ask a sub
Episodes
146. This Sex Cult Stole Our Sh*t! With Natalie Robehmed of Allison After NXIVM
13 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This month on the Deep Dive series we're joined by journalist Natalie Robehmed, whose exclusive access to Allison Mack after her time in prison culmin...
145. JennaWorld & Why We're So Weird About Porn with Molly Lambert
07 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week we're joined buy Molly Lambert, host of the JennaWorld podcast all about Jenna Jameson, Vivid Video, & The Valley. We track the recent hist...
144. Noelle Perdue Is A Pervert (Not Derogatory)
29 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Noelle Perdue, writer of the PORN WORLD substack and noted Thinker of Thoughts joins us on the pod this week to break down the porn industry, the powe...
143. Consciously Un-Subbing
23 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A listener wants to know how to curate a conscious breakup, and Lina speaks to the unusual amount of D/s ghosts she's heard about lately. THE ASK A ...
142. Quick Hits: Emily Tied-To-A-Post (And Whipped!)
14 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week Lina puts on her etiquette hat to solve the age-old issue of who cleans up after a scene! Also included are Mr. Dune reading assignments, a ...
141. Your Partner Is Not A McDonald's Soft Serve Machine
08 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when you have to take a pause but centuries of social conditioning tell you you're not allowed to stop until your partner comes?? Follow ...
140. Now Write 'Submissive ≠ Passive' 50 Times On The Blackboard While I Pelt Chalk At You
31 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Lina takes the mic this week to clarify a misunderstanding about the responsibility of subs in D/s dynamics, how both partners can bring 100%, and onc...
139. How To F*ck Like A Girl with Vera Blossom
25 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How DO you f*ck like a girl?? Vera Blossom has the answers in her debut essay collection by the same name, a trans coming of age that reads like an ep...
138. The Non-Verbal Mambo
17 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Lina is back and we're easing you back in with a medium-unhinged episode title & a discussion about how to bolster communication among the neurospicy ...
137. Kink Event Girl! Put The Bass In Your Walk, Head To Toe Let Your Whole Body Talk
10 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hey raccoons! Lina's still away on her meditation retreat so it's Mr. Dune again. Don't worry, Lina will be back next week (she's coming home tomorow ...
136. Switch On Me Once, Shame On.. Shame On You. Switch On Me Twice... A Switch Can't Get Switched On Again
04 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hey ya'll, Lina's off on a meditation retreat out of cell phone range so it's Mr. Dune's job to write up the title and the podcast description for thi...
135. From the Subby Archives: The Origins Of The Folsom Street Fair
26 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In honor of the Folsom Street Fair happening this weekend, we're rummaging through the Ask a Sub Supply Closet full of lube and butt plugs to bring yo...
134. Living Truthfully on an Imaginary First Date
19 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ok so if kink isn't role play for you but you want to inject some role play in your kink… what the heck do you do? This Hellraiser-style puzzle box ...
133. The Wonderful World of Thuddy Impact Toys
13 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A listener wants to enter THE THUD ZONE *guitar solo* *flames* *monster truck* and Lina activates her Special Interest mode to outline what makes a to...
132. In Praise Of Pickiness
07 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When are we being too picky with our play partners? Listen, nothing is perfect, but if your ick is "doesn't respect my boundaries" or "is unsafe" … ...
131. Ugly Sex with Margeaux Feldman AKA Softcore Trauma
30 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Margeaux Feldman joined me for a deep dive into their work around trauma, sexuality, chronic illness, and queerness. Get Margeaux's upcoming book 'Tou...
130. The Republican Dommy Mommy Archetype
22 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today Lina reads a piece that's popping off on her substack about the intersection of The Hunting Wives, Susan Sontag, fascism, and Leather aesthetics...
129. On Not Turning Your Daddy Into Your Dad
16 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A caller has gone no contact with her parents and wants to know how to be mindful with not projecting that trauma on her Daddy Dom. As a bit of an exp...
128. Is Everybody Frickin' Poly Or What??
08 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's summer. It's hot. It's sexy. And what's more hot and sexy than… endless scheduling and calendars? A caller wants to know how to stay sane while...
127. The Things You Cannot Unsee In Public Play Spaces (And Why You Should See *Some* Of Them)
01 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We got a write-in question from a Patreon member wondering how to prepare for a big public kink event like Folsom, and Lina gets into creating a plan ...
126. Quick Hits: Objectification, Romance Fiction, and The Skeezy Little Black Book
26 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hey it's the episode where you write in and ask about the light or deep kink questions that are on your mind! Today we're talking about how being a hu...
125. The Clown Serenity Prayer with Gutter the Mod
19 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What do online privacy, sex work decrim, fire butt pix, and clowns have in common? Well they're all special interests of our Deep Dive guest this mont...
