175: You’re Not Lazy. You’re Exhausted From Proving Yourself.
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Why does the episode argue that being busy isn’t a badge of honor for women?
You lazy, low functioning. A waste of space human. How dare you? How dare you not be productive and not work for society and not be a girl boss and not get the best job and not be the best mum and not do every soccer and sport and not do all of it. How dare you? You absolute disgrace. Women have been taught that a busy woman is a good woman. Like you gotta be busy, you gotta be everywhere. Busyness is in fact a virtue, as they say, but not today. Because remember, if you're sitting down, you probably should be folding laundry. And if you've finished your work, you probably should answer some emails because you have to have like a h side hustle, you know? And if you've made enough money, you should probably make a bit more because there is no such thing as enough, right?
Th you can always make more money. You could always buy a private jet. Okay? Jessica? Where's your jet? And if the children are asleep, you should probably, you know, cut up some apples and grate them and then do in the uh processor and then maybe make some like popsicles from that. A modern woman is praised for being continuously preoccupied and in tune with productivity for the world and not for the happiness of herself and having moments of magic that only the feminine knows how to create. So today we're taking the word lazy, which is what we get labeled, It's one of the first things a little girl gets labelled in order to put shame in you. Because if you're not productive and you're not doing homework and you're not doing gymnastics and you're not doing ballet and you're not doing this one, that one, that's clearly my story, isn't it?
Then you're lazy. Nobody wants to grow up being called lazy. But like the yin and yang that exists, there's a spectrum of every angle of life, right? So is the Buddha lazy when he's meditating under the tree? Or is it a perception of laziness? Because the word just a mum exists, doesn't it? Anything that is to do with timing, slow life.
How does Margarita redefine laziness and link it to efficiency?
My mum taught me about the beauty of enjoying a beautiful meal and not eating out of the frying pan, which I'm still guilty of doing, and putting down a beautiful you know, s napkin with a plate, with a setting, that is the beauty of life, right? But if you slow down you're lazy. If you slow down you're like preoccupied in the minutiae of what doesn't matter because you need to be productive. And even looking after your own children in the home is not productive. You gotta get a side job and a side hustle. Nobody wanted to grow up being called lazy because we go in the school system and if you're not productive twenty-four seven, you are lazy. So we learn to instead of really understand what laziness is and what productivity is and what being in the moment is, we learn to fill every moment of our living, waking life, every empty space with something.
And being a human animal, that is impossible to do. So what do we do? We start scrolling. Guilty of it right here, right? We start filling everything up. Everything needs to have a s an answer straight away. Everything needs to have a reason. We apologize for resting before we've even rested. Like the only way that women rest is if they develop an autoimmune or they get sick. What if rest wasn't something you had to earn from some metaphysical being, right? What if it's something your body just required and you honor it like the damn goddess that you are? What if you are not an ant and you're not just here to produce things for the hive, right? What if You are more beautiful and useful as the creative goddess that you are when you are rested.
We often replace one standard with a with another. Women used to be judged on not being excellent homemakers, right? You've got to be a homemaker, that nineteen fifties mentality of being a homemaker, being ready when the husband comes home with the food and the children just bit bip, hello father, we've missed you. But be quiet, don't be heard and all this stuff. And that was said to be feminine. That was femininity at its peak in terms of what a feminine woman is with an apron and always happy.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does the episode argue that being busy isn’t a badge of honor for women?
0:08–2:23
2
How does Margarita redefine laziness and link it to efficiency?
2:23–6:39
3
What is the difference between performative busyness and true productive ambition?
6:39–11:55
4
Why does the 9‑to‑5 work schedule clash with a woman’s 28‑day hormonal cycle?
11:55–16:03
5
How does nature’s slow rhythms illustrate why we shouldn’t rush our lives?
16:03–19:55
6
What does it mean that women carry two shifts—paid and unpaid—and how does that affect perceptions of laziness?
19:55–23:59
7
Why does the host call herself a ‘lazy cow’ and claim laziness can be a tool for optimization?
23:59–24:33
8
What final actions does the episode suggest for embracing a slower, more authentic life?
24:33–25:55
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko
181: 5 Brutal Truths About Why He Lost Interest (And What To Do About It)
180: Why Every Good Girl Needs an Ice Queen Era
179: Stop Being the Good Girl. Become BOSSY.
178: Emotional Independence Will Change Your Life
177: Stop Being Low Maintenance. It’s Making You Easy to Ignore.
176: The More Useful You Are, The Less You’re Valued