to get your scene done and somebody's fucking around and it's interfering with you.
Because you care about that, right?
Yeah. It's the same theory. It's the same idea that this person's like, I'm here to have fun in this life.
And you're like, I'm here to do a job.
We're all on both sides of it at different times.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
Tricky stuff.
Oh, my gosh. I guess it's a ding, ding, ding because this is for Chris Nowinski and we were talking about soccer.
Oh, gosh. I hope it's about the bread.
Wildflower Bakery in Freestone. We were coming back from visiting some friends and they said the bread there was great. And it was.
Wow. Shout out.
Wow. Okay, so I said that no one on the football team was in my AP classes, and that's not true. There was at least one, Doug Sellers, shout out. I remembered him after the fact, and there might have been more. I don't know. When was Tough Enough the TV show on and how many seasons of Real World had there been? There are six seasons starting in 2001. And the first episode of Real World was in 92.
Yeah, so it was in its 10th season when Tough Enough started.
Yes, you did.
Wow. Since past.
Okay, how many people currently play high school football in the United States? In the 23-24 school year, over 1 million high school students in the U.S. participated in 11-player football. This number includes 99% boys. For boys, it is the most popular high school sport with over a million players.
Was it culture shocky at Harvard? I mean, I guess you're around Northwestern.
It is hard, though, because you aren't playing, like, the best.
Does that make sense? Yeah. You think you can't, like— Make the shot when it counts.
Oh. Oh, my God.
And here it comes. Right, right.
That's true.
Yeah. Did you hear Skype is done? What? Skype.
I know, but it's just like, I feel so bad for Skype. They really shit the bed.
It was there. It was there. It could have been.
Yeah, I just feel like the story of Skype is a sad one. They were in leading position to take the pandemic, and they didn't. They let this, like, this little, like, rando.
Yeah, I mean, there was so, at the beginning of the pandemic, it was, we were saying, like, we'll Skype you now, we'll Skype you, but we were using Zoom. Right. Like, the verb was Skype.
And it wasn't even being used.
I guess it's an underdog story, too, which we like.
Um, okay. The percentage of high school football footballers who make it to the NFL.
Right. Okay. A tiny fraction of high school football players, roughly 0.023% make it to the NFL. This means that for every thousand high school football players, 23 will, about 23 will eventually play in the NFL. Which I thought was kind of like a lot. Yeah.
Well, yeah, exactly. Senior year.
It definitely includes 9 through 12. Okay. And then 9, 10, 11 obviously aren't drafted.
Yeah. Well, you got to dream big.
Yeah. I think that might be it for Chris. I loved this episode, obviously.
It's a very important topic, and I'm glad we covered it.
Well, no, because this isn't shopping.
Well, that would be Anna Wintour. This is like, what's your car? Like, what do you care is being talked about that's not being talked about?
Yeah, oh my God. What's the timing crossover?
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So Chris, and he was very cool and nice.
Yeah, very cool. All right. All right. Love you.
I hope so. It got a season two. It's like rushing a season two.
Maybe you two should make a pee baby.
They have to. It's MTV.
Yeah, but there's always romance, even when there's money involved.
When you're 21, you're going to make $450,000.
You said it. You're the one that said it out loud.
It was! I'm really upset I missed it.
Yes! That's so cool.
Oh, no. Yes.
I think it's payola.
Do you have a coupon code for them? Do you have a URL?
Well, so food turns the tart on your teeth in about 24 to 72 hours. Okay.
But bacteria in your mouth mixed with saliva and food particles to form a soft, sticky film called plaque. This can happen as soon as 20 minutes after eating.
Because... Do you want... I can give you an answer really quick. Oh, yeah. A plaque can start to become damaging within a few days if left unremoved.
It hardens into tartar within 24 to 72 hours.
Brushing at night removes food particles, acid, and bacteria that have built up throughout the day. Brushing in the morning removes bacteria that may have built up overnight and causes bad breath.
He might be the cutest kid I've ever seen in my life.
He was Mystery Machine.
Oh, yeah. Your whole crew was Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo.
Yeah. So fun. Yeah, Vinny's still the smallest in his preschool.
Okay.
No, duh.
Do we think this was a backlash, though, to many, many, many years of the opposite groups having to say silence is safer? Like marginalized groups have had to say silence is safer since the beginning of time. And so when it became easier or when it became like, oh, you feel like that, too? Oh, you feel like that, too? Let's start speaking up. It was still a retaliation to that.
Yes. New days for us then.
We started in 2018.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
It's such a big group. I think it's too big.
Gen Z and below or just that one? And below.
We're all doing it, but I guess our brains have developed before. That's right.
Yeah.
Well, circling back to ADHD, the attention fragmentation is that. So is it ADHD or is it this? It's just that we're so addicted to these things.
I mean, yes, of course. No, that's horrific. You're void of any moral and humanity feelings. You must be a sociopath. But then... Yes, keep going.
Well, yeah. Then what really happens is then the next day, you are anticipating the first drink.
It's all about then just getting the drink is you're living in that dopamine dump.
It was early.
But then, I guess, although just because it tastes good.
Exactly. It's also depressing to be so bored. If you're living in a deficit and everything's boring and there's nothing exciting, that is depression.
We could maybe hook you up with that guy. Because if you had said they heard it was good for them, that would actually make it much more palatable.
The Tourette's one.
Because to me, that's different. And like, oh, they might need.
Exactly. Oh, I see. So it's actually perfect that they just want to try the taste of it.
I mean, it's literally the first thing our parents told us, don't talk to strangers. And now these kids are just out there literally talking to strangers.
De-stigmatization.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a similar thing. So going back to the way, way beginning when we're talking about race relations over time, it definitely has progressed. Mental health awareness has progressed a ton over time, but it's still like if you're in it, you can tell the slight difference, right? What do you mean? If you use the race, for me, I was born in 87.
It was definitely better than when my mom arrived, but I had to blend in and I wasn't really like, oh, I need to be talking about being Indian.
Silence was better, really. And I'm young-ish. So you can look at it overall and say it's gotten better. But there are nuances when you're in it. And same with mental health. It overall has progressed. But now with the Internet, it's like we can all talk about it.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
I agree with that, yeah.
And I agree.
Well, because we had first heard him on Sam Harris's podcast.
And I agree with that. I think what some people who are listening or watching might be like, why aren't you saying this part? It's just the truth. And this is fine. But normally it is one type of person who is saying that loudly. And it is often a white, tall, smart, very articulate, educated person.
But I agree. We have made great progress. But I think it's easier if you're not one of those people to say, and it's not as easy as saying that.
I don't want to say it still sucks.
Can they text? Yeah.
But part of it is liability. I used to babysit. I was so nervous for these kids. But for me, I got fired from a job, not them, but before, because I wouldn't let the kid go down the banister.
Correct.
So you love them.
But also... No, I am not prepared to take this kid to the hospital and face a repercussion. I'm a babysitter, you know? So part of it is there's so much liability in camps and stuff and they don't want to get sued. And these are realities too.
If my mom were here, she would make sure that this got said because I was home and we were watching that documentary about the girl who got kidnapped. And the parents were at the dinner just close by, but the daughter was in the hotel room.
I don't remember this.
It was like a big it was in Europe. They left the kids in the hotel room. They went to dinner at the resort. And then she got kidnapped or she's gone and they never found her. And so I was watching this with my mom and she was like, why'd they do that? Why'd they go to the restaurant? I went out and played by myself all the time. I think she forgot. It's been a long time.
But she was like, the risk isn't worth it. And that's what a lot of people would say.
Yeah, but my mom is acting out of gut.
I think it's less amoral to do that than eat the dog because of the relationship.
Because they're not with other people. They're not doing anything.
You're afraid of extremes in general.
Driving.
Uh-huh.
When the TikTok ban was happening.
I know, I was like, oh my God, good.
Yes.
Yeah, I was like, go ahead, take them all. Take Instagram, take them.
The book is huge. I mean, it's on every list I see. It was on Bill's list.
Hi.
No, so I have a Word. I keep them in Word.
But it's not there.
Yeah.
Well, they have Word for Mac. I don't know because I didn't have to download it for this newer laptop.
Oh, you did. Okay, got it.
Cool.
It's all the same.
I don't like it. It's great. Okay. But I prefer to have something I don't have to log into if I lose a password. This has happened multiple times.
Where I get locked out, then I can't access the docs or any of these things.
I know.
Yeah, so tell, what's the deal?
Nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is scary.
Yeah.
Nice.
So do you only get the tip?
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, they might have to take breaks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Well, even when I order here, I tell them leave it at the gate.
I am worried, but not worried enough to- To deal with meeting the person? Yeah. That's fun. It is. That's very fun. Cool. Well, I have good news. I have an update. My cholesterol is down. What?
I don't know. We're going to talk about it, but Dr. Richard Isaacson, our friend who we- Our savior, our Lord and savior. Yes. We did another round of blood draw.
So much blood.
I didn't count, but it was a lot.
Yeah. A lot of blood. He just texted me. He said, yay. Yeah. And I was like, oh, what's going on? And he just said, yay again. And I said, oh. Is it working? And he said, yeah. Because you've gone on a— I'm on the statin.
Yes, I'm on the statin, and I'm on half of the dose I was prescribed, and I wanted to see if that was going to be enough.
And it seems like it is.
Oh, good.
Oh, I brought my... Speaking of that, I brought my smell test.
Yeah. Do you want to do some or not?
What do you mean?
Well, that's why it's fun to do it this way.
Why don't we do a couple cards?
So part of our study is we have to complete the smell test. Okay.
Oh, that's a good question.
Yep.
And so we're gonna scratch our thing.
Oh, this one's harder than the last one.
I have one locked, I think.
What did you pick?
Oh, fuck. I picked lilac.
Yes. You smell peanuts? It smells floral.
You don't smell, oh, I have an idea. Let me smell yours.
Yeah, it's the same smell.
Well, now you've heard our things.
I did for a second think that. That would have been my second, because of oregano.
Yeah.
But we don't know.
Okay. I'm going to lock nine in. Hold on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was hasty.
Okay, let's do one more.
It hurts so bad.
Menthol. Yes, D. Menthol.
Don't do that. But yeah. Cherry for the listener.
Okay. So what's interesting already, I know me and you are doing this much differently. I don't look at them.
I do my thing. I smell first before I see the options.
Really?
You think this is like revealing of our personalities?
Yeah, but you can also be misled that way. Like you were with wintergreen.
Well, you read them. That's why I just learned the hard.
But I think I have it. I have it in my hand.
Stop being so passionate.
I hate you, Dr. Isaacson. Oh, my God.
You're such a baby test taker.
Yeah. I agree that this one isn't like that obvious. Okay.
Motor oil. Oh.
The options were grass, pizza, motor oil, and pineapple. And for the listener, you're probably thinking, how the fuck is it not clear?
Yeah.
I am questioning— Okay, Rob, do you want to come smell this one?
Don't—stop doing that. He knows.
I guess—yeah, maybe you— Smell mine and see if you agree with me.
Yeah, it is, but that's not an option. No, grass.
I take a lot of pride in how strong my nose is.
Oh, that part's nice.
Yeah.
Sorry, I just, it's hard for me to stop halfway and test.
Oh, what'd you do?
Ooh, before school.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
No one's encouraging, okay, but this is, it could equally be not genetic. As you just said, you're doing all those things. Well, I'm modeling it.
In fact, for me, that's more of an indication that all that's nurture.
Of course.
Yeah, it can.
Uh-huh.
That's cool.
Oh, cute.
Cute. Yeah, it was fun. What did the sticker look like?
White with a blue?
Gold.
No, a narc...
Yeah. That wouldn't be undercover.
That's over cover.
There'll be an over cover cop.
Well, that's cute. That's a fun way to kick off the weekend.
A lot of my friends' parents did that.
Yeah, it was fun.
I know.
It's a really sweet thing to do. I brought this up in what will be an upcoming episode, but I watched Shane Gillis' special last night.
We've had a couple people on who are in comics.
Arena Comics. And I do think...
At least two of them. At least Shane and one of them into one category. And then I remember when his special came out. Yeah. Everyone was watching it and loving it, but also like, eh, it's like edgy. It's risky. Yeah, very edgy. And a few people had told me that like I shouldn't watch it. I wouldn't like it. So I didn't.
And then... Because we've been in this sort of world for a week or so with these comics. And, you know, it's brought up a lot of questions and things. And me and you have gotten into a couple things about it. And I was editing that.
After I was like, hmm, I want to watch Shane and see what I think about that.
And I thought it was so great. Oh, it's fucking wonderful. And so funny and good. And like... Then I was like, huh, it's – I, of course, on face value or like – maybe not face value, but like on the surface.
First of all, understand how they're lumped together. And secondly, understand why, to me, why it would be like, maybe that's not for you. To me.
Yes, but I had seen his monologue already. So, well, and then he explains it immediately that he has a lot of family who has Down syndrome. And he also, like, has started a business. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of reasons why I was not offended by that.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's probably true for a lot of people. It's why I think Chappelle also gets a lot of passes for a lot of things he says. He's lived a life.
I know, but I don't think it's the same, personally. Like, I think you are allowed to make jokes about your family, like, because something connected to your family or you. Uh-huh. But if you, I mean, you wouldn't because you know me, but if you went and, like, felt like you could go to an Indian accent because of your proximity to me, I would say probably not.
Yeah, of course.
Uh-huh.
Well, Pari's Indian. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you had said that to a white neighbor, I wouldn't have liked it.
Exactly. And this, what you're saying right now, is my entire point. There is a lot of nuance in what is offensive and what is not.
Yeah.
Yes.
Well, sure, there's a continuum, but there is also a, there's a reality in comedy math about who is getting made fun of.
And sometimes, yes, on the surface, if someone's doing an accent, it's like, why are they doing the accent? Is it for, like when you were telling me the story about Pari.
You were starting to do it in his accent because you were being him.
That is different than you just going into a room and doing a generic Indian accent for no reason just to get a laugh. Right, right, right. There is a difference.
And so, yeah, I guess I was really sitting with that of— There's so much... I think people think everyone's just offended by everything. And some people are. I'm not. Yeah. I don't know. But it's specific for me.
Yeah. If people enjoy it and are in on it.
Sure. I'm not telling anyone they can't like something or whatever. I'm just telling you what I think is smart comedy and what isn't, if I'm being honest. I think people like Chappelle and I think Shane did this in his special episode. They are doing kind of wild, saying wild things.
Being very provocative.
But they're not. If you really listen to what they're saying, they are making fun of the hegemonic group and all of these things. Or if you're making fun of fucking Al Qaeda, most people aren't going to be upset about that. I mean, you might be like, oh, my God, he's saying provocative things. He's saying 9-11. He's saying I'm rooting for them. He's saying this.
But when you really start, you're like, oh, yeah, he is making fun of terrorists. Most people don't think they need to be, you know— You need to stick up for them.
They're not a marginalized group.
Exactly. They're not a group that people feel like they need to, like, get behind.
Yeah. Those really, really smart comedians are Trojan horsing a positive message into the world under this kind of provocative nature. And I think that is brilliant.
Yeah.
Yeah. He seems cool. I think...
I know, the Asian slurs.
Yeah, if you do like five minutes of a look into it and you, you know, he apologized for that too. And he said, look, there's so much of me out there. There's going to be big misses. That was a big miss. Yeah. So that was a fun little deep dive I did.
Yeah, it was good.
I guess this is sort of in keeping because this is for Jonathan Haidt.
And I saw his book again pop up on something. It's like still number two. Yeah. It is a success. Okay, but the Cannibal Cookbook. Okay. That's Nico Clow. Nico Clow. C-L-A-U-X. I feel guilty because I know I would have pronounced it Clowx, but you already told me it was Clow.
He murdered and robbed and according to him.
He murdered and robbed and ate people.
Yeah, but like not for very long. 12 years?
Which feels like a little bit.
For a murder.
That is true.
You're right.
I just really liked this phrase that I had never heard about two types of people. There are two types of people. Those who say there are two types of people and those who don't. I really liked that.
Yeah.
Okay.
About a friend.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
I wouldn't feel moved, but I feel fine.
It doesn't bother me.
Yeah, I mean, I think I, you know, growing up and being more and more senior parents as real people and being a little critical of them, I guess I would more be like they were not able to go through a grief like that or they didn't think they were going to be able to. Yeah. So they did this.
Yeah. weirdly, that doesn't have anything to do with me, Monica, now. Like, I wouldn't think, oh, no, I wasn't real. I'm the second one. Yeah, I wouldn't think any of that.
Right.
I guess I would say morally it's okay.
But, yeah, and again, the stakes couldn't be higher, so it's a good question.
Because I feel like we all experience pain, right? And then sometimes good things come out of it.
But, like, losing a kid, what could possibly come out of that that's positive? So, I mean, yeah.
Yeah.
Right. But I guess then is it like then you really can't feel anything again? Like, I wonder how it will impact you in your life as the person, the parent.
Obviously.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But also- Again, like, I don't think any parent could really, if they're thinking about their own kid, could see it this way. But you and I have talked about this when we, we've sometimes talked about other people who've gone through horrible, horrible tragedies of having, like, a child die of a disease or something.
Right. But you've also said, like, your best self... would just be so grateful to have had that time. That's what I would... That's your highest self.
Yeah.
Well, then is it dishonoring... her by replacing her yeah you're right like this new her even though she's cloned yeah is not her she's well right she's gonna eat different foods at different times and be at different spots on the planet we also just have there's there's just so much more to us than our dna and our our flesh like we have an essence we have a thing and
That isn't, you can't replicate that.
Yeah. Well, you would do that again.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is the new one the age of, would it come as a baby?
Okay, so then you would do all the same things. Yeah. But then that to me is, if it comes as a baby.
That's the thing.
I think maybe if it's a baby, like, it's maybe dishonoring the original kid.
Right.
Yeah, of course. But then I guess it sort of, it's like, then why not have another baby that's not her? But is just a new person.
I mean, that's... But it's not... I guess that's what it really... I know, yeah. It's the guy with the bowl that Gordon... It's not her.
Unless you believe... Like, I don't believe that. I don't think a clone, even though it's technically a clone... It is her. It's technically her.
Exactly.
It's her. I think there are just too many factors... Although that is the same as an identical twin. There just are factors... Yeah. In life that will make that person different. We live in a different house.
Yeah. Maybe there was something like that person had a complete... They didn't, in my opinion, because I don't really... You know, that's hard for me to, like, wrap my head around. But there was a beginning and an end to that. Yeah, yeah. And then to, like, kind of fuck with that feels... Maybe I'm wrong to that original person. I don't know. But again— But that person's dead.
Somebody else get—it's a new Dax.
They all—well, yeah, but don't you—obvious.
Now, the study on how much time kids are spending on the phone in schools is, yeah, one and a half hours on average a school day with 25% of students logging on for more than two hours.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think it's not about disruptive behavior. It's about social isolation.
Yeah.
No, I don't either. I don't even know if that, maybe for that study, that's the point. But I think Jonathan Haidt would say- It's not like the problem is just being isolated. Passing notes and stuff is rite of passage. It's part of school. It's part of growing up.
Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. It really is.
I know. Did you pass in the hallway, too? Oh, did girls?
We used to also pass. We had, like, slam books.
Yeah, we didn't call them that.
But, like, you'd have, like, one... You'd have one with like these two girls and you'd all get together and you'd make the composition book and you like cut out all these things from magazines and you tape it on and you tape the whole book. So the whole book is covered in like a particular design that you made.
That's not the right phrase. No, it's like I would cut out this like – Picture of Britney Spears. And then they'd cut out a thing that says way cool. But like that's just the front. That's just the cover. Then throughout the day, you take turns with the book. So you'll write in it and then you'll pass to your friend. Then they'll write in it. Then they pass to the other.
The thing is you'd end up having like a lot of books.
It was rotated.
I have heard of that. Slam books.
Slam book, I think, is what's maybe used in Mean Girls. We didn't call it that, but that.
Okay.
Okay.
You don't have to. You don't have to. We don't have to do any of this. I know. But we might as well do it if we've agreed to do it.
It's not... It's frustrating.
It's so weird. Because I think if you were like, this thing is giving me so much anxiety. It's causing me stress that I can't handle. I don't want to do it.
Then I would say, don't do it. If that's going to stress you out, if that's going to like cause you pain, then absolutely don't do it. It's when you, it's like, I don't want to do that. I'm not doing it. That is a hard mentality for me, for anyone in my life.
So, I guess— But for me— I don't want to say I'm disappointed, but that might be the right, actually, word for it.
I mean, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I guess it's because I feel like, well, we all— We all decided to do this.
I think that's a nice way of looking at it. And maybe that is what's happening. I think it's more, I think it's more, why are we doing any of this then? Like, if we're only going to half do.
Sure. If you're going to pick and choose, maybe it's indicative of a broader fear I have.
With you.
Because, I mean, if Rob says I don't want to do the smell test, I'm not going to have this feeling. It's toward you.
And I think it's because I feel fearful.
No, no.
But that's an interesting thought. No. I feel fearful, I guess, that you could abandon anything you've committed to. What if tomorrow you decide you don't want to do this anymore? It's that, I think, really. I mean, I don't think that. Like, consciously, I don't think that. I don't think you're going to do that. I think you have your commitments and you stick to them.
But I think that's what's happening. I'm just being honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And why? Yeah. That's only for me to fix or change my mentality on. It's not for you to do anything about. But I do think that's probably a factor.
Oh, one thing before we end Jonathan, he has some detractors.
Yeah.
Yeah, and then that was in Nature magazine.
Candice Odgers.
Yeah.
Yeah. Feel free to look into some of that other stuff. It's a good article.
Yeah.
All right, that's it for Jonathan Haidt. Glad we got to have him on. Me too. Promote his big fancy book.
Yeah, I understand.
That makes sense to me.
Yeah, that's so interesting that you bring that up. I think— I think that's common now where people just have become masters at debate.
It's a huge skill.
It doesn't mean they're right. And it doesn't even mean they've thought things out well. They're just very good at communicating and pivoting and doing that skill well.
Yeah.
It's all about winning the debate as opposed to actually understanding one another.
But I do think some people, especially in the academic world, really can suffer from this.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
And it's interesting when we get in these topics that are very emotional. Not we. Yeah. Sometimes we. But also we. But in general, when it's an emotional topic, but one of the people is often like very good at debating or an academic or something.
Exactly. But they're they're only using logic. And it's really hard in a debate to combat logic like you can't. But then everyone leaves. And like the person with the emotional argument is still correct. Like their feelings are still there.
They're still probably, you know. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Of course.
Yeah.
Yeah. And we've talked about this, but it is. Worth repeating. Emotions are as important as logic. They're more. They're more important.
Exactly. Look at our political landscape. It's emotion driven.
To act like that isn't a relevant part or to dismiss it in a debate or like just stomp on it with logic is so unhelpful because you're removing an entire real legitimate piece. Yeah.
That's very true, yeah.
That would be so boring.
All right.
Love you.
But do you think it's the majority of the party or is it still fringe?
Yeah, it's fun.
Yeah, and The Anxious Generation is on, like, everybody's book list. It's a very hot topic. So it was cool that he got to come in and tell us about it.
Oh, members.
I only think about 270 when I think about that.
I really want to go. And they have great skincare.
But are you being self-deprecating or are you being honest? Like, I can't tell.
Oh, that's made its way to America. Now they have salmon sperm.
Sign me up. You get it injected, then you look 14.
You really could. It's dangerous.
And in politics, exact same thing. When a new person comes in, the old stuff all has to go.
At the New York Times or at Disney?
Yeah, it's an enormous corporation.
Possible alternate turn.
Yeah, I like that.
Oh, that's the second to last one?
It's extremely psychological, right?
Then how can you be an amateur?
Ooh, is it our first? That's a big swing.
What's his religion? Do we know? He was German. He's a Christian of some sort.
The important stuff. The starter job, the presidency.
Chill out for a week. For a week. If anything. Yeah, just take a breather. My God. That's part of the problem because it's those people. If they were quiet, maybe other people wouldn't be like, oh, I'm happy their houses are burning down. But Trump is literally calling him Gavin Newsom right now. Yeah. Are you kidding me? You're our president.
Also, just in case people don't know.
Yeah, Liberty. It's here.
We thought it was my parents' basement, and it is disgusting now. But I do think it was $72,000 or something like that. I still think that.
These are all so counter. I want to be so altruistic and I want to be the president and a trillionaire. A little suspicious, right? This is wild.
It's what you wrote down. I want to be president when you were 11 years old.
It's so out of touch. You can be very smart until you hit a certain level of ego and power, and then you become dumb again.
And happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thanks for joining us for your birthday.
Oh, I didn't notice that. My glass bottle of BC. Is it from Bill?
But was it from Bill?
Oh, cute.
Yeah. Is that diet or regs? Diet. This is an amazing ding, ding, ding. Oh. But for our next. A different guest.
I don't know, because I listened to a few podcasts all the way through. Oh, God. Yeah. And then I just let it turn off. And then I don't know when, how long after that.
I listened to Nobody's Listening Right, Elizabeth and Andy, my favorite podcast. And then they- That's your blankie. Uh-huh. That's my- Your binky.
What's lovey? That's my lovey.
I never had one of those.
Yeah. And then I wonder, I mean, I had stuffed animals.
But I never had one that was like, you have to take it to the airport and on vacation and all these things that all the kids have.
Do you still have any of them?
Yeah. Yeah. I know. But.
She might have thrown those away. I think this is a ding, ding, ding for real.
Long time coming.
Liberti does look a little cleaner than normal. I agree.
He does look a little cleaner than usual. For the listener, I'm holding Liberti, my beanie baby, who's covered in poo-poo.
He's sort of my lovey. Uh, uh, uh.
He's my investment lovey.
What is on him?
No. It is. Like from a rat or something?
I did not.
So my parents aren't, I guess, as ruthless as your mom, but they are pretty bad. Like they just put everything in some big bags.
No, because my brother moved out. I mean, moved in. So then everything got thrown into these bags. Catalogs.
And then thrown in the basement. But it was literally like everything. Just like random, like a sticky note is it. They just threw it all in a bag. So this Leberti obviously got thrown face down.
Yeah, I don't know.
But he's still great.
I know, I don't.
Be careful, okay? I will.
He is expensive.
No, it is. Stop it. I don't smell anything.
Listen, I'm not, you're not gonna like what I'm about to say, but it's the truth. This is on eBay right now for $700. No. Yes.
Those ones look clean, but that means they're not as unique as mine.
This is the only poopy Liberty there is.
Do you think I should auction this off?
Maybe they want it. Why do you get to make the decision for people that... I don't.
Yeah, because you said you'll feel terrible, but you shouldn't feel terrible if they want it.
Do you think people should smoke if they want?
If they want.
He's my friend.
I feel totally ethical auctioning this off as even though it's a bit dirty. But what I will be honest about, and this is an important piece, it is missing its tag.
It's missing the heart thing that has its name. But his name is still on his butt. It says it on the tag where he pooped.
I don't have any lovies. And, well, again.
But this is like... You thought at one point it was worth $20,000. It was. He comes up in this episode.
Which is why that's a ding, ding, ding.
Well, he was upstairs. That's why. He didn't see him.
Yeah, if you go to eBay, you're going to get a nice guy. You're going to get an angel liberty. But this is the only devil liberty in the whole world.
Let's hear it.
I told everyone not to get too excited.
Little Jimmy Marsden.
Is it a novel?
Ding, ding, ding.
Remember we had a guest on once whose brother had that surgery and he passed away from it.
Horrible.
Sure. Yeah.
Is it out?
Okay, great.
I'll read it.
Yeah. Well, the best novels do that. Yeah. Yeah. You probably just haven't read any good ones.
I really like reading novels. Yeah. I mean. But you're a fantasy girl.
I am. Both of those things. I am.
You have plenty of fantasies. Okay. You're a fantasy girl, too.
And a cookie boy. I'm a reality girl, too.
Yeah, don't put me in a cage.
Speaking of fantasy, we have an upcoming guest who we discuss fantasy with a bit. And I thought that was really interesting.
If you don't say it, I'm going to have to say it on the fact check.
It's a great survival mechanism.
Until you don't need it anymore to survive.
Every now and then.
Yeah, it is.
I know. That's right.
I agree. I agree. I agree. I love it.
Thank you. I'm trying very hard.
No, to be clear, it is raining. It's been raining for the past couple days. I have seasonal affective disorder, SAD, self-diagnosed. And I am about to start my period. There's lots going on.
That generally speaking, I can predict what kind of mood I will be in.
Yes, there's many things at play. I'm starting to feel like really agitated. Yeah. It's that.
Not the thing or the person or whatever. Yeah. And so that's helpful to know.
Oh, I bet.
It is. I guess that's CBT. Also, I feel like you've been in a low mood.
Yeah. And that is clear to me.
Right? And we have talked about it on here.
But the thing you don't always agree with, but that I really do think is true, is that you can only have 100% of an emotion in the room.
Or between two people or whatever. Yeah. And I feel that. Like, when you are not... at your happiest yeah oh it's not my turn uh-huh to also be in that headspace like it's my turn to be the other type of person in this in this setting yeah in this duo so I don't know I find that sort of liberating. It's like, okay, this isn't the time for me to indulge my thing.
It's not that set in stone. I am able to overcome it if I need to. And the rain makes me gloomy, but I haven't really been that gloomy yet.
That's nice.
I'm lucky.
That's nice.
The rain will do that.
I wonder if aversion to rain slash seasonal affective disorder slash that is, it's like misophonia. Like it could, it's a gene.
Because you're talking about the mist. Yeah. And I want, I want.
I understand that.
I know, but I... Don't care. I don't like it.
I really do.
But I want to like it. Maybe that'll be my New Year's resolution and... This year, the new year started again in February.
Oh, I see. Oh, they're working backwards. I got it.
Uh-oh. He is Noro?
Dealing with that? Dealing with his... Can he wear a diaper?
He's almost as small as Liberti.
Were you wearing your underwear? Yeah. Oh, no. Did it get in?
Oh, okay. But you were covered.
And then Chris might have had to clean up your duty too.
There was just a tiny bit.
Oh, half and half with gluten.
You tonka'd. Well, no, tonka. Please use the correct.
Oh, you don't want to. This doesn't count because it's too tiny.
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay. Okay. I'm not going to talk about it, but we had similar situations. Sort of.
Yeah. Sort of. Not really, but interesting. Wait, in your new outfit? Yeah, but I didn't have any poop.
You always are. Women can't get away with that kind of thing. Yes, they can. No, they can't. I didn't poop. I didn't. Are you sure? I'm sure. But I just had a situation that's a little tangential to yours with no poop.
No, there was no poop.
I just, something interesting and novel.
In that space.
Okay. Facts. This is for Nate Silver.
There's a...
There's only been, I've only Tonka'd once.
And then one of those other situations. This isn't worth, this would not even make like a chapter. Okay, great. It's like at best two lines.
Yeah. It's like under the title, the little like quote.
Okay. Speaking of gross things.
Salmon, semen, skincare.
Okay. This is all the rage. And it's because salmon sperm shares a lot of DNA with us.
And so we used to have vampire facials. I mean, they still do them, but that's where they would like take your blood out and then... Spin it? Yeah.
Yeah, they spin it and zhuzh it and then they put it back in.
I think they're kind of trying to make it. Look, allegedly, I never did it. And then I am not going to try it.
But it was a thing.
I'm interested in that. Yeah. Yeah. Salmon ejaculate is the actual clinical term.
No, it's not FDA approved.
Yet. It's not FDA approved yet. But if you go to South Korea, you can get it.
I do want to go to South Korea.
Yes. There's a podcast I love called Eyewitness Beauty. And Nick Axelrod, one of the hosts, he goes and he once got something called like small face surgery.
I think it made his face small.
Yeah. Wow. So they do all kinds of things.
Now, it's called Rejuran. Rejuran. It's a long chain polynucleotide DNA of salmon milk in micro droplets under the skin of the face and neck. One of the main ingredients is hyaluronic acid. Oh, we have a friend who's done this, by the way.
Right. Just like the vampire facial where it's like. Oh, they put it in.
She went to South Korea and she did this.
I haven't seen her in a while. I might see her at the Super Bowl. Okay. But she said she's gotten a lot of compliments and that she looks visibly different. Oh, wow. I know. Wow. And it's supposed to improve elasticity, reduction of fine lines and wrinkles, increase skin hydration, and improve healing capabilities of the skin from damage.
No, no, because scars. It helps with skin clarity. Okay. So once it gets FDA approved.
I'm not going to get it.
No. This is confusing. I thought for sure you were going to get it. I'm kidding. I'm not kidding that this is a thing and people do find or people like it.
Well, that's the thing. We've got to get the right type.
He talked about gay men of his cohort being quite successful— And it's true, and there is a lot of current research on this group right now. Adult gay men tend to have a higher rate of educational attainment compared to straight men, with a significantly larger percentage earning college degrees and advanced degrees like a PhD, MD, or JD.
This is often attributed to factors like a strong drive to excel academically in the face of potential societal challenge.
I think that's true.
That could be part of it.
We need to get Charles, bell curve Charles on that, on that one.
Bacronym. This is a huge development for us. I've now used the term like three times.
It's an acronym deliberately formed from a phrase whose initial letters spell out a particular word or words either to create a memorable name or as a fanciful explanation of a word's origin. That's very confusing.
I don't understand that definition, but I understood his, which is basically like you work backwards. You have the acronym.
Yes. SWATI. SWATI. Then you find the letters that go into it. Right, okay. I mean, I'm sorry, the words that match those letters, as opposed to you create the phrase or the tenets and then you take it back.
I hope I'm right about that.
Fantasy Baseball, it dates... back to 1980. It was originally known as the rotisserie baseball. Magazine editor Dan Okrent and some friends created the game at a restaurant in Manhattan. Now, the price of Bitcoin today.
$96,428.22. It's a drop in. It's dropping. Don't come at me.
Don't come after me.
Oh my God, you are reading so much.
Beekman Friedman.
You're being so prolific with your books. I'm sorry to say I still haven't even finished Intermezzo.
Oh, no. Okay, well, we already went too long. So next week, we'll do the riddle.
We'll do the riddle from Intermezzo, but also I haven't even finished it, and I was supposed to read it at Christmas. Oh, no. And now it's February, but really January.
So it's fine. That's it.
Me too. What an interesting guy and an interesting life.
I think we have an idea that gambling is like dirty and bad.
And then statistics is smart and highfalutin.
Exactly. And it's all the same thing.
Is Pocota Moneyball?
God, that's so cool.
And that's a fun play on words.
Silver bulletin.
Are you coding yourself or you have... In 2000.
That's still pretty good.
You got to be on your toes.
I feel like I'm going through therapy very soon. Yeah, well, that is the goal. We do want people to feel very relaxed. Too comfortable, really.
Right. Yeah, did you feel like you had to, after that, sort of like keep your head down? Maybe it's just my own personality.
That's your teacher?
What happened?
You have such a full circle. Yeah, yeah.
Have we started?
We call it ABR, always be recording. Always be recording. Okay, okay.
Curls.
How do you even start something like that? Do you literally just look around the room and you're like, okay. Here we go.
And do you have to pay? Because if you pay, you'll probably get a certain group more than you'll get another group. Right.
The climate too would be the other more recent thing. There's a Paris Accord and there is things that globally people have come together.
I mean, I think that's part of it. It's just an acknowledgement globally that we're all going to have to do something. And especially the superpowers do need to take more on than others. But it's just getting on the same page that I think we've done okay at. And at least there's some consensus there. So there could be some consensus here potentially.
It's hopeful.
Oh man, so jealous.
Right. Yeah, it's hard to listen to your own stuff. Well, it's not her. I know, but your own stuff. Yeah. You spent so much time writing it. Right.
You have a lot of other stuff. Don't waste your time.
Hi.
We did.
I did. We shot a commercial.
Yeah. I had a really fun full circle moment.
Because I got out of the car. You know, I haven't acted in a while.
Yeah. I got out of the car and I started recognizing some of the people on set. And I realized I had worked with a lot of that crew on some previous commercials in my day. Sure.
It felt so nice and cool. Like, you know, I had done these commercials as just this actor auditioning and doing this thing. And now we're doing a commercial.
And we're doing it together. Yeah. not for this podcast, but- But because of this podcast. Yeah. And it was something really cool about it.
I liked it. And it, I think it's because my ring is fixed.
Okay, great.
I see. Yeah, that's hard.
Yeah, he's doing great.
Yay.
Love to hear that.
Do you want to tell people what Toto texted you? It was so funny.
Oh, so playful.
God.
Yeah, it was a great episode. And so, yeah, just so cool. We get to talk to anyone we want to talk to. Not anyone. I still have a list. We still got Tay.
No, we already had Machine Gun Kelly.
Become better than everyone.
Okay.
Yeah, me too. But he did say, because Toto was like, when did he see me dance?
He was just... He's being funny. He was doing a yes and.
Yeah. I think the- Who wouldn't believe it?
I think he is a great dancer.
Sure.
Oh, sure.
So cute.
How many more Christmas cartoons are there?
Oh, yeah.
Of course. I think he is given his due props.
You know, there's a Seuss land.
Yeah, at one of the parks. I think.
You should go. You should pay your respects.
No, but I like it.
Yeah.
But it kind of sounds like Sisyphusian, which is my favorite word.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a lovely way to look at it.
It's actually Sisyphean.
Yeah.
Me too. And I maintain it. Yeah. Okay. So you're in the Christmas spirit.
Ooh. Ooh, that sounds lovely.
Yeah.
Wow. Ding, ding, ding.
Nice. You used a little bit of my...
There were good gifts on there.
Yeah, well, I pick great items.
You do.
Thank you.
Yes. That's the goal.
There's fun stuff abound.
So, and let's just, so your tree has colored lights, right?
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
But I just want to talk about lights.
Okay.
I wonder how Hermium, does he have a delivery service? How does he get his tree?
You said cousin.
Oh, okay. So it's all on the up and up.
Okay. Getting a little taken advantage of, but you seem fine with it. Okay, great.
Now remember, I'm not your mom.
Yes, the lights, because Chris and I assume on her nice tree has white lights. Yep.
Yeah. And this is, you know, this is a big thing. I don't know if it's Rob. Yeah. What color lights do you have?
That's white.
He's trying to walk in the middle and be nice, but really he has white lights and he likes them.
Yeah, I know what you mean. There's like a warm and a cool.
Yeah, yes, because Aaron grew up exactly like you. So it's not fit. You just assume it's men because you and Aaron believe it.
So, yes, Rob did not grow up with you and like you.
So, I don't think it's gender, but I do think some people love— The nostalgic colored lights and then other people who care about aesthetics love the white light.
Yeah, which is.
Is that what you're going to say? No, I wasn't going to say that. Your life does not match that mentality anymore.
Yeah, that's fine. Okay, for him. Yeah. Okay, but for me— Yeah, you aren't—you're of the highest class in this country.
Okay, okay. And you also hobnob with the highest class.
And where's your tree?
Because your second tree is in your second living room. Okay?
You know, I got to keep you. I got to just remind you.
Yeah, okay.
It's just, to me, the class warfare thing, I would hope you now see.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, so I have white lights, obviously.
Yeah, everyone would know that.
Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Jess and I had pig day and we went to home. We just missed you, I guess, because we really like the timing.
I think it's hard for families to have to decide.
And everyone has their things they care about. And luckily, Jess and I have the same thing. We don't like bald—call it bald puss.
Bald pussy. Bald pussy. If there's bald spots. Okay, great. And we don't like that. Okay.
Brazilian.
I thought Brazilian is... Clean? Clean. Rob?
Just definition of Brazilian wax.
You can do that on your own time.
Yeah, there's like, you can just get different kinds, but Brazilian generally means all hair.
Oh my God. That's so funny. Did she laugh?
That's really funny.
This is very exciting. It's holiday party season.
Work parties, family parties, parties with friends.
Parties with your animals.
It's a great reason to shop for new clothes or accessories and really like spice up your wardrobe. Make it fancy.
Oh, tell me about it. I really like to make my house feel very me during the holidays. You could be decorating the outside of the house, getting some lights, something for the windows, grab some new holiday towels, some festive hand soap. Oh, I love a good festive hand soap. Candles. You really you can do it all.
Oh, and one other thing. Amazon Music is here to help with the playlist. Curating the party playlist, it's an art.
Now, we were also so quick. So quick. In fact, it was almost eerie. We walked in and we were doing just like a quick look and Jess just beelined. He knew his daughter.
Yes. And he knew his daughter. Yeah. And it was the one.
No. The tree is our daughter. Okay, okay. That makes sense. We co-parent. Okay. But she lives at my house.
So he's a little bit of a debbie-deb, but whatever. And she's really pretty. She's so nice. She's... We said—because last year, Archery was a boy, and he was a model. Oh. He was gorgeous. Striking. Striking and very—angular. Exactly. Very angular. Not around features. Not around features. This girl is—she's not a model, but she's a star.
Exactly. And I've been trying some different hats on her, toppers.
I haven't decided yet.
It's a sweet story.
Wow.
Oh, my God. The way you feel about the trees is like how Kristen feels about the dogs.
Wow.
So, for her, trees are not dogs. She wants a pretty one.
Yeah.
So what'd you do with the truck?
Yeah, I don't feel bad for the... You don't? I don't.
Bald puss?
Stop.
Make him go away. Make him go away. I can only take, I can't, I kind of forgot.
No.
Yeah, why not?
Are you combining?
Yeah, practically none.
Wow. It's like quadrupled in size.
Do you want to feel her? I do. I want to touch it, but also last time we touched it.
Wow. There is so much.
Are they separated? There's no real.
Wow. It's so soft.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You're probably illegal. It's like, yeah, it's illegal.
Did you use tweezers?
That's okay. Yeah, we live and learn. This is an R&D situation.
All right. Oh, one more thing. One cool thing that happened that I want to put out there in the world, because I think it's good for me to manifest this. Okay. When Callie and I were shopping, we went into one store and I bought some cute little boxer shorts.
As we were leaving, Callie was in front of me and someone had held the door open for her to come out. And like some woman walked in and then Callie walked out. And then he this person continued to hold the door for me. And I was like, oh, thank you. Then I kept walking. I don't know. He's a mystery man.
It was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. Really? Male or female?
Build it for me. But now he's sort of a haze. Oh. Like, I don't remember. I don't like that part. I know, I know. But part of it was, it happened so fast, he took my breath away. Yeah. And I think it read, you know, it read.
Yeah. And he smiled. And I don't remember if he showed teeth or not. But no, he just like, that's who he is. Okay. And I turned, you know, I turned and I said, oh my God, that guy was so hot. And she said, I know.
Yes. So we, so this is an undeniable situation.
Well, I think they were together.
Well, I don't know. Okay. There's no way to know.
Exactly.
Brentwood Country Mart.
On Black Friday. On Black Friday. Probably around noon.
I'll read them all. Comment or.
Exactly.
Oh, I'll know.
No, because, you know, when I walk through the world, I'm extremely unobservant. I don't notice people. You're blind, basically. I really am. And speaking of blind, I got some soap in my eye this morning, and it was— Blinding? I thought I did some permanent damage.
Okay. So anyway, I walk around so unobservant, and yet this person was strong. He pulled me out. It was shocking.
He was, he was so attractive.
That day? A lot of times. A ton. Yeah.
I am prone to fantasies. I, I didn't actually. I was more just like.
I was just taken.
A little bit. Oh my God. And I don't even believe in that, but like maybe. Anyway, that was a big mystery.
No, it's starting to dissipate. And I don't remember him.
Me too.
Yeah, guys, seriously.
Seriously. Okay, anyway, so that, we'll add that to the mystery pile with the guy I met in New York, the restaurant guy.
That mystery is also.
I don't give him permission to say my name.
I don't want him.
Okay, this is for Fei Fei Li.
Not intimately. Yeah.
And he was giving her a lot of props and reverence.
That she really deserves. She was, I loved her so much.
She was a delight. Yeah. Now some facts for her. How long did Einstein live at Princeton? He lived in Princeton, New Jersey for 22 years from 1933 until his death in 1955. He purchased a house at 112 Mercer Street, which became his home until his death. The house was for him, his wife, Elsa, stepdaughter, Margo, and secretary, Helen Dukas.
I guess so.
I bet it's more like an assistant. Nowadays, we'd call it an assistant.
Okay. Oh, we talk about Cambridge Analytica. which was the whole thing that happened with Facebook. I encourage people to listen to Acquired, the podcast Acquired. They do an episode on Meta, fantastic episode. And they talk about what happens with the Facebook Cambridge Analytica scandal. And a lot of it's very misunderstood.
A lot of what the public thinks, we're all missing a ton of information.
Exactly. And that's not what it was. And she didn't.
But they were using old information from an old quiz. Oh. Or quiz or something that Facebook did a long time ago. And that's what they used. Oh, okay. They weren't using current information. And yeah, they- Like, Facebook didn't sign off on... They didn't hand over this information.
It's such a good podcast.
I'm always shocked.
In the business world, like learning. I mean, you listen, I mean, they're four hours long. Meta six. Yeah, they spend a month researching a company and then they just tell you everything about the business and how it came to be and all of it. And you do leave feeling like you went to, Like you took a course in business.
I recommend Acquired. And that's it.
Yeah.
Me too.
Me too.
That's the line we learned from the Lisa Kudrow fact check that we say to people that I'm just grateful for you. I'm grateful you exist.
Yeah, me too.
Love you.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Thank you.
I hope it's about fashion.
There are times that you prioritize it, but- But that's like top tier best friend maintenance.
You mean go out?
Yeah, it's true.
You guys share anthropology and addiction. That's a lot of
Okay.
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
Yeah.
There was a price to pay.
But there are peptides like that. There are.
I know.
It's a very immigrant parent thing to do, actually. So that's funny.
Yes. Even though you can.
It's in there.
I was a double major, and I was also summa. We won't say what the majors were, because that might dilute.
Yeah. For the same reason, because I wanted to do theater. My parents were like, probably not. You're going to need to do something else.
Oh, that's sweet. And then it hits me.
People with backgrounds like the both of you, you're expecting the worst thing to happen. So it's really nice to have evidence that it could go a positive way.
Yeah, we've heard it from a few people have talked about these.
They were like, we tried it. It didn't work.
You have to be motivated, self-motivated.
How could he not?
It's literally the movie Her.
The most efficient way is to do that.
It is mixed messages because he calls people unicorns he likes, but then he also says he doesn't like unicorns. So it is tricky. There's confusion. You're right to be confused. Understandably.
Also, humans don't even have the ability to do a lot of the stuff that these animals can do. So which one are you even aiming for?
This is why the Roomba worked, because it didn't have to use any digits or anything. It was just sort of at random moving.
Smarty pants.
Also, can you do a dishes one? like putting them.
No wrinkles.
Oh, my God. This is your job. I've been so annoyed all day long.
It did. Took it right out.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But you can't tell it like it has the bin and it has all the objects and you can't say pick the shoe.
No. Exactly.
The Kim Kardashian got?
I guess Iman gave her one.
I guess she's the only one. What a romantic gesture. Yeah, I know. What's the deal?
That says so much more about Dax than it does about you.
Yeah, but wasn't that part of the whole thing with Oppenheimer? I mean, they were trying to keep it to America, right?
Well, you don't, but do they feel like we got to protect? I mean, obviously not, which is amazing. I'm shocked. Because that's our whole thing. We've talked about it all the time with AI. Like, well, if we want to put the brakes on it.
Yeah, exactly. Other countries aren't. So what are we doing?
That's interesting. Wow. Great take. For someone to be smarter than them, where they're at the most upper echelon, is scary to them. It's a threat to their identity.
Yeah. It's great, actually.
Which is so flattering.
The cadence. Yeah, they got it.
That's the thing you think as a person you cannot replicate.
Like our Armchair Anonymous.
Like what are some good prompts? Yeah.
I like that.
An emotional reaction.
Wow, that's awesome.
We said that we were talking to Feifei about that, like especially with physics, there's something mystical about it. There's something about releasing your firm hold on life and giving it up.
Unicorn-y. Very unicorn-y.
Oh, my God.
You were like the vessel for this.
There's symmetry at the very least. From where, I don't know.
It looks gorgeous.
The green is really nice.
I know, they know how to do it.
Well, I'm not allowed because I'm short. And they have a rule that if you're short, you have to show a little bit of skin. If you're wearing oversized clothing, you have to show a little bit of skin on your arm.
How'd it go?
Yeah, well, you're 50. So a lot of things have changed.
Yeah, sure.
Probably aerodynamics.
So you're back home.
I got you a present for your birthday. Do you want to open it?
Like when you got two steaks?
Is there underwear on the floor?
Yeah, very.
Yeah, because that's one ply.
The tissue is from Nikki Kehoe. The present is not.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, also from Nikki Kehoe. That's how they wrap.
I bought it as a first edition and it is signed. It's signed? Yeah.
I don't know if I remember it.
Well, that's why they're so rare.
We think about wealth disparity now. But then in order to even read a book, you had to be a millionaire. Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, we sure do.
Oh, great.
Yeah, I wrote some down, too.
I did. Congratulations. I journaled every day.
I had therapy, too, and we talked about it. And she said I could— Burn them? Yeah, or shred them or whatever.
No. It may— She's like, if that's going to allow you to really be able to be honest and truthful with yourself in a way you won't be able to otherwise... And let it out of your body. You know, sometimes her and I talk about, like, there are things... That I talk about with her that only she gets to hear. And she said, you know, it's not just me. You also have you. Yeah.
And you have a dialogue with, you can have a dialogue with yourself.
Especially via the journal. Yeah. But yes, of course, I have to be myself. very honest with myself there. And so if I'm out of fear not doing that, then it's not worth it. So I'm still deciding.
Right. Right.
It would have cost $89.18.
It's not enough, though. I wish it was 5,000.
You're welcome.
It was good. It's my first therapy of the new year. You know, for a second, I was debating. I was like, maybe I only need to start going like as check-ins now. Maybe I don't really need to be on this consistent of a schedule. But then today I was like, no, I need to keep up my once every two weeks.
It does not hurt.
Yeah. Yeah.
There are some bad ones. Oh, I know.
Speaking of, okay, you know how I'm always paranoid about drowning my cells?
Yeah, or people in general, like drinking too much water and then drowning their cells.
So him and I are aligned. Soulmates. That's why he's got those fresh hands. He doesn't drink any water.
Oh, my gosh. I'm going to put my hair up real time. If you want to see it.
Okay. If you want to see it, go to YouTube.
Yeah. Well, I did it for, when's this out?
I did it for a commercial we were just in together.
It came out yesterday.
Our little commercial.
Yes, exactly. It was so fun. And it's out. It was out yesterday. It's on our Instagrams.
And in it, I do have a... ponytail with a braid that I love. It's just really hard for me to do on my own. I had a hairstylist that day.
But I do like it.
Hair play? I would go every day.
I'd pay for that. Anyway, okay, so drowning cells, everyone laughs at me. They guffaw.
And I met someone who drowned his cells.
And it was really bad.
No, he's a real person I know. I'm not going to say who. I'm not going to out him.
Right. He's a friend of a friend. This is a sad story. I'm transitioning into a sad story.
Yeah, stop. A big group of friends was meeting and one Robbie- Yeah, sweet Robbie from our chain. Yes, from the connections chain wasn't there. I was like, where's Robbie? And his wife said, oh, he's at the hospital with-
Yes, with... The unmentionable. No, because... He's not underwear.
No, his name is unmentionable.
We can't call him untouchable because he's Indian.
Yeah, so now I'm giving a lot of info away.
That's true. There is one. There is one. Anyway, this is sad. This is sad. He had a seizure. Yeah. And I guess he had already had a seizure a year before and was on seizure medication and stuff.
Right, exactly.
When he went the first time after his seizure, they checked his salinity levels and they were so low. And he did drink in... like really excessive amount of water. And he drowned his cells.
Are you referring to like the potatoes I made or something?
I think you have a good amount of salt from your diet. Yeah, I feel fine about my salinity.
And I don't drink any water, so I'm good there.
He was on an exercise routine, and I'm not sure why. Anyway, so turns out, per usual, I'm right. You can drown yourselves. Per usual.
That's MeUndies, a former sponsor.
Please look out for that.
I'm happy to join forces.
Oh my God.
Okay. It says, yes, cells can drown in a condition called water intoxication or hyponatremia, which occurs when there's too much water in the body. When there's too much water in the body, sodium levels drop, causing water to move into cells and causing them to swell. This can be especially dangerous for brain cells as it can lead to pressure in the brain, confusion, drowsiness. Wait, though.
MeUndies is a great brand. Really? It's a brand? Yeah, it is.
He is extremely overindexed.
You think it's a king?
It's almost as if they were a current sponsor. We planned all that.
Yeah, it is weird. Then I wondered, is like epilepsy.
Yeah. She doesn't have it. Actually.
Hi, Robbie.
So his wife is my oldest best friend.
And when we were in high school, she had seizures. Seizures. And they were dating at that time.
And she got in this car accident because she had one. Hers were different, though. She had, like, she didn't have grand mal seizures.
Petite mal. That's what they're called.
They should call it boutique seizures.
Sorry, I just had to call that out.
So anyway, yes, he has three.
Do you want to?
I mean, he's definitely at work.
Oh, I forgot.
Oh, no, the Sugar Bowl.
They lost.
To who? Don't say Texas.
But they're still in it because... Oh, no.
I know, but they played...
Yeah, I did. Hold on. I got to call Robbie. He's the one also that knows about all of this.
Don't say that. Knock on wood. Hello? Hey, Robbie.
You're on candid camera. You are on air.
You're on air.
Well, we started we wanted to call you about some one thing, but now we have two things to talk to you about that are very important.
Well, she doesn't have, okay, not specific epilepsy, but you do have three people in your life that have had seizures. And it's now we're starting to worry.
That's what he would say.
Yeah, yeah, there was some implication. This is video, so I know people can see that there's something on the floor, so I had to say it.
I knew it. I fucking knew it.
My guess is Gino would say otherwise. Agreed. But this is wild. Four, Robbie, four is a lot.
Wait, no, because mine happened once I left.
Oh, you think it's the water?
Because I didn't drink enough water and then it caught up.
An elephant in the room, if you will. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That's a lot of words. That's a lot. That's too many words. You need it to be small. No, no.
Oh, you got going. Oh, my God.
OK, now we have moving on to point number two.
Yeah. That sounds like a good plan. That's going to work. Okay. Now, point number two is football. And you are my main source of information for football. I was texting you during the Texas-Georgia game, and we were secretly gloating while I was amongst a bunch of Texans. And then Dax just told me that then Texas went on to, like, win all the rest of the game.
But does that be like a fluke?
Oh, twice. Yeah. But then it's kind of a fluke that we aren't. Like, it doesn't make sense that we beat them twice and we're now out.
Yeah, all right. Well, that clears that up, I guess.
Thanks, Robbie. All right. Thanks, guys.
He's a very handsome man. You know, I only have handsome and beautiful friends.
This has started from day one.
I know. Anywho.
Okay. I see that logic.
Oh, that's nice.
All of us unicorns are. How did that happen?
It's not making me nervous. It's like.
No, it's just like, where's it going?
God. You're so much like my father.
He just loves to explain stuff.
Parts do, but not that part.
No. I, I'm, I'm more into like the Anne Frank story of that era. Like I, I don't, I guess I'm really not drawn deeply to people in power. Like, I'm not—that's not a thing that— You're drawn to the disenfranchised. Yeah.
Well, I just find that way more— as a human story, way more compelling. I find that kind of overcoming, like a true overcoming, much more compelling.
Than someone who's like, just, feeding off power.
Oh, I agree, yes. I find that fascinating. Those figures, they don't do it for me.
I'm kind of like... towards them, you know?
Speaking of- Go ahead. Eye roll.
I figured out where my eye roll comes from. We thought it was an Indian thing.
Thought it was maybe just a full resentment I have of everything and everyone. We didn't know, but I knew that's not right. That's not it. It's a habit, but why? And now I know.
Well, I'm going to show the world.
Yeah, but check us out on YouTube and you can see this.
We got it?
All right. Now, Full House was my original friends. Yeah. I was obsessed with it. The only time I was ever punished for my parents, the punishment was I couldn't watch Full House that night. That's in my cells.
That's where I got it. I got it from original Mary-Kate and Ashley Full House.
Yeah. Mimicking. They were my models then and now.
I think it is.
I think it would be sad if they're my Aaron Weakley because they don't know me. But they are my ride or die.
Yeah. I guess that makes sense. But also doesn't make sense.
Well, they're not identical twins. You know that, right?
Baloney. They're fraternal twins.
It's crazy. Do we know this for positive?
Thank you. I know. I know. They're not? That's like me saying I know something about Valentino Rossi.
I know nothing.
Exactly, is the whole point.
Thank you. So, yeah, fraternal.
Well, they're fraternal.
Okay, whatever.
They're fraternal twins. I believe you.
You would not. I mean, I agree with you. It's shocking.
Okay. Well, some people don't understand twins. They don't understand what identical means versus fraternal.
They must not or...
For fraternal?
I think the opposite.
I feel like if most fraternal twins I know are boy and girl.
That's why they are very confusing.
The body is a wonderland. John Mayer. Yeah. All right, let's do a little bit of facts. This is for Ken Goldberg. He was wonderful. I really, really liked him.
A lot. Okay, now this episode starts with your underwear on the floor.
That was shocking.
I know, but in the moment, you can't think straight.
Oh my God, that's so funny. Okay, but also, so that happened, the underwear. But then I realized when I was editing it, the inside out of my pant pocket- Was exposed? Was exposed the whole time.
It is weird, but no one caught that. So the whole episode, the inside of my pant pocket is out.
Now, the vaccination mark. The smallpox vaccine scar is a small mark you might have on your upper arm if you receive the DRIVAX or ACAM 2000 smallpox vaccines. It's a sign that the vaccine successfully spurred an immune response in your body to protect you against smallpox. Not many people receive a smallpox...
Not many people receive a smallpox vaccine today, so the scar is far less common than it used to be. The smallpox vaccine leaves a scar because it causes a minor infection in your skin. Your body fights off the infection, but this process leaves behind a small mark on your skin where the infection and related inflammation took place.
You can look at pictures online. They have them and they do look like that. Okay, the book, the scientific management book that was influential on Stalin is called The Principles of Scientific Management by Frederick Taylor.
Okay, now... So Kim Kardashian posted some pictures with the Optimus robot. And it said that Elon gave it to her. And she denies that she was paid for those pictures. Okay.
This is what it says the robot can do. The Tesla Optimus robot. Okay. It says it can do physical labor. Okay. It says it can move materials, assemble parts, and load items onto machinery. Okay. Yeah, I'm skeptical of that.
This is also on the AI overview, so they're buddies.
They're all in cahoots. Yeah. Inventory management. Optimus can use barcode or RFID scanning to track inventory in real time. Home chores. Optimists can carry groceries, help the elderly, and perform other home tasks.
I mean, that would be good. Data collection and research. Optimists can be used in labs or remote monitoring environments to collect data. I mean, that's just like the brain.
Yeah. Smart home integration. Optimists can link up with Tesla cars and energy systems to become part of a smart home. Optimists can walk among people and serve drinks at a bar.
But have you heard about that? Okay, apparently there's a place in like Culver City or something that is run by, it's like a burger place that is run by robots and the robots drop off your food.
I think it's saying it delivers it to your table, but it might not be bipedal.
We should go.
Hello, Fowler. It looks like a little thing with serving trays and American flags that goes to your table. We'll have to go. But okay. It says Optimus can perform precise movements and heavy lifting. Optimus can adapt its behavior over time to reach the desired results. Optimus can play games like rock, paper, scissors. Okay. So anyway, that's what AI claims its buddy Optimus can do.
They're best friends.
And our robot feels a little left out.
He's wondering what's going on because like there's a lot of other robots now.
Rabi Rab Sabi. There was Prada has these bag chains that I really want that are robots.
No, it's a bag chain.
Oh, she might, but they're called bag charms. And look, Prada has this one. This one's in like, this one's in like snow gear.
I agree. But it's not trash. This is $1,100.
Well, okay. But I agree. I would not put – people love bag charms and I think that's great and it's a way to like show your identity. But they're not for me on my bag. But I want this little robot to just like sit in my house.
He's pretty big. Look at him compared to the bag.
You said 39% of U.S. jobs are still manual labor. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, reported that 39.1% of civilian workforce in the U.S. performs physically demanding jobs that require lifting, carrying, pushing, pulling, kneeling, stooping, crawling, and climbing activities in varied environmental conditions.
Yeah. But I'm just wondering, is it really manual? Yeah.
It's laborious. All right. Well, that's it for Ken.
In addition to being a physics teacher?
Just to see for productivity?
Uh-huh, okay.
If you're starting to have a panic attack, if you start thinking about having it, it gets so exacerbated because
I wonder if, because I often say this, I'm like, yes, I'm a hypochondriac. It's not like I'm like, ah, this hurts. You're a lazy hypochondriac. I got to go to the doctor and get tests. Don't you think a real hypochondriac is in the doctor all the time?
Yeah. That's a good question.
Oh, I love this. This is a very validating. You're getting a clean bill of health from this whole thing.
Whoa, so many.
This is now she has woken up.
What they really don't want to say is we don't know. I think a lot of doctors don't want to say that.
But this is in your head.
I have epilepsy. Oh, do you?
Oh, my goodness.
I have an exact image of what the scene is.
Relative to where they came from.
100%.
You can't get what you don't know.
It's like they can't help it. When you can't help anything about your personality.
Yeah, they're often It is so ubiquitous. You almost have to delineate. There's that new podcast, Telepathy Tapes, and it is about nonverbal autistic children. But you have to, oh, it's about autism, but, you know, really extreme. You have to say that as opposed to just before.
Oh, interesting.
Oh my God. Oh, my God.
Do you think part of the problem is with social media? I feel like people want a thing that makes them specific. They want a thing that makes them special. They want something to be able to talk about, be an expert in. I think they want to excuse some of their shitty behavior.
Yeah, I'm sure that's part of it. But I also think there is this like inclination to have a thing now to present to the world.
Like you don't even have a personality if you don't have a thing.
Right, that's what I'm talking about.
They don't want to treat. That's my whole point. They don't want anything to change necessarily. They just want to say I have this or I'm this.
This episode was really interesting because we talk a lot about overdiagnosis, but also about kind of... Psychosomatic. Psychosomatic contagions.
Yeah, we've knocked out 80% of the stimuli we're used to.
Exactly. Of course. It was a crazy time psychologically.
Right.
Double reverse.
Oh, my God. Reverse back.
Yeah.
I know.
I had walked yesterday.
No, I didn't.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they don't get it.
Do you think that aliens have to worry about bone density? No.
So jealous. Yeah. Speaking of, well, this episode, which is for Dr. Susanna Sullivan.
Dr. Suze.
Yes. It's connected to this episode, but it's also a ding, ding, ding for a future episode. I'm starting to panic that I have something. Oh, okay. And it might be psychosomatic.
Well, it didn't. It didn't get worse. I was like, oh, yeah, I'm fine. Nothing's like really getting in my way, you know. Yeah, yeah. But then we have another expert coming up. Easter egg. And there is something brought up in that episode.
Well, I want to kind of.
I know, but I don't want to get into the details because it's not I think I have perimenopause. It's I think I am getting frozen shoulder pain.
Maybe.
If I must.
I mean, sometimes I do some little lifting.
Yeah.
Yeah, sometimes I do.
Well, no. It also happened when I was home.
Oh, God, it's so confusing. It happened when I was home. Something happened when I was home that made me think, oh, gosh, I might have this thing that my mom had and my grandmother had.
Let me ask.
Okay, let me ask. I have a crazy sim. Okay.
It's bad. Like, I feel bad saying it. Okay. And I think people might be mad at me for saying it, but I have to. This is wild.
So because of the SAG Awards, there was a bit in there about Gossip Girl that I wrote. And because of it, I was mimicking the opening of the pilot. So I started the pilot to hear the voiceover to write it.
And so it was just on.
With Kristen.
So then when I listened, I just kind of had it. I kept it going.
So I've been watching it at night.
I'm back in.
So I was doing a little rewatch, casual rewatch, which was nice and nostalgic, liked that. And I just got to this part with Michelle Trachtenberg.
And I was watching... She was on, you know, a bunch of episodes, but this was her first time on it. And I was... And I thought, whoa, I haven't like...
seen her in a while and she has a really great part on that show and she plays a horrible villain who is scary and manipulative and scary and so I've been thinking a lot about her and even yesterday I said to Jess I said I'm re-watching Gossip Girl and did you see it Michelle Trachtenberg has such an interesting part in it yeah And then she passed away today.
It's really sad. I mean, I don't know any of the details.
I know.
I know, me too. We all do, I think. And I mean, when things are ruled out like a car accident or things like that, yeah, we start making.
Well, you knew him. I mean, that's fair.
She did have a liver transplant.
It was really sad. So tragic. And... What? That's so weird. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I haven't thought about her in a really long time. And then yesterday, I said it, said her name out loud for the first time. I...
Be careful. That's what Jess said. He says, you really need to be careful.
What am I supposed to do?
I'm not caught up.
Interesting.
I understand that.
Of course.
So you wish he wasn't even in it?
Me too.
I loved this episode, but I loved what it made me start thinking about and questioning. And I think everyone is overdiagnosed.
But a seizure is so, I mean.
No medication.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Well, she said for some people, it helps to know that that's what's happening. And that makes sense. That's almost like a DBT.
I wonder how many neurologists... No. I mean, do you think they all know this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So weird. Because like I had not heard that at all. And I had gone to it. It's not like he said, well, let me see if they're psychosomatic. Like that was not a thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like the over-diagnosis of ADHD.
No.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, but also because we just decided what that was. Like, it's not... I mean, epilepsy and diabetes are like clinical and medical. And ADHD is, but now we've diluted it into that like... Everyone has it.
And that's just personality traits to me. I'm going to get in so much trouble for saying that, but I think a lot of it is us taking personality traits that are like- And making them disorders. Yeah, that are our favorite personality traits and calling it a disorder.
Yeah.
The bar should be that it's disabling.
I mean, I think also, unfortunately, that's nebulous. It's for one person, having a diagnosis is probably very helpful. For another, it could get in their way. I mean, it's hard to know.
Yeah.
I agree. Yeah.
It's so personality driven. I mean, I saw my brother last night, which was really nice.
Went to dinner.
All time. It was really nice. Yeah. But we talked a little bit about this. I think he felt like he wasn't good at school.
And then, so then he, I think, subconsciously, and he was like, maybe even a little consciously, just said, fuck it.
Like, if I can't do it.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Yeah.
That's possible. I mean, he's, yes, he's so different from me. He made many different choices.
Yeah. And I don't need, is it fucking them up or just making them, it might just make them have their own, like really feel the need to define themselves.
And they know they're doing it.
Of course not.
I guess so. I mean, I think my brother was spared a lot of it because of the eight year gap. Like I was out by the time he was 10, you know.
They might. Well, they definitely were shocked at what was going on.
By things that weren't, shouldn't have been shocking.
So, yes, I do think maybe the bar was set.
I said that.
I was like, it's going to be fine. It was building on itself. Like, the more he felt like he wasn't doing the right thing, then he would do something else that was not the right thing and something else and something else. Like, it was, it's, yeah. But you know what's also funny is they were so worried, of course, and he's doing great. Just got a promotion. Like, he's great.
It all is fine.
Yeah.
I know. I agree. And that's also a ding, ding, ding to this episode because that's sort of what she was saying. She's like, the expectation is that everyone's supposed to hit 100 at everything. She's like, it's not realistic. Yeah. And then we say there's a disorder that's causing them to not, you know, reach the highest potential. And it's just like, that's just life.
A hundred percent.
No, I know. I know. I agree.
They don't really. I mean, if we're out at dinner, my dad will get beer. I will get wine normally. My mom sometimes will get a cocktail, like a sugary cocktail.
Yeah, exactly. Sangria.
Loves the sangria. And my brother will get like a tequila soda or a... Sure, sure. whiskey something you know you and your dad are the drinkers yes yeah yeah and will you and your dad ever get kind of drunk yeah yeah well yeah he does and so i guess i am i'm sure i am too not drunk not drunk but like yeah yeah loose yeah but my mom i'm so critical of my mom
And he's so critical of my dad.
I know it was funny because Jess was there and he was like, oh, a daddy's girl and a mama's boy? Like, duh, classic. Textbook. And my brother was like, oh yeah, I guess it is. It's not special. But yeah, it is.
Yes.
It's tough.
Yeah.
It's hard. I mean, my mom and dad are on a cruise right now.
Oh, I forget.
Yeah.
And they sent a picture, or my mom took a picture and sent it to my brother and I on the group chain. And then I woke up to this, and all I saw was my brother say, why aren't you smiling? And then he had, like, laughing emojis. And I looked, and then, yes, my mom had taken, like, a selfie of her and my dad. My dad is smiling, and she looks...
So, yes, I do think that's what it is.
Of course, my brother is laughing. And I'm like, yeah, why? Can't you just... Why aren't you smiling?
Yeah, I had the same reaction. But his is like, he can... He's like, that's silly.
But I am like... Oh, mom, why? Come on, mom. I know.
I know, which is exactly what it is. And she said, oh, I wasn't paying attention. And it was like, yes, what do you mean? Like, then it's like, of course you were paying attention because you took the picture.
They sent another one yesterday and everyone was smiling. Smiling.
Why don't you smile more?
I know. I feel bad. But you know what? This is the way it goes.
It can work the outside in.
But yeah, so I felt bad about that. But what can we do? Yeah.
That was nice to spend some time.
He's off to Big Bear with some friends.
They're going to ski.
Yeah.
No. And so, okay, this is another thing. I'm like, why do we do this? Why do we fall into these roles? It's so exhausting. It's so exhausting to be like... I'm nervous about him skiing. I'm nervous about him getting to Big Bear at night.
Yes, because he's my eight year old young. He's my little brother. Like it's never going away. And we all and he mentioned it to at dinner. He said, you still think of me like that. And I and I said, well, when you're around me, you still act like that. It was a good conversation. We were like smiling, unlike my mom. But because even when he was trying to park, he like called.
Things he wouldn't do if he was meeting somebody else, he reverted too. We're all reverting.
Right.
You want other people to depressurize you.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a lot.
They're just- The North Carolinians?
But they're funny. Well, so far.
But they, I don't think they hate it because if it came from, if it comes from the top down.
Right, exactly.
I'm excited to see where this goes, but I'm also confused.
Yeah. We just, it's just.
Normal. It's normal.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yes.
I know. I think the same thing. I would have never been able to pinpoint that. Unless I, without leaving, that like, oh, I'm just making, I feel like I need to make sure everyone is safe.
I would never have been able to put two and two together about that.
Without being in it.
Like, are you beta?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. That's so now that you're saying it like that. I think because, you know, you do, I mean, anthropology and all of these reasons, there's a million reasons why, but you pay attention a lot to status and alpha, beta, all these things. It's very much on your mind a lot and in the way you think about the world.
Yeah.
Yeah. No, yeah.
But I think that's weirdly... because you are a younger sibling. Like, I don't have that.
Right. But I don't think, I'm not thinking about that ever though.
And I'm never thinking like, oh, I'm, And I'm never I just it's not even a part of my processes.
That's an interesting question.
Well, depends because it might, I mean, I don't know what you're referring to, but you can tell me, I'm happy to hear it. But- I think what I'm allergic to is people feeling like they are above. Because I'm like, for me, I'm like, I don't understand what that is. We should all be... Like, I don't feel like that around Bill Gates.
I wasn't like, oh, God, I'm like uncomfortable talking to him or that didn't that doesn't scare me. Well, no, I guess I'm also not trying to get his like approval.
See, that's where I disagree with you. I don't think literally any topic in the world he has the right to talk the most. On so many topics, he does because he has an expertise there. But I don't—I'm not in a room with somebody and think just because they have— done X, Y, and Z or become this or famous or.
100% of him and I are talking about his tie that was on the floor, his Tom Ford tie.
I am more than happy to take up space in that conversation.
Yeah, great.
Okay.
Yeah.
uncomfortable with him having that knowledge and me not. I'm not either. I think it's great. He should keep, let's engage about it.
I mean.
But it depends on, I guess it's like if I'm in a one-on-one conversation or the four of us are together.
If we're in a group dynamic with four people on a plane, it's not like he's, it's not like he's on a stage. No. And he's giving a lecture. This is, these are people in conversation. Yeah. I think it's totally allowed for anyone to ask a question, to bring up a topic, to say a thing.
I don't think it's like, well, we have to sit here in silence and let Bill just talk for four hours because he's the smartest person here. I don't think that at all.
Yeah, I don't disagree with that.
Yeah. I'm not arguing with you about that. But I don't feel inadequate.
Yeah, but you're saying I'm uncomfortable in those situations, but I don't feel uncomfortable in that situation.
Yeah, that to me is not that. That's like a human respect thing. That's not about who should have who should have who has knowledge or who has something to say. It's if you're you come to a party and there's no chair for you there. I don't think that's unique in feeling like, ah, that doesn't feel good.
To be fair, that's not, that hasn't happened.
It was a. It was a, it was a gala of sorts or something that I was with Kristen.
She was invited. She told them she was bringing me. She was bringing, I was her assistant at the time. Yeah. So yes, no, I wasn't like, yeah, I should be invited to this gala. That's the difference. I wasn't like, oh yeah, I belong here. I came as her guest.
And then, yeah, there wasn't a seat, and they had to move one and put one in the middle of the thing, and it was very uncomfortable. Yeah. I wasn't like, well, I deserve to be at this table, and why isn't there a seat for me? It was, oh, my God, this is so uncomfortable. I'm obviously not supposed to be here. It's become way more obvious now that there's a chair—
I had a seizure nocturnal. I woke up. I was sleeping by myself. I didn't know, but I was like, I feel crazy. I peed in the bed.
blocking everybody that they scooted over that mariska hargitay is like you can share my cu with me like that's uncomfortable right that's not because i think i should have been invited all along or i should have been that's there's a difference there i mean maybe you're different i think anyone in that situation i think i have a ton of experience with that situation
Yeah, but you don't like it just like I don't. Like if you had gone, if you've even said it, you're like even at the Golden Globes, like when there's a shot on Kristen, what do you do? Do you get in it? Do you stay out of it? It's uncomfortable when you don't know your place. That's normal to think like this is weird.
It's not new to me either as far as feeling like I'm not enough. Growing up, feeling like I'm not enough.
Really bad muscle soreness. I thought maybe I had a kidney issue. So I went to the doctor. They took a urine test and they were like, nothing's wrong with your kidneys. We don't know what it is. They gave me a steroid shot for the...
So I have to do these things to be enough.
Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know anyone who's, I don't think anyone would do that.
Sure, of course.
Well, part of it is social awareness. There's social awareness.
When did I say that?
I didn't say the same.
I said everyone should be able to, in a conversation, provide a question, an antidote, not be afraid to talk. I don't think people should be afraid to talk.
I think you should... No one in any conversation you're having with anyone doesn't matter. Status doesn't matter. Anything. If you're the only one talking, if you're making everything about yourself, if you're that you don't have social awareness, that's a big problem for people. But I don't, the status element of that is, is to me irrelevant. It's understanding a social dynamic when you're in it.
And being able to read that.
A lot of people do, yeah.
Yeah, I think chasing it leads people to be crazy.
No.
No, I was very disoriented.
Yep, I agree.
Sure.
Yeah, all that's true. I agree. I think status to me is problematic when you are chasing it And manipulating your way in, it's not by effort or prowess, but by manipulation, you will, you want to be at the top of that totem pole.
A year goes by. And then I'm on vacation with girlfriends and I have another seizure in sleep again. And they're there. So they see what happened. Then I go to the hospital. They do an MRI. It's all fine. And then when I got back home, I saw a neurologist. He looked at the scans and he said, based on the fact that they were a year apart, they were at night, it's epilepsy.
Yeah, that's a problem. But there is a huge problem in social climbing. It's disgusting and it is repellent. People who are around it.
That's a skill.
No, what I'm speaking of for a lot of people now is followers.
Well, in this world, it's connected.
Yeah.
You should try to be your best at what you're doing. I agree. Yeah. But I'm talking about social climbing.
That's a different beast.
Yeah, or in the world. Like that's the, that's, that you have the most followers or the most approval or the most likes or the most famous friends.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. I know that.
I agree. When we had... Allison on about conversation and we talked about group conversations. Yes. That's she's like at any given moment, somebody has the status.
But part of it is understanding everyone does have status in different domains. Even when we talk about like a CEO or something, I actually think it has to be very, you have to be very aware when you are the CEO or the person on top that everyone Everyone defers to you as having the most status because you're in charge.
But let's say you're talking about something very specific and probably you don't know as much as your employee.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Okay, hold on. A couple of facts for Suzanne. Okay, sonic weapons. Sonic weapons affect... Can they affect the brain? Yes. Acoustic weapons use sound waves to injure or incapacitate an opponent by emitting very loud noises that they can cause pain, nausea, dizziness, and even permanent hearing loss. You said you wanted one in the bathroom.
Yeah.
You had a sonic boom?
Were you constipated?
Yeah, me too.
I know.
Wow.
Well, that's good. You fixed your problem. We wouldn't recommend three servings of Metamucil. I think go by the jar.
And I've been on Keppra ever since. So that was in 2020. So I've been on it for five years. I haven't had one. That's epilepsy. Yeah. Okay.
No, go by the prescription amount on the jar.
You do. Just today. Because mine isn't going well today. Teddy Roosevelt did have asthma. As you said, he was a sickly boy.
Exactly. And then I think his was psychosomatic. Because if he got cured by the ranch, which is outside and lots of dusties, it doesn't make sense.
Yeah, dander.
Okay, have we reduced the number of amputations from diabetes? Yes, we have. Asterix. Asterix, because care is much better. Right. To catch before you're gonna have to have an amputation. It doesn't mean we've done better, really, as far as lowering diabetes problems by diagnosing it more.
Exactly.
Yeah. Videos associated with the hashtag autism hashtag accrued 11.5 billion views collectively.
An examination of the top 133 videos providing informational content on autism, which totaled 198.7 million views and 25.2 million likes, showed that 27% of the videos were classified as accurate. While 41% were classified as inaccurate and 32% as overgeneralized. She got that stat. She nailed it.
I always...
I know.
Yeah, exactly. And then she also said one in five people in the world has a mental health diagnosis. Correct again, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
United States.
United States, one in five adults.
I don't know.
But there's a high rate of suicide. That's why he's going there.
Yeah, maybe not.
It's true.
Exactly.
Well, they've had a ton of mental health. So then this is another one of the, like, they have mental health stuff a lot.
The bigger question is, why did you doubt it? I am a hypochondriac. I feel fair to say that.
But it's not diagnosed, but is that better? Because it's still, it's all the same if people are suffering, I guess.
Yeah, so one in five adults have a diagnosed mental health condition. I'm in there. So that's it.
That's it for Dr. Susanna Sullivan.
Okay, bye.
Well, now that we know that it could maybe not be.
So I told a lot of people about this.
So interesting.
It's good for us to have all the information.
Yeah.
You guys probably have little ego that... If you're able to take that from one another.
Oh, yeah. Another fantastic episode of yours that really turned me on to Costco.
My favorite company, too.
So award shows are not making the list there. Oh, award shows do.
Interesting.
I don't think of it like that.
Yeah, let's get back to quiet. Take us to Princeton.
Was it hard to get this done? Because I'm thinking about now. People are talking now about trying to put more restrictions on some of these things because of CTE. Obviously, that had to come up.
I bring it up a lot.
Right. It's just weird to hear that they all came together and they're like, yes, let's do this. And they were able to do it. And now that feels impossible.
There are many, many deaths.
Maybe.
I talk about little brother syndrome.
Little brother energy.
You can be a little brother and not have a little brother energy. It's very specific. But yes, this is what it sounds like America was doing.
APFL.
APFC. I messed that up.
Yeah, he real-times.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, it does. But now we know it's a human name.
I prefer Stiegel's.
Great name. I also love these products.
Yes. I already went through an entire magnesium.
I blasted through and a vitamin C.
Quince is amazing.
I was just in the house, and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater from me. It's blue, and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous, and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
Yeah.
Positivity.
Well, because is he just saying, I want to play this team now?
That's nuts.
Yeah, that's what I was about to say. It's like the friends deal. Yes. Going in all together.
Exactly. People start saying, well, I'm...
It's just like the old adage we hear all the time. The rising tide lifts all boats. It's real.
Right, exactly. It's like Costco. It's making me feel Costco feelings.
I can make that happen.
I know. Even my Hermes hiccup seemed to have made its way back.
First celebrity athlete. That's wild.
And I stand by it.
Right? Thank you.
But OJ wasn't black. He was OJ.
Wait, why'd you get in trouble? I was unrelatable.
I don't have one. That's the whole point. I just want one.
That's not the same with college.
They kind of are scripting it in a way with the NFL. They're planning it for that outcome.
Yeah, it's just a business. We forget because we just think of it as sport, but it's a real business.
Well, it's that thing. We talk about it all the time. Once you have something to lose, things get harder. They get scarier. They get more stressful. There's a little bit less fun. There's more rigidity. It's tricky.
We have three episodes a week. And we had five episodes a week up until September. So it's more than a full time.
Oh, interesting. So they didn't do that evenly.
This is how it happened. This was so funny. We were at a dinner and we both had these Goyard card case holders, me and this other person. And one was a dupe. And so he was looking at both of them and he goes, you know, the saddle stitch is the most impressive stitch ever. Excuse me? How do you know that? And it was because he had just listened to your episode and he got all of us totally in.
Yeah, they got to be interesting.
Yeah.
That's right.
He doesn't know who Natalie Portman is.
It's incredible.
It's pretty. It's effective. It's effective. Efficient.
What a cast. I'm so excited to watch this.
Right?
Wasn't it so cozy? Everything is so soft and so comfortable and so cute. You know I have a bunch of their products I've acquired over the years, and I love them all, all for different occasions. The bras are really something special because it's really hard to find a good, comfortable bra that's also chic. And they have a really good one, the Fits Everybody T-shirt bra.
It really does fit everybody. I have gifted this.
It's a big hit.
Wait, Sunday night football is different than Sunday football?
Well, I had the idea to bring them in to do this.
Oh my God.
Seven-ish total.
But then also you do think about that Christmas game and Beyonce. I'm surprised that they haven't done that more. It's only the Super Bowl halftime show.
So it rotates every year.
What is this year's?
It's almost a lost leader.
Then there's also a cap on that.
Yeah.
I guess.
Doing someone's live podcast.
We promise.
You might run out.
Well, I went to UGA, so I also have a national championship background. I'm just throwing that out there.
Oh, think about Travis.
We got to come back to that. He's not getting screwed. So many Kelsey jerseys on children now because of that?
We've done so much. I see you, another fisherman.
Aha.
So everyone has an incentive.
I was just about to say, I think Americans are so attached to our teams. I think that's a little bit because we don't have a very long history. so we have to build our own allegiances and stuff. And I don't think all these other countries have it, but then I think soccer. I'm wrong.
I hate Cedar Point now. I'll never go. We should have done it on Cedar Point.
Yeah, thanks for coming. How fun. Thanks for having us.
