19. What you're really scared of

There are lots of things to fear in the ballroom world. Some things my clients offer up in sessions are: forgetting choreography, losing timing, messing up, falling down, fainting, not making finals, not placing, not winning, scoring poorly, judges marks, disappointing coaches and teachers, wasting their time. But I want to simplify this for you. The thing that you really fear isn't any of the above. The only thing we really fear is a feeling. If you dug a little in any of the above, you'll find that at the heart of it, the worst thing that can happen is a feeling. An emotion. Anything you want in life is because of how you believe it will make you feel when you have it. Similarly, anything you avoid in life is because there is a feeling you don't want to feel. This is very good news. Feelings are just vibrations in our body. They are temporary. And we create them in the first place. All of this means they can be managed. And while we don't have to love negative emotions, we certainly don't need to fear them. Think of all the things we do and worry about all to avoid feeling bad. You create the feelings yourself when you give meaning to the outcome. Whatever happened, you decide what it means with your thoughts. It's in the way that you think about it. However you frame it will largely determine how it feels. And many times you will still choose to be disappointed or feels shame or embarrassment. Because negative emotions aren't meant to be banished. They have a purpose and many are clean emotions that help us cope and move through situations. Since the worst thing that can happen is a feeling, and you can create feelings yourself, then the only thing you really have to fear is YOU and how you will treat yourself in the end. That is all in your control. Choose to not use results against yourself and you won't have much to fear. This will relieve so much unnecessary stress and pressure from your experience! Listen in for more.

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