135. When You’re the “Successful One”: Setting Money Boundaries with Family & Friends
episode
Becoming The Wealthy You | How to Save Money, Stop Overspending, Get Out of Debt, Budgeting & Personal Finance for Women
29 min
1 speaker
5 chapters
transcribed 1 month ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
You are listening to the Becoming the Wealthy You podcast with Jermaine Foley.
If you're a woman who makes good money in your career or business, but you're not building wealth like you want to, then you're in the right place. In this podcast, you'll learn how to stop overspending, break free from the cycle of debt, save lots of cash, and become the wealthy woman you were born to be. Let's dive in. Well, hello there, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. I am so glad you're here today because I want to tell you about an in-person workshop I I was in a room full of brilliant six-figure earners. These were all women in corporate America, and they had the titles, the salaries, the homes, the degrees, and on paper, they were killing it. But when we got into real conversation, the conversation that's kind of underneath the surface, something really surprising came up, and I want to talk about it with you today.
A lot of them felt pressure, not pressure to succeed because they were already doing that, but pressure to pay, pressure to pick up the tab, pressure to help family, pressure to say yes, even when they really wanted to say no. And one woman in particular shared something that really stuck with me. She said, I feel like because I make the most in my friend group, everyone just expects me to pay. And honestly, I expect it too. I think I should be paying because I make more than everybody. So I do it, but I really deep down don't want to. And that just really hit me because so many of us are carrying this same weight. Not just managing our own money, but also managing other people's expectations of us and managing our own brains when it comes to what we should or shouldn't be doing with our money.
And so that is what this episode is about today. We're going to talk about what to do when you're the successful one in your family or in your friend group and what to do when you're the one who's made it and everyone knows it. While that can feel good, it can also feel really heavy because when people think you've got it all together, they can start assuming things like you should cover the tab. You've got extra to give. Ask her. She can afford it. She can do it. And they expect you to step in over and over and over again. And if you're a Gen X woman, especially you're in the thick of it. So the Pew Research Company calls Generation X the sandwich generation. So this is women who are around my age. You were born...
in 1980 or earlier, and I think somewhere in the 60s. I don't know the exact timeframe, but you know if you're a Gen Xer or not. I know I am. I just missed being a millennial by a couple months. So we are called the sandwich generation because we are taking care of our own kids, even if they're adults, young adults, we're still taking care of them, and our aging parents. I So that means you're raising your kids, helping your mom, and probably still trying to enjoy your own life and set yourself up for retirement one day too.
What pressure do high-earning women face from family and friends?
But here's what's also true. Experian, the credit reporting company, found that Gen Xers carry more debt than any other generation. They carry an average of $150,000 worth of debt. So all of this is true, and yet everyone thinks you've got it handled. So when your cousin or sister needs help with rent, or your friend just expects you to pick up the check at happy hour, or your adult child is always a little short, or maybe your parents need help with their medical bills, you feel like you have to say yes. Because isn't that what we're supposed to do as successful women? So today we're going to break all of that down. And if you have other women in your life who are also the successful ones, share this episode with them because it's going to be so liberating.
Because here's the truth. Sometimes the pressure that we feel is external. People really do ask us for money. They expect things from us and they assume we should just handle it. But other times the pressure is internal. We feel guilty. We feel bad. We feel like we should. We feel obligated.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–3:31
2
What pressure do high-earning women face from family and friends?
3:31–12:34
3
How does being a Gen Xer create a 'sandwich generation' money burden?
12:34–18:29
4
When does external versus internal pressure cause guilt spending?
18:29–22:57
5
What are the financial consequences of overgiving for retirement goals?
22:57–29:12
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Becoming The Wealthy You | How to Save Money, Stop Overspending, Get Out of Debt, Budgeting & Personal Finance for Women
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185. Your Past Money Habits Created Your Current Financial Life
184. Why Money Keeps Coming In and Going Right Back Out