Okay. Well.
Now, tell me if you've ever experienced this, okay?
You get a new scratch.
Yeah.
And it turns into a scar.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then when you look at your arm or hand, wherever the scratch slash scar is, You don't recognize your own self.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I have a new scar.
I do often try to remove my own freckles. You're one to talk.
You try to do lots of surgeries on yourself.
Well, it is. I mean, I'm not advising it.
But I've successfully completed many.
No, this is not that. This was a scratch or something. I don't know what happened there. But I guess I must have picked at it. And now it's a scar.
Do you see it? Well, now it has a little makeup on it because this is where I put my makeup.
In fact, now it's like, now it looks like I'm lying.
I know. It's huge.
Don't, that's not what happened. That is not what happened. It was a scratch.
I'm going to try to avoid that. Although it's, look, aging is normal and natural.
Ideally, yeah. But anywho, so now when I'm like typing, it's on my hand. I see it all the time. And I'm like, who, who, Is she?
Yeah, it's an opportunity for reinvention.
Yeah, they do. No one. Maybe that's why Jan's going so slow. Jan Brady. January.
Absolutely. Well, I've been calling her Jan.
And then he added Brady.
One more day. We can make it through.
We can. Yeah, we can.
Yeah, and it's an indicator.
Oh, you're replacing.
Okay, I think you're going to need a new replacement because soon you're not going to have any hair.
It's so interesting. I don't care about NFL history. When they suggested it, I thought that's a good idea for timing, but I don't, I'm not that, I wanted the row. Sure. But you know what? It was so fantastic. And I was talking about it all night at your party.
Yeah.
There's a lot of people in this area.
Your hair looks nice, though. Okay, good. You did a good job.
You're always within an arm's length.
I know. I appreciate it.
Okay. So maybe with your gusher, you're going to start understanding what I'm talking about, about the scar.
When you get a glance of it, you might be like, whose ear is that?
Speaking of people watching you do weird things, yesterday I was at Sunset Tower. That's a very fancy location in this city.
And I love it. Yeah. It's from Sarah Hendler.
And she put it on me. And so then when I got to Sunset Tower, I was like, oh, I'm going to try to tighten it a little bit, like move it up a rung. Okay. So I took it off and then... I spent, I think, like 20 minutes trying to get this bracelet back on my hand. I could not do it.
Do you mind helping me with this? I did think it could be a meet-cute situation.
And then the universe is wily, right?
Yeah. I was thinking about that and meet-cutes. And guess who reached back out?
The matchmaker.
People remember it didn't, last time didn't go great. And I felt... Bad about yourself. Yeah.
I did. I felt bad about myself.
And this one seems more promising.
Less, less like conducive to me feeling like I hate myself.
So we'll see.
Since I sat at the bar, I couldn't really look, but I'm sure there's fancy people there. There always are.
Navaco, no.
Mediterranean and Italian.
Yeah.
Where people were dressed. I got to be careful.
Uh-huh. I can picture it.
And were they wearing chains maybe?
Yeah, yeah.
It's kind of like Nobu in a way.
That's fun.
Oh.
Tiny chicken?
Not a Cornish hen.
They don't need to call it that. That is not as appetizing.
Right, exactly.
It's fun to do that every now and then and get in the scene.
It is. That's why it's not a main stop for me. But I love Sunset Tower.
I only go like once a year, twice a year.
Also, the food is very good. I had a fried chicken. Ooh. And it was really delicious. They have a great shrimp crock.
It was full size, I think.
Yeah. It's also such a vibe. It is, for people who don't know, it's a hotel here. Sunset Tower Hotel. Very historic. And then there's a bar and a restaurant. It's very L.A. Old school L.A. Old Hollywood vibes.
It got packed. Yeah. See, I went at 2.30.
I didn't mean to, but we left at 8.
So we were there all day. I've been craving it for a while, the energy there.
Oh.
Do you think that maybe now is not the time for you to be like cutting out caffeine?
Yeah, that's a rookie mistake.
Oh, okay.
Yeah. I just, I think taking away things that you like.
Exactly.
It's like maybe now is not the time.
Okay.
That's all right.
All that's fine.
I guess those were big announcements that I already gave.
I took a long time to put my bracelet on. Yeah.
Yeah. When Julia got there, she did it.
No.
I know, but it's also so... I'm so sorry.
Sure, because he's going to have a hard time too. It's much harder than you'd think.
Okay.
You were wingmanning.
Yeah, he's going to have to talk.
It's so weird to be an adult.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that's, yeah. Speaking of young men, Ben and David.
That was a very fun time.
And now I'm really into the NFL as an institution.
Yeah, as a business.
Yesterday, I bought some vintage clothes and bought an L.A. Rams. There's an L.A. Rams vintage shirt.
And I got that because now I really like the L.A. Rams because they were really ahead of. their time progressively.
Yeah.
And I live here.
Well, let's see. The biggest fact to check and the most exciting fact to check is Taylor Swift's car collection.
Very. Does she have a car collection? I was a definite no.
And I felt very arrogant, in my opinion, because I feel like I know everything about her.
Only because I listen to a great podcast, Every Single Album, shout out, that breaks down all of her albums. And they do other people too. And they also just do like music industry stuff. And the two hosts are really awesome. Yeah. So I love that. So now I feel like I know everything because they do deep dive, but I don't think they've talked about her car collection.
They skipped that part. So she does have one.
Okay. There are three sections of cars she has. Okay. Luxury, sports, and practical. Okay. Luxury. Mercedes AMG G63.
a mix.
Is that a sedan or a?
Oh, I thought it was a G-Wagon.
That's what I said.
G-Wagon.
I would like to have one in my life.
At some point.
Are they me, though? But kind of.
Really? She also has Mercedes-Benz S-Class.
Right. Then she has a Mercedes-Maybach S650.
Then there's the Cadillac Escalade.
Yeah. Special occasions. Okay. Now we're into sports cars.
Audi R8.
Oh, all right.
Okay.
It does say right here, a high performance super car.
This is V8.
You'll get her.
Okay. Okay. Now she also has a Ferrari 458 Italia.
Yeah.
Is it sexy?
Italian stallion?
Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. I'm looking it up. It is. It looks fast.
Oh, that's a great question.
That's awesome. Okay, then she has a Porsche 911 Turbo.
Yeah, it needs to be higher if it's not.
Okay.
And that tracks. I know more women with Porsches.
Oh, that's the electric one?
Wow.
Okay.
Practical vehicles.
She has a Toyota Sequoia.
She has a Chevy, which we hope is like 150. Yeah. It'll run that long.
Chevy Silverado, her first car, which she still keeps.
And then the Nissan Quashquai. That's Q-A-S-H-Q-A-I. She has that.
She has it.
No, she just loves it.
Okay, but actually, according to this other site, her very first car is a pink truck. That's very cute. Another site has a little bit of a different opinion on what she has, but a lot of these are crossing over. So I feel good about that.
The Ferrari, the Porsche, they're all on here. Okay, good. The Sequoia, the AMG, the Nissan Quashquai.
Mm-hmm.
I hope she arrives in it. That would be great. And she probably will because it says the everyday humble choice. Oh. It's her latest acquisition. She can move her discreetly.
In London. It says in London specifically.
Yeah. But don't go looking for, I know, don't go looking for her quash quies and try to find her. She's just trying to live. She's just trying to be.
You can design something for her. You've been designing cars with AI.
That's fun.
Okay, do players get a cut of their jersey sales? Yes, NFL players receive a cut of their jersey sales. Players receive royalties based on how many of their jerseys have sold. These royalties come from group licensing deals negotiated through the NFL.
So, that's cool. Action Park, I don't believe, is the... park based on Adventureland because it says Adventureland is based on the real life Adventureland Park in Farmingdale, New York.
Action Park is in New Jersey.
Oh, five to 10 victims daily.
Emergency room.
Yeah. Maybe that's what it was all about.
Yeah, that was a great episode.
And all I got was this little t-shirt.
Well, that's it for Ben and David. They were awesome.
Really fun.
Yeah, me too.
Oh, fun.
Love you.
Oh.
No.
Ohio State. We're going to keep that in because of you coming through.
That's awesome.
The 14th is our actual anniversary of the first episode out. Our first recording, I don't know.
Which turned into arguing about just everything.
Everyone should listen to the Costco episode and be reminded what a beautifully run business.
That's a good answer.
Very ethical. Lots of integrity. And it's such a good company. And now I'm obsessed with it.
I got to listen to every single one of these.
Exactly.
I'm not going to take credit for that. It was my idea to bring them in to do an episode for us, and then they brilliantly came up with that.
Of course, I threw out the row.
No, but you know, they have a great episode on Taylor Swift. Oh, yeah.
That's probably right. She should.
I mean, we will be interjecting because we can't help ourselves.
It's pretty sexy.
It's not passionate.
Two sides of the same coin, justice and revenge.
Can we, sorry, give a little, like, what is civil litigation compared to other kinds?
But I know what you mean. You're saying by calling it justice, we have a moral high ground to it. It then becomes a good positive thing when you replace it with revenge. That does have a negative connotation to it. And it is the same thing.
Hi.
I've read that. What does that even mean?
Very.
Well, it becomes about not solving the problem, but just getting your information out.
Okay, let's say, yeah, he's late. Eight days in a row. But does this bother you? I don't love it.
What's a current grievance? I have one. Okay, so my apartment building currently is so disgusting. This is so annoying. Nothing of mine is turned on. I'm not running any water or anything. But randomly, there'll be like soapy water, weird stuff coming up out. of the tub into my tub. Also, it happened in the laundry room and it flooded the laundry room. It's been an ongoing thing.
And I've had to say over and over again, this is unacceptable. This needs to stop now. Fix it. They keep sending in a plumber. The plumber's like, it's not clogged. I'm like, I know clearly that's not what's going on here. What are we going to do? So that's my grievance.
Not.
Totally disrespected. I pay money to live here and I feel that this is the basic level of care and hygiene that should be handled by the landlord quickly. So it's very annoying.
Okay.
Monica has complained about some water leaking into her building. She showed me pictures. It looks bad. I've sent the plumber in multiple times. The plumber doesn't know what's wrong. He's snaked the drain and it's still happening. She's still complaining about it, but there's not much more I can do.
I understand that there's a lot on her plate. She's just a person. She's not, you know, a machine. She can't just make sure something gets done because I want it done fast. And unfortunately, I do think it is her job to make sure that the building is run up to code. So though I have compassion for her, I would still like the thing to be done properly.
I think she's guilty. I do think that, objectively.
Well, I feel bad for her, which is why I think I can really do this objectively to some extent. I don't think she's a bad person.
The son or father.
This part's hard. I definitely don't want her to get fired. So I'm not sentencing her with that.
That's funny. That doesn't even cross my mind.
Yeah, slightly different.
I don't have that. And I wouldn't want to sentence her with that. Okay. She don't want her to have the phone. I think I just say, oh, well.
And I guess the sentence part is interesting because even though I still at the end, I'm like, yes, I think she is guilty of negligence as a landlord. But when it comes to sentencing, do I think that's worth a sentence? It makes you start doing that. Like, is that really worth a punishment? No.
Correct.
Be his own person.
The manifesto element of this? Yes, like a manifesto.
I don't know if we're equipped to even talk about this, but murder-suicide stuff, a lot with these mass shootings, they kill themselves. Do we think that's meant to happen? Or do you think after they shoot everyone, the prefrontal cortex comes online and they're like, oh no, and then they kill themselves?
Or do we think it is part of this whole, like, I'm seeking revenge, but I know part of that means that I should die too? Do we know any of this?
A lot of integrity over there.
Oh, my God. If GLP-1s can fix this. Oh, my God.
We're not saying that.
It's so true.
We hope you enjoyed this episode. Unfortunately, they made some mistakes.
What is it?
Okay.
Be like, who the fuck?
A long time. It's been a minute since I booty bumped.
No, no. No, probably Callie's wedding was the last time.
Because it's like my college friends back together. We were really, we were showing up her LA friends.
Ah, yeah. And it was cool. Shaming them.
We were shaming them. We are on our ass on the ground, dropping it. We were dropping it like it's hot.
People were throwing up and rallying.
No. Okay, that would have been how you know you really... That's when you're an adult, you know, like, that's degrading.
It's not been too long.
It's very culty of you, what you just did, where it's like, no, that bad reaction you had, that's going to hurt you. Like, let's reframe and make it a positive thing. Yeah. Even though...
No, even though what you're doing is loud.
Yeah, if I'm not choosing to put myself in a situation to have loud sound, I don't want it.
Okay. You think all of a sudden?
For the last 12 years, I've been telling you I will not be in your cult.
It's not real gold.
It is actually kind of heavy. Maybe it's gold. It's not. But it's a great necklace. I got it from Sarah Henler.
Who I love. But no, it's quite reasonably priced. Very reasonably priced. Less than $200. Okay.
I recently, I bought some pants from The Gap.
My mom and I both bought them. We bought matching pants.
Yeah, when I was home.
I was. There's an outdoor mall. Obviously, that's what I'm talking about at home. Yeah. Pretty much my mom and I go from outdoor mall to outdoor mall.
It's so fun.
Well, there's no food court. There's restaurants. Yeah, my mom and I went to one outdoor mall called The Forum. Then we went to another outdoor mall called Avalon. And, you know, we stopped at one of the places and we got some snacks and I had a wine. And we keep shopping, shopping. Then my dad and my brother came to meet us. We had dinner.
No, I don't.
I don't ever feel judged by them.
That's really nice.
If anything, unfortunately, there's judgment going the opposite way. That's right, yeah. And I know it's all about me, of course. It's not about them. My judgments are not about them. But, you know, I do worry sometimes. Sometimes I worry.
About?
Like my judgments come out of worry. And I guess.
So do theirs.
So does everyone's.
Everyone's judgments come out of worry.
Okay.
Interesting.
But you love to air grievances.
Well, I think we, well, I guess is how are we defining complaining? Because yeah, I think we talk about things we think are problems in a way that that's complaining. That's complaining about the world. And I think it's a good thing.
Hmm. What's the difference? Give an example of complaining, like verbally, and then an example of if you can.
I see. Yes. Okay. Yep.
Sure, great. And objecting, because I think it's okay to complain about things you think are wrong morally.
I see.
Okay, I see that. Yeah, there's a difference for sure. Okay, so no complaining.
Okay.
All right. We love good tips.
That was probably, they probably did it on purpose. So it's like you want more, but you can't have more.
Yeah.
Well, I find that complicated. I think.
Well, we're not going to have a show if we don't have opinions.
So we are to have opinions.
When I grew up, we were taught to have a critical opinion of things.
It was in class. Like, read a thing and then figure out with real points what your opinion is on it.
Critical thinking.
I think that's a hard one for me because I find that to be a virtue. Unless you're just shoving your opinion on people who don't need it, care about it.
Ask for it.
It's irrelevant. It's just you trying to have a voice for no reason. Yes, it's slippery, but I also think it's okay to take in all the information and
It's hard for me. That's very hard for me too. I actually, you know what? I just had to apologize to someone recently because of this very thing. It's weird that you're bringing it up. I'm really, I'm embarrassed that I behaved this way. So I want to start by saying that. And I did apologize.
No.
I was totally sober.
I was with Jess.
And we were on a big adventure one day. Yeah. We decided we were going to go on what we call walkies, which is just like a long ass walk. And we're stopping at stores and it's fun.
Yes. We're on vacation in L.A.
It's very fun. So we start and we go to some stores and he's buying some, you know, I kind of brought shopping into his life.
He's starting to like actually not just enjoy it with me, but he'll be like, oh, I do want to go to that store and see what they have. I want to do this. Anyway, so we're, you know, we're bopping in places. We're both buying stuff. So we've already bought multiple things. Obviously, Jess and I know each other really, really well.
And not only am I reading between the lines, but there's explicit things stated between the two of us. Like, I'm worried about this or I'm worried about this. X, Y, and Z. Okay? So we're walking. We're buying. It's exciting. We're getting great items.
And then we decide we're going to walk to Echo Park. Now, for people who don't know, that's like... Far. It's not that far.
I didn't look at the mileage, but from where we were, which was already Sunset Junction.
It was an additional 45 minutes.
Okay, but we decide we're going to do it, but we'll stop in stores. So we're going. We go into a store, a men's store, and... He is like looking at some tops. I think they're great. He's going to try them on. And, you know, he puts one on and I was like, oh, it's great. I love it. It's great. And he was like, oh, I don't know. I don't know about this like collar thing.
And I was like, well, if you don't, if it's going to like bother you every time you see it, then, you know, that's not a good idea. But I think it looks great. He took it off. He put on the other shirt, the same shirt, but different color.
Color.
Same exact shirt. And I was like, well, I like the other color better. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, yeah, me too. Then we go to check out and he gives, he buys both.
And I was like, you're buying both? And he was like, well, yeah. And I was like, but it's the same color. I was like, it's the same. You don't need both. And I said it like that. And he was like, well. And he bought it. He didn't change his mind, which I'm glad about. And I was like, I mean, it's kind of like a specific shirt. Like, it's not a white tee and a black tee. It's specific.
So you don't really need two of the same thing.
Okay, so then that's over.
But then after, I was like, who am I to tell him he doesn't need two of the same shirt? Like, even if that is my opinion...
Right. If it's my opinion that no one needs to have the same shirt or whatever, that is not my place to put on anyone.
I'm not a mean person. girl well just you had to apologize i did because so my thought was oh you hurt his feelings i didn't hurt his feelings but i did make him self-conscious exactly i made him self-conscious second guess himself yeah and that's mean like i i didn't i didn't mean it with ill intent i i meant it I meant it honestly as like... An experienced shopper.
I'm like, I know about shopping.
You know, you'll probably just have to return it and that's going to be a pain. Like, I know how this goes. Also, like, if you ever express any, like, money troubles and you're spending and I know you don't, like, that's a useless spend. But none of it's my business.
None of it is my business. And that's why I had to apologize. Because I guess that's for me. Like, in apologies... I really, I have to be sorry. Like, I'm not just going to say, oh, I'm sorry.
I don't want to be doing in life. And I'm sorry I did it to you. And I'm not going to do it again. I'm going to try not to do it.
Anyway.
Well, I'm Buddhist.
Uh-huh. In your kitchen.
Okay.
They'll burn their finger.
You're controlling them.
I know.
No, I agree. I agree. But also, now, what about this? The fingers burnt, right?
And then for the next two hours, this did not happen with me either. But what if for the next two, three hours, there are complaints about the burnt finger?
Right. Then what? Because that's when I'm like, I don't want to hear it.
Because you did this.
Yeah. So I don't want to hear it. I'm a very much I don't want to hear it girl.
And if I'm... But if you're complaining about it to other people for hours... You shouldn't.
I kind of think so.
I think you can complain or be like, my finger really hurts. I really should. At that point, I think it's on you to be like, I guess I shouldn't have touched that hot pan.
Yeah, you did the right thing.
Yeah. But do you think some... Okay. Now, do you think in general, some people are better decision makers than others?
I know. That's how I feel.
So is it... If you consider yourself a pretty good decision maker.
Yes.
So when you're around people who you don't feel are very good decision makers and they're making decisions.
It's so hard when you see it's causing them pain or distress.
Yes, I know.
It's just hard when you see people get very... Stuck or fixated on something that is... I mean.
You want the best for them. And it's, to me, feels like it's easy to just say, hey, just so you know, like, I'm seeing this. Like, I think there are nice ways of doing it. Not like, well, you shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have touched the pan. Like, I think there are some half manipulative ways of doing it. Like saying, like, oh, I know that happened to me. When I was six.
When I was, when I was 20, actually, I'm way later. I did that and I got this crazy burn and then I started using tongs.
You could do that.
Interesting.
Well, what do you mean? Like you think you're Zen and I'm not.
It's common, very common, yeah.
I don't know. I mean, sure, age is part of it. But I think us not seeing eye to eye always is... We have different personalities and different experiences in life.
Exactly.
Yeah. One of them is 12 years.
But I don't, I guess I'm like, yeah.
You said I'm not the finish line.
Definitely different. But I'm also not 20. So I don't know if we're that far off.
Yeah.
Right. I hope.
I mean, the goal is to be changing.
As a 50-year-old, yeah.
You're a 37-year-old listening to you now.
Sure, probably.
Where did that come from? Where did this train of thought come from?
But did something happen in this conversation that made you say that? That it felt like it came out of nowhere?
Yeah.
You've come to that conclusion.
Yeah. But I don't...
Well, yeah, because they have a lot of time ahead. There's more reason to, honestly, if you're a 50-year-old or a six, you know, the older we get, the less time there is to make that, those changes. So I do think there is like, what's the, what is the point of telling someone my age how to behave or older than my parents, right? Like they're them. They are them at this point.
Well, I think I do know that that was the point of my story is that I caught it after. I didn't catch it, but I recognize that's not who I want to be.
Yeah.
So all I can do is try not to do it.
I don't think anyone, again, you know, minus some real Buddhists who've devoted their whole life to it and live in a monastery and stuff. I don't think... regular people can achieve all those things. I think you can get close. I think when you're in distress or torment, you can try to like bring in those things so that you feel relief and better. But on a day to day. Yeah, I doubt it. All right.
Well, let's get into some facts.
James Kimmel Jr. Facts. So watch complications.
Watch complications are features or functions added to a timepiece beyond its basic timekeeping function. They can range from simple displays like the date or day of the week to more complex mechanisms like chronographs or perpetual calendars. Essentially, anything on a watch that isn't directly related to telling time is considered a complication. Okay. Let's see.
But hold on. I want to give some more. Chronograph, a stopwatch function allowing the measurement of elapsed time. Moon phase, a display that indicates the current phase of the moon. Perpetual calendar, a mechanism that automatically adjusts for leap years, month lengths, and other date irregularities.
Whoa.
Turbulent, a rotating cage that houses the escapement and balance wheel designed to counteract the effects of gravity on a watch's accuracy. Then we have dual time zone. We have minute repeater, a complication that strikes the hour and a half hour on demand using a series of symbols or gongs.
Power reserve indicator indicates the amount of time a mechanical watch will continue to run on a single winding.
Thank you. Alarm, a function that allows the watch to sound an alarm at a specific time. Okay, now you're looking up the most complications. What did you find?
It's also called, it's horology.
Well, no, yeah, this says the watch with the most complications is the Franck Muller Ternitas Megafor, boasting 36 complications, but it features 1,483 components and 23 indications via 18 hands and five discs.
Oh, and it says that one holds the record for the most complications. Other manufacturers like the one you just said, Vacheron, Constantine. 63 complications. Yes, 63, including a Chinese perpetual calendar.
Oh, my goodness. Wow.
Yeah. What an interesting mind.
It equals value to me because it is made with care.
Things that are detailed like that, that are made with such care, I do appreciate.
It does? What does it have?
Does it have the date?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, obviously. It only has one complication.
Oh, that's cool.
Nice.
Oh, cool.
Okay. I looked up what's currently in the DSM for addiction.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th Edition classifies substance use disorders, SUDs, as follows. Alcohol use disorder. Caffeine use disorder. Even though now they should remove that.
Eric Topol told us we could drink it.
Cannabis use disorder. Hallucinogen use disorder, inhalant use disorder, opioid use disorder, sedative hypnotic use disorder, stimulant use disorder, tobacco use disorder.
Includes a category for gambling. No rage.
No rage yet. No shopping.
That'll probably get added. The 11 criteria that reflect impaired control, physical dependence, and social problems, they are
taking more of the substance than intended or using it for longer than intended, persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance abuse, spending a great deal of time obtaining, using, or recovering from substance use, neglecting major role obligations due to substance use, continuing to use despite substance-related problems, legal, social, occupational,
Tolerance, needing more of the substance to achieve the desired effect. Withdrawal symptoms when not using the substance. Craving for the substance. Using in risky situations. Example, driving while intoxicated. Having substance-related legal problems. Those add up.
I knew you were going to say that.
I knew you were going to say that.
I don't know.
You were so excited to.
How many did you have?
I don't know. Yeah, let's see. Taking more of the substance than intended. No, but using it for longer than intended. Probably yes. Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use. Probably yes. Spending a great deal of time obtaining, using, or recovering from substance use. I wonder what a great deal means.
Yeah. I don't know what we would say for that.
I guess. I guess. But always it's in conjunction with other things, so it feels hard to do that.
Exactly. Or even like. In my house.
Yeah. So that's harder. Yeah. Tolerance. Needing more of the substance. Yes and no. I feel like if I take one day off, I'm already like back.
But I mean, sure. Probably. Withdrawal symptoms when not using the substance. Yeah. I don't think so, but I guess I don't know what they would be.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Again, depends on what I'm doing. Like if I'm playing a game somewhere, no.
If I'm just like white, yeah, if I'm like just like white knuckling, it's like I really can't drink.
Yeah.
Oh, maybe. Maybe. Craving for the substance, yes. I'm grumpy now. Had nothing to do with the alcohol. I'm not grumpy. I'm great. But I do want to warn you. Yeah. I do want to warn you, and I think it's only nice. Okay, sorry, real quick. Having substance-related legal problems, no. No.
Absolutely not. I do want to warn you that next week I will be PMSing.
And so will Kristen.
And probably Anna. Anna is always nice to you, though.
I know, but you're still the boss.
I know. But you're the boss.
I'm married to her boss. You can be scary.
If you're upset, no one wants to upset you.
I need you to just accept that. Oh, I do. Okay. Because it's not like.
When you get angry, it really doesn't feel good. And in a way that when sometimes when other people get angry, it's kind of like, whatever. Like, I don't know. I don't know why that is.
But it is painful when you're angry at someone, I think, more than others. Oh, yeah. And that's just your power. Okay.
You should just take that and be grateful. Anyway, so I guess I have it.
But again, it's not necessarily about like who you are towards the person. It can be just like... You know someone has a side. Yeah. Or like what they've seen. I mean, she's been around you in lots of working situations.
Yeah.
And also like if you're unhappy on a set or with something like that's often made clear. Uh-huh. You know, I wouldn't say this isn't a negative thing, but I don't think I would say like you're easy breezy.
Is that a surprise?
Oh, I'm not saying you're not fun.
Well, you... You do. When you're mad, you do.
Oh, maybe not on a set. Sorry. It's fine.
We've had moments, but that's much different.
That's a more personal, you know, of course, that's different. And I'm sure you and Kristen have had...
I mean, that is what I was about to say. It kind of seems like I should evaluate.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I know.
And what is interesting is, I mean, other than the legal problem thing, well, I guess it's continuing to, despite substance-related problems, social, I guess maybe that's the one. But it's not that focused on the consequences.
Because to me, that's sort of how I evaluate it.
And... But that's not really that big of a part of the DSM.
But I think maybe it's also worth considering sobriety if you're like, I'm too attached to this thing or I'm too dependent on it or it's become such a habit.
Yeah.
thing to rely on for motivation yeah i think that takes time which may so maybe eventually i'll let you know okay if i stop um just like wine bars and they're so cute and and cozy martinis are cute yeah yeah oh i get it maybe i should work on like my dependence on cuteness
Okay. This one's unfortunate. Oh, oh, oh. Yay. I wrote down update on the bath and I didn't know what I was taught. I didn't. I was like, what does that mean? But I just remember the bath has been fixed.
I believe so.
So the plumber came and he said, you know, it's draining. And I was like, I know that's not the problem. I don't know what the problem is. It doesn't seem like it has to do with my apartment.
And he said, okay, it's probably a pipe thing. And so they scheduled a time. I was out of town, actually. They scheduled a time to replace the pipe or do something with the pipe.
Yeah. And so far, so good.
But that's great.
And I want to just be clear. My landlord's great.
She's nice. She's a nice person. Yeah. And I have no problems with her. It just was bumming me out that that was a gross thing happening.
Yeah, that's true. Okay, let's see. Oh, I looked up where blood feuds are prominent.
Albania.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank God.
Yeah, man, there are different ways of living growing up.
What?
But did he?
But then did he beat him up, kill him after? What?
Oh, my God. That's so scary.
Wow, yeah.
Okay, back to blood feuds.
Albania, South Caucasus? South Caucasus?
Yeah. Yeah. Chechnya.
Okay. In the U.S., Appalachian Mountains. In the Old West, Hartfield-McCoy feud. Hartfield-McCoy. Oh, sorry. Hartfield-McCoy feud. Okay. And then in the Philippines, parts of Greece and Croatia.
Yep.
It was really interesting and important.
All right. Well, that's it for James Kimmel Jr. Revenge.
Me too. And I hope it gets everyone thinking because we have such quick triggers.
I know. On a societal level.
Unless like it can be in schools.
curriculum but we can't even i mean no like we can't even get state to state county to county to agree on what should be taught in school so right i highly doubt this is an option so just listen to this episode and pass it along share it yeah and you're up against like family tradition like my family you're a hero when you stick up for your family member in my family you become legend status
Yeah, it's a lot. It can be practiced though.
All right.
Whoa.
Yeah. Revenge.
Some more than others.
But he also gives some prescriptive ways of trying to mitigate that.
Which is great.
There wasn't a consistency there. You saw everything go away. So I can imagine that makes you feel like anything can go away at any moment.
I know, but the problem is you get the bicycle, and then it doesn't work. No, exactly. It doesn't work. It's the fantasy of Will. Or you go skiing, and it doesn't work. Then you're like, well, now what?
You manifested that.
Oh my God.
And how did that go? You guys were outside for a few minutes. Did you like them?
Okay. She's from Scotland.
And a helmet.
So your kids, there's no question, but they have to try this.
Now she's moved on to her mother's dream. She's doing musical theater.
It looks like confidence.
He's a worthy crush. Oh, my God. He was fantastic. He had such a fun personality. I was very surprised.
Yeah, exactly. I will say with the privilege thing, though, I think privilege is not the right word. I mean, it's the easy thing that's been spread around, but it's more benefit of the doubt. It's like white benefit of the doubt. really is what it is.
Yeah, I got a present three years in.
You say that all the time about not wanting models, but you did try it. Oh yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's a man to man thing.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, he's very fashionable.
Yeah, it is.
God, isn't it funny though? You can be the absolute best at what they do. The top of their field. They're both the best ever statistically. They're phenoms. And yet they want to be the best at something else. Like we are not satisfied as people.
Was your answer happiness or was it success?
You're like, me too.
Can we give some context for people who don't know?
Yeah, because there's all these hot boys driving around.
It's part of it for sure. It doesn't hurt. It's definitely part of it.
Louis is gorgeous. They're all gorgeous.
The women do. They're like, that's my guy. That's my guy.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Also, that show is just so well done. Yeah. They really get you invested.
Oh, my God.
He's not human. He's like, it's a different thing. No, it's a deity.
But yeah, other than that, that's sort of where it ends.
Great ending. That's right. That was great.
So fun.
No, you're a star.
No, it was great. It's great.
You already did, though.
That's so true. You have the whole story.
Good morning.
Yeah, it's officially festive time.
Lowest you've ever been. I mean, I took a shower.
Normally that wakes me up, but yeah, it's early for the listener.
It's nine. That doesn't feel that, that doesn't sound that early.
On a holiday.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We were out and up late.
What time did I leave? Like 10? I think I left around 10. And then I had a little work to do. And then I had to work on today's gift guide.
I had to do a lot at night.
I probably fell asleep at like 1230. Oh, okay.
No, I made a huge mistake yesterday. So when we were on the group chat, the girls group chat, figuring out timing for Thanksgiving.
Kristen wrote, come over around 12 and we'll eat around four.
And I read, I don't know what happened. I read that as... Come at four. Like I missed the 12 part. Oh, wow. So I thought it was arrival time was four, which I did kind of think was late. Yeah. I didn't love that choice.
Yeah. But I thought, oh, she just wants it to be fast. So, okay. And then I can't.
It's not that I was like, oh, it's bad. She wants it over fast. It was just like, oh, maybe I don't know. There's a million reasons that it could be. So I just... I just didn't want to question it. So then I planned my whole day around a four o'clock.
Yeah. So what did that mean? I had to make two dishes.
Two sets of potatoes. One sweet. One mashed. And I was editing an episode. And I had a whole plan. I was going to, like, wake up leisurely and edit this episode.
Make my things.
Laura texted and said, based on Cece, her baby's nap time, she said she'll probably be around 1. And I was like, 1? She's going to come three hours early? Yeah. What's she thinking? Because of the baby? So then I scrolled up and I saw... And at this point, it was...
Sorry, that must be a kid or my wife. Let's see which one. Feel free to answer. We also edit.
Okay. So you went into a panic.
But I got there at 230.
Oh, I hate when that happens.
Even though you knew everyone was coming.
That's funny because. I mean, I guess it's the same thing you're thinking about me reading Kristen's text, but that feels outrageous to me because the only people there were our friends. So no one would ever, no one thinks like that when it's just the pod. If it was a random party, yes.
This is the problem with the girls only being on the text.
Yeah. And do you think most friend groups it's like that? It's just the women chitter chattering. Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, I love that. You're keeping it up.
You make the decision for the group.
That's fine. There's two ways of being.
Well, that makes sense.
No. For Thanksgiving.
No, she has to tell us because we're all cooking stuff.
What'd you cook? Shitty biscuits.
Like four probably.
Yeah.
You cook the most in your house. Yeah. But everyone was making a lot of things and you have to plan it time-wise because of oven times. Do you need to arrive with it hot? You have to know what time dinner is starting.
It's fine. It's all fine. Yeah, it's the way it's supposed to be, really.
Uh-uh.
Well, that's funny because on a previous Fightless Bird, we did talk about, like, arrival times and being late and parties.
Because David was acknowledging, oh, it looks like in America people arrive late.
Think about any party, like a Halloween party. You don't go at the time.
But then people will come at 11. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, technically, I was actually an hour and a half early.
Two and a half hours late to the hang time. Yeah.
That's how we normally do. We just roll in and roll out.
Were you sitting on the couch like,
Beautiful Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
I can guess yours. You played volleyball.
Thanksgiving.
Yeah, that's so cute.
Yeah, and acting like you're a part of it.
Yeah. Yeah. My favorite was secret turkey. Secret. That's always so lovely.
It is. It's getting out of control.
Ryan made a knife.
Yeah.
My do not disturb was on. And guess who's changed all her ways?
Because you say one mean thing, one critical thing.
Oh God.
She made such a cute one.
Yeah. These presents took forever. Yeah.
I did. I made it. No, to Amy.
Yes. I made one.
So I bought these little boxes.
I purchased the cardboard boxes.
Amazon Prime.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
So I assembled all of them and then I made them into a Christmas tree shape.
A lot of them are made into Christmas tree shapes. Not all. Some of them are rectangles, but I wanted to make it festive. And so I drew on each one. I drew like the number and I drew all over each box. And after the third box, I thought, I am not going to make it. I can't do it.
Yeah, it was huge. It didn't fit in a trash bag.
That wasn't a cheat. That was, I knew you would think that. Oh my God.
I actually anticipated Eric was going to say this out loud.
You didn't even let me finish. Okay. The reason the bottom is just the bottom row 22, 23, 24 was out of brown marker and it just said it. But that's because that's the stump.
That's the stump. The rest is the tree. The top had a star on it.
Because you're, oh my God, you're so gaslighting. You're like, I see you phoned it in. I don't know why you're upset about that.
That was the stump.
Yeah.
And after the third one, I thought, I can't do this anymore. This is...
And then I thought, this is for Amy. She's an angel. She's a true angel on earth. Okay. She deserves this. So it was a five-day project.
Yeah, you didn't. I did not.
It wasn't black.
Anyway, I glued all the boxes together.
I had to.
I tried Elmer's. It didn't work. I had to use Gorilla and Super.
Okay.
Yes. And then I glued all of that to a piece of cardboard. And then I had to X-Acto knife around it.
I bought an X-Acto knife.
No, some of them are Postmates.
No, but I use materials I have purchased from Blick before.
Anyway, it was really fun. And then I had to fill each box up.
Yeah, everyone is.
Yeah.
Oh, these are real treats.
I'd be careful. I'd be careful with giving him that. Also, you can't ignore calls then. If Kristen calls, you can't say, oh, I didn't get it.
OK, Amy, if you're listening. No, because this is hers. It goes all the way through December. Her calendar. So Amy is listening because she's, as I said, an angel. She listens to everything. So please cover your ears. Turn this off.
Fast forward.
OK, right.
It is. Okay. So both of you fast forward a couple minutes. So yeah, there's like, well, she opened one. We let her open one. It was a sheep ornament.
I got her like a little lip, cute little like lipstick, some measuring spoons. Oh, fun.
Well, every other one is a real present. Okay. There's like a really cute wine.
Two teas. Oh. Fancy teas.
Yeah, she has a tea drawer, so I figured she could make her tea drawer cute.
It took a really long time. Plus then the purchases, plus the, yeah, it was an adventure.
They all did paintings.
Yeah.
Yes.
It was a collage. It was very, very, very good.
You drew a lot of things that were Matt. Matt's favorite things.
Yes.
I know. It was very cute. And you framed it.
I like that.
Wow. Wow. That's great. What a good hobby.
Uh-huh.
Yes.
Yes.
Maybe just check your time zone.
I'm having stress for everyone's time zones.
It's a very cute sweatshirt.
And everyone's seen the mouse at this. Well, not everyone, but a lot of people have seen the mouse at this point because it has appeared on my gift guide.
Oh, you did. Okay.
Did you read Substack or did you read just Instagram? Oh, you read the whole thing. Yeah. The joke about Kristen on the phone?
I don't remember. Day one was a while ago. Blowing out all of her candles. Oh, yeah.
I think it was just festive.
How'd she buy a light thing? She bought it off Amazon?
That's so cool.
That's right. It should probably go in here.
Yes.
If you missed that episode with Matthew McConaughey, that was the first time he was on.
I think that's a good idea, yeah.
Well, yeah, because I mean, I guess he'll be like for Thanksgiving. I mean, you might have to explain the whole thing.
You would love it. And I think he would love it.
Rob put a box by my head.
I don't know.
Wait. What? Oh, my God. Sweet. Stop.
She made this?
Celebs on sandwiches. This is so flattering.
And it's an Emily burger?
Oh, my God.
You told them that, right? Yeah, that was perfect.
That my mouth looks big?
I could see that. I actually think it's pretty good. It's outrageously good. Like accurate.
I mean, I look like her. This is so flattering. Celebs on Sandwiches.
I mean, I've got gifted this a few times to people. It was on my, I think, original gift guide, Celebs on Sandwiches. My original.
Wow, how sweet. Okay, well, that's really flattering. Thank you so much on sandwiches.
Yeah, she did.
She did.
It's incredible. It's gorgeous.
Yeah, it was beautiful.
I think this should live here.
With yours.
I think it's fine.
I have a lot of art.
So it's not- It'll get lost in the shelf. It's not that the only art I have is- We have a whole wall that's just you. Like you did.
Yeah. When you lived alone.
It's okay.
It happened. I know.
I know. I didn't have a family or anything. So I feel like you're projecting a little bit of your own.
So this is going to live here. Yeah.
How sweet.
Okay, well, yeah, Thanksgiving was a big hit. I'm really thankful to our arm cherry. I mean, Thanksgiving is in the past now, but I'm still thankful to our listeners, our beautiful arm cherries. Me too, me too. We're so lucky. And this is for Toto.
You wanted to talk about Macs.
And I told you to wait till this week because Toto.
That's crazy.
Wow.
Oh, so cool. Congratulations to Max. Congratulations to Toto for being.
Nice.
Also, I love Toto. Absolutely loved him. He was such a, he was so much more playful than I anticipated.
And I enjoyed him so much. So now I'm for team, because now that Danny isn't on racing, I don't have anyone to root for. So now I root for Mercedes because of Toto.
So I'm going to buy a hat. It also makes sense.
No, I don't. Okay. Now some facts. He brought up Nikki Lauda.
It's a hard word to say or a hard name to pronounce. Lauda.
D-A. It's spelled correctly. It's just like, it seems like you're being pretentious, but you're not.
Right.
Okay, he is Austrian.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Niki Lauda.
No, we already did.
Nikki Lauda.
It wasn't better the second time. It was great the first time.
Oh, my God. Okay. Now, he competed in Formula One from 1971 to 1979 and from 1982 to 1985. He won three Formula One Drivers' Championship titles and at the time of his retirement held the record for most podium finishes, 54. He remains the only driver to have won a World Drivers' Championship with both Ferrari and McLaren and won 25 Grand Prixs across 13 seasons.
It's amazing.
Yeah. He's passed. He passed in 2019. He died in his sleep at 70, where he had been undergoing kidney dialysis. He had experienced a period of ill health exacerbated by his lung injuries from the 1976 accident. He had a double lung transplant the previous year and kidney transplants in 97 and 2015. His body really went through it.
Did you just kiss your hand?
Did you just kiss your hand?
Oh.
Will you see people with that?
But I know, I know.
You'd rather smell something?
I understand. I do. I do. It's not. Well, it's funny to me that you'd rather smell it because I think what's gross is I do think it has a smell.
Yeah. All right. So he was 70 and, but he lived, he lived a life doing what he loved. Oh, when I thought you were kissing, I thought you were giving him like.
Yeah, exactly.
I do too. Yeah. But I feel really, can you knock on wood? Because I feel like we shouldn't have just done that a few times.
Yeah. He made a portrait of Cece out of candy.
It was.
Because he used white saltwater taffy for the face.
But there was also a resemblance to her. I know. It was... It was pretty good.
No, it wasn't.
I know, but it wasn't. It was a sweet portrait made of candy by Eric, and he put a lot of time into it.
The person has to curse it. Eric didn't curse it. That's how spirits work.
Okay. Speaking of, Detroit versus Austria homicides. The city, city of Detroit finished 2023 with 252 homicides, which is the fewest recorded since 1966. We like that. That's great. Great trajectory.
Now, there isn't any information about Austria in 2023, but there is 2017. There probably hasn't been a murder since 17. Exactly. There were 54 intentional homicides in Austria.
In the whole country in 2017. Although now I'm looking at the word intentional.
What about if you're shooting and hunting, if you're hunting in Detroit and you, not a lot of, I know, but that would count if you accidentally killed someone.
It would be accidental. No, I know. But I'm saying in the Detroit one doesn't say intentional. So maybe they're including accidentals.
Isle of Man.
Really?
All right. Okay. Isle of Man is a self-governing British crown dependency in the Irish Sea between England and Ireland. And then, yes, it has this big race that is a big deal, annual cross-country motorcycle race.
Well, that's it for Toto. He was lovely and I really, really enjoyed him.
Yes.
Sometimes they have like 20% offs in certain stores. We go to Brownwood Country Mart and it's very, very, very fun. And I'm so excited to go do that with her.
Just a few. And then we'll come back and then we're going to go to a Rolling Greens, the plant store and get some Christmassy items too.
No, no. We don't always drink.
No. We'll probably get coffee and then we get lunch. So when we get lunch, sometimes there's wine at lunch, but it's not like, we're not like carrying around flasks. Oh, you're not?
No, but I'm excited for that. And then tomorrow is pig day. I get my Christmas tree.
It's my favorite stretch of the year.
I'm excited. And it's sort of a ding, ding, ding because it's like F1. Oh. F1 race is kind of like this stretch of the year. Final lap.
Also, on my gift guide that I put out today, I included an F1 coffee table book.
F1, the impossible. No, no.
The little prince.
My, all of them, each gift guide this year, there are five of them.
Correct.
No, the first one was the time traveler's wife.
Oh, sure.
Then it was Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, my favorite book. Those are more mundane items. Uh-huh.
Well, it's about this, these gamers, but the title to me represents like, it's just day after day after day. Okay. So it's mundane items. Then it was for Little Fires Everywhere. That was a candle theme. Yes. And today was Little Prince.
Tomorrow, do you want to hear? Lord of the Rings.
Next year. Oh, okay. I was only five days. Well, sure. Go ahead. Let's see.
It would be armchair themed.
Mice and men. So it would have our holiday sweater on it. It would have celebs on sandwiches.
It would have ember mugs.
Oh, so I almost put salty sea dog mugs, but they're sold out and it felt uncomfortable. Well, it's like a waste.
I did put a candle on that's always sold out too, but I had to.
Best boy statues.
And one of the gifts for that will also be Bax cashmere sweater. That's a long game. It's like they sign up and they get it in 50 years. So I did it.
It is getting smaller. I know. You need to add some.
Okay. Yeah.
Yay.
Love you.
Well, you're mourning twice. First, you mourn them with the diagnosis, but they're dead essentially before they're dead because they changed completely.
It's hard to deal with. They've been gone for a while. Yeah.
I know.
Well, in the meantime, Herman's working on it.
Oh, my God.
It is. And our frontal lobes aren't even developed until 25, so it takes us 25 years.
I'm glad that you allowed it because we all got to learn.
Aww.
Or you become a tech. Bro.
That's working out pretty well for a lot of them, actually.
Dax is getting a new tattoo, and Rob is.
I don't know enough about these types of things.
Wow, that is cool. Isn't that cool?
I'm not lazy.
100%.
Is it because they are expending so much energy that the body is figuring out a way to conserve the oxygen?
Thank you.
Who?
Thank you.
Is some of it, though, do we think chicken or the egg a little bit? At this point, I think if you're in certain parts of the country, you don't want to be associated with liberal elite institutions. We've created it as like us, them.
,.
Hermann, did you make him up?
It is.
Okay, wonderful. This is great.
Yeah. I want to see what's changed.
It's a stress thing.
Like around 47 or 48, which is earlier than.
Because the numbers are exactly. You won.
Really good name. A really cool guy.
There's a thing about everything being natural and non-toxic.
But a lot of people really think that it causes the person to change. I know someone who is an anti-vaxxer and they were describing seeing someone get vaccinated. And the way they were describing it, they were like, I saw a shift in their eyes. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. They were smiling. No, it was wild. And I believe that that's what they saw in their head. That's fair. I don't know how to tell someone like, no, you didn't.
Your reality is fine, but when it starts impacting other people's realities, that's where I think we have to say no.
Hermium.
So that's close, but not exactly.
Yeah, it's really cool.
But yesterday, the weather was awful. Top tier, gorgeous. And I was exhausted.
Oh, that wasn't it?
Oh, I thought just the mention of the boat was mechanical.
Wow. Okay. Can't wait.
But I want to talk about my toilet.
So my plumber is at my house doing some repairs. Now, I had to leave in the middle. And of course, I'm... That's a tricky sitch. It's a tricky sitch. What do you think about that?
It's not ideal, right?
Either do I. And he's a very nice man.
No, he's come over before. He's like the building plumber.
I'm not too worried. I just, you know, it is weird to leave your apartment or house and leave a stranger in there.
Yeah.
I don't think I'd recommend it, but it is what I did. And I do feel a little uneasy about it.
I don't know. There's nothing even specific. It just feels weird.
A little icky.
Yeah, icky.
Yeah. And I already have anxiety, as we talked about.
I have anxiety today.
Yeah. I heard a very sad story. Yeah. I'll tell it. I'll tell it quickly. You told that. I can tell this.
Sad that I had to listen to it. Okay. Okay. So yeah, there's a makeup influencer that I follow that I really like that she had a new makeup video. So I clicked it and it wasn't a makeup video. It was a very sad story about someone passing away and her family suddenly and unexpectedly. Very sad. So then I just started, this is how my brain works, right? Like sometimes something will happen.
It's not every time. Sometimes I'll hear a story or something will happen sort of in the zeitgeist or in the news that will spark like a spell of anxiety for me.
And, and I, And it's just like everything comes to the surface of all the bad stories I've ever heard, the scary stories, the unexpected.
Like the way life is so scary and unfair.
Thank you, me too. Yeah, so my brain is filled with a lot of bad stories right now. And then I try to tell myself like, This is what happened. You heard this story and it's why you're feeling like this and it's okay. But I'm also like, I'm pretty smart. So when I say it's okay. Yeah.
You start poking holes in it.
It's like there's a dumb, you know, when people have angel and devil on their shoulder, mine's like, I have a stupid mouse and a smart mouse.
Yeah, obviously.
And holding a little pet, like a quill.
Yeah. And the stupid mouse is just wearing undies.
And she says, the stupid mouse is like, it's Monica. It's fine. It's going to be okay. And then the smart mouse is like, what makes you think it's going to be okay? It's not okay. This is life. This is what happens.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, saying like we understand that there's differences between races.
,,,,,,, No, because she feels like that's a huge betrayal. So she feels like the hospital can't like get him arrested.
Exactly.
The husband has passed away.
Now, so then they're like, okay, maybe, but then they have to figure out a way to talk to him. And like, that's complicated. And essentially he runs away. Out of the hospital. He flees. He flees. And then Dr. Robbie, Noah Wiley, he goes chasing him.
He's so hot. And he can't find him. But he has like a list. The older mother found this list of girls he had. like written about. And so Dr. Robbie is like not, he's kind of taking it seriously.
He's kind of taking it seriously, but he's like, I don't really want to, if I go to the police and ruin this boy's life for no reason, you know, that's his whole thing.
Now, I don't want to spoil. Okay. If you're, if you're watching the pit and you're not caught up, pause right now.
We talked about it and it was really interesting.
So then they get to come to the surface.
Or fast forward. By the end. Pausing won't help you.
There's a mass shooting.
Oh, fuck.
And obviously it's, we're meant to believe it's this kid.
Of course, red herring.
Yeah. And I don't know if that's the way it's going to go, but the things you do for your kids, like, tell me, please, if, if you, I mean, yeah, it's not going to work for your kids. Cause it's like, we know them, we know them. So it's trickier, but let's, let's play it.
I think we have to play because I think everyone thinks this about their kid, that their kid is incapable of doing something really, truly horrendous.
Okay. Well, then let's say that you found a list of kids in the class.
What if it says, like, I want to kill them and it's a list?
What would you do? Um...
Yep.
Well, how fast are you going to move? That day? Because, like, I think if they have this, like, need to kill.
That's true.
Oh, I guess I don't know enough about that. To know if that's true.
We'll know about like what the police could do preemptively.
I mean, if they have a list like that, I think they could arrest them. I don't know if you can arrest them based on that. I don't know, actually. I think you could because it's premeditated.
No, it's not attempted.
Well, it is going to help protect the other kid.
I just think removing her from the situation isn't going to – so, yes, I guess it would protect those kids maybe. I mean, she might just, like, leave and go kill them. Like, how can you know for – just because you moved.
Okay, but what if then she kills at the, oh, you said you're going to do a personal.
But like, I don't think you really did. Like in real life, if you moved some states over, unless you like literally kept her in her bedroom.
She's going to be out in the world.
The therapy is going to be interesting.
I think that is a possibility.
Yeah. But I guess if I had a kid at that school... And my kid was on that list.
You then just taking her away, I don't think would cause me much peace. I think I would have more peace knowing that kid was in juvie versus their parents decided to take them a couple states over and like take it on and get therapy. Like, look.
Five states over. And also, I am conflicted because also I agree that I think like a good therapist and a different, you know, a safer environment for that kid is actually going to probably result in a better outcome for that kid.
Like, I get that. And I get, if that's my kid, I'm like, fuck that. That kid needs to be away. And like, oh, that's it.
Well, all of it's temporary. If you go and you take your kid there, again, they're not going to like live in their room for another 50 years.
Yeah. So I guess, yeah, I would feel like I think there needs to maybe be some putting away during that time.
Just to make sure.
Yeah.
I don't think I'd be able to like kill another innocent person. I don't think I could do that.
Yeah.
What if, okay. Uh-oh. What if at the grocery store. Yeah. She pulls a gun.
Oh, I hate this story. Yeah. Okay, yeah, she has a firearm. She hates the grocer.
Mainly because he...
No, there's something about his face she just really doesn't like.
Okay. And she pulls out a gun and is about to shoot him.
Yeah, I tackle her.
No, no, no. This is the grocer then pulls out a gun.
Okay. Okay.
To protect himself.
Yeah.
You're there.
Yeah.
With your own gun.
What do you do?
That one's really hard. It is, right?
Would you ever maybe shoot her in the foot?
So that like she drops her gun?
Okay, that's your plan.
But also, he is a gun to your kid. Yeah.
Sorry, you started this, I think.
Oh, yeah. Duh.
Yeah.
No, but they used that poison a lot.
Can you fucking believe that's what they... Yes, they do this.
Yeah, it's horrifying.
Yeah, me too. Yeah. But he's inflicting harm.
Now, do you think I could go to jail for saying that I want Putin dead?
But it's kind of the same as the boy saying.
Yeah.
What can they do?
Well, actually, no, not currently. Why? Our government is not anti-Putin.
Our leader who makes all the decisions.
All right. Let's do some facts.
This is for Herman.
I loved Herman. Learned a lot. Okay. Gigantopithecus.
Yes.
I have largest ape to ever live. Estimated to have stood about 10 feet tall and weighed over 500 pounds. Wow.
And when you do your time machine, you could go back and see one.
It says they're wandering the thick forests of ancient China during the last ice age. So you'd have to go back there.
You wouldn't feel scared and threatened?
Right.
Yeah.
Well, exactly.
Because you're just like, you're like a little piece of bread. Okay. Now, malnutrition. Okay. Is bad for you. Yeah. School-aged children who suffered from early childhood malnutrition have generally been found to have poor IQ levels, cognitive function, school achievement, and greater behavioral problems than matched controls and, to a lesser extent, siblings.
The disadvantages last at least until adolescence.
Yeah, at least. They're not going to get better.
Well, exactly.
Yeah.
That's when your brain is so mushy. Yeah. just trying to form is all it's not a fair planet see see that's what the smart mouse says uh-huh it's not a fair planet probably not okay that's it that was it okay that was light Quite easy.
We like Herman and we like each other.
It'll pass. It will.
Gigantopithecus? All right. Love you, pal.
He's the first one to walk on two legs.
9.8 feet.
And anthropology.
Oh, he just showed Britannica. He doesn't want that. They got their own sponsor.
Oh, no, no, no.
Not everyone knows about Lucy.
Very.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Think of a woman to want, yeah.
I think, too, probably the the way it also really shaped me was the kind of Germanic background. And I think that kind of German Jew identity, it's like you're German before you're Jewish.
You know, so where other cultures, your Jewish identity, you may lead with that. There's this, I'm probably going to botch it up, which you can fact check later, Monica.
I'll do them. I was like really authoritatively saying something. You'd be like, she's wrong.
Yeah. It's a saying of the tallest poppy gets cut off first, some version of that. And so that was, I was kind of raised with one parent who that was their, you know, don't make waves.
Sort of blend in, hide, don't try to be special. And then I had another parent who came from Russian background, but my grandmother was Russian, but raised in China. And then my mom was actually raised in Tokyo and my aunt was born there. So I have this very eclectic family background. And I think from my mom's side, it was very much about trying to find your specialness.
Yes. And so, and she lost her dad at a very early age. So she was 15. So both my parents had these big life changes at 14 and 15. My dad moving from his home country of El Salvador, where he was born to German parents and my mom losing her dad when they were living in Tokyo.
It was kind of always these conflicting messages, which really played into my self-worth and self-esteem that was low.
probably applicable to the way a lot of people are moving through the world right now. And she's just really the best.
Yes. In the last few years, it's just started to become really clear to me around a lot more brokenness that I had from much younger years, which makes sense as to why I sort of already liked a boy in kindergarten.
No, I mean, I think very much for me, it's been, especially the last few years has felt a bit like memento where I just gone, well, why would I have made those choices at that point? Like that makes no sense for a 14 year old to do that. So there must've been something before that. And then it's kind of like, okay, but I was also doing that at this age and this age and this age.
And why, why when I was 13, did I have a boyfriend that I broke up with? Because I thought it wasn't real because we didn't fight. Yeah.
I don't know. I've never thought of it in the terms of trauma before, but there's always hard stuff. Everyone has hard stuff.
Good question. Probably both. I think both. There are a lot of behaviors that I engage in, which drive me crazy. And even when I think they like, oh, I've therapized this out. I'm not going to do this again. I'm more mature. And then you catch yourself and you're like, wow, here we are again. I'm doing this thing that I thought I would never fucking do. And I'm doing it. Yay me.
But I think the other part of it that comes with that, which is interesting, and I don't know if you've experienced this, which is. There's sort of that side of you, which is sort of stays with it or is tenacious or doesn't give up, which can drive you crazy in certain situations. It's also the thing that saves you. It's also the thing that's part of your resilience.
And so that, you know, you keep showing up, you get out of bed, all of those things. And so I think that's where it's one of the things in this. Last stint with the therapist I've been with for the last five years that she's really gotten me to see if sort of trying to recognize, you know, all these things that I would beat myself up with, that there can be this side which has helped me survive.
And so I need to hold both of them. And as much as I may disdain some aspect of one thing, I have to respect the other too.
I think underneath everything with some sort of fantasy is actually hope. There's this strange alchemic combination of emotions one has when you have to survive something painful, whether that's just a breakup or world public humiliation, which is... You know, sort of the, you need a little bit of denial.
You've got to have a little bit of resilience, but then there's also the pain that you're feeling. So I do think that sometimes what can happen is that it is a self-preservation mode that you're, some part of you recognizes, I actually can't contain this much pain in this moment. I have to chop it up into little pieces now.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I did think, oh, that was really early. I don't know how it's going to hold up. But she, I just think she's worth a listen if you haven't heard it or a re-listen if you have.
But I just wanted to say that. No, no, no. I'm glad you did. I think that's that's really important. I think what becomes challenging for us in sort of public conversations is that. you'll have people using the same language for two different reasons.
And so I think you could have somebody who might come out and say whatever they're admitting to, and they're really trying to help people understand, and it's a part of a process of owning their culpability. But you can also have... Other bullshit.
Sort of like PR people.
And I think we're living in times where whether they realize it or not, people feel that they sense that they don't quite know how to identify it. But I do think we see that a lot.
Oh, I have the name of it right here. I know the show, but I haven't heard this.
Get a Spine. Oh, I thought you said spy.
I love a good spy book.
Dan Harmon.
I think so too. I've had this interesting journey and I think, no shit, right? But I think also too, as a woman, it's been very interesting to kind of observe. I think that there have been times where I felt, gosh, I still feel regret, right? I mean, I will feel regret every day for the rest of my life. I engaged in behavior, which hurt a lot of people.
Go easy on us if it's bad.
So not only my family, other people's families. Like chaos for the country. So there's so much there. And then there's also, there are times where I've also felt, do I have to keep saying I'm sorry because I'm a woman? You know, that it's sort of that men are kind of left as sort of, they say sorry once. They're like, no, no, I said sorry. I'm done. I don't need to process that.
I don't need to think about that more.
Okay. 20 last year.
But she's a special lady. So please enjoy Monica Lewinsky.
Yeah. So I bounced around a lot. I went to El Rodeo for kindergarten. Then I went to John Thomas Dye in Bel Air for a few years, then to Hawthorne. Then to Beverly, then to Bel Air Prep, which, you know, I always laugh as quintessential L.A. because it was in West Hollywood. Only in L.A., right? Bel Air Prep, fancy, you know, pinky up. And then it became some other name and now it's closed.
Exactly. That's the whole point. It's like, oh, look, I went to Bel Air Prep.
take me fancy college.
Three years. Yeah. Okay.
Exactly. I mean, it was a very, I always joke that I kind of never fit in in LA because like I'm a brunette and my boobs are real. So it's like, it's just sort of, yeah.
Oh sure. And I, yeah, let's, let's not forget I was chubby. So like I always struggled with my weight and And so particularly, you know, it's so interesting. I had thought for a really long time that I had gained all this weight. So I struggled with my weight when I was in grade school, but then I sort of got a handle on it.
And my freshman year, when my parents separated, I put on 50 pounds and I'd always for years thought it was connected to my parents getting divorced. But one of the things that I sort of came to understand in the last year several years, we didn't have language for it, but I had actually had an unwanted sexual experience when I was 14.
So which was right this summer, right before my parents had separated.
I think the psyche is so complex and so fucking clever, right?
So I think that there's this element that may have been possible, but on some very deep level, but I was still interested in boys. Right. It could be true.
And I think it was hard to unpack too, because it was the person stopped when I said stop. And, you know, it was just like the consent wasn't a thing then. And I have liked this person, but there were all sorts of things that were inappropriate about it, including like a really big age difference. And, um,
And so for many years, I was like, well, I was 19 when I lost my virginity, but technically I wasn't. And so I had always chalked up a lot of the struggles I had in high school to my parents' divorce being contentious. But I think it probably had a lot more to do with this incident that happened that I didn't even know how to classify it.
And I think I made it all okay because that was the easiest thing to do.
Right. And I had struggled with my weight before. Can I ask you this?
I think it was 50-50. 50-50.
There were a number of different factors. So one was I developed early. So I don't know why we don't have tests now for young girls and boys to sort of know chemically when they're going into puberty, why we wait, because it's like it starts before, but we sort of don't consider it until they're physical. You can totally fact check this because
I have no idea what I'm saying is right or I'm talking out of my ass. This is my own theory. Like that the chemical, you know, the chemical change must start earlier than necessarily the physical change, but we don't deem it puberty until we see the physical change. I had whatever the predisposition for my weight issues was. you know, genetically, but then there was also a hit puberty earlier.
So I was constantly comparing my body to other girls' bodies who had this incredible metabolism or who didn't have boobs yet or whatever that was. And so I think there were kind of those issues, but I also, I read, you know, teen 17 magazine, you know, I was always reading, exactly. Always, you know, reading. I think I went on my first diet at, maybe 11 or 12. Yeah. This is so brutal. Yeah.
It's so hard. It's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking because it's like, why can't we just have that message of we're okay. Like we're okay. However we are.
Quince is amazing.
I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater for me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
Hi, everyone.
I don't know if you guys saw, Anderson Cooper did this documentary a few years ago called Being 13. And he had access to all these 13 year olds phones or social behavior. And the one thing that stuck with me was that kids were taking on average 150 pictures for one that they would post. Oh, wow.
And that just broke my fucking heart in terms of like, what's the negative self-talk in the 149 that they didn't choose, you know? And that's like, you know, so, I mean, I think we see this kind of, it's a strange thing thing now where we've got parents who are so much more aware, right?
Aware of kind of not body shaming their kids, aware of trying to teach them nutrition in ways that are healthier. And at the same time, we have all sorts of other social aspects which are creating those problems that are making them even worse.
What I loved about Portland was I think that was where I feel like I found myself as a person. So I don't know if it was a combination of kind of now I'm not living at home. I'm in another city slash state. And it's a very different environment there. I got a lot from nature in Portland. People are real. There were sort of galleries being open late.
So I felt like I found a lot more of myself there.
Actually, it was probably more in graduate school. So my graduate degree was in social psych. And I think I saw, maybe because I was older and now had had all these crazy life experiences, but I saw more experiences in graduate school where I was both learning and self-analyzing, you know, of just understanding. It's like, oh, a threatened identity. Oh, okay. I experienced that. Or
You know, power differentials and, you know, so many different kinds of biases and understanding things. I'm sure there was some part of me that was interested in psychology because I was fucked up.
I was always lucky. I mean, I think I went through some periods when I was much younger that I didn't have friends or I was bullied a little bit, but by and large, I've always been good at friendship. Right. I've had friends, but I think particularly where men were concerned, I was very insecure. Yeah.
I think it was probably a strange combination of moments where I would feel old, but then my insecurities would regulate how I responded to reactions or to things that happened.
Yeah, but yes, but.
I'm here. This is Monica, Monica Padman. And I'm here with Dax Shepard and Wobby Wob Hollis. I had to say our last names because it's about to get quite confusing.
No, it's just complicated. I think part of me, the self-conscious part of me is like, wow, I kind of sound like a big loser in this podcast. No, my God, no. Not at all. Dating's already hard, but.
Yes. You know, that was how I was and kind of goes back to that. You know, don't stand out. Be special. Yeah. So I think there was that was kind of always the dichotomy of exactly kind of always impacting my behavior that way. But I had experiences where the popular boy would like me in high school.
But then I also had experiences where somebody basically worse than standing me up kind of left me standing outside a theater because he saw his friend and walked away with his friend and didn't come back. And I was in a heavier phase and his mom had later said, oh, well, he was embarrassed to be seen with you, which is just like this.
Yeah, I'm like, I'm a teenager. So, I mean, it's just so that's, you know, but that's kind of that fertile ground for when several years later, I think when I was in D.C. and getting this kind of attention from somebody who I'm not that girl. I'm not the homecoming queen. I'm not the girl that the guy likes. I'm the friend of the girl. Yeah. that the guy likes. Like, that's me.
Right. Of the world. And so I think it was, there were a lot of reactions and behaviors I engaged in because there was a part of me that was like, oh, this is what that girl is supposed to do. Because a lot of times when you're not that person, especially when you're younger and your brain's not fully developed and haven't had life experiences, you want to be that person. Right. Sure. Sure.
Right. If you do have self-esteem issues, it's not like people walk around with self-esteem issues and think, oh, I'm so happy I have these stories. Right. Like you basically on some level, you're kind of always looking for something to plug that feeling to assuage it.
Right. Well, I was a psychology major and it was a combination of a number of things that I ended up doing. in the internship. One was we had a family friend whose grandson had done it the year before. I'd never even heard about it.
So he said, oh, I'll be happy to give you a recommendation. I worked a whole bunch when I was in high school and college. And one of the jobs I had was selling men's neckties. And I had a customer who had worked on the Clinton campaign, who then was now hired. And so he also was somebody who recommended me.
And then I wrote an essay about how as a psychology major, you study the mind of the individual and the White House is the mind of the country. And so I think that that also had an element. So I really wasn't interested in politics aside from the kind of cursory level, like, oh, an election is happening.
It is. I'm very affected by like the aesthetics of my environment. And so one of the things that I didn't expect to happen was to fall in love with the environment there. It's beautiful. There's just this it's like smells of eucalyptus. Oh, really? And there's just a I'm very woo woo and spiritual. And there's I didn't know how to identify it at the time, but there's a very special energy there.
I mean, yes, it makes sense.
Right. And decisions have been made that have affects, you know, millions and millions of people over hundreds of years.
Right. Yes. Yeah.
Not going to ask, but it smelled like that. Yeah.
I mean, I think there were, you know, there were a lot of dynamics that were going on there that surprised me. It was very interesting for me once I then chipped off to the Pentagon. And one of the things I came to realize was how the commodity of information was so different between these two parts of the government.
And at the White House, it was if I knew something and you didn't, that was that was sort of made me more powerful. Exactly. But at the Pentagon, if I know something and you don't, our boss might be up Schitt's Creek. Oh, so it's a completely different culture. Yeah, very, very different culture and information was valued in different ways.
It was, I mean, and really it was supposed to be a pit stop on the way to graduate school. So I wanted to get a PhD in forensic psychology and work for the FBI.
I think what was interesting for me, too, is that my first trip to DC had been with my aunt. And I remember we had passed by the old executive office building. And I remember thinking, oh, my gosh, it's so beautiful. Can you imagine going to work every day there? Right. And then Shazam.
So as an intern, it's a pain because you have a temporary pass. So every time you come in and out, like you have to show your ID and you get the temporary pink eye intern pass. Once I became an employee and I had I had a permanent pass. So I had a blue pass, which was fantastic. That's like exactly. That's the sort of the all access backstage pass. So I think that's kind of the talk about status.
That's the ultimate symbol in D.C.
Now, either either my mom dropped me off. That's so cute. I looked at home.
No. So my mom's side of the family, my grandma was the matriarch and we sort of, everybody has to live in the same place. Okay, right. That's just sort of how it is. And so- My aunt and her family moved to the East Coast. So then my mom and my brother moved. And of course, then my grandma moved. And then we all had, my grandma lived in the Watergate. My mom lived in the Watergate.
My aunt was living in the country, but she had a pied-Ã -terre there. So it was sort of, and that's happened in New York. It just happens everywhere. Oh, wow.
Was that Jeffrey Toobin's book?
I mean, talk about sort of like being exposed to your home truths. Have your phone calls recorded without your permission. It's just like, oh no, I couldn't have said that. See a transcript. It's like. Then you hear yourself. Wow. I fucking said that about somebody I would get in front of a bus for. And I'm a catty bitch. And it just it is seriously. I mean, yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
So I was 22 when the relationship started and 24 when the investigation started.
Front stage, backstage. Yes.
But that's a whole justice system in general. I mean, there's I think that's that's a real issue. I have the hypocrisy of the system. So I mean, stepping outside of whatever happened to me. Yes. It's just how can we say this behavior is wrong and should be punished, but that same behavior should not be punished if you're going to help us get someone else. Yeah.
He said you stabbed her. How the fuck is that legal? Exactly. Or plea bargains. I mean, it's just a whole. Yes.
I participated in this docuseries that came out last year.
Thanks. It was really hard to do, so.
I'm just kind of referencing that because they think that there was a very broad scope of people from that timeframe who were interviewed.
And the goal of the series was to really map out all of these different perspectives and narratives that were unfolding real time for us there that we didn't have the perspective to see back, to see kind of all the places where stories were, people's narratives were being braided together that we didn't realize or, you know, those things.
Right, right. Starts with a sexual harassment case.
I believe so. And I think that there were a number of different motives that were going on for various people, I think, who were operating on that side. Some exactly as you just said. Some who were kind of looking at a bigger picture of how do we basically set a perjury trap?
And for almost everybody, I mean, many of us think I would never lie under oath, but we also live in this country where we have these puritanical views about sex and almost, you know, asking someone about their sex life under oath is almost always a perjury trap. You know, I mean, it's like Jerry Seinfeld made this great joke about during that time where he said, you know, everybody lies about sex.
If people didn't lie about sex, no one would have sex.
I think sometimes people don't remember. I didn't choose to step forward to talk about this. So I, in fact, got into trouble because I signed a false affidavit. So trying to deny that there was a layer where people didn't understand the level of detail that came out. That was also not my choice to share that. I had to share that legally. I was legally asked and denied.
Yeah. Emotional openness. And I admire her a ton.
in fact, had to give even more detail because of certain ways that other people chose to testify.
reality is is that there was not truth told no matter what the definition of sexual relations was right so that whole thing of like oh does this count as a you know does it or doesn't it it doesn't matter given everything else that happened yes I I've said before I never understood why or how this became about oral sex because that wasn't just what happened.
I don't want to get into a lot of the details. I think that was a big part of shame that I ended up having to carry for a long time as a young woman being labeled as somebody who was engaged in this servicing relationship. Right.
For sharing her experience and her story and hopes that other people can feel good. It's incredibly brave. It is.
Right. Is now being examined through a lens that nobody I mean, like, you know, maybe when you're first start dating someone, you're like, oh, we've done it this many times. Or, you know, it's such a strange way to not only as oneself to try to analyze something or unpack it, but even more bizarre to have other people talking about something which is normally so private. Oh, my God. I just can't.
Yeah, it is.
Or to take it from you. That's your agency.
You know, I mean, and that's part of consent in a very different way as sort of, you know, what we choose to share about ourselves and what we choose to keep private and with whom we share those aspects of ourselves.
No, this was not a secret that I ever, you know, yes, I may have confided in some of my friends, but this was not something I ever would have talked about publicly.
Trying to get attention. Want to make money.
Yeah. I mean, I call myself a social canvas. I think the thing is, is that this story triggered so many archetypes for us. I think it was not just one narrative. I think there were a lot. So there was privileged upbringing, my weight. I was, you know, torn apart from my looks. So, I mean, the slut shaming. So whether it, you know, the affair, the fallen woman.
So, I mean, they're just, we were kind of living in times, I think, where objectivity was commonplace. just not really present. I mean, just, I think along the lines, it's interesting to me, people will point out to me now, well, how could people have thought you were dumb? You had an internship in the White House. Right, right. Well, they did. I was called a stupid bimbo.
I mean, I have like serious trauma from when I was in grad school, I couldn't get up and present in front of a class. You know, you were asking me initially about how I judge people when people ask me a question.
When I was in grad school, I was so, I had such imposter syndrome that anytime somebody asked me a question, I thought that they were actually trying to trick me or to see, did I know the answer? You know, I was afraid to get help writing an essay because I thought it would expose me that I should have known something.
You know, so, you know, this was also it was a really challenging situation, which I don't think we'd even be able to have nowadays. First of all, the cycle is so much shorter. Right. So this idea of there kind of being a year long story, but also because of legal reasons, I couldn't speak publicly. Uh huh. So I was very one-dimensional for people. I was so young.
There was nothing else to hang an identity for me on. What had I been before I worked in the White House? A student, a college student. You know what I mean? Again, not to excuse my poor choices, but there were also a lot of people who were invested in... making sure that the president didn't lose his job.
And that meant that there were narratives that had to be spun, you know, that there were stories. And a lot of those people didn't know me. And then there were a lot of people who knew me well, who had no problem engaging in that kind of behavior.
Yeah. I mean, my family was all I had, so I couldn't talk to most of my friends until after they had testified. So, I mean, I don't think I would have survived without my family, although we weren't, I wasn't allowed to talk to my brother.
No, for a long time.
To protect him legally.
We're doing.
I think it totally depends. So if I feel comfortable in a situation, like right now I feel comfortable. So I came in, I felt comfortable with Monica. And by the way, am I like the first Monica, Monica?
Right. I mean, it's one of the reasons I'm so unbelievably grateful for all the changes that have happened in the last few years is that it's... People stop my doctor, stop my dad in the hall and say something positive or someone will have said something positive to Mike at work. And, you know, that alongside kind of whatever history might be told in a class teacher show my TED talk.
So, I mean, it's pretty, you know, it's just unbelievably meaningful for me. A hundred percent. And, you know, and I've got a niece and nephew whom I adore and they also have my last name.
But also too, I think there were other layers of it, like more logistical complications, like particularly at the time if I had gone to the courthouse and tried to sign legal papers, changing my name, that would have ended up in the press. So then I would have been like Prince, you know, you know, Sally Smith, formerly known as Monica Lewinsky, you know, or so then what, where would I go?
And, and people would, I didn't even understand how would that work? So, so I run into somebody I went to grade school with and I say, well, I don't go by that name anymore.
Yeah, and I think I, the story was so big and it was such a huge change of my life. And my new normal was, there was such a massive chasm between what my old normal and my new normal were that I think that there just wasn't room for that. I just had to kind of keep moving
trying to move forward and keep trying to get back onto a developmental path that my therapist at the time, that was always her goal was sort of, how do we get you back on a developmental path of a 25 year old? You know, so what does that look like?
Monica Potter.
And, you know, how am I going to support myself and, you know, and find purpose and meaning in the world and try to find a relationship, which I think was, you know, also something that I tried at the time. And I now look back on that period. I'm like, Of course I couldn't have been in a serious relationship.
We've had Monica Potter. I was thinking. Not in the attic though. We did a live show with her. So in the attic first.
I was involved. I fell in love. I cared about people. And I actually think it was hard for some people who got to know me and cared about me to sort of reconcile the person they got to know with how the rest of the world saw me. So that was also hard. And at younger ages and maybe careers not fully developed to step into all that. It's just, I wouldn't have...
Positivity.
I've become good at reading people, which I think most people who end up as public people end up having to be. Yes.
It's incredible.
It's pretty. It's effective. It's effective. Efficient.
Wasn't it so cozy? Everything is so soft and so comfortable and so cute. You know I have a bunch of their products I've acquired over the years, and I love them all, all for different occasions. I have that gray dress that I really love that I can dress up or down.
Yes, I have the jammies. I have the bras. The bras are really something special because it's really hard to find a good, comfortable bra that's also chic. And they have a really good one, the Fits Everybody T-shirt bra. It really does fit everybody. I have gifted this.
Although, you know, this is sort of non sequitur, but someone said to me, I saw this shaman in New York who was amazing a few weeks ago. And she said something to me about how people who have survived trauma, they can't be okay unless everyone else is okay in the room and feel safe. Like that's how they feel safe is that everyone else feels okay. And I was like, oh, that's a hundred percent me.
It's a big hit.
No. Well, sometimes. And by the way, what is a slut?
Well, because, I mean, it was pejorative. So whatever, you know, slut and tart and bimbo and horror.
Dehumanized. Yes.
You know, I think, correct. Correct. all of the women in the story experience that in different ways. I think that we, as a society, we look at women in the public eye in a very different way than we do men.
Let's get really.
I know it sounds kind of cliched, but I really do think none of us knows how strong we are until we're tested. I do think that. I mean, I'm grateful I've been able to survive. There have been many, many moments where I didn't think I could make it through. And it could be the strangest, you know, I think of it as that It's a small moment of grace that, you know, makes you go right instead of left.
The phone rings, somebody who doesn't even know you're in pain and you don't not even, wouldn't even necessarily say, but that connection.
Oh, during the investigation, eating for sure.
It was years of jobs. Well, I think the, you know, it wasn't officially over. So it started January of 98. It wasn't kind of quote unquote officially over until he was acquitted. He was impeached by the house, but then acquitted by the Senate. And that was, I think, February of 1999. So it was,
Little over a year there, but was something that stayed in kind of part of the, would you say political zeitgeist? Well, kind of the zeitgeist in general. The cultural zeitgeist. Yeah.
And so, you know, and then when I went to graduate school, I had really mistakenly and naively thought, oh, I'm going to move to England and I'm going to LSE and I'm now going to be a graduate student and I'm leaving, you know, political Monica Lewinsky back in the States. Uh-huh. And I actually was having to take on another identity. I wasn't getting rid of an identity.
And ultimately, I think for me, you know, it was like I came out of graduate school and then was actually almost the darkest period, even darker. There was an adrenaline that coursed through the entire year of 98. But it was when I came out of graduate school and I couldn't get a job and I couldn't purpose and support myself. That's really when it was a darker time for me.
Right. And that was when I came into my anger. But at the same time, you know, I see now, I'm not sure I would choose it again, but I see now what that period did benefit me was I ended up having the time back. to do the deep self healing, you know, the kind of involution.
And, you know, there was a lot of spiritual work.
I think ultimately, you know, the really big lesson for me, many lessons, but one of them was around, you know, not running away from my past, that it was about integrating My past, like I'm very fond of saying I don't believe in sort of moving on.
I believe in moving forward and that there to me, there's a real distinction between those two, that there's like an element of moving on feels like, oh, you're supposed to put whatever happened to you in the past and and almost with a layer of shame cut off kind of from whatever that behavior was. You know, and it's one of the things I really admire about you and how you've talked about your past.
No, I think it's just a layer. It's just kind of a layer of how people operate in the world. So not even necessarily people being comfortable with my trauma, but I don't feel safe unless everyone else feels comfortable.
life experiences, Dax, is that you are so comfortable or seemingly so comfortable with all of the decisions you made based on the pain you were in and your ability to transcend that shame, I think has helped a lot of people.
Yes. We wanted to do a little of our favorites this week. You just heard a couple of days ago. You heard Laurel Bo. Mom. Triple L. Dax's mom. That episode. And my pick for the week is Monica Lewinsky. That's why that's confusing.
On the Internet, too, like in the nascent days of the Internet, just that experience of a lot of people have experienced that now. I think there's, you know, the statistics are like one in 10 or something.
I think, you know, there's so many different things that are at play in our online world. You know, there's the online disinhibition effect. So where people, because they're hiding behind a screen or behind anonymity, find it easier to take on different personas. We saw that in the beginning of that with Remember Second Life. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
You know, so, I mean, that was really that was kind of the beginning, I think, of this idea of, you know, an avatars of sort of, OK, let me both be this person, but also be someone else, be some different curated version of who I want to be. For sure. Right. Some projected version.
Right? So some people might come into a situation and... and think, okay, how do I need to feel safe in this? Like, here's what I need. For me, it would be, I need everyone else to feel okay in order for me to feel safe in a situation.
Right, exactly. And which in and of itself has a layer of shame connected to it, right? Because there's that idea of whoever I am, really am, is not good enough. For sure. Yeah. So I think, you know, that's at play. I think we have people constantly, I mean, just the... chasm between our real lives and curated selves online is very challenging.
And I think that's where there's so much mental health issues coming in. I had this young boy say to me last week, which was he'd written in an essay, and I've just been turning it over in my mind ever since I read it, where he was talking about actually with physical violence, that when you don't have an adult to say to you, everything's going to be okay.
You're alone in your pain and your experience, and you may lash out at someone else doing the exact same thing for the very reason so that you're not alone.
Which was amazing to me. Like, I had never really thought about it from that way. I mean, I believe, okay, hurt people hurt people, you know, all those things.
It truly does. I certainly don't want to excuse any kind of online harassment or bullying behavior, but that in some ways it's a coping mechanism for some people.
You know, and that's where we kind of have to step back. There is no three-prong easy solution. This is like the human condition. Right.
And I think the business model is different.
with so many more outlets there are more people in this industry who are looking to make an income sure sure yeah yeah money i mean they can't ignore data yes so i mean that's the whole thing is is you know is around the idea of the the model of money that gets made from these things and that shame and public humiliation are these currencies in our society yes they're very tasty for people yeah yeah and it's and i do think there's i have a friend who has this really interesting
theory around because we now don't stay in the same village, you know, from where we were born and know the same people for our entire lives, that well-known people have kind of become the local, that was sort of the local gossip that we would. So these are the familiar people that we now, instead of staying in our village, we take them with us wherever we go.
Like, I understand what you're saying. I just, I do think that we can evolve away from gossip.
And if you step back and you like take a completely different view and think about it energetically, it's like words have a consequence. You know, they have a consequence whether you are hearing them or not. That sense of, I mean, we have energy fields where we're affected by what people think about us, what they say about us.
I mean, that for me, I think a big part of my healing was I spent many years having to heal my field. So to sort of having gone overnight from being known by a very small group of people relative to the rest of the world, and then all of a sudden have all this negative intention and energy coming at me, that's an effect.
I totally take it on. Like I went on a job interview once where the person who was interviewing me was more nervous than I was. And so all their nervous tics started coming out. And initially I was reading it as sort of this person kept scowling and I was like, oh, fuck, I'm saying the wrong thing. I'm never going to get this job. And then eventually I realized, oh, it's nervous tics.
There's probably a technical term for this, which I can't remember or don't know. But I think that probably one of the most important ways forward is Is around trying to rather than trying to penalize a lot of the negative behavior, which I think can be helpful, is also at the same time trying to bring in more of the positive. Right. So trying to drown that out in some ways.
So educating people on how to be an upstander online, like how important that is.
Oh yeah, no, it's amazing. To be an upstander means to sort of intervene in a situation and you can intervene while you're seeing something, like while you're seeing a bullying situation unfold or an online harassment unfurl, you can intervene that way. But you can also intervene after the fact too.
That's a really important part of being an upstander, which is just recognizing, reaching out to the person who's been the target of that behavior. Basically allowing somebody to know that someone witnessed what happened. Yes. To whether that is a supportive emoji or it's saying to someone, I saw what happened or saying, do you want to come sit with me or want to go to the movies?
Some way of, um, if it's somebody, you know, if it's a stranger, just a positive comment, you know, that there are all these ways that we can actually interrupt the cycles that are happening in the bullying cycle that are important for people to remember, uh,
Also reporting harassment with online situations, reporting any bullying or online harassment that you see is also these are all ways of kind of being a good digital citizen. And they have a huge impact, particularly, I think, you know, from the work that I do, the worst kinds of things that happen are when people are suffering in silence alone.
And the faster somebody knows that they're not invisible. Right. There's this irony of this kind of behavior that you are a target of something and yet you actually feel really invisible.
