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Before Breakfast

Similarities lead to liking

23 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 23.351 Brendan Boyle

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Run a business and not thinking about podcasting? Think again. More Americans listen to podcasts than add supported streaming music from Spotify and Pandora. And as the number one podcaster, iHeart's twice as large as the next two combined. Learn how podcasting can help your business. Call 844-844-iHeart.

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23.371 - 50.878 Laura Vanderkam

Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeart Radio. Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's tip is that similarities lead to liking. So when you encounter someone new, by highlighting things you share, you may be able to connect more quickly.

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52.597 - 78.452 Laura Vanderkam

Today's tip, like some other ones we'll be doing soon, comes from Robert Cialdini's book, Persuasion, a revolutionary way to influence and persuade. In Persuasion, Cialdini asserts that similarities lead to liking, which makes sense. If you share common interests or a common background with somebody, it can be easier to connect and get to know each other.

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79.816 - 109.182 Laura Vanderkam

But similarity can lead to liking in more unexpected ways, too. For instance, Cialdini notes that servers who are coached on echoing their customers' manner of speaking were able to increase their tips. Random similarities apparently pave the way for liking, too. This insight will pop up all over the place once you recognize it. If you rent cars frequently when you travel,

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109.499 - 129.487 Laura Vanderkam

My hunch is that you have had a lot of conversations with rental car agents about your home state. You hand over your driver's license and the agent says something like, Tennessee, Peyton Manning was the best quarterback of all time. Then you connect over your shared love of Tennessee football.

130.909 - 154.275 Laura Vanderkam

Maybe the next time you rent a car, you find out that, what a coincidence, the rental car agent's aunt lives in Nashville. Maybe another time the agent wants to go to Dollywood next summer. Suddenly, you are starting to wonder whether people from Tennessee or whatever your home state is make up a disproportionate number of rental car agents. Now, that could be the case.

155.196 - 180.027 Laura Vanderkam

But my guess is that the managers who train agents know what Cialdini pointed out. we like people that we perceive as similar. So if you want a customer to like you, you point out a similarity. Since rental car agents have to look at people's driver's licenses, this is a quick way to find something to talk about.

181.188 - 199.969 Laura Vanderkam

Probably every rental car agent can make some sort of connection to a state where many of their renters come from. When they start a conversation about your home state, you feel connected. This similarity fosters liking, so you can cheerfully pass the time while the agent completes your paperwork.

Chapter 2: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

200.877 - 226.817 Laura Vanderkam

If an issue comes up, like them not having the size car that you reserved, you are predisposed to liking the agent at this point. So everybody stays more calm. If rental car agents can do this easily, so can you. While you don't want to be manipulative, spotting similarities can be helpful in many contexts.

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227.725 - 236.439 Laura Vanderkam

At the farmer's market, you might notice that one of the vendors is wearing a Chicago Cubs baseball hat. You let them know that you are a fan, too.

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Chapter 3: How can highlighting shared similarities improve connections?

237.841 - 254.188 Laura Vanderkam

Next thing you know, you are getting to sample the peach crisp that is that vendor's specialty. When you're sitting on the patio of a brewery and a golden doodle wanders over, you could pet the dog and let the owner know you have a golden doodle at home as well.

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255.113 - 288.001 Laura Vanderkam

Next thing you know, you are talking about a great dog groomer she just found who has much more convenient appointment times than the place you have been going. These similarities make for easy conversations, which makes life feel a little more cheerful. We are positively disposed to people. And suddenly, we are no longer strangers. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening.

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289.363 - 301.138 Laura Vanderkam

And here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.

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Chapter 4: What insights does Robert Cialdini provide about persuasion?

301.859 - 325.114 Laura Vanderkam

If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at LauraVanderkam.com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeart Media. For more podcasts from iHeart Media, please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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335.202 - 360.343 Hoda Kotb

Joy is essential and it's also elusive. But now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotb. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Joy 101, and listen now.

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360.764 - 364.787 Hoda Kotb

Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is presented by CVS.

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368.041 - 374.993

There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me.

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378.118 - 390.398 Brit Prawat

Evil, wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Krivak and DePippo. Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum.

390.599 - 402.805

I said I'm not guilty. I'll take it to the grave. Listen to The Devil's Quarry and the Bone Valley Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

409.5 - 413.488 Laura Vanderkam

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.

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