Begin Again with Davina McCall
What Happens When You Lose Your Sense?: Begin Again Moments
09 Mar 2026
Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
I could never do stand-up. Yeah, it's... I really, I just couldn't do it.
But I regret, I stopped for six years and it was like, when we talk about, like now, it's a really interesting thing when I look and we, this open conversation, especially in the male space about mental health and where we sit and how we look into, you know, you talk about the dyslexia or something that, like, if I'm honest with you, yeah,
And this doesn't mean I never like got diagnosed as a kid because once I left school and I worked as a labor, I was like, I'm never going to need to write again. It's just like, you know, and I did really, I'd write poetry. I'd write like skits or I'd write things. But even now, like, you know, if I'm on stage, a lot of my act is comes from in the moment.
Chapter 2: What led Tom Davis to step away from stand-up comedy?
And that's where I like strip. I was stripped to that for like six years where like the anxiety and the, the, The mental anguish of, at first I was fearless, right? So when I first started stand up, I was like, this is just, this should be another thing I might fail at. And I was very, I worked hard at it, I grafted, I was very much like, this is something that I love doing.
And all of a sudden, from having what felt like a very limited life, felt like all of a sudden I was doing something actually which is quite creative and this feels more like... This is you. And a lot of people were still being like, what are you going to do? You're not going to make a living out of it. And I never needed that. But you know what?
for like 10 minutes on stage, I'm able to do something that I enjoy for me. And then you get a little bit of success and you start. And then I had like external people around me. What was, what now feels like, there was like an ilk then of like, this is what a comedian almost looked like. And I wasn't that thing.
And I was like getting sort of, and I was kind of like, you know, Lee Francis is one of our really close friends. He's like, Lee had seen me and stuff through James the Fond, who was like a childhood friend.
and Lee had seen me and stuff and Lee saw something and as James, obviously, you know, I wouldn't be here without James de Fronde and it's probably the only few people that I get very choked up when I talk about, but I wouldn't have a career. And he saw that and way before I ever did.
I'll get more emotional talking about James than anything else actually no but it's like as a male friendship goes and he always had that belief and it was unwavered and we've been through a hell of a lot together as friends and as colleagues but That side of him was like... He came to every gig for years. I mean, oh, my God. It was amazing. Incredible to have someone like that. Support.
Yeah, that's what you need from a friend. But I think then other external voices came in and you're sort of like... So tell me what the voice sounded like to you. Every gig was like, I'll prep, I'll prep, I'll prep. So when I first started, I didn't know what a stand-up... My only... I wasn't like... You didn't have a formula.
No, and I hadn't trained to... And I hadn't also... I wasn't like someone who... You know, Eddie Murphy wore or Bernie... Like, I loved a lot of Def Jam and that sort of stuff. But I wasn't going to, like... It wasn't... Comedy felt at times quite middle class. It was weird to see Mickey Flanagan. I went to see him at the Backyard Club. He is so funny. He's so brilliant.
And Mickey was the guy that I saw doing stand-up and I thought, oh, actually, wow, this is like...
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Chapter 3: How did anxiety affect Tom's self-belief and career?
Not like, because it sounds disrespectful to say, but I sort of thought, fuck, he's talking about stuff that I talk about down the pub and we laugh about on the building site. Yes. I know exactly what you mean. So once we got into it, so once I started, you know, I'd write stuff and I'd learn stuff and whatever, but I'd enjoy it. And then all of a sudden it became more serious than that.
And it became People were like and you need to write your material and yeah, I don't know how like but when you're then trying out for to do spots on television They want to read your act and I've never written it down because you know, right?
Yeah, and also being dyslexic like, you know, so I then start like the piling pressure on every gig like you're talking about there every gig was like and it didn't matter if it was like in front of seven people in a pub or a tryout for something and And what did that pressure feel like? Can you explain? Like, not being able to eat that day. Like, literally, and just, like... Heart rate.
Yeah, heart rate up, anxiety, but also just constantly, like, I can't remember if there's a term for it, but thinking, like, I'm going to die. I'm going to, this is going to be the worst gig ever. Like, I'm going to absolutely, this is a moment that I'm going to get found out. This is the moment that when people... Well, that's a bit imposter syndrome.
Yeah, yeah, but this is the moment... I'm a complete fake. Yeah, and... Everybody's going to realise today. Yeah, and there'll be someone at the gig who just goes, you know what, yeah, he was all right for a little bit, but, yeah, he's had his moment, you know. So, and I just piled on pressure.