So the more I think that you can encourage people to sort of step up and engage in these sorts of behaviors, we're starting to shift the balance of the other kind of behavior that's happening, which we should address in how we're dealing with these issues too.
And there are some who talk about people who engage, especially younger people who engage in bullying behavior. Some People look at models that are saying it actually is their kids trying different power structures on. Yes. There's so many different things. I think I think one of the things that we have trouble with around this topic is that, like usual, we're always trying to simplify things.
Yes, yes.
Right. Exactly. And people engage in bullying behavior for for myriad reasons. And people become targets for myriad reasons. And there are myriad ways to handle different situations. There's no one correct way for every single person who's either a bully or a target. I have witnessed and I have experienced the enormous shifts that can happen when people step into compassion.
You know, so I thought, OK, so now I've got to make this person feel comfortable.
I agree. I think it's really important to point out that intervening directly is not always right for every person in every situation, just like it's not always right Maybe right in some circumstances, but to say to somebody, you have to stand up to a bully. Like it's just, again, it's sort of that nuanced scenario. Yes.
Because there are people who are equipped to do that socially and emotionally, and there are people who aren't. And some people can be endangered by doing those sorts of things, which is why I think with upstanding behavior, it's really important for people to recognize that. You don't have to be the person who stands up to the bully. You can still be effective. I mean, that's for me.
For me, my focus is the target's experience. You know, how do we get that person from feeling shame and alone and sadness? to feeling more okay fastest. And that doesn't matter if you're by 15, 50, you know, social media is it's, I mean, it's really come to kind of map our underlying cultural beliefs, you know?
Trauma in general is exhausting.
So, I mean, it's a lot of people, I think there was like this thing I read recently, 60 or 70% of people think the internet is an online harassment is kind of responsible for this corrosion of civility. Yeah. It's hard because the truth is we have to look at ourselves. I mean, I look at social media a lot and a lot of behavior just kind of like road rage, which I have.
So, I mean, it's just sort of that I behave in the car in ways that I would not behave outside the car. Right. Right. Totally. And but I think that that happens online. We see that sort of not regulated behavior, you know, and so much of it is because we have lost sight of the fact we don't have those. You know, I'm sitting in a room with both of you. I can read your facial expressions.
I can feel your emotions, you know, and there there are always I believe there are always so many different languages going on and many which we don't even know we're using. and communicating ways that we're communicating. And so when it's online, you don't have those same cues.
And so people tend to devolve into the worst versions of themselves, but there are ways to not do that.
Yeah. I mean, I think it I think a big threat of that is connection. There's kind of this vicious cycle that's happened with online education. behavior around, you know, we sort of do that thing of we compare our insides to other people's outsides.
I'm on Instagram privately, Twitter publicly, and constantly, constantly feeling like everyone else is happier, thinner, wealthier, more in love, all of those things.
Right, exactly. doing better Instagram, let's not forget that, right? Like, you know, the meta. We also find connection there. Young people, I think it's over 40% find connection, more connection from social media, but then they also feel disconnected in ways too. Yeah, lonelier than ever. Right. I think what happens is it's kind of this,
You're in the solipsistic club? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got a jacket.
It's this weird thing where at the same time that we're thirsty for more connection, the ways we're finding connection are also trying to tell us that we're less than. So it becomes, it's a very complicated back and forth struggle.
But they're also getting dopamine hits when the, like, times come in and things, likes come in and stuff.
So it is a weird balance of... Yeah, I mean, I think it's great that we're seeing some of the social media companies start, finally start to address some of these issues. I have a big fear that...
Social media is going to end up like the cable networks that if we don't find a way to actually coexist in these social spaces with, you know, very different polarized viewpoints, we will splinter off and then we'll end up siloed in the same way of Fox News and all the other stations. And so, yeah. You know, I think we're being given an opportunity. I'm not saying it is great.
And I know how challenging it is for people who are targets of these things. But we are being given an opportunity online to try to find ways to bridge the divide of perspective.
Let's be really clear. I'm still very broken. Okay.
Right, exactly. Yeah. Not shattered to pieces.
I think I feel gratitude more than pride. Maybe that's down the road. But I was just talking to my mom this morning just about, I think every once in a while, I kind of shocked into remembering what my life was like before things started to change a few years ago. And I never could have imagined that.
giving a purpose to my past in the way that I have or using that pain in service of hoping that other people feel less alone.
You know, I think that's really what it's about. You probably know this. It's a privilege. It's a privilege to have a life where you're able to help other people feel less alone because of the experiences you're sharing.
I mean, that's kind of, you know, that's, look, we'd like to shit all over social media, but that's also kind of one of the beauties of social media too, is that we do get to hear from people. We do get to connect in ways that we wouldn't otherwise.
you can find your tribe in a way you can absolutely sure i mean they're so i mean and think about there are a lot of political movements the women's march wouldn't wouldn't have been able to happen that fast yeah you know hashtag me too 2.0 you know i mean tarana burke started it 10 years ago but it you know social media and changed that into something different yeah it became something became a louder voice and coalesced faster because of it so
It's like everything. Right. But of course, that's the world we live in.
And lacks nuance and context.
And I also think that there are, you know, hopefully the platforms will come to places where. they'll be instituting mechanisms to help sort of alleviate those kinds of scenarios too.
Yeah. But I think we, you know, I don't know if this will make sense, but so I had to do a lot of work over the years around my relationship to material things, like hoarding. I'm not real hoarder, capital H, but sort of, I like to joke, I had clutter from my decluttering books. I mean, it's just, you know, and I...
We control the algorithm. We do. We're in charge of that algorithm.
Yeah. Did you see Jaron? I always get his last name wrong. Jaron Lanier. He gave a really interesting TED talk last year and he's been involved in the Internet and he he made this argument. We sort of went right when we should have gone left at the point of. should the internet have been subscription-based or ad-based?
And so, you know, I mean, you can also see that there, of course, then there are the financial hierarchy issues if it were to have been subscription-based. But I think that, you know, a lot of where we are is because we have, without realizing it, made these agreements of our clicking, our data, that these are the new commodities. He argues that That it's not too late to turn back.
And I think we should really be looking and exercising all options.
So it's October is Bullying Prevention Month. So every year for the last two years, and we will be doing this year, BBDO New York and I have done a campaign for Bullying Prevention Month, which we launch usually in the first few days of October. Okay.
Oh, my God. You had a lot of energy for that one.
You know what I'm realizing?
That song was not about me, was it?
Yeah, it is. This was a great episode.
Yeah, I feel very grateful that she trusted us to share her story.
worked over the years with somebody who has actually has a background in psychology and it's been an amazing process to sort of see as things have changed for me things I'm ready to let go of but I had this one experience where I was helping friends of mine move because they were remodeling and it was like why do you have this case of unopened you know ball jars for jam that you
Yeah. And we've gotten to know her.
We've gotten to know her through this process. And she's so lovely.
Me too. Me too. And strong.
Talk about it. I know.
I wonder what the percentage is of people who then felt a lot of judgment if they still do. Yeah. So much has changed since then. Yeah.
You did? Yeah.
I know it's so complicated.
It is true. It's often, not always, of course, but it's often the man who cheats on his wife. And yeah, the woman who had an affair with him is the one that generally gets the blame.
The other woman. I try not to say that because it's so cliche. But even that has connotations, right? Exactly. And like that... person gets ostracized and that person and often the husband and wife end up reconciling. So the husband ends up really not feeling the weight of anything and that other person ends up feeling And that to me is extremely unfair.
Well, that's true.
You think?
That they're even?
Single people?
Well, no, men are cheating more than women, I would say. Probably.
Rob, add it to the list.
you're going to pay more money storing than you could just buy it again, you know, but I said, no, no, no, no, we have to keep those and broken things and all those things. And so I had this experience where I was able to, I could see because I had no attachment, I had no energy towards these things, how easy it was for me to, think about letting go of them or categorizing them. Yeah.
Maybe. I...
Yeah. I mean, I mean, I'm just look at stereotypical married couples. I would say stereotypically. Don't get mad at me, everyone. Yeah. The man wants more sex than the woman. Often. Not always.
But often.
Of course, yes.
Yeah, they do.
Yeah, they do.
Doesn't feel fair.
No, I think I don't.
I agree. And but what I think the part of this conversation that doesn't get talked about very much, which she touched on a little bit, which is, you know, she was like part of what was so awful is this public presentation that it was a servicing relationship. And she was like, it was a mutual relationship.
And I don't think that part gets talked about where it's like she's in a relationship with the person. On top of this public thing, there's, I'm sure, a private heartbreak.
She's not allowed to feel. Right. And that is not fair.
Yeah, it is.
But I do. I do.
And so, and I think as opposed to my own shit, which I had, I had a story about everything and had to tell that story. And I think that kind of reflects in a way what you're saying about just those two very different positions.
Yeah. OK, yes. So she was trying to find the verbiage for this quote. She said the tallest poppy gets cut off first, but it's called tall poppy syndrome.
You are a tall poppy. It describes aspects of a culture where people of high status are resented, attacked, cut down, strung up or criticized because they've been classified as superior to their peers.
Yes. I think we love, I mean, a lot of people have said this, but like, yeah, we'd love to see people rise and fall too. I think because again, like you just said, everyone makes mistakes and so it feels relatable. But also I think if you're not at that level, you feel like, oh, it's actually not that good up there.
Like there's something about it that feels comforting to you that you're not there because maybe when you get to that level, it's like all shady.
I know. I think that's a negative outlook on it, which it could very well be true. But I think it's a deeper psychological thing happening.
Currently, our system, some of the richest people pay no taxes.
Right. But I wonder if this is like, is this like lunch four times a week with your boss? Like, have you seen just abolish billionaires, period, and then nothing more?
Okay. Right. Again. So one person is saying that.
I mean, the side of the argument I have heard has not been abolish billionaires. It's been they need to pay for.
Yeah. Okay. Well, you said you don't know what the number is, but probably 50% of people were getting cheated on that year. That year being 1998. But there's no stat for that.
I mean, there can't be. It's a wild guess. Exactly. There just can't be.
That's why I had to say last names.
Yeah, I can in that moment have the thing I want when there are other things in the world that I want that I can't have. Sure. So it's just a quick way to get some control. It lasts for like an hour and then it goes away.
No. Cyberbullying, she said one in 10. According to cyberbullying statistics from the I Say Foundation, over half of adolescents and teens have been bullied online and about the same number have engaged in cyberbullying. More than one in three young people have experienced cyber threats online. Over 25% of adolescents and teens have been bullied repeatedly through cell phones or the internet.
Well, over half of young people do not tell their parents when cyberbullying occurs.
Then you get the ego. Do you do the return thing? Cause then you get a whole different set of chemicals of the return of like, Oh, it's like losing weight.
No? I totally don't think so.
Well, one, because there's been only a rise in these types of behaviors and especially these mass shootings and stuff since –
But I'm not talking like gang related. That's what that stuff is.
Yeah. All these types of unconventional shootings and depression rates are up. I mean, all these things are everything's gotten worse since the invention of the phones and video games and all of those things. So, no, I don't think it's an outlet for people.
satiates people's angst but I don't think you can make the argument because all this stuff has gotten worse angst wise if you're talking about people who feel entitled and act out because of it all that stuff's gotten way worse yeah yeah And depression just has gotten way worse.
Exactly. I actually don't do that because I'm late. I'm like too lazy to go back to the store. So then I'll return them for you. Great. This is a good solution.
Yeah. So... Okay, so we talked about gossip a little bit. There's an interesting NPR article about gossip. So gossip can help solidify personal relationships and encourage cooperation. Children engage in this form of gossip by age five. One provocative view comes from anthropologist Robin Dunbar...
who argues that gossip is the human analog of social grooming, which is widely practiced by our primate cousins. Through gossip, we can create and maintain social bonds more efficiently, allowing us to form groups of larger sizes. These suggestions about the benefits of gossip for cooperation correspond to a special subset of gossip, what's recently been called pro-social gossip.
Pro-social gossip involves sharing negative judgments about a third party, but where the shared information could protect the recipient from antisocial behavior or exploitation. Thus, gossiping about who cheats at cards or who's likely to shirk at a responsibility would qualify as pro-social gossip. Researchers Jan Engelman, Esther Herman, and Michael Tomasello of the Max Planck.
The word requires a different voice. Plank. I can't, is it plank? It wouldn't be plank. P-L-A-N-C-K.
For evolutionary anthropology, studied pro-social gossip in both three and five-year-olds. To create an opportunity for such gossip, they had the children play a game. Children who participated in the study first played with two puppets, one of which was more generous than the other.
A second child then came in to play the game with just one of the two puppets, and the researchers observed whether the first child gossiped about the puppets, offering a social evaluation that could help the second child decide which puppet to choose. For example, if a child said... You should play with the green puppet because the yellow puppet is stingy and doesn't share enough tokens.
That would be classified as pro-social gossip. The researchers found that most children in both age groups offered some sort of guidance about which puppet to choose, but the three-year-olds very rarely offered an evaluation to go along with it.
For instance, they might recommend one puppet over the other, but they wouldn't go on to explain that it was because that puppet was generous or because the other puppet cheated. The five-year-olds, by contrast, offered such evaluations about half the time. They went beyond a mere recommendation to a social judgment, the kind of claim that might make or break an individual's reputation.
So that's why they got the three to five number.
Yeah. There's some positives.
Yeah, exactly.
So an example would be, I had every single article that I read for my master's thesis. Like I kept everything, even if I didn't cite it in my paper, I still had it. And that was really connected to sort of all the anxiety I had around people thinking I was stupid. And so it was the safety or all these books that I bought when I was in graduate school that I never fucking read.
Yeah. I feel shitty. Why? Yeah. I think for me, it's about purpose. Like, what is the purpose of talking about this? Is the purpose of talking about it to dissect it, to understand more, to.
I think that's what a lot of gossip is. But generally that kind of gossip is the kind I don't love. I mean, that example is so benign, but like the shirt is bad. Is that?
It is, or it's the connection thing. Like, did you notice, like, his shirt was all wrinkled up?
Oh, my God. Do you think he doesn't have any money? Because he doesn't. I even iron his gloves.
He smells bad, too. They are seeking connection, but I...
I agree with that now in my adult life, but I think I probably spent many, many, many conversations just pretending like I noticed that so I could feel inside.
No, you don't.
I know, but I... I don't think you do that. I mean, you do do that about tongues. I don't think you talk poorly about people for like no reason.
That's all. I love you.
We can talk about it.
But then we'd be like, sure. He said herpes a lot.
A follow-up conversation of like, oh my God, he's so confident to be doing that. And why is he so confident? Like wondering why is that to me is fine. That's just exploring. But like just being like, ew, ew.
Yeah, ew. That's what people say about me sometimes. That's what you're worried about. No one says that. No one says that. All right. I love you.
Oh my God. Yeah. Even though we found out you hate this, but the name means alone and also advice giver. Which both of those things I think apply to myself. You disagree. I disagree. We'll talk about it on the next back.
And it was like uncreased on the thing, but look, look, I'm smart, I'm smart, I'm not a dumb bimbo. And eventually in the last few years, eventually I was sort of in a place where I was like, oh, I actually don't really need these anymore. Which is fascinating.
So I think I had read in one of those decluttering books about that we keep things because we're afraid we're not going to be provided for in the future. And so that was really interesting to me too. But I agree that the shopping high or the control aspect of it. Yeah. I don't think I've thought of it that way, but that would a hundred percent be me.
OK, you're not dumb. I'm just going to tell you.
Yeah, we've done a few. And most of them, I was looking, I was like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. And when I saw Monica Lewinsky's name come up, I thought- Oh my gosh, I totally forgot we got to do that. How amazing of an opportunity. And then she was just so special and so sweet and so strong and wonderful. And the way she looks back on everything I think is really profound. And
I think there's an element of healing and shifting that kind of happens. And then maybe you're ready to have somebody help you try to alleviate that fear.
I agree that I don't think just because you have a fear and somebody sits down and says to you, oh, you really shouldn't have that fear anymore that that's going to now. Oh, no. But I also think, too, that, you know, that there are a lot of fears that come from how I describe it. I don't know that, you know, my trauma psychiatrist would agree. But I mean, I sort of think with trauma, it's like we.
kind of each create our own file folders we make our decision on how we store like traumas right so you and i could have the same traumatic experiences but we might file them in different folders in different ways right you see this with siblings a ton yeah exactly and so i think sometimes what happens too is that we'll sort of see that top fear we may not even recognize in ourselves that actually it's connected to all these other fears that have happened and so it may seem illogical to someone else but it's really not
to us because it's based on these other experiences we've had too.
Oh, I was born in San Francisco and then I was raised here in actually Beverly Hills. Okay. So, and then my parents divorced and my dad moved to Brentwood and,
It was more painful in some ways for me because... I think I lived with an illusion of how I wanted my family to be. I mean, by all kind of markers, I had a great upbringing and wonderful parents and I have an amazing younger brother and never worried about... a roof over my head or food on the table. So very privileged that way.
But I also think that my parents are two wonderful people who were not a great match. And that was pretty hard to be around, but I think also pretty self-evident. Even now when people meet them, they're kind of like, how are your parents married? Right. But they both bring great things.
Yeah. So actually she was an urban planner before she had kids and then she became kind of lead parent. And my dad is still a practicing radiation oncologist.
So he came here at 14. Right.
So anyway, I hope you find something to connect to in our chat, and thanks for joining us on Reclaiming. So let's get into it.
So many women, I think, find themselves in different levels of relationships that are everything from psychologically and emotionally abusive to physically abusive, and I think find it hard to leave. I mean, and I think people talk more now about... attachment styles and stuff. And so I look back on some of my relationships during what I call my dark decade.
So kind of in between 98, graduate school, whatever, and my first person essay in Vanity Fair in 2014. And I think I look at it and maybe it's a story I tell myself, but I think about that the pain I was in staying in relationships with people who didn't value me, who talked to me a certain way that I allowed and accepted and kept going back for more. And I look at it and I think I was
I was in a deeper pain and experiencing the pain in the relationship was actually easier. Like I knew, I knew I had to go through pain and that was easier than the pain of really what I was sitting on of both, not only my experiences in 98, but whatever, all those experiences before it that, that, that led to all of that.
And so did you feel, do you feel like, does that resonate at all or something different? I only had healthy relationships.
I think what's interesting to me is to just think about how you had this strong sense of self. You lost yourself in this relationship. What's so interesting to me is because I think this is in a short period of time, you lost
You were able to, it may have been, it may have felt like forever to you and may have seemed near impossible, but you actually stepped into a healing mode and found yourself again in what I think is like a very powerful and quick way. Yeah. And that's one of the things that I admire about you is that you have a focus.
And I think that's part of, I think that's the good side of the black and white, the good side of the kind of the fierceness, the going in and it's a decisiveness.
Hi, everyone. For today's episode, I spoke with my brave and brilliant friend, Olivia Munn. We met over a decade ago and bonded over all things woo woo. So crystals, astrology. We just got into deep, real conversation really quickly, which is kind of the way I like to do it. You probably know her as an actor and an activist.
And if you're on social media, you'd also know her as the mom to adorable Malcolm and May. Because Olivia and I are close, I knew about her struggle with breast cancer in real time, but to hear her heartbreaking and inspiring story in the details that she shared in our conversation, it meant so much to me and made me admire her even more. And for any fans of the newsroom, we went there too.
Because, well, tell him the fact and then I'll tell you how I twisted it.
Taking away the description in the role that this should be a 24-year-old white woman. Maybe it could be anyone. It has gotten a ton better. It has definitely gotten better. Once that's gone, then I think there'll be less of, well, this person's Asian and they should be Native. Like that will go away if the opportunity is there for everybody.
Well, maybe she also was like, life is short. What's the point of all this?
Oh, well, I don't know about that. Also, she started in the middle. She said, in other words, what's before that? Yeah, what is before that?
It was just a picture of her and I together at an event. You were kissing.
Yeah, because these magazines, they do make up so much.
Well, I think still this happens here. People pick a villain or a scapegoat.
I have the same thing. It really gets under my skin when someone's miscalculated or misjudged.
But is Duncan Jones somebody's kid?
wanted to separate. It's kind of like Nick Cage. Nope. He was a Coppola.
Oh, really? He's in the Coppola family.
Yeah. Yeah, needing to prove herself. Yeah.
Never. Not once. Yeah, but some people do if they're not well. Okay. I've seen.
Exactly. Or like Substance, as you said, was such a good movie to see in the movie theater.
Because everyone's into it and laughing and kind of screaming. And it's that communal thing we just don't get anymore. Exactly.
And are you putting it directly on your... I normally use hands, also a lather. But I do get in there.
Did you watch the Oscars last night?
Ariana came out and sang a song from The Wizard of Oz. She sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Yeah. And then Cynthia came out and sang a song from The Wiz.
And then they sang together. They sang together that. Defying Gravity. And it was like together we're unlimited. It gave me chills. Just repeating it gave me chills. I know. Also what it was saying, because The Wiz is an African-American Wizard of Oz and it's bringing these together. It was spectacular.
She's got to let him have the facts. Yeah, no, she, her all time, her like my Matt and Ben.
Is Mr. Tumnus. Who? What's his name? James McAvoy. Oh, great pick. I know. But she picked him while he was Mr. Tumnus.
In, like, Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe. So he's like a centaur or something. Oh, wow. And we were seeing him in the movie theater, and she was like, is he hot? And I was like, no. Wow. And he's turned out to be quite hot.
I guess. I've never met him.
Ew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really accurate in a gross way. Tramp. Because it's kind of like shrimp, which he's shrimpy.
I like that. He really looks like a Trimp. Who do you think is the perfect name to face and body, like name to person match?
Yeah, but I don't know. That's like chicken or the egg.
Right, I've never done that.
I assume that's the whole point. It's very visual.
OK. Okay, I have a question, answer honestly. Yeah. Is it that just like overall the titillation in seeing like women on screen or, yeah, we'll say on screen.
Okay, so it's all going downhill or is it just the age has changed?
That's what I was literally just about to say.
What's happening is you're becoming.
Your feminine side is coming out. Finally.
Yeah, that's how it feels.
They come in as a couple?
Hold on, I want to give you, because I was hard on you and I actually want to commend you now because I do appreciate that you as a guy really care about it being clean because I do think a lot of guys don't and then they just have skid marks and they think who gives a fuck. But really, you should care.
You mean like sex worker? Yeah. Yeah.
And do you think the temptresses want to date? It's not right.
That doesn't exist. I know.
They put all the back up front. That means they have a huge vagina.
Of course, it's so cringy.
Are you the one? Yeah, we loved that.
Yeah, that's like Bachelor. Yes. Yeah.
We talked about Brad Pippin hot.
That's how we got there. Yeah. I mean, look, I, I get it.
Really? Yeah. I mean. I'm saying really in like... I'm dying. No, no, really. Like I would assume that you don't have any anymore. Oh.
No, it's not that. It's just things do change. Like even for me, you know, today an article came out in GQ about, About my boyfriend, one of my original boyfriends, Ben.
And, you know, my friend said, you have to read this article. Sure. About Ben. And I was like.
Yeah. And actually she said, I know you're more of a Mac girl, but you have to read this. And then I got like old defensive, right? I was like, it's not one or the other. They're the same. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but I know at some point in my life, the idea that there was like new info about Ben or that he would have participated in thing. And I, and I, I would have been, I would have been so excited.
I'm proud of you. You should totally care.
I would have read it immediately. I would have canceled all my plans.
And I was like, Oh, I got to read that. Like it like felt like a chore. Similar. I loved it.
Yeah. It was, it's really good.
Well, I also give a lot of credit to the interviewer. He's not going for low-hanging fruit.
Exactly. And so in doing that, Ben says a lot of stuff.
Exactly, exactly. And I mean, he just owns a lot of things. He talks about, I mean... I mean, there's nothing like majorly juicy, but he does talk about his relationship with Jen Lopez. And he's basically like, yeah, everyone wants like a juicy headline. He's like, it's it's just. It'd be so boring if you knew the details. It's just a relationship.
It's just like she has things, I have things and it ultimately doesn't work. He's very like reflective of this thing about him that like people love to watch him spill coffee on the street. And he said, I could have been more strategic. I should be more strategic. I shouldn't like go out and get the mail or go out in crappy clothes.
I know people are going to do a thing, but I just don't get, I don't give a fuck.
And then, and he said, when he looks back on old articles.
And that people are waiting for you to do something very silly.
Exactly. And and he talks like about his kids because he has this production company with Matt. And like the reason they started that is so he could be at home. He can like be with the kids when they get off the bus. And he missed a lot of chunks. He said he missed a lot of chunks and he regrets that. And he doesn't like that. And yeah, it was it was great. It was great. I loved it.
Yeah, I just saw something about Ash on maybe Instagram. Some friends had seen it and they were raving about it. They were raving, yeah.
Perimenopause is kicking in. Same. Yeah. Yeah. It makes sense because I'm Indian.
I'm Indian and you're white. So we would be hitting it around the same time.
Yeah. Oh, wait. Can we do one more thing? Yes, of course. This is still sort of on subject. Yeah, yeah. Of hotness. So I say that, right?
Oh yeah. Who are they?
Oh, you didn't know to the end it was him? Yes. Oh, that's why I saw it. I was like, oh, Soderbergh has a music.
I didn't even realize it was her.
I didn't realize it was her the whole movie until you just said that.
I mean, she looks like her now in retrospect.
It's crazy that you said it because what I was about to say is, you know, we're saying this lusty thing, but I saw Black Bag and I thought it was so sexy. Yeah. And he's so sexy in it.
his his level of control is hot right he loves her so much yeah fucking he'll just betray his country for her yeah and she's so beautiful in it kate blanchett yes and also like i'm really upset because her outfits are so cute in it and then i just want all the outfits okay okay really bad okay yeah anyway i think that was her yeah
Marissa. No, wait. Yep. Marissa Abuela.
It does look like her.
This girl is Marissa Abuela. She was great.
You can add her to your list now.
This is actually why you're liking young people less. Because I do think whether you are conscious of it or not, you know that you wouldn't really want to make that decision.
No, it is clear. But I think I think when you're like watching Temptation Island and it's like, God, it's just like not doing it for me. I think it's because there's a subconscious streak now going through. Like, as you've said before, there has to be some reality to your fantasy.
To be with a younger person.
Yeah. So I think that's what's happening.
physically you aren't done having kids.
Right. Yeah, yeah. So you have also told me.
But the whole point that the reason that we have those genetics is still for status. It's for spreading your seed as far and wide as you can.
No, I'm not saying there's a mother nature rule, but I'm but it's it's still culture still subconscious.
That's what I was saying. Subconsciously, there is something in you that's like that's not a reality anymore. Right.
We all thought you did talk about that recently. Yeah.
It's either insecurity and they need this like, um, woman to raise their status because they're beautiful.
Exactly. If this person likes me, then you guys should all like me, right? Which I can relate to that.
Yeah. They they don't want it to be that serious. The older you get, most women want something a little more serious. So there's that. Yeah.
Probably, yes. I'm guessing, though. I would guess, too. Yeah. Anywho.
Oh, see, this is why it's so funny. I know I'm sort of an outlier. I've always liked older men.
Which is so opposite from men. You know? And I still do. I know from my female peers and friends. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cleacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacextext cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cle cleketeniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceniaceni����������eniket
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . in la in a
,, ,, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a gera a
,, ,, ,, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P G�.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G. ,G. ,G. ,G. , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,,,,,,,,.
P P P P P P G實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ac a ,,,,,,,.
P P P P P P G ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac ac in Laboratory P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P a la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ,G e la , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
they don't want to run a house. Right. So, and that feels emasculating and things like that. So this is where the whole, like not being with an ambitious, not being with an ambitious woman, it just is tricky.
I actually think culture can override it quite a bit over a long period of time. I don't think it's fast.
Yeah, probably. Even where this all started, where I think the culture has seeped in enough for you to be... You would be embarrassed to do something that... We were meant to do. Yes. That that's an indicator enough for me that like over time, things do change and then modeling changes. So like what your kids have seen is going to be different than their kids.
You know, it's just it's overall going to shift.
We'll be dead by then, I think. It's all right. Okay. Couple facts. Just a couple. Hot dog DNA. Ah, tell me. Yeah. Hot dog DNA. I've asked a lot of people this question that me and you had about would you rather eat someone's hair, eat their skin, or eat their... No, eat their... Skin, hair, saliva. Saliva, exactly.
Well, the whole thing is, no, not all hot dogs contain human DNA, but a 2015 study by Clear Labs found human DNA in 2% of the hot dog and sausage samples they tested, with two-thirds of those samples being vegetarian. I mean, it's really not that much. But then it just made us ask the question, what would you rather have of those three?
And I've been asking a lot of people... Oh, what's the consensus?
Yeah. You said saliva. You'd most like, you'd most rather have saliva.
Yeah. And I get, and like, I think a lot of people said saliva.
I do. And that is controversial. No one's agreed with me.
It has to be a head hair.
No, no, I don't think so. I don't know. I, oh my God.
Arm, pit? Arm's fine. Or arm?
Arm hair's fine. Yeah.
Yeah, me too. Thinner.
Much thinner. But the reason I say that, I think it's out of self-defense. It's because my hair is all over the place. And I think it's true that if you know me, you've eaten my hair.
Like to know me means you've eaten my hair.
So I don't want to be gross. So I guess I'm trying to like I'm lobbying that hair eating is fine.
Yeah, a lot of people. Someone said skin, which was shocking to me. That's the worst.
No, we're talking. OK, this is like a finger. Yeah, not no, not the whole finger.
Yeah, you wouldn't know.
Yeah. I know. I know. Nobody likes that. But the reason is, we've all done it.
Well, this is the other thing.
It's really long. The other thing is if there is a hair in my food, which again, has always happens a lot. I am always like, it's probably mine. I immediately say to myself, it's probably mine. And then I don't look at the color and I don't think about it.
Well, it's not mine if it's this small.
See, it could be yours. Yeah. Yeah, look, I do think I'm in a rare group about hair. That's cool, though. I can acknowledge that.
Okay, now the toothbrushing scene in Bring It On. Just gonna play that. Okay. Okay, she's brushing her teeth. He's putting the paste on Colgate, I think. Now he's brushing. They're like, it's kind of like meet cutie. They're going.
No, I forget. Okay, he spit. Still brushing.
He spit again. Oh, wow, okay. They're spitting and re-brushing. Now, I don't do this. I do it once. Okay, spit, spit. They're also not, they don't have toothpaste. All right, wow.
Anywho, well, that's that.
She has bad news. I love bad news.
Have you done it? Yeah, we had to do it. And I'm 100% Indian. Pure. That is incredible. I'm so pure.
We're just proud to be Mexican. Yeah, it's the search for identity here that you're right is a young country sort of thing. But also it's a college application thing. I think that's when most people start to really do the deep dive. So they're like, I'm 0.2% Native American.
Limited a dish?
Brown mouse.
Also, do it as a family or like as a friendship. It's really fun because you can get your results and you can read them together. It's fun.
Triple L. Triple L.
Somebody, yeah.
Have you heard of that? Delta had that. Did she? She did? Rose Aoli. Remember we kept calling it Aoli? Yes, in New York last summer. I have fevers. She didn't.
Oh, the story about your dad helping the bus driver was so sweet.
I had this suit made for nothing. Not me.
He is an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's got to let him have the facts.
Oh, there is? Mm-hmm.
Lionel said bloody? Yeah.
Israel. I mean, all Israel. No, Palestine.
It's like, gang, blame Santa Ana wins.
You live through a hurricane. We just forgot. And also 9-11, terrorism, like our memories are so short. We do forget that we go through these horrible periods and we recover from those periods and then they come back. You know, it is all temporary. It's really hard to say right now.
I don't dare say that again. One of our most treasured guests. Sacrilegious.
They all were. I want to thank the armchairs. I put out a post and said, what do you want to hear on Armchair Anonymous? And people really gave amazing props. So I appreciate that.
There you go. Yeah, go to New York where you're useful. Yeah, totally.
Yeah. It's also status right now. It's really cool to be friends with a firefighter right now.
Do you want a role play? I'm telling you now.
Are you not keeping it in my house right now?
We got that list of numbers that I'm going to delegate.
It's still there. Oh, yeah. As someone who edits... I think it's more Stern than it is NPR in a great way. Who doesn't love Stern?
But he's choosing his authentic honesty over, I love NPR, I don't want to be disparaging, but that's more curated and Stern is more honest.
And how to articulate it all.
Yeah, that's a good one. I'm starting to journal more.
I love electrolytes. We all know this. This is tried and true.
You've done Christmas with us.
So was it pre-pandemic?
Yeah, it was right before your birthday.
Right before the pandemic hit and right in the middle of a fire.
I really do. Because she's a two-time national champion. Are you? Well, state. I'm a two-time state champ. Cheerleading. I never did that. Yeah, competition, cheerleading. But it's in your list of things.
No, just winning anything at that level when you're in high school.
Well, that's another thing that not having a father around will do. It will make you a performer and a comedian. A hundred percent. It really will.
He joined us for Christmas as well.
I was at Molly's gym, and she has a Peloton. And every time I'm there, I try to sneak up there and get a little workout. Steal a little sash. Steal a sash, because it is so fun.
This is like a couple of years ago.
Yes. And any chance you can make working out fun, I'll take it.
In this situation. Well, you've always been really.
He's been around a few times.
It makes love so confusing for the rest of your life, I assume. A hundred percent. Who's to say what's real and what's not real. But then that's the question you live with forever. What is real?
And did the therapist tell you it was okay for you to tell your mom?
After you didn't get into Northwestern?
They also get a high off of being so stoic.
I love directing, but I don't know.
We're going to need a pic.
That's what college is about.
Oh, yeah. Don't you remember ABR?
Wow. Okay. So for the listeners, you still have the dark eyebrows, but the hair is quite blonde. Yeah.
Have you had the Titanic conversation? Like, who are you on the Titanic?
The movie. The film. Well, which is based on 100% reality.
Yeah, how do you feel about that?
I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater for me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
Yeah. Throw that back in the ocean. Yeah.
Seems like you'd need her if she gets out of the fire. That's the thing. Right now, I need her this week.
Another generous take on that is that they're worried that their identity will shift completely.
They're starting to contain a little more.
You also make your own shit. That's part of your genius. You do your own thing. So no one can take that from you. You'll keep doing your own thing.
Once every five years.
First floor, second floor, third floor. Every fucking basement.
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Yeah. But also you said it earlier, you grew up with a huge fear of loss. That does not go away. I have the exact same thing.
Thank you for that. Is it a lie because you haven't worked with us?
I was about to say, get swapped at the hospital.
Thank God for Tom Cruise.
Would you consider calling it the book of gad?
They take it from your gram.
I don't. I wear it for fact checks.
Yeah, you're growing your beard out.
It looks nice. A lot of volume? It looks fluffy.
Sure. You want to mix it up. Yeah. Do you think a little bit of this potentially has to do with we had a guest in who has like really fluffy hair?
OK. One of your classic compliments.
He's just cool. Maybe you go with some original words like cool.
Oh, I'm excited for that. I like a little danger.
And you don't like unicorns.
Your contradictions.
Dangerous but colorful is like... A flamingo because I think they think they're dangerous. Yeah, I do think they're actually hidden danger.
They're they're very tall.
That's your privilege because you're tall. So you could snap. But I'm too short. I wouldn't be able to reach.
No, this is like two fact checks in a row.
What about peacocks? Are they mean? No.
Those aren't colorful on purpose because they're trying to blend in. Right.
I feel that I'm drawn to birds, not in life, but in pictures.
I have a big photograph in my apartment of a woman. She has a cage on her head, but the bird is free.
It's like golden cage a little bit, but the bird is ready to get into it.
Also, I almost bought this other piece of art, not Anne Monsoor, New Lady. Okay. And it was also a woman with a bird. And I like immediately DM'd and was trying to get it.
And then I thought, how many things with birds can I have?
Okay, there's a picture that Lincoln painted of me when she was like five or six. She was really young. And Kristen painted a picture of me for Secret Turkey.
Oh, okay. I only have one. Okay. I think I have the one Lincoln made.
And it's in a drawer.
Yeah. I mean, I want people to see it, but... It invites a lot of questions.
Circumstance, perhaps. Maybe if I get on the apps, which I probably won't, but if I do, maybe that could be my little picture.
Yeah. So I have a little mystery too, but it's also being very obvious.
I'm not doing that.
Yeah. Also the Mao. I mean, that's why I also have this space. I've put some of my art of me here.
Yeah. Which we have a lot of. We do. But that lives in our workspace. That feels fine.
Yeah, but it's probably so inaccurate. Like, if I did a self-portrait.
Yeah, let's hear about it.
Oh! Friend of the pod.
What color hair does she have? White.
Yeah, but you might dye it.
That's my sort of plea is we're in it right now and we're in triage mode and we're dropping stuff off and we're X, Y and Z, which is all great. We need to be doing it, but we need to be doing it in a month, in two months, in a year. This is going to be easy to forget, just like all natural disasters are. But this is a long haul and it's going to take a long time.
What do you mean? I need more.
Toto is 6'9". Yes. In my heart.
Were you like this? Like you couldn't get your arm?
Oh, okay. All right.
It was very sweet. I didn't watch.
Twins? So he's not... Wait, I'm confused now.
Let me look up this person. Hold on.
OK, what I'm talking about. Wow. OK, for the listener who doesn't know Dan Campbell, it's everything I'm saying. No, I'm about to say the actual opposite. The way you describe him is not accurate. OK, I'm imagining who God, how do I. OK, I can't do this well.
But not muscular, really.
But when you say water buffalo, you have to understand what people imagine.
It's not. Anyway, he's hot for the listener. This man is very attractive and he's not... What Dax explained, and he does look really tall and very muscular and fit.
Yeah. And we talk about it.
And a very handsome face.
Look, I'm not here to make you feel... Okay, first of all, there we are together. Yeah. Look, I see what Aaron's saying.
I encourage people to keep an eye on us and keep donating and keep helping if you can, of
Yeah, I get it. Yeah. I get it.
I thought you meant he died or something.
Oh, this guy is attractive.
No. We already established he was. Now this new guy is also very attractive, and he is 38.
Correct. Oh, my God.
Well, if I'm dating him.
Oh, this guy was at the Lions?
That would be fun. That would be really fun.
Oh, yeah, how fun. Okay, wait. Real quick, you're not letting me get a compliment out. I agree with Aaron in that picture. You guys do look similar.
Now, you know what it's like to be me. Like when I hug big men.
Yeah, it it has a very specific feel.
Wow. And that's very unlike you.
And do you not feel that with Aaron?
Wow. That's a first. I've not heard you say that about anyone. Hence my giddiness. Because you like getting into it.
Pin in this. I want to circle back to something, but... Okay, great.
Yeah. There's some fire talk, but it's a really armchair episode because it's funny. Josh is so funny, but also it's pretty deep. We talk about his dad and a lot of and his insecurities. I don't know. I thought it was a really beautiful encapsulation of what we try to do here.
Oh, that's why they have to pay you a lot.
Oh, cute. That is like McConaughey. Big time.
Oh, he looks great. Yep.
People do this. Now you understand my knocking on wood.
Good. Remember when I thought that Trump won because my ring was off my finger? Yeah. And you said you're not that powerful.
You said it in a nicer way, but you did say that.
Sure. We'll tell them now. Here, you're not.
That's how I feel about Trump. I still feel it. I still feel like potentially it was the ring and the bee.
Yeah, it'll happen.
Me too. It's like a treat, which is so nice to have a treat and... I have to resist eating too many nighttimes because they're so delicious. I know. Don't eat too many.
Yes, I did. So this is a big pivot, but it did remind me that while you were at the game, I had therapy.
I had two big epiphanies.
Guided by my incredible- Your spiritual advisor? Yes, she's- she really is worth her money.
Well, yeah, I was like, maybe I just go to once a month and now I'm like, I got to go back to two times a week. So the fires, you know, it was the first time I'd seen her since then. Yeah. And first of all, January sucks. I'm going to say that just, just like as a fact.
January is the worst month of the year. It's horrible. Bad things happen. Yeah.
Three out of the five last Januaries have been horrendous.
Januaries are bad. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry that your birthday is in there, but like it's a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad month.
Yeah. Weather sucks. People die. Like things go up in flames literally. It's bad. But I do think they've all like taught me something. I've come out of the I walked into February with new information. It's been a gloomy January for a lot of reasons. Yeah. And I was talking to her about that. Obviously, for the fires, we were fine. Right. We didn't have to evacuate. Our houses are OK.
Exactly. So lucky. But still, it's just been like, oh, my God, there's so much loss everywhere. Every day you're hearing about somebody else, you know, who lost everything and you're trying to figure out how to help. And it's just like overwhelming. So I kind of figured it was just that I was like, I think I'm just overwhelmed by everything. Everything going on. Then we kind of got to that.
It was, I think, more than that and more personal. And I think people who are sort of struggling through this here who didn't who didn't have like massive loss, but are still struggling. Yeah. Because I know a couple of people who are like depressed, who aren't normally like I'm surprised.
And I realized that like in the moment, especially in the moment when you're packing your bag up and it's I mean, you're panicked because you're like, I might have to be out of here in like 10 minutes. You're standing in your house or apartment or whatever. And you are faced with the two most. like deepest, most existential questions that we have, which are, who do you really have?
And what do you really need? And it's both at the exact same time. Yeah. In a moment of panic, like you have to know the answer. Yeah. And I think we walk around with so much false security about those questions. Like we think we know or it's fine. But this is like push comes to shove. What's the what's your reality?
Yeah. Yeah. If you're forced to ask those questions and the answer is I don't know, it's very heavy.
It's very unsettling and destabilizing and like you feel untethered. Yeah. And I think that's potentially what, that's definitely what I am feeling and what I think other people might be feeling too. It's just going to take some time to process.
But I found that helpful to know like, oh, that's what I'm sort of struggling with.
It's a deeper, it's much deeper.
Yeah. Also, she told me, and this was also fascinating is in times of true crisis. And this also happens like in death. Um, People become their truest, like most base version of themselves.
And like not the person they've worked on becoming or are mostly.
But who they are at their core. Yeah. And it's so true. I was thinking about who I was and who other people were in my life and what was kind of what I was bringing up about.
But I don't know if it's genetic so much as. Yeah. Yes. But also what you did when you were a kid, how you coped, how you like a lot of. Like your biggest fears, your insecurities, those things come to the forefront and they're leading the charge. Like they are the thing that comes out. It's wild.
But you're still a person. You're still a person in there. You still have a personality.
Yes. I think there's like two things happening. One is like what you're doing. Right. And then the other is what you're thinking, who you are in those moments. Like it is it's different. Right. Like we talked about this before where it was sort of the first time I had to be like, I have to do everything. I have to figure out what I'm taking. I have to load it in the car.
I have to make sure I have this and this. Things I don't normally things I normally just say, like whoever I'm with is going to do half of that stuff.
And so I'm doing it. But what's coming up and who I am in it and what I'm thinking is like, I have nobody. I am abandoned. I am really all I have is myself. I'm scared. Yeah. First and foremost, like that's I'm scared. I'm a I'm a fearful person. And I have overcome a lot of that in life, but not in this circumstance. I can't. So it's like it's at a 10.
And it also was... I think important for me to have understanding for how everyone's behaving. Like everyone is going to behave quite differently because we're all different and had much different life experiences and deal with trauma in very, very, very different ways. Cause like on Tuesday, Tuesday night, the first night when it was starting, I was like, You know, texting with a lot of people.
And I was like, I don't even know... I don't know what to do. I don't know how do we... Callie and I were both like, well, yeah, we don't know what to do here. Like, where do we go? What do we do? We were also like kind of joking. Of course. And then I was also texting with Jess. And in my head, I was like, well, Jess... is down the street. So like, that's easy. We'll go.
And then at like nine, the other, we start, I started looking at the other fire, the Eaton fire, and it is getting like bigger and bigger. And I called him and he was asleep. And I was like, Oh my God, how can you possibly go to sleep right now? Like, this is crazy. And then I was like, yeah, I think that's who he is in, in crisis. He like really, like, But to almost like whatever happens.
Disassociated. Disassociated. Whatever happens is going to happen. I can't really control it. So I'm just going to go to bed.
Well, of course, but that's your expertise.
Hmm. That's a good question.
Well, there were multiple things. There was so much happening then that that is more complicated.
That's a good question. I mean, I guess I'm probably I'm probably reaching out to people that will confirm. But but more I'm I'm especially in this case. I I know like I know for certain that you aren't panicked about. Yeah. Right. Yes. Yes. Yes. Me reaching out to you.
That's Eric Larson. Eric Larson, one of my favorite authors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unbelievable. We've had him on the show. Not to brag.
All I would have said is like, I'm really scared.
And then I think my fear then is if you respond without compassion.
That will upset me.
So what's the point? Right. Like I know where you stand on it and I'm not sure.
Which would have been helpful, I'm sure. But I don't know in that moment... What is out of 10 is I'm alone.
So... I don't think like all I was really trying to do subconsciously is confirm that I'm not. Right. Or that I am. Right. Get some validation or confirmation. Yeah. And so I don't I don't know. I mean, I was texting the range of people that I was texting was not they were not wasn't all panic again, just slept. So I was like, OK. Yeah.
Yeah. You don't need to be good at meeting me at anxious. Like, I don't think that's good.
Yeah. But maybe they were sitting with some of these things.
And I think I know that about you. And sometimes that is where we butt heads because I feel like I can, should, it's okay for me to care.
And scared and whatever.
But do you think and whatever answers. Right. My guess is you think I overreact a lot in general, just in general as a person.
I feel that you... that I get upset over things... Well, I do. I get upset over things that you don't get upset over.
To me, that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The things I get upset over, I believe are upsetting. Yeah. And I think... It's okay to be upset about those things. And I understand that you don't. I do think at one point in our long friendship, I was like, why aren't you upset about this? I used to be like that towards you. I don't understand why you're not upset about this. This is upsetting.
I don't think that anymore at all. And I respect that you don't, but I... I wonder if we can go right at it.
Well, it's just very subjective. Like you cry and people come in here and they cry and they're allowed. And it's actually some it's to me, it's an asset, not crying. But but what we've built here and I do think it's we have built here a a place of honesty. Yeah. And to come in and to plaster a smile when I'm scared or there's fires or there's an election that I think is deeply disturbing to me.
Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying we need to like wallow in it, but I think it would be such a disservice, not just to me, to this show, to our audience, to what we've built here, to pretend like... those things aren't upsetting.
OK, but we are running low on time.
Yeah, we have facts. OK, so this is for. Oh, and I guess it's timely that we talked about the fires and stuff because this is for Josh. Yeah.
That he's a perfect guest. He is.
He really is. I DM'd him and said so.
Sweetheart. OK, Josh Gad, you can gift up to $18,000 tax free, but now it's $19,000. Great news. Great news for everyone. You said your grandparents took you to Scarface in 1981 on opening day and you were six and it was 83.
Well, eight is still young.
But you know what? We already know that you wouldn't remember it if it was six. So it actually makes more sense that you were eight.
skeptical of them but I could take a polygraph well yeah because you believe it so you'll pass it I know every time someone says now and I feel bad but when people say like oh yeah I was three and I remember I'm like you don't but okay I'm reading Bill Gates book right now oh he might because I believe it yeah but his brain's different than most people's so speaking of yeah Easter egg.
I guess we can talk about this later. Maybe if you want. Okay. Have you started telepathy tapes?
About neurodivergent, mainly nonverbal autism.
Yes, she did. Most of the girls are listening to it in our group. Okay. And nonverbal autism. A lot of people have stories about their children.
I haven't got there yet. But also they mainly with their like parents often. I mean, I'm only I'm only one episode. I do think the human brain.
Than we'll ever know.
And I think, I kind of do think anything is possible.
Yeah. He says there's little science to back any of that up.
I don't know about the over miles because I'm not there. Well, someone said something really interesting about they were like, we've all in some ways communicated telepathically, like nonverbally to people we are very hyper connected to. Sure. And just in a room, you know, you can feel we can feel energy shifting. There's real.
Yes, yes, yes. We've had them on. I know you've had it.
But don't you think even when we're sitting here, I'm sitting there next to you. You can't see my face.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. And vice versa, I do too.
I know, but I think that's a little like... That's a little rigid, I think. OK. All I'm all I'm trying to say is I think people do communicate nonverbally a lot. We don't even really recognize it.
And I do think people are on a scale of how attuned they are to other people's energies. And it depends on the person. Definitely.
And so I don't know. I'm open to that being the truth.
Yeah. Remember the woman we had on... About hiring more neurodivergent people? Yes. And she herself is neurodivergent. Yes. And remember, like, she has synesthesia. She had the opposite of... She could just pull the meaning from a book from basically staring at the pages. Like, she does have skills that just...
That's all very interesting. And I don't know why I brought that up. There was a. Oh, memories, maybe memories about memories. OK, real quick. He said the funniest person he ever worked with was Andrew. Reynolds minus us.
Exactly. But we have not worked with him. So then it brought up this interesting question.
I don't count that.
Then that brought up this interesting philosophical question that's in my book, Intermezzo. There's a really interesting question that comes up in this book I'm reading that's sort of similar to this of what's truth and what's a lie. And I'm going to, we'll talk about it next week. I'll bring it up.
Okay, I will. That's kind of, that's it.
I mean, GLP-1s, that was a really interesting question. Topic and conversation, I thought. I was happy he talked about it.
But also, yeah, they're just doing so much. They're finding so much interesting stuff about GLP-1s. And I'm interested.
Yeah. Yeah. It's really wild.
I kind of want to try it.
Not for weight loss. No, not for weight. Yeah. Not, not even for what I just want to see. Like, what does it do on my psyche?
interesting yeah again it sounds all great but beneficial to me it might highlight what your addictions are because if you stop wanting something it might tell you like actually you crave that a lot yeah yeah anyway um all right so that's it all right i rode my bike by your house today oh you did yeah did you wave yeah love you love you
He's an armchair expert He's in love with me
Is that what it is? Yes, yes.
It's a show called... I'm moving on to Adele. I can't explain this, dude. What was he talking about?
And I loved it.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Oh my God, we're wearing the same shoes. We're wearing the same pants. We have tank tops on. Oh my God. And we have sweaters on.
We are the same.
We're the exact same person. We are one.
Hello. How are you?
Look at this. Can we do a full display for you? So matching sneakers, matching pants. We both are in a tank top. Oh my God. We both have a thumbnail.
No, you're in a sweater and it's in denim.
So it's not true.
Yeah, really good.
I'm good. Wow. It is really soft.
He doesn't want to. Don't make him. Okay, but it is starting to fall apart.
Do you love it? It is soft.
It's impressed a lot. Yeah. I did that on purpose. Where is it? Oh, my God.
I can't believe.
Well, it didn't get smaller. It got compacted.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I would say his pool table upstairs, definitely.
Annette? I never heard that word before neither. So I said karate school. Karate school.
Wow, this is so exciting.
Good God.
This is something.
Okay, do you practice, you know how people can get good at crosswords by understanding how crosswords work?
Is that how Jeopardy is where you can learn tricks kind of or not really?
I also knew you were tall, but you seem extra tall today. Did you grow? Okay.
You know what I liked when we had James Morrison on? He said he wore lifts. It was very nonchalant, but he threw it in there, and I liked that.
Very meet cutie.
This was 17 years ago. I'm real, I'm real.
Oh my God. Can you imagine though if you were not a celebrity and someone came up and asked, will you take a picture? And they got in the picture with you. That's what's happening in their brain. It's scary. Wild, yeah.
Maybe they're used to that, to being like, oh, I got to get to Miami.
I don't believe any of this.
That's where the best ideas come from.
Yeah. It's packaged.
Seth just said that.
My goodness.
I'm working on something.
Thank you.
Well, how long does it take? To rebound? How long does it take to rebound? Yeah.
You thought it was like vintage?
The irony that it literally almost full circles into gay.
Like, it starts off so masculine, and then you're like jerking each other off.
Oh, loved it.
He does it all.
He was at UCB during my time, so I saw him on stage all the time.
No, it's like watching somebody open somebody's present. You said, this is the best joke I've ever come up with, and then we have to watch a reaction.
It's kind of good. It's like humbling in some ways for actors.
And he's a Jeopardy guy.
Ew, do the bathrooms at clubs just stink?
And everyone has diarrhea.
David Sedaris. I think we have five. I know.
Who else have we had in that club?
Bradwell is up there.
But you've done a live show for us. That gives you an extra.
I can see that happening. You're very busy.
Champion. Thank you.
I'm sure we did it on the fact check back then and we will have to do it again.
Look at that. Look at that. I was maybe going to cut it. Now I can't.
Got him.
Oh, fun.
It's a big deal.
Um, okay.
Yesterday was such a weird day for me.
You know, in television.
The industry.
In television series, sometimes there's an episode called a bottle episode. It's an episode that's sort of a one-off episode in the middle of the series that normally doesn't really take place in the same location. It has fewer of the like regular characters. It's sort of a one-off.
Exactly.
Um, yesterday was the bottle episode of my life. Oh, okay. I had a bottle episode. Okay. Wow. Yesterday I had to, we had nothing. We weren't recording.
It was going to be great. Uh-huh. You know, I was going to have time to edit and get ahead. Yeah. Me too.
Grindstone. Yeah. But I did have one thing to do, which is go to Santa Monica for my face.
Shout out again to Jen at Corrective Skin Care. She's just changed my face.
I'm so grateful for her. Anyway, so I had to go to Santa Monica, but...
Sometimes they're nice.
Yeah, if you cared about that, I'm sure.
Skin is skin, but not really. Like the issues that you'd have on your face are probably different than the ones on your butt cheeks. I don't know which specific ones you're referring to.
Well, do you just want to get it waxed? I mean, I mentioned hair earlier.
OK. Well, I think first step would be that.
And then some sort of serums and moisturizers.
Could she make it brown? I don't think so. You could do self-tanner.
Yeah. If you really care.
It's a tint. I think. I mean, it might help. I don't know.
That's nice. You could get another spray. You could get back into spray tan.
Why don't you just also you could suntan them.
Do you want to go to my house and do it?
I mean, I might randomly come to my house.
The chances are less.
Yes. Yes. She's the best. But normally we're... All circles back. Circles? Oh, my God.
So we normally are recording. So I have to go after we're recording, which means I have to do a whole thing, right? Like I plan the face appointment at 445 so that I can just stay in Santa Monica.
That's what happens. And then sometimes every now and then you talk on the way home.
So this time, since we didn't have anything, I was like, oh, I can schedule it midday. And I can try to avoid some of this crazy traffic.
So I scheduled it for 12. Relaxing morning. Actually, I had a tiny bug. Okay. So I went to bed at 8 the night before and I woke up at 10.
I'm surprised by that a little bit.
I really needed it, I think. I still didn't feel that great when I woke up, but better based on the sleep. But anyway, so I go to Santa Monica.
Don't say that. Why couldn't it have smelled good?
You know, one time Delta came over. We stopped by my house to get something and we were going shopping. And she came into my room and she said, it smells like Monica in here. I love this smell.
Anyway, so I go and drive there. It takes forever, but it's fine. It's fine. And face appointment goes great. I decide I'm going to go. This is an hour, 15 minute drive, right? It's fine. Then I decide I'm going to go to R&D Kitchen afterwards. Oh, what a treat.
Montana Street, drive there, sit at the bar, have my delicious chicken sandwich, have a cookie.
Secret cookie. They have secret cookies there. And I don't know if I'm allowed to say that. Sorry, R&D, but that's what happened. Get back in the car. I'm like, okay, it's an hour. It's saying it's an hour and three minutes. I hate that place. I know, but okay. All right. It's fine. Start driving back. It's going to be longer than an hour and three it's looking like, but I'm like, it's okay.
I still have time. I'm going to get my work done. It's okay. Everything's okay. Don't panic.
I'm on the highway. All of a sudden, the- Tire warning light comes on. The light comes on. It shows me which tire. And I was like, oh, maybe it's just like nothing. Maybe just low air pressure. Sure. And then it is dropping so fast. Okay. And it hits zero. Mm-hmm. And I was like, I wonder if I can keep going. Yeah. I don't think it's smart. Let me pull over and see.
So I got off in Culver City, still extremely far. I had not made it very far.
So I get off. I go into this parking lot. And luckily, my dad had forced me over Christmas to buy this basically plastic air pump. Oh. And it's really cool. It's digital. You like plug it in. It tells you what the pressure is and you can fill it up. So it did say zero, and I tried to fill it up, and it could only get to five. Okay. So it was clear there was a big issue here.
Then I am really, like, deflated. Defeated. I'm in fucking Culver City. Time is a ticking.
Exactly. Traffic is just going to get so bad. I don't really know what to do because— Big grievance. Cars don't have spare tires anymore. Right.
Okay, but I couldn't have because I ended up having to move the car to another parking spot because this woman was mad at me. Yeah. And then, and it was like so bad driving from one parking spot to the other. Okay. Because these are drive flat tires. Run flats. The idea, what's it called? Run flats. Sorry, run flat tires. It's the idea that you can go like 50 miles on low, whatever.
But that's not true. I couldn't even go one parking spot over. Anyway, this was all horrible. I didn't know what to do. I texted you. I called you. You were on Kristen's set. And then you were texting me some places I could take the car. But I was like, Oh, God, then I'm going to be stuck in Culver City. Like, this is a disaster. Luckily, my dad forced me to get AAA. Actually, he pays for it.
Mm-hmm. New show on Netflix.
I know. It's really sweet. And so I called AAA, and it says it's going to be an hour. I was like, oh, my God. Just, I want to die, you know?
Yes, but also I'm like, but I have to, like, I have to get it. I got to do work. What am I going to do? And it says it's going to be an hour away. And then it's not, it's only 15 minutes.
Yes. But the thing is, we decide, you help me decide, that the smartest thing to do is for us to tow the car to our area.
Who you know and you love. And so I was like, God, I'm going to be in this car with this stranger.
Yeah, yeah. You can.
Right. But yeah. So, so I'm like, I'm going to have to be in a car with this stranger for like an hour and a half. Well, I had already worried about that. I was like, what if I Tonka and then I have to pull up, like, what am I going to do anyway? So this man comes to pick me up and he gets out of the truck and he's like, what happened? I was like, this is already a disaster.
And I was like, well, he was like, did you hit something? I said, I, maybe, I don't know.
Yeah. Well, no, it was more like, I don't know what happened, sir.
I am just a little girl. And then he said, okay. And he, you know, puts it up there and I get in his car. And then I share my location with Jess. Cause I was like, I just, this is uncomf. Like I'm about to be in a car. that's scary to me being in a car with a stranger. And I was very skeptical.
And so then he starts talking immediately. He's chatty, you know, well, first he says, how long do you have to wait? I said, Oh no, long at all. Oh good. And then he like goes into a very long spiel about sometimes people have to wait hours. It's not his fault. It's because the line didn't train, you know, he didn't get the call. And then his son calls. He takes the call with the son. Yeah.
He's around, I would guess, 70, I learned.
Correct.
Yeah, but his son is like 30.
So he then tells me about his son and he's worried about his son, but he's doing good, but he's worried. He does have some mental health problems. And then we talk the whole ride. He's going three miles an hour.
A little bit. And I did think, oh, my God, because we the shop closed at five. This was around three. And I was like, I don't know that we're even going to make it. So, you know, I'm having a lot of this turmoil of like, I just don't want to be here. Yes. I don't want to be here. I'm stuck here. This is fucking sucks. My day is ruined.
Yep. And, and then I'm like, I gotta like start doing email or talking to someone. And, and then he, he said, his name is Ted.
Says, you know, kind of kids these days are really addicted to their phones and he'll have a lot of people on that are just, you know, they're addicted to their phones. And so I was like,
Yeah. I was like, I can't, I need to be present here. Yeah. And then he said some really sweet stuff about he likes being the part of people's day. Like it's, you know, their day has gone bad. Yep. And he likes to.
Yeah. He likes to help people. And then I was like, you know what? I'm just going to be present for Ted.
Not going to answer the phone. Then we talked the whole way.
So, so nice and kind and sweet and lovely. And it was a bottle episode. It mostly took place in the car.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And yeah, he told me all these all these sweet stories about his life. And I just really, really enjoyed Ted. Well, first he said, first he looked at me and he said, you're Filipino.
Yeah. And I said, no, no, I'm not Indian. He said, I knew that. I know that.
I wasn't offended.
And he was so good hearted.
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I think you're a one of one in that category. I'm jealous.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, shit. Yeah. Okay. Rob has an update.
He went back to the coffee shop.
He went back to the coffee shop and he got this merch that says Atelier BF.
Calvin was there.
Your kids are the sweetest.
It is really. I feel bad that we aren't giving this to Vinny.
Oh, we can collect?
This is Mocha. It says barista Mocha and designer Fluffy Boy and Brown are longtime best friends.
Brown. So maybe, okay, Rob is Mocha, you're Fluffy Boy, and I'm Brown.
Wow, that's really cute.
Yeah. Um, all right. Well, we're a little bit on a time crunch. I did do a, yeah, we'll save that for next time. No, we'll save it for next time. Um, okay. So this is for Ike. We just love Ike so much. Now, you said there's a saying 10 feet tall and something. And then you said bulletproof? There's a song called 10 Feet Tall and Bulletproof. It's by Travis Tritt, 1994.
There's also a ding, ding, ding quote from Eastbound and Down, 10 feet tall and strong as an ox.
Richest man in Mexico, Carlos Slim.
Yeah. Ooh.
Cost of Bitcoin to $85,675. That's a little lower?
Well, I don't remember the lowest it's gone so far, but it's been declining. Okay. Now, what is EBITDA?
A company's earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, and amortization. That's a hard word for me, amortization.
Uh-huh.
Yeah. And it'd be like if you around me and you kept calling it Indian.
Oh, interesting.
I like that.
Oh, nice. Okay. Is progeria when you're aging really quickly? Yes. Rare genetic disorder that causes premature aging in children.
Who was the other person in Jeopardy! semifinals with Ike? There was Ben Chan and then Jared Watson, right? He was the other one.
I'm so proud of Jackie. That's awesome.
He said 1995 Bill Clinton signed National Hugs Act. That was a joke.
It's not real. Okay. And I'm sad about it.
I wish it was real.
I guess we did dodge a bullet there. Okay. Did Marilyn Manson.
Well, I don't think you would like some person coming up to you random going, honk, honk, tune in Tokyo.
Okay. Did Marilyn Manson take his ribs out so he could suck his own dick? No.
He didn't do it.
Did Bruce Springsteen kiss Clarence Clements? Oh. Yes.
They kissed many times.
At the end of the song Thunder Road. Clarence said that it just happened spontaneously the first time because Bruce was kneeling down by him. They loved each other like brothers and it just seemed natural. Then I guess they made it into a thing. Okay. He talked about eating a gigantic sandwich.
The way he was talking about that sandwich.
I wanted it so bad. And then I ate, I got a gigantic sandwich immediately after he left.
No, it was turkey. What's a Dagwood?
But is it different than a sub? Dagwood.
Oh, interesting. Okay. Anyway, I think he could sell sandwiches like as a second career.
Just by saying I ate a sandwich, like it really got me. Okay. Who's the rat race actor who looks like Ike? His name is Vince V. Loof.
V-I-E-L-U-F. Is fucking through a sheet.
Well, that is no question.
But no. Is it a thing in the Hasidic Jewish community? No. Let's just put that to rest.
And then Mezal Tov, you say at the end of the episode, that's an old callback. You used to say it all the time. Our early listeners will remember it well.
You weren't saying it because measles have had an outbreak. You, it was an old callback. Um, that's it.
He's a great person.
We love mixed messies.
All right. Love you.
Maybe some people don't know who are listening, so we should maybe explain it.
And I guess we should say I don't feel bad spoiling this.
But Thursday we have.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, of course. That's just part of the deal.
Gooning is like an onomatopoeia.
It sounds how it is.
Wednesday we have Seth on.
I would watch for a little and see if I wanted to keep going. I can't say now that I would stick for the whole day.
Yes. To talk about the show.
Yeah. You know what's sad?
But I'll be honest. You're right. If I was watching a live stream, that's probably a no-go. But if I thought it was about me.
Oh, my God. Somebody has that.
So this is Studio Week.
Was the answer seven?
Yeah. I don't feel it. Not really.
I'll send you a picture of my hair wall. I do a hair wall.
The only time I ever blow dry it is if I'm getting it done.
I didn't mean to turn this into compliments. You're allowed to have something that is just fucking perfect. Okay. Speaking of insecurities, it is the only thing I am secure about. We're all allowed to have one. One? Yes.
I know you want me to say I love my boobs.
Yeah, like we have too many options.
Like that over and over.
Well, because the men and boys did the choosing back then. But that's why I think it's changing. Because now girls, women, all of us ladies, we are, you know, more educated. You're making more money. Many more things than sex objects. Exactly. And so I don't have to just say yes to your proposal. And it used to just be like, oh, this guy is asking me out. I guess I have to say yes.
You're waiting to be asked. Yeah, that's a really good point.
You wanted to be famous so that if you were, that's the world telling you you are hot.
Oh, well, do you think they'll send us some merch? Because I would really love a shirt that says that.
Oh, yeah. Dairy Queen. I was in sixth grade and a boy said he couldn't date me. He liked me, it seemed, but he couldn't date me because my parents worked at Dairy Queen. They didn't work at Dairy Queen, but a lot of Indian people worked at Dairy Queen. So he couldn't date me because I was Indian. So then that was obviously the moment where I was like, oh, so what? No one can date me.
That's a fundamental thing about me. That's a no for people. He represents everyone. Everyone. Because why wouldn't he? You're in sixth grade. Because you liked him. And I liked him. Yeah. You know, so it's like the people I like don't like this about me. So this is going to be a fun life.
He didn't say it to my face. He said it to a friend. A friend was like, why don't you ask Monica out? Oh, this is important. He said, I would, but. So it's not like, I just don't like her. It's like, I would, but I can't because she's Indian, basically. Whoa. And not because she's Indian. Like, I don't like the culture. That would make me feel different, probably. You know, that's the subtext.
Oh, my God. Is that stay with you to this day? I am fucked up for life from that one thing.
Oh, you never have a chance with them. Yeah, exactly. It's like they're so unavailable. So they can't reject me. Yes. I'm picking the quarterback of the football team when I'm a sophomore.
Does this go on for you now? Now, really, I'm just like, if it falls into my lap, that's great. I do so little pursuing of dating. But still, it's because rejection is still so horrific for me.
Gracious loser face they call it.
I'm like, I should. And then sometimes I do. And you're right. I always feel better after, but forcing it. And same with working out. You know, you will always feel better. You've never left the gym being like, why did I do that?
Yeah. You're not a bad person. No.
So I can't be. Instead of you thinking you're a bad person, you could channel it to whoever else is probably not a bad person. The other Swifty, the other person who's writing something shitty about her. Instead of saying, I'm a bad person because I did that. Instead, it's like, I'm not a bad person and I did that. So they're probably not a bad person either.
Yeah. I mean, also, you can listen. You can keep listening. No one has to watch this. If you if you prefer to listen, you should listen. But some people really enjoy seeing a visual. And we've enjoyed it more than we thought. We've enjoyed doing it more than we thought. So we figured, you know, why not offer that up when we can?
Also, we do have guests coming up that are on video because of that exact thing where it just they don't want to be on camera. They don't want to be on camera.
Slash even we've made some decisions like this specific person is probably better to not.
Because it's more intimate for them.
Yeah. Me and you both have Sim stories and we've been dying to tell each other.
You do? Okay, because mine's going to be less.
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine to go first. Mine isn't.
Is that what we were saying?
But M. Night Shyamalan, I get it. It's like you don't, you really don't know.
Okay, so my Sim story is our last fact check. We were talking about dating and... Oh, the matchmaker. The matchmaker. And the ghosting. The ghosting. You saying, I wish you would just go talk to people. Yeah.
And, you know, in the calling business, not the exactly not the incoming call business. OK, so we had that whole conversation. The next day I was on Instagram, the Instagram app.
And there was someone whose story I saw that I thought was fantastic. I follow this person and really, really like this person from afar. I don't know. I don't know him. But our paths have crossed many moons ago.
Oh, no, no. He is so funny. I just find him to be the funniest person. And so anyway, I'm watching these videos and I'm laughing and I text a friend who I know sort of knows him.
And I said, hey. Blank. Hey, this person's name. Yeah. Is he straight and single? Do you know?
She said, I'm pretty certain he's straight. I don't know if he's single.
She said, I'm almost certain he's straight. I don't know if he's single.
Yes. And she said the last time I saw him, I was walking around the reservoir. So we should start walking around the reservoir. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. That's great. That's fun. We made some jokes. OK.
I mean. I guess, like, it's sort of half joking. Like, we're not really going to just, like... But maybe let's anyways.
Sure. The next day, the next day, I was walking down the street and I walked past him.
Like had such a visceral react for so many reasons. One, it was.
I know. Oh, I know you're not going to like where this goes, but it was it was it was like the what's the universe doing? Is it is it telling me like.
And I walked past him and I went to the store.
Well, I didn't want to stare. Okay. I got it. I got a shock to my system because of the overwhelm of the coincidence.
And I did not want. To make a thing. And so I went to this store and just like jumped into this- To hide. Store to hide. Collect yourself. And text my friend, of course. Oh, right. And she said, did you say hi? And I said, no, I don't. I don't know how to say hi. I said, I don't know how. Hi. And then she said, and then this is why things get kind of confusing, right?
Because then she was like, okay, yeah, maybe that is best. Maybe, I know, I know you wouldn't like that part. Give me her number. No, she said. Do I already have her number? I think so.
She said, maybe you should, like an introduction is better. And so then I was like, yeah, I don't know. Anyway, I shopped at the store. I probably bought something.
And then I walked back out and back past.
Exactly. I walked back past and I like shook my head a little bit.
Yeah. And that was it. It was just wild.
And I, okay. And then I told Jess about this and he was like, you told yourself if this happened again, you would say something. And I forgot I did do that. Like, remember the guy I saw in New York who I thought was so hot and I thought, oh, I should just say, hey, you're so, hey, just so you know, you're so attractive.
Have a great day. Remember after him, I was like, I should have said it. Yeah. And then after the hot guy at the bar, at the, at, Brentwood Country Mart. What's the bracelets?
Yeah, that doesn't count. But the other guy at Brentwood Country Mart that was so attractive.
I know, I am starting to think.
It was... Well, I didn't know how... I could take it as I'm mad at myself. I should have said something or... Wow. The universe loves me. Sure. Gave me something. I'm not. I didn't do anything about it.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Wait, okay. What happened again? Yeah, you told...
What are you doing here?
He didn't give a fuck about any of that.
I know. That was so funny. Okay. Anyway, so that was just, that was so, the next day.
You had a whole bit there though. You got to rip off Benson Boone's clothes. That was great.
As long as she's the first.
No, I want to be the first.
Okay. Now you have a sim moment too. Now let's hear it.
I thought when this first popped up, I thought it was something for the show. I thought something in the museum.
The Dax listed at about $20 each. I'm going to read the whole thing.
I could belong here, but I wasn't really.
We got to get one, obviously.
No, 100 in modern times.
Oh, we're not going there.
You didn't cry about this.
I know. That's how I am feeling. Like, yeah. How explicit do they have to be the sim engineers? That's nuts. And they're begging. I think they want to. I'm getting nervous, though, because Eric says the more we're on to it, they'll unplug. They'll start unplugging.
No, but we still need it.
Yeah, we need that in here. A hundred percent. So this is a ding, ding, ding-ish because my favorite podcast, Nobody's Listening Right with Elizabeth and Andy. Elizabeth loves signs like this. She lost both of her parents when she was quite young. So she often... sees them in the universe and they're winking at her.
She loves that. And I, and, and I like it too. And that is a sign from the universe. It was a sign. It was a sign to like, keep going.
Yeah. Yeah, you did say this.
I love that. I really love that.
Also, you know, we have a friend who did hypnosis. And I think I've said this before, but I think about it all the time.
Listen to that episode. That was an interesting episode. Yeah. I got hypnotized real time on this show.
Yeah. Now, this friend got hypnosis to stop vaping. Part of it is you say, I used to do that. I don't do that anymore. Never again.
I think it's so, I think the, I don't do that anymore.
Is so strong. It's actually, it's like the past, the present, the future, all in one thing.
Yes. But the present is the one that is the most impactful. And it's similar to, it is okay.
I don't do that anymore.
Yeah, but it's tricky because some things... Some things never change. Some things, I guess, depending on your addiction, some things don't go away. There's something to me about the mantra, if you're really trying to quit something, of just like... Not like I won't want this because I think that's a lie for certain things, for certain people and certain addictions.
Like, I think it's not like, don't worry, you won't want this soon because that's not a reality. It might not be a reality. It's just like, yeah, I used to do that. I don't do that anymore.
You that's that's a miracle. Yeah.
I don't know if that's for everyone though.
This is a ding, ding, ding, because this is for Nikki. And we do talk about addiction.
Yeah, but not... I mean, I guess the armchairs are my good friends. Yeah. I got two numbers that week.
I played it really cool. And... Too cool? Well, no, because... You exchanged numbers.
And, you know, I didn't. I sat back.
Like, as she was leaving, you got her number.
And then I, you know, I went in the corner during that part.
She was like, oh, God, what's she doing?
And then she reached out to me.
You do. Yeah. I don't. Like, I will never.
If they, I will never instigate it. Ever.
This is back to me and you at the bar.
You get the, you always, you're just like, give me your number.
Yeah, she's so great. She's so great. Okay, a couple little fackies. Gracious loser face.
And and Rachel is teaching him about gracious loser.
Exactly. Okay. Do they do knee tucks? Yes. A knee tuck, also known as a knee lift, cosmetic procedure that improves the appearance of the knees. They can address loose skin, excess fat, and other signs of aging. Speaking of skin, I did the thing. I haven't done it in so long, but I did the thing you're never supposed to do where I felt something sort of under the skin just a tiny bit.
A hint of a pimple? Yeah, but I don't know if it's a pimple because it's been there for a long time. It's under, it's like under, but it's not a cyst. It feels like I can like, I can like feel it. More like a pinprick, like a splinter. Yeah, yeah. And so yesterday I started fucking with it. I know. And now I created a whole issue on my face. And we're about to, Kristen's hosting the SAG Awards.
By the time this comes out, it will have already happened. Also ding, ding, ding, Nikki, Golden Globes.
And I'm there to help her write her stuff. And so I'll be there. And now I have a whole thing on my face. Where is it? It's right here. You can see it. It's okay.
It's okay. I was just like, why don't we learn these lessons? I know.
Now we talked about baby girl.
Baby girl has two meanings.
Baby girl is a slang term used to describe an attractive man, often a celebrity or fictional character. It's a term of endearment that's become popular with Gen Z. Like a lot of people are like Austin Butler is baby girl. Timothee Chalamet is baby girl.
Yes, probably correct. Attractive, cute or vulnerable. Oh, vulnerable. Also, it's this sexual dynamic. Oh, based on that. Well, not I don't know if it happened first, but the movie Nicole Kidman, Baby Girl. There's milk. She drinks milk. Like a kitty? Well, she does drink like a cat.
And I don't know if it's different from when she also drinks milk because they've made that joke a lot on all these shows. And I fell asleep during like 10 minutes of the movie. So that might have been when she drank the milk. Okay.
I missed your racist thing. That was probably Sim, but that was probably my dad saying, go to shower now.
Yeah. So anyway, baby girl is like a dominant woman being treated as a sub sexually, like dominant in life. Yeah. Being kind of subordinate sexually. I think often to a man who... might be subordinate to her in life. You know what I mean? This is kinky. Well, yeah. And baby girl, she's the boss and he's the intern.
See, I wanted it to be hotter and I didn't find it hot.
I wonder if you'll think it's sexy because I... I... in theory could see it being sexy. But then when I was watching it, I was like, it's not really for me.
What about, okay. One time you dated this kind of older model. Oh, were you kind of subordinate there?
Interesting. Uh, you mean physically? Yeah.
You've never been a substitute teacher. No.
What if she asked you to drink milk out like a cat?
Okay. What did Taylor Swift, good old Taylor Swift, say to Nikki in response to her apology? Her apology said, I love Taylor Swift. Okay. Unfortunately, I am featured in her documentary as part of a montage of asshats saying mean things about her, which is used to explain why she felt the need to escape from the spotlight for a year.
It's insanely ironic because anyone who knows me knows I'm obnoxiously obsessed with her and her music. The soundbite was from an interview I did five years ago, and I say in such a shitty tone, she's too skinny, it bothers me, all of her model friends, and it's just like, come on. This quote should be used as an example of projection in Psych 101 textbooks.
If you're familiar with my, quote, work at all, you know I talk openly about battling some kind of eating disorder for the past 17 years. I was probably feeling fat, again, that's in quotes, feeling fat that day and was jealous. And I was only bothered by her model friends because I'd like to be her friend and I'm not a model.
It is very. Then Taylor said, wow, I appreciate this so much. One of the major themes of the doc is that we have the ability to change our opinions over time, to grow, to learn about ourselves. I'm so sorry to hear that you've struggled with some of the same things I've struggled with. Sending a massive hug.
It is. All right. All right.
So I, of course, got so many texts, and it was like, did you see Stern? I was like, whoa, God. I really hope he didn't see it. Also, Dax is obsessed with Stern. Like, Stern is his idol. Okay, I didn't realize that. I, too, went to watch, and I was like, oh, this is fine.
But then I was annoyed because I was like, he actually doesn't do this, and now he's going to do it even less, and I need him to do it. Exactly. And I DM'd her, and I was like, hey— We really want to have you on. Also, Dax isn't the one asking people. It's me.
Everyone needs people, you guys. Yes. Everyone needs favors.
And people like being asked.
And she hosted the Golden Globes.
The reason I brought up the thing is because I wanted to do a full circle. And this is important to say because I was a little annoyed and I was upset on your behalf and upset on my behalf because I was like, oh, this is going to be a problem for me. So Kristen is hosting the SAG Awards. Oh, my God. Really? Yes. And she hosted them in 2018.
And that's when I was her producing partner and creative partner. And so I wrote her monologue and I did all that stuff for her then. And so she asked me to do that this time. So I went back to look at that original monologue. I kid you not. There is a joke that is about Marc Maron.
That I wrote. We didn't have our show yet. That is literally the exact same joke. I loved that show. My jaw dropped. I had no memory of writing that joke. And also I was like, this joke is fine. So that joke has to be fine too. Oh, that makes me feel so good. It doesn't mean anything.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Lilly Padman.
As I keep staring at your 500 million streams. Yeah, turn that around. Come on. Yeah, that was bragging.
It's a bit bragging. But that's amazing. But back to the thing of asking the follow-up question. I think as long as the next follow-up question is something that I'm really interested in that you might think is too vulnerable, but I know and trust in my heart that the answer to this is not going to alienate you to people. It'll actually endear you to people. I'll make those judgment calls, right?
Where it's like, yeah, they went to five. My interest is I want seven. What happened after that? And if I have a lot of faith in the fact that that piece of information will just make you love the person even more, then I don't mind kind of pushing.
Do you want to ask me something so that people love me more?
You're pretty universally.
As much as people hate that couch is how much people all love you. It's like kind of universal.
That is very nice to hear. It actually was a span of a year for me. So I turned 50 the year before in 2023, and then it was 10 years in 2024 from my first Vanity Fair piece. And I did a lot of personal spiritual growth work going into my new decade and into this last year. And the number of, I don't know, see, you're making me emotional, but the number of times...
in that period that I just would pull the car over because I'd start to cry or be in conversation with someone and just thinking about how things had changed in a way for me that I just never could have imagined. And I'm so, so grateful.
Yeah, you said turning 40 was absolutely miserable.
But turning 50 was fine.
It was great, actually. I had a lot of acceptance.
You were kind of in a coma for a decade, right? Yeah. And then 40 to 50, you came out.
It kind of blossomed. You know, moving into 2014 and the essay, I've done this, I can now call it resonance work. People understand when I say... What's resonance work? It's like sound based, but vibration and resonance works. Like EMDR? No, I've done EMDR, but I've worked with someone for... Probably over 15 years now on repairing my energetic bodies and field.
And he uses sound to repattern your field. Depends on how woo-woo you are there. But I've just called it consciousness work or my energy work. And one of the first things we did was around changing my relationship to fame. Yay. And so my whole goal in that was bifurcated into two things.
One being, being seen for my true self and the other was, it sounds so corny, but it's just leading or coming from compassion. That's what I want my resonance to be in this feeling of when we have compassion for other people, that boomerangs back to us. And my story is such a collective story. And so when people would have compassion for what happened to me, that compassion would radiate.
OK, so I think if we plotted your experience with fame, that might be the most extreme that we've ever had that I can think of.
Total pariah of a whole country to lessening degree globally to, I really think, pretty universally loved. I think when people see or hear your name, they have a good feeling.
Yeah. But I guess from your perspective on the inside of that, to have been on both ends of the dynamic extreme, how do you trust either end of it? I could imagine you being loved and really having an impossible time accepting that. And then even thinking, OK, great, you love me, but fuck, I know where this ride goes. It's going to flip again.
Or it could. And there is panic of that.
For you, I'm imagining reality itself is a little harder than it is for the average bear because it's been so extreme in both sides.
A hundred percent. And also too, you know, when you're writing and there's a seed that starts to germinate and you kind of go, I don't know when this is going to grow and I'm going to write this thing. But I've had this thing for quite a while now where I've just been thinking. I've also seen different angles of power and felt when power shifts, how that impacts other people too.
When Me Too happened and I just started to find myself invited into rooms that I wouldn't have been invited into the year before. I wasn't different.
And so what are all the pieces there that lead to those shifts? And what does it mean? Which is interesting to me. But I think the fame thing is very strange. I had somebody say once fame is just more people knowing who you are than you know of the other. So it's like strangers knowing who you are.
Asymmetric. Yeah, right.
there are trappings that can come with it. Usually it's the positive side. You have a lot of resources and help. And the negative is you lose your anonymity and privacy.
Maybe 20%. I think just having experienced the depths of sadness and lack of purpose and
Hopelessness. Yeah, hopelessness. All of those things. What the fuck am I going to do for a living? Yeah, exactly. How am I going to ever date a guy?
I think that 80% was just the gratitude of that and 20%. But to that point, it's why I really dislike the word reinvention. Oh. Like, oh, you reinvented yourself. I think, no, there was nothing wrong with me. I evolved. I matured. The world changed. But that reinvention seems to imply what was there before needed to be changed. Yeah.
Okay, so the 10 years, really, I would argue longer, 16 years from 98 to 2014, you get your master's in social psychology, you do a lot of things, you attempt a lot of things, but you're kind of frozen as well. Do you think you're younger than you are?
In some ways, yes.
Yeah. Not that you're immature, but I was just like, oh, you're not your age.
No, it's a very strange thing because I think I had to mature and grow up faster in some areas and in others, very stunted. And also, it's interesting because I dated somebody who has had an addiction that was in its sort of wildest throes for a decade. And he and I were talking. He was like, well, the decade where I should have been meeting somebody and having those kinds of experiences. Right.
