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Before Breakfast

Second Cup: Make boundaries positive

26 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 1.893 Laura Vanderkam

This is an iHeart Podcast.

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2.975 - 6.619 Sam Jay

Guaranteed human. On the Look Back At It podcast.

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6.84 - 9.623 Unknown

1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me.

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10.244 - 23.701 Sam Jay

I'm Sam Jay. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. 84 was a wild year.

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23.721 - 34.795 Unknown

It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for Black people. Listen to Look Back at It on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

38.58 - 71.188 Laura Vanderkam

Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's tip is to make boundaries positive. There are all sorts of things we would prefer not to do for reasons of work-life balance. But rather than make these sound negative and focused on what we won't do, we can point out what we still can do.

72.549 - 102.711 Laura Vanderkam

Because it's usually still a lot. Today's tip, like some others this week, comes from Laura Mae Martin's new book, Uptime. Martin is Google's productivity guru, and she coaches executives there on how to be more efficient. In her book, she notes that the bridge between boundaries and approachability is the right communication. The best way to communicate boundaries is to frame from the positive.

104.093 - 132.064 Laura Vanderkam

You highlight what you will do, not what you won't. So, for example, I don't take meetings on Fridays becomes I take meetings Monday to Thursday. I don't instant message outside my work hours becomes I'm available by messaging between 7 a.m. and 5 p.m. I'm not taking any new clients right now becomes something like I'm taking new clients starting in July.

133.175 - 157.393 Laura Vanderkam

And I don't have time during the week to meet about this topic becomes I have office hours every Friday where I can meet on this topic. All of these statements get at the exact same thing, but they sound so much more positive. Wow, this person is available by messaging for 10 hours every day. That's a lot.

Chapter 2: What is the main tip for making boundaries positive?

240.801 - 276.02 Laura Vanderkam

And that makes people more likely to honor them, because these boundaries seem reasonable. Maybe they won't honor them all the time, but a lot of the time. And that can make all the difference. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening. And here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.

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276.04 - 299.346 Laura Vanderkam

If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravanderkam.com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeart Media. For more podcasts from iHeart Media, please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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309.468 - 310.89 Sam Jay

On the Look Back At It podcast.

0

310.91 - 313.933 Unknown

1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me.

0

314.533 - 326.907 Sam Jay

I'm Sam Jay. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s.

326.927 - 339.625 Unknown

84 was a wild year. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to Look Back at It on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

339.645 - 355.624 Keir Gaines

Hey, what's good, y'all? You're listening to Learn the Hard Way with your favorite therapist and host, Keir Gaines. This space is about Black men's experiences, having honest conversations that it's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men...

355.604 - 374.187 Keir Gaines

carry a suit of armor it signals to the world that you not to be played with and just because you have the capability that does not mean that you need to listen to learn the hard way on the iHeartRadio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts this is an iHeart podcast guaranteed human

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