124. Do You Have To Bring Your 35-Year-Old Boyfriend To The Olive Garden?
12 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Should we keep our friendships separate from our D/s dynamics? Should we merge all our relationships, friendships, and situationships into the world's...
123. The ENM Jealousy Thrill Ride
28 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
ISN'T BEING AN OPEN-HEARTED AND EVOLVED HUMAN SO FUN??? HAHA Well this week we're talking about what to do when your partner is in love, not forcing y...
122. With Pride this June We Take it Up the Butt 🫡
20 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The first brick at Stonewall. The repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". Obergefell v. Hodges. What better way to commemorate these extremely profound and...
121. Quick Hits: On The Mic In A Ball Gag
13 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How do we advocate for our desires the same way we advocate for our limits? How do we see ourselves as valid even if we're bedroom-only? How can a saf...
120. When Threesome Fantasies Become Threesome Icks
06 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A caller wants to know what to do when a threesome fantasy about a friend becomes a sudden turn-off. Lina does some Ick Forensics™️ on what could ...
119. Should Doms sub? Should subs Dom? Should chaos reign supreme?
30 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today Lina answers one of life's age old questions, one that's debated frequently in a public forum much like the God question or origins of the unive...
118. Sydney Baloue Is A Daddy Enthusiast
23 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Sydney Baloue is a writer, performer, event producer and advocate for racial, social, and gender justice, LGBTQ+ rights, and for trans-masculine visib...
117. Break Glass for Instant 24/7 Starter Kit
17 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A long-married caller wants to know how to jumpstart a 24/7 dynamic with a partner who may have some reservations. Lina validates that your 24/7 dynam...
116. Escaping Neurospicy Perfectionism
11 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ok so I've brought you into my basement, tied you to a chair, fixed a single lightbulb on you, put my spiky boot between your legs, leaned in real clo...
115. Quick Hits: Vetting Q's & Power Struggles
02 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this new monthly series Lina is answering quick text-based q's from paid members and bringing them to the public feed! This month we're talking abo...
114. Kink In The Tarot with Michelle Tea
27 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Activist and writer Michelle Tea joined me this month to vulnerably discuss the places magic intersects with lineage, life, and sex. We transitioned i...
113. Licking Your Wounds (Figurative …Unless?)
19 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A caller wants to know how to repair their relationship with their mind and body after a breakup. Lina's take? Don't let your drive to be considerate ...
112. Scaring Your Partner's Pants Off
12 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Craving a broad introduction to fear play? I bet you are you sick freak!! In this lesson, I mean episode, Lina talks about the classics of fear play: ...
111. Hot and Unbothered with Yana Tallon-Hicks
04 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Sex therapist and author Yana Tallon-Hicks dropped by to share some practical sex advice, thoughts on neurodivergence and kink, and lay down some beau...
110. A Fire Under Every Butt!
01 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Introducing my campaign slogan — let's get a fire under every would-be Dom's butt! You can't light the fire, but you can toss some kindling on the s...
109. Communicating With Your Butt aka The Hanky Code
22 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Communication is hard! Ever wanted to do it non-verbally with your butt? Enter: the hanky code. Today we're talking about its origins in queer cruisin...
108. Porn Addiction Is Not Real with Erica Smith
14 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Erica Smith helps Purity Culture dropouts rebuild their sexual ethic after escaping restrictive religions, and this week she's helping all of us deal ...
107. Trust Your Sub Swoons
08 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A listener calls in wondering how in god's name to deal with having a CRUSH on a CIS MAN?!? (Valid). Lina gives an answer about trusting your body and...
106. Calling All Beleaguered Subs
22 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week we've got a HUGE announcement and a call from a sub who sounds frickin' exhausted. Who isn't?? Lina reminds everybody about how submission b...
105. Cupid Likes It Up The Ass
14 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Lina shares a million thoughts on anal sex from a sub's perspective including sweet meditations on the butt's position as a metaphor for the liminal s...
104. Protocol Brain Dump
08 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A sub in an M/s dynamic calls in wondering how to integrate more long distance service into their dynamic and Lina nerds out on protocol in great deta...
103. Let's Talk About Latex!
24 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Calling all rubber buggy baby kinksters… let's take a hard 180 away from the doomscroll and talk about the surprising history of the latex kink. Fro...
102. When Is Romance A Limit?
18 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A listener calls in feeling big feelings about a new Dom, and Lina talks about making the most of the safe havens we find along the road to our dream ...
101. Tough Love For People Pleasers
13 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hey!! Hey you!! Stop worrying about upsetting people with your very reasonable needs and requests! In today's episode, a caller worries that their Dom...
100. Abolish The Family with Sophie Lewis & An Erotica Surprise
03 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
No family?! Community kitchens?! Mandatory orgies?! Less social isolation?! This is the future the left wants, and Lina is forcing it down your throat...