He's like, I was in the throes of my addiction and I too had lost that decade. When you're learning to date and you're learning how to be in relationship. And I had lost that also. I also remember reading this interview with Matt Damon that I think he was saying his brother had this theory that people often remain this sort of same maturity age when they become famous.
Yeah. Like it stops there.
Exactly. Sort of frozen in amber in one of those moments.
If everything you want is happening perfectly, why would you change? It would be counterintuitive to say everything I'm doing is working perfectly. Let's change up this recipe. I think it's much easier to go like everything's in a shambles. I need to take a look inward and figure out how I'm fucking all this up in this pattern I'm in always results in this.
So I think for the young movie star where it's like all of a sudden super rich, everyone likes you, career fulfillment, and they're going to go back to the drawing board. That's a big person that does that.
Can I ask in as long distance more appealing to you?
No, but I'm an anxious attacher.
What's that mean? Tell me the symptoms of anxious attachment.
Let me open Instagram and find a meme that tells you the things where I take every fucking box. I will now never go on a date again after this airs. No, I'm just kidding.
No, you'll go on a date with the right person after.
Yeah, that's right. One of the characteristics of being an anxious attacher is you need reassurance. You always think people are mad at you. What's hard with relationship stuff, I think, is that you can't see your progress. It's like it has to be in vivo. You have to meet someone and you like them and they like you and you start the process to go, okay, has this gotten better?
And so that I think can be complicated too, because you may not know where you are.
Also hard to evaluate because the nature of a relationship is it's incredibly powerful and dynamic at the beginning. And then you're trading different hormones for here and now hormones. And you're trying to evaluate that versus is this getting boring or is it getting more stable?
I don't know that I have been the love of someone's life yet romantically. And so that feels sad to me. I can relate to that.
Now, what would happen if on your deathbed, a genie came down and went, Monica, these two people, you were and you missed it. Is that possible? I can't imagine you not being the love of someone's life.
Romantically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I know my parents. Yeah.
No, I mean, yeah.
Let me say this. I think that I have historically liked complicated men and usually an anxious attacher likes an avoidant.
That makes sense. And so... It wouldn't totally surprise me if that happened because I would probably go, see, I knew it. I knew they really loved me. I knew I really mattered. But I guess where my head went was... When situationship became a word, I was like, oh, I've had a lot of situationships.
What are those? You said that in an interview I just read and then I didn't know what situationship meant.
It's like a half relationship. Right. It's sort of an involvement. Let's just say a relationship is two people agreeing to try to build something for the future together as a unit. And I think a situationship is usually it could become a relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're not necessarily saying it's a relationship yet.
One of you is probably hoping it becomes a relationship and the other one's like, I'm not so sure, but I still want to keep a toe in. I'm not ready to run the other way or whatever that is. I had someone tell me once that a woman should always have three men in their life. The guy who takes her to dinner, the guy she's fucking and the guy she likes. Oh.
And so that's a way to kind of keep the- Keep it in balance.
You think you have had a love of your life, potentially, or some. Well, that's interesting. Now I'm going to have to reevaluate how I'm defining this all. I was just saying to someone the other day, I feel like in my life, I would not be surprised if I met somebody and it all sort of fell into place now as a mature 51 and a half year old, whatever version of that relationship that would be.
And I wouldn't be surprised if... It just kind of never happened. Right. Either way, some of it I think is maybe karma. Some of it is a lot of the time and work and energy that I've spent on surviving. I might have otherwise used to figure out emotional intimacy.
Calling your way out of this enormous hole you were put in. That takes a lot of energy and focus and attention.
But you love it, right? I love it. Immediately. Yeah, you and Rob could have some weird male-female home goods store that would service both ends of the... Home goods. Oh, my gosh.
It does. But where I feel really lucky and I imagine you're the same is just I have really fulfilling friendships and relationships in my life. And so it's the combination of emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy. It's a little tricky for me.
And I think increasingly society is evolving. The number of married people in Manhattan in the 80s versus now is one third of what it was. And I do think there'll be less shame surrounding whatever version of you meeting your needs is.
I remember, I don't know what happened to it. I read about it before the pandemic. There was a matching site, not dating, that was matching people to have kids together. And I just thought that is so genius. You know, it's really interesting. And as you were saying, Dax, about the spectrum, we are becoming this society of spectrum in so many ways.
And it's going to be really interesting as we move forward too, of how are we going to historically look at scientific data that was so binary. You're a man or a woman, gay or straight. And we're moving into a world that's more nuanced while the chasm between groups is even bigger and worse.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Do you watch Severance? I do. I'm not caught up on it. Oh, dang.
Thank you. I feel so short in this. It's a little sinky.
You know what's nice is the complaints are universal. They're not consistent... No one likes it, but for a myriad of reasons. So we can't even really figure out how to fix it. This is the third couch.
That's never a great sentence. I know.
Their innies are in love.
They're well documented.
Well, more importantly, one boy liked her. She liked the boy. And the boy said, I can't really be with her because she's Indian. Oh, he said her parents were a dairy queen, but that was code for India.
And they don't.
And I'll add a particularly cruel twist is this pattern also is anyone that likes her.
So when people do like her, something's wrong with them, obviously. Yeah. Because she's already accepted no one likes her. That's immovable. So if no one likes her and someone likes her, what the fuck is wrong with this dude?
And again, it's not like everyone's like, it's too deep or it's too shallow or it's just for you now, it's too short.
Isn't it maddening? Especially when you love somebody.
It's so common, I just want to add. We have so many guests where Monica and the guests go off to the races and they connect so much on this thing.
It's interesting because I think I feel so much shame around it because I'm super open in my friendships with people at a private conversation where it's not out there. I'm very, very open, but I think I feel so much shame from it. I talked about this. The first episode of my podcast was me being interviewed. Yeah.
And so I talked about when Joyce Brothers went on the Today Show and said, can you imagine someone bringing Monica Lewinsky home and telling their parents that they were going to marry me, basically? Yeah. And so I think there's this fear of, oh, see, you were all right.
I know. Top that off with whatever childhood shit I had, too.
Yeah, exactly. This is kind of a great segue to one of my questions. So, yes, basically what we're really talking about is very few incidents. can result in this kind of permanent life trajectory. And so when we talk about reclaiming, the premise of reclaiming, right, is something you've lost or was taken that you get back.
Or I'm too short. I think it is. I think people sink in it a little bit.
Well, first, let's talk about that, because I have a broader question of should we reclaim? Is it always the right move to reclaim? Or is there time to jettison the thing we thought we needed away? and accept what is, and then build something new.
To me, the building something new is a reclaiming. What it usually is, is there would be maybe a hole or something that we could label. This person, this job, this opportunity, whatever it was that you felt was lost. You either try getting that very same thing back or you're finding something else that then fits that slot.
Because there's two Monicas here today.
Okay. How are you doing? Good. I'm a little tired. I was like, oh, this is not the kind of mindset you want to be and go to try to sound like a human. No. And I also keep thinking there's an earthquake happening today.
There are these kind of capital R and lowercase R reclaimings, big things being my last decade, reclaiming my narrative. That's a capital R. But the example I'll give is I have road rage.
Oh. Oh, we would be fun in the car together. Oh, yeah.
I will yell fuck face. Oh, wow.
But before I then also flick the person off, if I stop myself from doing that, I've reclaimed my calm.
It's kind of an ethos. It's like mindfulness. It just kind of blankets all of our lives in different ways. When I was forming the show and pitching it, the best example I could think of that shows this elasticity with the concept is Taylor Swift and Taylor's versions. So she has this catalog. It gets taken away from her and she can't get it back.
So she comes up with a whole new way of reclaiming her music. Right. Yeah. And I think the conversations that I'm having, it was great. I sat down with John Chu the other week. It was kind of a broader thing, which is around his identity and his identity and his work. So it's really loose. Now, having had this conversation, I'd want to talk to you about identity. I'd want to talk to you.
I'm really interested in the rehab narrative of people who are publicly successful. go to rehab, how they come back out without those crutches and find the courage to continue to do. Jason Isbell won his Grammy after Aaron Sorkin won his Oscar.
Well, we love stories.
You're doing a show with Amanda Knox. Yep. Where are you guys at in that?
We are going to finish shooting in two weeks.
Oh, really? Yeah. Is it here in L.A.? Overseas. Is it in Italy?
We did shoot some in Italy.
Is that hard for her to go back there?
She did not go back for that portion, but she has been back. She is a brave soul. Wow. I will definitely have her on the podcast when the show is coming out.
How did you come to meet her?
Do you know John Ronson? Have you ever had him on the show? So he's just a brilliant guy and had written a book. So you've been publicly shamed. Oh, It sort of brought the Justine Sacco story. This was the woman who got on the plane to Africa.
Oh, and when she landed, she was fired. Jonathan Hyde just saw her. Yes, because he just came up on an episode.
Yes. While John didn't write the story, I mean, the Times had covered it. He went into her story in context. But so John and I knew each other. And then John knew Amanda and had connected us. But then we actually met. We were both speaking at the same event. And it was her first speaking event.
Okay. How many do you do a year?
I haven't done that many this last year. I was doing a lot. And then coming out of the pandemic, I had a whole bunch that had been scheduled. It's not picked up in the same way. And I think I was tired. I love doing it. I really like talking to young people too. That feels really meaningful to me.
What is that about?
Is there? No.
And also, I think there's no playbook on how to transition from having this big public story that is traumatic and moving on in your life in a way where you're able to support yourself, that you're not having to relive your trauma. Yes. Every day, all the time. Lean on it. Right.
It's like you have a premonition or you're feeling it? No, no.
And so when I'm public speaking, it's going backwards to move forwards and to sort of help people and feel less alone in all those ways. That's what I love about the podcast is that I just get to sit and talk to people and hear their stories.
It was like three times today. I sort of was, oh, was that an earthquake? Yeah.
You can make an argument either way. So like you take the power away from something by openly talking about this is the antidote to shame. That is true. That's been my experience with sharing stuff. But then there's another thing to monitor, which is like, how damaging is it to constantly revisit it? What is the damage of just not being able to put that away forever?
And that's got to be really hard.
The ideal place for it is to just be able to choose. I want to do this versus I have to do this because I've got to pay my mortgage or put food on the table or pay for therapy. I think those are the differences.
Okay, so a little on edge, maybe.
But even with the net, there's categories, which is interesting because I mean, almost your obligation if you're a member of AA is you get sober and then you share your story and you share your story for the rest of your life. And you get a daily reprieve from sharing your story and you encourage other people and inspire other people. No one's going like enough of your story.
They're not going like get over it. In that domain, that's a wonderful, powerful thing. But then in other domains, people are going like, enough.
I don't know. You're anxious. Is that it, you think? Okay.
Oh, yeah. The problem is that the way trauma sort of worms its way into our memories, into our physical tissue, you can't totally excavate it out. EMDR can help an enormous amount, but my therapist who's a trauma psychiatrist, she'll say the echo gets quieter, but it's always there. And so there is that element too of how am I protecting myself and my own mental health, but it's a difficult thing.
On a second trip.
what's happened to people in global scandals, especially when you're young, because you get very defined by it. People tell you to move on. And yet when I came out of graduate school, I couldn't get a fucking job. They're telling you to move on, but no one else has moved on. Exactly.
Would it comfort you at all to know that I, too, don't feel energized and bright?
OK, I always bring it back to this because I just found it to be very powerful. But we had this sex therapist on and I was asking if because of sexual abuse, you have certain we'll call them kinks, but positively you have preferences. How can you blame someone when they've been given this situation, if they have certain desires for the rest of their life, is that good or bad, right?
And she said, oh, this is very, very simple. She used sub-doms. Like there are a lot of people that have been abused that they like to be in these sub-dom relationships. And she just said, if you have shame and secrecy around it, it's bad and destructive. If you have no shame and secrecy, then yes, explore what you were given. Here's your isms now. So I was wondering... Where are you going?
Okay. Me either, actually.
I'm not going sexual at all. But what I'm going towards is you are in a very extreme situation and you're going to have things that developed out of that. At what point are you able to just make peace and accept? Oh, yeah, there are certain things in me that I don't need to fix. This was the hand I was dealt. I'm now this way. I don't have to fix it all.
And do you have acceptance of whatever things grew out of that?
My experience is that, but maybe a tiny bit adjacent in that. Yeah, I'm just not going to get to working on that. And I'm OK with that. Right. OK. Yeah. It's that acceptance. And that was a lot of what I had in my 49th year. So right before I turned 50. And it's so freeing to just be very open. happy with who I am and very comfortable with who I am.
And it's like, you no longer, I mean, people don't buy CDs anymore, but you no longer go out and buy the CDs that the guy you like, you know, likes. It's no longer that.
Yeah. In the past, you'd have been trying to figure out what music this guy liked.
Or, oh, you surf, I surf.
I think I was always like that. Also growing up at a time where not all young women, but many young women got messages from their moms about how you're supposed to be in a relationship. What does it mean to get a man or keep a husband? Yeah. Or I remember hearing in class once and they were like, well, they used to call women going to college was getting an MRS degree. Oh, yeah. I've heard that.
Oh, tell us about them, please. Okay.
Underneath it all is the message. Who you are and how you are right now is not enough and not OK.
Eventually, you'll attach yourself to something with substance. That'll be a man and a husband. And then you'll have an identity.
You're Gen X. Right. Right. Because you're. Yeah. It's interesting. I found this really useful, although it felt so banal to me at first. But one of the mantras my therapist had given me was, yeah, this is what I do. Sometimes when I'm feeling anxious, I send an extra text. to start with not making it worse on myself.
Mercury's in retrograde, which makes sense that here I am coming back to the podcast. Circling all the way back. What do I have?
And so starting with self-compassion and recognizing, and I think going back to something we were talking about much earlier, but in terms of the self-awareness and the evolving that happens, we're also all these different versions of ourselves, right? The different ages and the different parts. And so that's also recognizing, again, kudos to my therapist.
Monica Lewinsky. Yes.
She's like, well, the you who sends the email may not be the you who's waiting for the response.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah. God bless therapists. Oh, my gosh. Seriously.
OK. You've had some great guests already. We could talk about many of them, but I am interested specifically in a few.
Molly Ringwald, of course. And I have to imagine you are the same as me because we're the same age. And the sun rised and set on Molly Ringwald.
Oh yeah. First of all, Molly is an extraordinary woman. She is brilliant. She's an incredible writer. She has such presence and she has a really unique presence too. So I was excited to talk to her because right, we grew up with her. It was really fascinating to hear that John Hughes wrote 16 Candles for her, having never met her and having just been given her headshot. What?
Which I was like, okay, that's very complimentary and also a little creepy because she was a teen, not trying to disparage the filmmaker of our generation. Sure. As a woman, I think it was an objectification that then had things projected onto it.
He created a movie version of Molly Ringwald that became an identity that probably wasn't Molly Ringwald's identity. There's probably a chasm of how he saw her and portrayed her in all these projects that wasn't her.
They're so precious. I'm fighting so hard for every one of them. Do you have, let me start there. We're of the same age.
That would have been a good question for me to ask. Oh!
Well, he passed away.
We have to find a medium. Oh, my God, that's a funny, stupid show where we have a full medium and we interview dead people. That would be great. Yeah, kind of like an impression.
I wanted to do somehow a TV show when journalists have passed away, if you can get access to their notes. And does that mean anything that was off the record in their sources? You know, if both people had died, like, wouldn't that be interesting? I wonder how many stories might be totally recontextualized to know who the sources were.
Yeah. We just interviewed Michael Lewis.
Yeah. He's brilliant.
Yeah. And he was telling us that while writing the big short, two of the characters in it, what he was not allowed to share was that his dad was the president of Lehman Brothers. It was like some off. the record thing.
It absolutely killed me because it was so relevant to what was happening. He was betting against his father. So, yeah, that kind of stuff would probably come out.
I just think it would be interesting.
So what was Molly's version of that experience?
She only knew fame from this very young age and this catapulting into a high level of fame on the cover of Time.
Marrying a beastie boy.
She is an icon. She dated him. I don't think they married.
When's your birthday?
Okay. We'll fact check it later. I just remember thinking, this is ideal.
I feel like I should know that.
I made one of the worst comments to her. I've only met her once. I was seated next to her. This is in my list of 20 dumb things I've said to people. I was sitting next to her and I was so excited. I was with Kristen. So I was like, this is safe because I'm with Kristen. I was like, is it a bizarre experience that every time you sit down with anyone of my age...
January 2nd. I just turned 50.
You know, they were in love with you. That's an interesting reality I'm curious about. Yeah. It's just an awkward question. What is she supposed to say? There was no answer she could give. I didn't think that part of it through, but I am still fascinated by it. That's a very interesting way to go through life. How did she reclaim?
Oh, no, no. I'm older.
Her Paris years. She moved to Paris to really find out who she was.
As a non-famous person.
Yeah, you're like a year and a half older.
Which is incredibly brave.
Beanie we've had on and we love Beanie.
Just listen to Beanie's edit yesterday. Well, it's funny because we started talking about the tapes and Beanie and I had talked about the process and that came up and I was listening to the edit and I was like, I didn't explain if somebody doesn't know my story, they're not going to know. This is where I'm learning.
But congratulations.
Oh, that's one of my, you just reminded me of one of my questions.
Oh, okay. Go ahead.
You must be experiencing this in a very exaggerated and compounded way. The impermanence of everything is so fascinating.
Oh, thank you.
Because you meet tons of people that literally Clinton is a dude from their history book. Exactly. That's all.
OK, so I have this weird cultural relevance because I'm a lyric in fucking rap songs.
Which rap song? I've heard you say that.
Really well played.
What? Yes. Oh my God. I mean, Beyonce's not a rapper, but I'm in partition in a not very nice way.
Did you buy a jumpsuit on your 50th birthday?
You're the most rapped about person in America.
Beyonce should come on your show. Beyonce should come on my show. I would love to talk to her. She's extraordinary. So there's that. But I had a weird thing. I was at, you know, the artist Shepard Fairey. Yeah. It was his gallery. And some eight year old kid came up to me and knew my history. The whole thing was weird to me because I'm like, you're eight. You shouldn't know anything about me.
Yes, this was really fun. I really enjoyed this one. She has a new podcast out called Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky. She has incredible guests.
I already own like six. I had a whole jumpsuit phase like two years ago. It was a good phase. But I guess what I'm asking, is there anything you're in a full fledged battle with? So for me, it's my hair density. And I'm applying with a dropper in the morning and at night. And I hate what it does to my hair. It makes it really crunchy and greasy.
I mean, I joke a lot about people used to say, no offense. Do you know who you look like? And now it's the TED talk or anti-bullying work.
Leno's got a great story about this. He's doing a live standup show in Vegas and he's just fucking around before his set. And he sees guys with a dolly and they have a huge statue clearly under a tarp. And he's like, wow, what is that? And they're like, oh, it's the Elvis statue.
He's like, where are you going to go fix it?
And they're like, no, we're taking it down. Nobody who comes to Vegas knows who Elvis is.
That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about going, oh, wow, none of it matters. It all moves fast. It's in, it's out. It's so temporary and it's so impermanent. That's kind of what I'm talking about. How could everyone know something at one point and then no one knows? That's the part that I feel as I'm getting older.
It's like, oh, yeah, I'm just now transitioning to that thing where I'm not really relevant in these young people's life.
you have a voice in a different way. So they may not know you from those earlier things. But I think also, again, this is a fact check, but isn't Nelson Mandela's story too? Early years of having been known one way and then becomes known more from the latter years of his political career than some of the earlier ones.
I feel really lucky because I feel as if in this last round, I mean, I was always a public person, but not hiding in many ways.
Driving your- Right. Exactly.
I can sit outside at a restaurant now. I might worry a little if I'm going to a restaurant where paparazzi hang out. But even then, it's like, OK, my hair is lighter. I don't get recognized, which is really nice.
Yes. Midway through life, I'm just really struck with like, oh, wow. Yeah. And everything that happened to my grandparents meant so much. And it's just gone. It's sad and it's good. We're just here for a minute. And that's it.
The statue will come down at some point.
It's a pure delivery system for nicotine.
No bullshit, just nicotine. It's a liquid. The whole family's addicted to it.
Yeah. Were you ever a smoker? Social smoker.
I usually have a cigarette on election night every four years.
Okay. You should maybe try that, Monica.
All right, I just have one salacious question for you.
Hold on, let me... Yeah, get your salacious armor on.
The Menendez brothers. You went to school with them?
Yes, I did. The youngest one was, I think, a year or two older than me. Really, my memory of him was sitting next to him waiting to audition for The Music Man.
Oh, both of you.
Yeah. We had the same call time. I don't know.
Audition time. Audition time. Audition time. Right. Exactly. So the older brother was gone before you got to school. Yeah.
I think so. I don't remember their age differences. So it happened while you were in school? Yes. I think they were on Maple or Elm. I can point the street out to you. I just can't remember which one it was. And it was like, oh, that's the house.
Yeah, it's a pretty wild thing to happen in high school. We had some wild shit.
Yeah. But I think, again, it's interesting. It's one of those stories.
It's like yours where you go back and watch it and you go, oh, I see it completely different now. Right.
Exactly. Whatever society ends up deeming as the right thing to happen for them is fine by me. I hope if they do get resentenced in some way and let out that it becomes a much bigger conversation for all of the people who are languishing in prison, who committed crimes as a result of having been abused. Yeah. Because I think that's the majority of people.
And I'm like, yeah, I just got to fucking deal with it.
Otherwise, it just bothers me that it's sort of the attractive white boys. There's so many different instances where it's so easy for us to look at a story and think of everybody, whatever category of story is a monolith. And I love context. I have been known to send emails that are like, here's a short version. Here's a long version.
I think sometimes the old issues that you kind of go, wow, I've been working on this for a really long time. You just observe it showing up in a different way. So I think I had one of those this morning of, huh, I don't want to get too detailed, but I've talked about this thing.
You choose which one you want because I will always go with the long version. But people like the short version. A lot of people do. Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you're doing reclaiming because you're built to talk. You're a great, great guest the first time and you're a great guest the second time. And if any of us can figure out how to shoot the shit for a living, fucking what a win.
I would agree with that.
Oh, good. Yeah.
You were newer into the reintroduction.
Yeah, it would have been four years, five years, but we wouldn't have made impeachment yet. Having been a producer on Ryan Murphy's impeachment and having a first look deal was really the first opportunity I had to do something that had nothing to do with my story, even
though my lens is shaped by and my brother was always like okay you can't have these head scratchers you have to take people on a narrative journey of the projects you're going to do it's like why are you doing that you're not an expert in this okay he's not that harsh but that's what you hear from me whether that's what he's saying yeah no no he finally thinks i'm funny so it's It's a big win.
It is such a big win. 51 years later. Yeah. Actually, I have John Oliver to thank for that. He's like, well, John Oliver said you're funny. So he's a big fan of this show. Hi, Mike. We're giving you a shout out. So with impeachment and having had a first look deal and focusing on other people's stories, but then with the contraction in Hollywood, it became difficult.
And as someone said to me, producing is an expensive habit. Yeah. Like if you're not in a deal or independently wealthy. So I love producing. I love storytelling.
It's hard. It's hard. I would apply the racing adage. That's my favorite, which is, you know how to make a small fortune in racing. Start with a large fortune.
Exactly. Increasingly. That's good, yeah. Want to become a millionaire as a producer? Start with a billion. Yeah, exactly. Well, Monica, this has been a blast. Everyone should listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky. It's available absolutely everywhere. We're siblings under the Wondery world. So delighted to be with you.
Thank you guys so much. We love having you. Thank you.
Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong. Hi.
That's probably not the thing you should talk about when you have a first conversation with somebody that you've been set up with romantically. Probably not the thing to talk about. Because it was too intimate. Overshared. Probably it was an overshare and I felt really comfortable with the person, which was nice.
Hi. Okay. I've never met Aaron Weakley. Oh, hi. But I heard he's the ultimate boy. He is so darn human. I wish I were flawed like Mr. Weakley.
He has a very cute smile. I wish they made robots with teeth.
No teeth. Because he doesn't need to eat.
I run out of electricity.
Yeah. If I correct you, get your energy from food. Yeah, we do.
Aaron's here. Welcome, Aaron.
Oh, so you're recovering still a little bit.
Any free five minutes.
You got adjusted to the time zone, man. Yeah, that's true. This was a very haphazard trip. We're talking on the phone yesterday. And I just go, should you come out tomorrow morning and record some more of our podcast?
It was a regret. Start a regret. And then I said, wait a minute, it's not too late. Okay. Are you, I have an exciting update for you.
Oh, wonderful.
I'd be honored to eat some skin. Don't you think the context is a little relevant? Because it's really like, what one do you want in your food? One of those items has to be in your food. I said spit because you wouldn't know. Okay, but if you would. If you did know. Yeah.
Okay, well, let's be really specific because I was just telling Monica all about Aaron Stinchcomb and the murder and all that. Yeah. And there was a period, Monica, where he worked at Big Boys, the same one that Aaron and I worked at.
But then after I just thought, OK, but I also told that same story the other week to in a way that was a little inappropriate. Clearly, there's something that I need to deal with about this whole thing. I sound super cryptic.
You've heard our Big Boys stories. Oh, yeah. Okay, so now here's your choice. You... Shit comes making a mall.
Yeah, there was a lot of burning carpet. Um... So Stinchcombe is making you a malt. Okay. And you either see him spit in it really big or cut off the tip of his finger and put it in the malt. In a malt? Yeah. I guess.
Everything I eat is ham.
All right. So we got a. Well, it's fun because now we have three different things. I said spit. He said skin. You said hair.
Wow. I think because girls deal with so much hair all the time and it's on your brush and you're taking it out and the whole thing. You have a much closer relationship with hair.
Yeah, I want to ask her. She's not going to answer because she's baking, but let's find out. You think she's a hair person? I hope.
No, I love it. I really want to have coffee so I can be told the same thing and then levy a verdict. There's two ways to think about it, though, right? One is you go ahead and be you and you're going to weed out whoever that's not the right fit for them.
Hi. Quick question, because we're polling everyone. You are either going to find in your food.
At a restaurant. A long.
Don't say fingernails.
That's a big victory for Monica. But by the way, I don't know why it's such a big victory because I agree that it's probably women feel fine with hair.
That's such not an obvious answer to me. But you wouldn't know. You just wouldn't know. You'd be eating and then someone would go, someone would spit in there and you'd go, oh, I didn't know.
Unless you're Rapunzel.
Yeah. Okay, that was the right.
That was the right answer for your gender.
Aaron wants skin because he'll pretend it's ham. Okay. And then I want spit because I wouldn't know.
But I would know. Someone would say, hey, there's spit in here. Or they go, there's a hair in here. Or there's skin.
I probably would continue to eat if there's spit. By the way, there's spit in all your food because people are talking in the kitchen and coughing. Well, actually. Some of the food. Yeah.
Because that served me really well for 50 to 51 and a half years.
I said to know Monica is to have pulled her hair out of like your armpit randomly. It's just on you.
Yeah. Thanks for answering. I know you got a busy cooking project going.
All right. Love you.
I'll put it all in there. Throw it in. All right. I love you.
So that's one side that's defendable. But then the other side is exactly that. Yeah, I do that. And it does weed out people. And I think the people I'm weeding out are the people are probably better matches for me. And I'm probably attracting like minded, hyper explosive, overly intimate, very quick. And you got to figure out which side of the line you're on.
Yeah. With a fork and knife. Sure. And ask for a second.
That one feels, the only one that feels dangerous because it could maybe cut your intestinal tract.
I do. So you've eaten it. Then I chew on the nail. Exactly. And you're right, sometimes I'm like, where is the nail?
Yeah, she kept moving it all over the couch. Oh, in here. Yeah. Right. She couldn't get comfortable where she was putting it to remember me. Yes, yes. Best case scenario, remembering would throw it away. That is right. But every time she'd commit to a place, she'd be talking. Then she realized, oh, I'm going to forget about it there.
And then it'd bend up between her.
Yeah. It went between your legs on the couch at some point.
Seven year old boy.
And the theme's really awesome. It's about reclaiming your identity.
You'd rather eat a fingernail over a booger? Yes. That's extreme. I think I would, too.
Okay, okay, okay. But do you want to hear the thing I saved for you?
Hi, Monica and Dax. Love this episode so much. I know Monica doesn't read the comments, but I was the person with the clipboard who recognized Monica and said I was a big fan. Just to hopefully quell any anxiety in the future, I wanted to say that no one is judging you for not stopping. Baiting people with emotive causes, no matter how important, is manipulative and counterproductive.
Our goal is never to make anyone feel bad. It's great when people stop, but it's totally fine when they don't. We never know what each person is going through. Also, I promise every person out there has received serious verbal abuse. LOL. So a sorry not today is perfect. Most of us who do this job are starving artists. And while we love the causes we represent, it's not our end goal either.
Like you, we hope to not be harassing people on the street forever. You definitely didn't lose an arm, Cherry. The interaction made my day.
Isn't that great?
I think we're all very self-aware people here who are aware of ourselves, our emotions, our behaviors, how we want to show up in the world, as opposed to how we do actually show up in the world.
You feel worse because she was letting you know that it's okay. But she's so nice. And she liked meeting you. It was fine, despite the fact that you were running from her as fast as you could.
Monica's going, oh, thank you. Like, right? Yes. I did. Yeah, you got overwhelmed. I understand.
Morning Morgantown is her handle. Morning Morgantown.
I was like, yeah, that's right. You leave your town and you come to L.A. and you don't know what to do and you just got to find something. Exactly. And I can imagine myself having the job when I first got here. Yeah. I can put myself in her shoes very easily.
Coming here and just like, God, how on earth do I make a living? Okay. And some friend tells you, you know, you could be with a clipboard in front of Ralph's.
Which is great because if you get hungry, it's directly behind you.
There's bathrooms.
Sushi. Yeah.
Yeah, I was happy to read that. And okay, what did she say you can say? Sorry, not today. She said sounds great.
Well, I've done it. How long has she been in the ER? Wait.
Have they intubate? I mean, if you hear someone's dealing with intubation on the phone, you're not going to think they're a dick.
Erin, I wish you would have come a couple of days earlier because Lincoln had a spectacular birthday party on Sunday and it was volleyball themed.
And so you just keep trying to chip away and move towards something. And they're just those moments where you go, OK, I'm not there yet. Yeah.
But I missed it, huh? Yeah, we did four games. Shit. It was so fun. Did it look intriguing this time? No. Nothing?
Well, you were.
What were the topics of those conversations?
Oh, right. It's always a combo here. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll ask Aaron. Maybe Aaron feels like you do.
No, I think it could easily go the other way because that would be consistent with Aaron because your thing was like, why do we have to do all this shit?
I could see it going the other way where he'd be like, yeah, fucking you look how you look. That's also very Aaron.
Apparently not.
Well, I mean, I guess someone's making peptides look good.
Monica doesn't. She's kind of anti-peptides.
About peptides?
I agree that we all think we are. But do you think it's an illusion of self-awareness?
They like it.
There was a very funny moment when you brought up that conversation because there was an exchange back and forth where it was like all these numbers. Remember how funny that was?
Huh. Say more on that.
Yeah. So I guess what I'm saying is I think we are all semi self-aware and we know how to read a room. We know how to do this stuff, but we are who we are. And at best, it's a con. And at worst, we're not even impressing upon people what we think we are. I think a lot of us have the illusion of it, but really, we all know who each other is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can go to a hormone doctor. Most of them can prescribe you them. But this all started because a woman in Germany took a peptide that brings out all the melanin in your skin. And she has turned herself black. And she's moving to Africa because she says she identifies as black. That's insane. It's crazy. Yeah, it's offensive on a lot of levels.
That's what started the whole peptide conversation.
What's that? I think it's called dihexy or something. And it's a peptide that, yeah, makes you think faster. More sharp and such. And I take it on days with interviews and research.
Like, I need that. Yeah, clear up some of the fog.
Haven't you realized how good it is? I'm going to have to rely on you to tell me. I've noticed for the last year that your interviews have been bad. And then I'll go, oh, that's about the time I start.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, my memory is a little better. My word recall is a little sharper. And I take it on research interview days. Does it work instantly? I don't even know. I mean, truthfully, I'm not even sure if it works.
You don't feel any different. Nor do you like, you're on testosterone. Yeah. It's not like you take a shot of testosterone and you're like, I feel. Right. You don't feel anything. Yeah. You just notice, oh, I've worked out more. I've, you know, I've more engaged. Like retrospectively, you kind of notice this.
And this one went off without a hitch? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not. Yeah, they're not magic cure-alls. They're just like, it gets your levels to where they were when you were 30. And when you were 30, you weren't like, my God, I'm jumping over cars. You just were how you were. Yeah.
I'm going to show off for a second.
My therapist told me last week she made a comment about, can you see how much you've changed and how much you've evolved and healed in these certain areas? Yeah, that's a win.
Yeah, this kicked off a very fun debate.
Yeah, you're really against it. And my counter was like, if you have a range of what your skin color is, like mine in the summer is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have a range of what your skin color is. Me in the summer, I way prefer, right? I'm like six shades darker than I am in the wintertime. It's pretty dramatic. I tan pretty well. I way prefer to look that way. I can look that way if I sit in the sun all day.
But if I could take a peptide that I would look that exact shade that I naturally look anyways without all the sun damage, it seems kind of crazy not to do that. Yeah. If you're just picking between hours in the sun versus this peptide for the same result.
But if I have a choice, I would look tan.
I would. Don't you want it in the summertime? It's like transparency. It's who you are, Aaron.
No, this is him in the winter. It's who I am in April. Exactly. In April.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, thank you. Well, hold on. Do you have the same policy on whitening toothpaste? No. You have a range of what your teeth whiteness could be. You can use this product that'll make them the whitest they're possible.
If the self-awareness weren't real, you wouldn't have these.
And I'm super supportive of that.
But now we're jumping topics.
Well, I think that'd be a good distinction. I'm arguing to be the best version of yourself you can be. You comb your hair, you cut your hair, you brush your teeth, you do all the things, you take care of your skin, you put moisturizer on. You're trying to be the very best version of yourself. And so my favorite version of myself is July because I think I look best tan.
You wouldn't be course correcting.
And I can do that through sun damage or I could do it through a peptide and get no sun damage. It seems preferable.
In behavior. So are you going to become somebody totally different to who you were in your natural state? Probably not. But I think we can mature and heal.
Now, you're right about the fact that I'm going to get sun damage anyways because I like to be outside and I'm going to be on a boat and ride motorcycles and hiking.
On the surface, that sounds correct. But I would argue we would draw a line in that statement somewhere.
Yeah, I do. I don't think this is binary. I don't think it's like you're right. I don't think it's binary. I don't think it's like self-awareness is a total illusion and you can actually know how you're coming across. I think there's a big gray area in spectrum there.
Oh, yeah, me too.
Yeah, I just think it's a huge spectrum and it's not black or white. It's like we don't accept that our teeth are yellow. We don't accept that we can't see right without glasses. There's tons of stuff. We don't accept that our hair shouldn't be styled and conditioned. And we don't accept that our skin makes enough moisture to look how we want and we put moisture on it.
It's just like you're just moving out the ring. Yeah, well, we are. My what's that?
Yeah. Yeah. And so what I landed on in that conversation was, yeah, I felt awkward and had a big nose and was super skinny in high school. And I learned to bet on my personality. And I did that. I made that growth. And that is where my core self-esteem comes from. Also, this is my one trip on planet Earth. And I'm going to go as hard as I can on this trip.
I'm going to try to have the exact body I always wanted. And I'm going to try to, you know, I'm going to try to do everything on this one trip.
In every single way, every conceivable way. Travel to the whole place. Like, I'm going to devour the whole thing.
By the way, I get it. And I think what you're saying is totally valid.
You're going to join us. I asked you this morning. Oh, you are. Yeah.
I'm excited.
Deliver food. You guys deliver food. Very exciting. Deliver some foodies.
Well, you know what you should be scared about? It's pretty consistent. You smell a lot of food and you get pretty hungry, but you're working.
I mean, it's interesting. I don't know why this is what comes up, but I remember when I was learning how to do public speaking for my Forbes talk and then the TED talk, I worked with someone who's a delivery coach because the way you think you're delivering something in your head may not be how the audience is receiving it.
Not time to pull over.
That's what ends up happening is we get home so hungry and ready to order. And then I spend way more than I have made. 40 times what was made.
Yeah, I have a delivery account, and we turn it on, and then we just start delivering food, and we shoot the shit, and then we ask... Some reader questions, some moral dumbfounding questions, and... It's delightful. It's delightful. Yeah. And you're on a car ride. You know what is interesting? I think I may have already told you this. I'm realizing, now I don't know how it'll translate.
There's such a specific way people communicate in a car, and I'm really seeing it now that I'm editing it.
When you talk in a car, you really talk because they're up front. Oh.
There's kind of a cool openness because you're not looking eye to eye with anyone. There's some... Weird outcome of not staring at each other while you're talking.
It's just different and interesting. Cool. It's so car talk. Like as soon as you're hearing it, you're like, yeah, that's a road trip with friends or that's driving to go get food with friends. That's what it sounds. It just has a very specific sound.
I like that.
Like peptides? Yeah. Okay.
Sure. All things that bother us are about us.
If I were you, I might feel like... Fuck you, white people. You already hit the lottery and now you want more.
Oh, that's a great question for your podcast.
Well, that's specifically with making yourself black.
Because I had the very, very stark example of listening to me argue with Kristen. Yes, in your early. Oh, that's not how I think I argue. In my head, the experience is way different than now I'm objectively listening to it. Have you had some aha moments if you had to listen now to yourself for hours?
For me, the ethical line in the sand is if you're going past what you just naturally look like, there's that's dicey.
Exactly. Like what you really like, you could just decide to go to a tanning booth. No one would be mad about someone going to a tanning booth.
So is this peptide. It doesn't permanently turn you.
Oh, she's on a horse dose of that thing.
Until she decides she wants to be white again.
Which will probably be soon.
Yeah, yeah. There she is, Erin.
Oh, God. I know. Can you fucking believe that? Also, she has like triple H titties, like fake. So this notion that she's like on the Savannah trying to be Maasai and she has these enormous boltons.
oh it's just wild wait okay and i know i'm behind i have so many questions yeah her hair i know the hair is very confusing i know if there were a peptide that i could take thick thick hair i would do it in a second you don't get to or do i maybe i will I'm already putting a topical on to try to keep it as thick as possible. And that's not a problem.
It seems like the difference is like whether it's external or internal is like the tipping point.
I don't know why. Yeah.
Yeah, I am curious about that. Well, no, this is likely a conversation that will be happening in the rest of the country and in a couple of years, just like every other thing that starts here. Minimally, we would agree these are really kind of arbitrary lines we draw everywhere. I draw them, too. They are. I draw them, too.
Like, yeah, I think me going and getting facial reconstructive surgery and a different getting Brad Pitt's nose and stuff for me, for whatever reason. That is a betrayal of who I was born to be. And then taking testosterone and eating lots of protein and working out. That's not to me. And it's just I decided that.
Like I want Brad Pitt's body in Fight Club and I'm happy to go pursue it in any way I can. And I would not be happy trying to pursue his face in any way I could.
I wouldn't get it. No, I wouldn't get like calf implants.
Yeah. So, right. There's some weird line where my muscles also have to be real.
It's all so arbitrary.
On so many levels. There is one, which is the fact that I'm so lucky. I have super deep trauma of having to hear my own voice because of Linda Tripp taping me for 20 hours. And then I had to authenticate the tapes. So I had to sit in the independent counsel's office listening. It was awful.
Like this is what's going to happen in cascade fashion over our lifetime.
Like the stuff's coming out hourly. Yeah. What? They can do that? What? They brought back the fucking they brought back dire wolves today. I don't know if you saw that in the news.
Yes. What do you mean? Those wolves that are referenced in Game of Thrones, they got DNA off something and they've brought them back.
Big ass wolves.
Yikes. I mean, they're not going to be- Yeah, but again, it's like, then what are we going to do?
Have you ever heard Aaron say that?
He does it so good. I know, I love it. We do want Aaron.
Monica Lewinsky facts.
That's proof of it.
It seems like it'd have to be exactly 50-50. It's going to approach the exact same amount of time it retreats.
I don't get it either. But astrology doesn't make sense. So that's why it's consistent with astrology a little bit.
That makes me think Aaron's daughter is born on leap year. Oh, that's so rare. She's only four years old. Oh, no, she's not four yet. Oh, she's not? Yeah. She's driving, but she's not four yet. Yeah. Well, what is that on her license? Four. But they let her drive. Oh, my God. That's so cute.
Yeah, I would feel very robbed that two years in a row your birthday doesn't even pop up on the calendar.
Oh, my God. Hold on one second.
That's torture. No, no, it was. That's what they should have in Guantanamo.
How have you liked your new tattoo? Oh, I love it. Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah, good. Because it was a last minute decision.
Not yet. Okay. But it can in the right company. It does now.
Even take it out of the insane context it was in. If you just said, hey, by the way, we have 20 hours of you and your friend Aaron talking. Now sit here and listen to the things I would say with Aaron and I at a table. There's no way I wouldn't be. I go to make it through 20 minutes of chatting.
What would it mean? Jesus to Christ.
I love Jesus twice as much. The second coming of Christ? Second coming. It's all about the second coming. Yeah, it's the sequel of J.C., Oh, God. KC2. Oh, my God.
No, just you're declaring I can't wait for the second coming.
That's kind of good news. So less people are getting married, but more people are staying married. Yeah. A higher percentage are staying married. I guess that's a silver lining.
Did you think that? No. Okay.
Not Mandela effect.
But was there for a year or two.
Wow. That's how Stinchcomb came up. Yeah. Because I was like, can you imagine going to high school with that circus going on? Because he was still, the younger brother was still in high school, right?
I hate to say this because I really do like Miss Lewinsky, but I prefer my mom, Monica Pasman.
Oh, no. It was so awful. Whoa. If you were asked to recall a conversation, you would probably not remember all the likes, the ums. You would try to remember the smart erudite things you said.
She's a very good mom.
That's okay. Everything's always okay.
I very rarely leave my apartment. When you find a place you like where I'm at in Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, USA, you stick around.
All right. Love you. Love you, Erin. Love yous. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Exactly. Incredible point you made, hour 10. Exactly.
Not the snarky things that you say about people you love. And I never liked the sound of my voice to begin with. So all of that. And then, of course, they became public.
You had come to terms at least with, that's how my voice sounds, right? You'd already crossed that. Oh, no. No. Okay.
It was just pushed down on the list of awful things. There's that where it's just like, my voice, my voice, my voice. Yeah. Yeah. And then also this thing about repeating myself. Even I listened to our first chat, half of it on the way here, because I was like, what if I tell all the same stories again? What if I'm actually not as interesting as I think I am? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I think too, in terms of listening, it took me a handful of... interviews to feel like, OK, maybe I cracked this and I was so proud of myself. And then I listened and I was like, oh, I wasn't actually. Maybe it was good because I didn't say very much this time.
Oh, you don't want to spoil it?
Monica, have you broken any bad habits? Monica edits, so she has to hear every single thing she says. I at least get a version. By the time I hear it, it's been dramatically cleaned up. So even at that, I've got a lot of work to do.
I think of the ethics all the time that you have to have. When you're editing arguments between us, you have so much integrity because to keep in a great point that someone, your adversary quotes made, it's got to be hard.
And not adding lots of ums.
She has a ton of integrity. I just want to scream from the rooftop. She has incredible integrity. And often I imagine myself in the same situation as her. And I think I have integrity. Yeah. But it would be really hard. Forget whether or not I could pull it off. It would just be like, fuck, OK.
Adolf Hitler. Slightly different views. Slightly. Vladimir Putin.
Loaded for bear.
It's really hard to compartmentalize. And it's in your ear. You're listening. Yes. Did you have a background in storytelling that led you to the editing part?
Between the Monicas.
Monica's a great writer.
We go through stuff. It's just random order. You can't predict it. It just happens to be two male comedians that have this stuff that happened because they both have specials coming up. And then for two or three weeks of our life, both through the interview, then the edit and the fact check, we can't not be in the cloud of that experience. And it is just kind of funny.
Oh. Yeah. I like that, my Monica.
I guess it's great, actually. It keeps life going. which is we're always in some weird cloud of whatever the guests were.
How deep do you get? When you hear it has pretty much a good pass and done. Yeah.
For the most part, I'm hearing version two. But then sometimes I'll go back to the assembly for the interview. And then I have a great moment of being like, wow, you fucking didn't ask that question. How could you not ask that question? As a follow up of assuming I had asked it and just passing judgment on people going, why would you cut that from the conversation? And then it turns out.
Please enjoy, not our Monica, Lewinsky.
It's not essential.
I'm so glad you're laughing at me. No, it's such an insular weird thing.
It is. It is. Has it been hard for you to ask the next deeper question? Like they've offered to pursue a road. It happened one second ago. You say the Linda Tripp tapes.
I like you. I don't want you to have to get embroiled in any of it. Also, that's fascinating. I need to know more about sitting and listening to a conversation, right? So it's like those little nudges you have to give yourself. Those come easy or hard for you?
They're hard for me. Probably a little bit because I'm codependent. It's really important for me that somebody comes to have a chat. They feel protected. Exactly. I don't want to trigger anybody. I don't want someone to be upset. So I think it's probably that.
And then still because I just did my 12th interview. That's still kind of new. I'm definitely present. I'm definitely having conversations that are interesting to me and exciting to me. But I still feel like I could be more present.
Not as worried about the thing you're creating.
Right. Or trusting myself, too. Just trusting yourself that you can sit down and have a conversation with someone. I think especially with the show and the theme of reclaiming, it's not hard hitting. And so my assumption has been I can sit down and have a conversation with anyone and it'll flow out. It's not something will come. Right. But that takes trust.
That's the curve of this experience, I think, is you just get more and more confident. Oh, the thing will happen. It always happens.
Zins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right.
So they brought you back.
Oh, my God. Steady, steal. Okay.
Oh, that's kind of cool.
That's so long ago.
And don't they have playgrounds there that are specifically to get kind of her design so that there's tools and stuff to play with and nails and real shit?
It's amazing how quickly you adjust to that California lifestyle.
I was talking about this with a friend last night because I went to the Beyonce concert. And this is a very, very good singer I was with. And we decided that you can kind of, with training, raise yourself three degrees. If you're born as a seven, which is very high, you could get to a ten. But if you're born a three, you're not getting to a 10.
Even if you work so hard, you're probably going to max out at a six or seven.
With singing and dancing, I think.
To me, I think comedy is a more learned skill in general. Singing.
And comedy, I think if you're in the right circumstance, if you have enough trauma.
And if you're around comedy a ton, you do start infiltrating that a little bit more.
You can listen to as much music as you want.
I'm kind of nervous too. Are you?
You guys, this guy? Yeah, that smile really took a turn.
I know what it is.
You are very measured and in control of yourself. It also seems clear in a beautiful way. You're not going to go anywhere you don't want to go. You have full control.
Yeah, I'm like, we don't deserve to be doing this anymore. Hey, Dax, I think we should stop.
I also think part of what has changed is Instagram. This is maybe the positive part of Instagram. You don't need to go to the grocery store and flip through this horrible magazine to find a picture of someone's kid. A lot of people post pictures of their kids that are chosen and they're curated, so it's available.
Also, we start at the beginning of this conversation talking about the importance of kids being able to be out in free range and running around. And if they can't because there are people taking pictures of them, that's an added layer of what they're imprisoned by, which is so unfair.
Probably 12. Wow. That's young for Baywatch.
Yeah, that's great. You wouldn't know it while talking to you.
We've had a few people on who have left school early and they're always the smartest people in the room because of this. They have this idea that the reason they don't know things is because of their lack of schooling. So they're making up for it. Whereas if you've gone through all this schooling, you're like, yeah, I just don't know that because I don't know. There's no hang up about it.
Does that make sense?
Did you have an interesting relationship with adults since you were a kid but behaving as an adult? Did you seek the safety of other adults in your life?
It's so lovely. We're like the odd couple.
Female friendship is so beautiful. We're talking about it more. It will come up when we talk about your show. But seeing it out in the world is really nice for young girls. Because there's a lot of competition also amongst girls and it's good to see these two people are soulmates.
If you can find that, that's what I want for any young person.
Look at that. But also with Brokeback, all of you guys turned out to be huge stars. And not just stars, the best of the best as far as acting accolades. And it's fun to me that he obviously could see that in all of you and put this cast together.
We used to only do this and then we were forced to add video.
Now we like it. We've been doing it a lot. But this is the original space and it's really nice. It's so cozy.
Did you always know you wanted to have kids? Some women, they're five and they're like, I know I'm going to be doing this.
A lot of probably toots.
Yeah, well, we invite it.
Yeah, you got it, yeah. I saw that at the Cannes Film Festival. I saw it, I was there in college. I studied abroad at the Cannes Film Festival and we snuck our way into some of the movies.
Yep. Yeah, I was there. Oh my God.
Probably from very, very far away. Very, very far away.
That movie is so perfect. Thanks.
It's so heavy and beautiful.
No, yeah, you do a good job.
Also, such a magnifying glass on your flaws. Did you learn about your own flaws via this?
Well, it's just that there's no one you're going to meet who doesn't annoy you. Yeah.
Do you think, okay, earlier, just four minutes ago, you said you'd bit off more than you could chew with the RV. Is that a motto? Yes. That's me. I'm feeling this as a through line. You just take on a lot.
I can't. I can't. The fact that these are real things happening.
It's like, what's wrong with him?
I thought maybe he was asking like, what's, is there an original impetus for it?
You were born to be my mom and that's it. Yeah.
I was just listening to Malcolm Gladwell talking about this, but he might have been referencing someone else. He was talking about the passing of his father, and he said, I know him better now than I did when he was alive. Which is such a beautiful thing that you can keep knowing these people in ways you could never have known them when they were your mom or dad.
No, I think they will. I would.
Yeah. Is that like whoa?
It's kind of the theme of the show.
Each room has a tooth.
We looked it up once. I forget.
See, the intimacy coordinator would have known.
I think we might just need to bring the camera up just a bit.
What's inherently bad or good about a specific sexual activity? People are like, that's bad or kinky or that's in this bucket. But what makes that bucket that bucket?
Thank you. I'm embarrassed.
Squeeze every day out that we can.
Also, the irony of we're so obsessed with the timeline of death. We don't know about any of us. We can just go through life as if, well, that's far away, but our timeline could be any minute.
You figured it all out.
We've been wanting to have you on for years and years and years. So we feel very lucky.
It feels like a gift you gave us.
Do you smell something?
Oh, interesting. What do you think it is? There is something different.
Oh, no. Good job, Rob. Got it.
I'm wearing eyeliner.
Why don't you try it? I think we should try it first with brown eyeliner on you. I think black is going to look really... Let's work our way up.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I posted a picture of my mom and I on Mother's Day.
Rob, do you want to put it up?
You better go to that YouTube.
My mom is wearing eye makeup. She's wearing under eye makeup in it or whatever. She's wearing eyeliner.
And I, and I was like, oh, it looks so nice. And I used to wear it.
Oh, well, also the majority, I would say like 99.99% of the comments on that picture are about how I look exactly like her.
I take it as a major compliment.
And who are you going to practice on?
That's the dream to look like Vinny.
But her eyes are very big, too.
Wait, that's another thing we could invent. A practice dummy.
Okay, the size of their eyes.
Anyway, so she is wearing eyeliner, if you can see, under her eyes. And I thought it looked really pretty. And so I wanted to bring it back.
What? What? That feels left field to me. It does?
Yeah, she does look so cute. My dad.
God, your compliments have gotten so bad.
Okay. I wouldn't say that. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings all the time. Anyway.
Anyway. So that's what the eyeliner is about.
And I thought it looks pretty. And since we look the same, I was like, oh yeah, I should start doing that again.
That's a great one. And it could also double as a, what do they call it? Like a sensory.
Okay. I have a few things to talk about. I know.
And you just sit in silence and don't say it. Yeah.
Yes, but real, before I get into my story, I just wanted to remind, if people have missed the Mo episode because they didn't know who he was, I recommend to go back and listen to that. It's a really good episode. Kate Mara voice messaged me today. She did. Uh-huh.
Oh, I'm dying to see it. I want to see it this weekend. Is it great?
That's what she said.
Did you go to Pam's Coffee?
Yeah, Tim Robinson.
Oh, I cannot wait. I can't wait to see it.
Love him. Kate messaged me that she listened. She was listening to the Mo episode and that she loved it and that it was really beautiful. And she hadn't she didn't know him before. And now she's going to watch the show.
Great. So check it out if you haven't seen that or listen to that. OK.
Or seen or listened. Another thing before my story.
Easter egg. Easter egg spurt.
That's what I said. Easter egg spurt.
Because it's an Easter egg.
Okay. This morning I was on Instagram and I saw Mandy Moore had like she posted something and it was when she was young and it reminded me of the Hunked episode.
Yes. And I had to watch it. Oh, wow. Yeah, it got in my head.
Yes, and I watched it this morning. And it is so funny. It is so funny.
When did you break?
Oh, is that when you said I have to go see what the damage is?
It's really fun for me to see you before I knew you.
God, I guess this might sound like one of your compliments. Oh, great. One of your horrible compliments. Because I know you so well.
I think sometimes I forget the obvious things about you.
Like when I'm watching it, I was like, God, he's so funny.
But I know that about you. Obviously, you're funny every day. I'm around you.
I don't know. I was just like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dax is so funny. Oh, thank you.
I don't want to ruin it. And like same if I watch Parenthood, I'm like, oh, yeah, he's so good.
But then when we're here and I'm like, you know, annoyed by you because you're doing.
Exactly. Then it's like a weird dissonance. I kind of don't think of that person as the person I know.
Right. But even now, if I see you on screen now, every time, ever since I've known you.
I mean, I could still see objectively like, oh, that's funny or oh, that's good. But I'm not, it's not the same.
I think it would tickle. I would have different feelings about it. I would have more like, oh, like my my friend did a good job feeling.
As opposed to like. Just blind. Like, oh, that's so funny.
Yeah. And then and I always have this weird like, you know, it ended and I was like, I can't believe that's him. Like, I can't believe I know that person the way I do. Life is weird.
Because I watched Punk'd.
Yes. It's so strange.
Yeah. You changed industries sort of.
Yeah. And this is, does that make you feel good or bad or does it matter?
Weird. Life is curvy and swervy.
And I wonder, I don't know, who knows how long we'll be doing this. Right.
Unknowable. But- I think what's weird for me is sometimes I wonder, like, this potentially is your acting. Like, this is my first life.
You know, and there might be for me, not likely, there will be another thing after this.
Yeah, weird. Anyway, it was really funny. If you want to check that out, it's on YouTube. While you're on YouTube, go ahead and head over to the Armchair Expert.
Go ahead and subscribe.
Well, you should watch it. Okay, I guess I've just been taking in a lot of you on accident.
Because, well, I've been down a Malcolm Gladwell rabbit hole.
After I listened to the Joe Rogan one and then the RFK one, I was like, fuck, this show's so good. I forgot. And I thought, oh, I'm sure I've missed a lot of these episodes. So I should go back and look at some. Yeah. And he did a bunch before Revenge of the Tipping Point or during that time. We had him on for that show, so I don't think I was paying much attention to revisionist history then.
But I was like, oh, I'll check this out. And there's one... I just have to really, really commend him. Actually, one's a ding, ding, ding, because it's about him basically saying there's a section in the tipping point about the broken windows theory, which comes up in an upcoming episode for us, which is funny. Yeah. And he comes on and he says, I was wrong about that.
He straight up says, I was wrong. This is why. And it is so... Interesting to hear someone just come out and be like, this thing that got a ton of traction for him is wrong.
Yeah, but it now looking at it over time, crime went down, went down after stop and frisk was taken away. And all these people, Giuliani, Trump are used and they use the phrase, right? They use broken windows. Yeah. And he's like, it didn't. That's not why. But they use it as a scare tactic. He said, I believed it.
And now I know it's not true. And it was it was really funny. You know, he plays this clip from Giuliani and then he plays a clip of Trump saying it. And he said he says, sometimes I stay up. At 3 a.m. And I think, oh, God, did he read the tipping point, too? And everyone read it. And that's such a weird thing to think. Like you wrote something that everyone read and was persuaded by the pressure.
That's a lot of pressure.
Yeah, you can't, but it's just wild. Anyway, so then he has a couple episodes on the Varsity Blues, the kids who, the parents who paid for their kids to go to Ivy League universities. And you are in those episodes.
Yeah, you're a voice actor.
Really, it was so weird because I was just like listening to these episodes and all of a sudden he's like, and to play blah, blah, blah, these, you know, He's like, my voice actors, Britt Marling and Dax Shepard. And I was like, whoa, my God, what is going on?
Yeah, full infiltration. And then you go into your bathroom and go, hi. You talk to me through my speaker. Anyway, so that was great.
Okay, now I have a story.
I was home to visit my mom for Mother's Day and I heard the craziest story. And I was like, maybe I shouldn't bring it up because it's like kind of it is sort of political, but it's wild. And I feel like I have to share it. My friend's sister lives in pretty rural Georgia.
And she has a kid in preschool.
Because the public schools really aren't very good. What's, like, the PC term for that? Whatever. They're not good. Underperforming? Yeah, I guess so. She sends her kid to a private school in rural Georgia, and it's pre-K through 12. Okay. So for some—I don't know if it was Halloween or something— They threw this like big assembly event and each grade had to dress up as a theme.
And so the pre-K was like, you know, superheroes and princesses, whatever. Yeah. Standard theme. And then one of the themes for like a youngish grade, look to me like third grade, I saw pictures of this, was Hurricane Helene. That was the theme.
Yeah. Yeah. Which is... Like, what do you play?
So some people were like the hurricane.
One girl was a FEMA check.
But why do Hurricane Helene...
It ravaged Augusta. Right. But that's also why it's weird, right?
It impacted that area.
Well, you haven't heard the knockout punch here.
There's another grade. The theme was the Trump assassination. Okay. And this is, this is real.
And all these boys are dressed up as like secret service. And then there's one boy dressed up as Trump. And he has this, the full mat. He's like wearing a mask, a Trump mask. And like, you know, his ears all bandaged up and, And and then there's like, you know, kids, kids, fifth grade ish looking kids in MAGA hats. And it was really it was like, oh, yeah.
And also at my friend, my friend, she was like, this is how it works. Like if you have any questions about like how, if you're like, you know, living in California and you're like, I just don't get it. This is how.
It starts so young.
Like, isn't that wild?
And I know, I don't want to get mad at you and I don't want it. And it's fine if it's your compulsion, but I would, I mean, these, my friends who are also like my friends who were shocked by this, right there. Georgia people, they're not like- They're not- What you would say is- Coastal city elites. Exactly. And they're like, there's no way that's real.
But no school here is doing dress up like a, be it, pretend you're a cat day.
That's I mean, look, that's one story you heard. Right. Like that's not a sweeping thing.
This person is our president.
I mean, it's a private school.
But that is part of why like a public school doesn't, isn't able to do things like that.
And, and then I was thinking like, if I had my, if I lived there. Right.
What would I do? These are the options. A very underperforming public school or this like this is a bad situation for making decisions.
You might not have the money. Like, I mean, there's just a lot of factors here that make it for me. Like, I understand this is hard.
But that's what I was like, now this kid is in a horror, like, let's say this kid was of age of one of these horrible themes, right?
And his mom, my friend's sister, is like, no, you're probably not going to dress up as a FEMA check, you know? Then he might be like, well, I'll be an out cat. Like, this is so... The pressure. Yes. It's upsetting. Yes.
I guess you're right. It's just hard. It's hard to be an outcast. It's really hard. I went to church with my friends.
Because, you know.
That's really wild.
Well, but North Carolina is the university system.
Yeah, that's interesting. Ours is the university system, CLA or UC, I guess.
A lot of it's health care.
21 states, Walmart is the largest employer. Wow.
That's cool. I like that.
We're going to transition into facts now.
Okay, Michelle Fax. Larry Mantle. Oh, great.
He is a... Man. Toll. Okay. Larry Mantle is an American radio talk show host and journalist on the Southern California NPR station LAist. LAist?
Mantle hosts Air Talk with Larry Mantle, which is the longest running daily talk show currently on Los Angeles radio.
Yeah. There's a picture of him we have up here. He's 66. Mm-hmm. He was born here in LA.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay. While in graduate school, Mantle was living in Pasadena and listened to NPR's All Things Considered on KPCC. He knew that KPCC also produced a daily one-hour local news program and used community volunteers and Pasadena City College students to supplement a small professional staff.
Mantle started volunteering at KPCC and was soon anchoring newscasts and providing play-by-play of college and high sports carried by the station. Later, Mantle became the first local morning edition host for KPCC. After briefly working for CBS News Talk affiliate, Mantle returned to KPCC as news director in 1983.
Two years later, he launched Airtalk with the intention of combining listener calls from an analytic and news savvy audience with local experts and newsmakers. That's all it says.
It doesn't say that he struggled.
Yeah, it's true. He has a son.
He returned as the news director for KPCC in 1983, two years later, so 1985.
Very big congrats. Okay, she said it was a tough day for NPR. That was Friday, a couple of Fridays ago, I guess. He had the day before Trump had issued an executive order directing the corporation for PBS, Public Broadcasting's Board of Directors, to cease federal funding for NPR and PBS.
Yeah, and it's making sure that media stays divisive and private.
And that's like the opposite of what we need right now.
Maybe. But is it left-leaning because people on the left are listening? Like, that's not a fair assessment of it.
But is it left leaning because it's telling the truth? There's some truths that are happening right now that a lot of that maybe Republicans would say are left leaning, but they're they're the truth.
I don't know about.
But again, is it what you're attracted to is that it's... It's true facts being told.
My guess is, yeah, maybe I just don't know. But I assume they do cover both sides. Like I think the daily often you hear the other point of views you hear. They will interview people who are on both sides. So you you can hear what everyone is thinking.
But you can't do it until you're in it and after. Right.
Based on what, though? But that affected this level. It couldn't happen.
That's what I said. Anyway, that had just happened the day before. So that's why she said that.
Now, Leonardo DiCaprio and his T-Rex.
Yeah, it says he doesn't own a T-Rex. He has an interest in dinosaur fossils and has purchased several, including a Mosasaur skull and an Allosaurus skull. But he is not known to own a complete T-Rex skeleton or fossil, according to many sources.
I don't know. We want it to be true. I'm sure he wants it.
I hope not either.
Okay. The apex. She mentioned the apex. That's, I guess, the new dinosaur discovered. The Stegosaurus dinosaur fossil that is considered one of the largest and most complete of its species ever found. Yeah. It was discovered in Colorado and it's at the American Museum of Natural History.
Wow. That's so cool.
Ooh, imagine getting spiked with one of those.
It's so hard for my brain to integrate that that's real.
That those things really walked this earth.
And like, what will be here? What will be here?
Okay. Now, Malcolm said on this episode of Revisionist History, the Joe Rogan one that we talked about, he said, about his dad in the interview he did with Michael Gervais. He said something very sweet about understanding his dad more in death than now. And I wanted to find that clip.
So sweet. So sweet.
It really is. We love him so much.
We really love him so much. But that is such a beautiful sentiment that you can keep knowing people past their time.
You would love to get another bus going.
Michelle can drive it.
Yeah, I'm with you guys. Also, Jonathan Haidt, he has the new book, Anxious Generation. This is sort of his antidote to all the stuff that's happening with kids and the isolation is make them have a community, but leave. Go send them off to go explore.
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Lily Padman.
She's like a wunderkind.
You were just both into... Yeah.
Give us a simple explanation of London. So you grew up in South London. You said you met in East London.
Your whole family did or just you went to a school or something?
Your sister, your mother and you?
What's the vibe in South London? Like, what are the stereotypes about these pockets of London?
And just never come home to avoid walking uphill.
This is what Kirby's mom's shop was, I think.
Yeah, right. Which goes off.
Especially in the, well, you were born in 87. Maybe they had a past, but there was the whole hoodlamero. It felt like early 90s, maybe.
It was terrible. And they were all wearing berbere. I just learned this recently. That was their thing.
Well, Beckham has saved it, kind of.
That's what got me to buy Burberry's sweater. Monica got me a beautiful one for Christmas. I did.
Right. Okay, so what age was mom when she moved here? Mom and dad both are from Nigeria. Mom was 15 during the Civil War.
Had she already been a nurse in Nigeria?
She came at 24 with who?
When she landed, what was the game plan?
Oh, my God. What a preventative step that probably saves a trillion dollars.
That's different, though, than a postpartum doula. Do you know what a postpartum doula is?
Probably knows about breastfeeding and all that stuff.
Yeah, that would be of great comfort. Every parent has the moment in the car ride home from the hospital and you're like, holy shit, what's in our backseat? Why did they give this to me? This thing's way too fucking fragile to come to our house. Where are the instructions? This thing needs to be in the ICU. Look how tiny it is.
Oh, yeah. And if you fuck up the nutritional aspect of the first three years, like we now know there's so much developmental stuff down river that doesn't happen if certain things aren't met.
I would imagine just to compare and contrast that to someone who is in hospice care, right, where your full time job is watching people die. The weight of that's got to be something else.
She is almost the opposite. She's seen all the excitement and the fun and the hopefulness and the future.
Do you think it has infected her in a positive way?
Is she supremely disappointed you're not going to give her a grandchild?
Yes. And still be able to have a date night whenever you desire.
Take a vacation. That sounds fun.
Yes. At some point. When do you start singing?
And there's nothing like being little and going like, wait, I have control. And I feel so disenfranchised and powerless as this little person, but this is a moment in time I'm in charge. Ooh, it's good.
You're not aware of it then. But when I look back, I also think it's very rare in your life where you can be in control. And I think singing certainly has that. It just happened to me. We saw Wicked. I'm like, okay, I didn't see the musical. I don't love musicals. And then fucking Limitless. And I'm like, fuck. Oh, fucking come on, let's go. Let it rip. And I'm in.
You took complete control of me and whatever baggage I come in with. That's so powerful.
Well, that's the positive way. But I think you're in Capricorn denial.
It's not singular. It's not binary. It's not like, oh, you like it because of the control or you like it because you make people you love happy. That's part of it.
Now, I know nothing about this just from the outside is their knee jerk fear that we're playing math, right? We have the sheet music in front of us and it goes this way to this tempo. But the singer has more latitude and the singer can individualize it. The saxophonist can't individualize it, nor can the oboist.
So is it that sometimes they're like, all right, this person's going to come in and they're going to do whatever the fuck they want. And we're stuck in this grid and then we're going to try to catch them, but then we're going to fall back. Is it that is that their fear that they're going to be doing something that is different from what you're doing?
You got to stick your landing every time.
I just got a point. That means you really agree.
You're pointing right at my face.
You're in your own selfish world.
And what percentage of you just had to guess? How many do you think are respectful?
And in their defense, if it doesn't work out, no one's going like, the oboists suck tonight. They're going to say the singers suck. You are carrying the weight of the whole performance.
Yeah. Can I defend us for a second? Yes. So it's an easy mix up. What I value the most is the truth. Please. And I prefer an inconvenient truth than I do a flowery lie. Just don't do it to me. But I have to acknowledge for other people, that's not the case. They're not interested in that. And that's also fair.
We have the great privilege of seeing Wicked early.
I felt like there's a lot of deception.
Yeah, we're blaming January, but maybe there's more.
Do you have this chip on your shoulder? Do you remember being young and them telling you some kid safe thing that you saw right through? And it felt so disrespectful. Like, I know what's going on and you're trying to fool me. Did you have that sense of like, you're treating me too young?
Well, it depends what your association with the word cute is.
This is all very comedic, though, because that's your bag. That's what you were handed. And that's what you're dealing with. So mine is universally when I meet someone in real life, they go, oh, my God, you're so much bigger in real life. So weirdly, I'm so much bigger in real life than they see me on screen.
So if I wanted, if I'm in the mood, I could go like, I'm not powerful on screen or I'm not. Let that be a whole thing. If you choose, you could really take a personal or something's going on. And what's really complicates it all, not for me as much, because I am given the best benefit of the doubt that a human on planet Earth can be given. I'm a tall white dude.
But if I'm short and black and British, how am I to know what's actually at play here? Is it just normal humanness or is it some kind of bigotry?
You're so sweet or you're so articulate or you're so smart.
Here's what's tricky. There's the historical context of that comment. Basically, what I'm saying is I was expecting you to sound dumb. Yet, you do speak very appealingly. Objectively. Again, how are you to know what the hell's going on?
I think the real move is to just file all of it into that's their stuff.
And it's not my stuff. So my little thing is I'd say at least half the people that come up to me in public, they have come up to me to say, hey, I love your wife. And I go, oh yeah, me too. I don't really know what else to say. You just flagged me down to like, I guess, carry that message onto her. But the truth is many of those people, they don't know what to say.
And people are coming up to Kristen and saying, I love your husband. Now she is objectively more famous than me. So I could let that lower my self-esteem or I could go like, oh yeah, people say it to her too. None of it means anything.
Now it's all fine. And at some point you just have to make a decision for yourself. It's like, well, this could continue to rattle me or I could enjoy my life. Yeah. But if you're a justice warrior, like I am not in the popular sense, but if there's an injustice, I'm running towards justice.
I suffer from it. The person doesn't suffer from it.
Great. And what they probably want to really say, and they're not even sure how to say it, is I'm short-circuiting. You're a person that's on my TV that's now in three dimension.
Yeah, are you a racist asshole?
I don't think I was ever going to admit this out loud. I only told a single person. I knew Monica would be mad at me. I told Eric because he's our shittiest friend and I knew he would maybe agree with this.
Now I'm going to tell the world. Okay. I was not proud of this, but this did happen. I'm at this burger joint down the street for the win. I love it. I'm there by myself. I'm eating a hamburger. There's a man and his wife and two kind of late teens kids. And the man leans over and he goes, I love your wife's commercials. It's cool. They let you be in them.
I take like four or five seconds and I'm like, this guy doesn't know what he just said. Maybe a minute goes by and I go, hey, did you mean to sound like a dick when you said that to me? Or did you just mess up your delivery? Wow. Right. And he goes, what? And I go, well, you said that my wife lets me be in her commercials that I wrote. Yeah. And I just don't know.
Do you realize how that sounded or did you just get nervous? And then he kind of panicked and he goes, yeah, we just love all the work you guys do with mental health.
You're a miniature, too.
Oh, no. And then, y'all, we continue to sit there for another 15 minutes and finish our hamburgers.
I was by myself sitting directly next to the guy. He wasn't even a foot from me.
I've left that apart. I considered for a moment he might be trying to make a joke. He might know that's obviously an insult. And he's just being familiar with me because he knows me. And maybe a buddy of mine would say that from Detroit. And I think I said, were you meaning to be a dick or were you trying to be funny?
To which he didn't answer. He said, I like the work you guys do with mental health.
You're in good company. Are you jealous? She has even bigger pants on than you. I know. Her fashion's unknown. I'm Dax, by the way.
I don't think so either.
And by the time I was asking him, he's already hearing the fight he's having with his wife on the ride home where she's like, why do you have to fucking open your mouth? I'm him in a lot of situations.
Well, that sentence really conveys more emotion than any other one.
And our guest today, Cynthia Erivo, is so dynamic and so powerful and so infectious and intoxicating and euphoria inducing. I fell so in love with her in this movie.
How mad are you at me out of 10?
I should have let the whole thing slide. I don't think anything productive came out of it. Then I came home and I was like, I got to think about it.
The social contract. Yes.
Well, I imagine you are dealing with something different than me. Well, now currently what we deal with, but prior to this show, when I was just an actor, occasionally people were moved by what I did on Parenthood. They laughed a lot at stuff I did. They didn't have cathartic emotional breakthroughs.
You know, your lane in particular, I think, is going to warrant an asymmetric connection where it's like you really connected with my soul and opened up something. And I don't even know what to do with this. We have it from the show. I just did a bunch of meet and greets for my beer company. And I met so many fucking beautiful listeners of the show.
And they're saying like my brother OD'd or I've repaired my relationship with my parents. parents, their addicts, you know, this kind of stuff. And I'm presuming that's the level of connection people are having with you. And I love it, cherish it, feel so lucky to be receiving it. And it's very emotionally exhausting.
Do you want to sit down for two seconds? Because I don't have the knowledge base to talk about what I thought was really funny while I was researching you.
I think it's like when someone writes a cancer survival memoir that's popular. Inevitably, what you're going to hear when you meet people who loved it is their cancer journey or their parents' cancer journey, which is totally appropriate, but also it's a lot. You can't carry all those people.
No, then you're invisible. Yeah.
No, your only solution is to not leave your house.
Okay, Cynthia, I was watching an interview with you, and you had mentioned that you were about to do some Sommheim, and Kristen was readying herself for the day, and she stomped everything. She was like... Who is she playing?
I remember being depressed in my 20s living in Santa Monica and just kind of hopeless. And I'd be like, just walk out your door and just walk. And I'd walk like five miles. And I get back and I'm like, okay, yeah, I can keep going. What a magical thing to walk.
At some point for your mental health, you're going to have to like do some silly something. some silly something. Yeah, because Drift, Harriet, fucking Color Purple, like you're kind of living.
No, you're getting your ass kicked.
What is great about Wicked, and again, I can't believe I'd never seen the musical, but I didn't know anything about the story, which was great.
Can I tell you, I went back to our interview with Adina and she told this crazy story. You know, she got really hurt on stage one time and then they had to rush her to the hospital. And she was saying this in the interview and like, I'm all green. And I'm like, I don't know what that means. She can't really be all green.
I didn't even know she was all green in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I saw you and I was like, oh my God, now that story makes sense. She was in the ER completely green.
And it's such a great, I don't want to call it a trope, that feels dismissive, but it's a great architecture to watch someone just fucking take it on the chin. It's gut-wrenching. I hate it. Especially the Justice Warrior me. I want you to go like, hey, fuck all y'all. I'm better than all y'all. I'm maddened by it. And it's so sticky and good and great story.
This is not a popular opinion that I have, but I have it. And I don't know where this comes from in me, but I'm a white trash kid and I got to grow up and be free of that. And I don't have to tell the story of every socially and financially disenfranchised person. And I have always felt a little bit of sympathy. If you're famous and you're black, there feels like some obligation.
Do you want to air your grievance?
Like you can't not be political. That's just not on the table. And although I think it's great to pursue those things, I also think it's yet another thing that's not fair about the whole experience. You finally transcended this. And now you also need to be a social leader for me. And for you, I imagine like telling these stories, do you feel some obligation?
Like, yeah, I'm the best person to tell the color purple story. I'm obliged to do so.
Also, take a look at Sopranos.
The most successful show ever.
That's what's kind of clever about Wicked is she's green.
Right. So your grievance, as I recalled, was you only played the child in that. Is that the same musical? Yes.
Well, Ariana is perfect. But we immediately don't like that.
Well, the most important thing is neither is thriving from the identity they've taken on.
Yeah. Oh, my God. So good. We love John Chu. We've known John forever. He's the director.
When you're a carpenter and you're building a house, it's hard. Yes. But fuck is it rewarding. Yes. It's all going right. Exactly. And that's so rewarding.
Visually, choreography. Oh, my God.
Putting it on is one thing.
And is that shit bad for your skin?
Why did you say yes? You wanted to look in the mirror and yeah, I get that.
Can I see your hands? I couldn't tell if it was your nails were so long if you were wearing some kind of hand thing.
Can I ask you a really crazy question? It's inappropriate. Go on. When you're wiping your butt. I knew you would ask that question. I know, but everyone thinks it.
Yeah. I guess my question is, does the tissue go on the tip of the fingernails or do you try to get the tissue on the pads of the fingers? Great, great, great, great. We're getting somewhere. And then, okay. And then you're just feeling a little tickle of the nails on your crack of your butt sometimes?
I wonder, okay, what I would do if I were you is I would wrap my whole, I'd make a mitten.
Now, are you offended by that question? Are you like, I get it.
No one thinks that. In fact, everyone thinks you smell so good. It begs the question, how are you wiping your tush?
This isn't a pass on everyone without nails. This is what I'm saying. So everyone's asking that question.
I kind of thought everyone would think that but not be bold.
I knew you could handle it.
I love them. I was just thinking of the ergonomics in that exact situation.
Can we go back in time for a second? Yeah. You originally went to University of East London. That's right. And you were majoring in psychology of music or music psychology. What is music psychology?
I'm so happy. I was praying you would sing at least for a second and you just did. So thank you. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.
I said, what do you mean? Hold on. First of all, I didn't say that because I don't know the names of the characters. But what I did say is that you are closer in age. This is bad news, I'm going to tell you. You're closer in age to 63 than you are 24. True. I said, now look, you could put on a ton of makeup and play 24. They could do some prosthetics and age you down.
If you want to sing more at any point, let me know.
It is. And do you find there's two different camps of people? So Monica and I are in different camps. I'm obsessed with music. It's a huge part of my life. But it's generally the music. The singing, sure. It's not the lyrics for me.
And so Monica's heavily driven by lyrics. I have even shared a couple songs with Monica. And she'll be like, well, this song's a real bummer. And I'm like, it is? And then I'm like, oh, yeah, it's kind of about battered. Look at the world.
And I've completely missed it.
Yeah. One of the most interesting things about music to me, this is what I studied in college, which is cultural anthropology. I'll be in other countries and I'm listening to the music that everybody loves. And I'm like, how on earth do they like this music? Right, right, right. It's so cultural.
Largely when I'm in Mexico and I hear that it is all German inspired, their musical genre in Mexico is polka drive.
So the... Yeah. And I go like, yeah, if I grew up in Mexico, I would love this music. Then that's what you're hearing, of course. And that is fascinating. You think music's somehow objective to some degree, and it's not.
Or you could go out on stage with no makeup and you'd be playing 64. Can you believe?
Really quick. Why didn't you want to go there?
And did you like it immediately? Because you're now the vice president. What does that mean? You are? Is that a ceremonial position? How on earth do you have time to be a vice president of a fucking college? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
This is John Batiste, too. Do you remember when he's at Juilliard and he wants to be performing?
Yes, correct. Yeah, it's the same space, the same level. It had royal in the title, and I assume that.
It's ludicrous. That's why I say it because obviously she's a beauty.
Yeah. You're going to kill yourself. Dex is worried about your time.
I want to ask you a very inappropriate question. Were you in love with any of your teachers?
Monica was in love with one of her teachers. Yes. Still pines for Cubby.
Did you have any crushes on your teachers?
You didn't. That's fair. I didn't have any on mine either.
I was only going to ask, like, if I was teaching at 37 at a college, I think I would be mildly like, oh, Jesus, does this person have a crush on me? Because there's a weird magic to the whole thing.
Don't tell me. Oh, you have me confused with a human. I am an acting teaching robot.
I think I'd fall in love with you.
But aren't people always falling in love with the idea of the other person? I guess so.
Yet with great luck, you end up falling in love with the real person. But more often, you go, oh, no, this whole thing was a projection.
But she'll be doing the same to that person because that person would have captivated some other fantasy and imagination. So it would be complimentary, I think.
I shouldn't have even asked you that question. You're in a compromised position as the dean of this school.
I'm going to suggest someone more likely would think they're in love with you. But what they're in love with is they want to be you. You'd be very aspirational. It's like, I want to be an empowered woman who's got a Tony and a Grammy. And so you would represent some kind of fantasy wish fulfillment. And that could be misinterpreted as love as well.
You've already done it or you're about to do it?
I'm very sorry. With all apologies.
Thank fucking God. I was sure it was a white guy thing.
What a quitter. She almost made it to 100.
Did you want for more or were you happy it was only four nights?
Oh, that's a wild ride.
She's one of our few. I always say this about Taylor Swift. When people try to figure out what is the magic that's happening for me, a big part seems like, at least through my little girl's eyes, is that she is a fully formed, self-created matriarchy. And I would argue Barbara was an early, like created her own matriarchy world around herself. I can see that as inspirational.
Yeah, leave some for the rest of us, bro. With all this said, how mentally prepared do you feel like you are for Wicked? Because I can't imagine you are.
No. I feel like I have some insight into what you're going to go through, which is I think this thing will be what Frozen was. Yeah.
And I think you'll have parents for the next five years coming up and complaining to you that their kid will not stop listening to a certain song over and over and over again. And then I think you'll have a lot of Parents bringing over young children to meet you at the table, but the children have no fucking clue what's going on. I don't understand what you're telling me.
What are you talking about? You're a person. Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God you're not green. I know. In real life. You should fuck around one time. Just go out as green. When this thing really peaked. You should go set up shop at a cheesecake factory.
So I guess I have one remaining question about kind of how you got to this place because we didn't talk about your childhood as much as I like to. How old were you when mom and dad got divorced?
They were never married.
How frequently were you seeing him?
And not talk shit about him to you?
That's so nice. My mom did that as well. And as you get older, don't you respect it even more? I completely respect it. It almost seems impossible.
Was he struggling with stuff?
Does it materialize in relationships?
But you have your arms around it now.
Were you generally attracted to people you had some subconscious notion that they were going to abandon you?
Yeah. Unavailable people.
Isn't it funny how fucking generic it is?
Oh, what's the situation with this kid? Okay, I'll tell you exactly what's going to happen in 12 years.
You sense it somehow. The second you're so hot for somebody, there's a huge clue that there's some parental damage underneath of it.
Do you agree? I had to go, oh, wow, I actually have to actively go the opposite direction of what I want. I got to experiment with that.
Yeah. It's a great engine.
That kind of thing. What a great motivator that is.
Well, I think one of the great tricks in life that everyone has to figure out is what got you to the party isn't what's going to keep you at the party. And it's so hard to accept that or believe in that.
You need a new fuel source to stay.
All blessings to this thing. But it's actually going to get you asked to leave. Yeah. So you seem to have the same... Kristen has a really, really... In-depth knowledge of music and reading music and all the math that's associated with music. Where did you learn that? Did you learn that at Royal Academy? I learned it at secondary school or high school. You went to a Catholic school?
I don't know what you're doing.
Can we sing Window Seat?
She wasn't that late. I don't believe you one bit.
Maybe she was still on American time.
I've waited three hours to see her and I didn't care.
Interesting. Cause I was just going to ask, do you have a mode where you'll just, you know, the melody still, and you just kind of make up some words until we find our way back.
Now you said the highlight is being in the stage and having that open line of communication with the audience. It's really happening. So I'm wondering the moment in the Requiem. Yes. Do you experience something in that insane mass of harmony that can compete with the other solo thing?
You gotta be like MDMA.
You do realize how lucky you are, y'all. Yeah. I mean, really, you're having an experience on planet Earth that really very few people can ever touch.
We understand that we are story creatures. We understand that we passed on our culture and our knowledge through story. We're starting to really understand it neurologically. But we haven't really cracked what music is.
My uncle who went to Juilliard, who was a trumpet player, he told me, yeah, mathematically, every single song's already been written. Yes. There'll never be a new piece of music. That's so wild.
I think part of it is... It seemingly has absolutely no purpose.
But it seems like a weird thing for a human to do at any given time. Right. And there's something I think just starting with that premise, which is like this serves no purpose, is interesting. So we know we're doing it for some other calling. It's like the closest we have to touching something kind of mystical.