And then that came at a time, I suppose, actually, this predates Caffe in a Sense, actually, because I started, that's where I was, like, drinking, like, a lot. I was, like, in a situation... I just want to explain to everybody, Catherine's your wife. Yeah, so, yes, so you were drinking a lot. So I'd drink before a gig, I'd drink after a gig. I'd numb the pain of how bad it was.
That was your anaesthetic. Yeah, it was like, you know, going out. But then did that affect your performance? Always, always. And also, as you're well aware, it affected... the two or three days after of just feeling depressed down, more anxious. So that happened on a Thursday and Saturday you're up again and again.
And all you can really remember is you sort of have this awful feeling of like, oh shit, that one went so badly. Or maybe it had gone a little bit better, but you had been drunk and you go, oh, actually, maybe if I just get drunk again, that'll, you know. And it got to a point where, Catherine was like, you have no enjoyment from it.
Like we've been together for a while and I had no enjoyment from that side of stuff. How long did it feel like that period went on for? How long was it like car crash? For that, I think it was like, I think I went probably for about a year or two. It culminated in a lot of stuff where
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Chapter 4: What insights does Professor Steve Peters provide about emotional responses?
We can see it literally lighting up. Which means that if we can learn, which is what I quite challenged 30 years ago, to shift systems, we'll approach life and ourselves and other people very differently in the way we want to, rather than this emotional reaction. Because humans respond, they don't react. Right. You said earlier that you can live in your trim brain all the time. Yes.
So it is possible that you are constantly in that kind of reactive place. That must be exhausting. It is. And it's sad when you meet these people. And behind locked doors, I can get them and I see what I said before. I see the person. Right. The person comes out and now I know who you are. And then something happens and they immediately go into chimp mode again.
I think, OK, I'm just seeing a chimp again. And then they go with the chimp because it feels right and then they regret it. Then they think, what's wrong with me? And I keep saying, nothing wrong with you. I found you. But you're coated in this. I found you. Like you're in there. You're in there. People get very emotional when you say that.
Those who realise what I'm saying, yes, because they suddenly think, I do know who I am. And you do know, because if you have a friend that you're close to and you've had, like, an evening together and you start opening up, you relax and you become you. And suddenly you don't feel any venom, you don't feel any anger, you don't feel regret. You feel relaxed and peaceful.
And suddenly you're you now. So your best friends know who you are. And your best friends don't muddle you up and say, well, you're really impatient or aggressive. They don't. They say, no, that's not you. But behind locked doors, I have found the person. And then that's so rewarding if I can just get them to see it. And then you're literally like growing the person.
And then we're coming to the computer bit. Because really the rest of the brain is the computer. So when I work with children, we just do chimp and human. And the children respond better than adults. People have seen it a lot. They've seen that. You're done. Three systems. This is it. Enjoy it. Goodbye. Right. So the computer, because we haven't really talked about that yet.
So children like just working in human and chimp, and some adults do, because they keep it simple. I had an 80-year-old, and I wrote My Hidden Chimp, which is a children's book. And he wrote to me, and he said, that's better than the chimp paradox. Wait, so just explain that. So you had a children's book, but you also had one for parents come out at roughly the same time?
Yeah, that was... What was the parent's one called? It wasn't meant to be. It was added on to go with the book. Oh, okay. It was to sort of like, but then it expanded a bit.
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Chapter 5: How can we take control of our emotions according to Professor Peters?
It was a little bit rushed and it was a regret, but not fully. No regret. No regrets, not really. No regrets. It was to say, I need to go back and do that again, but I haven't time. So what I said was, we'll send it out. So that's called the silent guides. So the hidden chimp book doesn't touch the computer. It's implied because children work on a very basic level.
As adults, we work much more with the computer. What we do with the computer is we have beliefs, we have behaviours, we have automatic behaviours and beliefs. So it runs our life when the other two go silent. So when you meet somebody and introduce someone new, we have automatic things like... Hello, how are you? And there's a response that we're programmed to say I'm fine or whatever.
And then how are you? That's all. We don't think about it. It's just programmed. When we go to work driving or getting the tube or whatever we're doing, we don't think about it. We just know what to do. So the computer keeps running. It doesn't analyze or think. It's just automatic. Instinct. Yeah, you've programmed it. But we program it to learn behaviors as well.