99. Fear Is Good, Actually
28 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This Christmas, fear isn't just for the ballot box. That's right, a caller wants to know how to negotiate with fear around kinks, edges, and, the scar...
98. Queer Pill Your Holidays
20 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A caller wants to know if straight people are ruining kink, and Lina gets into the history of gentrification in the kink world and how well-meaning st...
97. Debuting Your Kinks: A Formula
14 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wondered how to drop the news of some of your less mainstream kinks in a relationship? You know… the really head-turning ones that would shock ...
96. Age Gap Autumn
08 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Gather 'round to hear the debauched tales of connection, mutual support, and hot sex contained in the ever problematic social media boogeyman… the A...
95. The World Needs Male Subs
17 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Looootttttaaaaaa feelings about gender this week, huh folks? We're discussing the "gender wars," how you can assist in the political apocalypse, and h...
94. Feral Raccoon Hour with the AAS Moderators
02 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Come one, come all, to the wholesome dumpster we raccoons cluster in also known as the Ask A Sub discord community. The community is a benefit of patr...
93. Kink for Survivors
25 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A caller wants to know how to use their kinky toolkit to address a recently resurfaced memory of past trauma, and Lina gets into how kink, while not a...
92. The Spiky Wartenberg Wheel Of Emotions
18 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
C'mon guys, a tale as old as time. We've all been there - your Dom is seeing other subs, and your jealousy and the Social Media Demon have twisted the...
91. Getting Left Hanging (Not In The Fun Way)
11 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A sub calls in wondering what to do when you've been in multiple relationships where the kink slowly vanishes over time. Are you going crazy?? No, thi...
90. Switch for Switch Poly Parenting with Evolving Love Project
04 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You guys — we did it — we trapped a true switch for switch poly couple with our big butterfly net and dove deep into their deeply respectful and i...
89. Sub On The Street: Folsom Street Fair
27 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Get your spot in the Conscious Kink 2 Incubator and learn more about it here. Registration ends 9/27 at 11:59pm pacific. Get more Folsom info from ...
88. Getting Off Hold
20 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We've all been there — an on again, off again dynamic that keeps us trapped in a cycle where we feel that person is the one who can unlock the sex l...
87. Rebuilding Your Dynamic After De-escalation
13 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
More and more D/s couples are having to put their dynamics on pause lately, and we want to give you the tools to find your way back to each other. Thi...
86. Fewer Bisexual Fucks to Give
06 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We talk a lot on this podcast about feeling "queer enough," and a straight passing queer couple wonders how to feel more at home in queer spaces. Lina...
85. Safety is Hardcore with Tina Horn
30 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Writer, educatrix, and all around kink community badass Tina Horn joined us to talk all about hardcore kinks and fetishes and how we sort kinks into t...
84. Divine Masculine & Feminine Energies are Sus
23 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
GENDER!! Ever hear of it?! Lina's popping off on the presidential election, right-wing weird shit, and the subtle leak of conspirituality-adjacent ter...
83. Chronically Kinky
16 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In a transmission from God's hot car, Lina discusses the relationship between kink and chronic pain, and advises a Spoonie who's playing with a doctor...
82. Fake Dom 2.0
02 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We all know about Fake Doms, people on dating apps who co-opt the language of BDSM to push a misogynistic agenda, but what about when the messaging of...
81. Subby Future Tripping
26 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Why are subs and kinky people so prone to tripping out on what the future could be? Well, as the saying goes, subs plan and Doms laugh at our anticipa...
80. Getting The Switch Itch
19 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria! When can a sub be a Dom? A caller wants to know when their Dommy tendencies qualify them to start switc...
79. Making it Weird While Keeping it Secure with Casey Tanner aka @queersextherapy
13 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this preview of Deep Dive, Lina chats with Casey Tanner, @queersextherapy, about their new book Feel It All. Topics covered include defining secure...
78. Outgrowing Your Fish Tank
05 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when you're criss crossing all your red string a la Charlie Day while researching D/s to broaden the scope of your dynamic, but your Dom ...
77. An AMA with Lina
28 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This month for pride, join your very own fave bisexual goblin for a wide ranging AMA! That's right, I answered your q's in real time just like the old...
76. D/s Is A Love Language
21 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a married couple struggles with the ways D/s sometimes outwardly looks like the oppressive gender roles they were raised with, and have bee...
75. Your Brain Is A Soft-Boiled Egg
14 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Lina gives some tender yet protective advice to a 20-year-old sub looking to start their kink journey. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a ...
74. Eating Olives Off the Floor with Novelist R.O. Kwon
07 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
R.O. Kwon stopped by the pod this week to talk about her new book Exhibit, a tale about kink, queerness, and what happens when people pursue that whi...