And you're doing it at like the apex level.
Thank you. Thank you for saying that. I could not put too fine a point on how great Wicked is. It's outrageous.
When you're experiencing some lip from somebody, you have to go through such a long list. You're like, is it because I'm a woman? Is it I'm small? Is it I'm Indian? Is that I hate dogs? Is that I hate musicals?
You're not helping yourself figure out what's really going on in any way. What a delight to meet you, Cynthia.
You got to urge people to go to shit, but I don't. In fact, I could say like, whatever you do, do not go on November 22nd to see Wicked. And I know you'll be there.
Is it a secret when the second one will come out?
And you filmed them both at once, obviously. We filmed them both at once. How long did that take? A year?
And then she arrived and she over-delivered. You have seen her in Harriet, Windows, Bad Times at El Royale, The Color Purple on Broadway. She's won all the awards. And of course, November 22nd, just in time for the big Turkey Day, Wicked. You're going to want to run out and see it. Buy your tickets now. Pre-order. If you didn't pre-order a month ago, you should already be panicked.
So four months of rehearsals.
We were doing like a Broadway show.
Oh, wow. And Ariana's fantastic.
Again, back to the thing we were talking about, trying to figure out everything. So, yeah, you have a package. Monica has a package. I have a package. The perfect end of the package also sucks sometimes. Yes. It's like very hard to be sympathetic to someone who looks like her and has her career. And she's just as worthy of it. Anyone's sympathy. You love her, right?
You guys have really fallen in love.
It's almost a bed sore at that point.
Yeah, you know, in some weird way, it's lucky you did it at this age. Because if you tried to do this at 45 with this long-ass career, you'd be like, I am not getting in that harness again.
And it's rare that I can ask women to feel bad for men, but I've spent a lot of time in harnesses, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just put a penis and balls in that same harness as well as everything else that's going on. You're in it sometimes going, well, this can't be how it is, right? Like, this is... Probably gonna destroy my reproductive capabilities.
All right, you win. I adore you. I hope everyone goes and sees Wicked November 22nd. And I hope we end up interviewing you a dozen more times as you promote other things. Wonderful.
Also, Kristen has just started doing this thing on Sunday. She started a choir club.
So if you're ever here on Sunday, I'm sure she would love for you to come. And it's just a bunch of nerds like you guys fucking singing together.
Yeah, because there's no point to it other than remembering that you love music.
What you're saying is I'm not going to gaslight you audience. This is all fucked up.
That's how I heard it. That's how you heard it. Okay.
I guess those people have to listen to Armchair Anonymous and or go back and listen if it already came out.
Because, of course, I remember it more of a playful, hey, is there anything like really trivial about each other that we want to air?
But yeah, I inquired. By the way, you don't have a case on your phone.
You're absolutely right. You can't look.
Like you need to protect your phone. How low class.
Funny enough, someone in the comments had like, someone wrote like, totally off topic to the episode, but why aren't any of the people in TV shows or movies using a phone with a phone case on it? No one does this. And they were saying their anxiety of watching a phone in scenes without a case is a lot.
So I said, you know, generally they have the permit, minimally the permission of the phone manufacturer. And so if the phone manufacturer is like, yes, you can use our product and they probably supply products. They don't want it all obscured with a phone case.
Yeah. I like that you're calling it a phone company.
Or they call what's Greek-ing it. We'll find out if that holds up. But you Greek things on a set, too, or you obscure the logo a little bit.
Put a little tape over this and that. You'll see a lot of, if people look closely, they'll see a lot of Mac computers being used in things with a little tape on it.
Yep. Covering up that logo. What a great logo, by the way. Not a sponsor.
Not a sponsor, but what a cute apple.
I'm looking directly at yours, of course.
We have not greeted it, no. My brother visited yesterday.
For just, I don't know, 12 hours. Wow. Because he was going on a cruise leaving out of Long Beach. So he and my sister-in-law, Tammy, came from... 1 p.m. till the evening. And we went out to Cafe 101 slash Clark Street. It's not really Cafe 101 anymore. Had a lovely lunch, played spades, came back. And then we wandered into here and we sat down and we just started chatting.
And it was incredibly touching and fun. connected and we were talking about our childhoods together and realizations we have. And there was even some damp eyes at times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah, and it was really, really, really special.
What have you in so far as the scene? I want everyone to reenter. in the lobby and mill about. We're going to ring the bell.
Well, we hugged when he got here and then we hugged a long time when he left.
No. That felt too much. Well, it just didn't feel terribly necessary. What we did is afterwards we played pickleball.
Meaning you know how to say the right thing? Yes. Okay.
Oh, OK. So specifically whether or not to touch them.
I don't feel a compulsion to touch people. And maybe this is arrogant, but when that happens to me and it's generally a man, like if it's happening and it's another man, I immediately feel super flattered.
The main feeling I have is like. I'm so lucky that this person feels comfortable doing this in front of me. It doesn't give me anxiety or like I got to do the right thing. To me, the right thing already happened, which is why they're doing it in front of you.
Then come in. Maybe too far. Okay, just to be provocative for one second. Go on. One second. For two hours. Did you see American Symphony, the John Batiste documentary?
No, I don't feel any. Well, I inevitably will comfort and just will be talking about whatever it is there. And I'll be hopefully dialed in and thoughtful in asking questions.
But I get no anxiety. But I understand the anxiety.
It's just touching. Yeah. Okay. Your words are fine, as you said.
What if I start gently brushing my brother's hair back behind his ear? I mean, does it have enough to tuck behind his ear? Not that he can't. He couldn't. He has very thick hair above his ears.
That's very sexual. I mean, so is putting the hair behind the ear. It is. But no, I didn't. No. You don't do that. No. A full breakdown? Yeah. Yes. I would have probably moved over to that couch.
I just put my arm around him and hoped that he wanted to hide his head in my shoulder.
But that would have been a full breakdown.
Yeah, for sure. And I'm trying.
I get like you, I don't know what to do. That would have been my guess. Yeah, I do. Rob, here's a question, Rob. Yep. So that totally makes sense for me. If it's Natalie, I know what to do. Of course. But other people. And your children. There's exceptions. Yeah. But Rob, do you think, and this sounds like I'm fishing for a compliment. I'm truly not. I'm just genuinely curious.
We've been working nearly every day together for seven years. Do you think my willingness to do that with men has at all like rubbed off on you?
What a beautiful doc, right?
Like, do you think like you would take a nice long hug for me, right?
It's more. I'd love to hug you if you ever had a sad moment. If I needed to cry. Yes. If you want to schedule one, I'm totally available.
But if you remember, he's at Carnegie Hall and all the power goes out.
Yeah, sure, sure. You've seen me cry a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Callie, I presume. Or do you keep it buttoned up?
And he's fucked. I can't imagine anything more stressful. And then talk about 27 things going on in his life. He's got the Grammys, his wife. And then... he starts letting his internal emotions come out on this piano keyboard. And he's processing this frustration and this everything. And then slowly it starts fusing with this melody. And then it becomes beautiful.
That's the best kind when you're acting. And that's what you're supposed to do as an actor. You're supposed to try to not cry.
But most of the time you're trying to cry really hard. And then the second it starts, then you got to act like you're not.
Acting 107. I did learn it in college.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Erin and I used to, we had this, I mean, we did this so often, we would laugh at ourselves for doing it, which is we would... Our thing was we drank with everybody, all of our friends, but he and I always went another three or four hours. Even from our most hard-charging friends, there was always a few hours reserved for Aaron and I to just be...
together, really hammered at the end of the night. And we would start going through childhood, and we would have a good cry while we were hammered.
And we loved it. It was the only way we could... Talk about it. Yes, get into all the stuff. And so, like, we kind of needed it, and yet we only did it when we were super hammered. But luckily, we were hammered all the time together. So, yeah, we would do it, and then we would wake up and we'd just laugh, like, oh, yeah, we did that again. We...
just started crying together uh wow while we were hammered that's funny i mean it feels like somehow the the subconscious was like you gotta figure out a way to this is your moment together like however it needs to happen you do need to probably have some cries together oh yeah and i've held aaron a lot for sure aaron's very very sensitive Yeah, so wonderfully sensitive. Isn't it funny?
Sensitive is like a pejorative, but it's so... It's not to me.
You're going to be married to someone who's not sensitive?
And guess what? Women are sensitive.
Yeah. Thank God. I know we need it so much.
I really wanted to promote the Martha Stewart documentary. Did you finish it?
Okay. Well, let's talk about, do you want to talk about substance first? I mean, we're here talking about women. I think I want to talk about, I want to talk about Martha Stewart.
I know, but it's two weeks later.
Okay, I'm not gonna prevent you from anything. So Martha Stewart, if I just start with my own, of course I knew who she was all growing up. She's been a very prominent figure in culture forever. I remember when she became a billionaire, that was like very big news.
And then her incarceration, which I thought was insider, not only did I think it was insider trading, I thought that's what she went to prison for. I also thought it was insider trading of her own company. Neither of those things are true, which is fascinating. This is like an Amanda Knox story.
And a Marion Jones story. This is another one. I bet we all remember it differently than what it actually was. But watching this doc, I admire her so much. And she's got some very unattractive sides to her.
And then magically the power comes back on. There is also some room for the chaos, if embraced, to become something unique and interesting.
Which she kind of owns.
Yeah, you got to get deeper into it. It's a phenomenal doc. I really want to interview her, of course. And I think it's great. I recommend it. And I can't wait for you to finish it because then we can talk about like the, you know, pretty insane miscarriage of justice. Mm-hmm. Basically, America was sick of white collar criminals getting away with shit.
It was in the air and there was a lot of bad insider trading.
And no one gave a fuck about the other people. They wanted a sacrificial lamb. They want everyone wanted someone to pay. And then you add in all the resentment people already have that she is a very successful, very rich, very powerful woman. Yeah. And whether anyone's aware of that or not, I don't even, I don't think anyone was like consciously going, yeah, this is the wrong thing to do.
I'm going to do it. I don't think that happened, but I don't think you're aware of how much You're responding to this thing you're threatened by and you don't even know you. Yeah.
It's very similar to the Kardashian hatred. It's quite similar because Martha was presenting the perfect life. She's in pursuit of perfection. And so people are simultaneously very attracted to that because we all like beauty and we like this stuff and it's very aspirational and wish fulfill many. And then you're mad you don't have it and she has it and you're jealous.
Even though in her case, like she was physically doing it all herself. Like she's making floral arrangements and she's making the meals and she's all this stuff. But it's just there's a lot of things that are fun to look at in the doc. How complicated are all of our relationship is with high status people and particularly high status women and people who have what we want is, you know.
Yeah, it's complicated.
Okay, The Substance. Now, my prediction was... I don't know if it was a prediction. I was just like, it's unrelenting and very intense. And I'm just curious how you're going to feel. What do you rate the intensity, the gore?
You've won that checkmate.
An alien would go, wow, that's a really wild film the monkeys made.
Was it pretty packed when you went?
Did anyone walk out? No.
I mean, I don't want to do any spoilers, but I just want to talk about the sewing of the skin.
You were, that wasn't like, oh my fucking God. I mean, I was like. Or fingernail stuff. No, that stuff was, I mean, that stuff is.
I have that with violence in movies, you know, or it starts making me laugh so hard. Some of the violence in Goodfellas, some of the violence in Tarantino movies. It's just. Yeah, I think it is interesting.
There's something there.
Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't know what's comedic and what's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, listen, I just wanted to bring Kristen in because the whole house was a flutter today. Now, Kristen's in. She believes this ruse. Mysteriously, our 11-year-old had an emotional fit this morning that precluded her from going to school on time because she knew somebody was coming to the house at 11. Is she here? No, we had to send her.
She's a knockout. Yeah.
When you were my age. She's the one. Because she was perfectly the right age above me where she was like this incredibly exotic young 20-year-old when I was like 15 or whatever. Yeah.
Oh, wow. And I transcended it.
Do people know that it's worth repeating?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, let's add now, because people for so many years have wanted to know why you guys didn't do a second season. And I think it's important to just say that you realize if you are actually going to find love, this was not the right way. You had to prioritize your real life.
Instead of your real life informing the show, the show is going to start informing your real life. And that's that's a dicey road. Yeah. Yeah.
But he had girlfriends in high school.
Which, by the way, feels very sexy. Just having someone eat my thighs and get close. They were probably like teetering on the verge. It might have been better than actual what high school boys were doing directly.
Oh, great. People are curious about that.
Race to 270. A lot of people have been asking me, like, where's Race to 270?
Armchair Limited. Armchair Umbrella Limited series. Armchair Umbrella Limited series. But I think if you type in Armchair Limited, it'll pop up.
Ah, okay. More of like, what do they call that? Mother letters?
It's asymmetric, for sure.
Yes, yes. All fisheye-y, disgusting. He's always eating shit. Oh, God.
Oh, yeah. What a blast that was.
Decided to go to Culver City last minute?
What on earth was in Culver City?
Richardson or McNary? Okay. Molly Richardson.
Nobody goes to Culver City. I know.
It is very weird. We have, listen, which it's so fine. We have complimentary things about that trigger us into the sim.
So you have coincidences. Okay. Right. That's kind of your, what you don't ever miss. Mine is more what's happening in my lifetime. This feels very suspicious. So my example, my recent Sim moment was talking to my hormone doctor, telling him how, I mean, we're just chatting. It's not like I'm asking him to deal with this. I'm just somehow, we're talking about getting older maybe. And I said-
The thing that's fucking killing me is my eyesight. I find it so frustrating. And I know I'm being a baby, but I cannot stand not being able to fucking read anything that's not 25 feet away from me.
And he said, oh, I just got the bionic lenses put on.
And I go, what? What bionic lenses? And he said, I think Johnson and Johnson makes now an artificial lens that lasts forever. That gives you perfect sight.
And I went. What are the odds I'm going to be, I'm not going to have to deal with fucked up declining vision? That's where we're at. Again, that feels awfully suspicious, Monica. For 300,000 years, humans have had to deal with their eyes going to shit. And I might not have to. Yeah. Come on, man. My final piece of the puzzle where I'll go, OK, it's a sim.
I'm in a sim is if they shut off aging, if they end aging and you don't have to die.
Until the earth blows up in five billion years or sooner.
You could still die by getting, yeah. I think we've really beat out all the things that this would cause. I think you'd get abnormally fearful of accidental death.
You'd walk around with a big bubble wrap all over you.
So that to me, that's more what I'm tracking.
And I've always said this. Mostly people that believe in the sim have an abnormally lucky life. And I own that.
That stuff, I acknowledge that stuff is very simmy. Yeah. But I do think that if you've had, you know, two people knock you up that lied and said they had vasectomies and you're in a trailer on welfare. If you do think it's a sim, I feel so bad for that. Because why would that person deserve that sim? Exactly. Why would they, they plugged into something to have that experience? Yeah.
So I don't think that person would ever think they're in a sim. Cause why would they, who would be in a sim that's fucking insufferable?
Yeah. That's what we hope.
I don't want anyone to suffer. I don't want anyone. Anyone that's in a sim should be having a fucking, but in their sim, they are. This is very confusing. Well, Whatever.
But hun, if Brad Pitt was coming over to clean the pool at 11 a.m. and I mysteriously couldn't make my appointment at 10, you would go immediately. This is horseshit. He just wants to watch Brad Pitt clean our pool.
Bionic eyes. I mean, they just happen.
Boy, did I like her. That self-assuredness is so attractive to me.
Special year, as we know.
Seventh grade for me, birth for you.
I wasn't even here yet. No, you weren't. Still a few years away.
Did you say 72 or 73? Three. Two, yeah, okay.
It's cool, though. I like it. The queen's late. You wait for the queen.
Every day? That's what it says. 100,000 songs are added every day.
I'm not going to tell him. It sounds like a fun thing for him to hold on to. OK, sure.
Oh, sure. Yeah. We play it fast and loose.
Oh, I love brominated vegetable oil. Delicious. No, you don't. I got to move.
Well, what about propofol?
How are you doing on your cookie boy-ness? When's the last time you had a cookie?
I just had an impulse I'm going to share with you. You know how I want to go back in my time machine and woo your grandma so bad?
And I was evil Oz upstairs journaling. Yeah. And I was listening to all the machinations and I was like, this is horse shit, but it's going to work.
I also want to see you as a baby because now when I just asked you about cookies, of course you looked one years old when you started thinking about your cookies. And so I want to go back and see you as a baby eating a cookie.
How hot was your grandma when you were a baby? Could I hit two birds with one stone?
She was. Gorgeous. How old was she when you were eating cookies as a one-year-old?
You didn't know that? I don't know, man. Oh, my God.
Yeah, I think of your, that grandma feels very Indian, and I know that your mom's parents lived in Savannah.
They came from, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know, because your dad, of course, feels so much more like he was an adult when he left India.
So when I see a picture like that, I just I'm in India.
Oh, wow. Okay, I think this is going to work.
He won't know. All right, let me flip it. If you wanted to go back in time and give Papa Bob some ass, I love my grandma Yola's to death.
Smartest person I ever knew. Because this is a one-off time capsule for him. This is like, he doesn't even know if it was a dream the next day because you came into town and you were nowhere to be found because you went back to the future.
Listen, some people will be disappointed, but that's something to be quite proud of. Well done.
I would want that for him. I would want it for him. And my grandma didn't need to know. And I would want Brad Pitt to go back and give Euless the right of her life.
I don't know what to say. We don't have a word for misogynist for men. What is it? We need that word.
There's no such thing.
There's no such thing.
It feels very mean to men. It feels mean to men. And she gets Brad Pitt, but Papa Bob can't have some.
Isn't tush the grossest thing to say? Yeah, I hate it.
There's a 70s rock song. He's like, I'm just looking for some tush. And Erin and I sing. It is so grody. Okay.
Caveat, caveat, caveat, asterisk.
That's like the that's the sex fuel. Any anyone will tell you that.
Please enjoy Cynthia Erivo.
And I'm like, sure, I guess. I think that's the predominant pattern.
Not always. But I do want to add, and this I think comes from, there's a ton of great work on this from social scientists, like Ira's mom who studied infidelity. Women cheat the same amount, but they are driven by novelty. This is like agreed upon. Women are driven by novelty and men are driven by sprain, unfortunately. So, you know, put that in your argument. This is kind of known.
Okay. But like 51 to 49?
Okay, yeah. And then I'm just gotta, you know, I gotta do my thing, which is like admitting. Culturally... It's so much worse for a woman to admit it. It's so expected of men. Even more.
And you're bringing something for everybody because then you showed up in this outfit and now Monica's all on the ropes. She's fucked up.
You feel like it's right. Writing the scale. Yes. I got you. Yes. Okay. So I imagine that this is don't hate me. Okay. If it's admitted 20% and 13%, I think the real numbers are probably like 35% for men and probably like 29% for women. That's just what I think.
From the amount of adults I've known that have been married and the amount of affairs I know about and who they were with, that to me feels way more likely.
None of your girlfriends cheated on their boyfriends. Most of the girls I know cheated on their boyfriends.
I bet it's gone up to since women joined the workforce because forever they were at home and they would interact with other women. Who the hell are they even going to meet? Whereas like men were meeting women out in their workplace all the time.
You got us all fucked up. This place is a titter. I think we should call it. That was a great episode. We can go only down from here. So what do you think about this really bad sample set I have? But 30 year old London. What do we share? Endlessly interested in whatever weird cultural differences we have because it's misleadingly similar.
Sure, they had secretaries and all these roles that were conventionally, you know, females.
You know, like my Papa Bob worked at the Wonderbed Bakery. Sure, everyone in the bakery was men carrying bags of flour, but then up front there was all these women doing all kinds of stuff.
Yeah. Anywho, okay, so.
Oh, wow. So I accept your full logic. Then why doesn't that apply to your sweet grandma? Why isn't she like my grandma, Yolis?
If you okay, Brad Pitt, having a night with Ulyss, Useless Eggshells, named after Ulysses S. Grant, why wouldn't your grandma be entitled to a night with me?
Oh, right. But it's okay for my grandfather, which would make sense.
All right. I'm moving on.
All done. Final note, not a spoiler. Loved Wicked.
You got to go see Wicked.
Popular. All right. I love you.
Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Yeah, yeah. Right. You're like, oh, yeah, English shows, blah, blah, blah. But then there's really interesting differences.
London and New York have more in common than London and Essex. Correct. Than New York and Georgia. Yes. I get that. The foods are different. We just have different foods.
Yeah, but look how big and strong we are. Look at the UFC. Yeah.
I'm scared of him. I'm scared of him a little bit. But I do think like he wants you to be scared of them.
Well, this might interest you. We interviewed him last year. And my main curiosity was like, what event happens before you dedicate your life to martial arts? And so I had asked him and he said, no, I walked into this gym at 12 years old. I'm like, yeah, but why do you walk into a boxing gym? What happened immediately before? And he's like, OK, well, actually, I like this girl.
She's older than me. She liked me. I was walking on the street with her. Then the older boys, one of whom was her boyfriend, pulled up in a car. Three older guys got out and beat the shit out of him. Then he goes, I didn't really fight back. And I'm like, now that makes sense.
When you're trying to heal that embarrassment in front of a girl you like where you didn't defend yourself, that's a motivation that can send you on a life trajectory. And so, yeah, I think that little boy is underneath all of that. Still trying to defend himself. It's really gone off the rails a little bit.
Yeah. He has little kids. I think that can be a route into it.
Well, I say this all the time. I'm glad we have girls and not boys because, yeah, I think the impulse when that was your life is to go like, well, if I don't pass this on to him, he'll suffer the way I did. And you're just starting it all up again because you don't have any faith in the future. I get it.
You guys are the exact same age. 37. And you and I are only six days apart in January. No way. Do you believe in all the astrology stuff or no?
Am I in charge all the time?
Am I insufferable? You bet your ass I am.
Okay, great. I love you. Thanks for stopping by.
She has a whole schedule.
Did you get on with Michaela?
I love her so much. I read her book.
Well, for people that don't know Michaela, what was her incredible show? That was the best show of the year on HBO.
I May Destroy You. If you've not seen I May Destroy You.
You need it for diversity. Yeah, we got some DEIs.
I hear you. Look, I find this all extremely complicated because I- Don't go anywhere.
It's our second couch, too. We can't not get it right.
Okay, so I did grow up in suburban America, Duluth, Georgia, Southern. And look, there's no Indian jokes in that show.
But I'm watching it like... You watch the Golden Globes and you know Nikki Glaser is going to do a joke about you and you're watching it like, when's it going to hit? When's it going to hit? And you know, it doesn't come, but I do feel a lot of empathy. Okay, let's take it out of race. But the end of your special, which by the way, I thought your special was hilarious. I cried. Oh, thank you.
And I also have frozen my eggs. Oh, wow. It was beautifully done.
And then at the end, I was like, why? There's an entire piece at the very end about special needs. And your fans will probably be mad that I even said special needs. And I'm not going to say.
But you don't have a kid that is special needs.
So my point is, if you're taking your daughter to school, which you will, and it'll be beautiful and wonderful. They're going to be kids there that have special needs and their parents are going to be there. And they will probably have seen it because I'm sure it's going to do amazingly well.
And I just wonder, will you care? Yeah. Will it bother you?
Right. But you won't be like, oh, fuck, maybe I shouldn't do that.
When I'm watching that and everyone's laughing, it is so clear. Yes, people want to be able to laugh at things that are funny. They do not like being told they can't laugh at it or that it's not funny when they're That's their instinct.
And I get it. And that's why we're here. And that's why we have Trump. And I get it.
Yes, of course. Did he warn you about my wrath?
What did he do? I don't even know.
You just can't do that. Well, yeah. I mean, I think at this point they're all.
It was. But everyone else is lying too.
You're saying that on behalf of Republicans, but the Republicans I know, which are many from home, they are defending everything Trump does, which is insanity.
But you're saying the Dems, and I'm just saying in general, I think the Republicans.
if Democrats said eggs are gonna be free and blueberries are gonna be free, the Republicans aren't still going to push the identity politics side. I mean, it's still gonna be there. The Democratic Party is not gonna say, we actively don't care.
But they were 100 percent.
How, I'm really asking, what is a good way to send that message?
It kind of is. No, this is where I have to push back. I actually don't think it is, but I think that is what gets brought up all the time when there is debate.
I know, which I think is so interesting because the person running was the most extreme version of the Republican Party. Trump is. And Biden, they're not extremely far left.
That's the problem is I think the Republicans have used that as a Trojan horse.
,,,,,,,. P P P P P P 19 PD.G.G.G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G,G, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . a gera to in in in in in in in in in in in in in and. G. G. G. G. G. G.G P.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.P.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. g. ch en in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in e and
Especially if you've been on the opposite end of any of these jokes ever. You can tell the difference between when there's hatred underneath it. And when there's not, when I watched, I was texting my friend about this and I was like, there's no hatred there. I can really, really feel that. There are other really popular standups that people love that I'm like, uh, uh.
It's like a Drake-Kendrick thing, which we also use.
You mean in personal relationships?
Well, people are going to look for it anyway.
Comedy is math and it's just figuring out the equation. But it's funny because you're like, you can't offend Kristen. That's the one thing. I mean, everyone has that. Everyone has their one thing that's like, well, now you lost me.
She's my favorite person on earth, but I have to say it. She's the most beautiful, white, privileged person. She's all those things, too. So she has the luxury to be able to laugh at fucking anything without being like, oh, yeah, I remember when that was me.
She doesn't like it when she personally gets burned. And that's the difference. And it's fair. No one likes getting personally burned. But when you are in a group that's small, they feel more personal than the overall. I just got to say it.
I would love to hear your theory.
The first time I heard of you, Dax sent me a thing and I was like, oh my God, this is so great. And then I was like, oh, I'm going to keep looking. And you were like, well, be careful what you do. Be careful. I might need to curate. I might need to curate for you.
So I did that this morning.
Oh, it was so funny. And we were dying laughing at that.
I think hearing about you and your background and your life is important. Sure.
Were you guys at Sunset Tower?
I wasn't, but one of my best friends was and she was like, I think I saw him there last night.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
So you did an amazing promo with my boyfriend, the love of my life.
I mean, I did think, I was like, Matt likes Andrew. I'm qualified. I guess. Anyway, you did lean in for that promo and I was like, oh, wow, this is really great. And I do think a lot of people who might not follow you or know your stuff or think something about you will be drawn to it because of that.
But then I was like, man, I wish you would do more of that because I think his audience is limitless.
But we do think of you in a very certain package.
Evolutionary biologist.
Yeah, it's a good one.
Is it on the new out? Is it recently?
Let's hear it. I don't know this one. I don't think.
So we're really like, OK, it's very fun. You know, she gets sexy, Sabrina. Oh, she is some real sexual stuff.
Oh, she thought it was romantic.
Yes. So I had another ear situation. An ear infection? Yes. Not a full infection.
I wish. No, so I have three holes. Okay. And I don't really use the top one very much at all, but I found these earrings and it didn't look right in the second hole. So I moved them up to the third hole and I had to like really like- Work it in there. Shove it in.
Yeah, but I cleaned it. I did my best. And then it did start hurting pretty quickly, but I left it because it looked so cute.
It's a very similar story to last time.
Yes. And I left it and I left it. And then that night I took it out and it was like really hard to get out. Like I think it had swollen sort of around it. So I yanked it out and then I cleaned it all up.
And then I cleaned it up. but it was really painful and I couldn't like lay on, I couldn't lay, I had to back sleep.
They're sensitive. Yeah, the higher you get on my ear, I think they just can't handle it.
Don't say it with such a gross face.
I prefer to call it sensitive.
And yeah. And it had like a big like you could feel the big like node in there. Big lump of infection. Don't make that face. Anyway, it's feeling a little bit back to normal.
The big question is, am I allowed to do it again?
Or it's like maybe it just needs a couple times before it can acclimate.
I know. He's going to adopt the gardener so that he can pass it on.
Yeah, I think it's also a strategic move, but an extremely generous strategic move.
I mean, of course, like a pessimistic version of this is that they were in love. I mean, that's a weird thing to say. It's like cynical. I guess it's like they're in love. So, so that's why this is happening. But, but like the better story.
Maybe. Ooh, God. Okay. If someone was in love with me and I wasn't in love with them and I made that clear, but they could not stop. Right. Pursuing. Yeah. And then they died. And left you $11 billion. And left me $11 billion. Would I...
No. Would I feel like I can't accept this?
Okay. Okay. But also... Thank you.
Yeah, it was. It was really engaging. He was great. And yeah, it was.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,. P P P P P P G實... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ... a Laboratory a. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. P. A. A. A. a la.
Well, somebody else would be cleaning it. So you'd like, you're the one that wanted to wear diapers and pee in the bed. Yeah. Yeah.
See? It's not going to slow you down. I don't know. I guess it's just, we won't know until we try it. Yeah. But my gut is I will, I will be ready to be done. By then. I really do.
Ironically, I'm not scared of dying. Me neither. I mean, I'm scared of everyone else dying. And that's part of it. If you live 250 years, the amount of loss you are going to have accumulated is a lot.
Well, I don't have a problem with you saying white people are. Not an ethnicity.
It will be not what you remember.
Yeah. I don't know, though. It's like, are we just... I think our lives are supposed to have an end. I don't know.
Yeah. And so I think if we monkey around with that.
I don't think that because I don't believe that. Like, but I...
I think there's something very poetic about a life.
But I don't know. I think wisdom is real. And I think wisdom obviously comes with experience, but it also comes with knowing that the end is coming closer. So I don't know if we are living forever, if anyone really ends up acquiring wisdom. Like the feeling that you talk about when you talk about like your kids, that's a feeling that I think a lot of older people feel about life in general.
They just see the preciousness of the whole picture and humanity and people. And I think that's a really beautiful thing. And I think you earn that by getting towards the end. I really do.
I don't think you would.
I think Africa really started it all.
Yeah. My friend Sally, she has this guy in her building. He's older. I think maybe like 90. Like during the election time, he was like, it's four years.
In our current thing. You're only 40. I don't think you get to say that. I haven't earned that right. In the way that the 90 year old gets to.
Asia's involved big time.
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.
All right. Well, this is for Andrew. Andrew Schultz.
It's on 1J plus already.
That's great. Yeah. It was, it was good to have him and. Talk some stuff out. Okay. Russia, McDonald's.
Yeah. They did sell it to a local buyer, McDonald's, during the war.
Well, they left Russia.
Right, but still in the food industry. Still a McDonald's. Yeah.
It's called... Vladimir Putin's Hamburger House. Exactly.
Putin's Patties. Putin's Patties. I'd go. Vkusno Tachka. It translates to Tasty and That's It. Tasty and That's It is the title.
Okay, so tasty and that's it.
Yep. Okay. Now, is Fanta Nazi Coke? Fanta, owned by Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola. Company Fanta was introduced in 1940 and is the second oldest brand owned by Coca-Cola.
Oh, yeah, it's a big one.
Correct. During World War II due to ingredient shortages.
In World War II. Okay. So. So. Ellipses. We'll leave it at that.
So Puma is the non-Nazi one?
Well, yeah, we already know about Adidas and their.
Yeah, that is, that was his name, right?
Oh, the Nazi got the last name. Then the other one had to go with Puma.
I mean, everyone likes Pumas, but like, you get to, when it's your last name, it's a blank slate. And you get to like really make that a brand. When it's Puma, you already have an idea of what a Puma is. The logo has to be a Puma.
Okay. Donnie Burns is the Scottish ballroom dancer who has won many titles and holds a Guinness World Record. I was looking up most winningest ballroom dancer.
Well, he's won 14-time world professional Latin champion, 11-time international Latin American dance champion.
That is probably what he would say.
Yeah. I guess that is unfair. Yeah. Okay. Andrew said that Tim Waltz said he was at the Battle of Gettysburg in the Civil War. That was obviously a joke.
That was hyperbole. And it was a joke. It was.
Correct. That he said he was there or a part of. And he was not. Okay. So that was bad. OK, bipolar, you said 10 times the rate in Japan. I mean, I'm sorry, we have 10 times the rate over Japan. The United States has the highest lifetime rate of bipolar disorder at four point four percent. India, the lowest with point one percent and Japan point seven percent.
Is Jack Schlossberg JFK's grandson? Yes, he is.
Oh, okay. I thought he looked like Ben Schwartz.
I didn't. I didn't. He doesn't look like Ben Schwartz, but they have similar mannerisms. And then this also, I just started watching The Pit.
Which is on Max. It's a medical drama.
And it's fun. I really just like medical drama.
That's the one I didn't do.
Yeah, he is such a good actor.
So you never watched ER?
Really? No. Well, I just finished The Pit and I'm going to restart ER.
I mean, that is something I have done, but no, I'm going to restart ER. I'm excited about that.
Yeah, you were probably ninth. Yeah, because I have very vivid memories of watching it with my mom in bed. Fun.
And in our house in Tennessee. So I would have been seven.
We would watch ER. So seven. So yeah, you were 19.
That was nostalgic watching The Pit. But there's an actor on there that is so Ashton-y.
And there's an actress that is very Christina Ricci.
So there's a lot of doppelgangers on that show, which is interesting. And then I was reminded that there are some there's like some people that are cutouts in the sim. There's like they're a cookie cutter that gets stamped and then they just like change some things.
Yeah. So they just take like they like make the ear a little bigger and like flatten the nose a little bit. They're like, that one's good.
OK, I didn't know what buck breaking was.
Right. Correct. The history of sexual exploitation of black people by the dominant society, particularly the sexual exploitation of black men.
No, no, no, no. AOC's district district. Voted for Kamala.
So some people moved over is the thing, but not the majority. Gotcha. Okay. That's it.
That was, um, I was glad we had him on.
Yes, I agree. So there's going to just be some people, if we choose to have them, which I think we should, I think we should have everyone on, that if you ignore that piece, I think that's problematic.
Like, I think we have to...
The likable thing and how you got a lot of it and you were like you knew how to do it. It almost seems like that was so easy that now you want to be liked despite you want to be so unlikable, but people still like you. And that's the real proof of likability. And by the way, I think you've done that.
I know that might sound insulting, but you are extremely likable and so funny. But I'm like, what is going on that we are going this far? And I do wonder if that's a piece of it. Are you still going to like me even if I say this, this, and this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess the provocative nature you're saying.
He loves to defend. This is good.
This is a good action.
At first, I thought it was so good that at first I was like, he still doesn't get it. But he really got it. He got it.
And so she was working at the same time you were before.
I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.
We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.
Speaking of when you just said it's the only time you feel like a movie star, do you like feeling like a movie star?
You don't like attention would be my guess also.
So that everyone could get their Tootsie?
Okay, that's probably why you didn't have to go there.
I'm just Team Motrin. Stop trying to make me who I'm not.
Oh, they did this for us to save our relationship.
I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.
We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.
I'm sure some days you have to think it.
Well, you've been validated there too.
Work can be validated externally, but you cannot be validated externally.
You as a person, your character, that's got to come from you. So it doesn't matter what your wife says. That's the juxtaposition.
Did you already comment on that? I did not.
We shook hands. You shook hands. I'm wearing perfume.
Yeah, I think it's her.
Only if it's allowed.
Yeah, you do smell nice.
Well, that person smells great.
Oh, really? Oh, she was on it as well.
She could be. She's so pretty.
And she was like, yes, I will go out with you.
Yeah. A lot of compassion.
You have the opposite. You've been working for so long and you're on Broadway. You're like, I've really done it.
They maybe thought that it was going to be such an enormous hit that it would be at the Smithsonian and then it would end up being worth millions and millions.
But that's the part that you don't think in the moment that it's happening to him. Everyone thinks I'm Michael Cera and everyone thinks he's Jesse Eisenberg. Exactly. You forget that piece.
I enjoyed him so much.
I think it's eBay. Yeah, I think it's eBay time.
I love that movie. I rewatched it recently. It's still so great. You did just rewatch it. I did. Yeah. I was obsessed with it. I would just watch it over and over again for a while.
I have a handful of movies that I end up just watching every night. Contagion. During the pandemic. Contagion.
Devil Wears Prada, Social Network.
That's interesting. Yeah. Good Will Hunting is my number one. That was the original.
I wouldn't want to be put to the test right now because it's been a minute, but at one point I could recite the whole movie.
In my head, I would watch it and then rewind it and watch it again.
I wish. No, because I was too busy watching movies in my head. But Social Network is so good. You're so good in it. Everyone's so good in it.
And when I was listening back, I was like, holy, this guy is great.
Yes. Okay. They also have, they're called Ultra Stretch Point, P-O-N-T-E, straight leg pants. And they are really, really great. They're great for travel. They're very cozy.
Therapy is essential to me during the holidays especially because I generally am going home.
And I need sort of some stability from my therapy and guidance to stay nice.
Ooh la la. You know, the Nest Candles were on my gift guide. Oh, they were? Yes. Well, go to Macy's. Go to Macy's and grab one.
He is. And he's very quick. He's very funny. He was a joy.
Maybe the character smoked and you were holding it. Yeah, I was holding it for him.
But I don't even know what you're talking about. And that's another fallacy. Another reality. This is another thing that we think.
Yeah, we think everybody knows. I'm sure you think we know what you're talking about the movie. And then you were poorly. Like, I didn't know that until you just said it.
Yeah, it must require so much if there's all this crap around and all these people around me.
I don't think you need to pick it back up or anything. Yeah.
I say this a lot about our current hatred of billionaires. I don't have that hatred. I'm like, poor people don't hate billionaires. It's a certain class of people that is actually pretty privileged that has the luxury of saying that's bad and capitalism is bad and X, Y, Z is bad. It's like if you're actually disenfranchised, you don't think that.
It's a weird cycle that happens with privilege where you start picking apart the way to get.
Yeah, but it's a similar thing. It's like the cultural. If your parents left a country to come here so that you could have the opportunity to make a ton of money, you're not going to be like, I think money is bad. You're like, that's literally the whole purpose of the life raft. Yeah, exactly.
pretty cool, but he wants me to go extreme. He wants me to shave my hair.
Also the wrong use of your life.
Well, you want to watch it and be like, holy shit, this movie's incredible.
It's a huge, big movie.
I like it too. On others, it's not that I don't think I'm cool enough for that. It's just not me.
Or you want to feel like shit, Bambi. Yeah, exactly.
It makes sense. So it's the only way to get kids to care immediately. That's the only thing they know and could understand as painful.
Just a few years later, it's Texas Chainsaw.
Well, that's true because speaking of cigarettes for Halloween, I was Mary-Kate and Ashley, one of them, current era. And so I was holding a cigarette the whole time. I've never smoked in my life. And so I wasn't smoking, but I was holding it. And I was like, it is cool.
I could see that. Yeah. You have little brother energy.
I got big brother energy.
Oh, cool. He's doing a lot of docs.
I think he did the McMahon one.
Yeah, I see. That's a nice socks.
Do you talk to Best Boy Jimmy Kimmel about it?
Since he loves Yacht Rock as well.
That's so cute he made you a playlist.
Carly Simon, Steely Dan, James Taylor. Yeah.
Yeah. Who gets to decide?
Yeah. Yeah. It's true. You don't want it to be true, but it is.
I wonder what Simmons is going to do next because he's on a roll.
That would be fantastic. Speaking of, I got a lot of really sweet reach outs from people in my life, like old people in my life when I was in middle school and high school. And they were so happy for me that we got to have Lisa on.
Well, that's very sweet.
It was like people who I don't talk to really, but were there for when it was really.
Yes. And so they were all very, it was very heartwarming and sweet that they were like, oh my gosh. That is nice. Yeah. And then Anthony, who also was there, he texted me.
Well, not a blast from the past, but a longstanding friendship. Yeah, he was in the past and he was a part of it. And he's also a huge Friends fan. And he said, I almost commented, Lisa Kudrow, this is how I find out. I have forgotten to tell him.
Yeah, I'd forgotten. And then I said, oh, some people reached out, which was really sweet. And he said, yeah, you really created strong brand awareness even back in the day.
I told people Toto. Come on.
Yeah. I told people about Lisa Kudrow. I guess I just forgot to tell the most important person.
So sorry, Anthony. This is a public apology.
I did notice you were wearing a lot of hats.
Well, did you put the stuff on it?
Well, you just told me you decided you might not do that.
Right. So I was going to wear a hat today. Okay.
Okay, got it. You see the confusion. It looks fine.
What do you, what means what's insane to you?
Oh no. Okay. But I have an idea.
Um, you know, those scalp things, they're like,
Yeah, they have little like sticks on them. You could do the thing and then use the scalp thing to get it all over. And then you wouldn't be using your hands to get it all over.
Because you definitely want to get you like you have to put it up here.
Oh, two full eyedroppers?
Just keep wearing a hat.
All right. Well, it's almost Christmas time. Are there any Christmas updates? I got a new table scape. So that was exciting.
New tablecloth. This is from Heather Taylor Home. Gorgeous.
My tree is 35, but she's still my baby, just like Harley is always your little girl. Her skirt is pink and green.
So now I'm deciding to do pink and green.
Nothing against wicked, but that wasn't.
I just wanted to match the beautiful skirt. The skirt's so cute. It doesn't look wicked-y. Okay. I don't think people would think it. I'll ask. I'll ask everyone.
I guess because, yeah, I think she wears pink stuff. Popular?
Yeah, Glenda, Glenda. She wears pink. I forgot that. I only think green when I think Wicked, but you're right. Pink is a color.
Yeah, you told me he's so cute.
I know. Now we have to.
You have two big gets, Taylor and Aria.
You told me this a little bit ago. And so then some videos have been popping up about her. I mean, I get so many wicked videos, which is kind of weird.
Maybe they know about my tree and they're confused. Look, I loved the movie. I love the movie. But I'm not... Like some people are... die hard wicked and they've seen it multiple times and they their sing-alongs exactly it's a whole it's like a whole thing it's so fun that's not really me so i guess i'm i'm interested it's interesting that i'm being targeted in that way
That's cool. Yeah. I like that.
They tested that. They beta tested that.
Yeah, they have, I think they have whole divisions at Meta that are fully ethics based. Right, right, right, right. And so a lot of the things have to run through that.
I got an Anytime Fitness membership for my brother one year for Christmas. Oh, you did? I did. Oh, that's a great gift. It was a very big hit.
I've also gotten a lot of videos about her.
And I sometimes think to send them to you to show Delta, would you do that? Or are you like- Probably not. Probably not videos. Yeah.
Right. Yeah. I get that. But how's she learning about like her vocal range and stuff?
Can you see if she owns a dog, Rob?
Myron. All right. Do you have any, have you watched any more Christmas movies?
Yeah, I watched The Holiday. I mainly just have it on in the background. The Holiday, Home Alone, Love Actually.
It's a blessing. It's almost like. what we do sort of like how podcasts are so intimate they they become part of the your fabric like your daily fabric Christmas movies have that they become part of your traditions they're good triggers yeah and like when we had Jude Law on and we talked a little bit about the holiday it it Yeah. He's like part of my year.
Always. And Jack Black, too. I forgot that he was also in my role in his role.
Well, you're really lucky if you're like die. I haven't seen it, but die hard, which is like, Christmas movie, but it's not right.
That would have been cool.
Yeah, that's right. I think we think it because guns.
But I guess my point is, I think that originated just even that colloquial term originated from a gun trigger. yeah or a crossbow probably okay um rob um is the home alone house in chicago like immortalized at christmas yeah i used to work not far from it and i'd sometimes just drive over there and eat lunch on the street oh my god just like outside in my car Do people and like.
Oh, because someone lives there.
I mean, whoever Columbia should have bought it.
I think. And they made it a museum.
Yeah. Well, that's also funny because all time, the restaurant I love, you love, we all love. They just opened a new restaurant in Altadena.
And I went the day before we shot the commercial. And it was so weird because I never go to Altadena.
Exactly. How do you prevent the mice?
People like come out and walk around. Oh, there's.
That sounds really lovely.
How are they doing this? It's there's always I've never been in my entire life. And there's not been a line at random times. It's pretty cool.
And they don't market like I've never seen a commercial for In-N-Out.
Oh, I thought I like that because I thought you were going to make it gross. Dirty.
It was a fantasy that I wanted to go live there.
I was infected with the fantasy of Hollywood. And I knew that was there. We went on a family vacation when I was 11.
Yeah, we did the tour.
Definitely. Yeah. We did that too. Went to Chinatown. And we went to San Diego. Went to the zoo.
Yeah. Bit them in the butt.
No. Um, we sit right by the airport and you could hear the, the planes, the whole thing.
Um, anyway. Okay. So this, so Jesse, ding, ding, ding. He lives in Hollywood. Actually doesn't. I think he lives in New York. Damn it.
Yeah. I feel bad because when you talked about Jesse's sister, I was like, I was, it was new information and I reacted as such. And then like four seconds later, I was like, oh, I did know that.
But I forgot. And when you said it, it sounded new. Yeah. And then I felt fraudulent.
Let's bring up a picture of her on the TV.
I think it might be Ireland. There she is. Look how cute she is.
And you know what else?
She looks like him. Yeah. Like they definitely have a family resemblance.
Oh, my God. I wonder if he thinks she's so cute. He didn't say so in the interview.
Well, you think your sister's so cute.
You talk about it all the time.
But if your sister is known as being like the cutest girl in America. I wonder if I would hate it. Yeah, exactly.
Even if it was your little sister?
I love her dimples. Dimples are a thing. If and when science is good enough, which it will be, I'm going to pick dimples for my kid.
Well, that's, they're crazy.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Right. But what happened to your freckles? I don't see any.
Maybe with age, also freckles dissipate on the face. I would say the sun exposure, but that also seems counterintuitive because sun also brings out freckles. Yes, it does. A lot of people in the summer, their freckles come out.
Yeah. Freckles are so cute.
Freckles are so cute.
Oh, yeah. So I'm going to pick dimples. Okay. For my kid.
Can you imagine? She's going to be so cute.
Dimples. It is. Yeah, yeah. Do you think if I go to my face guy, if I tell him I want dimples, he could do it?
Because they just... carve out.
Actually, that's what I said. I said carve something out.
Jesse Eisenberg's mouse ridden.
I'm going to come back in the new year.
You're going to get multiple dimples. Some went wrong, so I did another one.
When I design my kid, she's going to have one on each side. Okay. I guess I have to figure out exactly where. And then she's going to have curly hair. Okay. I don't think I have to design. I think she's going to have naturally curly hair like me. Well, I guess depends on who her dad is.
Okay. But naturally curly hair.
But remember I saw that mixed girl at Mixed Late Woman. Yeah.
Yeah. She was so pretty. Yeah.
Oh, curly. Okay. I like that.
I've never seen one. Yeah. Well, that's natural. People dye their hair. Right, right.
That's a recessive gene that I don't think has made its way to dominance. All right. Anyway, Jesse. Next fact. Jesse has sort of red hair.
Crickets. Okay. What is going on? What is going on in LA with crickets? Because this happened when I was recording something else in a different location and we had to stop.
I didn't hear it because it was a big enough. It was a sweet enough moment that I think you're in it. But I mean, this is like not good for sound.
Yeah. I read you can do peppermint tea.
They don't like peppermint tea.
And some other aromatherapies.
Okay. Speaking of, do mice, another unwanted pest.
Unless you're talking about me. Yeah. Love eating plastic.
Yeah, they eat plastic. They do.
And they chew right through it to keep their incisors from growing too long.
Yeah. Well, he loves plastic. Okay. So eBay's a thorough astronaut costume. Not there anymore.
People snatched them up.
Right. You can buy spacesuits, though, on there.
If you want. There are thousands of dollars.
Nostalgia. Yeah. All right. Was Squid and the Whale Noah Baumbach's first movie? No, it was called Kicking and Screaming in 1995. That was his first movie.
It's different. Yeah, okay. Yeah, this is about four young men who graduate from college and refuse to move on with their lives. Okay, when we cease to understand the world, Arthur, is he French? He's from 10 different countries. He was born in the Netherlands. He spent his childhood in Buenos Aires and Lima, and then he moved to Santiago at the age of 14.
A lot of countries. And if you type in, is Benjamin Labatou French? It says no. Oh. No, he is Chilean, not French.
Yeah. It says nationality. He is a Chilean author, birthplace, childhood. It doesn't say. It doesn't say like his dad is from. It doesn't say that.
Yeah. Well, my Ariana Grande is Friends, I guess. Like that, I sat that pure time.
I know, except I didn't really.
No, I did. I did. But I was not like I liked friends or nothing. I wasn't owning it in the way that.
Yeah, definitely. I was more into yacht rock.
I was actually because my dad would play music in his car. Soft rock.
The soft rock station is the yacht rock station.
All right. Yeah. Okay. That's fine. Okay. Well, I think I said this already, but I am planning on reading this book over the Christmas break. Oh, good. Yes. I'm excited to read it.
And I'll read The Maniac. And I'm going to read three more books.
All right. All right. Happy holidays.
Are you confident driving even though you've never had a car until a couple of years ago?
Because I'm pretty tame as well.
Let's talk it out over drinks.
Blimpies is the- Oh my God, my mom was obsessed with Blimpies.
But I'm from Georgia. That's why- Duluth.
The original content house.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
They just didn't renew your deal.
I don't know what a content house is.
I was like, there's no way Dax knows what a content house is.
Just can't be externally motivated.
No, that's your fault for not being able to sit through her crying.
Yeah. It's not for him.
So you were playing a game.
She didn't like that.
It's a fine line to walk.
Okay, so you still feel like, oh man, or you feel like I had my time?
I'm going to find the person that this is.
I didn't want to be reminded of her. Yes. And you keep talking about it.
That's a nice gesture.
It's a good one. Oh, my God. It's very refreshing.
Oh, the pandemic, we drank so much rosé.
That's how bad we needed it. We sent an alcoholic to go pick up our wine.
I don't know if I like Campari. I'm going to have to try it.
I'm going to Sunset Tower tonight, and so maybe I... Oh, yeah.
I guess the four of us could be on a text.
But I am going to have a martini tonight. So I am telling you now that is what I'm going to be doing.
But I'm going to do it. But okay, I'm telling you your drink and you should invite your wife in to do this. You should make this for both of you.
Okay, cool. Great. A bee's knees.
Do you know what it is?
He is an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's got to let him have the facts.
He really is. He was also he was crowned that early on. Yeah.
So did I. I loved it. I loved anything that was like inside, inside information into the lives of celebrities. So wild.
That's true. I wasn't thinking like that back then.
So I was just a little girl.
It was all about like... Okay, you don't even know me.
I used to booty bump. You don't even... Not at eight. Okay, I think I was older than that. Let's see when Cribs came out.
Uh-oh, that's not a good Google because you know what it says.
Mariah Carey also had one.
Yeah, there was. I remember a bath.
OK, yeah. Premiered in 2000. So I was 12. 12. But you were a lot older.
It is so crazy how age starts to mean nothing. But when you're young, this is just real proof.
No, no. That like these when people are like, oh, it's not that big of a deal. It's like the 16 year old is what it is. Like when I think about being the age I was watching Cribs and then being 24. Yeah. Wildly different.
Okay, I need to see. I don't remember.
Oh, my God. They did Beyonce?
I saw that one. Yeah.
And Wilmer Valderrama.
So I don't have that.
Not of cribs, but I do. I mean.
The advanced version is architectural digest home tours, which I love.
Something's going on.
Have you ever had a smell in your nose?
Sometimes when you just get a smell in your nose, you can't get it out. Sure. I don't smell it on me.
But I'm scared. I'm really panicked.
OK, they did 19 seasons of Cribs.
But they're probably three a year. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, exactly. You would have been perfect for them. But you didn't have like a bath. You don't have things.
You would show your cars, I guess, your motorcycles.
And the posters of yourself.
Well, they were in the house, remember?
Well, is that even... Which are cool. Can I see one? What do you mean stills?
And so I had a lot of... I don't know if that's that bad, actually. Yeah.
Post, I thought it was like- There was posters everywhere? Posters. Is that it?
Look at you. You look so little. You look just like Lincoln. It's crazy.
No, you just, I mean, I noticed this when we watched, when we did- Without a paddle. Without a paddle. You just look so different.
Like your face has changed.
Like, obviously everyone gets older, but your face is different, I think.
No, I don't think it's bad at all. Okay. Yeah, you're right. That kind of looks like me, right? You look more like you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You just look, yeah.
This looks Parenthood.
Can you, Rob, pull up when in Rome? Oh, I look terrible. That's the closest to your current body though.
Yeah. Look at, I look like I'm on Ozempic. Yeah. Wow, you do look really thick.
I want to see a front face.
Yeah, and also go to YouTube to watch us.
Wait, you have to now.
I was an underwear model. You were playing an underwear model. Yep.
Of course. You were like, this is perfect.
And then what happened?
That is a horrible thing you did on accident. On accident. I know. This will happen.
No, I know. It's because you aren't.
And I think you've gotten much more censored.
So back then, of course, this is the douchiest watch. Fuck me. I'm puking.
Right. I just think, don't you think you've tamed instead of gone the other way over time?
Anyone who's been in your life for a long, way before me says that.
You were sweet, but I don't think, do you think you were like, I'm really, you just weren't walking through life feeling like I might hurt someone's feelings?
Did you say I'm sorry in the moment? Oh yeah. You did? Yes, yes. Oh, that probably made it worse.
Actually, I don't even know if this is the right one because it actually is. It's pretty cool.
Because I think they'll choose to believe the nice thing because it hurts to believe the bad thing.
Callie had a RAV4. We used to cruise around in it.
You either had a RAV4 or a CR-V.
This is worse than the watch.
Yeah. No, I don't. But that picture is meant to look. It was a very visual episode. Yeah, I know. Okay. The RAV4, I have so many great memories of Callie's RAV4.
Do you feel bad enough to like get them a new car?
Oh, well, if it's bothering you.
Yeah. That's how I feel about that girl.
With the mole. It's the worst story. It's the worst thing I've ever done.
Yeah, Delta. The rainbow run. Delta had a rainbow run at her school.
If she painted that, that's really impressive.
They basically run in a circle for 10 minutes each class.
I know you, you like ran out there to high five him. Like you wanted his approval.
I saw, but I thought you were doing it to some random person.
This is always your problem.
Which in this case was pretty quickly.
He's giving you a truck?
Do you think Delta promised him that?
This is such a common thing, I think, for parents.
Yes. They decide early they want their kid to marry this kid.
Do you want to hear just the best story ever?
So Elizabeth and Andy went to elementary school together. They did? They went to elementary school. Andy was Elizabeth's first crush. Oh. She loved Andy, but Andy was like a punk. He was like a little punk kid. Okay, he's too cool. And he was into prints and like snowboarding. And she thought that was really cool and different. Yeah. Yeah.
And then they, you know, Andy moved a couple of years later.
It also feels scary at the Sphere. You don't need anything, the Sphere is that good.
Yeah. Yeah. And she didn't see him for, you know, 20 years or something. And she ran into him on the street in New York.
Well, they never even kindled, but she was like.
Isn't that such a good story?
That is not the same. That'd be like if Andy was mean to Elizabeth.
I know you didn't. It's fine. It's really fine.
I'm... I am very flattered.
Yeah. Circling. So Rainbow Run it back. The Architectural Digest tours.
I would like to do that.
And I love those Architectural Digest. It's called like open door tours.
Yeah, well, Walton did one recently and it was so good. His place is gorgeous. It's gorgeous.
Dakota Johnson. Is your food here? Oh, fuck. Our coffees.
Thank you. Thanks, WAP. Yeah, I just love those. And I would really like to do it when my home is done.
Look, I'm not a big enough person for them to want me to do it, but my home is going to really be worth seeing.
Yeah, that's what I mean. Like she, they're, it's them. It's, it's Nikki Kehoe plus my architect, Bill, Bill Baldwin. Bill. They created like, it's just incredible.
I think this could happen. So I would love for it to get some love.
I'm going to manifest it.
I'm just gonna hope and pray.
This is the hot guy because I don't want to ask. I want them to come to me.
Oh, knock, knock, knock.
Mine just has cinnamon.
Yeah, well, I got to get my calcium in because of my bone density. Oh, right, because you hear Swiss cheese bones. I spoke to my mom the other day, and she asked me every other time I talked to her if I'm taking my calcium. And every time I say no, no, I'm not taking that. I'm not going to take it. So that's that.
Ooh, it's nice with cinnamon. I love cinnamon. What's your favorite spice?
Yeah, you got vanilla.
Well, I guess I'll call it a spice.
Not really. It's a bean. Here are your options.
Yeah, it's a weird question.
Okay, yeah. Rosemary, oregano, coriander, cumin, thyme, black pepper. You could go black pepper.
Garlic powder, onion powder. Salt.
Salt is not considered a spice. I just am Googling most popular spices. Okay. Oh no, this is already... Salt is the first one. Yeah. Ugh, AI.
Yeah, most commonly used spices, but it shouldn't say salt if it's not... It's like, that's the green hats. This is the green hat riddle that we still haven't told on here. Okay. Do you want to do it now? Nope.
Black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, chili powder, cumin, cinnamon, ginger.
Yeah. Well, that normally has chili powder, paprika, cumin, a lot of cumin. Cumin. Salt, pepper.
Turmeric. Very good spice for you. Yeah. Very healthy spice. Do you think people have turned it off by now? Yeah, I understand. I understand why.
All right. Well, Bert Kreischer. Oh, well, before I move on from Freddie, we have to give a shout out to Freddie's mom.
Haley. But I like to refer to her as Freddie's mom.
I just think it's so cute.
She is so nice. And we chatted with her.
Well, this is part of it. It's like, obviously, Freddie is cool because the mom is so cool and the dad is so cool.
And all the students agree. Both of the parents are gorgeous. And so obviously Freddie's gorgeous and cool.
And he wears an earring.
He borrowed his sister's pearl earring today.
Listen. If I decide to have a kid with a donor, how many am I going to have to look through? I mean, this is like really... Do you get to see photographs of them? I don't know about that. You should be able to. I think some you can, some maybe you can't, depending on the bank.
No, he has. Well, I mean, I would love to make a little Vinny. That would be my dream. But I can't ask anyone I know. OK. I have to go to the bank.
Actually, that's not true. I could ask someone I know, but no one I like see a lot.
Because wouldn't you feel, wouldn't both of you feel weird if both of, if one of you, either of you gave me your sperm and then we were all hanging out and my kid's there and it's your kid.
Exactly. And then that gets complicated for everyone.
But if I had if I had a kid that was half years and I was letting them go shopping every day.
That's more likely for me.
Well, if it's half me, odds are. Yeah, you definitely can't be giving anyone your son.
It wouldn't feel the same would be my guess.
Oh, yeah. I'm forgetting you're a rounder. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. That would, Kristen wouldn't want that.
Well, that's a lot on her. That would be a lot on her for you to then like kind of take on this other kid.
And she demanded to be in their life.
Oh, right. Well, no, let's say there's no mom involved. She gives it to. Oh, to a guy. Yeah.
Lucky him. That would be a cute kid. Oh, yeah.
I think it'd be red hair and tiny. Oh, like Seth. Yeah, like Seth's kid.
I mean, the whole family would just have to get on board. You'd have to get on board. It's like, this is basically our God, this is our God daughter.
Well, no, because that's not, see, this is where things get.
Right. So that's one scenario. And there's a more common scenario, which is that the dad or mom wants to raise their kid like as they want to raise their kid and not then go to their donor and like co-parent.
Yeah, but maybe, like, you know, you know how it is with all the parents and stuff. You don't want advice or co-parenting from some other parent, even if you really like them. Like, we all, we have a pod full of parents. And I actually think this is a great thing about the pod. I mean, of course, people ask each other for advice and there's, like, conversations about parenting.
But very little. People are parenting... That's right. Across the board. And that's great.
Everyone's accepting of that.
Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So I don't think it would work if it was like, hey, Dax, just so you know, like, I think what you should be maybe doing with Lincoln is, you know.
Yeah, that's hard on the kid.
It's not just you. This is an interesting question in general. I think so.
Yeah, but maybe he's like... But then the baby might think... It's hard for a kid. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, I have no idea. I think whatever you get is what's normal. I have no idea.
What people do... With the sperm, when they get to choose sperm, as opposed to choosing your partner, this is different, right? What you have the ability to do when you're choosing sperm is like, you're kind of creating what you think is like the perfect person. Yeah.
mix with what you know you're giving so it's like you know the good qualities you're giving and the bad ones yeah if you if you're being honest with yourself like i might be handing over these sets of things so what i don't want to do to me i was like if you want a deaf dyslexic alcoholic look no further this is me yeah these are the genetics no but i mean like i guess i'm sort of
That's what I'm saying.
Exactly. You know what I'm saying? I mean, also, of course, there are kids with two addict parents that are beautiful and wonderful and great.
In some ways, you. Your mom is an addict in some ways. Well, she's a love addict. Yeah, exactly.
You got it all. I got it all. And you're great.
You're thriving. I'm largely great. We can at least agree that you're thriving and your life has worked out really nicely. So like, you know, you don't, and partners don't do this, I don't think. I mean, sometimes they think through like, Oh, this is a good partnership because they're like bouncing me out. But I don't think that's what a lot of relationships are.
I know. But most people aren't. They're attraction driven.
So anyway, it's just interesting.
In someone, you know, or Monica, if someone needed it, that's nice of you. What about, but what if you saw them every day?
Yeah. That feels a little different.
I think a lot, it's just your personality. I think a lot of people can say like, oh, that's great. I'm just helping. Yes. And that's great. And that's not my kid. Yeah. That's your kid.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't think anyone should feel guilt.
All right, this is... Bert. This is for Bert.
Now, what animals are native to Germany? Because he's under the impression that they don't have any predators there.
Okay. Number 10, chamois. That's like a goat.
Chamois. Good call. Okay. Red fox. I think red foxes are so cute.
I think you should because I kind of think I'm a red fox.
I'm not. As soon as I said it, I knew I wasn't.
Yeah, because that's a... They're clever.
Well, people call... If you're hot, you say you're a fox.
They're like the Armchair Anonymous leg guy. They're like jam.
You see? Eight, greater horseshoe bat. Seven bicolored shrew. At least I'm not a bike. Am I a bicolored shrew?
I kind of look like that. That looks like a little mouse.
Well, except that its diet is made up of root tubers, large insects, carrion, ick, cereals, and small mammals.
Yeah, it's kind of cute.
Yeah, that's probably right. Okay, wild boar. Scary.
European wild cat. Now, these are interesting because they're big, but they look like regular domestic cats.
And I find that creepy. I don't like that.
Yes. Did a spell made that cat huge?
Harry Potter. Okay. European pine martin.
That is a family of badger, weasel, otter, and mink. Oh, okay. Wooded areas. They're found in wooded areas.
Fast runners. Both good on the ground and in trees. Fire salamander. Very scary. If you're barefoot. Poison glands. Oh. And alpine ibex.
All right, so there's nothing I'm too scared of here. He was right. I'll give him that.
Okay, do the dealers in Vegas get to keep their tips or does it go to the house? Nevada laws allow tips to be shared among employees as long as the employer doesn't keep any of them. This gives casinos and other employers in Nevada the authority to require employees to share tips with both tipped and non-tipped workers as long as none of the participants are considered the employer. Okay.
You know what? They should take Jess's class.
Because he's really changing the game over there.
Yeah. He has all these restaurants. It's called the Restaurant Launch. And he has all these restaurants that he helps. He like comes in and teaches them how to up their game and how to like really be a good server.
Now, 10 highest grossing comedy tours of 2024.
Yeah, she wants this listed on people's houses.
Yeah, I don't want to bother her. Don't bother her.
What are we going to do? Tell her about everyone's money? Yeah. Oh, I don't know.
Yes. And you're going to drag me into this? She's probably so scared to answer.
I'm playing it so cool with her. And here you are.
She might be at her kid's rainbow run. Your call has to be.
I feel really relieved.
Oh, my God. You're going to call back?
Mindy, I'm so sorry. We know you're very busy.
We're happy you didn't answer.
You know, there's only a few people in this world who make me nervous.
Oh, you want to call Matt next?
Joe Coy, number 10. We're going to go in 10 to 1. Okay. Joe Coy, he grossed $26 million. He did 83 shows, 368,000 tickets sold.
I'm sure. He should go on Cribs.
Number eight, Jerry Seinfeld. Another classic.
They can't. 27.8 million, 36 shows, 199,000 tickets.
I also think Adam Sandler is not as, he's harder to get.
Seinfeld does do comedy tours every now and then.
But Adam Sandler, like, oof. Trevor Noah, number seven.
94 shows, 392,000 tickets. Number six. Here's our guy.
Bird Kreischer. No shirt. No shirt. 29.7 million.
Well, because 64 shows. Less shows. Oh, less shows.
Number five, another friend of the pod, Sebastian Maniscalco. Very enjoyable episode. Check it out in the archives.
$36.5 million for Sebastian. Oh, I love it. 53 shows, 293,000 tickets. Oh, baby.
Number three. I mean, I'm sorry, number four, number four. How much? 37.5 million.
60 shows, 399,000 tickets. Ooh, tasty. Number three, Gabrielle Iglesias. Sure. 42.8 million.
Mm-hmm. Number two, Matt Rife.
Yeah, he's younger. 57.5 million.
Oh, God. I hope he's giving to charity. Yeah.
That's too many. That's every day. 733,000 tickets. Wow. Number one, Nate Bregazzi.
82.2 million. 82.2 million.
Wow. Pretty cool. Okay. Are orcas acting up? Yeah. Yeah. They're ramming boats and... Getting wily. They're getting real wily. Now... What's way more interesting is while I was editing this episode and we were at the orcas part, the orcas part was part of the SeaWorld portion of this episode where he talks about finding someone's ring at SeaWorld. Oh, yeah.
He finds things. But then we were talking about SeaWorld and orcas. And I'm in the middle of that part. Listening. And then email pops up. It's a request. It's an ad request for SeaWorld.
Look at you. That's so nice.
That was such a glitch.
Okay. Now, what is Campari? Oh, I regret to inform you. I know. Okay. You told me that Bert did have the bee's knees.
And I haven't done his yet.
I feel bad. I feel bad.
I wasn't. I didn't do it again. You still didn't do it. I know.
Oh, you shaved 10 whole years off. How nice.
Friday. Yeah, I could probably get some down.
The problem is, but I'm going to be open because I want to do this for Bert. I just know I'm not going to like the Campari Spritz.
I just, I don't even like Aperol Spritz, which everyone likes. And this is like a stronger, more bitter version of Aperol. But you know what? I'm going to do it.
But I don't like Jack Daniels.
Well, why do I have to? Why can't I go with something fancy?
Oh, you do ginger ale.
What about ginger beer?
I drink whiskey. I drink old fashions.
No, I like Four Roses. I like Blantons.
Four Roses, you probably would have liked. It's really good. And it's better.
These are classics. Yeah, you're going classic. That's right.
Mm-hmm. That's what America was built on. Woodford. Have you ever had Woodford? No. Woodford Reserve. Very good. Very good product.
Because they sound elite. Oh, my.
Ew. Jack Daniels. No.
He should have a. I could see it.
Mike Pence gin. Absolutely not, because I like gin.
OK, that's it. Love you. Love you.
Because there's nothing scary there, you're saying.
It's like 14 minutes of trying to figure out.
And did you have a complex around that?
Wait, I don't know this. We are definitely talking about this.
Just for people listening, I think that is a version of fighting.
We had this conversation sort of recently, randomly, where we were at odds at how to handle a situation that affects both of us. And he was like, well, we're just different. I'm a fighter. And I was like, I'm a fighter, too. But I fight differently. There's just all ways of surviving. Yeah.
Mechanisms. Yeah. And whatever works best.
I mean, I do fight also. Well, she and I. So that's why I was like, what are you talking about? We yelled and screamed at each other last night.
I think I learned early on being a marginalized person. That wasn't going to work for me. Yelling and screaming, that would just remove me from that. I was already on the cusp of getting removed. So that wasn't going to work. That's my wife. Yeah, it's getting actually close to those people. Oh yeah, that's right. That's right.
It is. That's a cultural thing.
Yes. It's like getting close, understanding the person and figuring out what they need from you in order to stay.
I just saw her peripherally. We talked about this. You get two people in life, if you're lucky, who are safe spots. And so if one or both are not safe, they're unpredictable. You have no choice, but your cortisol levels are at a whatever. That's exactly right. How you're moving through.
Ironically, that's a version of the fight I was talking about earlier. That's you fighting in a different way to survive that. And it's not fighting with yelling. It's fighting with love and affection and being the right thing for her and all of that. It's the
No one's getting their feelings hurt.
Quince is amazing.
I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater for me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
That you have an idea for a script.
I have a script. Yes, that's so great.
It's like performance art. You're just doing this around town. Oh, that's what it is.
He was... We had him on and it was the best episode of the year by far. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
Yes, we have. Not that Matt Damon is my double name. There is a Venn diagram there of you and Matt and Tom Hanson.
Oh, my goodness.
Wait, you were going to be him?
Jesse Eisenberg was just talking about this with Adventureland because it was supposed to be Michael Cera. And he just spent the whole shoot being like, I'm not Michael Cera. I'm not Michael Cera. He was just panicking the whole time.
Adventureland was Greg Mottola.
I have seen that. It is unbelievable. It's an unbelievable movie. I think you made me watch it maybe and I loved it.
It's a version of a psychology degree. Totally.
While you were counting, you were talking.
So anyway, I ended up.
It's incredible.
It's pretty. It's effective. It's effective. Efficient.
Oh, my goodness. That sounds nice.
It's a good cover, too.
That goes out the window in this podcast.
Do people get in fights in AA meetings? There are. No, I don't. Well, I know you almost got in a fight once with Eric Dane. We talked about that as well.
Oh my, that's beautiful. It's tragic, but it's beautiful.
Also, this episode's on video if people want to watch it.
Well, it's the power of identity that we put on ourselves. Like the whole story where you like being the crazy dad. And then in one second, you're not the crazy dad. You're a person.
And that's all we really are.
Yeah, I was wondering that too.
Not live. Five days late. But five days ago, we were in the midst of an apocalypse.
That's thoughtful.
I would have been surprised if it was open.
Yeah. So, yeah. Yesterday, at like, I guess, two, I guess, or one early, a fire started in the Palisades, which is on the west side, so far from us. Normally, these fires happen in Malibu.
Yeah. Palisades was new and closer, more inland. And it just kept going and going and going. And everyone there had to evacuate. And it's gone. The Palisades is gone. The Palisades village is completely gone.
They were insane.
Yeah. And that's why the fires got really out of control. And apparently they were that Palisades fire was moving at five football fields a minute.
Am I following them? Well, that's what's interesting.
Yeah, I mean, a lot of journalists have a they chase that like that's a part of their personality. I feel like when we had Anderson Cooper on, we talked a little bit about that, that it's in some ways it's like an addict's brain, like there's some element of that. chasing a chaos.
Yeah, I think if you get out, you can then reflect back and have that opinion.
So that happened. And then... There was a lot of warnings that likely more fires would start popping up in the night because it was supposed to get much worse. The winds were supposed to increase between 10 p.m. and 4 a.m. and hit like 100 miles per hour. You know, everyone started like getting these warnings and stuff. I had this app. And yeah, I'm just like staring at the map of L.A.
and just like watching them just pop up all over the place.
Yeah. Did she have to evacuate?
Wasn't it so cozy? Everything is so soft and so comfortable and so cute. You know I have a bunch of their products I've acquired over the years, and I love them all, all for different occasions. I have that gray dress that I really love that I can dress up or down.
Yes, I have the jammies. I have the bras. The bras are really something special because it's really hard to find a good, comfortable bra that's also chic. And they have a really good one, the Fits Everybody T-shirt bra. It really does fit everybody. I have gifted this.
looking at all of this I was so confused I was just like I don't know fires like I don't understand them I don't know where you're supposed to go if there's a fire on all sides how do you get anywhere uh How how early are you supposed to leave? Should I be going somewhere now just in case?
Because, yes, this Altadena one is on one side of us and at this point is moving into Glendale, which is very close to us. And it's like I just felt like I have no idea what to do. And you were scared. Very.
Yeah. I was up till three staring at this thing.
And then I lost power and then I lost cell and Internet and I couldn't communicate with anyone. And it was scary. Yeah.
That's OK. Yeah. Sometimes it's hard to be by yourself, but it was fine. Obviously, we're fine here. Thank God we're so lucky to be in a place that we did not have to evacuate. We know people.
Yep. We know people whose houses have burned down. Many people have had to leave.
Not really. He's not in my algorithm.
palisades thing is gonna it's just gonna be gargantuan across the board it's like when we think about where talent and energy is being spent when the the city is on fire you really start evaluating like what is the point of all this other extra accoutrement when we can't even get a fire under it's still like i think the altadena fire is still at zero percent containment
Like, yeah, it's wild. Even military. I'm like, why? Why?
Exactly. Thank fucking God.
And then no one repairing it either. Like, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, it's wild.
firefighters and then also even today just all the landscape workers like there's so many people out there like trying to clear out there's a huge tree that huge that fell on those fields in commonwealth so that whole intersection is completely blocked by a tree and like you see these guys out there like trying to get it out yeah it's it's wild it is wild it felt very end of days um
I think I have to say yes, but that's a straight up lie. I think maybe I've only half seen it.
Yes, I thought about this.
Oh, my God. I know. Infrastructure. Yes, I know. I know. I, I agree. I fully agree.
So scary. That's probably also maybe if they escape, then it's more time to find them before they like hit a community. Maybe it's part of also why they're remote.
We can't search. That sounds like a movie. We have no internet. Yeah, we don't have internet here, so we can't do any searches.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, anyway, it's been a wild 24 hours. Very eventful. Very eventful 24 hours in Los Angeles. Oh, and for people who will probably ask, because in today's episode, we reference that we did a commercial and that it's out, but it's not out yet. We did postpone putting it or the company decided to probably rightfully postpone. So just as nothing else. I mean, what else has happened since?
Yeah. Whenever you're not in the movie, she fast forwards.
Josh Brolin, I think, lived in Malibu. So that's a ding, ding, ding.
Yep. Still journaling.
Yeah, today's the 8th, right?
Today's the 8th. So eight days.
Eight days of journaling. And I'm also.
And it was interesting because, you know, people were like, make sure you have your stuff ready in case you got to go fast. And I was just sort of like looking around my apartment. and i was like what do i what should i take like what is important to me yeah And all I took was my passport and my medication. Yeah. I didn't put anything in there.
I didn't like or dislike.
It's out currently. It's out currently. Rob's went out much earlier last night.
Wow. The winds were so crazy. And you could hear it like so loudly as if it was like a thunderstorm.
So no, no, you must be thinking of your doppelganger, Matt Damon, Goodwill hunting. You're just confused. But Corey Feldman, sorry. No, what's happening?
That's very nice. Yeah, it was very touching and moving. OK, so the Fred Durst Corey Feldman tour is called Loserville, which we don't like.
I mean, I'm not blaming them for calling it a bad name, but it makes me feel sad that they called it that.
Well, this says the wild, mostly sold out summer tour that brought together two pop culture icons who know exactly what you think of them.
Yeah. And then he talks about Skylight Books, which is down the street from us.
I love Skylight Books. It's a great bookstore.
Sometimes I like to just go on walks. And that's a nice destination for the walk because it's a good amount of distance. Yeah. And then it has a nice little ending. It's cute. It's really cute to walk around there.
They're hard, yeah.
Well, the wind probably didn't help.
Could have been a factor.
Now, we've talked about this many times, but I always feel like it's not correct, so I always check it. About Matt Damon and 10% of Avatar, it's correct.
Yep, it's still correct. It'll always be correct.
Now, that's the part I haven't reconfirmed.
That would just laughs.
Yeah. Almost made. I guess that's what you have to do. Also.
He's done great. He's done great.
They would never sell it. Never. Too much integrity.
Oh, that sounds great.
I wonder if they're wine girls. I don't think so.
There might be more martini girls. I would put them more in the martini category. Sophisticated.
A little. I love it. I love it. But I'm pedestrian.
All right. That's it for Josh.
How many interviews are you doing?
Like, what new are we going to get?
With the chimp, right? Did you read it, by the way? No, I don't read the books on purpose.
It's kind of like the Goonies situation I was put into. No, no, no. No, but I do on purpose in case things get too esoteric for people who have not read it.
Even this, like I want to know specifically the why, the parts that you resonate with.
Santa Barbara seems to be the place. When my parents first came to visit here, we went to Santa Barbara on a day trip and they were like, this reminds me of India. I was like, what?
You could probably get them out now.
Well, he had to protect himself and his family.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Do you think you're at risk of ever peeing in your pants?
Why don't you guys tell the exact same story? We'll plan it.
You're so lucky you weren't paralyzed.
And they have to read out loud.
The black guy wrote it. Yeah, exactly.
It would be disrespectful to not do it.
Was there anyone else or just you two?
You get really rigid in front of the camera. Most people do.
Yeah, we need to see it. Okay, we have the picture up.
It says join the forces, kill.
Mo plays Mo in that, but then in his show, he's a different Mo.
I think it's hard when people die. You kind of remember their death. That's the first thing that is top of mind. So to click back into their life when they were happy and joyous and living with vitality, that's a gift.
How is your Instagram? Because Instagram is, well, social media is a cesspool.
It's tough. Do you face a lot of backlash and weird stuff there?
You should. You really should.
Yes, because you have boasted many a time about your haircutting capabilities.
And I've never experienced it. And I need a haircut so badly.
I mean, you can do some other stuff if you want.
But be careful so you can play with it a little bit.
Yeah, you got your scissors and your brush.
Have you ever cut hair on an Indian woman's head?
Oh, then you'll be fine. You'll be fine with that comb.
I don't think they're exactly the same, but yes, I think there's a thickness. Although Matt once told me, Matt, our friend who's a hairstylist, told me that the actual strand itself of mine is not that thick. It's more like medium.
Well, green eyes happens there sometimes, but no blonde hair.
Well, exactly. That would be the only way. Albinism.
It's all of us, right? We just don't know how to operate in the world. Humans do not know how to operate.
I did send it to Callie, of course. I sent her the text. She said, what is going on? And I responded and she said, but where is the bread from? Oh, we still don't know. It really important.
I've never tried her. You haven't? Only Amy's.
You definitely get it of all people.
No. When you have your five dishes that you make, that you used to make, those were your special dishes. Mm-hmm. And- One of them is a tuna. Chicken salad sandwich. Excuse me, a chicken salad sandwich.
I haven't had it in a while.
Yeah, well, you can have it on the sourdough, I guess. How often are you cheating with the sourdough?
No, that like I think you're just underweight. Like your body wants to weigh more. So, of course, it's like getting something and it's going to hoard it.
Is it that or is it that you got back from New York and you had all this yummy food and now you want yummy food again?
No, maybe you are having, you know how they call them sympathy pains when a woman is pregnant and then the man also experiences pains.
And you said that was like sympathy weight or something.
But is that just because like the woman is eating more?
Yeah. I think it's maybe more that like she's eating more. Oh, yeah. There's more on her plate, literally. Yeah. So then you're just matching that.
You might be having sympathy weight gain from us all being on our periods.
Oh, okay. Oh, no. Yes, of course this is a good story.
Yeah, I'd be embarrassed by that story.
Well, there's a woman, but there's only.
maybe years ago. I don't really use tampons anymore.
I use period underwear. And there's a lot of rages. People use the cup.
I'm just afraid of it. I'm not anti.
Yeah. And she also told us a story of someone, she was at a wedding and a girl's popped it, you know, pop and locked.
It fell out and blood flew everywhere.
Yeah, I would say that. But listen, I have, I'm sure- At some point in life when I was wearing tampons, wore a tampon without an underwear. Oh, definitely. Like in a bathing suit.
Let me tell you why. If you're wearing a certain dress, like let's say you're going to a wedding or something, and you're wearing a certain dress and you don't want underwear lines... you'd go without.
Even still depending. I mean, there are some good underwears that you can use, but there are certain dresses that like, you can just see it. So there are times that I... I gotta go to more weddings. There are times that I... Haven't worn underwear.
That's a tampon. And I'm not worried a tampon.
I've been on my period for, I mean. A hundred years. I mean, since I was 11. Or 12. You got it at 11? Or 12. I forget.
No. I was an early bloomer. Okay. And anyway, I have been on it for a really long time. And then I like, I know the feeling of what it is to have a tampon in and not have underwear.
Listen, I remember I wore a dress sort of recently that I didn't wear underwear. I do know that. And I kind of feel like I was on my period then. And I think I wore a tampon specifically because I don't really wear tampons anymore. And I remember I had to wear it.
Plug, plug. I would never be worried about popping and locking and the tampon falling out.
So I can see why the Diva Cup, you wouldn't.
Yeah. They're wily. It's like, I think it's like big. So, so the fact that the whole thing is up there, it does feel like it would be like kind of, I think, but rubbery, I think.
Here it is next to... A micro penis? A tampon.
Okay. You just really want to say bad to the bone.
No, I want to hear about whiskey, and I know he's bad to the bone.
Ew, he's sounding kind of like burrito. A tiger.
You are so lucky that your sister did that because he would have died of TSS.
Maybe hit. We don't know about.
Yeah, because that's when you need a tampon when you're in a bathing suit.
In some ways it's a hard product. In some ways it sells itself. Cause like if you need it, you get it. Yeah.
Well, maybe that's why tampons have had to step up their game because there are competing period underwear.
Can you let me finish, please?
I know. Okay. Um, it's, it's, there are brands, Knicks. Knicks is a brand. So you don't, you don't have to say period underwear. You can say like.
Sure. Knicksies, regular Knicks.
And then there's, um, Thinks. That's a huge brand.
It is. Maybe they are not stealing. Maybe they are... Inspired by Tampax. They're building upon the Tampax.
This is, look, nothing against the tampon industry, but this is better for you.
Okay. How are you going to get these people back on tampons? The people that have left to the cuff.
Yeah. You're in a meeting right now. Here we are. Guys, our sales are plummeting.
Because there's all these competing trends now that, look, I hate to say it, and this doesn't leave this room, they're better for the women's bodies.
No, you wash it. You technically rinse it out. Yeah.
But I leave mine on all day.
Yeah, I do. My flow, even at its heaviest, one can sustain it.
No one wants tampons to fly everywhere.
Or if they think it's a sucker. All the men offered this campaign immediately. This is so embarrassing and bad. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Every woman has been in a situation where a tampon's fallen out, and it's like the most...
It is so upsetting when your tampon falls out of your backpack.
You're not. Okay. I need to take a break. As we've established, I am currently on my period.
Exactly. Where do you see? There's no, I'm not carrying any underwear. There's no underwear in my bag.
Listen, I put up with a lot here, okay?
If this man would rather me get TSS slash have to put cloth up my pussy.
Thank you for explaining that to me. If this man, this hot man who I think is kind and nice and from another country this man is,
I think this man from another country really understands that Americans are crazy.
No, but not in this type of area.
Tex, you don't know what it's like to be a woman.
Not in the female hygienic space.
No, but in general, they wear more pads.
No, that's I want to get a little more nuanced. I wouldn't. And stop saying big pair of underwear.
Listen, I'm currently wearing a thong period underwear.
This is what I'm saying. You don't understand what's going on.
Yes. And it looks, it has lace.
