Bertcast
Something’s Burning: A Lot of Clickbait-y Topics with Jim + Nikki Norton | S4 E22
Tue, 28 Jan 2025
Comedian Jim Norton and his wife stop by my kitchen for a sampling of skewers, some kimchi fried rice, and more s*x talk than I usually chat about. Sounding and latex are top of the list. 2Bears5K is BACK and we’re bringing a GUEST BEAR! Join Bert, Tom, and Jelly Roll for the 2nd annual 2bears5k. Get off the couch, grab your running shoes, and meet the Bears on May 4th in Tampa, FL. Register NOW at https://2bears5k.com Follow Jim Norton: https://www.instagram.com/jimnorton Follow Nikki Norton: https://www.instagram.com/msnikkinorton This episode is brought to you by Cornbread Hemp. Head to https://cornbreadhemp.com/BURNING and use code BURNING at checkout. SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a video https://bit.ly/3DC1ICg Shirts vs. Skins with Nikki Glaser, Tony Hinchcliffe and Adam Ray as Dr. Phil during THE BIG GAME WEEKEND in New Orleans February 8 https://www.ticketmaster.com/bert-kreischer-shirts-vs-skins-with-new-orleans-louisiana-02-08-2025/event/1B00615EF5BB59D3 Double Down Las Vegas March 21 and 22 https://www.axs.com/series/25430/bert-kreischer-artist For upcoming TOUR DATES: http://www.bertbertbert.com/tour Catch me on NETFLIX For all things BERTY BOY PRODUCTIONS: https://bertyboyproductions.com For MERCH: https://store.bertbertbert.com/ Skewers with Kimchi Fried Rice Shrimp Teriyaki Kabobs * 6 bacon slices cut into thirds * 1 LBS raw shrimp * 8 oz package baby bella mushrooms * 16 cubed fresh pineapple * 1 tsp garlic pepper seasoning * ½ honey teriyaki sauce * 12 slices of bacon 1. Let shrimp marinade in teriyaki sauce for 12 hours 2. Thread bacon wrapped shrimp with peppers, mushrooms, and pineapple then sprinkle with garlic seasoning 3. Grill about 8—10 minutes, flipping occasionally. Brush honey teriyaki sauce halfway through cooking. 4. Cook bacon, crumble, and sprinkle on top of shrimp Lamb Lollipops: * 1 LBS lamb chops * 1 cup brown sugar * ½ TBS ground ginger * 3 cloves garlic * ½ cup soy sauce * 1 TBS sambal chili garlic paste * 2 TBS EVOO 1. Whisk brown sugar, ginger, garlic, soy sauce, and sambal. Marinade pork chops in this for 4-6 hours. 2. Cook pork chops in oil over medium-heat. Bring extra marinade to rolling boil in sauce pan, should become thick and syrup-like. Brush this over chops after they have cooked. Miso Black Cod Skewers: * ½ cup mirin * ½ cup sake * 2/3 cup miso paste * 2/3 cup cane sugar * 2 Cod filets 1. Boil the mirin and sake for 3 minutes 2. Add in sugar, miso then cook for a few minutes making sure it does not boil. Then let cool. 3. Cube fish into small bite sized pieces then pour cooled mixture over fish. Let marinate for 6 hours. 4. Broil the fish for around 7 minutes. Suya Beef Stickers: * 2 rib eye steaks * ¼ cup roasted peanuts * 1 TBS garlic powder * 1 TBS onion powder * 1 ½ tsp smoked paprika * 1 TBS white pepper * 1 TBS cayenne pepper * 1 TBS hot ground pepper * 1 TBS chicken bouillon * 2 TBS vegetable oil * Salt to taste 1. Preheat oven to 450 and lightly spray cooking sheet with oil. 2. Peel roasted peanut and grind them, careful not to turn them into a paste. 3. Mix garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, white pepper, cayenne, hot ground pepper, bullion, and ground peanuts. 4. Add 2 TBS oil onto sliced beef and half of the spice mixture. Let sit for an hour. 5. Rub the steak into the remaining spice mixture, add to skewers, drizzle with oil, then grill for about 3-5 minutes each side until cooked. Kimchi-Fried Rice * 2 cups cooked rice * ¼ cup water * 1 cup chopped kimchi * ¼ cup kimchi juice * 2-3 TBS gochujang * 3 tsp toasted sesame oil * 1 tsp vegetable oil * 1 TBS roasted sesame seeds * Furikake 1. Heat oil in pan and stir fry kimchi 2. Add pre-cooked rice, kimchi juice, water, and gochujang to pan and stir well. 3. Remove from heat and add sesame oil, sprinkle with sesame seeds and furikake Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What can we expect from the 2 Bears 5K?
