# 676 - My Dad Al Kreischer
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What funny story does Al Kreischer share about Easter?
as we're walking into the entry there's a big bunny rabbit it was robert the cook and i farted you remember that no and this little girl little buddy goes daddy the easter bunny farted and the easter bunny starts pointing at me he goes like this i said robert shut up
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What the fuck?
You can move it. Just move it like this. Are you serious? Well, hold on. Pass me a lighter.
I can't move.
Pete! You know Pete's leaving me. I know. I'm very upset.
Why? I can't get a hold of you. I call Pete and he calls back. I mean, he says something to me. I mean, it's like instant. Yeah. You're like a day or two later, maybe. You call me at three in the morning. I'm at the airport, Dad.
Yeah, well, I'm in Bedford. Yeah, I'm not good at replying. I've never been good. I've never been good. You should have been a lawyer. Here, light your cigar. Okay, I really feel awkward. Also, I'd leave that open to air it out. Let it go through the whole house. Okay. Oh, here, move that chair so there's a little more of a cross-section. Do you remember when you could smoke cigars in court? Yep. What year was that?
That was in the 70s.
Really?
I had an interesting story. What was it? I had a jury trial.
Yeah?
It was a slip and fall. I represented the guy who fell at Busch Gardens.
Pull this a little closer. Not too close, but that's fine. Yeah.
At Busch Gardens. I sued Busch Gardens. Yeah. And when they had pictures of where he fell. And they had like Big Bird holding the pictures in front of my jury. I'm going, Judge, that's a little bit biased there.
Wait, hold on. They brought in Big Bird, like a stuff love against to hold the picture. To hold the pictures for the jury.
Like, who wants to sue Busch Gardens? Everyone loves Big Bird, right? I said to Larry, I said, this is not going well. But we go outside after. Yeah, that's about how the verdict went, too.
You like? Very good.
Wasn't there a lawyer who had put a... Did Benny tell me this or did you tell me this? He put a toothpick in his cigar so his ash would hold on. Oh, oh.
Yeah, I heard that. I think it was Benny Lazaro. I think Benny told me. Because it's very distracting for everyone to see. It would be a long ash and he'd sit there as the guy was giving his closing arguments. The ash would be like three inches long. Everyone's going, forget what he's saying. Let's watch that stogie. That's burning. God. When was the last time you were in court? I think I brought you. For real? It's got to be 20 or 30. Well, you know, I showed up about 10 years ago. I went to court and the judge said the same thing. He says, when's the last time you were in court? I said, judge, it's been a long time. Yeah. No, it was, you know, when I first started practicing. I was there all the time because I did anything to make a dollar.
Yeah.
Then when I had choices, I stopped going. Yeah. It's a bit stressful. You hated it. No, I more than hated it. I mean, the responsibility drove me insane. Really? Especially in a domestic relation, divorce with child custody. I mean, you know what? You go there and you lose something and your client is going to be without the benefit of whatever you're seeking, whether it's a judgment for money or divorce or child support or custody. I mean, it's a lot of stress.
I can't imagine all the stuff that would... I mean, I just, as a kid, remember stuff coming across your desk that was upsetting.
Oh, yeah. A lot of, you know, practicing law, real estate's a little different, you know. But when you're general practice or do litigation of some sort, it can be very disturbing. I remember talking to a very prominent divorce attorney in Tampa, and he says he took like one week every month off. And I said, good Lord, how come? He said, it's so stressful.
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