Now, what I wouldn't want to happen, I will say this. What I would not want to happen is my bag falls out.
dirty period underwear falls at that.
I'm personally not though. So I can't,
See? Now, listen. This is what I... Yes. Would I rather... A little tampon.
Okay, it falls out. Yes, I would prefer that to dirty period underwear falling out at a restaurant.
Better in a Ziploc bag, at least, than on its own.
If that happened, the underwear Ziploc bag slash regular stinky underwear. When it happens. I would say, ugh, that's embarrassing. Oh, no, this is like David Chang all over again. No, I would address it. I would address it. I'd be like.
Oh, my God. I would say. Hmm. I don't wear tampons anymore because they're not good for you.
Exactly. And that's the end of that.
Oh, that's so embarrassing. I'm so embarrassed. I just don't wear tampons anymore because they're not great for you, for women's bodies.
I think you're probably a rare customer, but I would be like, oh, so glad you're shit your pants.
We've said three now. Diva Cup. Yeah.
Okay. So anyway, she pulled the tampon right out of there.
And do you think there was now poop in there too?
That's the right call, right? I mean, I'm upset, obviously.
Oh, it's cutting up. And we were burying it or putting it in the ocean or something.
I'm just also not very strong, even though I've been doing my farmer's carries.
No, when I was going to and from. Getting a glass of wine? I just do it when I see them. Kind of.
They are like right there. I mean, I can't say I haven't done them after a night out.
Yeah. I think I actually am ready. So I've been doing two 40s.
I think I might be ready to move up.
But I'm not going very far. How far are you supposed to go?
Well, I go back and forth until it feels like it's really falling out of my hand. Okay. You think that's bad?
Okay. I just really like it when people brush my hair.
It's gotten really out of control.
Do you want me to do anything with my head? No. Okay, great.
Tell me when you're making your first cut.
Okay. Are you sure you're okay?
Moe Ammer. This was a great episode. Really interesting life.
We've had a few people on lately with really interesting lives.
John Bernthal. Moe. That's it.
Yeah. OK, now I have to check myself. I said that we had someone on Armchair Anonymous who told a story about how they pooped in the aisle of a plane and it got everywhere and it got on the flight attendant.
No, it happened, but it was the flight attendant called. It was flight attendant stories.
Or plane stories or something. And she told it from her perspective. She's the one that got pooped on. Oh.
I know. It's one of your main...
Yeah, you want it to happen, really.
How's it going with the haircut?
Well, do we want to cauterize it?
Yeah, that we just learned about.
That's an Easter egg for Armchair Anonymous. And it's a dick.
Okay. When do Michael Che and Colin Jost do their like swapy?
Uh-huh. That happened at Christmas. They might do it more, but that was at Christmas.
Yes. And then last time they did it, they talked about Scarlett's vagina and it caused some issues. Oh, my God, Jax. Hold on.
You're right. It is a ding, ding, ding.
Be careful not to get any blood on your white shirt.
Are you so far happy with the cut?
Okay, okay, okay. Don't get upset. Okay. Now, why shouldn't adults get their tonsils removed? They will experience more pain and slower healing compared to children, and there's a higher chance of complications like bleeding or infections. Okay.
I don't even know what that means, because, like, that's haircutting lingo.
Yes. So I still don't really understand it. Like it must be the size of the tonsils would be my guess.
Yeah, there's like bleeding, but you'd think a kid's tonsils would lead to more bleeding.
We're getting some epic tales in this garage.
Okay, now when did the U.S. enter the Gulf War?
I mean, close. Maybe not. Maybe they were about to, so they probably talked about it. Okay, now the Kuwaiti citizenship thing.
Yeah, this is, I think, what we refer to as jumping the shark.
Oh my God. I know, he really did it. And Monica's hair's in it. Yeah, that's what I told her. Do we wanna rinse it off?
Why did you let him do this?
You should have seen my hair. It was way too long. Right? They're really bad. Thank you, Lincoln.
Okay. I'll do my, I can't guarantee it, but I'll try.
You said he's bad to the bone.
Well, no, I just don't like, well, as you know, I have my struggles with Whiskey. Yeah, everybody does.
Like he doesn't even think it's a brag.
Okay, now back to the fat. How's the blood?
Great. It didn't bleed through the Band-Aid?
Okay. Now, I asked AI about the Kuwaiti passports and stuff.
In citizenship. And it said, in general, no, being born in Kuwait does not automatically grant you Kuwait citizenship or a passport. Kuwait follows a jus sanguinis, that means right of blood principle, rather than jus soli, right of the soil principle. Great. Yeah.
Not great, but great for the information. Great to find out, yeah. Yeah. Let's see. The Peabody's. Do you think maybe we'll get a Peabody for this fact check?
And... Yeah, and so did I. Quite a bit of blood.
Okay. The George Foster Peabody Awards, or simply Peabody Awards, or the Peabody's, named for the American businessman and philanthropist George Peabody, honor what are described as the most powerful, enlightening, and invigorating stories in all of television, radio, and online media.
Because of their academic affiliation and reputation for discernment, the awards are held in high esteem with the media industry. And as I told you, they are presented by the Grady College of Journalism and Mass Communications at the University of Georgia. Ding, ding, ding.
And we still don't have one, even though that's the case, which is pretty upsetting.
And they, when you're in college there and you're part of the journalism school, which technically I was because my PR degree was with Grady, you could apply and basically audition slash try out to be one of their like student judges. And I did that and I did not get chosen. Okay.
Mahjong. Yes, he did. He did. He won like three out of three games. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's true friendship.
Sure. Oh, that reminds me of an even worse thing that happened.
No, with Callie. So... Oh, I remember this story somehow, I think. What was it? When I lived in Atlanta after college and I had an agent and was trying to work in Atlanta before I moved to L.A., you know, the auditions that come through aren't that frequent. Right. So it feels like there's a lot of pressure on them. There was a commercial audition for— Wow. I don't remember.
It was a fast food brand company. Yeah. And... And they basically said, like, bring a friend to the audition because you needed to, like, be interacting with someone in it.
No, she wasn't there to act. She was there to just be there with me and do this thing. And then she booked it. I'm pretty sure I did cry about that.
Oh, yeah. I didn't blame her. Even then I didn't blame her. But I was like, man, I suck.
Thank you. You just got to stick with it, you know?
Okay, yeah, because you said you like to be playful.
You didn't see any. That's good.
Yeah. I was thinking a lot about Kee during this episode.
Are you regretful right now that you didn't take this opportunity to shave one side of my hair? Stop! Stop!
It really feels like you're doing it. Stop, stop, stop. Did you get some?
What about this part I'm holding?
Oh, phew, okay, so it's done?
I mean, this was your opportunity.
It's definitely less straggly, yeah.
All right, well, that was great.
Great. All right. That's it.
Yeah. We had an armchairion tell a story about that where he pooped in the lane. Yeah.
Oh, my God. And all these beautiful flight attendants were there. And there's poop on them now.
Yeah, we'll knock on wood for that one.
No. I grew up. I didn't even have a TV.
Probably. Well, I'm pretty sure. I mean, I can't be sure, but I think only after coming to this country.
When I grew up, that was the case.
But not anymore. Okay. I mean, at least, you know, it's really associated with wealth. You know, people get... have more money. Yeah.
No. Yeah. We did not do that.
How was everything? Everything else good?
What is it? I think I've heard about it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've not watched it, no.
It's the best version of a familial relationship. That's right. It doesn't have all the baggage around it. It's like the purest. I've never thought of it like that. That's really true.
Staying likable is a thing that women carry that men do not. Do they not, though?
Well, being likable for a man is that is exuding confidence. They're not trying to balance being dominant and being submissive all at once.
Uh-oh. Here we go. We love patterns. Remember Trauma? earlier?
I think I have it less so now. You started to say you saw something on Instagram that we got really derailed.
I don't know. Some people are embarrassed. Really? I find it odd too.
But modeling, she grew up seeing her. And I feel like you're interesting with embarrassment. You get embarrassed, but you also like getting embarrassed.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
That's really good.
When you say you didn't identify as the smoke show that Dax identified you as, then were you like, my, quote, worth is in humor, is in being smart, those things.
That's changed a lot of things for us, I think. The success of it. I think it's made the pressure a little more. The more we sign deals and start doing those things, then it's like, we got to have big numbers. It almost took away the thing that we started with, which was like, let's just chit chat.
Sorry, I got confused because we had talked at the beginning about her passing.
Today's the day. Starts.
I haven't done them in a long time, too. It was good money, but not like it was. No, that was the promise. Like you could get this one commercial and you could get $250,000 and that never happened. No.
Parenthood fans are so excited right now.
I see it on your paper and I'm so excited.
Or even if they know what's happening, that's still sad for them probably. Like no one feels that they can come talk to me for real.
You already did it. You proved yourself. You've been on multiple things that are incredible. The fact that things are still kind of out there, it's huge.
Oh, I was thinking that when you guys were talking about parent hoodie stuff, big mistake for them not to do a parent hoodie.
Well, we land on Monica Marks. I like that.
And it really is.
Yeah. I know. That's a thing. You haven't heard that? No.
Is there something weird, though, about, weird maybe isn't the right word, but a little unsettling about seeing the person from so many years ago in the exact same spot they were? I don't know. Oh, no, it's fine.
I know. I don't know if it gets less funny and more like, oh, Friends was my number one. I could not have loved it more. Yeah. And I'm glad they never did that. I'm glad it ended and they did it. It can live like that for me forever.
Free. We love free.
It might be a red flag who does take you up on that offer.
We have to give you props really quick because you make the best banana bread I've ever had in my entire life. Oh, I haven't made that in so long. During COVID, you made it and we had it and it was so good.
Yeah. It's a good part, I guess.
Brown lining, literally.
I do know that.
Los Angeles area.
Okay. Even after having gone.
Oh, you were interviewed. Oh, I thought you guys were like trying to sell your product.
Not a lot for me.
Okay, great. I'm just thinking about all these products, you know?
So many products and...
I just... Do we need more products? Unless it's filling a space.
I do think you are filling a space with TED Seekers. I don't think there's a lot of good NA beer.
So I support that product.
But overall, like everyone has a product.
And I... I think I'm going to say I declare I'm against it.
So it's not an anti-capitalist stance. It's more just like, do we need it, guys? More of an enough already? Yeah. It's a little bit more of an enough already mixed with like. Everyone famous has to have some product. Like, not you again.
No, I don't mean you.
I also think selling products is great. I have no beef with people who kind of who do who are doing that.
But I mean, even people who like. don't really care about the product but are like, look, I can slap my name on this and get eyes on it and I think it's fine. I don't have any... I don't really have a problem with some of this bad things that other people might have problems with.
But I do think, like, when I go to... Target, I'll say, if I go to Target.
And there's, like... So many tequilas. They're all one kind of tequila. It's all they're all a celebrity brand tequila of one variety. It's not like they like put in a ton of effort to make it good. You know, I think we recently talked about Paul Feig. Paul Feig has a gin.
But that's like his passion.
Yes. And so that's great to me.
Yeah, but do you think you rage?
I don't need to poke holes in your business.
Yeah, but I think most people think when they hear party, they think like club, 4 a.m.
I'm about parties too then.
I'm just telling you what the colloquial observation of the word party.
And being out late. People think partying is being out late and they don't party with me because I'm in bed by eight.
But we would be honest that it's rare. Yeah, but we used to get panicked because you haven't taken your sleep aids.
B-T-D-T-I. That's like how I live.
I watched all of Running Point on Saturday. I watched the whole show.
I was up late and I guess I was partying.
I like it. You're reclaiming. That's right.
Right. I don't mean to, yeah.
Well, let me be clear really quick. To me, it's not about like, oh, this guy has. It's not about the guy or the girl or the whatever. It's not about the person. It's about the space. It's like, guys, we just don't need another one of these.
Get a little creative. Look and see what's needed. Then do that.
This is the same with beauty. Beauty insiders also feel like this. Like, wow, everyone has a makeup brand or a beauty brand. Fragrance. Something. And I agree, but I also think there is some space there. Like, I do like the people who are coming in with a more diverse color palette.
Yeah, because there's a lot of...
Well, there's just a lot of variation within darker colors and that's not available.
I was just asking Simone yesterday. I was like, what did you put on my face again for the SAG Awards? And she was like, I used to.
Yeah, you got to use.
George Clinton, but his is good. Well, yeah, they could be good or they could be- I guess, but I guess with that, I didn't even know that was his brand.
I was drinking it, Casamigos.
Yes, I was drinking that.
Oh, good for him. And then I was, then I learned- Like, I think he invested in that, right?
But that's selling. That's like, he's the spokesperson. I'm fine with spokespeople.
That's what I'm saying. That's different. Starting something, founding something, having your own idea and doing it to me is like, Now I'm now I'm confused about what I'm even saying.
Everyone can do it. There's just a lot of products out there.
I agree. Like Kristen was with Spindrift for a while.
That to me is great. Like she likes the product and it exists and she is helping promote it. She's a spokesperson. But I think if she on her own was like- And like you guys did it with Hello Bella because you felt like that there was a need.
But if she on her own.
Yes. But I think if she on her own was just like, what product shall I make now?
I'll make vodka.
Or just anything. It's like she didn't do that. And I appreciate that. Like, I think just being hired is great.
I am. Please hire me to be a spokesperson. No, I think you just. No, this is this is nuanced. I would like to be a spokesperson for your product that already exists, but I don't want to clutter the market with a new one.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's all part of it.
No, I made this clear that I think that's different.
Yeah, that's great. Everyone do whatever they want. Yeah.
Me too. Everything's fine. Everyone's doing great.
As I said, I watched all of Running Point. Really enjoyed it. I miss that half hour comedy vibe a lot.
It's such an easy. It's just easy. It's breezy. It's fun. It's sexy. I like it. Um, so I watched all that. Oh, speaking of on my Instagram this week, because it's, it's Mindy week. Although when this comes out, it won't be Mindy week past, but, um, it's Mindy week. So every day this week, I'm posting on stories, an old episode of ours, uh, That is connected to Running Point.
So like yesterday I posted Kate's old episode.
Today I posted Ike's first appearance. Wow, first. Yeah. And then there's more to come.
We've had a lot of those people on.
Yeah, I was very happy.
No, I didn't. I felt great about it.
What else did I do? Oh, I had a big catch-up session yesterday.
with my viewing crew because we were behind and we watched white lotus and severance we were behind so we had to watch two severance two white lotus you have not introduced me to this viewing crew concept this is you just dropped it on my lap like i'm super familiar i told you anna julia jess and i watched that watch severance and white lotus i you told me you had watched an episode i didn't realize it was a commitment and a viewing crew and a weekly
Yeah, it's a weekly Sunday.
Sunday, I make dinner.
Yeah. Yeah. So fun. But the problem is when you miss.
It's a problem.
Are you in Soprano? Yeah, I'm in Soprano.
Maroon. No, it's like then we have four to watch. That was a lot.
Oh, yeah. I didn't understand what you were doing. Okay, yeah.
Okay. All right. So we had to watch four episodes.
Yeah, which was also very fun. That's fun. It was fun. But then the Oscars were also on.
So I had to watch pieces of that. So it was a lot of television consumption over the weekend.
How's my boyfriend? Does he do well? Does he?
Toto. He's one of my boyfriends.
He's definitely been one of my boyfriends since he came on the show.
Well, Ricardo still, but he's not there.
Yes, he's so playful. God, he really is so playful.
Sure, this is great.
We love a comeback.
What do you mean, way I forget?
Yeah, but it's like underdog.
That's what it is. It's not underdog, I don't think.
It's just hard to call him an underdog.
And I won't clean my ass after. Don't say that. It's my opinion. I mean, that's the world we live in. Opinions are facts. You just say it and it's a fact.
Yeah. So, all right. Well, that's fun. You had a viewing party.
Oh, I've been there.
God, yeah. The Philly, they do also have Philly.
It's so unreal.
Oh, you've been hanging out with too many bros.
No, Aaron and Erin are not the bros I'm talking about.
You did used to do the gum, though, remember?
I know. That's why I love them.
Actually, I was thinking about that. This is a Easter egg. You know, you can't wait to watch you tap dance around this.
I know. For someone who is pretty risk averse, I'm really not. I step on the ice all the time.
I do think you connect with bro culture. Like in your head, you think that. Like you grew up in Michigan and, you know, it's dirt road and you have all these bros and then other kinds of bros in Detroit. Like you really connect with that idea. Yeah.
But I think you sometimes identify sometimes. Well, maybe it's just when you're with them. I don't know. But I and I mean this as a huge compliment.
You are not one. Oh, I know. And, like, your bros are sweet boys.
That's, like... I think that there's a distinction for me.
Yeah, that's that's right. I think the broke culture that people talk about.
It's different than what you have and what you're doing.
So just Kristen on the gum?
She was on the gum?
Yeah. Yeah. But like some people do put it to the test, like Rogan. Like he goes and he's like into UFC.
Yeah, but he's choosing still to surround himself and build a life that's still like that.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know that I'll say he's a big bad wolf, but do I think he contributes to a culture that I think is problematic? Yes. And that doesn't mean he himself necessarily is that, but I think he feeds that group what they want and then they get off on it.
Yeah, it's not that they're picking and choosing. He has a huge audience that he, I believe, cares to keep, as you should. Yeah. And I think that means feeding... Feeding it.
I only wondered because, again, Easter egg, we have someone coming out and we have two people coming out that are, in my opinion, well, one of them especially is quite a typical guy.
Atypical of our guests.
And the type of conversation even is different.
And I did think, I wonder what would happen, like in an alternate universe, what would happen if I wasn't here? Not in this, in this show. If it was Dax Solo, what would happen with the show? Who would it be? What would it be? I mean, I think there's no way to know because of like the...
the alchemy you can't you can't tell right but I did you know after I was like oh man I wonder then we went out and your friends were here errands the errands were here and I was like oh I don't it wouldn't be that I think the way you can test it is I've gone on these people's shows and I'm just still me I'm talking about trauma and addiction and being vulnerable yeah even in the
Prove yourself.
You're not bragging about those things. No, but also I but I do. I was thinking. Yes, you're right. I think you would be talking about trauma and you would be. whatever, you know, I agree. You are you, but I was, and this is not a, this is not a pat on my back. Cause it was you who said that I should be here. Yeah. I do think it's just so fucking important to have a woman in the room.
It would be hard. It would be hard.
Yeah, but I, yeah. Well, yeah, sorry. I mean, I mean, as hosts, like it is really important to have a woman there. It changes the dynamic of everything, even if I'm silent. Okay.
Yeah. Again, I don't think it's the enemy. I think they should be able to do that. I'm not like you can't, but I think.
Yeah. I mean, then we get into like women are talking about the things that aren't being talked about. Because that is not a group that gets a lot of attention in that way. Like they're talking about not getting paid. That is important to talk about, right? Like I don't think men on the men's podcast are saying like, yeah, women aren't getting paid.
No, I didn't say, that's putting words in my mouth.
No, it's just representation. It's just that that group needs—they do need more platforms to talk because there aren't that many. So it is good to have—I don't mean—I'm not—I also think the women should have men on.
I think there's a— Well, that's—yeah, yes, that's true.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree. I agree. But I do think there's a lot of ideas currently. I mean, not even ideas. We know. We know what's happening to men. Men are suffering. They are tanking.
And I don't I often think some of these things don't help that. Personally, for them, I think they get very riled up and then they're just continuing to do to go on this course that is not going to pull them out of any of these ruts.
No, the reason to care is the implication it has on a huge group of this country, sort of a currently like kind of disenfranchised male. And they're like rallying around.
But it's not working. It's not getting them out of any of these bad situations that they're in.
I mean, literally all of those people are. I'm not freaking out right now because I don't have any money and they can't buy anything and everything's gone.
I have a lot of jeans. I got rid of a bunch recently too. I heard a new rule, two out, one in. So if you buy something, you have to get rid of two. I'm working on that.
Yeah. And they're going to, and it sucks for them.
but what we started just talking about is that they, they got their president and they did. Yeah. And my opinion is that their president, that they all got fucking fooled. And I don't think that I do think there's a risk, but maybe not a responsibility. I would find it to be my responsibility.
If we had a show, if our show, if I started looking at our audience and I was like, hmm, our audience is all believing something that I don't think is actually correct and is actually going to lead them to suffer, I would want to do something different. here to try to help correct that while keeping them.
Yeah, I'm sure that's right.
OK, then they can live their life like that.
That's too many armoires. I know, but the closet's too small. Yeah. So I had to make more space for said jeans. Yeah. I probably have 20 pairs.
It's very unfair, in my opinion, for you to say that, like ever. So women have to do what women always have to do, which is placate men. Because they have the power and say like, oh my God, it's so, you guys are so great. Please come over. We love you.
Than your overall opinion?
Um, yeah. Yeah. But yes, for like being a woman in America, that's not I mean, I don't know how to combat like you. You did just kind of put me in a you did paint me in a way like, yes, I know, because.
But that's not fair to, I don't think. We have so many men who come on this show, experts and celebrities. I'm not, when they walk in, I'm not like... well, I don't trust you or I'm not sure if I like you. I'm like, yes, I like you until something is said or done where I don't.
No, but that's me interacting with men in the world.
But if I'm behaving in that stereotype, for you to lump you in is a little like. Well, I'm a man. But I know you.
It's not like you're a random man I know. My opinion of you is based on you and you and me. It is not about anything stereotypical.
She's so fun and so smart.
No, I know. But but it's I think there's some contradictions here because also when these stand ups are making jokes about women or other people of other races or whatever. And in your response, which I I think is correct, is if you don't like it, don't watch it. Uh huh. This is the same thing. Why? Why is it if it's a woman doing it? It's like that's really bad.
But when men say something sexist, you can say like, well, just yeah, that's not for you. Don't watch it.
Yeah. I don't think most of the people in the country are hearing the woman at the cabaret show. I think that's very Los Angeles and very New York. I don't think that is happening.
I think it's silly. I don't agree with that. But I think her saying it is not... Yeah, some people are saying it just like men are saying bad shit too. And I'm just like... If we're going to say that it's okay for those people to be saying those things and we just can like have... you know, we can not listen or they can speak to their people, then I think that has to be allowed anywhere.
Yeah. Again, it's happening on both sides like crazy.
Well, she probably does fucking need a man there that she likes. She does. Actually, that's exact. That's a perfect point. If she had someone there that she did trust and know and like that was a man. Yeah. I doubt that would be her opinion.
But the fact that she is so potentially, I don't know anything about this person, but is so siloed off and that so much so that that is her opinion that the world would be better with no men. That to me is an indication that she needs to have some more men in her life that are good.
But to me, that's an issue with silos. And that's exactly my whole problem with these shows that are, I think, intensifying a silo. And I think you're right. It is happening constantly. On both sides where people are only speaking to one group and these thoughts and opinions are getting so extreme, like we should eradicate entire sex and gender. Like, no, that's wild.
I think that's bad. And it's like now after an hour is circling back to what I was saying, which is I think there would be less of it's men versus women if men and women were in rooms together a lot more and building trust. I do too. Oh, my God. A long walk there.
Okay. Facts. Lauren.
Oh, it's still going.
That's really cute. Yeah, special to be on a show that just like keeps finding its audience. Yeah. All right. So the book club, Jenna Bush Hager's book club. These are the books. The Wedding People, Blue Sisters, The Mighty Red, The Motherless Land, Devotions, The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus, and This is a Love Story. Those are the last. That's from August of last year till now.
Lauren had read all of them.
I'm still reading Intermezzo.
When a man loves a woman, she was six.
And then 93. She beat me by a decade.
She was on Friends. And then Lauren was in 93. So she did beat her by one year.
The Howie Mandel game show that they went to visit is called Take It All.
But this is ding-ding-ding sort of back to that riddle that we haven't shared. Take It All is a game show where the final two contestants choose between keeping their money or taking it all. The contestant who chooses Take It All wins all the money and prizes from both contestants. If both contestants choose Take It All, they both lose.
Yeah, exactly. It's important.
Oh, the SNL four-part series. SNL 50, Beyond Saturday Night, includes an episode that explores the Saturday night live audition process. It's on Peacock. If anyone is interested. The movie she did with Joel McHale, A Merry Friggin' Christmas with Robin Williams. How long did This Is Us run? Six seasons. 106 episodes. You guys ran six seasons, 103 episodes.
Oh, I'm behind then. Oof.
That's good. Yeah. I think that's fun. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Well, I'm excited. I'm excited to keep watching. All right. That's it.
I really want her banana bread.
If she brings it, you have to eat some. This is Letterman all over again.
Yep. That's right.
That's a lot. Your relationship, does it mimic the show or is it more equal friends?
Like a millionaire.
Style. It wasn't an actual Benihana. I don't think it wasn't. We don't want to take away from the Benihana name.
No, the kids were crying. And so Kristen took them out and said it was just us two sitting at this big table with Cookie. And Dax panicked. He's like, I can't handle Cookie right now.
You want it to look natural. Like they just naturally ended up looking nice. But not when you look and you immediately think, oh, they're trying so hard.
It was actually better because sometimes you say memoir. And I do think this got closer.
You seem so happy. I was.
Well, it's your core. It's your foundation. And so if that thing has a crack in it, it's going to be extra scary.
We don't trust ourselves. If we try to say it, it's not a trustworthy source.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
We do, but on video this time.
And it's so funny because that's your identity marker of what you think is the most important. I don't care if people say I'm fun. Right. At all. That would not be the thing I chose someone would leave my house and say. And they won't. That's probably not the thing they're going to say about me.
No. God, no.
I think I would want that was an intimate time.
Not like sexually. No, no, I don't think that. Okay.
Thank you.
But I respect her in that story, but I really respect you in that story, too, because you were able to take it, and I think 9.9 people out of 10 could not take it. Like you said, you had to kind of fight the urge. Yes. But most people are not fighting the urge.
They are defensive, and they are also justifying to themselves a million reasons why she's wrong, and then they live the rest of their lives saying, why are you listening to Jane Fonda? So I respect you for being able to.
We just completed a big interview. We're not going to say. We're going to be so elusive.
You dressed up for this guest.
And the last time you did that was...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Very mixed message. We just finished recording an episode that will be out in a few weeks, so you have to wait. You have to be so patient.
Who did Dax wear a suit for? Oh.
I consider wearing it yesterday. We had it also a great interview yesterday.
And so I was considering wearing it then. And then I decided to hold off. I mean, obviously we'll talk more about that episode on, on that episode. Um, It was a big one and it was a long time coming.
Oh, my.
Oh, interesting.
The elephants.
Oh my, you didn't even feel it?
You second guess yourself. You should always trust your gut.
I don't want to say never because I don't want to seem like above you.
Well, I just don't want to act like so superior.
But also it's like.
It's like you're just a mess.
You're just a mess. You don't even know what you're doing.
I wonder what's next.
I'm excited. Do you mind if I take a quick pause and order a coffee?
I need it.
Yeah, that's what it is. Okay, I'm ordering from Cookbook. It's a great place. Sorry about that. You just got very hungry and thirsty.
I had an apple. Okay. I don't like apples.
But I was at Cookbook.
I went to Cookbook.
No, this weekend.
It's a really, really cute market here in Los Angeles. It's kind of like McCall's.
I decided I wanted to go there to replan my spices. Okay.
I've been in a real, real spring cleaning moment.
It's the new year. I think at the beginning of the year, you feel like you want to shed.
You just want to get rid of a bunch of stuff, start clean and minimal. Um,
Right.
Yeah. For me, it's always first of the year. It's like we got to start new.
Have you heard that joke? It's like, a little too real this year, but LA does have seasons. It has two, Fire and Awards.
So I went to Cookbook to replan my spices. Yeah. And I got a little carried away in there because everything's so cute.
And fun and bespoke, a word you hate.
I don't like Atelier.
Right, but I thought you were adding bespoke to the mix.
I was just now.
Okay, well, they had these little apples. And they were so little. But not those little baby ones people have.
Not like Yodi, more like a Calvin.
And I thought they were so cute. So I got a few and then I also bought this new nut butter from there and it's so good.
Almond.
But it's from a farm. It's jarred there.
Yeah, because it sounds like duck butter.
Yeah. So anyway, I ate an apple today.
Yeah, probably.
More in the cutie, but more round.
Okay. You know what I'm saying?
Exactly. So you have to think of it round, but yeah, that size.
I have to cut it up. I don't like the sensation of biting into an apple.
So I cut it still into quarters.
Well, I have heard, or maybe you told me that.
An apple a day.
That's right. And the doctor, apparently. Very healthy product.
I ate one with some of the nut butter.
I'll just say I'm hungry now. I'm hungry now. Post-adrenaline dump. I have a couple of housekeepings.
We have a new fun game.
I kept calling it the armchair map. And I was saying, oh, it's kind of like a detective's map where one thing leads to another. And the way it works is there's a quote from somebody. So at this point, it will already have been out. So people have probably already seen it. But this past week had a quote from Sam Richardson on Alison Jones.
And then the next quote is Alison Jones on Julia Louis-Dreyfus. And then the third is Julia Louis-Dreyfus on question mark. It's a blank.
Yeah, that's where it's a fun riddle and a fun game. And it's on story. So you can like click and click the people. I think it's going to be fun.
You don't have to listen to the whole episode, but it will go directly to that spot and you'll hear the little clip. Yeah. And then next week, I'll start with that person. And then every week we're going to just snake through that little catalog.
We're not doing that. Oh, but I decided to name it. This is for our real hardcore listeners. Really get it. Get us. Armchair Lacuna. Because, you know, Lacuna, my favorite word. Even you don't know.
It means basically a missing gap.
Yes. Because like there's a lacuna in science. It's like that's the missing gap in science that people need to fill.
Sure. And this is a missing gap game.
It's going to be called Armchair Lacuna Matata.
And that's from Yuval. Yuval taught us about Lacuna and now it's my favorite word.
You make fun of them.
Yeah, that's scary.
Oh, boy.
Well, she's popping wheelies, but her feet fit. That's not really fair.
Yeah, I think it broke yesterday in our inner. Well, in our meeting, I could tell.
Good. I felt I felt that you had released something.
She did.
Emma gets credit for that. That's a that's a hard one to swallow. It's a hard pill to swallow.
I know. Yeah.
She is.
I love her.
That's okay.
It's also because it's dark early still and apparently six more weeks of winter because of Pugwani.
Yeah, something like that.
I never believed it until now.
Now everyone's talking about it like, yeah, it's bad.
No, he's a groundhog.
Punxsutawney.
Punxsutawney. You're right.
I've never seen it.
I know. It's one of those that just... My Indian parents.
What's the first movie you ever saw in the movie theater?
In 1979? Yeah. You were four?
They let you in?
He's your grandpa.
Right.
Right. OK.
Oh, my God.
There's so many things that are problematic. One is that isn't true. There's nothing to substantiate that.
And he had to tell his whole class about it.
Now that's true. So I'm going to teach that to these children. Wow.
Oh, my God. That's like more than a gay joke. That is also sexual. This guy is perverted. No. You know what it was?
For someone who's awfully spidey sensed, I have it.
I have that about him.
He is extremely sexual.
All the you have to admit this is one of those things is wild, too. That's a pattern.
Most of the.
Maybe this is a teaching moment for people.
Most of the people you think who are molesters.
Are not like they're this like creepy old creep in the corner. Like they're good at grooming and getting people to think they're charming. And it's interesting.
OK, that's an interesting take. But grooming is very specific and it's someone who's just like a creep in the corner is not going to be good at groom. Well, some of them may be.
Oh, God. But also, I think it depends on the age. Yes. When they're like 13 or 14 or 15, 14 or younger, if they said something sexual, that's obviously a teacher would be like, I mean, a parent would be like that person has to be fired immediately. But once you get into that 11th, 12th grade.
Then grooming becomes a different game.
He did not to you. You weren't the one he was grooming.
Did someone tell you?
I watched it multiple times, too.
And it's a little risky. It's all it's him. It's it's everything that makes him so great. Yeah. In just one one 10 minute thing. It's so good because Chappelle, you know, I know there's issues, right? People have issues with things he said and I don't agree with everything he said. But if you hear him interviewed and it's rare. Yeah. He's great.
You know, he is Muslim and he is very into being good.
And obviously in comedy that gets put on a shelf, but then you hear it as this like very subtle through line. He'll pop that in his spirit.
Yeah. And in this monologue, he, he, He comments on Trump's bringing up that people are eating dogs. The Haitians are eating dogs and cats in Ohio. And he says, you know, I'm from there. He's not like I'm from there. And that was really bad. Right. But he's just he said, like, that annoyed me because I'm from there and that's not what happened. This is what happened. Yeah.
And then he tells this very sweet and he's not trying to be self-congratulatory. It's like on its way to a joke. But he just slips in that he went to those restaurants.
Every day to eat and support those businesses. And like, obviously, I don't think that's the part people are necessarily taking, but it is what I took.
It was incredible. And then he pulls it all the way back around to empathy. Oh, God. Really, really, really something.
Yeah. I highly recommend watching that.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
He's just the best. I guess we should say, although it's not too prevalent, but just in case people are confused, we recorded that Wednesday as the fires were starting.
,,,,,,,,. P P P P P P P men ac ac ac ac ac ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, set, set, set, set, set, set, set, set.
P P P P P P 19實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a en in in in in in in a. A. A. A. A. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P.ר. P.
What for the actual firefighters themselves? What is getting exploited?
So, yeah, that's like bragging, I guess. Right.
But there's a hypocrisy there. That's what's triggering. Right.
And they were full of shit. But I think this one, these people, everyone in the city is not full of shit when they are saying this fucking sucked where we appreciate these firefighters. The city's sort of in sham.
But it's a natural thing to think. I mean, we've talked about it because Kristen's going to host the SAG Awards. As a massive virtue signaler. Oh, sorry. All she does is virtue signal and it's like, pull it back. She's hosting the SAG Awards. So we've, of course, had these conversations. What are we going to do? How are we going to do it?
Yeah, they're here.
It just has to be real.
I think that is a big point that no one really talks about. It's important for people to feel like they're contributing because otherwise they're like, well, then... What does it matter?
Can't do anything. Yeah. So you actually need to give people opportunities to feel like they have an impact.
I hope that's all you said.
I love you. Love you. Thank you for bringing my coffee.
Well, okay.
Real quick, because we're going to wrap this one up fast. Just a few facts for Chelsea. Okay. So it got pushed to the seventh. Bitcoin today.
Oh, it did not. It is at $97,274. You said she got a CO2 LASIK. You meant laser. That's a facial procedure to make your skin look young and fresh.
My posture is bad, is a fact.
And you gave me some back exercises to do. I did them once.
It's not good because it's also the seat. Does that have shoulder pads? No.
Do my shoulders look huge?
Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. Well, I also put my jeans smell.
Yeah. They just smell like they haven't been washed because they haven't because I learned you don't really have to wash your jeans, but I think you do have to wash your jeans because they start smelling.
That's fair. That we can do.
All right. Well, that's that.
Love you.
Or, yeah, if it's like, wait, they're kind of talking about it, but not really. That's why.
But also you are, this should be said publicly, one of the most generous people in this city. That is the truth. And I don't think people know it, but every time I'm at a gala, you might not be there, but your name is up there having donated an enormous amount of money. And I notice it and I always think, man, Chelsea. That's really nice. Thank you.
I like to share my life.
I was thinking that last night, because the Palisades have completely burned down. And I was like, think about the amount of sweaters and shoes, like the stuff that just is gone all of a sudden. And we do, I do, like, oh, I want this and I want this and I want to look like this. And it's so stupid.
Oh, that was Warner Brothers.
It should have taken a fraction of it.
Oh, my God. You hit with a waft of warm apple pie. Jesus.
Yeah. And please enjoy it.
Oh, that's a funny joke.
That's like something that would be on Connections.
Okay, Burroughs is where our friend went. I'm sorry, you're actually a rival of our friend. Oh, I didn't realize I was in enemy territory.
It is. It's very suburban.
We have the candy shop.
So overwhelmed, like two of the biggest things someone could experience at once. Yeah.
It would be so annoying if we did film this whole thing and then we were like, uh-oh.
Yeah, I'm trying hard. I got chin filler.
You're hitting a lot of different demos. We got those demos, which is great. My friend's mom is very into you. Oh, really? Yeah.
Painted yourself in a box there a little bit, which is great.
He was staring at your son thinking. We all were. Everyone at dinner was just staring at the baby the whole time.
Don't come out. That's not what I was going to say.
I was going to say what's different about him than the others.
It sounds like he's giving you permission to just be you.
Well, what should we call you? What did we earn today? I want to go with Delores. It's like Delores. Or Clove.
Happy fact check. You've been gone.
Right. I also feel like it's been a while.
Yeah, I don't remember how to do it. It's for the opposite reason, though.
I, last week, I tried to get everything done, all the edits, so that I didn't have to work on Friday. What were you... I just didn't want to. I just wanted the day. I needed a day.
And I did end up having to do a tiny edit in the morning, but it was fine. Oh, and I had a meeting. But I was done by...
Yes. And then you know what else I did? What? On Monday. Yeah. I decided the same thing.
And I was like, I'm going to just have to do extra on Tuesday, but it's okay.
And I really needed it. I didn't really realize it.
But I really needed like a little tiny chunk of...
Rusty, just getting to decide what I want to do and not think like, and at what point am I going to go open my computer and do X, Y, and Z. I think your skin is proof of it. I'm wearing new makeup.
And well, actually, maybe it's not the makeup, although today is the first day I'm wearing this new makeup.
I have also been using vitamin C serum. Which does brighten your complexion.
Yes. And I used to use it, but I stopped all my stuff when I went to my new... When you had your hard reset. When I had my hard reset, the goddess at Corrective Skin Care, I like just stopped everything and just did my basic, basic regimen with her. But then I was like, ooh, I'm going to dip my baby toe in the water.
A little bit. Yeah. And so far...
No, no. I've done vitamin C for like a week.
No, but she's cool. She's cool with it.
Vitamin C serum is great.
They do. I mean, it's good to wear sunscreen if you're going to use vitamin C serum.
No, but actually I am a little nervous. So there is this little thing on my face here.
And we don't think it's... A pimple. Oh. So now I'm a little anxious that it is some sorry world, that it is something that might need removal. Okay. Now, if I need it removed, I did think this all through. It was like, what if I have a Band-Aid on my face for like two weeks?
I... Look, is it okay, really, if I have to get this removed and I have to have a Band-Aid on my face for two weeks? I think we're going to have to figure something out.
I can't. I can't even perform in life. I'll have to be in my room for two weeks.
Oh, wear something over my face. Or your haircut. Okay. Like a wig, but it's in front of my face?
Oh, my God. That's right. I had it. It wasn't chemical.
I wore my hair. I was like really wearing it like this.
I guess, okay, fine. I guess I'll do that if I have a band-aid. Okay. Maybe. I don't know. Oh, speaking of, big revelation since the last time we spoke. Oh, shoot. I think I may have cut it. We talked about hats. I do think I cut it.
We talked about hats. Didn't make the cut. Because I don't wear hats ever.
But since we talked about it, I've worn a baseball hat twice.
Okay, I like it because I feel like a different Monica when I wear it.
It's a completely different identity.
She's, no, she's very, what's this face?
No, it's not, it's not so much over it as like, I'm just so chill, right?
And was it a fancy place?
It had really good. Okay. That's the place that Erica, Jess, Laura, and I fled to when we got kicked out of Barton Springs. Oh, really?
So cute and tasty as hell.
It's gorgeous and it's green.
And we went to Dairy Queen in it.
You can't pay. You got two steaks.
That is the universe giving a big old wink.
Oh, okay. That reminds me of two. Okay. That reminds me of something. It has been a long time.
But pause on that. Pin in that.
Um, Let's talk about paying and stuff.
When I first started working for you guys, you know, I only had so much dollars in my pocket.
And I was coming off a soul cycle and stuff.
But we all would hang out as a group and then we'd go to dinner. Yeah. And I always felt like this is ridiculous that they're paying every time. I think it's bad. And then, you know, people would offer and I would offer. Yeah. And I think sometimes... when you're in the position of paying, you feel like it's a just like gesture of an offer, right? But it's not. You tell me more.
I think now I'm on sort of the other side of this and I do also struggle because I want to treat my friends to things. I also understand what it's like when they're saying, please, please let me pay. I know. And I, cause I'm like, you're just, I think you're just saying that cause you want to be a polite, good person.
But actually what I do know from me is you, if you let someone pay every single time, you end up feeling like a mooch.
And I like this. Yeah. Yeah.
I think that too. But what, what there is a risk of is a power imbalance does start, can start forming and
Hence, Tom telling me that you got to make sure you're... I think for different people, resentment's on both sides.
You know, there can definitely be a, I've done so much for you.
And now... And you aren't doing that. You know, whatever. I think humans, even though we think we're bigger than that.
Yeah. I think it's tricky.
Like you want to feel equal to anyone in a relationship, French, anything, you know? And so if one person, again, it's tricky because I feel the same as you. I'm like, I am happy to pay because I also don't contribute in many other ways that these other people are contributing. So to me, it's all equal. But there is something about finances for people that make everyone go bonkers.
I have a friend who does well, but also has times of not being, you know, struggling a little bit.
And she is actually like if I for out to dinner, she'll she'll definitely offer. And I'm like, no. And she will just say, thank you. I really appreciate it.
Because she also understands like, yeah, we just spent this dinner talking about.
Yeah. That would be kind of crazy for me to be like, OK, yeah, we'll split it in half now. Yeah.
It's just tricks. But money makes relationships complicated.
It really does. I hate that. But I think it's real.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
P P P P P P 19實, ac, ,, ,, ,, ,, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and a and P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P G generæ græ græ græ græ græ grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà grà g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, gr, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g
,,,,,, I was at a stop light ready to cross. An unhoused person touched me.
Yeah. And it was really creepy and I really didn't like it. And then when I told Jess, he said, Thiener?
That was a big update of mine. Yeah.
Well, do you want to tell me any of your updates?
The one you taught us about here. You said people die.
Do you need to be in it or can you just go?
Of course, all of yours are.
Okay. Well, yesterday. Yeah. I relearned Mahjong. Rachel, Anthony, Allison, and I used to play Mahjong a lot.
Way back in the day. And now it's like hip. Like everyone's playing Mahjong.
Kristen's been doing a Mahjong thing.
American Mahjong is is the one that like Jewish women.
And that's the one that's taken off. But there's an Asian one. It's originally Chinese Mahjong is. But this is different. And it's so fun. But I had forgotten. I completely forgot how to play. But I felt like annoyed that it was back in. It's like in vogue.
And I was pre. Yeah. So.
It's. It's so complicated.
But in such a fun way. I think you'll like it. Oh, really?
I mean, there's parts you're not going to like because there's a lot of pomp and circumstance.
Yes. There's a whole way of like the way you set up and then you like push your wall out. And then the way you deal is very specific. And then you do this thing called the Charleston, which is a way of passing. Hmm. And yes. And then you have a booklet. It's a new one every year. Oh. The National Mahjong League puts out a new card every year. Oh, wow.
And so each card has like many, many lines of variations of what you're basically trying to make on your board.
And it's so fun. And you play with tiles?
And obviously I bought a set.
Yeah, but actually mine's a little cheeky.
Yeah, the winds have... Winds are a part one suit-ish of the tiles. Mine have mermaids on them.
So anyway, I... I was really reinvigorated by it. I didn't win. We played two games and I did not win.
That is not sitting well.
Rachel grew up playing Mahjong. She's been playing for 27 years. Right.
And her mom plays in tournaments and stuff.
And so she's the one that taught me and then she taught us yesterday, which was really fun. But also what I think I want to do. I feel bad because Amy listens to this show religiously. Shout out. Hi, Amy. Amy was there last night as part of the learning group.
Me. Oh. I did with, it was just Laura and Amy and Rachel. Oh, okay. And then I think what I'm going to do to get ahead is have another group.
No, just so that I, I'm playing double.
And with, with another, with Elizabeth as the teacher. So just in case there, Rachel and Elizabeth have different techniques. I want it all. Okay.
Anyway, that's my update.
That's my big update. Okay. This is for Dove. Great episode.
Beautiful episode. I love her.
For people who don't remember, that was Seth
That blondes have more fun because they're fairies.
Where do they originate? The bloomer, the Turkish dress, the American dress. Oh, this is kind of a ding, ding, ding to Mahjong.
Multiple locations. Or simply a reformed dress are divided women's garments for the lower body. They were developed in the 19th century as a healthful and comfortable alternative to the heavy constricting dresses worn by American women. They take their name from their best known advocate, the women's rights activist, Amelia Bloomer.
It's like a bloomer is like shorts. Yeah.
The name bloomers was derogatory and was not used by the women who wore them, who referred to their clothes as the reform costume or the American dress.
The bloomer costume caught on among some white middle class women who sought, quote, dress reform as an integral part of the fight for women's equality in the mid 1800s.
Ew. No, I don't know what it is. Oh, my God. Ew. That was so, I like saw it. I saw it.
Does having lots of drinks around you mean you have ADHD? No, not necessarily.
It could be the result of many things, a busy lifestyle, forgetfulness, unrelated to ADHD, or simply a preference for having multiple options available. Okay, the gooey duck, which she brought up, they gooey duck hunt or whatever, gather. Rob, can you bring up the pick? It's a wild-looking, disgusting clam.
No. And I like seafood, but uh-uh.
Native to the coastal waters of the eastern North Pacific Ocean, from Alaska to Baja, California.
Oh, my God. Typical lifespan of 140 years.
It does. Ew. Gross. It looks like a...
Well, that's the clammy part, I think. That's the gooey.
Or that one's cut. Sorry. Excuse me. That one's circumcised.
I mean, if it's if it's clams, I guess you boil them.
Wait, this says the shaft can be one meter, three feet.
It's the largest burrowing clam in the world. And as we said, one of the longest living animals of any type. Wow. Oldest has been recorded at 179 years old. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I feel like it's not good to eat these. You could be cutting off.
I guess that's true. But you're also, if you ate a 50-year-old geoduck, you're cutting off. Yeah, like you're really prematurely.
Okay, Disney's music label, Disney Music Group is home to Hollywood Records.
That was a fact. Queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at but do not depict same-sex, romance, or other LGBTQ plus representation. Or this says harassment, abuse, or targeted provocation of gay people.
If you want. Do you think you are? You're not queer bait.
Yeah, but back then, anything having to do with... Yeah, anything... Anything gay. Adjacent to gay was... Remember when Gap... Do you remember this? And maybe that was just my gen. For a while, like wearing Gap, Gap stood for gay and proud.
Yeah. So it's like you weren't like if you wore that, people would say gay and proud.
But that was before. Now, isn't that so funny? Just not an issue.
Speaking of, real quick. Yeah. What I am noticing, maybe we already talked about this. If we did, I'm really sorry. But it's so funny to me watching ER. Yeah. What was so important back then and what was like top of mind fear wise?
There are so many episodes about AIDS. Really? So many storylines.
Che Che, this four year old boy died of AIDS. It was horrible. He was so cute.
Wow. I mean, good for them for trying.
Oh, there's a woman involved.
She hits a lot of markets. It's kind of funny. Anna was over watching our Sunday night shows before we recorded. And I said, oh, we're having Dove Cameron this week. And she was like, oh, my brother loves Dove Cameron.
It was a big non sequitur.
What year was that? 90s? Yeah. Yeah. 90s. 90s was a really big time for AIDS.
So different. I mean, do kids even know about AIDS now?
I mean, I was so scared of AIDS. It was in my prayer.
I didn't know. I just knew it was a scary thing. So part of it was no cancer AIDS. Yeah.
But you were an intravenous drug user?
Thank God. Yeah. I really thought you did.
Yeah, you could have got HIV from that.
I mean... Yeah. And for a while, remember, there were like rumors you could just get it from drinking out of someone's glass.
It was so bad. I know. And then this huge stigma, I mean, definitely did not help with gay stigma.
Yeah. Big AIDS, you know. I don't think he'd mind me saying it. I know I told you, but I think. So on one of the episodes, there was a young man who had hiccups.
Yeah. He had hiccups and then it was really fine. It was nonchalant. It was nothing. It was silly. He was getting married to his fiance. She was there, too.
And then they just do a scan just to it's fine. But we're going to do a scan. And then there was some. Like some lung thing or liver, something that meant he had AIDS. Oh. And Jess has this hiccup issue.
And so I saw this and I really was like. Did you call him immediately? Yes. Well, it was at night and I thought I need to sleep on it because I think this is going to be a hard conversation. But I also think.
I'm like, what if I was meant to watch ER to save Jess? Right, right, right. And so the next day I did call him. I don't normally call him on the phone. Yeah. And.
Yeah. Well, and he should be. I said, hey, you know, it's not a big deal, but I just I was watching this episode of ER and this happened. It was AIDS. And he just like was quiet. And he said, I get tested. I said, OK, well, just make sure you're continuing to get tested. Right.
Anyhow. Are you queer baiting or what?
Yeah, you flirt with everyone.
I don't either, but I'm not the recipient, so I can't say.
Maybe some people might say that you were. Yeah.
I know. But it's like, maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you lost that right when you got married.
He's brilliant. All right. Well, that's it for Dove.
Me too. I hope everyone listens. And if you listen, pass it on.
All right. Love you. Love you.
When you would have sexual partners, did you feel like, sorry, this is so personal, but what did you feel after the fact? Were you like, I didn't like that. I don't like sex anymore or I'm ruined or I'm fraudulent. What were the feelings?
Yeah. It's a weird cycle.
Yeah. Are you skeptical when you walk in?
I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater from me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
Oh, my goodness. That sounds nice.
It's pretty. It's effective. It's efficient.
But also anger is helpful. If you take away anger, you have to make room for compassion. And that is very hard to do. It's much more gray.
You weren't caring for yourself.
Yeah, I mean, you've come up multiple times on this show from people you've helped. We had Prince Harry on. You opened your doors to him.
You are someone who extends yourself. And you said your mom did it, too. So I assume there's also a deep knowing because she did that as well.
But you're known to be very generous.
I know, but that's come to bite you a little bit. Cause you don't like calling anyone for help and everyone needs to call someone for help every now and then.
She might have believed this, whether she knew or didn't know. You can start believing a story. I think we talked about that with Carrie. In some ways, I think everyone just believed it.
Oh, do you think this is blue? No. Yeah, what do you think it is? Oh, no, it's purple for sure.
Yeah, we just had Morgan Freeman on and he did not want it. He did not like the air either.
You can't do it. Who else?
I would imagine you don't want to be a giant because you're already tall. It's surprising you still have it because you're tall.
The Queen Bee is tricky because it does sound like you're talking about Beyonce.
It's going to get tough.
What are you seeing? What color is my face to you?
But nothing really happens.
It's like reading the diary in some ways.
That's a good answer. I like that.
I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong. Hi, Monty. Happy birthday.
Oh, because you've been very... Okay, first of all, we're not together. You're in Mexico City.
That's a great movie. Yeah.
Oh, what a movie. It's such a movie.
Yeah, but then Little Women is a period piece.
Yeah, they've done stuff together.
Oh, I'm so happy to hear it. I was very scared for all of you guys. And we came up with a plan B in case I figured there's no way.
Yeah, I thought, you know, we were on it. Rob and I were on a text and we're trying to figure out, I guess we'll just come on and say Happy New Year and tell people you're sick and you'll be back.
Yeah. So then I thought maybe I would do 50 facts about Dax.
I know I can do it. But so maybe I'll save that for another day.
It's 50. How do you feel?
Oh, no. No. Apart from health, how are you feeling about your second half of a century that I'm entering?
Yeah. And they aren't brushing teeth.
OK, I went home for Christmas to Duluth, Georgia. You know, that's also a weird thing. This was sort of the first trip. I didn't refer to it as going home.
Like I'm going to Georgia to visit my family.
I mean, home is where the heart is. But also, I think like I just we've talked about this before, but every time I land here in L.A., Yeah, I I'm home here.
Yeah, I'm a cookie boy and an L.A. boy. And I visit my parents in Georgia. Huh.
God. Yeah. Now I feel sacrilegious. Like it's not it's still a huge part of me. But I guess I'm sort of coming up, not coming up, I guess, because let's see what this year, this year I will have been here 15 years.
Not half my life. But I was in Georgia for two. Twenty two years. So, I mean, I'm about like in a in seven years, I'm going to have reached the same point.
So you you have lived in California longer than you've lived in Michigan. Isn't that weird?
You love percentages today. I love it.
And it was lovely. You know, I'm always trying to figure out the right amount of days.
Where I am enjoying myself. It's relaxing. I'm getting time in with the family, with friends. But I don't overstay into the point where I become cranky, cranky, cranky. And I did pretty good. I think it was like I think it was like a day and a half. Of quankiness.
No, the first days are great. Like, that's the thing. And then I and I feel so good and everyone's so happy. And it it feels like, oh, I could I could like live here again, probably.
in this house and then five days is i'm starting to turn i'm starting to call it my parents house you know things things are changing um yeah because so i my mom got me this necklace from my gift guide um it's a shark oh you probably can't well that worked out absolutely perfectly because i bought you the same necklace and it got lost yes and so you got me a different one
Yeah, I would have to return one. And then that would be a really crisis of conscience.
I know, but I send her links. So it's not like... She came up with it, although in some ways you just got it off the gate.
Yeah, that's true. But anyway, I got the shark. I love it. And I was wearing it. And my mom said she was like, oh, it looks so nice. Why did you pick? Why did you pick a shark? And I said, oh, because I'm a shark. I'm a shark when it comes down to it. And I said in business. And she said with your parents, too, sometimes.
And then I just looked at her like this.
You want to see a shark?
It comes down or up? Well, I guess both.
That's a New Year's resolution for me.
Ooh, eviscerating the prey. That's me.
What are your, do you have any resolutions?
It's been out for a while, Monty. Oh, no.
I also have sort of different buckets, but I also have very tangible ones. I think tangible ones are the ones that are best, like they're the highest level of succeeding. Yeah. Like Max's resolution is to learn how to do a split.
We said that was a great resolution. And he was surprisingly kind, like sort of flexible.
And he's a little taller than you. Well, I don't know. Not on your birthday. Today is not. Today is not.
That's a great one. That also feels it just feels really nice and luxurious.
It's not. But you could do a peel, a light peel.
It's such a good encapsulation of you in general. You're like, I'm this masculine Midwestern guy and I'm leathery. But really, you're not you.
yeah just own it yeah i have a skin one too um it's to restore the skin barrier on my legs and that means to lotion every day oh okay skin barrier is what it is technically because my the skin barrier on my leg legs are a bit rough um
Again, it's just like the first five days, it feels so freeing. It's like, oh, I don't have to think about that. And then start feeling itchy and you need it.
Well, that's very nice. I mean, it's been a journey. When I was looking, I looked through all my pictures from 2024 to do a post. And I can say, like, the beginning of the year...
was bad really bad really really really bad skin okay i guess i'll shout this out i have so people know about my witch but i have an i feel i feel guilty but i gotta be honest i have a new person and she's not a witch she's a real woman um right and no powers she doesn't have powers she has skill
The place is called Corrective Skin Care.
I know, but you don't have adult acne. I hate that phrase.
I know. It's almost an onomatopoeia.
I'm going to have I'm going to be dealing. I'm going to have that. But no. So you don't have you have different issues. I don't. I think she is really amazing. Corrective skin care is very, very amazing at clearing acne. And then also making like she does light peels and stuff. Anyway, she she has changed my face for sure and helped it so much.
And I have a routine and I use a couple of her products and I also ice my face morning and night. That's a pro tip.
I think that's helped a lot.
No, no. Because you know why? She lives in Orange County and now she only is there one day a week, even in Santa Monica. So it's getting it's like.
We really got something. Although I, I, you know, a resolution I had once was to be more positive. And I think I've done that. And I look at going to Santa Monica as an adventure. It's like going on vacation, but like a bad, like kind of a bad one, like the one you're on.
Yeah. So but I plan it well where I plan a dinner with our only friend who lives on the west side. Sometimes she can't do it, which is rude. Then on my own, I'll go to dinner if that's the case or I'll go work somewhere. I will say that when I had my Tonka, that was that was me. I don't want to give too much details, but I was in Santa Monica.
That's a real metaphor. Also, like keep the wasps away.
Okay, that's, yeah, that's enough.
Ooh, exciting. Okay, so I have to restore the skin barrier on my legs with lotion. I realize I do have a kind of tick. Like I pick at my legs a lot.
And so they're kind of really messed up. So I got to restore that. And then I want to, I've journaled two days now. Oh, you have? Yes. Okay. It wasn't even a resolution. I didn't write it down, but I found a notebook and I've done it for two days.
Yeah. Wow. And you did it. Congratulations.
Oh, I like that. I'm impressed that you knowing you are. Um, that you aren't paranoid about your journals. Like I am. So I want to lock on it. It doesn't have one. It's like a nice journal, but I'm afraid somebody is going to open it and start reading it. I live by myself.
So the risk is low, but I am like, I'm kind of consumed by that. I thought, should I rip the, should I write it and then destroy it?
Do you censor yourself because of that or no?
You know, you're really only comfortable with them doing it after you die, though. Right.
That's true. You don't have any deepest, darkest secrets that you don't want anyone to ever know. I do.
I'm OK. My new plan is the next morning I'm going to rip the old page out and light it on fire.
It'll be the most boring one. Probably.
It's a twist in the series. It's kind of cool.
I'm burning it. Because I think for me, the purpose of the journal is potentially different than yours. One is just to get back in the habit of writing.
And two, it's to release. It's not to document. It's more emotion. It's more about feelings than what is happening. Right. So I think I'm kind of okay with burning it because it's just like I'm giving that up to the universe. I'm releasing that. I don't want to reread it.
I think it's going to be obvious.
At work, at Armchair Expert.
Yeah, I probably I'm probably just going to burn it. But I I think it's good. I actually I think it's more like making the bed, which I don't do. But now I kind of see the value. It's it's you've in the morning you've accomplished something. You did something. You wrote some stuff down.
And, like, if that's a goal to write some stuff down every day, then you've already done something positive for yourself. And you can, like, whatever happens the rest of the day, one thing. You accomplished one thing.
Oh, no. I think that should be a. No, I think that should be a resolution for you that you make her side of the bed, too, as a generous act.
Yeah, I understand. I understand where it comes from.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The only the only time I make my bed is if I am leaving for out of town. I make it and that I only started doing that because Callie once told me we were in high school. We were young and I think we were going somewhere and she made her bed. And she was like, yeah, I like to if I'm going on vacation, I have to clean my room and make my bed and everything in case I die.
But yeah, in case she dies and then people like, you know, are coming in there. She it's like it's a clean slate.
It's more for, like, what will happen for the people. Like, they'll come in her room. It needs to be in order for them.
Oh, no. OK. That's really bad. Knock on wood. OK.
Oh, my goodness. That's so cool.
Oh, I love that. Well, I'm proud of her, but also I'm. proud and shocked and impressed and shocked that you are comfortable with In that environment, letting someone exactly letting someone steer you above earth, really. And yeah, so that's good.
Yeah, you would have. Wow. Okay, great. Well, that sounds wonderful. I'm glad you guys got to do that.
My God. That's so sweet.
Yeah, she's pretty perfect. Okay, I have a couple facts.
I do too. I mean, he's just like the walking representation of glass half full. Like he turned, he really turned his some very traumatic events into something he could, you know, be proud of.
Yeah, me too. Me too. Yeah. He's really special. When I was home, I drove past his studios. Well, the exit studios. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I did it. I said I'm home.
OK. Turns out. It's just where I'm not.
All right. OK, now he mentioned the arousal template. He said that set from around three to seven ages, three to seven. Yeah. So there's a belief that each of us has a sexual arousal template, a map in the brain of what we find sexually appealing.
Although researchers do not fully understand how or why the various things to which we're attracted appear in our arousal template, it is clear that by the time we are four to six, our arousal template is largely in place, even though we are not yet sexual. It is also clear that as we age, elements can be added to our sexual arousal template, but not eliminated.
Yeah. But it makes sense. It's like why one person is interested in one thing and others are not.
Yeah, it does. I don't know if. You're biologically like drawn so much as what you're exposed to kind of becomes your default. We're all trying to be as safe and happy as we can be. So whatever is giving us individually that feeling we're going to chase. And yeah, that's not the same thing for everyone. Right.
OK. Cities where black people are thriving because we were talking about Atlanta, my home. Yeah.
According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the top 10 are Washington, D.C., Austin, Texas...
Yeah, this is in order. This is ranked. Number one is D.C. More than Atlanta? Should I go 10 to 1? Wow, too late now. Damn it.
Yeah. Atlanta's number five.
D.C., Austin, number two. Number three, Provo, Utah. Shocker. Number three is Poughkeepsie, New York.
No, sorry. Three and they're tied. They're tied. Okay. Provo and Poughkeepsie are tied for three and four. Atlanta is five.
Six is Oxnard, California.
Oh, no way. Yeah. Oh, cool. Seven is San Antonio, Texas. Eight is Raleigh, North Carolina. Nine is Baltimore, Maryland. And 10 is Ogden, Utah. Utah has two.
Well, hold on. This is broken down into median household income among black residents. Percentage of black households that make one hundred thousand dollars or more a year. Percent of black residents with a bachelor's degree or higher. Homeownership rate among black residents. Unemployment rate among black residents. So that's the factor. Yeah, it doesn't give population.
That's not the lowest, though. What's the lowest?
Well, it also this this Atlanta Journal Constitution is really a newspaper because there's also this really cool map. I'm I'm impressed and I'm proud of my home. OK, now what's the Chitlin Circuit rebrand name? You were like it's rebranded to something. And you're right. Urban Theater Circuit.
Yeah. Well, sure. We'll agree with whatever he will do, whatever he wants.
We've talked about this with Bobby Lee. So go back in the archives and you, Dax, you go back in the archives and listen to that episode.
Yeah. Well, actually, I think I actually cut a lot of the crisscross applesauce talk out, which I'll probably have to do again right now. No, I won't. I understand the conundrum because I agree with you. There's nothing inherently negative about sitting that way.
Yeah. I guess it's just a way to make a group that already feels different even feel more different.
But that one specifically or just in general?
Oh. Well, also because I actually do think if you were really meditating correctly, I'm not sure if that's how you sit. I think you're supposed to sit like not crossed like that necessarily. Like your legs are doing something crosswise.
Yeah, they're cross, but they're not Chris.
Sure. I mean, I think there are overcorrections all over the place. For me, it's just one. Why would you do anything that might make someone feel a little bit awkward or like they are standing out in a way they don't really want to when there's another option?
And they might also not like I don't. Well, look, I don't now, but I bet I bet when I was like seven and we were in class and the teacher said, everyone sit down Indian style. I'm sure I wasn't like, oh, that's really rude and doesn't they don't understand.
That's the actual thing underneath feeling. Yeah, that's the feeling is, oh, they're talking about my thing that I somehow have to own. But I don't even know what this is either. Yeah. So, yeah, now House of Pain episodes. So there was 254, but then they revamped it in 2020. And now there's 362 episodes, which is just wild.
Absolutely wild. And that's it.
I know we're so lucky and we're so appreciative to all the armchairs who've stuck with us and are going to continue to stick with us this year. We hope we're going to bring a lot of fun to the table this year. We didn't tell people, which I regret, but we did a bingo. We have another day of bingo. It's tomorrow, but by this time it'll pass.
But we did a fun game on Instagram that was a scavenger hunt bingo. And we're going to do more fun things like that this year and more like community building.
You have to find the timestamp of...
of three like a bingo card basically like hold on i'll pull one up yeah there's a three by three bingo card and you've got to make a row but it's like for experts which guests did dax appoint himself as part of the guest personal security team so you like have the answer and the time stamp oh so you would go back to bill gates and figure out when that was said exactly
Yes. She designed it. Her name is Sophia. She is interning for us. And she was a prodigy. She is. She was recommended to us by Adam Grant. And she's at Wharton. And we don't really deserve her, but we're going to take her.
Here we are. And I've put her on some fun tasks and I think we're going to have a lot of fun this year.
Really? Very, very special. I had an inkling before it would have that extra sparkle on it. And it did.
How did you handle it before you went to therapy? Like, what were you telling yourself?
You can also just say it, but sometimes you can't. Sometimes you can't.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
It's just like take care of yourself and get through it.
Sounds like they're carrying so much duality there. Like even the fact that there's this mafia thing and it's all regimented, but then an art professor comes in and everyone has to stand up. Like that's already blowing my mind that they revere it.
My favorite movie of all time.
Are your brothers pretty?
Wasn't it called like The Class?
But she's like, do you know what I saw today?
It gives you a lot of empathy. As you said, when you hear about these stories of people, it's so easy to say like, yeah, they're just bad.
Because you're the same.
Yeah, that's what happens.
I'll be honest, because that's what we do here. When I first saw him, I was like, oh, I don't know who that is. And then as soon as I saw his face, I was like, oh, I do. He's in everything.
I know we're in career mode, but I do have a question because based on this whole interview. I wonder what your opinion is on this. Have you seen Adolescence yet?
It's fantastic. It is exploring the plight of young boys and violence and insult culture and how all this happens. I was like, how do we fix this? And I don't know that you have the answer, but you've experienced a lot of this stuff. And I wonder, do you have an opinion on that?
Confidence, I guess. That's how you get it.
You kind of boxed yourself in a corner.
Watch the new Nolan movie.
You're late for the listener. 23 minutes. Yeah, I would say more than just late.
That was the plan for the day.
You knew you were setting it at 11.15?
Yeah, that happens. I'm jealous.
Actually, I was five minutes late and I was stressed. And then I'm running in stressed. And then you're not here.
No. No, I was working. We had a call.
We had a merch call, Easter egg. And then after that, I only had 30 minutes to take my shower and put on my makeup and get here. Okay. Turns out.
And he was in King Richard.
That's all right. Did you listen to the podcast I sent you yet?
I guess Easter egg again. There's so many Easter eggs already.
Wow, that's cool. Well, you were in New York. You were probably eating.
You know what it might mean?
It might mean that that's what your body really wants to be at. And you're kind of always like, A little under what your body wants.
I think I feel like that a little bit. Like, if I just don't... Hold the reins? Yeah. If I'm not, like, actively, like, thinking about sort of what I'm eating and doing my farmer's carries and my wogs and all this.
Then... I think my body at this stage in life wants to be at a certain number. And I'm like active at keeping it a little bit under that. Yes, yes. But I think that's what it really naturally just wants. Should I just give it what it wants?
The Chelsea Market, yeah.
No, but that sounds like something they do at a Michelin restaurant.
Oh, I haven't been there in a while.
Oh, this is a ding, ding, ding.
This is a ding, ding, ding to a story I've been wanting to tell for a minute. David Chang.
Okay. Because when I went to Napa with Callie, we got to the airport, Burbank Airport. Dream of all dreams if you live in L.A. to fly out of the Burbank Airport.
I know. It's a blessing. You're in and out so fast, especially because I carried on. Can you imagine? I can't. Oh, and anyway, it was so exciting. We get to the airport. We get to the vestibule. What's it called?
No. Terminal? Terminal. Thank you. Okay.
Sometimes you just have to put in a word.
I think it could count.
Anyway, we got to the terminal. Vestibule. Terminal sounds deathy.
Okay, we get there and Callie's like, oh, I think that's that fancy chef. And I was like, oh, it's David Chang. Now we've interviewed David Chang.
Additionally, we've also like been in Spotify events with him. Like we've seen him over time. It's not, but I knew I was like, He is not going to know me out of context. So I'm going to like not say anything.
Yeah. But I, you know, it's kind of like, well, but I really don't want to get near him because I don't want this to be an awkward or like if he's like, oh, I kind of do recognize her. But.
And then, you know, we got called up. So we went. But so something happened and we got sent up there, but it was the wrong gate. So everyone was like in line and it was the wrong thing. And Callie and I were first. So the woman told us it was wrong. And so then I was like, oh, and I like look over behind to kind of tell everyone. And it's and he's there.
So then I felt I had to at that point kind of say, so I was like, hey. Oh.
It's so uncomfortable. And he was like, hey. And I could tell, again, I knew. I was like, I knew this was going to happen. He's going to kind of know he should know. That I'm not like a stranger who's saying hey.
But, and he was like, hey. How are you? And I was like, oh, I'm good. And then I just left. Or no, I said, how are you? He said, good. And then I just left. Or Callie was like, let's go. You know, she got me out of there.
She whisked me away. She had to step in. But like, I know, I don't know what happened. Clearly, I should have just been like, Monica from Armchair Expert. I know. It's just so easy to do that. But it felt... It's impossible. And I was so befuddled at the vestibule. And then we just stood on the side like idiots.
And then we get to the airport going home. And I was and she said, what if David Chang is here? I was like, he no, he probably already. I'm sure he came here for like one hour. Yeah, exactly. And then left. It's fine. And then we're sitting at the terminal gate and she's like, he's here. She's so excited.
They don't look like a real person.
Oh, no. So again, again, avoiding. And I managed to avoid this time completely until. So Callie's sitting at the window. I'm sitting at the aisle. All of a sudden, she just looks at me with this face. And I look over and guess who's sitting.
Ignore the whole time. Oh. I had to ignore him the entire. And he was like. Kind of having an issue with the bag. Well, he was holding a thing we think is bread.
And I wanted to know where the bread was from.
But I didn't. I just, I just like looked like to the right the whole flight.
It was so upsetting. And then she was like, do you want to switch seats? I was like, well, no, that's really weird.
Yeah, or his bread smelled. Not the bread.
Well, I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was in there.
But I did want to know. And I guess we made a plan that if for some reason there was another interaction. A third flight? If there was another interaction that I had, I could ask, oh, what you got in there? That was my line.
Is it Brad? Where'd you get it? We can't talk to him again.
None of us can eat at any of these restaurants or do any of this.
Guys, stop it. Why do all of you have this deep relationship with him and he doesn't even recognize me at the airport?
Yeah, like in the lunchroom.
It did feel like we were in the lunchroom.
Or we were at the mall.
Even after I decided, God, it would have just been so easy for me to say Monica from Armchair Expert. I didn't, I had the opportunity. I didn't do it again.
We saw him at the Spotify dinner.
We've seen him multiple times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously not as many times as the two of you have seen him.
Or I'm just not memorable, which is probably true.
I wasn't with you. It was awful. And I really want to know what the bread was.
Oh, you mean like the people you're with?
Yeah, you were talking his ear off. Well, I guess we have strengths and weaknesses. You talk a lot and I don't talk at all.
Yeah, I don't talk either.
All that school stuff is scary.
That is like a love interest. And what happens is you're talking to the kids at the restaurant and you're chit chatting. And then you just see like out in the distance, there's Boyd. And he's standing there and he does a little wave. And then you get up and you beeline and then you make out. Yeah.
That's how it goes. That's how it goes.
Adam was selected as well.
It's like, oh, phew. That's fun.
That goes to show, you know, we both were thinking. I said hi, though. I said hi. And then he said hi.
How dare you? How dare you twist this into that? It was, I recognized him, I said hi.
He should send me one. Why am I?
This is great. This is great. We were both. Hold on. I got to take a picture of that and send it to Cal.
Rob, are you being a rascal?
I can't believe you can text him like that. I can't even talk to him in real life.
Why didn't you talk to Monica?
Okay, well, it's hard to be a person.
Seventh grade, lunchroom.
Like a climate change. Oh, yes.
Speaking of New York City, when I didn't go to New York, this was really the opposite of Sim and the opposite of a MeCute.
So I was supposed to go. As we know, I didn't go because of Buddhism. Yeah.
I don't know if I should say. I won't say who. There's a person in this industry, not the podcasting industry, the entertainment industry, who I love. It's not Ben and Matt. This isn't, I think, potentially an available person. Oh, wow. Very, extremely attractive. Oh. I love him.
So... I was supposed to go to SNL when I was there.
Jon Hamm was hosting. So I was supposed to go to SNL with my friend Sally. And I didn't go, obviously, because I didn't go to New York. And she texted me the next day. She said, I met your boyfriend last night. And I was like, oh, Ben or Matt? And I was still upset about that, obviously. And she said, no, this person.
And he was backstage with her, like with where I would have been.
Yeah. And and at the after party. And she talked about the after party because she said he's like he looked kind of alone.
I know. Maybe it actually maybe.
No, that's what made it hard. I don't know. I don't know what happened. I think it would have been great.
We could maybe have this person on. There's a project.
There's a project coming up that I think we could potentially have this person on this show. Now, we will not say who it is when it happens.
Anyway, so I missed a huge meet cute opportunity. Yeah. And it like kind of like I think about it every other day while I'm mastering it. No, no, no.
That was a joke. But for real, it was sad.
It's the opposite. I'm having a lot of opposites of you and Boyd. It's really unfortunate. Really unfortunate. Anywho.
Oh, Vincent D'Onofrio, friend of the pod.
Oh, you know how I haven't been able to finish a book?
Yeah, all fours is the last book I finished. And I've been reading Intermezzo, ding, ding, ding, hats, hat riddle that we'll do later. I've been reading that since December and I have like a hundred pages left and I just can't do it. Like I can't do it. I stare at it on the nightstand and it has like, it has like- It's haunting you? Squiggles coming out of it, like brown squiggles.
I don't want to touch it.
So, you know, I have this block about reading. And then my friend Maddie, who's in town, she recommended a book. So I went to Skylight and I bought it. And then on the way out, there was another book there. Mm-hmm. that I grabbed last minute because it looked fun. I judged a book by its cover.
And I've read 130 pages in two days. Oh, really?
And I have high hopes that I'm going to finish it this week.
I think you would like it. Although it's fiction, you don't read too much fiction.
But it's called Atavists.
Yeah, and let me tell you- Oh, on the Pulitzer? Finalist.
The word atavism, coined by a botanist and popularized by a criminologist, refers to the resurfacing of a primitive evolutionary trait or urge in a modern being.
And it's all these short stories, but they're all connect. All the people are connected. Oh. And it's such a funny and interesting exploration of human behavior. Oh.
Yeah, you would like it.
Yeah. I mean, no. Some. Some naughty, some fringe, some horrifying, some beautiful. The gambit.
Strategic move often involving some kind of sacrifice intended to gain a future advantage.
Chess, politics, business, and even social interactions.
Oh, my God. Anyway, that was you don't think I've been beat down enough today. But it's all right. It's still it's the truth. I don't know words.
All right. Well, okay. Some facts. This is for Jon Bernthal.
Quaker values. Quaker values, often summarized by the acronym SPICES, are centered around simplicity, peace, integrity, community, equality, service, and stewardship. These principles guide Quakers' lives and their interactions with the world, emphasizing direct spiritual experience, inclusivity, and a commitment to social justice.
Community. Equality. Service. And stewardship. Something's happening when I'm saying S's recently. Are you hearing it?
I'm getting kind of anxious that I'm having like- You have a lisp? Like something is going on. Yeah.
Well, I guess depending on how.
No, you should. Quaker values.
Simplicity, peace, integrity, community, equality, service, and stewardship.
Those are really linked, I would say.
I think my worst spices are service. Okay. And maybe stewardship. Like you said stewardship's kind of like, what is it again? I don't really get it.
But if we're talking about, if we're getting more abstract about it, yes, I think I am a good steward of like people.
But I don't think of objects. But so, okay, maybe I won't pick that. Maybe simplicity for me too.
I don't live a very simple life.
No, there are times, especially since I've become Buddhist, that I've like... I had thoughts of like, yeah, what is all this? What is all this? Like we're just, there's so much noise and distraction and it could just be simple.
That makes sense. Yeah. You're just not going to be a Quaker.
Okay. Who was on the class?
It also sounds like Buddhism. Yeah.
All the good ones are the same.
Yes. Oh, my God. I've been meaning to bring it up to you. Oh, my God.
But he's, yeah, he's a powerful actor.
Great movie about religion.
But it is a horror movie. Yeah.
The girls were really good.
And it's, you know, kind of a crazy person, but his theories aren't that crazy. I mean, it's...
The girls. So it's two girls and him in the whole movie.
Yeah. They were great, too. I highly recommend that movie. Yeah, me too. Okay. The cast of The Class is Andrea Anders. John. Lizzie Kaplan.
Friend of the pod. Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Friend of the pod. Friend of the pod. Heather Golden Hirsch. We haven't met her yet. Sean McGuire. Not quite yet. Jason Ritter. Friend of the pod.
Those are, first live show, those are the regulars that I see. Well, Lucy punches in 13 episodes, but it looks like the rest are 19.
The current rubles to American dollars, one Russian ruble equals .012 U.S. dollar. 100 U.S. dollars is 8,403.38 rubles. Yeah, so 84 rubles per buck. Okay, the price of Bitcoin today is... Oh, this is a random Bitcoin update. Okay. 94,180.77, down 123. Yeah, but that's up.
Well, no, because today it's down negative 123.02. Oh, okay, just today.
It really is. Yeah, and the stock market. Good thing we're tracking it. Yeah.
it's very wild right too a lot of wildness out there it there is i just wanted to shout out his wife who works in a er trauma center oh yeah that's so cool it's so cool it's very er it's very the pit uh-huh and i i think that's admirable very admirable and she's probably living simplicity peace integrity community equality service and stewardship all the spices probably And that's it.
It's probably so good for a 13-year-old boy to have a little 3-year-old girl around.
Once you hear this interview and you hear his acting background, you're going to want to see that.
Oh, my God. What a story. His story felt like a movie.
adorable threesome of friends but you did open casting for that our friend anna who works with kristin she brings it up all the time we need to do open casting like mindy she's the only one so i really push back on the diversity thing because you're the only one putting out a real huge net and saying hey we're doing this it's not just the people in this city who's out there
Well, when you change up your whole life to start a new one for your children, stakes are really high. You want them to be safe. And then they're like, I'm going to go to L.A. and we'll see what happens.
That's what people forget. It's not that they're not coming here. They can't come here. You come here because you're providing a service.
Yeah. February of last year, I guess it was a year ago. There's Bob Dylan's there for sure.
Oh, one thing to add, maybe to take some guilt off and also just to tell people that's earned being able to reach back out and help other people or think about diversity. That's earned over time. You don't really get to do that right off the gate. As you said, you're kind of like, I got to prove myself for me first in order to get to that next step.
That's what we were saying. Sitting on the West side, being accepted by the group that you're always trying to get accepted by as a young person to reach that, even though, yes, it's fucked up, but it is real.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Yeah, you got it. You got to hook him. Back to Hogwarts and seeing pornographic images. Was it all encompassing when you were home? Were you like, oh, I want these boys to like me.
She's an older woman. Okay.
It was a teaching moment for Dax.
Feel free to write that in for something.
famously I know and listen to the episode oh the Matt Damon episode which was such good listening what a moment this is number two to that or I'll take it it can't be tied it's not tied but really before I was like I'm nervous I'm never nervous that's right the only other time was him because we had a little it's probably gone it's in the bathroom maybe no no I went to the bathroom there's a photo of you I'm so happy you used the restroom yeah okay good job
Well, it's like a rookie mistake. When you first move here, you're like, I got to be by the beach. So you move there and then it takes you four hours to get anywhere. I lived on the Westside at first. You did? Where'd you live? Barrington in Santa Monica. You know, that really cool hip part of town that's in the middle of nothing.
I would guess many, in fact, most people think that.
Oh, I also posted a picture and said, this is the face of someone trying to play it cool. So a lot of people had their guesses.
Professionally, you needed to.
kind of want to say yes there was a part of me that wanted to say yeah there's a real reason that i haven't and there's a reason nobody wants to have sex with me it's because i'm waiting for marriage but no i was just like no it's just hasn't happened but then it becomes a thing as monica explained to me where it's like now you pass some point where you're like oh my god people are gonna think this is weird about me were you starting to have any of those fears
Monica, I mean this seriously. Can you be Indian and live on the West Side effectively? Oh, my God. I love this question right out the gate. Let's get into it. It's very white. White.
Well, we can't all be 12 and fucking.
It was like a ticking clock at one point. I was like, it really is time. I wasn't like, I don't care who. Doesn't have to be the love of your life. That was similar to how I felt. I didn't need that, but I didn't want to have a random hookup. And then I was never in a relationship. So I was like, how am I going to do it?
White, as we would say. It's funny because I grew up in Georgia. Okay, so you might be used to the West Side Vibe. I am used to feeling like I'm the only person who's brown, but it almost gives me like, I mean, we're going to definitely get so into this type of conversation. Get right into it. I get a sort of high out of being one of the white people. Do you feel more special? A little bit.
Well, first, I mean, I... You are my number one get on this show. I'm serious.
Your walk is pretty good, too.
It's OK. Oh, it's coming back.
You know, he's annoyingly perfect. He's like the guy that is in school and you're like, oh, I bet he's like this and I bet he's like this and there's no way it's true, but then he is.
This is sounding totally made up.
I know. And he's pretty easy on the eyes. Yeah, he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It kind of feels like this is not a love letter to your dad, but it is sort of. You're made a show about basketball. And then Mindy Project was sort of for your mom. Yeah. You were an OB in that. Is that intentional?
Well, we did go to France and stay at Bradley's house for a night.
Exactly. UCB was like that for a long time, too, where you had to sort of choose your camp. You had to be a boy, basically, and funny or a hot girl.
Well, it's hard to see yourself on film, regardless of what you look like. I mean, even Kristen, she's like, ugh, I don't like that. She's perfect looking. And so... For her to say that.
She doesn't do that way about her. Surprisingly. You'd be shocked, actually. Because that wasn't the response. You were supposed to be like, I know it's absurd. Her hands are beautiful baby's hands. I spent a lot of time zooming in on her hands when I worked for her. And I was like, we got to Photoshop this.
And also, if that's the one thing, you got to take it. But do you still fantasize about men in the way that you did when you were looking at the boys?
Yeah, age is a factor. But also I think fantasy is a factor because I fantasized so much growing up that it can replace doing the real thing for me.
But I agree that they can't. replace friendships or that's the thing they talk about in therapy. Like my mom only has me. I'm her friend, but she's my mom.
Also Dunsmore, great place. Haven't been, but was proud of the reference.
Heard it's cool. It's great.
I love fashion. Love rom-coms. Love it all. And then another thing in common that I obviously want to talk to you about is the kids, because I have frozen my eggs. Good for you. I did it on air.
Yeah, we did a show. It did not go great for me. I got two mature eggs the first time and then I did it again and I got seven. So I have nine, which isn't amazing, but it is what it is. And when the fires happened, I was like, are my eggs gone? Because they were in Pasadena. And then I thought, how would I feel if... If they were gone, I'm not a person that knows I'm definitely having kids.
Were you like, I'm definitely going to be a mom in this life?
Has a hairy chest, but not too hairy. Not a perfect face. You don't want cookie cutter. It does have some character to it. Yeah, chip tooth.
Because we just talk about real stuff. So the headlines become mute and then you just get to know a real person. And you're always going to find something you like about a person. I think there's some exceptions.
Your son's in good shape.
Yeah, because they need to come over.
Yeah, exactly. But I think it's really incredible. The idea of doing it by myself really scares me. So I love seeing it.
No, but he lives in West Hollywood. You wrote the sweetest little post about him. Maybe it was for Father's Day where he comes and takes care of the kids or, you know, spins in the chair with them.
As parents, though, you don't need that.
