What Happens When You Lose Your Sense of Self?: Begin Again Moments
episodePreviously titled “What Happens When You Lose Your Sense?: Begin Again Moments” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 4, 2026
Transcript
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
I could never do stand-up. Yeah, it's... I really, I just couldn't do it. But I regret, I stopped for six years and it was like, when we talk about, like now, it's a really interesting thing when I look and we, this open conversation, especially in the male space about mental health and where we sit and how we look into, you know, you talk about the dyslexia or something that, like, if I'm honest with you, yeah, And this doesn't mean I never like got diagnosed as a kid because once I left school and I worked as a labor, I was like, I'm never going to need to write again. It's just like, you know, and I did really, I'd write poetry. I'd write like skits or I'd write things. But even now, like, you know, if I'm on stage, a lot of my act is comes from in the moment.
What led Tom Davis to step away from stand-up comedy?
And that's where I like strip. I was stripped to that for like six years where like the anxiety and the, the, The mental anguish of, at first I was fearless, right? So when I first started stand up, I was like, this is just, this should be another thing I might fail at. And I was very, I worked hard at it, I grafted, I was very much like, this is something that I love doing. And all of a sudden, from having what felt like a very limited life, felt like all of a sudden I was doing something actually which is quite creative and this feels more like... This is you. And a lot of people were still being like, what are you going to do? You're not going to make a living out of it. And I never needed that. But you know what?
for like 10 minutes on stage, I'm able to do something that I enjoy for me. And then you get a little bit of success and you start. And then I had like external people around me. What was, what now feels like, there was like an ilk then of like, this is what a comedian almost looked like. And I wasn't that thing. And I was like getting sort of, and I was kind of like, you know, Lee Francis is one of our really close friends. He's like, Lee had seen me and stuff through James the Fond, who was like a childhood friend. and Lee had seen me and stuff and Lee saw something and as James, obviously, you know, I wouldn't be here without James de Fronde and it's probably the only few people that I get very choked up when I talk about, but I wouldn't have a career.
And he saw that and way before I ever did. I'll get more emotional talking about James than anything else actually no but it's like as a male friendship goes and he always had that belief and it was unwavered and we've been through a hell of a lot together as friends and as colleagues but That side of him was like... He came to every gig for years. I mean, oh, my God. It was amazing. Incredible to have someone like that. Support. Yeah, that's what you need from a friend. But I think then other external voices came in and you're sort of like... So tell me what the voice sounded like to you. Every gig was like, I'll prep, I'll prep, I'll prep. So when I first started, I didn't know what a stand-up... My only... I wasn't like...
You didn't have a formula. No, and I hadn't trained to... And I hadn't also... I wasn't like someone who... You know, Eddie Murphy wore or Bernie... Like, I loved a lot of Def Jam and that sort of stuff. But I wasn't going to, like... It wasn't... Comedy felt at times quite middle class. It was weird to see Mickey Flanagan. I went to see him at the Backyard Club. He is so funny. He's so brilliant. And Mickey was the guy that I saw doing stand-up and I thought, oh, actually, wow, this is like...
How did anxiety affect Tom's self-belief and career?
Not like, because it sounds disrespectful to say, but I sort of thought, fuck, he's talking about stuff that I talk about down the pub and we laugh about on the building site. Yes. I know exactly what you mean. So once we got into it, so once I started, you know, I'd write stuff and I'd learn stuff and whatever, but I'd enjoy it. And then all of a sudden it became more serious than that. And it became People were like and you need to write your material and yeah, I don't know how like but when you're then trying out for to do spots on television They want to read your act and I've never written it down because you know, right?
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–0:44
2
What led Tom Davis to step away from stand-up comedy?
0:44–3:27
3
How did anxiety affect Tom's self-belief and career?
3:27–10:44
4
What insights does Professor Steve Peters provide about emotional responses?
10:44–13:22
5
How can we take control of our emotions according to Professor Peters?
13:22–16:00
6
What is imposter syndrome and how does it manifest?
16:00–17:32
7
How does alcohol impact performance and mental health?
17:32–19:55
More from Begin Again with Davina McCall
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Jake Humphrey on Grief, The Trauma Of Childhood Bullying & His Mission To Save Young Men
Begin Again Moments: Growing Up With A Narcissistic Parent
Liz Houghton: Losing My 20-Year-Old Son & How To Keep Living When Your World Ends
Begin Again Moments: Hitting Rock Bottom And What Comes Next
Caitlin Moran: “I Thought My Brain Had Broken” Becoming Hopeful After A Life Of Anxiety