EP 14: SECRET WEAPONS AGAINST BEING MISUNDERSTOOD

In this vulnerable and transformative episode of Ask The Betrayed, Sharon and Rae dive into one of the most universal pain points for betrayed partners: being misunderstood. Whether it's feeling dismissed, judged, minimized, or simply unseen, betrayal trauma magnifies how deeply we need to be understood — and how hard it can be to communicate our truth. Drawing from decades of clinical experience and lived wisdom, Sharon and Rae unpack why so many betrayed partners struggle to express themselves, why partners often misread our emotional signals, and how childhood conditioning, nervous system responses, and relational trauma shape the ways we share (or silence) our truths. This episode gives you practical tools, compassionate insight, and scripts you can use today to help you be understood — without shrinking, apologizing, or losing yourself.   🎧 In This Episode You'll Learn: • Why BEING misunderstood is different from FEELING misunderstood • How childhood messages ("You're too much," "Don't be a burden") teach us to hide our true selves • How societal norms silence betrayed partners  • Why your nervous system's "big energy" can unintentionally trigger defensiveness • How partners filter your vulnerability through their own wounds • Why many betrayed partners stop sharing after receiving dismissive or hurtful responses • How to make "bids for connection" that actually work • Tools for self-regulation before hard conversations • How to prepare for a vulnerable conversation so you can speak clearly and be heard • Questions to ask yourself to understand why something is hurting so much • How trauma, history, and old wounds intensify your reactions   💬 Key Takeaways: • You deserve to be seen, heard, and understood — not judged or minimized. • Self-regulation is the first step in being understood; clarity starts inside you. • The power of "I" statements  • Your partner's reaction is not a measure of your worth or clarity. • Vulnerability requires preparation, boundaries, and compassion for yourself. • Healthy relationships start with healthy self-connection   💡 You'll Also Hear About: • How neurodiversity (ADHD/ADD) impacts communication • How to set the emotional stage so your partner can truly hear you • How to avoid common traps   💬 Please comment below 🔔 Please Subscribe (and Like) for More Join Sharon and Rae every two weeks for grounded, empathetic conversations about healing after betrayal, rebuilding your identity, strengthening your voice, and reclaiming your life. Please share this video with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey. 📬 If you have questions you'd like us to answer in an episode, or would like to inquire about coaching with Rae or therapy help, including intensives, with Sharon and James, please reach out to us at: [email protected] 🎧 You can also find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. 🔗 Need help healing? Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or find Rae at www.HealingTalksBack.com (Email: [email protected]) Our Website: https://www.AskTheBetrayed.com Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

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