You don't need your kids who are being assholes to in 30 years call you and be like, remember when I did that? I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm pretty petty. I think I would enjoy it to be like, thank you. Finally. That was really hard. I've been waiting.
Specific children, yes. But no, I am not someone who sees a baby at a restaurant and is like, oh my God, my ovaries are exploding. I've never had that. And neither did I.
Well, except for Delta. Delta's the only... Their kid... And Carmelo Anthony.
And Mindy's invitation to a dunk bar. But their kid, when I first came in, I started nannying for them. That's how I started here, is their second kid. And I babysat a lot. That's how I made money. But... That is the first kid that I thought, I understand what people are talking about, where they're just drawn. It doesn't really matter if they're mean to you. You still love them.
That is so nice that your daughter. It's a very special relationship. I feel very grateful for it.
Yeah, it's not like a secret. I love a sexy summer pass with Kate Hudson.
Do you know who was after her? Who? Ashley Olsen. What? I know. And then Kristen.
I'm still waiting for that windfall of the old Indian money to appear.
No, me too. We have to talk about this because I wonder if this is an Indian thing, maybe a little bit, because there's a big backlash in America against people with money.
Everyone hates billionaires right now. They're like, you're not relatable if you're rich. And I thought the goal was to become one of these people. I grew up hearing be successful. That means that. Yeah, we have a different playbook, I think. I think. So I'm not on board with hating. I mean, look, I don't like everything all these billionaires are doing. Well, billionaires are a different thing.
We're past that? Past that. It's 864.
Let me put my spectacles on.
Because you said we have a role reversal.
Yeah. You're in a jacket, which is weird because it's hot out.
Oh, you think they're different? That's really, really piecing. You don't think a sweatshirt and a jacket are different? I think a sweatshirt and a jacket are different, but I think a hoodie... Is a jacket. Is a jacket.
Oh, my God. Yeah. Why did you say that?
We don't know how this is ending. We do not know how this is ending.
That got me good. I thought it was going to be a riddle about a zipper.
For the thing Bill Gates made?
Oh, dining armchair on X base.
Sure. It doesn't take away.
Sure. I think we should. Do you want to tell people what happened to us?
A huge event happened to us.
So many previous guests.
He bought with your money.
She's Mindy's enemy now.
So you're able to now see.
That's so weird to me. Full masks.
But I would call the police. I wouldn't have got out of the car.
You have to be careful in these situations.
I don't even understand insurance, really.
And now please don't come back.
Rob, when you got here, did you check? Because, I mean, I'm shocked.
They didn't take liberty.
Went on a real adventure. Yes. Oh, man.
Anyway. Anywho. It's really bad.
Do people get barred for doing so well? They can't, right?
Sunday was the SAG Awards.
It went really, really well. Kristen killed it.
It went perfect. She did such a good job. Everyone hit all their beats. Yeah. And it was great.
Yes. There was a couple of technical things.
Well, like there was like a sound. There was like a little bit of on Adam's bit. The sound was out at the very beginning and I was annoyed by that, of course.
No, it went really smooth. I was very happy with it. And I think Kristen was, too.
Well, we don't know about that. We don't know. But it was. Yeah. Remember when I was in my gala era and I was buying all those dresses and you were in search of a gala? Yeah, I needed a gala to go to to wear all these dresses. Yeah. I didn't go to any real galas, so I had some dresses.
I was proud of myself because I do have a contact at Valentino, and I had reached out and said, hey, you know, I'm writing for Christmas for the SAG Awards, so I'll be there, and I'm going to do the carpet. Can I...
borrow something and she was like yes so she had sent me some stuff well no so she had sent me some stuff and i and it was all great but i i i had i did contrary action yes and i decided to wear something in my closet that i have not worn oh okay which was this dress from the gala era okay I was like, this dress has been sitting here for a long time. It needs to be worn.
You gotta wait. You gotta wait.
Yeah. And so I wore it, and I was very happy with it. And Jenny did my hair, and Simone did my makeup.
The whole team. It was really fun because I did this for Kristen in 2018. So it was very deja vu. Like we're in the same room, the same auditorium, all of that stuff, which was really fun. Same people. We were looking at old pictures. There's like all these Polaroids of Simone and Jenny and Nicole and me and Kristen and Marcel. And it's just, it was really funny and weird full circle because...
You know, when we did it last time, we had, maybe we were about to start the show, this show, this podcast.
Well, I don't know the exact.
Yeah. It was in January 21st, 2018. Yeah. Okay.
Anyway, we hadn't started this or we had maybe started some recording, but we weren't a podcast yet really. And so sometimes you get those rare moments where you're in the exact same place, but your life is so different and you can really reflect on that because of the And it was it was nice to see the like my growth. But yeah, so it was it was special to have that.
And it did remind me that that was such a fun job. like being around all those people and doing that and the energy. And yeah, it was, it was nice to sort of drop back into that and also see Anna in this position that I was in and her just like killing it.
It was, it was really, it was really nice.
Yeah. She, Kristen did such a good job.
Yes, Timothy was, he ducked into our area for a minute to take a phone call. And I walked in and he was just standing right there, which was quite fun.
No, I agree. It's honest to say I want, I mean, I think what people might be confused, I don't know. Maybe they think he's talking about fame, but he isn't.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that was exciting.
Great night. Great night.
Okay, this is for Mindy. Mindy. So exciting.
Yeah, we have been waiting for so long. Some people on my post, I posted a picture. that was teasing an episode and it was this one. Some people were right.
Oh, she does. At least not in the ones that I have heard. I definitely do. I feel lucky that my parents, they're actually not that traditional. They're both from India. My dad came when he was in his 20s. But his personality just very specifically is not traditional. He's like, I don't know.
So that was exciting. Okay. Really quick. Jordan, food poisoned. Was he food poisoned? Was he? Yes. Yeah. Well, it was Pizza Hut. He ordered pizza. He ordered pizza before game five of the 1997 NBA finals, also known as the flu game.
But also he, maybe he got meat on it and the meat was mad cow.
Okay, his trainer, Tim Grover, and friend, George Kohler, were with them when the pizza arrived. Grover said he had a bad feeling about the pizza. Jordan woke up at 2.30 throwing up and couldn't hold anything down.
Yeah, last time it said that.
Rush space in. But some rumors just say he was hungover.
The poison pizza is very, some people don't believe it.
Okay, now this I'm going to play. This is J. Mars Christopher Walken.
Yeah, they're both from Kerala. And my mom came when she was six. She grew up in Savannah. Coming over when you're six is major. Much different. But my grandparents, very traditional. And I got kind of lucky in the personality department because my dad was just like, just do whatever. He's just relieved that I'm out here. I'm doing well and I have money. Just being candid.
Funny, so funny. So he's married to... Yes. That's so crazy.
Still never been to a game, and I would really like to go.
Wow. They really look like twins. That's crazy.
Yeah. We still need a twin expert. Okay. Mindy made a remark about Olivia Munn investing in Uber in the first round. It was kind of a joke, but she did.
She did. She invested in Uber at a $290 million valuation when it was still a private company. And now Uber is worth, says $157.82 billion market cap.
Should I look up what Bitcoin is today?
Yeah, I think the joke's worth it. It's $88,195.61. It has been going steadily down since we've been reporting on this.
Look, as you said, we're just not that powerful, though. All we're doing is reporting. We're not causing.
My eggs are not burned by the fires. Yeah. But there were eggs from the same company or hospital that were in a different location that did have to all get transferred over.
He's just like, oh, my God, she has enough money to live and she doesn't need us anymore for that. So they don't care. And I think he kind of gets a kick out of it. There's people at his office that are like, oh. oh, I heard Monica say this about you. We also talk about them.
I'm fine with it. Okay. And the shots and the hormones for a year.
The retrieval, the cost.
And not only the cost, but like the... I don't know if I'll have as much if I had to do it again.
Scary. And yeah, I've been thinking more about it since Mindy and I, since Mindy chatted about her experience a little bit.
Yeah, she makes it look possible. She has three children.
Okay, because you are constantly telling me... That your house is bigger than my house. That my house is bigger than yours, which is... Outrageous. Now I am now scared. So what is yours?
Is there any extra, is it 43 something? Ooh, this might be like our IQs.
More than just the studio. No, I can't, because I can't come here and get water like you did for Click.
40? 4,345 square feet. Yeah, and that's what I saw in your plans. So we got an extra 45. Yep, you have a bigger house than we do. Okay, but you understand like... That's crazy what you're saying, right? We really can't agree on this, that the fact that you have a main house with bedrooms. Yeah. A guest house. Yeah. A garage with an office and a gym.
And then the attic and the garage.
Yes. And we say he invented the simulation. So all of us are a member of his sim. But we say gross, bad, bad, bad stuff. I just talked to one of my friends from home and her mom was like, Monica, I've been listening to you and I'm going to have to talk to your mom. Then I got really self-conscious. I was like, oh yeah, my friends' moms, that's who I'm bringing shame to for the most part.
Only if they're a blind person.
Would you rather? Would you rather? By this property or mine?
Okay, let's imagine. Take out the yard.
And can you- They won't even come look at it.
All you have to do is look at the pictures and then you see 80 different places to sleep, live, dream, cry. There is no question. There is zero question that this estate you have here is more valuable than mine.
You spend equal amounts of time throughout this whole property.
But I don't own it. I don't have any. When someone comes to buy it, I don't. I can't say like, look, you have.
I am not bummed. I am bummed by you trying to manipulate everyone into thinking I'm crazy.
I know, but you, but, oh God, it's dark. It's deep.
I think it is. And I haven't really fully pinpointed why. Ah. But.
Sounds like a riddle. The beginning of a riddle or a joke.
You love that story. That story is omitting some important points.
That the lady who comes to clean the house, first of all, you downgraded her to cleaning the house.
Okay, then you'd have to say a college-educated person who moved here to chase a dream. Yeah. Had an odd job at the house. Yeah.
But that, look. That's great. I know you love it. What's wrong?
No, it's not real. I am privileged. I am highly capable.
No, no, I know that. But the context around you here, the maid in Louisiana, you are not imagining someone who could probably at any moment go get employed or go get a higher degree and then get employed quickly and immediately.
You are. That's on you. No, it's part of why you like the story. The story is not as good in theory if it's just someone who's like. It totally is. Can totally become a lawyer tomorrow, then goes and buys the house across the street.
It's still fine for you.
The exact same. You moved from another place. You started off at the bottom working at CPK and you have this house. What's the difference? Why is my story more interesting?
Well, what do you mean?
Yeah, I see what you mean. I see what you mean. Yeah, I guess maybe it feels different to me because. It didn't that wasn't the intention, I guess.
Like if you started at GM and become the CEO, that's probably your intention is to like maneuver your way to the top. But we I guess we invented the top in some way. So that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I love it.
Well, I guess you're in luck. Oh, and that's a ding, ding, ding, because she wanted people to write on their house how they made their money.
Well, an art that didn't exist 11 years ago, maybe. Oh, my God, yeah. They're like, what is this thing you're doing? But also, again, not to throw so many compliments at you. Please do. I love it. You're someone I could point to like, well, I'm going out there to do this thing. There's other people. There's Mindy. There's Aziz. I think that's it. But I could maybe be in that category.
And you're like a North Star for sure. That's really nice.
She just she just got a star. She did on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I saw some pictures. Gorgeous.
Yes, we saw him live. I thought it was incredible. But also the whole audience was like 90 percent brown people. And this is my baggage. I walked in and I was like, oh, my God, there's so many Indian people here. It's just old history. It's the hurdle I have to jump before. I'm like, it's fine. But it was just weird to sit there and be like, the reception's amazing.
I could have leaned in, but I took a big pivot the other way.
This is Nick. And this is Jack. We're best friends, ex-finance guys, and resident 90s experts. And every week on our podcast, The Best Idea Yet, we're bringing you the untold stories behind your favorite products. For instance, can you guess which billion-dollar fashion company went viral thanks to a rhinestone-covered tracksuit?
Or which cartoon turned four turtles into a global toy empire by accident? It started as a joke. Last one, which cold beverage was so hated by Starbucks... They actually ended up acquiring it. Spoiler, the Frappuccino. Howard Schultz apparently thought cold coffee was super lame, and then he bought it. From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to Juicy Couture to the Orange Mocha Frappuccino.
Join us every week to learn how your favorite things got made. Follow The Best Idea Yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor.
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. And today we have the greatest voice of all time, perhaps.
Especially flying's your hobby. You get to have that probably more than most people. Oh, fuck that. I race stuff. I'm all about flying. The ocean? No, thank you. Oh, man. The ocean will tell you in one second, guess what? I'm in charge. There's no game plan that's going to get you out of this.
Yeah, I just watched this doc about this young woman, this South African who sailed around the world. Yeah, all by herself for months. No wind for like two weeks. Sitting in the middle of the ocean, no wind.
Yeah, when that happens, I wonder if you feel like, has the world stopped? People have gone insane. Yeah. Yeah, to see the glass-like surface of the ocean, I would think, oh, motion has stopped on planet Earth. No swell. Oh, that's terrifying.
Yeah, I sailed through it one time in that Asia trip, and it was calmer, but it wasn't glass-like. That would have really freaked me out.
I don't want that. I don't want that at all. And rot.
Right. Would you be opposed to me keeping you here as an attraction? No. Like when you came to my house, you could get a picture with Morgan Freeman, the taxidermy version. Could I have your oral permission for that if that happens? I'm going to stuff your ass.
You're not going to do it. You can't do it. We're on to something here, though. When my wife will hear about like, so-and-so just told his family he's had cancer for two years. I'm like, yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Let me warn you now. I don't want anyone knowing I have something because I don't want to be pitied. I don't like that. Oh, I'm so sorry. I know.
And I'm maybe projecting on you, but I think that's one of your things as well. I don't need it.
Okay, so after the Air Force, you have a pretty long period. When I'm looking at your life and your career, there's obviously a lot of unique aspects to it. But one of them is, I think I underestimated this. Because in my lifetime, the most time I've been loving movies, you've certainly been a part of them. But you had a really kind of later start of stardom.
And I'm curious, so I left Detroit, took 10 years to get an acting job. And that to me felt like 150 years. My pessimism and the weight of that for a decade was rough. I think I'd be an addict anyways, but certainly the addiction was fueled a lot by that. Like, oh, my God, is this ever going to happen? Have I chosen wrong? Am I going to end up penniless?
How were you during that long period of working a bit here and a bit there, having some success, then having some stagnation? How was that weighing on you mentally during all that?
Ran out of rice. What a fucking different life you ended up having.
How do you deal with the many times where it looks like, okay, it's going to happen. Finally got my foot in the door. I'm in this play. I'm on Broadway. There's a lot of those, right?
Were you feeling when you were with your acting peers, were you feeling behind the eight ball? Were you having that sense that you were getting older? How do you explain that? That's just your temperament? I guess that's what it is. And you were getting to perform. So you're like, okay, I'm performing. That's what I wanted to do.
I know that you were a part of a troupe there, the Royals. This was the opera ring.
So you were at the 1964 World's Fair in New York.
performing and you know there was an actress that was doing her very first performance professionally at the world's fair as a dancer do you know who that is goldie hawn really no way yeah you guys were both there that was her first kind of paid dancing performance that was mine too yeah i thought that was interesting i was working in the what do you call it
hello sir hello sir i'm dax how you doing good nice to meet you thanks for coming where are you guys coming from i live here in l.a you do okay and morgan lives in alabama mississippi oh yeah yeah which one that's the question which one or mississippi both you can't have both
Stuff went missing in New York pretty regularly, right? Yeah.
And did all of a sudden they have $105 a week to pay you? No, they didn't. I was gone, man. Okay. I was expecting them to go, hey.
And so that was it. It was my New York job. There's something about giving away security for the dream. There's something magic that happens. I had a job that was perfect gold cage. It's like I only worked on the weekends. I worked enough hours I could pay to be an actor. At some point I had to go like, I'm quitting that.
And I don't really have a plan, but I feel like I need to quit that before this other stuff's going to open up. Your Broadway debut is in 68 in Hello, Dolly. Pearl Bailey won a Tony for that. It was an all-black cast of Hello, Dolly. Yeah. Were you a Cab Calloway fan? Was it exciting for you? I was more excited just about being on Broadway.
Yeah. Now, again, you're in a Broadway play and people are getting nominated and winning Tonys. For me, I'm like, OK, buckle up. Here we go. Was it a rocket ship after that? I know we go to 1971, The Electric Company.
If you like them, you like them. If you don't, you don't. Let's go. You guys out of here?
That was the final straw. First was where you stand on your fucking business. Two was do you really live in Alabama, Mississippi? That was strike two. Two strikes.
Yeah, and if you're doing that five shifts a week, you've doubled your salary right there.
And you didn't want to work there for 49 bucks with no tips.
You're tall and striking.
Like, where did they bury the survivors? That old riddle. Yeah, I guess you could conceivably build a house right on the state line and put your bedroom dead in the middle of it.
Immediately. What do you suppose it is? It's just your will, right? There's no engine to rely on. Is that the appeal? Like I'm making this happen or it's not happening? The ownership of the experience?
And go to sleep on one side and wake up on the other side of the bed. Well, Morgan, welcome to the show. Are you doing a bunch of press right now for Linus? Yeah. And what's your overall feelings about press? You can be very honest because I have varying views myself. It's a have to. You have to do it.
I mean... Him and Edward James Olmos, Darth Vader.
Imani, you're too young to remember the electric company, right? Yeah, I don't know it. It was 71 to 75 PBS kids show, but it was a really fun and funky, very 70s kids show. It was Sesame Street.
First one of those, really. Sesame Street was way before. Oh, my God.
It succeeded. You didn't love that, though, right? Because of the subject matter or the pace of it? Terrified that I would become Captain Kangaroo. Right, of course. And you'd just been on Broadway around town. That would have been really hard for me. I would be very nervous that it wasn't going to end well.
That's as far as you're going to go. And it was such a different time. It was so regimented and compartmentalized. And you couldn't do a commercial. And movie people couldn't be in TV. And TV people couldn't be in soap operas. And soap opera, it just never ended. Yeah. But I did it all.
In that period from 71 until really 87, you have 16 years of doing a part in a movie, being on a show for a minute, doing the soap for two years. OK, 87. Now, I just want to point out at this point, you're 50. Yeah, about. You do Street Smart with Christopher Reeve and Kathy Baker, and you get nominated for your first Academy Award. Yeah.
So I think you might have had this experience that a handful of people have, which is it took forever. And then there is Whiplash. Was that a kind of whiplash? Like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I've just been cobbling together rent now for all these years. Now I'm in this thing and now we're going to the Academy Awards. It feels a little abrupt. No, it doesn't. It started 20 years before.
Yeah. Well, you can have these different columns of luck in life, right?
You can be like very unlucky in some quadrant of your life and then be pretty lucky in some quadrant. I picked that one over baseline luck level. I'd rather have some spikes.
That's really true. That's interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's really powerful. We don't hear that part of it. It's just get back up. But you're right. Struggling is another option. And it does elicit kindness and help.
Exclusively. OK, so then this isn't a stutter step. This is really the beginning of the very wild ride. The handful of people ride. 89 is a crazy year. Glory comes out.
So there's many reasons why it can be uncomfortable. One of them is starting to just kind of feel fraudulent because you're repeating yourself so much. I can turn the air on for us.
That's lucky timing. There you go. Something will come along. You and I won't call it God, but something. Yeah. It's always you. Yeah, I like your take on God. Well, do I believe in God? Well, I believe man invented God. So, yeah, I believe in me. Oh, I like that. You heard that somewhere. I know you. I've been paying attention. Why am I sitting here talking?
I could do this whole thing if you want to take a nap. Just what a fucking year, though. Glory, obviously, five Oscar noms. Driving Miss Daisy, nine Oscar noms, including Best Actor nomination for you. Lena and me is a huge. That's a crazy year. Yeah. How do you adjust to the notion of maybe having money going forward? Because that's now on the table.
In 1989, you're starting to probably reassess like, oh, I might actually have money now at 52 years old. You hadn't bought a house yet at 52, had you? No, I hadn't bought a house yet. Do you remember buying your first house?
And now it's worth 20 X of that probably.
Oh, you're not turning it off. I'm turning it right back off.
Okay. So it really takes off in 89. I just want to ask you about a couple of projects. One of them is Monica and I's top five movie of all time. So we got to geek out for a second on that. But I do just want to talk about 92. That feels very special to me. Unforgiven. I didn't audition for that. Clint Eastwood called. Oh, boy.
What's that feel like? Clint Eastwood? He wants me to do a Western with him? You're kidding me. I think people can have performances. They change something permanently. Where no matter what happens, I give D'Onofrio as a great example of this in Full Metal Jackets. Like, if you do that scene one time sitting on the toilet with your gun, it cannot be taken.
For the rest of your life, people know, well, he can do anything. That's not to say we're going to give him anything to do, but we know he can do anything. And for me, Unforgiven for you is that, well, that's done on Morgan Freeman. That guy is a legend. That's like a legendary performance. The chemistry between you two is just, that's the part of magic I like about movies. You just don't know.
You could be best friends with somebody, have no sparkle on screen, right? And then you guys are strangers and you have this deep familiarity and understanding of who one another are and this acceptance and this nonjudgmental friendship, which is so pure and interesting. Could you feel when you were making the movie, this is a special thing, or did it feel like all the movies? Special to me.
I'm on screen with Clint East fucking Wood.
I practiced nonstop. I would be twirling. Oh, yeah. Putting it in the holster sideways. I was bad. Yeah, me too. No one was looking, but I thought I was a bad customer. You know, you're just practicing. You grew up and you got to play that with the ultimate guy who does that. And you got to be a bad motherfucker yourself, which is fun to play. Especially if you got beat up a lot in these schools.
Directors. It sounds like you've been hit or miss with directors.
I guess what I'm going for here is I'm guessing you must have liked how Clint directed.
That's how I would feel. If I knew the game plan and I understood it and agreed that that was worthwhile of an endeavor, I could play along. It's the, I'm not sure what I want. Why don't you keep doing things until you show me what I want?
For the listener. Morgan just physically, yeah. That's the zone, right, that we hate.
That's the truth of that moment for me. And then it'll come out again. So that can be tough.
Well, the editor's going to put you on the mat. That version, Monica, I'm almost mildly sympathetic to. It's more the entitled, well, I have you. We got it. Let's see if you can come up with something on your own I hadn't thought of that's going to be brilliant. That's just more like, I'm just going to use you now into the ground because I can't.
Yeah, that's the version I don't really like.
I trust you, and I'm open to the Morgan magic if you want to give it to me. I reign the Morgan magic.
Do you remember the role for me? It was Days of Thunder. I was like, okay, I want her as a doctor for the rest of my life. Okay, when you saw Unforgiven, you grew up watching these movies on Saturday. I hope you had that moment where you thought like, oh, goddamn, I got in one of those.
Now, you were brought home as a baby to Memphis? From Memphis. Dad was a barber. Well, at the time, they were both nurses' aides. Uh-huh.
Shawshank 30th anniversary. Again, in the life story, the lessons you learn that just happened to you. This one's interesting. I point it out on the show all the time. Shawshank, for your average, if you ask them, was that a hit? They go, oh, it's got to be an enormous hit because every single person has seen this movie and it's fucking great. And it wasn't a box office smash.
It underperformed or probably scared some people initially. I'll tell you what happened with Shawshank.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He has the same explanation as I have about Zathura.
I was in this great movie Favreau directed called Zathura. It's a great movie. Not one fucking person was going to step up to the ticket counter and go, can I get a Zathura?
They didn't want to try to say it out loud. Right. Kind of a middle-aged lady on an elevator.
The Odd Sucker Reduction.
Yeah, Morgan's my guy too. Morgan Freeman, Academy Award winning actor, producer, and narrator. The Shawshank Redemption 7. Our very favorite ding, ding, dingles. God. Bruce Almighty, The Bucket List, Million Dollar Baby. And new season of Lioness, The Taylor Sheridan Show. Hugely popular. Season 2 out right now on Paramount+. What a delight. Morgan Freeman.
I want to see that. Where did you see it? I want to check that out. That's very funny. Now, did that one feel, how about this? You had just done Unforgiven. That's such a special movie. And it was received and rewarded as such. Shawshank, was it a little heartbreaking? Because, again, of your performances, that to me is still in top three. They're not really heartbreaking for me.
They're heartbreaking for the studio. They put up all that money. But Darabond was a million takes director, too. You weren't loving that vibe. That was a kind of tense set. Sure.
You're in a prison. I shot a movie in a prison. You underestimate what it's like to be just even shooting in a prison. After a few weeks, you're like, okay, novelty's worn off. I fucking hate it here. I want to get out of here.
Yeah. Okay. The last movie I'm going to make you talk about. We could do this all day. You're in so many great movies. It's wild. You've been nominated a bazillion times, won several times. Monica and I love Seven. We love Seven. I watch seven once a year.
I would hate acting with that technicality. Like it wouldn't be for me. I don't have the right disposition. So I applaud everyone that does it in the spirit of it because it's worth it. But I'll tell you the magic of that is the way they all hold up. They are masterpieces of composition and pacing and timing. The work is evident. It's such a great movie. How did you enjoy making that movie?
What was it like working with this young, gorgeous Brad Pitt, young, gorgeous Gwyneth Paltrow?
I wonder if this is a tall guy thing, too, though. That's my Achilles is my it's rare. It's literal, but it's not because. But yeah, when you roll and I remember my dad used to roll his all the time. And he said, basically with a rolled ankle, you got to go a year without rolling it and it'll tighten back up. But until then you can roll it so easy. Yeah. But I would say what you did in that movie.
And when I asked, did it help you understand your own powers is if I'm you as an actor, the confidence I need to commit to that performance and go, I'm never going to be showy. I'm not going to be loud and exciting. I'm going to force you to lean closer to hear what I'm saying. That takes a ton of confidence, right? Did you have any anxiety while you're doing it? Like, I hope this works.
That tells you a lot about how hard it is. Only Laurence Olivier nailed it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I almost wonder if in a boxing way, if you're defeated by it, you want to give it another shot.
But something you were smart. You're like, I don't have an Emmy to beat Othello. I'm going to let it be the one experience. OK, last movie, just because I'm curious how you got on. Did you have fun doing Bucket List? How did you get on with Jack Nicholson? Let me tell you, for my money, Morgan, present company excluded.
But for my money, when you watch Departed, you go, wow, this is about everyone. That's great doing it all in one movie. I go like, who am I most going to want to look at in a two shot movie? In a wide. Nicholson is as great as, I mean, what an attractive human being. Did he deliver? Oh, wonderful. You're smiling. We're getting a nod and a smile.
Yeah. You go down to Mississippi and you live with your dad's mom there? Or does the whole family? I'm 87 years old. They were all dead. When you were a toddler.
I might give the whole package up.
But was Jack in your list as well? Oh, yeah. When you were acting with him, did it fuck you up ever? Did you sometimes go like, oh, wow, I'm in a scene with Jack Nicholson. Would you get self-aware of what you were experiencing?
This is what I want to do. Let's introduce CRS condition, which you've recently diagnosed yourself as. Because I think that's a good primer for the interview. Yeah.
Well, I don't know if Jack has that gear. I don't think so.
I like that attitude you got there. It's nice. It's generous.
Yeah. How have you done in the past with other, like, strong male? Is it easy for you to coexist? Easy.
That's the truth. Strong males aren't doing anything but acting.
Oh, boy. Yeah. Once in a while, we lift something heavy, though. That's right. Yeah. And then we're not needed for a very long time.
That's right. Or you got to be tall once in a blue moon. I need to be tall for somebody. I justify my existence for a couple of weeks. Can you reach that for me? Yes, I can. Okay, let's talk about Lioness. Season two is upon us. This is Taylor Sheridan. And as we said, Nicole Kidman, Michael Kelly, Zoe Saldana. And now you're playing Secretary of State.
So you've pretty much now played almost every member of government, I think, at this point. You're getting close.
Which time was it that I was playing the president? That was the third time I played the president.
He can't remember a lot of things.
Yeah, just like that. So Taylor's got a good thing going, right?
And he said on Kimmel that he does have CRS as a condition, which is can't remember shit.
Okay, great. And then you've got mayor of... Mayor of Kingstown. The king of Tulsa. Lioness. Jeez. It's like impossible, the amount of writing this human does in one year. So did it start with a meeting with you and Taylor? Yeah, we Zoomed. Taylor Sheridan wants to talk to you.
Is that where you shot? That's where we shot the first season. No way.
Oh, come on. I'm telling you. Oh, my God. And were you sailing down there in Mallorca? No, no, no, no. I quit sailing. I got hurt in 2008. That's one of my questions for you. There's a very weird riddle within you getting hurt in 2008. You were driving a 1997 Nissan Maxima.
So that medical condition, we should state up front in case we get a little blurry on the background.
Yeah. Morgan, what in the fuck is going on? This is 2008 and you're driving a 97 Nissan Maxima. This is a nine-year-old Nissan Maxima.
I'm more struck by the notion that you're driving a nine-year-old Nissan and you've won Academy Awards and you're rich. Wasn't my car. Oh, well, there is the explanation. You can understand why I was like, why is Morgan in this car? That was my main takeaway, other than you were hurt.
Oh, interesting. Yeah. So maybe you had some heart fibrillation or something. Something afib and just went and tore that car up. I mean, relatively unscathed with how bad the accident was. It was very bad, right? Rolled the car over. Yeah, I think it tumbled. Oof. And you ended up hurting your hand pretty bad. I broke my arm. The humerus? The big bone up there?
Heartbreaking. I walked away. What about bringing a fucking 16-year-old kid on board? You get him out when it's time to park.
Can't we do that? $49 a week, like you're back at the... I'm so much a solo guy.
And does that start extending also going back months? I do wonder, can short-term get bigger, short-term memory? I don't know. Mine gets smaller and smaller. But those core memories, they seem very intact. Yeah, that's a good term to use, core. I remember my childhood as well, perfectly. Two years ago, I'm not sure what happened. And I kind of marvel at what an impact it makes.
Shit happens, as we say. Yeah. Okay, so you meet with Taylor. It goes well. Season one goes well. You're back. Was it hard for you to commit to doing TV?
Yeah, what are you watching more of? Are you watching TV or going out to the movies? You're probably like the rest of us watching TV. I'm watching TV.
You did go back to Mississippi when you had the option. And I did wonder, is it overwhelming being famous in an area where it's more exciting to see famous people?
For your country. Now, when you decide to work, A, the appetite is impressive. How are you deciding when and why you'll work? Do you like make decisions? I'm done. And then you make another decision. I'm back.
Yeah. It's a gift. Yeah. Well, this has been such an honor to talk to you again. Seven's our religion. We'll be watching that.
All right. Yeah. What a performance. You're such an anchor of that whole experience. You're great on Lioness, of course. Lioness is super exciting. Great cast. That's out October 27th. Season two starts on Paramount Plus. This has just been a delight. I know that promoting is a thankless and boring and never ending job. So I feel very lucky that we got so much of your time.
Thank you so much. It's such an honor to meet you.
Okay. They grow those in Chicago.
Do you think about that?
Where did you think this booger resided?
Mid-gap between lip and nose.
Wait, is that called Cupid's bow?
Oh, I don't really have one. I see people with a really pronounced Cupid's bow and I'm really envious.
But of varying intensities, yeah?
What setting were you in? Was it high stakes?
It was a dream. Yeah. Okay, let's just be very clear. It was a dream. This did not happen. In the interview.
Do you think this was a seed set by learning people have OCD about smelling? Do you think this is where this all jumped off?
It's a smelly booger too. It is the winter. Yeah.
Six years old. Do you remember a context at all? Do you remember World War II was ending? Is that a memorable event, or was that just the water you were swimming in? That's just water I was swimming in, good way to put it.
But really, most importantly, JG. Yeah, JG. JGs. Jagers.
Of course, that's what you do.
Yeah, yeah, leading in a good direction.
About to be turned on to a full boil once you got that bedroom door closed. That's right. Yes.
OK, right, right, right.
Oh, wow. You got all the way to the bedroom in your dream? Yes. Okay.
Heavy petting? Yeah. Okay. Very heavy.
Okay. Extra heavy petting. Like too heavy, actually. Okay.
It's just a dream. Don't take this out of context.
Earmuffs moment? Yeah, it's not appropriate for kids.
Okay, he went down there.
Oh, wow. Yep. And he's so nice. If his face betrayed him, it was really something. Because he has a lot of manners.
It was like, no, it was more like, well, okay.
Okay. Hold on a second though. Is this post seeing Anna Kendrick's movie?
Because Pete Holmes turns. He's like, so nice, so nice, so nice. Turns. Well, do you want to leave? That's what he says with that look on his face.
The timeline is a little hazy.
It was just horrible. Did he march out? Did he call you any names?
Sure. It's a very scarring dream. Traumatic. I'm having a new... It's not like this hasn't occurred to me, but right now I'm having a real moment where I'm recognizing... What I feel bad for men about is they have this constant anxiety about their erection.
It's one of my few skills, Morgan. Really? Yeah, if you want to hit me with anything. You got any, like, tax items you want me to add up quickly?
You talk to men and it's, I have had so many friends over the years where like the mental battle going on is like, I couldn't, we were kissing and it didn't get hard. And then in their mind, they can't get hard with this person. And now it's just this like mental battle they're dealing with nonstop.
And the equivalent of your hardness is that the fear that it might smell. It must be really stressful in the way that an erection is stressful. And let's just say, well, how do I say this politely? People smell. Well, just the nature of the apparatus. It's going to have to smell. If it be intimate with me, it involves spreading my butt cheeks and going into my...
You know, I would live in deep, deep. I think it would take me out of dating altogether, to be honest.
Unless it was like every single time we were intimate, I went into the shower and I scrub, scrub, scrub my bottom hole. If that was like part of the repertoire of services I offered, I would have a lot of stress about it.
I'm not comparing that to that, but I am comparing that.
Let's even say you were extra exploratory and you just even... Stuck your finger in a little bit. Yeah, got your finger in there a little bit and cleaned the next inch out.
Okay. I have no advice on the vagina. I think your butthole's fine to do that.
When I'm in the shower washing, I'm not... You stick your finger up there? I don't want to say that out loud, but I'm just... Let's just say I don't just stop at like... The packaging, the wrapping.
No, I attempt to like really clean it.
No. Not, well, fingers crossed. Knock on wood.
You need to go about six inches up into your colon to ensure that there's nothing going to.
Okay, fecal matter. It's still not time to lift your head, your earmuffs off your child if you're in the car, let's just say.
And I've heard like all growing up, they were pitching very hard all day long on some on daytime television. Summer's Eve. Douche. It's got a better name than that. Yeah. Hemen and wash. Hena wash. Feminine wash.
Summer's Eve. It was on all the time. It felt like this was a product that was mandatory if you were a woman in the 80s.
I've heard that that can be not a good mix for your flora.
Oh, God. My heart goes out at the... It truly does. You're like, fuck, I put it on summer's eve. I think I can do it. I mean, how stressful.
That's going to. I don't think. I think you need to get a friend.
Yeah. Because I think it's in your head. I'm married, so I can't offer. But and so is Rob. But maybe a close friend. You know, Jess. That would be a great starting point because he's not going to get mixed feelings after he does it.
Already an acting star. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You start really, really young. Yeah. Your first role's nine years old. Eight. Eight. Yeah. And you're living with grandma or mom? Mom by now. Okay.
And you look at him as a, well, I don't want to say brother because you don't want that.
Ew. I just don't know what else to recommend. My hunch is this is in your head. And so I think you need an extra set of eyes on this, i.e. nose on this.
Listen, I was in that situation when I was younger. It would burble up. And of course I never, I never was like, I shouldn't have even done that. Just the thought of doing... Wait, let's try this, okay? I'm coming up, and I go... And I just do that really quick.
Oh, I like that when people signal something stinks, they double down. They'll pinch their nose like, ugh. And then they go, ugh. Like, if they really want you to know it smells for some reason, this isn't sufficient. And this wouldn't be sufficient. You got to go, oh, don't go by that port-a-potty. Oh, fuck. I'm really heartbroken for anyone out there that's just panicked about it.
Because I'm sure... I'm sure in your mind it's something it's not. I want to say this from the outside.
A, I've never smelt BO on you. That sounds like it seems like a good starter. And I don't have never smelt bad breath on you.
So I'm inclined to think this is all in your head.
Here's a new item, Shark Tank.
It's like a stick. like a chemical stick and you wave it and then it impartially and objectively just says whether there's, it can detect whether there's a smell on some, on some scale.
Well, then I think we go to the, the G the G Y N. You never say GYN, OBGYN. I want to drop the OB. You don't need an obstetrician in this situation.
So you go to the GYN. Then I think you go to the gyno and you go, I think I need help down there. What can be done? What does science really have to offer us? Would that be too? That shouldn't be too embarrassing with a gynecologist. That's got to be what they're.
I have no business guessing this, but I just don't think you're having... This issue. I think this is all from a dream. Yeah. You've had some lovers. Have you detected any of them? No.
No, it's your brain telling you you're scared of that.
That's just one more thing you think of that could be a disaster.
Right. I might elect to not answer it with that setup, but go ahead. But you will.
Okay. Well, I love doing that. I rarely do this.
Yeah. Or just in relationships.
Yeah, yeah. I think the fallopians are odorless. Were you going to go as far as fallopians?
Okay, so let's start with something that's very interesting, I think, is we know people with terrible breath.
And they have partners that don't seem to care at all. So I think there can be like, I don't think it's as objective as you smell across the board to everybody.
Because I think I see people that are in partnerships and the people smell and they don't seem to care or know. And I don't think they smell it. Because they would address it. Like if Kristen reeked like BO everywhere we went, I'd go, babe, when people hug you, their shirts smell like your armpits afterwards.
Yeah, I mean, how far down the road would you get? I don't know. Right. That's hard to say. Like you're asking me the moment we got married. Well, I'm in pretty deep at that point already. I love her and we own a home together.
But would we have gotten to that point if she stank?
I would love to say I'm a good enough person, but I don't think so. I know. I would way rather, I'm more sensitive to snows, to smells than am visual. I would be way better off with someone that you would think is unattractive, but smell great. Same. Yeah. That's why it's a legit fear because it's powerful. Smells are very powerful. But again, some people don't care about smells.
I'll be somewhere and it stinks. And I'm like, is everyone? And a lot of people are like, no, I don't smell. It smells like a fucking sewer main broke. No. So I don't know. Whatever your DNA is.
I think men are appreciative enough to be down there too, that they'll overlook.
I think pretty bad for it to be an issue.
Great distinction. That's what I was asking. Because I think a lot of people might think, oh, just smell of like sweat. And I don't know what we'd even call it is bad. No, there's smells down there that are very appealing to us.
suite of smells that are still positive.
You know what I'm saying?
Well, no, like you've even said this, like when you've smelled a hot guy's just slight BO.
Yeah, there's just like, there's a spectrum of it that you notice, oh, that's got a smell, but also you don't mind it. You like it.
And the association with you're about to get vagina.
I think that's a great point, Rob. Thank you, Rob.
And I also think some guys are, they want it bad enough that they could definitely deal with it because they want the ultimate thing bad enough.
But if someone has all the options in the world, like Jagers... Probably the bar goes up a little bit.
If I'm just being totally honest and guessing.
Jager's hypothetical.
Okay. Well, in the non-spirit realm, in the non-dream world, I went motorcycle riding on Friday with Danny Rick.
And this radical dude, Adam, who is a motocross racer, like, you know, a real... I don't know. I want you to understand.
Well, it's like me playing pickup basketball with Michael Jordan.
Yeah. Now this gets serious, I'm assuming, because at 12 years old, you win a statewide. You're like in a drama competition. You win best actor at 12 years old. Are you feeling yourself? Are you like next stop is Broadway? What does that do to a 12 year old?
Okay. So it was Adam. It was Ricardo. I think the standard age was 33. And then a couple of great blokes from Australia that Danny had in town. And you know Aussies are nuts. They're young and wild.
and we met at rower flats in the mountains and um i was on a brand new motorcycle kx klx 300 i love it so comfy uh dual sport and i know i'm losing you and um we rode for five straight hours up and up a mountain trail down up a mountain trail and i gotta tell you i i succeeded i wasn't ever vocally complaining but i it did cross my mind When are we- Gonna be done?
Not done, just we've probably reached a point where we probably can't ride for five hours with 30 year olds. Like, oh, wow. OK, we're really here where I did it. Right. I didn't crash.
Also, you should know dirt bikes is my worst domain.
Out of all things you put gas in, it's the thing I'm the least good at. So I was working my ass off out there. And it is the there was a moment where there was this huge, huge, super duper steep hill climb. Which I will add, there were seven of us riding. Five of us didn't make it. So it wasn't me per se. I'm almost to the top.
And now I'm in first gear and it's fishtailing and I'm losing traction. And I'm trying to keep it going to get to the top of the hill. And all of a sudden I just catch the front wheel and go over this berm. So now I'm off to the side of the mountain. And now I'm off the bike so I don't tumble. And the bike's now kind of laying sideways. And I'm still on this crazy steep hill. And I've got to now...
Now this berm's in between the front tire and the back, so I've got to get it off of the berm, back out onto the super-duper steep trail, then let the clutch out and start walking next to it and ride it up from the side. All that to say, that was like a four-minute battle with the motorcycle as to not lose my footing, fall backwards down this hill, not drop the bike, all this stuff.
I finally got up to the top of the hill. I got on my motorcycle. And thank God I was first. So I had a while while the rest of them tried to climb this hill. And I just leaned over my handlebars. And I think my heart rate was like, it had to be 185. What I realized is this is the highest my heart rate has been in a decade. And then we had another three hours of riding to do.
It's like there's dirt, but then the dirt, because everyone's riding, it's kicking the dirt to the side. So it just naturally gets dish shaped. So it's dish shaped. And then so that's a berm. It's like raised like 12 inches of dirt from where the trail is. And then there's a bunch of tall grass growing on top of that. So whatever the fuck that adds to it.
It's a little baby on the side of the very steep hill.
So why is that the question? No. Yeah.
I don't know that I'm done.
It was a mixed bag. Here's what it was. It was like, wow, I pulled that off, but kind of by the skin of my teeth. Yeah. Here's what the thought was. I'm going to be out here soon, and I'm not going to be able to pull it off. That was what it was. It wasn't like I'm not going to or I don't think I could next time.
It was just like, oh, wow, we hit the limit of our endurance on something that we're just okay at.
Oh, really nice metaphor. Thank you. But Danny Rick, update on him as a human being.
I don't feel good or bad about it. I just feel like I knew I needed to do some analysis and recognize that we're probably nearing the end of me being able to do that.
And that might be fine. Okay. Because what happens nicely that parallels it perfectly is like it gets less enjoyable because it's so hard.
So it's not like I feel like I'll be giving something up. That's true. And again, I'm talking about I'm giving up potentially a five-hour ride in the mountains. I still could go ride for a few hours. It's not that I have to give it up. There's just a zone where it's probably going to get less enjoyable as I get older at a certain level.
And I'm recognizing I might have crescendoed this whole thing.
Not that, not the version where we're out all day long.
That I hated that. That was heartbreaking. But also I was very grateful. Cause if I go past my limit out there, it sucks. I have to ride really slowly back to camp and take a long time. If you meet, the end of your talents out in a sailboat, I don't know what happens then. Like if you're mid-storm and you got to fight and you no longer have the capacity, that to me sounds very deadly.
So I was heartbroken because you can tell how much he loves sailing. I know. Sailing, ding, ding, ding. I love the Ted Turner doc. There's a lot of sailing in that. These people are different from me.
And it was a real success.
You almost gave up on making the squash.
The green beans. The squash was a hit. Sorry.
Yeah, this is an extraordinary amount of work. Yeah, that's one little mouse in her little tiny kitchen.
Double giblets. I don't like. Yeah, no one likes it.
Was Eastwood, you were too similar in age, right? How old were you when you started seeing Eastwood in movies?
OK. I don't know why you would need a double dose of the juice.
I thought one, there was one bag of giblets per turkey. Why would there be two? Why don't they put it in one bag?
You see all the reasons why it didn't make sense to me. There's two bags of giblets in a turkey.
Do you Google at any point? Do turkeys have two bags of giblets? No.
They're packing this turkey full of plastics.
Wait, doesn't unthawed mean frozen?
Give it another round of fisting. Yeah, I did. Okay.
No giblets. We're not there.
I don't know why any of them do.
Also, this is like TSC, TCS.
It is toxic shock syndrome. That's right. I didn't want to say it out loud, but yeah.
Yeah, I was only curious if you had been a fan of his before you worked with him. Big fan. My favorite movie was The Outlawed Josie Wales. Josie Wales, yeah, yeah. Now, you were also moving a ton, right? Because you did Memphis. You did a couple places in Mississippi. You did Gary, Indiana. How were you doing when you were dropping into these new schools nonstop? Getting beat up.
I know. You got to get those chiplets out. Why are they in there? Fuck. I need a turkey grower to explain why you need to include that.
Maybe some people- If you have to pull it out, why?
Oh, I mean, there's some good dish people make with the giblets.
What are we doing for brown and serve biscuits? Any brown and serve rolls? No rolls.
You're getting hung up on? I think it's my favorite. Now, I can't even eat them because they're gluten-free, but I think that was always my favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner is those brown and serve rolls.
I think they're already maybe a bit baked, and then they're brown, and then you serve them. Oh. And you serve them hot. And then when you put the butter on, it just melts.
They're kind of like a Hawaiian sweet roll.
Never stopped, seven hours.
Someone who only looks for one bag of giblets.
You almost cut that corner. It saved the whole meal.
Kind of like my motorcycle ride. And then you have the pride of having saw it through.
It's a funny endeavor, right? Because for seven hours, you're probably pretty miserable.
Also that someone can eat it and say, you did a good job. And you go, okay, it was worth it. I did a good job. By the way, I'm the same way. I'm not throwing stones in a glass house.
Marymount? Fellowship?
And did you guys give thanks?
I don't think that's what anyone thinks.
You were getting beat up. Yeah.
That's right. It would be two Thanksgivings.
Even worse. One would be homemade, one would be catered, and then people would inevitably vocally vote who did it better. And then someone's a loser.
I bet you do. You little competitive mouse.
Rat. That's your rat side. You fucking rat.
No, I don't think that's a good. No situation where one of the two teams is losing when both people have been very generous.
That would be our loss.
If everyone voted and the Shepard's Thanksgiving dinner wasn't as good as the Padman's.
But in my defense, we have 22 guests.
Well, I think, yeah, it would be if the verdict was we liked Monica's better and we had just fed 22 people.
What was the roughest stop?
Great. So if we fed 22 people and then they said, hey, we liked Monica's better, I would feel like, well, then fuck you. You don't eat it next year.
Yeah. You had to declare that you liked Monica's better.
And then I go, I can cook it better and I'm going to cook sushi. And then I want everyone to vote whether they liked Monica's sushi restaurant.
What ages were you in Chicago?
And I said, it's not a good idea because someone loses. Someone will be voted as the worst meal. And I feel like that's a weird thank you for hosting 22 people to be declared the worst of the two meals.
Oh, I do. When I order spicy tuna crispy rice from Katsuya, I damn well think it's better than any version I'm going to make in my kitchen.
Yeah. I can understand why you would want to be told your homemade meal was better than the store-bought one. I understand that. Fully. Do you understand how I would feel if I hosted 22 people and paid for and catered a meal and then they told me it wasn't as good as this other one they had? Can you imagine how I would feel in that situation?
And then I make spaghetti one night later.
I don't want anyone at the table to say, I like this better than the meal Monica bought us.
I don't know. I think if you brought in the bolognese from Chateau Marmont, I think it would probably be split, and I would expect that.
That Chateau is a good, that's a nice bolognese.
And I make a nice bolognese.
Yeah, but I think your flavor, like whatever your flavor profiles are, one might taste better.
Now, look, we'll see if next year you are able to prepare a meal for 22 people. Maybe you will. But I think at a certain point, if we were inviting 10 people, sure, make it. At the point where we're at 22 people.
I don't think you are.
No, I'm not defensive. I'm saying I don't think we could make a Thanksgiving meal for 22 people.
It's very hard. So because I don't think we can make enough food for 22 people, unless it's all we did this week.
Which is not what we're going to do.
Great. If it was potluck, then that's a whole different thing. But if we're making, I don't think we can make food for 22 people.
So, yeah, I would not need to know if they thought it was worse than another meal they had.
Well, it was hypothetical and almost it was real.
And it was just hypothetical. Yeah.
Yeah. No, I don't think anybody's hurt.
Okay. Were you mad, Rob? No. Okay. No.
Yeah, I would like to try food.
The sweetest point of America. So weird. One part's rascal, one part's sweetest point of America.
Yeah, three days after, four days after Thanksgiving.
So you're a middle, middle, middle. I am the middle child. Quintessential middle.
You don't bury survivors. But I was the one who referenced this riddle, right? Yeah, you were. So I knew this old one.
It was harrowing, and there was another competitor that got stranded in the middle of the Indian Ocean or something. She had to turn her boat around and sail for days to go rescue this person. And then when she came into the harbor a year later or something like that, Not 10 months, a year. The second place was like some hours behind her. And that seems impossible.
Okay, six years before I was born. And... And on my brother's birthday. Wait, what month?
Okay, three days before baby David Robert Shepard Jr. arrived.
It's very weird to think that it existed before I did because it was so in my childhood.
Electric Company, which he was on, which was much funkier.
I'm so grateful and lucky to spend so much time with someone who's so different than me. It's so fun.
It is. It'd be so boring if you and I were the same.
Because you're like really suspicious. What the heck's going on? This is a different answer. Now, my guess is you could ask AI and you'll always get a slightly different answer.
You got to prove where you sit on this ladder every time you arrive. It doesn't come with you. Nope.
No, I think if on the same day you did it, it would be a different thing.
Yeah, but it just added more and had a little less.
Like, Rob, will you right now type in the same exact question into the Google AI?
What's the exact question?
Let's see if Rob reads the exact same one you have, or if it's completely different.
It's complex themes around race, jealousy, and manipulation, which require nuanced acting and careful direction to navigate without perpetuating harmful stereotypes alongside the demanding role of Othello himself.
Is that word for word?
Is it taking in the searcher?
Well, it thinks each time. Like, each time it performs the task of scouring the internet and coming up with a thing. And so it's somewhat random.
real correct answer but nor is yes agreed I mean this isn't a factual question but nor is there in on straight Google search which is like you might come up with one article that has an opinion on it and then there's another article that's got another reason why it's so there's no unified theory in all the results and things written about it yes but then you can look through a but you you do have a lot of options this is just like deciding yep
Yeah, it is. But I'm just saying it's not less consistent. It's probably more consistent in a way because if you just get search results, you're going to get 10 different explanations on why FL is hard to perform through these different links. The AI version gave you guys pretty darn close to the same answer.
Yes, yes. You're just praying for someone to have some kindness and mercy. God, I hope one of these four boys has the bravery to say, we should stop kicking him now. I think we might be hurting him very badly.
Wait, we're scrubbing people from history? Is that it?
I don't want neuralgia.
Although maybe that's what I have. Right here. I can touch it immediately now. I know exactly where the nerve is.
Don't complain about it until you get it checked out. I don't even know if I was complaining.
That that's off the table. Yeah. I'm never allowed to complain about anything until after I've had it checked out.
You haven't had your vagina checked out from your nightmare, but I'm willing to walk down that road with you.
That's the new house rule. That's the limit.
Yeah. So basically, this is a this is almost an ASMR gift. You're going to get to hear Morgan Freeman, that beautiful velvety voice for the next hour and change. So please enjoy Morgan Freeman.
I abide by that. Okay. That makes sense. Like either fix it or shut up about it.
Earmark that for, I want to earmark for the next fact check.
Walking down the hill hiking from the turkey trot and Delta calling me, being one step ahead of me emotionally. calling me out and forcing me to walk through what really happened. And I was like, oh my God, we're here. She's nine. And she's now doing for me what I have been doing for her and her old child.
Okay. Top of the hill coming down. She's cold. She's complaining about being cold. She's complaining about being really hungry. And then like 40 minutes later, um, I she's saying I had now ordered macaroni and cheese, told Kristen to start making it by the time we got home. So there'd be macaroni. And then I say, like, she says, are you going to eat? What are you going to eat when we get home?
And I go, oh, my God, anything. I'm starving. And she goes, you're starving, too. And I go, yeah. And she goes, why don't you say anything about it? And I go, well, I don't want to complain about it. And she immediately goes, are you saying that to let me know that you don't like that I complained about it? And I go, oh, am I doing that?
Maybe to some, on some degree, yeah, I didn't feel like I was doing it, but yeah, maybe. And she goes, well, I don't understand why I should feel bad sharing how I feel. And I go, yeah, that's totally true. I said, but I guess I'm always thinking in life, Would I want to be next to someone that's complaining the whole time? I just try to act in a way that is what I would want other people to act.
So I think about, do I want to take a hike with someone and listen to them complain for an hour and a half? I don't want to. So I just don't do that because I'm assuming no one else would want that. And she goes, well, I would want to always be my full self around everybody. And if someone doesn't want to be around me because I'm being my full self, that's fine.
But I don't think I should not be my full self. And I go, yeah, that's a really legitimate point of view. I think there's a lot of merit to that. And then we're walking and I'm just not feeling great about it. And I go, I know what's going on, Delta. What really happens is when you complain about being hungry, I want to fix it. I can't. We're on top of a hill and I can't make it go away for you.
And now I'm uncomfortable because I can't solve a problem for someone I love. And so really it's just my problem. I want to be able to fix it. And she goes, Daddy, I'm not saying any of this so you can fix it. I'm just saying it so you know what I'm going through. Yeah. I was like, Jesus Christ. But she had to unravel that whole thing for me.
I just said I didn't complain about it. And without any real awareness, I was being passive aggressive.
And she's just like, she's not taking that. She's like, what was that? Does that mean what I think it might mean?
And I just realized like, oh, wow. My mom talks about this. She's like, you know, I knew at this given age, you were smarter than me, which is a weird position for a parent and child to be in. And I've heard her say that to me and never thought that in my own arrogance, I'm not like, well, I don't think they're going to fly by me. Fucking A. I think she flew by me at nine years old on this hike.
Me too. All right. That was my, I don't need your market now. All right. Okay. Love you. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com.
How old was Dad when he died? Very young, yeah. Yeah, like 47, something like that. Wow. Says cirrhosis. Was he a drinker? Oh, heavens, yeah. Okay, again, same. Dad was a raging alcoholic. Stepdads were in the mix that were much worse.
You got a good one. Yeah. Oh, that's great. That rarely happens.
So what things did you pick up from that? For me, I lived in the same house for 16 years, never wanted to leave. I hate moving because of that childhood. I hate authority. And from enough interviews I've listened to you in the last couple of days, I feel like you might have a little of authority issue as well. Do you? Just a little. Just a little. Just a tiny bit.
Yeah, so shocking to me you went into the Air Force, because that sounds to me terrible. A lot of dumb people are going to tell me what to do all the time, and I'm going to have to listen.
Oopsies. You'll fare well in my written coverage of this. How'd that go down?
Yeah, you loved airplanes, right? At the time I did. I still do. I'm a pilot now. At 65, you got your license. That's incredible.
And then some. Where we were graduating and getting into the Air Force. Yeah, it just seems like such an interesting detour for you, who seems like you know. But I get it. You needed to get out. I needed to move.
Oh. I got to go. So that's a heartbreaker. Because those grandmas, boy, they were available, right? Yeah. Yeah.
I was thinking about what was your expectation? Because dad died so young. Grandma died young. 57 when my paternal grandmother died. Yeah, all of it's all too young. Your mom made it to her 80s. Yeah, she was in her late 80s, actually. When the adults around you growing up die so prematurely, I would imagine it's impossible to not start thinking, I'm not going to count on seeing 90 or seeing 80.
Did that impact you or did you never have that view?
That's what I'm going for.
I am a gamer and I am recording this from a job site and I just didn't want to rely on my laptop's audio.
Yeah, that's totally fine. I'm in Bozeman, Montana.
It's gorgeous. We had a blizzard yesterday. Mountains are still full of snow.
A blizzard.
Full-on blizzard driving home last night. Wow. Do you like that? I don't love the snow, but I don't hate it. When it's unexpected is when it's the worst.
Absolutely.
That's exactly what yesterday was. Yeah, it was like 75, 80 degrees over the weekend. Oh my God. Hard snow yesterday, accidents on my drive home. It was pretty rough.
Yeah, they're tricky.
I actually grew up in the Seattle area.
That's right. This was for my wife and I's honeymoon. And shortly before the cruise, as newlyweds tend to do, we fooled around a lot. During some of this fooling around, I ended up with a little bit of chafing on my dick. Okay. Just saying. Right. Imagine a red burn on your dick. That's what it was. Don't need to sugarcoat it.
That's the way the story's going to go.
Absolutely. Happy that those days are long gone for me, for sure. So we're on the cruise. It's day two. It's a day at sea. So there's really not a lot going on. Where's the cruise going to? Is it a Caribbean cruise? We're going to Alaska. Oh, okay. I go to take a shower. And if you've ever been on a cruise before, the bathrooms are tiny.
I mean, you stand in the middle and you can touch all four walls just reaching out. So as you can imagine, the shower is equally tiny. And in the shower, they give you a wand to get to those hard to reach places. Oh, like you can pull it off the wall. Oh, I see. Right, a shower wand. Well, I'm going to shower and I'm thinking I want to get myself as clean as possible.
I want this wound to heal up as quickly as it can because, you know, I've got to perform on my honeymoon. Yeah, you got to get back to it. Back in the saddle. I'm cleaning myself up and I have this great idea. I'm going to clean that area specifically. So I pull myself a little tight down there and I spray the wand on it. The water pressure from the wand...
Hits right on this rug burn spot and immediately starts gushing blood.
Oh my God. You've opened up the wound.
Yeah, and it's right on a vein. I'm not talking a little bit of blood. I'm talking, imagine you're peeing, but it is solid red. I mean, it is just a pressurized bead of red coming out of my dick.
God, these penises are so fragile.
They will give, yes. And I am aghast. I don't know what to do. Honestly, my first thought, embarrassingly, is my wife doesn't need to know about this. She already knows I'm wounded down there. So if I can just get the bleeding to stop, She doesn't need to know about this. We'll just move on with life. Okay.
And it gets there.
So I go grab a massive wad of toilet paper. I mean, I'm talking 30 sheets at least. And I go to stick it under there. It turns into a mushy mess of nothing in seconds.
This is scary.
Exactly. And so now I'm panicked. So now it's time to call the wife in and tell her I'm having an emergency.
I call her in. She walks in and it looks like a war zone. I mean, there's blood all over the walls. It's everywhere. She handles it well. She goes and she calls the cruise site nurse team. She calls the nurse team down and this little nurse comes in and same thing. She opens the door. She looks at me and she just has this look of horror when she looks into this bathroom.
She gives me a one inch thick stack of that heavy duty gauze that's designed to stop bleeding. She says, put this on there, apply pressure. I'll be right back. I'm going to go get a wheelchair, some more supplies. We'll wheel you down to the infirmary. She's gone maybe just a few minutes. By the time she has come back, I have bled through this stack of gauze.
There's literally blood dripping out the bottom of this stack of gauze.
Faced off the area of the injury, I am trying to avoid that as much as I can. And so she has me throw that away. She hands me a new stack of gauze, tells me to apply pressure again. I've put a shirt on, I'm on the wheelchair, and they're wheeling me down to the infirmary.
Surprisingly, basically no paint. Oh! No, no, no, no. Pants. Pants. Pants. No pants. Just a towel covering my legs.
Oh, okay. But you are covered at least with a towel.
But it is awkward. You're going through the halls of this cruise ship and there's all these people looking at you. At first glance, they really have no idea what's wrong, but I'm sitting there just freaking the hell out.
It's a scene. I wish the story ended there. So she wheels me down to the infirmary. And luckily by this point, I got about three quarters of the way through the second thing of gauze and the bleeding has stopped. The doctor on site is taking a look at this injury. Of course, it's a girl doctor too, but I've got no shame. You know, what am I going to do at this point?
But she looks at it and she says, well, we've got to close this. It could reopen at any point. You're going to be right in the same situation. And so she says, well, I'd like to just use a stitch. But on this part of your body, it's very prone to expansion and contraction. So we don't want to use a stitch. So what we're going to use is a chemical cauterization. Oh. Glue. Not exactly.
Chemical cauterization is they apply two inert chemicals to your body. Chemical A doesn't do anything by itself. Chemical B doesn't do anything by itself. But when they come in contact with each other, it melts your skin back together.
That's what he said. Literally what he said.
It's the exact phrase he used.
Yeah, no, you're good. She lays me back onto the table. There's no anesthetic. Oh! And she gives me a rubber stick to bite onto.
Yeah. I was kind of under the impression that many people have bitten down on this rubber stick before. Oh, no. It was definitely like in the top shelf of the supplies, you know, like, oh, we need this every day. Oh. And so she does that, has me grab my wife's hand. And I'm telling you guys, I bet my screams are still reverberating through that cruise ship. Oh, wow.
I can't begin to describe the amount of pain that having your dick skin burned back together feels like. Oh, my God.
Oh, I wish this on no one.
More or less, yeah. She said no sexual activity for a couple weeks. Obviously, it's going to kind of expand on its own every once in a while. There's not a lot you can do about that.
Yeah, and you're on a cruise.
Oh, wow.
Luckily, the cruise to Alaska, not a lot of women in bikinis, but still something to concern yourself with.
Oh, they get you excited, don't they?
I thought you were making a euphemism for vagina.
It healed well. I had no lingering injuries, a little bit of scarring, but you'd have to know what you were looking for.
That's what I was thinking when she had to hold his hand.
Yeah. And that's what I always tell people. I've told this story to people over the years. And, you know, if it wasn't exciting, you wouldn't remember it.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope it makes it onto the episode.
Awesome. While I still got a second, I'm just going to shout out my good buddy, Casey, who got me into your show and encouraged me to share my story.
I'm so glad he did. That's a doozy. That's a good one.
A few weeks ago, he sent the link. He was like, cruise stories.
Have a great day.
Yeah, I'm calling in.
I haven't been on a one.
They go now.
She is tall for her age. She's only 12. I have a question for you. I was getting a massage recently. This was weird. In the middle of the massage, the massage therapist said, can I ask you something personal? And this was while she was mid massage. And I said, sure.
And she said, do you like being called Monica? Yeah. I was like, yeah. And she was like, cause my name is Monica and I love it. Every Monica I meet is just so great. And I was like, yeah, it's a great name. It really caught me off guard. And would you have liked that?
Oh, wow. We just had this conversation about nicknames, Monica nicknames.
Except this one that stops in the middle of a massage.
I did. Brian Luttrell. Yeah, Brian was everyone's fave.
He was my fave, too. Are you going to see them at the Sphere? You should. Maybe when we get to the end of the story.
I don't think I've heard it, no.
That's a good vocab word.
Oof. Didn't make me want to go on a cruise, I'll tell you that.
Well, I'm sorry that happened, but that was a delight to hear about.
Thank you.
I wonder nowadays if everyone just goes on cruise ships with, like, is Zofran the same as Dramamine? Could you take both?
It really should.
Yeah. I also, when we went to Napa, the first thing we did was we went to this winery and it was up a very...
very curvy yeah and you zofrand i zofrand and thank god because i still felt awful you did even with it and if i hadn't had it it would have been like that cruise oh my god it was so funny everyone's got barf bags with the backstreet boys if you're the backstreet boys and you're up there and everyone's just puking and are they not puking right oh boy all right love you love you
And she loved it.
Oh, good. My parents have gone on a couple and they love it.
Well, a shell.
Pfft.
You can listen to this one.
Oh, no.
Oh, wow.
Oh, yeah.
Did you just do it?
There's fluids.
Oh, God.
Oh yeah, I don't know Ziggy.
Yeah, back on that horse.
I was going to say any nurses. Nurses would have been a great meet-cute. No.
You still came out on top.
Yeah, that would be a very interesting experiment.
Take care.
That was cute.
Because they're so rare. They're limited edition.
Okay, comment if you don't like identical twins.
They think they're demons.
That is indeed the explanation.
Demon. Or this one was so good that God had to make two.
And when they say yum, I love it. I've never had anything so good. Yes.
That's really what it is.
Thank God.
I know.
Exactly.
I know. But imagine you've made turkey. You've made a big cloud potatoes. You've made a sweet potato dish. You made stuffing. And you did it by yourself. And people are like... How did you do this? Can you imagine that feeling?
This year.
You can also tell by seconds and thirds, right?
Uh-huh.
Then they don't like it.
I understand.
Oh, I'm so excited.
That's Monsgiving. And then we do our Thanksgiving, which is the best day of the year. This is my happiest time of year. I have Monsgiving. Then I have our pot Thanksgiving, which is the best, secret turkey. Then I have Black Friday with Callie. That's a tradition.
Who are they playing on Thanksgiving?
It's Rob versus Dax.
I'm obviously voting for Chicago.
Yeah, I have to as a payback.
You're going to be great. Thank you. I need it.
Yeah, especially from smart, cute, nice Virgos. Yeah.
You too.
I really want stuffing now.
Remember one time I made it and I had to make it in a huge... I didn't have a vessel big enough. And so I used this thing I got at the flea market to... That is like kind of something I guess you'd put wine bottles in or something. I cleaned it really well, but I was a little nervous because it was from the flea market. You know, I was like, is it?
I'll line it with wax paper before I put the mixtures in and mix it all up. Wax paper completely started disintegrating. And so... And so it was like kind of in there. No, it wasn't leeching. It was just, I thought I would just pull it out and I couldn't. And then there were pieces of wax paper and I, you ate some.
Sure, sure, yeah.
Then Saturday, I have pig day with Jess, where we get my Christmas tree.
Hi.
Right. Really something.
I will.
Man, whoever branded Buc-ee's really did a great job.
And tell me about that.
That's cute.
That's cute.
No, no. My friend has this thing where his throat has webbing in it. Is that what you have?
Isn't that so funny how people build these things in relationships and they don't transfer over?
Exactly.
Are you able to talk? Can you talk when this is happening or no?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
But the things you and Aaron joke about and stuff, do you want to be doing that with everybody else and it's just not working? Or you really only do that there?
It's just like you keep putting stuff down.
Such a nightmare. Did you think like I should go to the bathroom and deal with this or no?
At a fancy, formal Thanksgiving.
Is that man okay?
Also, someone just threw up at the table. I feel like everyone was like, I'm going to take a minute also to eat because I'm not hungry.
Again? New plate.
Oh, I'm so embarrassed. Like, I feel the heat.
Oh, see.
No, like he's sick.
He is a sick boy. And you brought him here and he has a stomach bug.
That's what I would go to if this was happening.
Your children like Buc-ee's.
They like 12 point Bucs. So now you've been around that family a lot.
I think you should try a new doctor and tell them about the webbing. I think you have that. There's almost like little, not spikes, but sort of that grow in. So a lot of food gets caught.
Wow, that's me.
Oh, that's fair.
Okay, I'm going to ask my friend what the name of that disease is.
Ew. Ew. Why are you doing it?
Could he drink?
No, no. It was fluids.
I'm asking, was he able to just like drink water normally?
Yeah, that's interesting. Because I don't think so. I think what's born in the space between two people is very unique. I never try to like pull in what it was funny over there into a different relationship.
I was just stuck with like Slim Fast or something.
That was disgusting.
Oh.
He was in one of those things where it was not going to stop, lest you appear.
No way! You got us all.
Six Flags doesn't meet, it buys. Okay, well, okay, let's not talk about that.
Oh my God. Yeah. And you, you're allergic to him now.
Oh, wow.
Stop saying meat. Stop saying that.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, you've talked about that.
That's funny.
Stop being a baby.
Are you feeling woozy? Are you feeling like you're starting to lose it?
Lori Loughlin, Massimo.
Didn't mean to gaslight you. This is very serious.
Yeah.
Yeah, it looks like a gurney-ish on this picture.
That's great.
No, I like this part that you're aware like, oh boy.
Yeah. It's here.
Oh.
I am not listening.
He doesn't need to know it's full of meat.
It's a good episode. We are thankful for our Armchair Anonymous listeners and our Armcherries.
We appreciate it.
We'll do.
Wow. Wow.
No, no. That's why I think saying dads in general, maybe not men.
Sure, that's a big tradition for people, yeah.
It's like when you guys play volleyball.
You guys are all like really limping around.
Well, Monsgiving is its own thing.
Yes.
I'm thinking it was that phenomenon. I think it was that. Plus, this is the fault of the physics lab.
Hard times come and go Hi there. Hi, nice to meet you. What a dazzling closet you're in. Lots of stimuli.
Oh, my God.
You needed the sleep.
Women need a lot of sleep. That's the thing is you guys are acting like 930 so crazy.
I do a day where I cook for only, sorry, sorry. No one's mad. Sorry, guys. I only cook for like eight people because so far in my current kitchen, that's all I can do.
Remember one time, though, the night I got my COVID booster at like 1130, I woke up to banging and you were at my door. Do you remember that?
You don't remember. But a bunch of people, bunch of people were calling.
That was a different time.
another false alarm everyone was panicked but eventually i guess i heard the door banging but i probably wouldn't have if i wasn't already coming out of sleep or like maybe you were coming out of it at 9 30 when you're in that deep sleep rem cycle maybe dax you just never reached i think that is the case yeah i don't think i'm ever there
That was cool.
I know.
For all these people who act like their internet's bad, it's like our boat lady had great internet.
No more excuses, guys.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Do you want to say anything else?
At least it was your birthday.
You slept through the whole day? Yeah.
I'm glad you're sober.
Bye, I love you.
To be fair, in my armoire, my shelf has collapsed also, and I'm also not doing anything about it.
Yeah, that's something for us to think about because then is that just Thanksgiving again, right?
Mom started the day before. Yeah, you got to start sometimes two days.
Yeah, for your stock.
So I invite eight people over pre-Thanksgiving. It's happening this year on this Friday. Oh, okay. Yeah. And well.
Well, for the listeners, it was already Friday.
Last Friday.
Anyway, and I make Alison Roman's Thanksgiving.
I make the whole thing.
I already had a big issue with turkey.
Not in Monica's.
I love rotisserie chicken, but it's not as good as when I make a full chicken.
You've obviously never had my chicken. That's fine. But I agree with you. They have good stuff, but not on Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving, you don't want to go store-bought, with the exception of some people like the cranberry in the jar.
Yeah, that's Mandela effect.
You gotta rip it up and then it dries. I'm so hungry.
Do you want me to make some turkey legs and bring them and see?
Yeah.
Oh, my God. Well, I'm so sorry about this horrible, horrible disaster.
I'm not sure how that's going to go.
Shout out Grady Hospital.
Shout out Ted.
We love this. Congratulations.
I've been.
They do them in the South a lot. They put it all on newspaper and then you eat it.
They don't have good hygiene.
Oh, yours is fancier than the one I went to then.
Do you think the bear would have left after it ate its dinner?
But they don't really want to interact with people, right? They will if there are people there. Right.
Well, I was about to say people are scared of L.A. because of the fires. And they're like, I'm going to move. Everywhere has something that's going to get you. We have beds and fires. Okay.
And pedophiles and criminals. Just like everywhere. Gangs. Yeah.
That is a weird sim because the other day we had an earthquake.
Yeah, I was in my bed. The earthquake happened and I was just wearing underwear. And I was like, I'm putting pants on. If there's going to be more tonight and I got to like run outside or something, I can't be in my undies.
Okay. So every time there's a little earthquake, I think... I need to double check again about what you're supposed to do.
I know it's the doorframe, but being on the first floor, I'm like, is that going to do anything? Yeah, I think it will. Really?
Also, I've heard that. And I'm like, do you just run outside?
That's a good plan.
Yeah. Oh, God.
Tell us about the time you were attacked, Rob.
This is foreshadowing.
Oh my God. Okay.
Oh, we're excited.
Hi.
Wow. Oh, my goodness. You're there for a while.
Okay, let's hear your story.
These are scary.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Animals are not to be fucked with, you guys.
I get both because your dad's like, we're just living. It was an accident.
Oh, wow. No kidding.
But you're the only one that got attacked. That I know of. Wow. Well, yikes. I'm glad you're okay.
Yeah, they had bigger fish to fry.
Yeah, they take over.
Good.
Megan. Are you wearing a sweatshirt? Oh, look at you.
It was an accident.
No, maybe they just like it and think everyone should wear it.
I know. I mean, you can't. What do we expect?
Thank you. I'm excited to wear it so we can all match.
Really nice meeting both of you. Thank you so much.
Little armchair family.
She had the merch.
She bought Cookie Boy because she loved it.
It is good.
We need to put out to the armcherries what they want to see on a shirt.
Oh, yeah. But we'll have more. Yeah.
So they should tell us what they want.
We forget a lot of stuff. We forget.
Yeah. I'll probably say it on the fact check, but for these listeners. I did reach out to the person who I saw online.
Really good. You can't listen, but it's great.
I DM'd.
Yes, a very, very kind response, but he does have a girlfriend. Oh! Yeah, I think it was very nice.
I'm not going to expose him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't want to say.
Well, it's vulnerable, but I did it. And I'm proud I did it. I wish it had gone differently, obviously. But it affirmed that he is the type of person that I would like.
Oh, just two.
If you're on that competition squad, you had some skills we've met before. This is so crazy.
Big twist.
Oh, wow.
No, chihuahuas are also vicious.
There's a fair amount of gunshots that come through Grady.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
I mean, you asked.
We learn so much.
Oh, it goes in. Ew.
It's raw.
Yeah, no one can listen to this episode.
That's actually interesting. Do you think delivery people have an obligation to like report?
Yeah. We have to call 911 if we see something really bad.
Okay. Well, yeah, you got to be smart to do that.
Oh, God, stay away from the projects.
Take care, Chris. I think it's something like taking a shortcut is the fastest way to the back of the line.
This is great. I'll wear it.
I have to.
They're not. They're old and stinky.
Let's do it yourself.
Oh, fathers are funny.
You are all the same. And you're always trying to play with your trinkets and put trinkets up. You call them tools, but really they're trinkets.
Hi.
Yes, yes. Oh, wonderful. Short for Christine or Christina? Yes.
One of my best friend's name is Chris. Short for Christina.
Uh-huh. With a K, but you're with the C?
Yeah, not a great look.
What a disaster. Just for some baseboards.
I don't mean to pat myself on the back, but I don't suffer from this. Yeah, you really shine. I am very fast to just ask someone to please come take care of, in fact, everything.
You gotta know your lane in this life.
A woman too. Clint Eastwood. Oh, he said that?
Yeah, know your lane.
Yeah, I guess so.
It's true.
DIY. That was a good one.
All right.
Oh, no. Who? Martha Stewart?
I don't think they would have really understood Mother Nature also, to be fair.
You're not getting your deposit back.
Oh, I just hate a maggot.
Snakes up the bottom.
They go up there.
Yeah, you didn't know they were in there.
Maggots might even be worse.
Yes. There's something about them and you can't get control of them and they're slimy and ugh.
Ew, why? Why?
What more do you want me to do? You made me listen. Oh, that was healthy.
Kegs and oh, yeah. Maggots.
Why?
Hello.
Oh, I like that.
What's your favorite? Name that tune, Chris.
Everyone did a great job.
Life is hard.
Bon Ami?
Oh, I think it's that. I think it might be how cultured the airport is.
It's very Bon Ami.
Exactly.
Of course you do. It's the only one that works. It really is. And your teeth are sparkling white. Thank you. That's so nice. I feel so validated.
I'm proud of you. I'm glad you're staying away.
Don't test fate again.
What a story. That is going to sit with everyone.
Yeah, you were attacked by a monster.
Thank you for sharing that. That was really harrowing.
What a batch of stories you guys gave us this year.
We're lucky to have you. We're lucky to still have you here.
Yeah. Have a great rest of your day. We appreciate it.
I have a feeling your story is going to have to do with the shirt you're wearing. I don't know if we're allowed to say.
Yeah, we shouldn't say.
Every time. Oh, that's so nice.
Yeah, we're excited.
How long did you think it was? Were you like, this is over a day?
I just want to hear it.
No, that's disgusting.
No, that's so disrespectful.
Wait, no you don't. No one sees Dax's point on this.
Well, that's fine. That's different.
Okay. Just a eating ceremony. You're probably not going to be doing that.
Dudes need to get their shit together.
I know. Oh, my God.
Thanks for sharing that.
There are other humans on Earth.
There sure is. Chocolate's done a great job marketing to lovers.
Oh, my goodness. That sounds nice.
Yeah, that's a good one. I'm starting to journal more.
I love electrolytes. We all know this. This is tried and true.
I'm a veil. Okay, go on.
No, she said the week before.
What do you think people saw if it was facing the ceiling? Do you think they just heard? So they just heard. Okay. Thank God.
You too. Okay. Bye-bye.
This was really hard to narrow down. And again, like the other ones, there's just a million amazing stories this year. We can only pick a few.
But Tim's the friend. Yeah, okay.
Well, yeah, you can't stop.
He climbed out of the wall.
A car literally drove through a house.
But it would be so confusing because it's not like a robbery. There is no way to piece together what could have possibly.
I love that you were relieved that it was a car. Oh, I would have been too.
Very Stephanie Tanner from Full House. She drove the car.
No, unfortunately, just childish.
Oh, I have a feeling this story is about... Their own.
This is like an America's Funniest Home Video.
So he was covered in the poop when he was in the sheets? Oh. There was just poop stains like poop juice all over the sheets.
By the way, when we got on with you and we said we were just talking about naughty stuff, it was anal.
We don't know if it was morning or night.
I wonder if there was any poop on any of the stuff.
You got eyes on that. I got eyes on all of it. It was pretty nasty. And would you also describe it as juice? Yeah, I would say juice and then some.
Oh, they probably watched that over and over and over again.
Did they have at that time on the treadmills, the pole? You know, now they have that pole.
Oh, because, yeah, you're supposed to wear it.
If I was your sister, come across the room.
I really want to see this ping pong person.
Well, that was fun.
Exactly. Unless there's an earthquake.
Yeah, you have kind of a Steve Carell.
Yeah. And then with Steve Carell.
You know, we used to call Delta Munchie Cheese.
She did. She had a little one.
Tell people Steve Carell.
Yes, thanks for sharing.
Rob, our burritos are ready.
Sometimes people just say it.
Yeah, that's the good news about these stories. We do know everyone's made it.
Wow. Not as romantic as I thought it would be.
Oh, I love it. I was about to say this looks like a show.
You couldn't miss it. It was front and center. And that's flaccid because he definitely wasn't hard while he was on fire.
Except it seems like the one on fire is actually the one that was mad.
You guys are like not into it.
I think it was another Armchair Anonymous person.
Yeah, like Only Murders in the Building.
No!
I know.
No one can listen to this.
Do you want to show your tattoo?
I thought it was going to be that he cut off his legs and he put horse legs on.
Monica, that's a very... Because of the hay. Oh, my God.
He wanted to become a centaur. He was a little mentally ill.
Yeah, exactly.
Some people are A24V, and that's cool. Actually, it's cool because A24, actually, it's really cool.
I know so many people born on my birthday.
Not V. Fuck, visa only.
We need to blow up this ambulance.
That's really out of a... Someone will have cut off their legs and put horse legs on it.
Who could be ready for that? I wouldn't put it past somebody.
I don't know because I didn't take it out. Okay, yeah.
There's three options. There's a wine bottle corked, there's an empty wine bottle, and there's a wine bottle that you drank some and then you put the stopper in.
You're gonna love it.
Have a great day. Likewise.
It'll be me calling into every single episode. You know, that drive back is, I think, intense because Che Che, the four year old who died of AIDS.
George Clooney and a woman medical student. They were the ones dealing with Che Che and then he died and then they had to have sex to feel better.
Yeah.
Yeah, do you know Ben and Matt?
I know.
Now that you have the last name, it makes sense.
Is she a nun or something?
Like, what's going on?
The opposite situation.
Impressive parking skills.
No. Wow. This is such a left turn.
Oh, my God. That's crazy. Was she in a wheelchair from that event with the leg?
Or do you think she did it on purpose to sue the ATV company?
Oh, you think it's wild? She murdered her grandma.
So this is all alleged.
Allegedly.
Or she was on opiates.
And was able to ride on it. That's something that I didn't consider.
No, we need to know.
The nicest murder. That's what they'll call the doc.
You really got taken advantage of a little bit. Not taken. That's not the word. You really got tricked.
Are you going to re-up?
Wow.
Well, thanks for that story. That was wild.
I forgot to ask him if he's watched The Pit.
Oh, my God.
Obviously. I think actually tonight is the finale of The Pit.
I hate it, but I love it.
I, there's a, yeah, we'll talk about it.
All right.
Oh my God.
You can't listen to it. You just like absolutely cannot listen to it.
Oh my God.
And how did he get that high up?
Me too. It's wild.
I would just think you'd get slowed down by your body getting out of the window.
This is very ER. This is very the pit. I love it. I mean, I'm sorry for that guy.
That's what the job is. You RSI.
That's a lot.
Thanks for sharing that.
Have a great rest of your day.
Bye. I don't want anyone to have hero complexes, but I also get it.
Because it is attractive when someone's a hero. Of course. I just watched an episode of ER.
I'm sorry you guys aren't going to be able to listen. Don't enjoy first responders.
George Clooney rescued this boy. He was stuck in a, like, sewer tunnel, and then it was starting to flood, and he was trying to pass out. He got him out just in time, but then the water rushes, and he can't find him, and then he finds him, and he lifts him up, and he's a hero. He was a hero.
That's where I met Ted, my AAA driver, who is an angel. I do feel guilty because we haven't reconnected. I haven't called him.
You don't have a hero complex.
Now, not to be stupid, not to like, but did you feel that these people that you came across were potentially unhoused or on drugs?
Yeah, I'm so sorry to impose it.
Yeah, that's a good one. I'm starting to journal more.
I love electrolytes. We all know this. This is tried and true.
We also know from the stalking episodes, they can't do anything unless it's already happened, unfortunately. And because I didn't go on the bike ride, I don't have anything to report.
Well, you did the right thing the whole time. It sounds like you kept yourself safe.
Oh, I should have known that.
I don't know all about, but I know enough that I should have gotten that. And I'm embarrassed and I'm going to cut it out.
I was at Molly's gym and she has a Peloton. And every time I'm there, I try to sneak up there and get a little workout. Steal a little sash. Steal a sash because it is so fun.
Yes. And any chance you can make working out fun, I'll take it.
There's criminals out there, you guys. Spoiler alert.
Quince is amazing.
I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater for me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
Oh, you got two out of three.
That's so fun. I believe in manifesting. Well, I do now.
Oh, my God.
I. My apartment.
Also, how would he get it in if he couldn't get it out?
But he said he couldn't get it out without taking apart the TV.
You feel validated in your own choices in life. It's like, oh, I didn't pick this horrible person. That's what the relief really is. My judgment isn't this bad.
And I didn't say it. You did.
So she's like kind of Munchausen-sy, I guess, a little bit. He sucks, but she probably sort of infected him.
The system.
A lot of these stories are people making lemonade out of bad, rotten lemons.