We program it to use avoidance a lot. We program it. Yeah. And it knows what it's doing. You know, we program it to overeat. We program it with excuses. So it comes to the rescue of the chimp. If we try and manage the chimp, in comes the computer. and these are what I call the gremlins, beliefs and behaviours really don't help you. Right. But sometimes you don't even know they're there.
So, for example, again, extreme, just to drive a point home, some people have this belief that they're not as good as other people. Or the world... They don't belong in this world. They're onlookers. They're common. It's a defence mechanism of the chimps saying, I won't go out into the world because it's dangerous.
And then the gremlin comes in, which is the false belief saying, yeah, you're not as good as the people. So when I say to someone, right, let's go whatever, they'll go, oh, I can't... Immediately the gremlin's going, you're not as good as the people and you'll probably get things wrong and don't do any risks. You'll look silly. So... I need to find that gremlin and remove it. Right.
So that's not actually the chimp at all. It's a belief you're holding. So when I look at people, we often have, I would say there are six major beliefs people hold that are destructive. So on average, I'll turf six out. I work with someone I can't go public about, somebody well-known, and I had 22 gremlins. And we got a big piece of paper with all these false beliefs.
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Chapter 6: What is imposter syndrome and how does it manifest?
And then we found they danced together. Oh, wow. And what he said is, oh, one will say you're not as good as others. So we then bring what I call a constructive belief. What do you really believe? And it's nobody's world. It's our world. And I'm as good as anyone else. I may not be as good in whatever talent I've got, but I'm a nice person and I value my person. So that's your belief.
I'm as good as everyone. And then there's another gremlin will come in and go, yeah, but that's not what other people think. So it reinstates the first gremlin. So you've got to kill them both off. And we're literally getting rid of them. So often I say one belief is followed by about four or five. They have little gangs. So I do an exercise. So let's just pick up all the beliefs.
And then you find there's about five or six. And we need to get rid of all of them. And otherwise they come back. So can a life experience, like a divorce, create a load of new beliefs about yourself? Must. And then you've got to go and, like, work on those. Because when you get older, you're picking up more and more beliefs, right? Oh, thousands. So...
What I say is it's almost like I ask people who work with me to do a five-minute clearance at the end of the day and just go over the day and think, let's just have a look what happened. Let's get the right beliefs and interpretations. Otherwise, you're seeding again more beliefs that go into the computer, which are now hidden and keep nudging the chimp throughout the day.
And you don't know why you're feeling easy. You don't know why you're unhappy. And you think, well, that's because there are all these unconscious beliefs. So I ask people to clean the computer up.
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Chapter 7: How does alcohol impact performance and mental health?
So there's techniques of how to do it. And go over your day and say... Is journaling good? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I'm working with someone at the moment who said this is really helping me. Again, it was someone that I'd been working with for a while and they weren't as progressing as I'd wanted. And I suggested this. And I've used it with a lot of people.
And this person said this definitely has made a difference because what I'm doing is, scientifically it's accurate, you're putting outside your head all the problems. So therefore your human can now see them. If you keep them in your head, one of the rules of the brain is that the chimp keeps going over and around in a circle. It never solves any of them because it's not a solver.
The human has to solve. But unless you talk, if you talk, this is why therapies work, the human, the brain, picks this up immediately and starts bringing in perspective, reality, challenges, beliefs. And often we talk and go, that's ridiculous. You know, what I've just said isn't right, you know. So talking is great. But if you can't, write it down.
And sometimes you write and you think, that's crazy. It is interesting how writing does give you a completely different perspective on something, I think. So I like that idea of daily assessing. So they don't run away. Lean it up and say, right, why is that helpful? Is this really going to help me, this belief?
And again, sometimes I believe me need to be put on the table and challenged because we can learn from it. So if someone says, well, you know, you were very rude at that point and you think, oh, and you get home and you think, oh, stop chewing me up that comment because I don't think I was rude. Then you can reflect and say, right, don't be defensive. Why would they say that?
Especially for someone who likes you. It means I need to rethink this and this is a way I could have done it differently. And why would I have said that? What belief am I holding about that person or that situation? And this is where sometimes it helps to write it out because it dawns on you. Or someone can talk to you and say, let's throw some ideas of what belief are you holding at that point?
And then, you know, a therapist, a psychologist or somebody like a doctor in my shoes would work through it with you. And then you've got to say, no, that's not right, Steve. And then you say, but I'll tell you what has made me think. That's how it works. You're a team. It's not me saying, right, that's wrong. I don't do that. It's you that says that's resonated and that hasn't resonated.
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