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Before Breakfast

Make it easy to strike up a conversation

05 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 20.233 Unknown

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Run a business and not thinking about podcasting? Think again. More Americans listen to podcasts than add supported streaming music from Spotify and Pandora. And as the number one podcaster, iHeart's twice as large as the next two combined. Learn how podcasting can help your business. Call 844-844-iHeart.

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23.376 - 53.629 Laura Vanderkam

Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeart Radio. Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's tip is to offer little visible hints about what you're interested in. This will make it easier for people to strike up a conversation with you, which can make the world feel a little smaller and more warm.

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55.516 - 85.472 Laura Vanderkam

Today's tip was inspired by an article in the New York Times by Gillian Sandstrom. She recommends initiating conversations with people whose interests are visible, as she puts it. To illustrate what she means, the article offers the example of a band T-shirt, a museum tote bag, an antique brooch, or a book the person is reading. Each gives a little window into what the person likes.

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85.452 - 107.41 Laura Vanderkam

In starting a conversation, it would seem to help if you also like that band or museum or into classic jewelry or have read something by the author of that book. But even if the visible interest isn't one you share, you can feel reasonably confident that the other person may be open to chatting about it if you mention it.

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108.858 - 135.557 Laura Vanderkam

This seems like a great idea, and I would propose a twist on it, which is an additional way to invite connection. Make your own interests visible to the broader world. For instance, if you love talking about your cat, make a photo of your cat, the wallpaper for your cell phone. Use a key ring promoting an arts organization you love.

136.229 - 165.214 Laura Vanderkam

Sport a conversation starter scarf that you bought when you were traveling in a place you find special. Carry a tote bag with a quote from the obscure Victorian novel that you have read a dozen times. Wear athletic attire celebrating your favorite team or your alma mater. Little hints at what you're into can serve as invitations for like-minded people to say hello.

165.254 - 185.457 Laura Vanderkam

I can tell you, for example, that when my husband wears a Texas A&M t-shirt, people randomly come up to him on the street and say, Most of these actions are fun but brief. Occasionally, though, people connect with him about someone they both knew or an era at the school.

186.483 - 203.92 Laura Vanderkam

Not only do visible interests make it easier for strangers to strike up a conversation, they can also seed conversations with acquaintances. Swag from the college you attended or photo of you and your family at a favorite travel destination or calendar with images from an artist you love.

204.861 - 223.845 Laura Vanderkam

Items like these on your desk or in your Zoom background can offer a starting point for chit-chat with people you already know. Suddenly, Mark from accounting becomes Mark, who also loves Matisse and wants to know if you've ever been to the Barnes.

Chapter 2: What tips does the host provide for making your interests visible?

253.128 - 285.715 Laura Vanderkam

So if you want more connection in your life, try making your interests visible. Consider what you'd like to chat about and identify cues to let people know of those interests. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening. And here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.

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285.735 - 308.998 Laura Vanderkam

If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam.com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeart Media. For more podcasts from iHeart Media, please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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342.914 - 363.818 Unknown

Listen to Superhuman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until karma made her pay for it. All right, Sophia, tell me about how we started this story. She moved in for two weeks, lasted five days, left a mess, and then pressed her ear against their bedroom door and burst in screaming.

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363.939 - 380.857 Unknown

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381.139 - 382.525 Laura Vanderkam

This is an iHeart podcast.

Chapter 3: How can visible interests help initiate conversations?

383.671 - 385.459 Laura Vanderkam

Guaranteed human.

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