171: How to Deal With Jealous People
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Why should I stop trying to convince people who already dislike me?
welcome back to my podcast guys and girls today is going to be a softly spoken podcast because i'm at home and it is evening and if you hear wailing like an orphan child in victorian england is dying in the corner alas it is not the case it is my daughter who is two that is aware i am home and the rest of the family is just simply not good enough to spend time with you hear that wail Mmm. Yeah, that lands different. Trust me. They are very nice people. They are also her family and they are just spending time with her. So we move. This is the time we've got to record today. And after this, the reason I'm in this location is I am jumping on a podcast after this with someone very, very exciting. Not for my podcast, but for someone else's.
And I'm sure you know her and I'll be posting it very soon. As soon as she puts me on her beautiful platform. Anywho, anyway, anyway. Today we're going to be touching on a subject that has come in my life at different stages, at different phases, and at different times, but it has materialized in different ways, okay? It is what to do... with people who don't like you are jealous of you make your life hard or they resent you and you've got to kind of be in the proximity of them that is a hard cookie to cut okay because we've talked a lot about men and how to make them obsessed and how to de-center them and how to this one that one and the other one but life is not all about men I know, it's shocking.
It's not all about men. It's also about other peripheries of said situation. There is friendship groups. There is family. There is in-laws. There is sisters, cousins, brothers. There is your own mother and father. And there are times when you're going to have haters. And they're going to hate you. And even people online, and they're going to hate you. And it's like, what do you do with that energy? People write mean comments. People at work say that you're not good at your projects. People at your school, I don't know what parents do, PTA meetings say that you did this, that, or the other. It could be messy and nasty, but not here, not today, no ma'am, no sir. Not on the Being Her podcast. We're going to dissect it.
We're going to make a quick dissection.
How can I recognize that jealousy is about the other person, not me?
And I've got my trusty notes here on my phone. So if you see me looking down... It is not me looking at the floor for ants. It is me looking at my notes, okay? So... I used to think... Yes, and I think a lot of people think that. That if they are kind enough, successful enough, beautiful enough, tall enough, short enough, skinty enough, or whatever it is enough, they are going to get the admiration, love, and approval that they seek and that people will eventually, and this piece is very big, understand them. They think that people will understand them and break through something like a lack of understanding or a miscommunication or something that if they're just enough, And for me, it spanned not just from my adult relationships, it spanned all the way from childhood where when I piece it together now, I realized that I did miss universe and tried to do well at school.
Oh, I can be clever enough. Oh, now I can be pretty enough. Oh, now I can be popular enough. I could do anything enough just to get my dad's attention who was not in my life. Yes, that's right. I didn't think about it that way at the time, but I remember my life being Very much having these pins of situations where I would achieve a certain thing, like a grade or a task or something. Or, for example, placing second in Miss Universe. I know you're looking at me now and you're like, when, girl? There was a time. Okay, relax. Relax. Basically, I beauty maxed, as people would call it, back in the day for the times. And I was like, oh, look, dad, I beauty maxed. And he was like, not impressed. Not that he said that.
He didn't say anything, but... It didn't make him pay attention to me. And this story is not about parents and it's not about him. It's about everything. We do that in life. We think that we are going to win the love of that person who we never got it from.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why should I stop trying to convince people who already dislike me?
0:09–2:28
2
How can I recognize that jealousy is about the other person, not me?
2:28–4:40
3
What does it mean to stop shrinking yourself to make others comfortable?
4:40–8:11
4
Why is it important to remove people who constantly criticize or resent you?
8:11–10:59
5
How does success reveal who is truly supportive versus who is envious?
10:59–14:30
6
What is the opposite of jealousy and how can I use it for growth?
14:30–16:11
7
Why should I never waste energy complaining or explaining myself?
16:11–19:10
8
When should I walk away from arguments and how can I use the gray‑rock method?
19:10–22:01
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko
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180: Why Every Good Girl Needs an Ice Queen Era
179: Stop Being the Good Girl. Become BOSSY.
178: Emotional Independence Will Change Your Life
177: Stop Being Low Maintenance. It’s Making You Easy to Ignore.
176: The More Useful You Are, The Less You’re Valued