You should tell her it was the mom.
Well, don't you think she would straight up say in the message, look, he's a con man with his mom.
I know it sounds crazy, but it's real.
That's really something.
Oh, that's chilling.
It also confirms the wrong view you have of yourself. Like, oh, yeah, this thing I thought I was unlovable. I guess I am because this was the proof. It's cruel.
We already know that.
You're tough.
What a story. Thanks for sharing.
Maybe. Although with Phoenicia, he was just handsome. It's just sad that people...
And it's not a reflection of you.
But it's really hard to see that in the moment.
Not yet.
You're right. It wasn't a resolution. In fact, I think I knocked on wood yesterday. Okay.
But maybe I'm cutting back.
Love you.
You love seeing bad women.
Look, everyone's capable of all things.
Normally.
Me too. Also, shame on you for pushing him out the window.
Yeah.
It wasn't when I was there and I haven't heard anything. So hopefully not.
Yeah, thank you.
Oh my God, snow?
How fun.
A new app.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
If you run into any hot professors, send them my way.
I deserve to be taken down a peg.
From what I'm seeing, it looks beautiful. I mean, little brothers are beautiful.
Oh, congratulations.
Oh, I hate to say little brother energy, but that reeks a little.
Thank you.
Oh, how fun.
No, it's very.
No, he sounds fun.
I do too. I want to be proven wrong.
Oh.
I think I've been to the Abbey once. So maybe you'd have a great memory.
Tell that to Michelle Kwan.
Me too. And just laying there and someone would have to collect them. Luckily, they're already on ice.
Yeah. I don't think it's for you.
No. I ripped my hamstring. That's the worst thing that's happened.
I wasn't allowed to go to the doctor because I had to compete, and they would have said I can't. But I heard it rip. It was really bad. But no breaks.
Yes, so nice to meet you. Can I give a shout out to my friend?
Yeah, I love that. Is she so cool like you? She is the coolest.
Thank you.
It's falling apart. Oh, I thought they found a book at a garage sale and the character's name like yours.
Oh, you're going to start a beef.
Oh, no. One of the kids' parents in school.
Yeah.
So this was a typo.
And he's like, I was invited.
OK, but if he did go, would he be in trouble since he was invited? No.
And he's at the end of his day, so he's ready to get back out there.
I mean, a Hard Rock Cafe birthday, yeah, that's fancy.
Oh my God.
He's kind of the jinx-y.
Yeah. And you think like, he's 80. It's fine, but it's not fine.
Did you consider moving the location?
That's a great, also cautionary tale.
True. She could save the day.
Wow.
Oh, pedophiles.
Well, you know, these children, they're wild.
It really is.
I do, too.
I had a really fun fondue party for my sweet 16.
It was nice.
And then she didn't marry you?
Oh, then it seems like she did the right thing. She stuck to her promise.
Well, you really swung in the other direction.
Okay.
And you just don't know what's going to happen.
Yeah, that feels fair.
Yeah, because he's tiny now.
But it felt below you.
Exactly.
I hope to get a wet towel this time.
That was really nice of him.
It is your fault that you made her stand up on that chair, though.
These are the lessons we learn in life. You came out really unscathed, I gotta say.
I'm surprised the meal wasn't free.
Thank you for that story.
Who is this cutie pie?
Noah said it the other day and it was so cute.
I like the setup. It looks profesh.
No, no, no. It takes him a long, long time to get that middle syllable. That's a hard one.
Manka and Mama Ma.
I didn't get targeted, but I'm surprised.
Oh, she's always looking out.
She is. You know, I take her for her birthday.
And Target. The year before that, we had lumped in Christmas and her birthday. And so Lincoln, we all went. This year, we didn't do that. And so I took her. And then on the way home, she said, do you take Lincoln on a shopping spree for her birthday? And I was like, well, no, I don't. Something that we just started for me and you, but maybe I should start doing that. And she was like, yeah.
Instead of just being like, I get this special thing.
She's very rare.
But it makes me think, then I need to give you a shopping spree every day. Like you deserve so many shopping sprees.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
I missed out.
I guess I don't. It's a wonderful gig.
I'm going London.
Because that blue door felt very London to me.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Also, if this really was you, let's say it's you.
Can you imagine the kind of guilt because your life is really good and your children's lives are really good and to think, well, what happened to that kid and what if they didn't end up in as good of a situation?
That's why this stuff gets tricky.
But your parents didn't know that?
I'm scared to find stuff out on there, though. It's hard to find a partner. If I really fell in love with someone, I would not want to find out they were my full brother. It's better to not know that. I just don't want to know.
Thank you guys so much. All right.
These are surprisingly happy stories. I know.
Me too. But I want some bad ones.
Well, it could have gone incest.
What's that mean?
Oh, this is exciting. I'm nervous.
I was going to say something. I'm engorged.
Oh, you're like, oh my God.
Okay, exciting.
Don't do that.
I noticed today you wanted to clear and you didn't.
He's taken one.
I think we're still giving off laid back vibes.
You gotta listen.
But there could be big R, little r, big R, little r, making two little r's. So then there could technically be a combination.
Yeah. Right.
This really is. This is the most interesting meet-cute I've ever heard.
It's a creative license.
That might be the subtitle on it.
Thank you for telling us that story. And thanks for doing it this way. This was fun to have both of you.
You gotta listen to this one.
Thank you so much for having us.
Bye. Wow. Meat cuteler.
But it worked out.
Wow.
I mean, the only reason I think to tell her is like she is a medical marvel.
Literally. I mean, there probably is just 50 cases this has ever happened.
Growing up though, did you think you and your twin had twin abilities?
Right.
Really? Ever?
I'll be thinking about that one for a while. That one's going to stick.
Have a great day.
Thank you. Bye. This one really got out of hand.
I'm sweating.
Yeah, they really did.
Yeah, oh my God. A show. Bonne amie.
Are you going to go look into your DNA?
Who are my everyone?
Are you my mom? Yeah, it's a great book. Are you my mother or something?
I thought it was are you my mother. She has a turtle.
Mother? If you didn't grow up with them, they're your mother.
Are you my mother?
Yeah. There's a...
This is where in the TV show that you take the hair out of the hairbrush.
What's the feeling when you open it and you see it?
Oh, see, that's your ego. Yeah. I would feel deceived. Not by the kid, but by the partner.
Yeah.
I don't think your feelings towards her would change at all.
Careful what you joke about.
I'm going to look in the camera.
Oh, so nice to meet you.
Thank you so much.
What a nice woman. A good person for that to happen to. Great reaction. Because that could really take someone down.
I would have a very hard time with that. Luckily, I look like my parents almost exactly.
I wouldn't be mad at anyone, but I would feel untethered. I don't even know who I really am.
But I just think then that would be very telling for nurture. Obviously, they are my parents. So none of this is helpful. So knock on wood, they're my parents. Also, I just read something recently that made me upset. It's a ding, ding, ding to this. Green eyes are the most rare.
I just wanted it then.
I want it.
Can you check with her about how she did that? You could have had them.
You're right. You have to have both recessive.
Because they both have little R's.
I like R's.
I think so too. But that was so fun making those little squares. Yeah.
She looks like a spa.
It definitely has to do with.
Oh, my God. Do not do that. Just go to your nearest Six Flags. There's one closer.
It's Six Flags over Cedar Point.
They're kind of permanent.
Oh, they did this for us to save our relationship.
So... Make sure it's not like Brandon or some sort of... Oh, I don't think... It just says Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy on it.
I don't think that's what she wanted.
That's all they had.
What's his riz? Like, why is she so obsessed?
Trusted brand.
Ready for the cooler months.
It's had a real resurgence. I was just at a friend's house in Georgia and all the kids were playing this.
Yes, and it looked fun.
No. Amazing. Which...
Did you feel like after Pitch Perfect, everyone was saying that to you? Like, oh my God.
Oh my God, well, you sound amazing. I'm having a real-time realization.
I cannot believe I have not put this together before. the thing the song that i've listened to probably the most in my life is you and justin timberlake singing true colors and i just now i'm realizing that that's you because now i know you to some extent that i i've like removed that as put it in its own compartment i used to watch that video on repeat
We've talked about it, but I didn't realize it was our friend Anna Kendrick. I mean, I did realize, but this Monica did not realize it in her heart until right this second. Wait, when you say the video, are you talking about the Cannes performance? There was a performance you guys did. I just watched it on YouTube over and over and over and over. Yeah, we were both really sick. Oh my God.
Were you sitting there standing?
Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Jingle, jingle.
It's like Bill Gates' pseudonym.
Not me, man. I'd like to throw in in the mix. Please. That we got you a chandelier. Oh. From Paris. Now that I remember.
Oh, these are pieces of shit, these files. Yeah. They're like Easy Bake Ovens, essentially.
Yeah, they come out and they go all the way up into your, they? Do they come out your butt?
Was he wearing a Speedo?
Also a 1920s Spanish style villa.
Well, he told us that he just shaved his pubic hair.
Oh, that's so cool because we've done it before and we really loved what we learned. Also, do it as a family or like as a friendship. It's really fun because you get your results and you can read them together. It's fun.
One time, you did it one time into a landing strip for funnies.
Okay. Sounds lovely. Wow. A buffet. People can pee if they need to. Wow.
Oh, interesting.
I always thought it was two words. It is. Oh, it is. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Of course. Who doesn't love that?
Both are absolutely delicious. Our listeners have heard a lot about the spaghetti. So I want them to, it's good that they get to see it.
In action. It's incredible.
That's what I would do, a pair of shoes I love. What's Panda Prank?
I love Justine's.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't know what happened. Theatrical. Yeah.
With the fur. Oh, there's a platform for you, Shorty. Platform is great. Those are sweet. Who's talking? I love a platform, too.
Thank you. Wait, but in the meantime. I don't need things.
I buy my own things. Oh, sweet, the original mouse. Dax drew this. And I used it on my gift guide and now it's on our sweatshirt for this year.
I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.
This was the original drawing. I love it. Thank you so much. What does it say? The world's all time most special mouse, in quotes. Sometimes I think you guys forget this is a podcast. Because we didn't say those were AirPods.
Oh my God, these feel amazing. Also, if we're not doing a good job talking about the items, I guess you should just watch it on YouTube.
Yeah, I want, yeah.
Also, the present I got you two, I need you to open at the same time.
It's really nice.
We have a lot more. I got presents for you too.
Thank you so much.
Good old wrapping.
Ladies first. It's from Wobby Wob. Hollis.
He is the amazing.
Oh, he is. Which is so cute.
Kind of like the hat on the hat. Is there gonna be another?
And this paper is a smell-o-graph.
Pass it. Yeah, pass it.
You guys, that's what it's called.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's my dream come true. Is that a real picture? No. Yeah, I spent time.
In my dreams. Oh, and it's a picture. It's a picture of me. Okay, for the listener and not the viewer. There's a sweater coming. Oh, thank you. Oh, my gosh. How sweet. But this is the real gift. It's a picture of me with Mary-Kate and Ashley, and I look like I'm friends with them. You're in the sweater. It's so cute.
That's great. I love it. And I'll buy these pants for sure. Okay, this one can live like that. And that's a manifest because they're going to come on at some point. Thank you, Rob. That's so sweet. Okay, now I need you guys to open. Go ahead, Rob. But can you open yours of this too? Well.
It's olive oil, but they were personalized.
You know what I like? I like a candy cane ornament. It's very classic.
Oh, that's great. Was that in eBay?
Oh, cool. Target had that?
Is it a smell of that?
Yeah, well, candy cane ornaments are really for colored lights.
That's so cool.
You're not going back in. What's the name of the artist, Rob?
You two have another one from me.
They're the white boxes.
Wait, I know this paper.
Well. Monica, they don't deserve this. No.
I mean also obviously we can return if things don't fit but it was imperative that everyone in this room had something from the row based on how much we talk about it beautiful you're welcome but if it doesn't fit obviously oh wow let me see oh yours okay yours a little thinner yours more of a springtime mine's more of a let's hit the slopes
That's beautiful. And I got a rose sweater, too. It all worked out.
I like to picture my whole year when I hear it.
The one I just had. It's bye. It's bye to the year.
And what's the verdict on this year? Oh, it was a complicated year. Yeah. But a good building year. Oh, cool. Building year. Wow.
It was a building year.
I really did.
Yeah. Another great year.
The big one? Oh, we should get... Erica, we have a closer. Yeah.
And if you listened to Synced, Erica had made an appearance on Synced, and people were like, she needs to be on every episode.
Well, Rob said he's going to ride it. Do you want this for when you ride it? He's going to ride it.
We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.
That doesn't align with your values. We squish back on it.
We made it happen.
It's a good time for Defiance. That's right, that's right. Tell us about your choir class.
You're not supposed to eat stuff from strangers.
Yes, thank you.
You're using your mic for bad.
Happy holidays. Love everyone here.
That's low money. That's really tasteless. I went to a children's hospital.
I'm so excited.
I hate it. Yeah, yeah. Yes.
I like Motrin.
I mean, I'm Motrin.
And we go, yeah, okay, you're sleeping.
I'm just Team Motrin. Stop trying to make me who I'm not.
That's true.
That was a bummer.
He missed an opportunity because, Easter egg, someone's coming here in a bit to help with the singing, whose son is a dancer.
He's 11. He's the best dancer in the world. And Perfect 10 Charlie, his father, posted a whole thing, a video and a whole thing about it. And he called himself a dance dad. And there's nothing hotter than a man calling themselves a dance dad. So your dad missed out. He could have been a dance dad and like that would have been hot. Cleaned up. Yes.
But you also want them to be opening the stuff.
Yes, yes.
Yep.
I like Motrin.
It's a good cautionary tale story as well for people.
I play.
That's fair. How would you have known?
I mean, I'm Motrin.
I'm just team Motrin. Stop trying to make me who I'm not.
They did this for us to save our relationship.
Uh-oh.
So it might be used. Yeah, I know what it is. Yeah, me too.
I knew it was ashes.
Because death was a part of this story.
Oh. Oh, God.
But then what does she get from it? The joy of a prank is to then be like, just kidding.
I like you. I'm very impressed. I know that I would have felt fucked with, especially if I was in the middle of grief myself and had lost my mom. And then I was having these ashes and I'd be like, oh, I guess I got to do the right thing, even though I don't want to do this. And I got to help this other person. And then it was all a lot. I would be so pissed. So I'm impressed.
Interesting.
Oh my God. Is it a famous painting?
Oh, God.
Oh, I'm so excited.
Wait, what happened? Did the fire, it was just from the fireplace?
Holy shit.
I mean, the whole house burning down.
And the car melting.
I mean, it really speaks to addiction in some ways because that wasn't his bottom and he kept going.
Yes. Big shout out. Thank you for sharing that.
That was a red herring.
100% someone was going to get stuck under there.
Yeah.
So they kept going back in there and doing it.
Oh, wow. More, more, more.
Oh, that's cool.
It actually says her name on it.
And it also says the name of the painting, but my eyes are bad.
How weird that he has the same one. How funny.
Yes, yeah.
Art.com, yeah. The dolly, like the melting clocks, and we didn't know it.
Anyway, well, happy holidays to all.
The whole thing was a cautionary tale.
Oh, my God. Yeah, that was Thanksgiving.
Uh-huh. That was funny.
Mimi, I don't remember. We've had some great stories over the years.
Yeah, you're aging very gracefully.
People got them.
We're good.
No.
These are vintage.
I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.
Trusted brand.
We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.
Ready for the cooler months.
It's had a real resurgence. I was just at a friend's house in Georgia and all the kids were playing this.
Yes, and it looked fun.
This is gorgeous.
OK, I think this is what I would have done. I would have written a note from Santa and it would have said something along the lines of Santa couldn't make it everywhere this year. And so he's coming back in a couple of days. OK.
And in the meantime, the elves dropped off some trinkets. But the real presents are coming in a couple of days because he got in over his head.
Rob, that's you. Do you think in the future our faces will look like that?
Yeah, with a letter in it.
I think in 100 years, that's what faces will look like. When the robots and the humans start having sex.
Oh, wow.
That must have been after his time.
He thinks he knows everything about Cedar Point.
And Six Flags, they have both. In one ride, they have both.
Oh, no.
She's a trooper.
No, she needs to be bulked up a little bit. I also love that your husband is looking happy in the pictures knowing that the daughter is like passed out.
No, he wasn't.
Wooden roller coasters are out.
No, I'm not. You're not an aficionado. Let me talk. Okay.
That's a great start. I didn't even know that.
We have wooden roller coasters at Six Flags. It's part of it. You got to write them. It's nostalgic. But it's not the one you tell people to go ride.
Nice nostalgia.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry. Actually, we should have been able to guess based on the prompt.
Do you know about the Gemini? I don't know about that one. It's wooden. That's probably why. Oh, okay.
I don't know about the church group talking about wet butt cuts. Well, you never know. You never know, but I guess it's good you asked.
Oh, we just heard about Millennium Force.
Okay. You did not want to take accountability.
There was another passing out situation.
Oh, wow. I would have liked that.
Someone could keep her food down.
They also never were going to let her go off to the beach on her own. She's part of a youth group.
We have that at Six Flags.
She could have.
Okay. That would have been great.
Falcon? Force.
It's been great because Dax doesn't know that one.
It seems like you would have remembered this ride. I guess so.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
With the doors open.
I know.
I'm sorry you didn't get to go to the tallest fastest.
At Cedar Point.
Shenanigans.
Take care. Have a good rest of your day.
All right. Well, so I'm just going to say that after this, I stand firm. I position on Cedar Point.
He loved it.
Well, he didn't say that.
I can't promise you that because I like to stick to my promises.
Oh, my God. Is that what I want to do? A place you don't even want to go. Exactly. Add something to my list that I don't want to do?
Okay. Right? Do you think that's a good rule? That's more like volunteering at a hospital.
Okay.
We did get just dropped off. Yeah, and it worked out. Six flags, much safer.
And then what do you do? Because everyone's screaming. This is like a comedy sketch.
Yeah.
Bathrooms. Bathrooms. That's all you have.
Oh, God.
Oh, I already forgot you were separated from the girls.
And no cell phones.
Okay, wow, that worked out.
You just have to wait it out.
I mean, they weren't watching the news at the campground.
Well, we don't know.
And poop pants.
Yeah, you love that.
Good.
Lord it over.
That guy looked like Will Hunting a little bit.
The other guy, the friend.
No, Will Hunting.
The vibe was kind of Will Hunting.
Secret genius. You got a genius vibe? Secret genius. Okay, listen. I had a thought during that.
Obviously, I checked out because this was a Cedar Point story.
Do you think that people were more religious pre-cell phone? Because you had to just pray instead of checking in on your sisters. Or calling for help. Or calling for help. You're like, Jesus, take the wheel, you know?
Okay.
Okay, but for a while it had decreased.
Since phones.
And then a steep decrease.
I'm a secret genius.
I'm a Willie.
I'm a Wilhelmina hunting.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Hmm, that's nice.
It's incredible.
It's pretty. It's effective. It's effective. Efficient.
I said 29. 29.
I turned 29 in a month. Holy shit!
Wow.
Brown out. That's what they call it.
What would have stopping even done? And then everyone knows still about the poop.
No one knows what to do.
Yeah.
Like a fucking three year old.
Like staring directly at it.
God, people do not know what to say.
It doesn't really roll off the top.
Oh, it was this time?
No, but we've said that before and then it's never him.
Oh, my God. He's ahead of his time.
Hi.
You mean Swiss cake rolls?
Interesting.
I am too. And even when you scramble it, it has a beautiful color.
I think he shouldn't mention it.
Well, she didn't say that. It was a little bit implied, but yeah. But now we know why.
I understand that you might think it, but I don't think you should ask.
So he asked you.
And he said, why is it so wet?
Well, I think you did feel it, which is why it was racehorse, as you say, territory. It probably made it better.
But it is.
Oh, my goodness. That sounds nice.
Did you consider saying, oh my God, babe, you shit everywhere. Jack. Oh my God. It's totally okay.
But wow, buddy, you really got it everywhere, but it's okay. Good job, Jack.
Oh, God. It's a disaster. Oh, God. Oh my God, I'm so stressed.
After he threw up everywhere?
Whatever. I'm just saying you can't then say don't be embarrassed after. You're of course going to be embarrassed.
Okay, great. Did he hold true to that?
What a story, though. I bet so many people have done this.
I'm excited to see how your height's going to impact the evacuation.
This is really fantastic.
The marinara analogy was really good. I can picture that. You know how it gets like behind the stove. How does it get behind the stove? It's so confusing.
Wow. That was spectacular. That was a big one.
Well, it's scary, too. It's like you just never know. You don't. Her stomach didn't even hurt.
Oof. You sent me a video of a woman shitting at a grocery store. Oh, yeah. And it's epic.
The like ice box, like open ice box in the middle.
It's so disgusting.
It was so practiced.
Maybe she's the one that did it at the dining hall.
Stop.
Yeah, I said, if I'm designing my kid, I'm making them have dimples and making you. How exciting.
No, because I hadn't until recently. So now it would be a lot. So, yeah, you're right.
I agree. There's the potential that we heard the craziest story we've heard or the most, the And also this particular group of armchairs, all four were incredible. They were incredible. Really special, fun group.
Because I think I might have gone to the milkshake and slipped.
And gotten it all over my pants.
Like, are you out in the Baskin Robbins? Like naked.
Oh, you went back? Oh my God.
Yes, I was going to. But we had a heading that was like, Alexander's no bad, very, whatever, that one. We did that once. This could have definitely been that. I thought the same thing.
You also just feel more human than you've ever, or more animalistic than you've ever felt.
Yeah. I was also on my period during my incident.
Yeah. You need to walk around with a helmet.
Yeah, you did.
Thank you.
Those were big ones. Biggies, not a dud in the group.
It does, but if we heard it every week, I would be sick of it.
This was great. They knocked it out. Knocked it out of the park. Thanks, Armcherry. All right, I love you. Love you.
Oh. Hold on a second. And you're staring at a bucket?
No. No, I did not. I just felt it kind of viscerally.
Because when I talk it. Okay.
There's a washing machine there. I might wash and stay.
Excuse me.
This is smart. It must be a smart school.
Yeah.
Wait, what color were the pants?
You'd prefer black, but sure.
It was a cough.
Also, your butt is like at most people's faces.
That's right. Plausible deniability.
I don't think it was yours.
I don't think it would have escaped the sock. You would have noticed it.
Oh, if I broke my arm on somebody's poop, oof.
Yeah, it's so good.
The smell and the look of it.
Oh, it was the stairs at the dining. Oh, no, it's definitely you.
Oh, my God.
Oh, let's write that down. That's a great idea.
Did you come clean?
He reminds me of Zach Woods.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God. He did have to. Yeah.
I have to wait to listen. Oh, this is exciting.
Quince is amazing.
Did you guys meet in college?
But we're not high school sweethearts.
I agree. Put that degree to use. Yeah, we were pretty good too.
Thanks for chatting with us. That was great. Thank you so much.
Mm-hmm. And we were just talking about redheads.
Oh, I should ask if she had dimples.
I was like, did Lincoln call? I get that a lot. You'll have to guess how old I am. Oh, this is a fun game, but I also want to see you.
Okay, I'll be back.
I think she's going to be 29. I think she's 72.
Well, if she's 6, also, unauthorized evacuation is, like, not that funny.
I didn't want to, but it happened.
I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater for me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
Oh my God.
They didn't check?
Yeah. Oh, wow.
I think that is what you do.
Oh, my God.
No, I didn't.
I love that.
Yeah, how fun.
Thank you, brother. Take care. Bye. Hello.
Oh, my God. How cute. I didn't get the memo. The Monica.
Yes, you sound great.
Yes, I'm in Chicago. Oh, yeah. Can we presume this story is about the L? Yes.
Thank you. I know about the L because Matt Damon goes on it in Ocean's Eleven.
Because Matt Damon goes on it in Ocean's Eleven.
Yes.
I was thinking about Matt Damon. You know, once I say his name, I do have a minute or two.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Monica.
Oh, my God. As hot as it gets.
When I worked at the front desk at SoulCycle, sometimes there was an afternoon shift and there were breaks between the classes. And sometimes I would watch TV on the computer.
Is it fine? Yeah, that's natural. Right, Jess? I've never admitted that.
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah, oh, that's a good prompt.
That's where I thought it was going. This is worse.
Would you rather eat?
I hope it's off of you now. Thanks for sharing that and really great sweatshirt. Just want to reiterate that.
Have a good day. Yeah, you too.
I want it. I can't have it. And it's okay. And life will continue. This is Buddhism.
Speaking of, you know, the arm cherry from last week's episode or a couple weeks ago, also a sweater, Japanese sweater that I really wanted. I did get the website. There's no way I can have it.
No, you just can't really order it.
Yeah.
I don't want to put out any armchairs, but I guess if you're in Japan.
People are going there a lot.
They sure are. There's a lot that goes down on those public transports.
I could see that.
You got to get on the bus.
Yeah. One was like, okay, I'll just, yeah, forget it.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah, there's a pretty, there's a hard to listen to one in here. Don't listen.
Uh-oh, really? Yeah.
She put it up her vagina?
I know.
And as we now know, teachers are just humans, too.
Bye.
And I don't think I wanted it at that point either. That's the problem. She knew that when she stuck it up there.
He did.
Wow. Well, I'm sad you didn't get your money back, but that is a good story.
Have a great day. Watch some Netflix in there. Take a break. Yeah, I'm going to wait about 30 minutes before I get back out there.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names, about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Oh, look at this broom.
No.
They have a history.
Oh, wow. Okay. Wow.
You took on their personas.
Thanks for chatting with us.
Not to get hung up on this, but they're making the chicken sandwiches from a real chicken? Like, it's that good?
Oh, my God.
What is wrong with these people? They're going to poison the town like Ma and Nod Sheila.
Or Derek. In disguise.
Or Derek stole it and she felt so guilty and she knew he was taking the money. And so she started crying.
They were in cahoots with the money.
You want that to be.
So we'll say that.
Give that a try.
I just got a text from Zoe.
A friend of mine named Zoe who I haven't spoken to since September 4th, 2023.
There's a glitch.
No, I wanted to go.
You're always acting like you didn't get to do stuff. And you went to Hershey World.
We like to hear that.
Oh, those nurses, they're so sweet. They're just so on top of it.
Broke her neck at Kmart today.
Yeah, maybe that was the hill that she chose. Now she's an advocate.
Yes, for sure. Congrats on eight years.
They roly-poly.
Allison Roman just had a baby. She did? Yes, and she sent me a picture, and he's so cute.
If it doesn't accidentally cook them.
I kind of understand what you mean because they're so tasty.
Necrotic flesh? No, no, no, different. We just had another necrotic flesh.
Oh. Because it goes in your vagina? No, the beavers poop and then you eat it. Okay, I got it.
He should never be allowed to drive again.
This is how that lady died.
Why do you keep apologizing? These are normal things I'm saying.
She drowned in a situation like this.
So we roll down.
No. I think I would know. I mean, sometimes I do have diarrhea. Take your temperature. I don't. You know why? I don't go in ponds.
Any water. Good thing I didn't get it when I almost drowned.
If I got Giardia beaver fever.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.
He did not.
That's a nice thing you did for them.
We love you guys so much. Oh, hi. I was squeezing into the booth. You guys are so cute.
So nice to meet you all. We're so happy Liv got to tell her story. It was hysterical.
A little ahead. It took a while though.
It was so lovely to meet you guys. Yes, you guys too.
I could have gone that way. How would I?
I mean, I would be crying.
So then I maybe I would be crying, but I would also be happy.
I would rather this.
I mean, I guess then you're really hopped up. Your adrenaline is up. Aroused. You're aroused.
Maybe that's a fun evening.
So I was right.
Oh, yeah, this is tough.
Because, no, she's said so many times.
The bottom will fall out at some point.
Don't look!
Don't look!
Oh, that was cool.
No.
Yeah.
It did? Because to me, that could mean I'm going to kill you. It'll be over.
There's two ways to take it.
What?
Where on you?
Oh my God.
Yes.
Oh my God.
Wow.
Oh, man. I'm so glad you got out of there.
They didn't get anything.
Yeah, true. Did they give it to you for free? They should have at least done that.
And hopefully Marie Callender's got you a cup of free meals.
I wasn't expecting it in a proposal story.
That's hard to beat. Yeah, yeah.
Well, you guys are so cute.
Congratulations on the baby.
Lovely meeting you.
That ran the gambit, didn't it?
It's true. You just don't know. Do you want to tell your proposal story before we go? I bet people would want to hear that.
Oh, great.
Which was?
That's funny. That's very sweet.
She knew.
Oh, that's lovely.
She's a bright gal.
It really builds this one.
Yeah.
Oh, she was on.
Oh, good boss. That is a good boss. But he was upset.
Yeah. Please listen to this one. And happy Valentine's Day.
It was meant to pair up a little bit.
What are you going to do for Valentine's Day? Eat chocolates?
Do you think she was like, I don't want to go through with this?
Oh, that's sweet.
That's cute.
Look at your sweater. Just for you guys and my earrings.
For a second, I thought they were tattoos. When I just first glanced, I thought those were your arms. No cherry tattoos yet.
They'll oblige.
We didn't even have it.
Well, we did. My mom, no, my mom would sometimes...
Yeah.
I think she would do something nice every now and then.
He wants to make an example out of you, too.
Why don't you tell them that on Valentine's Day? Be my Valentine. I'm not getting you anything.
And her coming over every 14 minutes.
Yeah, there should be some sort of mandate. If you're wreaking a lot of havoc, you have to go somewhere.
Jeez.
Yeah, this isn't.
It's not great.
Yeah. The stakes are so high because the option is to move. Ugh.
Therapy is essential to me during the holidays especially because I generally am going home.
And I need sort of some stability from my therapy and guidance to stay nice.
I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.
We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.
I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.
We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.
Was she weird? What was her personality like in general?
Wow.
I don't think they want that.
They want shock. That's part of the thrill of doing that.
He is so cute.
Tommy Hilfiger, like maybe by a sailboat. Maybe Ralph Lauren even.
Oh, we'll take it.
Oh my God, I want to squish that baby. Yeah, me too.
I probably did.
Anonymous.
Absolutely. When I was in second grade, we had to do a project on a city and I really wanted to do it on Little Rock. But there was another girl in my class who was from Little Rock. And so she was competing with me and she won.
And it looks very profesh.
I kind of think it's that.
Yeah, like she's like, this is the gift to give new neighbors.
You did? Yeah, that's hilarious.
It is. Yeah. But also the broom kind of foreshadowing.
Because you needed to clean up eventually. Oh, okay.
We've got some nutty neighbors out there.
But they did. It's okay. I have a question. Why'd you kill Randy?
Hello. Hi, I'm so excited.
Yeah. Sarah, you have color-coded sweaters as I do in your closet. I do. That's how I decide what to wear.
People are crazy.
Oh, boy. This is horrifying.
But also, how is he deemed not a threat when he had just told you that he was about to blow up?
She feels like she's a wizard trying to pretend to be a muggle and is not doing a great job.
They straight up said it.
Yeah. Then I don't know what else more anyone could do. That's a full threat.
Okay.
And you never answered, right?
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, fuck. What did you do?
That would have been smart. Yeah.
Neighbors are wild.
I did have an incident. I don't know who listens, so I don't want to say anything. And I wasn't involved, but there was an incident above me and there were cops. Also, at one of my other apartments, there was a sort of similar cops and firemen came because of a threatening their life situation. Yeah. I think people know I have a neighbor issue currently.
That was exciting.
That's true. I had a neighbor for a second that was dating Zac Efron and her roommate was Sean Penn's daughter.
It was always like Allison saw him walking. I'm pretty sure his car was blocking my car and I couldn't go to my improv show.
I was like.
I've made it.
LA, where dreams come true.
Love you.
Yeah. It's claustrophobic.
Yeah, and one of them, last story, is intense.
Really intense. And oof. Yeah.
Yes, exactly.
Okay.
Got to get the duty done.
I do think the Play-Doh would have been a good idea.
No.
I think most people think, I want to forget this ever happened.
It does seem like something we'd have up here. Well, we're proud of you for taking care of Biz and also sharing. Figured if I'm going to share it at all, I should share it with the entire world.
How fun. Where are you? What part of the world?
Do you guys think we over-index in Los Feliz for secrets we haven't told parents?
They go to UCB to be funny and get over it. You just laugh their way through the shame.
I saw him on the stairs and he was struggling.
You got indignant. I'm dying and you're telling me to stop.
Oh, we love that.
What if they started doing like a chest tube?
And having x-rays and oh my God.
What's the lesson here?
Did you say you faked it?
The things we do to survive a moment, I get it.
The heart attack.
wow, the heart attack.
No, really?
You acted like you hated the idea of getting sympathy, but you don't.
You like sympathy because you left blood out for people to see.
This story is that Kristen walked in and saw in the trash can there was all this bloody.
Right. I put it on top. Hold it up and put it on top.
I don't have that. Although in cheerleading, I guess there was an element of you did need to suck it up and move on. And that was a compliment.
Hi.
You live just a stone's throw away from where we are right now.
Yeah, yeah, a little bit.
Hi there.
I get it.
I also love poutine.
There's a secret they still haven't confessed to their parents. They're still harboring a secret. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry about that.
Three minutes.
I know.
I still don't know that.
I think not everyone knows that.
Did you take the rocket out? No, it's still in there. Okay.
Oof.
And you never confess. You just stood strong.
Did your brother try to rat you out?
We hope you have a great rest of your day.
Well, that was fun. I wonder if this will instigate a slew of people confessing stuff to their parents.
You think?
If they find out now, you mean? Yeah.
Exactly.
All right. Well, love you.
People had a lot on their chest and they were able to relieve it.
It could have been a squirrel.
They're very... They're very, yeah.
There's one. There's a. Yeah.
A little squirrely, but kind of like that movie Parasite where they live in the basement. It's like the burglars lived in the basement for the day and then snuck back out. Something like that.
Yeah, we do.
Why wouldn't they just say, hey, we know it was you?
Yeah.
Or a squirrel.
Unless you love your parents so much that you'll feel a lot of guilt.
Yeah. Yeah.
Would you believe a squirrel?
Yeah.
God, I hope not. He saw Parasite and he's like, I lived this. Yes. This is my life.
Oh, well, thanks for sharing. I hope you feel relieved. It's off your chest now.
Remember when you said Mr. Beans?
Such an old reference. It was.
It's the right visual. Isn't he in a suit?
Wait, who is...
It appreciated with crashes?
Rowan?
With Vince V. Loof?
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.
This is a setup.
That's how I know about it. Yes, and Melissa Rycroft was on that. She was from The Bachelor, so I really enjoyed that.
I'm like, what am I doing? Yeah.
Already?
Good for her.
Y'all, look at this.
Isn't it fantastic?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
They're laughing.
I thought that too.
Uh-huh.
Hey, everyone. It's your girl, Kiki Palmer. Did you know I host a podcast called Baby, This is Kiki Palmer? And you're not going to believe the conversations I've had. Like, is OnlyFans only bad? How has dating changed in the digital age? What's the deal with Disney adults? I've talked to John Stamos, the VP, Kamala Harris, to Jordan Peele, Raven Simone, and yes, the one and only Jameela Jamil.
And just wait until you hear our conversation. We talk Twitter drama, bad dates, and then something. How the hell do you actually get sexy? Like, what the hell does that mean? Like, I know how to be funny. I know how to be like, you know what I'm saying? Exactly. Like, I don't really know how to be like, and take your clothes. I'm not robbing fucking Givens.
You know, it's like, how do people do that? I've been in this situation too many times and not felt any of those things. Yes. The dumb eyes, the quiet. Like, I've never been quiet a moment in my fucking life. Yes. On Baby, This is Kiki Palmer, no topic is off limits. Follow Baby, This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
No, no, no, no.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Yeah, but they're not trying to recruit, which I find interesting.
To me, there is nothing more impressive than shedding an old life and starting fresh again.
Yes, she wrote a book. She did leave her family. I'm just in awe of people who can do that.
It's very hard. Well, can my husband come say hi?
That's helpful.
Thanks for sharing.
I do too.
Well, because wasn't the Rajneeshies, that was Oregon too. That was Eastern Oregon, yeah.
No, Oregon.
Hi. You're trying it out. It doesn't sound right on you.
No, it makes sense. It got so granular that the bigger picture was crazy.
Yeah, I did it at the Celebrity Center.
You don't know this story? No.
I wasn't joining. We had had an improv show at UCB, which is across the street. Yeah, across the street. Sorry to commandeer this.
The Scientology Center had a recruitment day, and it was exciting, and they had a fair. And we were like, we're going to go.
As a bit, but also what are they going to say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is this like?
Yeah. We all went to this movie theater and there was a woman there who was in charge of us. She was very odd, I would say. And then we watched this crazy movie about Scientology. It's not produced considering the people who are involved in Scientology.
It's not good. They could have Tom.
act in the movie at the very least famous writers have been involved exactly then they separated us all and then we had to do the thing with the hands and then they told us they asked you some questions they asked questions and it is how much you're holding how much you're not it's very primitive psychology for like a lie detector test yeah it's a polygraph yeah but even way more basic than that anyway okay so it sounds like a similar setup
So she didn't go very far. Oh my God. She was also probably in perimenopause and her hormones.
It's a little bit all fours book.
There's so many of these.
And that these engineers are involved. I know that's a stereotype, but I guess I imagine how could an engineer get trapped into this?
Like, what is the reward?
When you feel like they might die.
Once they've died. Yeah, once or they're getting close. Then you love it.
Yeah, that is cool.
I'm surprised they weren't like, we got to get out of here. No one's even being nice to us.
Yeah. What's the incentive?
We think teachers who do get paid don't get paid enough.
I hope it's not an improv cult.
Was that boyfriend part of this? No, he wasn't. When you were around other people, were you like embarrassed to talk about it?
Right. It's so hard.
Definitely. But I think probably at some point, whether she started off believing it, I'm sure at some point she did believe she was channeling this person. I don't think you can keep that up for that long if it's a full ruse.
Yeah, I mean, not to get so Buddhist, but we are all sort of buying into our identities all the time. It's not that much of a stretch to believe something about yourself and then just be it.
I'm sure it will help a lot of people. You never know who's listening, who might be like in a bad situation and needs to be heard and seen.
Yeah. Yeah.
They all do almost the same thing. The arranged marriage piece is interesting that that's come up multiple times. The beating you down.
Okay, that's fine.
Maybe take a second glance. My teeth look really white.
If you want to have white teeth, just join this email.
And I'll also throw in a free sermon.
Then you'd be laughing at me and then I'd cry.
I understand how it happens. You're there and it's what you know. But it's so amazing what the brain does that it can't just pull out for a minute. But they do a good job of saying it's not a cult.
They always get you with the vegetarian dinner. We had somebody else on talking about this.
Okay, but the reason you weren't is because you had an environment that also was opposite that.
Yeah, so if everyone you know is doing one thing, there's no way.
Exactly. And that's what you always wanted.
Ew, you sound just like all of them.
Like D.D. Shepherd.
It can be that crazy if all these people are here. That's right.
This is tough. It's tough out there. It is. We learned a lot. There's some real through lines.
Well, exactly. That's what I was about to say.
Yeah. And it's good to know them.
And if you're a vegetarian, you're in a cult.
Oh, it's so classic. So do we think he did drug you guys?
All right, take care. Bye-bye. As someone who saw grand lady hands, grandma hands, that's what she saw.
Yeah, things morph.
Maybe that's why, because they can technically get away with it. It's technically legal.
Hi guys, how are you?
We all are car lovers. We have two convertible Mustangs in our household.
I'm in his office, he works from home.
You know what? Okay.
We are in Sacramento.
It's where I grew up, but I raised my kids in Seattle, which is where the story takes place.
Okay. July 2020. Solid in the pandemic. Kids are going stir crazy. Fourth of July is coming up. And we have some very close friends who live in Idaho. So everyone in Seattle is fully masked. We're not doing anything. There are no Fourth of July plans. Our friends call and say, hey, guess what? I could get canceled for this. Yeah. So they go to Idaho.
My friends live in what's called Rexburg, and it is where BYU-Idaho is.
Correct.
At the time, 16 and 18. Today, they are 20 and 22. Okay. 16 and 18.
Yes. And they are both girls. So we send them off and they come back and the younger one created a little crush on one of the LDS kids. And I had told my friend who is LDS, I said, do not let them get a crush on any of these LDS boys because you know they marry at like 12.
We are not obvious. So they come back and she says, I met this boy and he's really sweet and cute. And I call my friend. I'm like, who is this boy? And she says, oh, he's a nice kid. Friends of our kids. Fine. About five weeks later, she says, hey, that boy, he's coming to visit his grandma who lives in Kirkland. So it's right next to Redmond. I said, oh, OK.
She goes, we're going to meet out at the lake and we're going to go hang out. So I'm going to give you some details that need to be in, but it's going to be weird.
She wakes up that morning. At like 7 a.m., unlike her, especially during the pandemic, everybody's sleeping in. I'm like, what are you doing? She goes, oh, a friend of mine stopped by and gave me coffee. I'm like, nobody knocked on the door. Yeah, he came around the corner and gave it in my bedroom window. And I'm all, okay, don't have your friends go through the bedroom window.
Please have them knock, even if it's 7 a.m. You know I'm awake.
I'm not suspicious because she had had a crush on this boy before the pandemic. So I thought he was just showing up really sweetly. They were not dating or anything. Not thinking anything because I have two girls and one of them is drama. One of them is not. This is the not. Oh, gotcha.
Correct. So I go about my day and she goes upstairs and talks to her father, who is also working from home. That's all I know about that. Later, she goes off, goes to the lake with this boy who's visiting his grandma. And my husband calls me and he says... You know, that whole thing with the boy and the coffee. When she came upstairs, I looked outside. There was a boy walking down the driveway.
I said, who is that? She goes, oh, that's that boy. He brought me coffee. He goes, that didn't sit well because last night I heard a noise. It was like 2 a.m. He went downstairs to check on the girls and he goes to the door and he tries to open it. It's locked. He knocks on the door and she comes out. She goes, what, Papa? What?
It's 2 a.m. Why is your door locked? She goes, oh, we stayed up watching TV. I don't know. Oh, that makes no sense. Okay. None of this is fitting. So I call her and I say, where are you? And she goes, I'm at the lake. And I said, so last night's thing, Papa came into your room, the boy at the coffee, something feels wrong. And she goes, no, nothing's wrong.
I'm like, if there's anything wrong, now's the time to tell me. And she says, I got nothing.
are you sure she goes have i ever given you any reason not to trust me okay she was desperate she was desperate and i go no you haven't and i want to think everything's fine sure yes exactly so can he come over for dinner yes he can come over for dinner so we meet this boy he's fine i'm not thinking anything he lives in idaho does your husband say that's the boy that was walking down
We're still under the impression there is a boy separate from the Idaho kid who's walking down the driveway. So he is hanging around. And for four days, he's hanging around. He's like leaving at night, going to grandma's, showing up at like 9 a.m. They're going to breakfast. They're watching TV. They're going to the lake. And... I'm like, when are you going home? I don't even know you. Go home.
And doesn't your grandma want to hang out with you?
He says, yeah, my grandma knows I have a big crush on your daughter, so she's okay with me hanging out here. And my husband and I are like, We are all done.
Why is it locked? She whips the door open right then. I said, what are you doing? She goes, oh, I was going to the bathroom. What are you doing? I said, I'm coming to get the laundry that I know is on your floor. And she's all, no, no. And she's like pushing me away. And I go, what are you doing? Let me in. I just want to get your laundry. And she's like, mama, you know, it's messy.
You know, you hate how messy it is. She's really sticking to it.
So finally she holds me one more time and I get mad. I'm like, knock it off. By the way, I should have a caveat. Everybody said I could tell the story. Okay. So I walk into her room and there is clothes all over the floor and I pick it up and I put it in to my little bag and I walk in. She goes, where's Papa? And I said, he's upstairs about to get in the shower.
And she says, I have a question I want to ask both of you. And I thinking she's going to ask if she can drive back to Idaho with this kid. And I said, well, he's upstairs. Go catch him before he gets in the shower. So she goes upstairs. I go to the laundry room. But then I'm like, there's something. And I drop the laundry and I go back into the room. She has sliding doors for her closet.
And I open one side of the sliding door. And I am like, I hate myself for this. I hate that I don't trust her. And I open one side. And there's nothing there. I'm like, okay. And I open the other side and there's feet. And I just take my eyes and there's legs and there's shorts. And there is a 16-year-old boy going, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
And I just looked at him and I just punched him in the stomach.
What?
Oh, my God. And I scream, get the fuck out of my fucking house! And I'm screaming it because I'm not a cusser. And I'm screaming it because I know he'll be overwhelmed with the cussing. And so I'm like screaming, get the fuck out of my house! As if he's a burglar or a bear. I yell my daughter's name. Where are you? I go upstairs and Michael, he is blissfully standing there, turning his shower on.
He has no idea what's going on. I said, what? god he's in the closet and he goes and he's like trying to get sweats on and he runs out and she comes in crying and he looks at her and he goes i don't know what's gonna happen to you just super quietly I don't know what's gonna happen to you. Oh my God, this is so intense.
The friend who brought her the coffee was him. He had driven 10 hours in the middle of the night, crawled through her window, and then crawled out of her window. My parents are gonna see this boy walking down the driveway, which Michael did. Their thought process was... It was short-sighted. I grab the dogs because I'm so pissed. And I'm like, I'm going for a walk. I'm so mad.
And I'm stomping down the driveway and my other daughter calls. The older daughter is on a road trip. And she goes, hey, mama. And I'm like, you knew. And she goes, sister's secrets. Epilogue, four years later. They're still together. Yeah.
They're still together. I like that.
After much therapy, we like him a lot. Oh, good.
I was thinking the same thing. I was talking to my daughter before I got in here, and she said, I don't know what we were thinking. I'll tell you what they were thinking. They just wanted to be together.
She said, at the time, I just had to see him. I loved him so much, even though they had only known each other for like a week. She was right.
It's been a little roller coaster for us, not for them.
Oh, so that was the best bedroom in the house. It had its own bathroom and it was the biggest.
Exactly. And we moved her upstairs into the tiniest bedroom possible.
And then she had to share a bathroom with her sister, which she ended up actually going downstairs because that didn't work out.
I do respect it. But he told me he cried all the way home, called his mom, said she thought he was with his actual grandma in whatever, someplace, Idaho. No one knew he had just kept driving.
Yes. It's probably a heavy ride home. Yeah, I think he told her more than my kid told me. I'm very close to my daughter, but I'm sure she was sparing me.
a rough one for me to get there. You got to make me angry.
I knew that they would sneak around. So we said, listen, we're going to support this relationship, but you guys have to tell us everything. And the problem with that is I really tamped down how angry I actually was. I think it really came to a head about a year ago when I was finally like, I'm all done with this kid. I'm all done. And finally I went to therapy and now I'm good.
We've all grown and now we're all in. Yay.
This has been very fun. Nice to meet you guys. Thank you so much for letting me share it.
Bye.
Yes, what's your story?
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Billy.
I didn't even think about Billy.
Billy is the reason you're in this situation.
Wow, you're nice.
Don't go there.
So he lied?
Oh my God.
No, Dax, no.
Why do they need to continue? Why can't they do what he did with Billy? I don't know that part.
Right.
Oh my God.
Oh, wow. This is a horrible honeymoon. It was great.
Yes.
Yeah.
I'm not following all the logistics of why he couldn't just bring you back up. I don't know either.
And I'm going to say your husband is a wimp.
Wow. Honeymoon.
My honeymoon is going to be... In a spa.
Well, you want a little risk. That's the kind of risk I'm willing to take.
You mean masseuse.
I know.
Mon-mon-seur.
Hi. How are you all?
She was like, you have the worst luck. So no one else had this. Wow. Just me. Oh, I would be so freaked out with the hand starting to crawl down.
I would have done the same thing. I would have thought the breast part was cultural.
Massage Stories was our first Armchair Anonymous. I know, and I missed the prompt. Yeah.
Oh, man. Well, thank you so much. Yeah.
I wanted to tell her that she could go by Lilibet.
The Queen of England. Her name was Elizabeth.
And her husband and family called her Lilibet.
Yep.
That's amazing.
Bye.
Yep.
Well, you know, life is so.
Me too.
Anyone listening, just knock on wood right about now.
And we'll see you next week.
Love you.
Uh-huh. Roll of. Royal. The dice. Casino Royale.
Well, it was a thing we did at mess hall. You could roll the dice and they would bring you a drink and you wouldn't know what it was. I love that.
In Georgia, you can't go in the pond or the lake.
No, I'm scared of guns.
I think necrotic flesh is worse than what I felt.
I'm sorry to tell you that.
Don't go in any ponds.
Oh, my God.
Very.
At the time is so important.
That guy sucks.
And there's some intense ones.
So the needle.
Yeah, I think this is like the shark, the beast.
And this.
These are the worst and the best.
Oh, how fun. I won't be there.
Oh man, I'm sad that happened to her.
No.
They could have done an episode of Magic School Bus where they go into the wound in the bus.
Oh.
I am never going in a lake.
I mean, yeah.
Remember the, okay.
Are you at a school?
Lucky number seven.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
This was a bait and switch. We thought it was going to be a bad seafood, but it's a bad burger.
Yeah, there you go. You should have gone seafood.
What is the Beanstalk?
Jack and the Beanstalk and James and the Giant Peach.
Really?
Roald Dahl. Roald Dahl. You know, I have an original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
oh yeah mother scratcher what an imagination very into him i wish i could remember the details of why he moved it to peach yeah oh it's in the paradise show oh wow that's why i know that a peach makes more sense because i don't know because i grew up in georgia because for me it's more relevant oh
You would have remembered if it was a cherry.
Now that I think about it.
I know. Not to say I have powers.
But when I got home for Christmas, my dad picked me up from the airport and I was like, ugh. I wish it would snow. And it has not snowed there in so long. And he was like, yeah, that's not gonna happen. And then in his sim mind, he was like, oh, but I'm gonna do it as soon as you leave. So sorry, or you're welcome.
Literally, I started hysterically crying. That's a lot of bad energy toward you.
Ask me. Ask me. You should have been like, he abuses me. He saved me with my sister. Yeah.
Oh my God. It's a little bit of hubris. It's a little bit like you went in quite cocky and then you did get taken down. Tell me about it.
Well, let's be clear.
A hundred percent. I would never have said yes.
Oh, if Arena was booing me, I would still be under the covers. Like for real. I have to pee. That made me have to pee.
Yeah, you're all right over there?
Thank you. Thank you.
Definitely. But the Super Bowl is a big deal.
They can go disastrous in a lot of ways. You can jinx them.
Sexual.
Well, they do it everywhere. No, they don't do it there.
Right.
Yeah, it's true. Yeah.
Or I guess I would think they're all fights that broke out.
Yeah. Yeah.
But buckle up.
What?
I don't like that. They're just trying to cheer.
They just had sex in the bathroom.
They're upset.
Don't judge a book.
Ophthalmologist.
Yep. She was an OB.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
No, I've never. And this was my first story I submitted.
I do have a stalking story. Also, before we get started, I'm just going to mention my mom, Jennifer, and my sister, Erica. They're also armchairs with me, and they feature in this story. And my mom wanted to say to you, Dax, that she's just very grateful for you always being honest in your recovery and sobriety. She's nine years sober as of this year. Oh, wow.
And my sister, she's two years younger than me. She wanted me to say that she's regularly in the top 1% of listeners. She's a badass horse rider, works on a farm, and she's always listening to you guys.
Yes, she does CrossFit. I mean, there's nothing she can't do. Wow. Cool. She's the athletic one. So the story does take place in Washington, but Western Washington, about 45 minutes south of Tacoma. It was my senior year of high school about 10 years ago. I had just turned 18 in December. And Monica, my junior year, our cheer team won state. I was on the cheerleading squad. Oh my God.
Definitely not compared to her. I love a good dance routine, but put me in any other kind of coordinated situation. It's not my jam. Did you guys do stunts and stuff? We did do stunts. We were not a tumbling squad, but we did stunts and had a great routine. Nice. Congrats. Yeah, that was exciting. So a lot of stuff was going on. That spring, I started receiving strange friend requests on Facebook.
And I didn't recognize the name. It said Joe Smith. But the profile picture was a picture of a penis. Okay.
To be more specific, the penis was a micro penis. Oh, boy. Wow. Okay. I've never seen anything like that.
Then check my Messenger app on Facebook, and I had message requests from this profile. Most of them saying things like, hey or hi. I think one of them said something kind of creepy like, do you like what you see referencing the picture? Oh. But I just deleted these. I honestly thought it was spam or someone messing with me at school. I didn't think it would be anything crazy.
So a few months go by and a family friend calls my mom and says, Hey, I've been getting friend requests from this person, Joe Smith, on Facebook. His profile's normal. I asked how he knows me and he said he knows you, Jennifer. I overhear this and I say, Oh, I know that name. That's... Joe Smith is profile with this penis picture. Her jaw dropped and she says, that's Joe Smith, our neighbor.
Hmm.
Nice.
He was probably in his 30s, lived with his mom, and we didn't interact with him a lot. But I knew his first name, but I didn't know his last name. So we contacted the police, but I didn't have any evidence. I deleted the friend requests. I deleted the messages. And I was over 18. I think if I was a minor, it would have been a bigger deal.
And they also mentioned if I had asked him to stop and then he continued, that would have been something else. But I had never kind of said stop.
Then he turns his attention towards my mom. He somehow had her phone number. And he starts sending her these pictures, screenshots of pornos. One time he sent the penis picture, but with a mini Bic lighter held up next to it to compare the size. Oh, my God. I did look it up. So that's two inches is the size we're working with. She also contacts the police.
She was going to get a restraining order at one point, but it would have cost her money. We had gone over to the home. Well, my parents did, my mom and my stepdad, and he didn't answer the door, but they knocked and let him know very loudly that if anything were to happen again, we're going to have some more issues. So she ended up changing her phone number because of that. A bit of time goes by.
I'm away at college now. So a lot of this is from my mom and my sister. A couple of things to note, we lived on a private driveway. So there were only three houses. It was our house, Joe's house, and then our third neighbor's house. Now living at home is my mom, stepdad, my sister, and my brother, Kyle.
So we're not having any issues with Joe directly, but it's clear that other people in the community are because cars start coming down the driveway. showing up at his house, knocking on his door. They start knocking on our door saying, hey, they're always men. Joe's been messaging my wife, my girlfriend, my sister. There's three or four instances of different men coming, telling us this.
Do you know anything about him? And we just let him know, hey, we're working with the police, building a case. He's done this to us. At one point, someone comes back in the night and smashes his car with a baseball bat. While this is going on, my sister, Erica, turns 18. So she starts receiving the Facebook friend request messages and she is very freaked out and she's very avoidant.
So she is just deleting them and doesn't really want to deal with this anymore. At one point, my stepdad's outside, our other neighbors looking out her window and she sees Erica getting out of her car and Joe standing in the driveway with his pants down, touching himself. Oh my God. Things are escalating past just cyber harassment.
We're assuming it's his penis. We don't know for sure. That's a follow-up question I'll have to ask.
So he's arrested for some of these various crimes within the community. He's released within less than a year, just a few months. And they assign him a female parole officer. What does he start doing? Harassing his female parole officer. He begins sending her vulgar messages, showing up, calling her. Now he's got multiple warrants out for his arrest. At one point, the U.S.
Marshals show up at our house. They're asking where he is. And supposedly he's staying maybe in shelters in Tacoma. A few months later, the sheriffs show back up. They're looking around, knocking on the door, trying to find him. And at one point, there's some shouting. My family's outside watching all of this. And they're dragging him out from under the house. He'd been hiding under the house.
We're not sure why.
Yeah, and so they had dragged him out from under the house and arrested him. And that's kind of where the story ends for us. I sent in a news article to Emma about Joe, and I was looking at this article of his. There's a photo included. In 2018, he was convicted of indecent exposure and cyber-stalking one of his former teachers.
A year after that, he was convicted of indecent exposure on a bus after offering a woman chocolate and then showing his penis. Ah, okay. As of 2021, he was arrested and being held without bail for a couple of things. Which I guess is something you use to make fake IDs with. Wow.
Doesn't chemical castration exist? Didn't they do that to like some people? Not for the right reasons. This was about homosexuality. But that's the instances I've heard it being used. Yeah.
I'm not sure. I know. Another side note. One night I was Googling myself or my family, just as you do when you're a teenager. And I found this forum where Joe had written about... My mom and like watching her getting out of her car at work and just posting some creepy things about watching her. And so just a lot of creepiness happening next door. Yes, that is rough.
I believe there's mental issues there and some kind of maybe drug use and probably a traumatic home life. We're not really sure, but there's a lot of things going on.
I wrote down this little bingo card of what would happen during the interview. And one of the things I put down was that Dax would have compassion for or want to follow up with Joe.
I have compassion. I can too. He's consumed his whole life and ruined it.
All right. Armchair bingo. I have a technical issue. Dax brings up Big Brown. If I mentioned the Pacific Northwest.
Dax tries to guess where I live.
Right. Rob makes an appearance. Not yet. Monica makes a gasp type noise. Like a, I'm sure that Rob, please make a bingo.
Hi, Rob. And then I wrote down, I get emotional. But I haven't said my thank you yet, so that could happen soon.
I did just want to say thank you guys so much for everything you do. I'm a teacher, and you've taught me so much about empathy and compassion and just communicating in relationships. And you just made me so curious about the world again. About eight months ago, I had a baby, my first baby. Oh, congratulations. Our baby girl, Daphne, she is amazing. But those first few weeks are kind of rough.
But I always knew I could listen to you guys and just feel like myself again. So thank you for always being there for me. And you're my favorite parasocial relationship. So thank you.
And thank you for being a teacher. The best year of middle school, seventh grade. We love it. We love it. It's Teacher Appreciation Week right now, first week of May. So shout out all the teachers.
We need to remember that for next year, Armchair Anonymous.
Teacher prompts or more teacher experts on anything like that. We would love.
So nice meeting you. Have a great rest of your day. Thank you.
Hello.
Yes, it's a very unique name.
Yes, not my first Monica.
Sure, or rodeo.
This is my first Armchair Anonymous interview.
Hello.
Yes, Megan.
I'm in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Okay.
It's spreading there. I've been proselytizing you guys to everyone I know.
Not yet. I have a five-year-old son. He's about to start playing basketball.
This is my story.
Yes, it's you.
It's from Etsy. So it's not off your website.
So that's awesome. I'll be on the lookout.
So this story takes place in 1994, small town, Oklahoma. I was nine years old. My brother, he's five years older than me. So he had been playing Little League for several years before I got to the age where I was ready to start playing. I loved every part of being at his games and my dad was always his coach.
So my parents just kind of thought, well, we'll throw her in Little League with the boys versus softball. I was all for that. So I I was a decent player. I was pitcher for my teams most of the time.
I didn't throw super hard, but I was really accurate and consistent. But because I was pretty good, I hadn't really had a whole lot of boys teasing me about being a girl on the team or anything like that yet. But one day we were about to play a game and me and my teammates were warming up.
And this kid from the other team comes over and he says something to the effect of, you guys have a girl on your team. We're going to kill you guys. Like girls suck at sports, basically, is what he was saying.
Exactly. Yeah. I was pretty pissed. And my dad, he was an assistant coach on this team and he saw that I was pretty upset. He asked me what the kid said and I told him and he said, well, what do you think you're going to do? And I said, well, I'll just strike him out every time he comes up. Yeah, that's right. My dad said, well, I think he needs to learn a lesson.
These are two approaches. Two good options. So I'm pitching that game and this kid comes up in like the third inning, which tells you that he sucks. Yeah. Oh, I hate this kid.
No.
I don't.
I didn't feel bad for him. It pissed me off even more because he thought he was automatically better than me. Exactly. Because I was a girl. So anyways, third inning, kid comes up and I start pitching to him. I pitch the first pitch straight down the middle. The kid swings and misses. Second pitch, same thing. I throw it right down the middle. He swings and misses. So I've got two strikes on him.
No balls. Right before I throw the third pitch, I look over at my dad face he nods his head up and down like yeah you know what to do i love your dad this is uncharacteristic of you monica you're voting for violence this is not like right yeah you never go for violence this is my role this little shit deserves it third pitch i throw it as hard as i possibly can right at this kid's body
I didn't throw it at his head. I wasn't trying to kill him. That was nice of you.
You could have, but you showed some mercy. The kid panics when he sees the ball coming at him, and instead of turning away from it, he opens his body to it, and it just lands right in the middle of his chest. Everyone can hear the thud. And he immediately falls to the ground, he throws his bat, and he just starts bawling crying.
That, I do know, is what the product of this was. The umpire was finally like, hey, you can take your base to first base. And about that time, his mom had come down out of the stands, out onto the field, and took the kid out of the game, and they left completely. The country? Maybe. Amongst all of that drama, I looked up in the stands to my mom, and she was pissed off, like I could tell.
Well, she knew I had done it on purpose. She had a hunch that he was behind the whole thing.
So later that night, we got a pretty good lecture about how terrible the lesson that is for a nine-year-old. Uh-huh. Fair.
But I felt vindicated. I loved every second of it.
Yeah.
Well, the funniest part of this story is years later, I ended up having a one-night stand with this guy. No! Stop it.
Did you give him blue balls? Was this like a long game? I ended up going to high school with him. And when this all happened, I didn't make the connection at this time. I didn't realize it was the same kid until later on. And I don't know if he made the connection either. Obviously, he wasn't too bad about it.
Let's just say he was about as good and bad as he was at playing baseball.
That's crazy. What would you do in that situation, Dax, if a kid said something to one of your girls?
I love that story.
I want to say something real quick before I go. I know you don't like talking about day seven, but May of 2022, I was in a gnarly relapse. And one day I had a particularly bad night. And the next day I was home alone and decided to listen to day seven again.
And when you started talking about how it just hit you all of a sudden that you needed to get honest with Kristen and Monica, that set with me. And it was just like, oh, my God, I have to get honest with my wife and everyone. And so later that night, I told her everything I'd been hiding. And a week later, I got into treatment and I've been sober ever since.
Oh, you're killing it.
It's great. In fact, we're going through some tough stuff with my son right now. And I'm like, thank God I'm sober, man. It would be...
Yes, of course. You guys take care. You too.
Okay, I will.
I didn't. And see, when I tell you they exist, I can always point to Sean now.
A lot of my friends are that way.
That was really sweet, and I feel hopeful.
No, you don't.
Yeah.
Does it feel a little like, why'd they have to name it that?
Fuck.
I have no idea.
Ha!
Wait a minute. Oh, my God. This is a lot.
Yeah, because this is Sim and Meet Cute. It's so exciting.
Okay.
I think it's on our list.
What about jury duty stories?
Also, I had an idea because I was watching ER. Stories of you learn something from watching TV or a movie and it changed your life.
There was an episode yesterday.
There was an episode with this guy who came in and he had hiccups. And I was like, oh, weird. And then turned out it was really, really bad. I mean, TV can say a lie.
That is so simp.
No. Also was, was. No. Wow, Derek and Herrick?
No, that's Merrick. This is Herrick.
We'll be right back.
That's right.
It is.
We love a meet cute. It's very hopeful and sweet, and we need to throw those in.
Yeah.
A lot of nasty stuff.
Oh. Oh, and then it was.
Probably never would have happened. That's a good point. I hate to give the dog any credit.
Could be.
I feel like we've talked to just a lot of them, but I love them. You guys are a great group.
Over Georgia.
Oh, it's so good. Okay, so we can't really speak on it. Although I've never been to Cedar Point, so I can't either.
Well, thank you so much for chatting.
It's great meeting you guys too. All right. Have a good day. Take care. Bye. Okay, two things. Yes. One, when she talked about going up onto the stairs, I was like, is this gonna be a staircase sex story?
One we've been waiting for. And then also, it reminded me, like, do men have this? Or boys, when you have a crush, you really want a piece of clothing? No. Okay, that's a women's thing. Like, you really want that shirt.
You can smell the guy.
Because you definitely don't have that.
I know. It must mean something horrible about my personality that all it does is make me say it. Drives you away. Absolutely not.
Oh, this is my nightmare.
Is this from a psychology class? This is wild.
Sean is hot for the listener.
I think you look like Rob McElhaney.
Do you watch Severance? It looks like you're in that welcoming room where she delivers information.
This test had the school in a frenzy.
I wonder who else got married from this.
Well, also because you don't have to know what it feels like to be marginalized. So like if you're on the other end of someone just grouping you in, you're just intellectually aware that that's wrong.
Well, again, you don't have a luxury.
there's just room now for more niche stories. Like when it was just the network TV shows.
And I'm scared that some people will really think that's how it works.
Quince is amazing.
I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater for me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.
I think before it used to be it was hard to have. It was limited because it was fancy. But I still think there's something to be said about wanting something limited or that you can't have. But now it's like you make a reservation and you go pick it up in an alley and they drop it off to you. And it's like a secret thing. And it's not fancy, but it's still like exciting and exclusive.
But for the right reason.
Oh, let's bring, yeah, let's bring that guy in.
I think what's also tricky about gambling specifically is if you're a successful person or you have the brain of someone who pushes themselves and is motivated and wants to be a successful person, you are gambling. Like we've all gambled with our lives. We moved to L.A. with no money to try to be an actor. Like that's a gamble.
And I mean, so it's that balance, right? Of knowing when to gamble and when you can't.
Um, I guess with time, things will just wear away at you, you know?
Yeah. I would drive so far. I would just be on social media or the website or something like find out where it's going to be that day and go. It's so.
Ah, that's a good thing to catch yourself on.
It's one of my favorite interviews.
Is it, dare I say, anthropological?
Too bad you don't have the original pair.
Yeah, thanks for having us.
What network is the show on?
Taste May, that's where my tiny... Tiny kitchen, yeah. Tiny kitchen was on, yeah.
Every now and then. Do you know the history of teddy bear? Oh, my God, no.
Oh, no. Canceled?
Oh, my God. Teddy bear. Isn't that wild? That's crazy. You know so much.
Oh, my God. First he was a sickly boy, then a learned man, and then a cowboy?
Three times gains?
Speaking of strong boys.
We have a big announcement.
Rob had his little baby boy.
It is. I love it. It's very strong.
Also, Vince Vaughn's name.
Okay, and how's it going?
This is a ding, ding, ding because we actually talked about that in this episode.
Yeah, then you're more than 12.5.
I just want people to know that none of this is real, just in case.
Well, why? Why is it only the dad that gets to move up?
I mean, I think it's great fun.
We should get Vincent a teddy bear. Ding, ding, ding.
Oh, my gosh. I got more news. What?
Oh, fuck. I know.
I thought you were going to tell a crow story.
She's her dad's daughter.
That's so sim. It's crazy.
That just got added to the sim. That wasn't a thing.
Like two weeks ago, my dad put that in there.
What did it say? Would a polar bear be a grizzly?
So like its back is 10 feet?
Wow. And grizzlies are brown, right?
But polar bears are white.
So would you say that if you're a polar bear, I'm a grizzly bear?
Okay. But I have big claws.
What would I be?
But they're so cute. They go down to the babies, go down the slide.
Oh, I love them. Okay, but you're the bear expert. You're the bear expert. So I'll take your word for it that I'm a black bear. Is it a boy thing? To be into bears?
Well, I mean, I hate to do this, but stereotypically, you said you changed it to animals. And that makes me think, no, it's actually not a boy thing. Because girls love animals.
I have no interest in watching that.
Okay. Speaking of like stereotypes and gender, I have a sad story.
It's kind of, I guess it's unethical because I'm really just going to tell a story that The Daily told.
Yeah. Are you sure they were mad or were they like, oh, this was also, because when I told Erica, she was like, oh, I heard that on the Daily. That's so awesome. I'm excited to listen.
I love that episode.
Okay. So there was a very powerful daily from last week about Ukraine. And they spoke to a few different men involved. And it's just like, it is so heartbreaking, the whole thing. And just regular people who just have to like... One guy was just like working and bringing food to his office and then he had to go.
And then, but for me, like the saddest one was this guy who is gay and is like, I never picked up a gun. I don't want anything to do with that. I'm not violent. He like tried to get to Poland and they said no because he was a man. And he's like, but I don't want it. I can't do it. I don't have the constitution for it.
And it made me just so sad that it was like, well, you're a man, so.
But I, yeah, I disagree. I mean, I think if you are a man who has evolved to do that, then yes, please. Like now is the time, please stand up, please help. But not everyone has.
I think people should stay to defend the country if they believe they can.
You know, because I think some women also are like, yeah, I fucking can. And they are. Some are. But also, I don't think it's fair to classify all men as capable of that.
Well, you don't have to.
I really do see what you mean.
No, no, you are. I just think it's too complicated to put a blanket on it and say men.
Right, but I think it's okay if you're a man who's like, I'm too scared for this.
But they may just not want to get killed. And that's okay to be a man who doesn't want to get killed.
No, I just don't think it's black and white. I think that's exactly what I'm saying.
No, no, I get that. I mean, I guess a small part of me is like, why don't why don't you let the people leave who want to leave? And then there are people here who want to go like let them go.
I don't know. It just, it's sad. It's just so sad. I hate it.
I don't like this option. Like, I agree. I don't think this is a good option.
It's my personal disposition to be like, there's a big bully and we're a strong person on the playground.
And like, we gotta do more to help the vulnerable person.
Yeah, I agree. I agree.
That's awesome. Also, there's like all these small independent ventures people are doing. Like you can like put money in Airbnb. I gave some money. It can go directly to the people.
And I think Etsy is the same. Etsy shops and stuff like that.
I'm sure this is hard. All right, switching gears.
Roy Choi. This is one of my favorite interviews in a long time. A mix of things, like so fun, like a great person to be around, but also very vulnerable and open and so smart. I just really enjoyed it.
The whole like just needing to get even.
And like we do talk about this, but I guess it's hard to do when someone's sitting there. Like the Kogi truck is... Like you don't know, you don't live in LA and you don't know him. You might not, you might just say, oh, this is just like a chef who has a food truck. Like it's an enormous institution here. Anyway. Okay. I said last time we did the fact check. Oh, Sedona. I was in Sedona.
We recorded and we lost half.
Okay, we lost most. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you're wondering what happened on the fact check last time, because it starts kind of abruptly, we lost half.
Oh, yeah, it was incredible. It was for Laura's bachelorette party, and we stayed at Enchantment Resort, which is enchanting as ever.
Oh, it was posted. Oh, it was? Yeah. I didn't post it.
One of the girls, Liz.
Wait, I want to hear from you what is- You look six years old.
I don't like that picture because my neck looks bad, really bad. And also it's deceiving. It looks like I drank so much White Claw that I like passed out.
And that is not what happened. There was like three sips out of that White Claw. And really that whole time I was like trying to sleep and trying not to puke.
Yeah, on that bus. It wasn't my favorite ride, two and a half hours of my life, but that's okay.
I think it was because we just got off the plane. Like something about all the different motion, and I don't know. Because I was actually fine on the ride back.
Anyway, so the last fact check, we didn't have time to go through the Playboy article, but I said we would do it this time.
So I'm going to read it.
Okay, 20Q, Dax Shepard.
The headline is, oh, this is a nine-minute read. It tells you. That's cool. The comic turned actor, parentheses, and drugged out bad boy turned vegan gentleman on failure and success.
Yeah, 2012. Is success what you thought it would be? Oh, God, no. What if I try to do an impression? Do it. No, I can't.
Oh, God, no. But it's impossible to know until you've had success that it doesn't alter your daily struggles. When I was a struggling groundling, I thought if I had the life I have now, I wouldn't have to brush my teeth anymore and I could eat cupcakes all day.
In fact, I have to do the same shit I've always had to do to not feel miserable, which is work out, journal, eat well, do something for somebody other than myself at some point every day, even if it's just the dogs, those little fuckers.
So was that really you driving like an outlaw in hit and run?
100%. I'm from Detroit and my life has been driving cars. In high school, it was drag racing. Then I worked for GM because my mother had a company that put on big car shows for journalists. We'd rent out Michigan International Speedway and I got tons and tons of seat time in these crazy cars that a 16-year-old should never be allowed to drive.
I fucking love cars and I've wanted to do a car chase movie all my life.
It's like weird to say fucking knowing it's in an article. Playboy. But it's Playboy.
Okay, three. Correct us again, but it also appears that your super hot, super famous co-star and fiance, Kristen Bell, was actually buckled in alongside you for every bit of it. Naturally, the producer had booked a stunt double, but Kristen said to me, no, if you're driving through a barn and jumping other cars, I need to be there with you. We're going to go out together.
Yes. She sounds like a keeper. How terrifying were you exactly? It's so weird when you turn 18 and are released into the world and then just start piling on terrible habits. From 18 to 29, I was a heavy smoker, heavy drinker, drug addict, terrible eater, and philanderer.
The past eight years since I got sober have honestly been about trying to peel back each of those habits to get back to the 12-year-old kid inside who was tremendously excited about life. Give us a snapshot of you in your party years.
I just loved to get fucked up. Drinking, cocaine, opiates, marijuana, diet pills, pain pills, everything. Mostly my love was Jack Daniels and cocaine. I was famous for going out on Thursday night to have a couple of beers and that just led all the way to Saturday night. I would meet people here and there and then I'd be in a hotel room with four strangers. Oh, they're tapping out?
Well, someone new showed up. Well, what's your name? Yeah, I love to go dancing. I lived for going down the rabbit hole of meeting weird people. Of course, come Monday, I would be tallying up all the different situations, and each one got progressively more dangerous. I got lucky in that I didn't go to jail.
Yeah. How much you've grown.
I got lucky in that I didn't go to jail. Or worse, says the person. And you said, oh, God, yeah. My nose is completely sideways from a drunken altercation. I'm missing a knuckle because of a drunken altercation. Somehow, I was usually able to get sober for work. I got sober for my first movie without a paddle, but then I was fucked up.
I got sober for Idiocracy, but then I was fucked up for three months. Then right before I started Zathura, I knew I would get sober for that, so I went to Hawaii to relax, and that's when things went from bad to worse. I ended up in a car accident with a local on the way to get Coke, which didn't stop us from going to get Coke. Then it wasn't Coke, it was crystal meth, but I did it anyway.
Eight, how exactly did you get a big Hollywood career?
Yeah, exactly. Well, I spent many, many years unemployed. I was 20 when I moved to Los Angeles. I went on probably 600 commercial auditions and couldn't book any of them. I went through the groundlings. Everyone there had agents but me, and it was a ridiculously amazing group.
I was there with Melissa McCarthy, who was nominated for an Oscar, Octavia Spencer, who won an Oscar, Tate Taylor, who directed The Help. Success is just a war of attrition. Sure, there's an element of talent you should probably possess, but if you stick around long enough, eventually something's going to happen, you know?
You first got people's attention as a pretend IRS agent who made Justin Timberlake cry on MTV's Punk'd. What was that like? That makes sense. Yeah. 10, you studied anthropology at UCLA. Ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, this is interesting. What's your anthropological assessment of Ashton Kutcher's success?
I guess that's true, but when we get interviewed, they ask us all the time, can you explain the success of this show? What is it about this show that's made... Yeah, but why are you asking me about Ashton Kutcher? Well, people ask about you to me.
Like, what is it about... And maybe they'll say y'all.
Yeah. Well, this is what you said.
We are incredibly social animals and we're constantly searching. Well, see, this is, you went anthropological.
You followed the rules. We are incredibly social animals and we're constantly searching for some order of who's alpha, who's beta, who's zeta. Ashton's definitely an alpha. People want to dislike him because he's gorgeous and successful. It's fair to hate somebody like that. I relate. If he wasn't a crazy driven hard worker, I would find it all offensive. But he's like Tyler Perry.
How do you not respect Tyler Perry? It's easy to make jokes about the guy, but he writes, directs, and stars on a TV show, then writes, directs, and stars in a movie all in one year. And certainly once you actually get to know somebody, it demystifies them and everything they go through. When Ashton and Demi broke up, I felt bad. These are people I eat dinner with.
Brad and Angelina, that's another story. I don't actually know them, so I'm as curious as the next person. Will they get married? What's their life like? And of course, I would love to see them engaged in coitus. Okay.
Okay. Okay. You realize people have said that about you and every famous, beautiful woman you've dated. I get that. People want to see us bang. People want to see us bang. But here's the funny thing about the response I've been aware of to my dating famous people. It's been very negative. I'm either not good-looking enough, not a good enough actor, or not successful enough for these people.
It's ironic, really. Guys should be excited that I got Kristen Bell. If Brad Pitt gets Kristen Bell, it's like, well, of course he did. With me, it should be, oh, good, a normal-looking guy got her. Maybe I'll get me a Kristen Bell. But guys hate my guts for always dating women I have no right to be with. What's your secret? I attribute it to being funny and a good dancer.
And I'm tall, which will get you places as well. I'm also wired for it. The times my brain works fastest are when I'm doing improv on a stage or meeting co-eds in a bar.
Co-eds. Yeah, I haven't heard you say that.
That just means it's real.
You picked a career in which you're surrounded by gorgeous women. Okay, also this is Playboy. Let's just remember that. There is a reason perhaps that a lot of the questions skew this way.
Yeah. It's interesting for me because I don't know you as that. I don't know you as someone who's famous because of who you dated. Right.
Well, I saw you in Punk'd, but I didn't like know you.
But yeah, yeah, you got popular.
It's definitely changed. You picked a career in which you're surrounded by gorgeous women. Does the urge to merge ever go away?
Oh, no, it doesn't. I wish it did magically. This is overly deep, but I have to put woman in the same category. I put drugs and alcohol. It's an outside thing that I try to use to make my insides feel better. And I've learned that it just doesn't work. I have to keep my urges in check.
Because I'm in touch with myself. What's your relationship like with Craig T. Nelson, your TV dad on Parenthood? Craig T. Nelson is the coolest person I've met. My identical twin. Only we're separated by 30 years or whatever. He's raced cars forever. We both have big noses. We're both tall. We're both goofy. We've both been around a lot of craziness.
He's a guy I super fan at work the way I super fan Burt Reynolds, whom I got to work with on Without a Paddle. Burt Reynolds? All the way. My house is a living shrine to Burt, much to KB's chagrin. I have a urinal. You do?
You had his urinal?
I have a urinal and above it is a poster of Gator with a personal message that says, to Dax, you're a hell of an actor, but more important, a hell of a man. Love and respect. I would go to his trailer every day just to hound him for stories because I had so many unanswered questions.
Like Jackie Gleason was a very well-known and admitted functioning alcoholic, yet 80% of Smokey and the Bandit is him traveling at high speed. It's clearly him driving and it begs the question, what were the safety protocols when Gleason was driving? Bert's answers were implausible. The physics of what he told me couldn't happen, but who gives a shit? They were great stories. I love that man.
Did you feel that way about John Travolta?
Did you feel that way about John Travolta when you were in Old Dogs? Well, they say you shouldn't meet your heroes, and that's probably good advice unless you employ the strategy of hanging onto your daydream of who they are.
Urban Cowboy is in my top five dramas of all time, so Travolta could have been lighting other cast members on fire, and I would have just seen Bud climbing off the oil rig or the guy from Pulp Fiction. I'm like those female fans who saw Elvis on his last tour. They didn't see the 300-pound beached whale on the stage. They were cheering and crying for the guy from 1956 swaying his hips.
No, you did a good job of aiding that.
Bo Bridges looks pretty good in your new movie, and he's no spring chicken. What's he like? When I saw his age was 70, I almost crapped myself. I would go, Jesus, Bo, you're not supposed to be able to punch somebody out in a scene at 70. My grandpa couldn't have done that. What's your secret? And he goes, I've been a vegan for 12 years. I was like, damn, I need to think about this.
And then I saw Forks Over Knives, that documentary, and I was like, I'm in. I've been a vegan since January. I feel like I'm time traveling. 18. And how are you feeling? It's nothing like the pill in the matrix, but damn good. Like 15% across the board in every respect. I sleep 15% better. My allergies are at least 15% better. I have fewer body aches. My skin looks better.
I'm never starving and I never need to ride the couch feeling completely full and disgusting. 19. So your vices are pretty much under control. I think I have a pretty good handle on my isms, but it takes a long time. Each third or fourth bad thing you give up, you still have to hold on to one. I'm still on nicotine. I pound about a dozen of those comet throat lozenges a day.
I still drink gallons of coffee. 20, and you still drive like a maniac. I'm still super into driving too fast on motorcycles, yes. I have a Suzuki GSX-R1000. That was hard to read. That's just for the racetrack, and I can get up to 190 on that. When you're going that fast, you're thinking only about what you're doing in the moment.
It's the closest I could ever get to Deepak or God or something like that. You can't think about tomorrow or what happened yesterday. You just absolutely have to be thinking second to second to second about what you're doing in that moment. I don't think I could survive without doing something like that.
Maybe. Or maybe they asked you.
Shit, I need the printed version.
Unless they just asked you and it was annoying when they, I don't know because you saw it.
It was... What's your secret?
Well, also you picked a career in which you're surrounded by gorgeous women. Does the urge to merge ever go away? Also, you realize people have said that about you and every famous, beautiful woman you've dated.
Oh, interesting.
They probably retracted it.
But that was a fun journey. Was it? Yeah, for me.
Well, you said co-eds. Yeah.
Oh, you want to bring that back.
Okay, so I looked up the Asian population. Well, Rob looked it up real time and said 6%. But then I was looking at the breakdown in America.
21% are Indian. Okay, so we don't have 6% Asian.
That's right. Okay, 10% Vietnamese, 9% Korean, 7% Japanese, all others 15%.
Maybe all of that is in Hawaii. All there.
Oh, wow. Did you think it was higher?
Well, but I think that's actually a reason why there's less here because it was a successful country.
Okay, Asians now make up about 7% of the nation's overall population. This is according to 2021.
Nope, we're gonna include this. I looked up poorest Asian communities in US. Asian Americans had a poverty rate of 10% in 2019. Three percentage points lower than the overall US poverty rate, 13%. Mongolian and Burmese have the highest poverty rates among all Asian origin groups at 25%, more than twice the national average and about four times the poverty rates among Indians, 6%.
But also, no, I've had an explanation for this that my dad came up with, which is they learn English in school there, so it's easier.
And I think there's really something to that.
And professors and stuff like that.
Okay. I wrote, my mom used to love Emeril on Food Network.
What's that mean?
I actually did know that, even though I haven't seen Scarface.
Why don't- Right out of the gates.
But it's kind of one of those. I have to update my references.
What do you mean he gave you the bam? Bam! You just said it. Oh, you're saying he said it.
Oh my God, he was there working?
Sure, it was in the zeitgeist.
Okay, about restaurants, 60% of new restaurants fail within the first year. And nearly 80% shutter before their fifth anniversary.
Well, I think they're wearing like hood. They're like really in a costume.
This is Skims. I know. Okay. Over 110,000 eating, drinking establishments in the U.S. closed for business temporarily or permanently in 2020 with nearly 2.5 million jobs erased from pre-pandemic levels.
Yeah. And then they don't want to come back.
Yeah, it was juicy.
Get even is such a metaphor, but no spoilers.