73. Zero Sum Cats with Dollie the Discord Mod
31 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Our Deep Dive guest this month is many things — a kink/rope organizer, an amazing friend, a top-tier emoji-reactor, and a Ask A Sub discord moderato...
72. The Subby Art of Letting Go
24 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A sub calls in wondering how to "do" submission right, and Lina shares some wisdom about how to avoid submissive doing and embrace submissive being. T...
71. Age Play with Baby Linh
17 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Age Play is considered by some to be one of the most taboo kinks out there, but what if it was just cute inner child work? Age play creator Baby Linh ...
70. Spit It Out with Alison Stevenson
10 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Today's episode is brought to you by our friends at Feeld, the dating app for the curious! The theme of the day is spitting it out - from feelings to ...
69. Cucking Aftercare
03 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
That's me in the corner… that's me in the… somewhat challenging aftercare predicament? A listener calls in about how to engineer proper aftercare ...
68. Everybody Needs To Chill with Bae Leche
26 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Bae Leche dropped by the pod to talk about being a non-monogamous mom, dating while pregnant, and new corners of her sexuality she's discovering in th...
67. The Submissive Awakening
19 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Kink arrives in your life looking like a problem, but it's really a solution. In this episode, Lina leads a listener through the daunting moment of ta...
66. Public Humiliation - Where's The Line?
12 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A listener asks the age-old question of where the line is with public humiliation kinks and involving bystanders, and Lina dives in with things to con...
65. Dating Your Intuition
05 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
How can you date again after a D/s relationship turns abusive? You start by dating your intuition. To support the pod and join our thriving ask a s...
64. Committed And Kinky
29 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A listener calls in after someone told them saying they are kinky means they are probably not looking for anything serious. Obviously this is not true...
63. Everyone Is Grieving
22 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I've been through some shit lately and wanted to share the ways people have supported me so you can support those in your life who are also going thro...
62. Accessible Glory Holes with Andrew Gurza
15 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Disability advocate, sex toy creator, and host of Disability After Dark Andrew Gurza joins us to talk all about non-binary identity, dating while disa...
61. The Veto Blues
01 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A sub is concerned that her Dom's wife is going to veto their dynamic and wonders how she can modify her behavior to make the wife more comfortable. L...
60. The 24/7 D/s Buffet
23 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
So you've got somebody to do 24/7 with - great! Now how the hell do you narrow down all the options and create a bespoke practice just for you? Lina w...
59. Neurospicy & Ready To Party
16 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week a caller on the autism spectrum and his partner with ADD wonder if there is a link between kink and neurodivergence. Let's talk about it! To...
58. Kinky Divorced Moms Deserve A Win
09 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Due to unforeseen circumstances (we got COVID), in lieu of this week's scheduled episode please enjoy this rerun of a season 2 favorite. Lina intervie...
57. What Is Humiliation Anyway?
02 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
First Lina delivers a hot take about how women who sleep with men can become marginalized within kink, then teases out the difference between humiliat...
56. Dovetailing Purity Culture Into Kink
26 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We're back! And we're kicking purity culture in the pants!! Get info about the Friday 1/26 Deep Dive here! To support the pod and join our thriving ...
55. You Do Not Have To Be Good
22 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A sub calls in asking how to make amends for past mistakes. Spoiler alert: you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the deser...
54. Bloodlust & SW Labor Rights with Empress Wu
15 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The words filth and perversion barely begin to scratch the surface of what's on offer in this interview with Empress Wu and her singular penchant for ...
53. What If I Don't Have Hard Limits?
08 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A sub is concerned about sending the wrong message when telling Doms she doesn't have hard limits. What to do? To support the pod and join our thrivin...
52. Hot Bisexual Takes with Gab Alexa
01 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Bisexual polyamorous writer Gab Alexa joins me to discuss bi-erasure, queer baiting, and her spicy time at the infamous swinger's retreat Hedonism. Jo...
51. A Thanksgiving Pep Talk
22 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Hey, it's your real life calling! The one where you're not sleeping on an air mattress in a musty basement bracing yourself to hear your Uncle Jim's c...
50. What Is A Play Party?
17 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A listener wants to know the answer to a so-called googleable question - what the heck is a play party, exactly? Lina answers & gives tips on navigati...
49. Sub On The Street: Folsom 2023
10 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Get more Folsom info from this pamphlet. Special thanks to Cactus Cult Leather, BunnyLeather.com, Sylvan and Milton, SF K9 Unit, Bay Area Open Minds,...
48. Goodest Girl Syndrome
03 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Are you or a loved one affected by Goodest Girl Syndrome, aka the desire to be the absolute best in comparison to all your partner's other partners pa...
47. A Freak Behind The Lens: Photographer Alex Kacha
27 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This month's Deep Dive was with boudoir photographer and all around artiste Alex Kacha. We discussed self care, the healing gaze of the camera, and of...