Part One: Thomas Thistlewood: Slave Plantation Owner and Diarist
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Who was Thomas Thistlewood and why is he significant?
Ah, and welcome back to Behind the Bastards, the podcast that you're listening to today, and maybe other days, probably other days. I'm Robert Evans, here to tell you about some of the worst people in all of history. And to talk with us about some of the worst people in all of history is someone who's not one of the worst people in all of history, but is in fact my friend, T.T. Lee. Welcome to the show. How are you doing? I'm good. I mean, I still have time to become one of the worst people in history, so don't count me out. If you really wanted to, yeah. Don't count me out. I believe you could be a contender. No, no. It's like that movie where fucking Marky Mark becomes a pro football player by trying out.
I think you could become a dictator if you show up.
If there was a competition show. Yeah, yeah.
I need rules. If there's like a rubric, I mean, actually there probably is. I don't know if I would do well, actually, in that competition, but... See, this is why none of these network state Silicon Valley dictatorship people have any sense of, like, fun. Because if you had, like, a reality show where whoever won got to govern, like, three million people's lives as, like, an iron-fisted dictator. Like, the franchising potential for that show is incredible. Especially if any of them become nuclear armed. I mean, my God. You could keep people glued to the TV. Like, that's the new reality show. Yeah. A competition for who gets the nuclear codes. I mean, we might actually end up in a better situation than we are now.
Just give it to someone else. Titi, I have an important question. Yeah.
How's Wushu?
Oh my god, Wushu.
He's right behind me. Wait, is there a video on this?
Are you guys streaming? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There he is.
He's...
He doesn't like when he's not the center of attention. I don't know if anyone... I feel like old days when we used to go into that big building in Hollywood to record. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
She would run around and make a lot of noise. And then I had to stop bringing him because... I discovered he doesn't like when he's not the center of attention.
Yeah, that's fair. Back in the day, Anderson and Wushu used to hang, and that was nice. That was really nice. He's an old doggie now. He's about to be nine. Yeah, Anderson will be... I'll have had Anderson 10 years next year, which is horrific. And awesome, but horrific. I would like her to age less.
Yeah, wouldn't we all like to age less?
Yeah, fair enough.
Would you, if giving the blood of a young dog to Anderson would make Anderson younger, would you do the Peter Thiel thing with Anderson?
I would commit so many horrific crimes to extend the lives of Anderson. If I could extend Anderson's life longer, the amount of crimes I would commit to do this... I probably shouldn't say on mic, but my goodness, I would commit that.
Biohacker?
Who's the guy who is always Botoxing his penis?
Brian Johnson. Oh, are you talking about the guy who wants to live forever?
Oh, that vampire-looking dude?
They're all Botoxing. Oh, yeah. There's one guy on Twitter.
Brian Johnson.
What role did Thistlewood's upbringing play in his future actions?
Probably him, yeah. I feel like, I wonder when the next dog... When the dog version of that? The dog version of that, yeah. Yeah, because it does tend to, like, after five or ten years, it trickles down. Like, people are now doing, like, cosmetic surgeries for their dogs and stuff. It just takes a little while longer for people to be like, well, maybe my dog also needs to be ashamed that their eyelids are drooping or something like that, even though they're a basset hound and that's how they're supposed to look. I mean, they have BBL surgeries for the labubus now. That's like a whole thing on TikTok. Yeah, they like wear little doctor clothes and have little gloves and lights.
Oh my God. You gotta look it up. They're great.
The videos are great.
I definitely will.
Oh, fuck. Well, I love the modern world, but you know what the modern world has built on, Titi? Slavery, obviously, right? We're all aware of that, both in the past and today.
What a horrific transition, Robert.
Great way to start my weekend.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Who was Thomas Thistlewood and why is he significant?
0:05–3:06
2
What role did Thistlewood's upbringing play in his future actions?
3:06–7:34
3
How did Thistlewood's early experiences shape his views on slavery?
7:34–17:25
4
What does Thistlewood's diary reveal about plantation life?
17:25–21:37
5
How did Thistlewood justify his actions in his diary?
21:37–26:45
6
What were the social dynamics of Jamaica during Thistlewood's time?
26:45–31:35
7
How did Thistlewood's relationships with enslaved individuals evolve?
31:35–40:33
8
What legacy did Thomas Thistlewood leave behind?
40:33–1:25:59