"A toxic environment is a toxic environment, whether the parents are together or they're separate." That's not a divorce coach talking. That's Dave Kopeny — a former probation officer, school counselor, and sheriff's department investigator who now works as a private investigator specializing in families whose teenagers are struggling with substance use. And what he told Lisa in this conversation is something every parent navigating a high-conflict divorce or difficult co-parenting situation needs to hear: research shows an amicable divorce is actually better for a child's mental health than staying in a toxic marriage. The problem is, most of the people in our community don't have an amicable divorce. They have a toxic divorce and a toxic co-parenting situation — and that, Dave explains, is one of the heaviest burdens a child can carry, precisely because they have no control over it.This episode goes far beyond drug facts and statistics. Dave draws a direct line between the conflict a child witnesses at home — whether inside a marriage or across two households — and their risk of turning to substances to cope with feelings they don't know how to name. He also speaks candidly to a dynamic so many BTGO parents live with every day: the co-parent who checks out entirely. Dave sees it often in his own work with families — usually a father who doesn't have day-to-day custody, is angry at his ex, and simply stops showing up. Dave's advice for the parent left holding it all is direct, practical, and free of judgment.What You'll Learn:✅ Why research shows an amicable divorce protects kids better than a toxic intact marriage✅ How ongoing co-parenting conflict becomes a burden kids have no ability to control ✅ What to do when only one parent is willing to engage with a struggling teen ✅ Why you can't have a productive conversation with your child while you're dysregulated yourself ✅ The specific behavioral changes Dave tells parents to document before confronting a teen ✅ Why a mother's intuition about her child is worth listening to — and what Dave tells fathers about it ✅ How to reframe a hard conversation as "you and your child against addiction," not you against your child ✅ Why today's marijuana is a different, far more potent substance than the drug earlier generations knew ✅ The "four eyes vs. two eyes" problem single parents face — and who to bring in when you can't partner with your ex ✅ How to open a non-shaming conversation with a teen you're worried about, in under two minutesAbout Dave Kopeny:Dave Kopeny brings a rare, full-circle perspective to the world of adolescent substance use. He grew up in a household shaped by his father's alcoholism, later lost a brother to long-term addiction and a sister-in-law to a heroin overdose — experiences that shaped both his empathy and his career. Dave spent decades working directly with high-risk youth, starting as a juvenile probation officer in California, then serving as a school counselor, returning to intensive probation work, and later investigating for a sheriff's department. Today, as a private investigator, he specializes in helping families whose children are struggling with substance use disorder find their way toward lasting sobriety. He is the author of a book on adolescent addiction and founded a free online community where parents can learn the facts about teen substance use without cost or obligation.

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