Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome to Mom's Car. Today we have an old friend on, friend of the pod, Ryan Hansen, the ever charming, cute, talented, back-flipping Ryan Hansen.
Chapter 2: How did Ryan Hansen feel about fame from a young age?
Veronica Mars, party down, you name it. This guy is as charming as it gets. We love Ryan and we had a blast. Please enjoy the cutest of the cute, Ryan Hansen. You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking the coffee lids secure before you take that first sip.
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Thank you.
I think you would be the perfect person. I think we should talk about what a euphoric drug popularity is. Oh, yeah, sure. I like that. And I was thinking, you're so popular. When did you start to recognize you were popular? Like, what grade and what was going on? Uh-huh. Okay, well, I wasn't like... Are you nervous to talk about it? I'm just so self-deprecating. I know.
I'm so humble. I'm so humble. It almost hurts how humble you are. To be honest, and I'm going to be honest, I always felt pretty famous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad was a music pastor at all these churches, and, like, we were just known. Everybody knew the pastor's kids. We could do whatever we wanted. That was at church, at least. And so my brother and I ran the Sunday school mafia.
Did you abuse your powers at all? Oh, for sure. We got away with murder. What falls under the umbrella of murder at that age? Going through the lost and found and pretty much taking everything. I got all my new baseball gloves through there. Although I think my dad was in on that one.
We'd be there all day because there's like a morning service and then the later service, we were only in one, but then we just would run around backstage. We'd go in the baptism and like take some dips. Wow. Yeah, get in the baptism. Wow.
You remember men running around just wet? Did you have any... I don't know what the right word is, but, like, my father was so loved in AA. He was, like, the most popular guy in Michigan AA. You know, a trillion friends, they all loved him. Yeah. And there was some bit of me that was, like, resentful against him, and somehow I didn't love how... Sure. Oh, that's funny.
And if your dad is like being loved because he's a man of the cloth and he's a musician and a pastor, were you ever judgmental? Like, you're not that good.
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Chapter 3: What mischievous activities did Ryan and his brother engage in at church?
Well, more than here. That's for sure. Yeah. Like no one. There's a godless. I mean, none of my devil's playground. Devil's workshop. That's where we come to play. All these idle, unemployed hands. What was the joke? Was it the Emmys with the Golden Globes? Like, God shout out, zero. You know, moms, five. Mario Lopez, one. Yeah, Nikki Glaser. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was so good.
And then I went to three different junior highs. Why? Left San Jose beginning of sixth grade.
Okay.
Started a new junior high in San Diego. And then a new one opened up for eighth grade. So, like, half the school went and then half was all these other kids' schools.
And did you land on your feet at all these places?
Yeah. I think my brother had a harder time. He moved in eighth grade, so that was harder for him. For me, I was still sixth grade, so it was fine. Had some church friends that were going to these schools, so that kind of helped with friendship and all that stuff. And then I met... My crew of dudes in eighth grade, Jeremy Dent, big shout out. Okay, huge.
In eighth grade, he introduced me to cigars and shooting BB guns to playboys and go-karts. And I was like, this guy is just the coolest. And him and Matt Rukus were like best friends and opened my eyes to all that stuff. He sounds radical. Was he the most popular kid in your junior high? Jeremy? Yeah. Yeah, probably. The funniest. Didn't give a shit. Always wore weird stuff. Divorced parents? No.
Oh, wow. Good family.
Happily married.
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Chapter 4: How did high school popularity affect Ryan's friendships?
A horse? Which I'm sure he was told. Rest assured, there's no million-dollar racehorse in Michigan. That's the story, yeah, yeah. But everyone thinks everyone's so rich. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Because you're like a 14-year-old boy riding a horse away from you.
And he rode it like down to Florida.
That sounds fucking awesome. Oh, my God. And he's like, you got to keep the horse now. How do you fence a horse? Who are you going to find that's going to buy the horse? It's pretty tough to hide your fucking horse. How do you ride the horse? How do you ride it, bareback? Clean it. Clean up the shit. Oh, God. I don't imagine he just put it in a field or something and hope no one saw it.
I went through a little bit of a stealing phase. Nothing like horses or ATVs or whatever, but I got my CD book stolen out of my car. You know, the mixed CDs. You work so hard for your collection and I was so fucking pissed. So we would just walk around Cottonwood, the neighborhood, and just like check. We would never... break anything, but if it was open, it's gone.
We'd go into garages, take some shit. Funny you'd say that. That's where it started, is car hopping. Yeah. You guys would call it car hopping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They would meet before school to car hop. My thing was, like, we'd hang out at the movie theater, and I'd go in and steal a cart of cigarettes. Like, I'd steal from a store. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just weird. You have levels. Of course.
Yeah, you don't care if you're stealing from...
