"I Was Born Upside Down"

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Backstage with Cooper & Matty Johns 47 min 3 speakers 4 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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What happened in the opening family banter and who’s sick?

Trish Johns 0:00
So I'm starting this today.
Matthew (Matty) Johns 0:02
I don't know.
Trish Johns 0:03
I think so, and I'll tell you why. Why? Because I'd like to announce at the outset that arsehole John's, remember last week when he was coughing and spluttering all over me trying to make me sick? Big one. Oh, yeah. And effectively, yes, he has. And you know what? Tragically, I even lost my voice for a couple of days.
Matthew (Matty) Johns 0:20
Oh, and it's back, is it?
Trish Johns 0:22
Yeah, and now here.
Matthew (Matty) Johns 0:24
Oh, yeah. And we wonder why.
Trish Johns 0:26
And that's just my builder, Anthony.
Yeah.
Trish Johns 0:30
Classic quarters. He's on the hotline. And the other day I actually caught him sleeping on my pillow. Sleeping on my pillow. Sleep on your own freaking pillow, mate.
Matthew (Matty) Johns 0:41
She's in my heart, surrounded by you. Why would Anthony be sleeping on your pillow? Yeah, exactly. Why is the builder sleeping in your bed at all? I'm so confused. Suddenly he's in my Sunday night audience. He's sleeping on my pillow. He's sleeping on my wife. It's just. What's going on, Anthony? Strangers in my way.
Jack Johns 1:02
Anthony's really cashing in on renovating the house.
Matthew (Matty) Johns 1:05
He's starting to have some serious demands. I'm just hoping he's taking a little bit off the top. I hope so. You really would hope so. Hey, Cooper, happy birthday, mate. Thanks, guys. Happy birthday. I was waiting for someone to say it. I thought, am I going to have to throw to my own birthday? Yeah. No, no, you don't make it. Well done. Actually, could you practice throwing? Because it's very Cooper Jones to throw to your own birthday. I didn't want to have to. Are you right, darling? Not good. Not good. Sick? So she can soldier on here. I've done it the last couple of weeks.
Trish Johns 1:34
Matt, I wasn't crying out in the middle of the night, oh, I think you need to take me to hospital.
Matthew (Matty) Johns 1:38
That's how serious mine was.
Trish Johns 1:39
Oh, hang on, hang on. Okay. Okay, people, I just need to tell you something.
Matthew (Matty) Johns 1:43
No, no, no. Actually, it's a good point because Dad's pissed me off the last week as well and I've tried to be as patient as possible with you. Dad, I love you. I love you more than life itself. I love you more than anyone in this room apart from myself.
Trish Johns 1:57
Do you love him more than me?
Matthew (Matty) Johns 1:58
That's what I just said, didn't I?
Jack Johns 2:01
But you are just the worst patient. When we did the Hudson Young interview the other day. I was that crook. You've been crook for two weeks. Exactly. And it's not bad enough that unless you are getting amputated at the hospital, you know what I mean, just front up. And the other thing you're doing is you say, I'm that crook, I'm that crook, but then you come over here, train, get your immune system all down, and then you plummet in the afternoon and you're like,
Matthew (Matty) Johns 2:28
What about yesterday? He had a cough yesterday, Cooper, and he goes to us, Trish. He goes, I'm going to go and train next door and try and get it off my chest. I'd love to see what a doctor would say about that.
Jack Johns 2:40
And then you also said, I think I've done my rib cartilage because I've been coughing so much. And then you went and trained.
Matthew (Matty) Johns 2:45
So what the hell is that supposed to do with it? What it does is just what I do. It's like when I used to roll my ankle back in the day and people used to go, mate, keep off it, look after it. I used to actually go and do a bit of work on it, get the blood flowing. How did it go for you?
Yeah.
Matthew (Matty) Johns 2:57
Went really good, actually.
Trish Johns 2:59
Yeah, that's why when I'm in emergency surgery, you stop the doctor and say, can you have a look at this?
Jack Johns 3:03
Do you think it's infected? And you know what else? Seriously. Because when he's like crook, it's almost like, yeah. Well, you just don't eggshells around him because he's just like, he's just one light breeze away from like turning into the incredible Hulk. I know. He goes, before the Hudson Young interview last week, he fell asleep. We'd lined up. I'd lined up, had some live from Canberra, basically off no sleep after the Origin game. So it was like he had a thin window.
Matthew (Matty) Johns 3:25
And I come downstairs. Dad was asleep on the couch with Luigi on his chest. And I went, oh, no. Tough guy. And I was like, it was almost like flashback to a childhood. You don't want to go and wake your dad up when he's asleep because you'll just crack the belt out straight away.

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