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Bertcast

# 655 - Ben Schwartz Teaches Me How to Text

18 Dec 2024

Transcription

Chapter 1: What does Ben Schwartz think about his career?

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If something's bothering you out there, instead of putting all the blame to that thing, You find out how you respond to it, how can you respond better, what you're learning about yourself. Remember my therapist always talks about these things that happen is just a different way for us to learn more about ourselves and what we are and who we are.

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Does that sound like a good thing? You seem like someone that would...

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get therapy like I like like you do you look like someone like understand like that you'd be like it took me a while to go in there for real yep it took me until I was in my 30s and then I was in there and then I've been so thankful that I'm in there I can see my spirals happening I was having one of the best days I had the same thing I know when it's happening really yeah

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Okay, so then how do you stop it? Oh, well, you know what my therapist once said is that, so our brains work in that we try to, you know, we're always thinking, trying to think of jokes or when I'm in improv, the whole idea is you have to react and not think. You have to go quickly. That's like the skill set that makes a good improviser, I think.

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and so um my therapist one said the the tools that you use to be good at improv that you're like always ready to go imagine if some bad thought came in your head or like something that made you unhappy you're still using those tools you're just using them against yourself you're fucking fast as shit be like oh god what a bad person oh my god you know what i mean yeah even if it's nothing or did i make oh i sent uh let's say i texted you and you didn't respond for like a day ago huh

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Piss Bird off? I must have pissed Bird off. Oh my God, I know when... I'm going to look through text. I know when I pissed Bird off. It was like a fucking month ago. I said something. Oh God, now I got... Should I apologize? That's going to make more... Like that's what my brain will do.

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I'm going to give you two. I'm going to give you two examples. I wish you gave me three, but I'll take two. One time I was on a houseboat in Lake Powell. Great. I was having the greatest day of my life. I mean, I just almost like the greatest day of my life. And I was... I was assessing my body, like just looking at my fucking leg and going like, I have great calves. Great. I have great calves.

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I was so happy. And then I saw a very dark mole on my calf and I went, it's cancer. Oh dude, health scares with us. You kidding me? I spiraled. Jewish health scares? Are you fucking crazy?

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I spiraled so uncontrollably that I started throwing up. From anxiety. And I got sick. I got physically ill from it. Like I, it was, and I, I've, oh, so bad. It was so bad. I get it. And I couldn't, I was like, this is now. And I can't stop thinking about it. And by the way, if you start thinking about that shit, your body will get weaker because you're getting yourself so anxious.

Chapter 2: How do Bert and Ben cope with anxiety?

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Oh, this completely misses me. Like there's something when I watch a black dude like this in this setting, this Hype Jones, blue color, lick his lips. Yeah, I go, this song wasn't written for me. This is the 90s. This whole album is great, too. All right.

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Hold on. You want to wait until they get to the chorus? When I moved to New York, Patrice O'Neill told me, don't ever trust a black man who doesn't have a mustache. And I'm looking around and I'm seeing that mustache going. I trust him. Of course. All right, listen to this chorus. Have you ever heard this?

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We're changing the world today. I have a feeling people are going to make fun of me for listening to this on your podcast.

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It's worth it. Alright, we're good.

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You get it. Where I want to be. So our hip hop styles, our music styles are different. Well, I bet we, I love hip hop and rap. The way we took in. Yeah, but. What was your group? So I was all Dirty South. Like I was like. Oh. I was all Outkast. Love Outkast. UGK. UGK, incredible. T.I. T.I. is the fucking king of the South. Fantastic.

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Did a TV show with him. He's amazing. Did you really? Yeah, he was awesome. What was the show? It was called House of Lies. He did five episodes on it. Really? And then we shot. Yeah, he was great. He's amazing.

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He's a, he was a good, when he was on set, he was a great dude to all of us. I met him in tiny at a Netflix party. Yeah. And, uh, I had a big gulp. Cause I have a, I have a drinking problem. Like I drink, I like to drink. I love drinking. Okay. I love, I love, I have to have something to take in. Do you have your own water? I feel like there should be like water, Burt bars and Burt water.

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I'm a big liquid depth guy. Like I drink, I drink probably, I drink probably six liquid depths before I go to bed. If you were to make a protein bar called Burt Bar, what would be in it? Fucking... Oh, that's a great question. It would be peanut butter and caramel. Now we're cooking. And chocolate. You tell me, you're eating peanut butter and caramel and you don't like Donnell Jones.

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The smoothness of those two flavors and the smoothness of that man's... So when I moved to New York, I had to learn how to take in hip hop differently because you guys were big headset culture. So it's more about the lyricism than it is the- Oh, the beats and your car going crazy. Yeah. So we were all about the beats and the fucking- What about Tribe? Were you big into Tribe? No. Really?

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