The man. The company, SMP. So the guys who like started that or co-founded or whatever would have a sale out front of their house every year. And they set up shop that night before and I drove by it in my home. I'm like, boys, it's all out there. We took my buddy Jeremy's VW bus and my mom's Explorer. I fucking went and I loaded it up. We did a couple trips.
The next morning, my dad's like trying on clothes, like, this is great. Our friends, whatever. And then my buddies went back the next day, because they didn't get the box of board shorts they wanted. and they saw him, and they caught him. So the cops came, and they scared us, and they didn't press charges. Did you feel guilty, too? Yeah, well, because they're like, this is our family's business.
This is how I feed, and all the kids are there and stuff. It's just like, sorry. And they had, like, the coolest surf shop in San Diego, or in East County, at least.
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Chapter 5: What challenges did Ryan face during his teenage years?
That was maybe in the only six months we drank normally. If you could even, I don't think it was ever normal. What's normal? Is that after five o'clock? Yeah, just we were off slow. Shit face. No, that's what I'm saying. We started off really going hard, but maybe the frequency wasn't. Right. And it wasn't like, oh, that's required to have any other kind of fun. Step one is get beer.
Whenever that happens, you forget that you can have fun without beer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was in that six months before.
Yeah, I was going to say that happened fast. Yeah. Yeah.
Like, this is so good. Yes, it's so much more fun. When did you guys first get drunk? How old? Together? No. This was another one of our issues by eighth grade.
Eighth grade?
Is that I didn't, I wasn't ever going to drink because my dad was an alcoholic. That was my plan. And Aaron was drinking and then starting to do drugs. That was starting the separation. Yeah, yeah. That was towards the end of eighth grade.
So Aaron was in eighth grade? Yeah, I was in eighth grade. I guess mine was ninth grade. Las Vegas. In Vegas. In Vegas. Wait, how did that happen? You must have been with your family. I went to Thanksgiving with my buddy Brett Hilcher's family, which was a big deal. My parents did not want me to go. I'm like, I have to go. Yes. And then they had a hotel room, and the mom was out.
They were gambling, and they had liquor in the room. Yes.
We took it out on the strip, and we were drinking. We were in the Valley's Fountains, and we were having a blast. Those early ones are about as— I almost texted you two nights ago. I bet once a month, I just think back to the time we went to opening day and drank those Colt 45 64-ounce jugs.
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Chapter 6: What were the consequences of Ryan's rebellious behavior?
It was an all-star squad. Okay. So it's like club cheer. You don't cheer for a football team. You just cheer for yourselves, I guess.
You compete, you throw someone in the air.
But that was just my senior year. So I would do football and cheer. And you were the captain of both? There was four captains on the team. I was one of the captains.
Okay. That's amazing.
That's fucking amazing.
It is. I, in retrospect, like mine, which was not popular in elementary school, so popular in junior high. I loved it. What about high school? I love being popular. Yeah, sure. God, I loved it. I got away with murder. Oh, it's just everyone was excited to see you.
Everyone wanted to see what you're going to do next.
Yeah.
It was so fun. And I was thinking because my daughter went to like a party with other kids her age. I was just remembering that this is when, this is so gross to say, but kind of the legend of Aaron and I started. Yeah. Was going to this girl Brandy's birthday party. This is when it all started. And we were there and we just were always so comfortable with each other.
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Chapter 7: How did Ryan's family background influence his teenage experiences?
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Exclusions may apply. Terms and minimum order apply. See app for details. All to say, there was this boy when I first moved to Highland to my neighborhood and I was brand new there. I didn't know anyone. And he was the first to kind of ride his bike up to my yard and ask if I wanted to come over.
So I went to his house and he was very sweet, but he had like a coin collection and he had wallpaper of old cars on his wall. Not cool cars, but old timey cars. He loved old trains and coin collections. And he talked about his grandpa all the time. And he was enormous, too. He was like a big boy like me. Anyways, I had been friendly with him when I first moved there.
And then I definitely outgrew him really quick, which is sad. And I felt guilty about it. But somehow he wanted to get in the mix. I'll never forget. I punched him in the stomach in the parking lot of Spring Mills. Parking lot? For some reason, once in a while, you'd have recess in the parking lot because it was too muddy or some shit. I don't know why we were in the parking lot.
But I punched him in the stomach and it knocked the wind out of him. And he got really, really scared. And he fell down and he was crying. And I felt so fucking bad. And then I told Clay, I don't want to fight at recess anymore. I don't think anyone likes us. I think they're just scared of us. And he was like, yeah, go on your way. I'm going to stick with this. And God bless him.
He stuck with it. Wow. And then I had to go get this other group of friends, which I'm glad I did. But I was driven there by feeling really terrible.
Well, good for you.
I like that story. I did too. I love the ending, yeah.
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