Last year, so many of you joined us for the 5K, and it was the most amazing experience in person and virtually. It was so much fun that we are bringing it back. This time, it's in Tampa.
May 4th, we are bringing the whole crew back, including Jelly Roll. Me, Tom, Jelly Roll, listen. If you don't think you can do it, Tommy, tell them they can do it. You can do it. We can do it. We did it.
Look at us. It's not that crazy. You can do it. You just have to try a little bit. Go to 2bears5k.com to register. And thank you to Spartan for helping us produce and put this on. And everybody at YMH and Birdie Boy. We are so excited. We will see you May 4th in Tampa for the next 2 Bears 5K.
And I can't wait for Baker Mayfield to verbally commit. He's coming? He's definitely coming. Great ass on that guy.
So far, only two Chatterbait ones. Yep, just two.
Chatterbait's clickbait, baby. I'm telling you. I know.
You believe me? I accidentally clicked on it and stayed for five years. Here we go.
Dude, have you been to those states where they go, you have to show your ID to get onto Pornhub? Yes, Texas.
Texas, right?
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Chapter 2: What is sounding and why is it discussed?
And since we're cooking, you know, in gastronomy, you've got to have drinks with the meal. Yes. And, you know, I think drinking is very important. In Europe, they drink to every meal. The queen had one cocktail every day because she died.
So every Wednesday.
To every meal she had.
A gin and tonic.
Oh, is that what she had? Yeah.
And I, by the way. I tether to that so much. Like Winston Churchill every morning woke up with a soft scotch. Scotch and soda, eggs, coffee, orange juice, jam and toast, paper, in bed, cigar, every morning. Then got in the bath with a pint of champagne. A pint of champagne. And then he'd chill, walk around the garden, go to lunch, have another pint of champagne.
At four, he'd have a cognac, take a nap at five, and then he'd drink hard at night. And I was like, that's the fucking guy.
But we only see the moments of him that they show. Back then, they didn't have, like, you don't see two o'clock in the afternoon, Churchill on the toilet, shitting blood, yelling, did Hitler call? You only see the moments that they showed you. You don't see, like, the bad health, the vomiting, the fights with his wife, or any of the stuff that probably happened to him. I'm very pro-pro-alcohol.
Very pro-alcohol.
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Chapter 3: How do you cook a perfect steak?
Chapter 4: What are the health benefits of kimchi?
It's just, this is what I deal with. I have to hear about how good Norwegian chocolate is.
You give me a chopping board, cutting board? How Hershey's is like somebody... Wait, oh, because your chocolate is probably fucking high end over there.
It's much better. What are you cutting?
Uh, kimchi. Have you ever had kimchi fried rice?
What is kimchi? No.
I've heard of it, but I don't think I've ever heard of it. Kimchi is a... Is this good? Yes. Kimchi is a... It's cabbage. Cabbage, garlic, onion, I think, that's buried in a pot. Fermented. Fermented, but they bury it in a pot in Korea. And they cover it with this, like, paste, and then they bury it in a pot, tighten it up, and then it ferments, and it's so good for your fucking pot.
Is it rotting like that fucking lutefisk fish?
Yeah, kind of, yeah.
I've actually had kimchi once. One time I met, can I say this? Yeah, of course. I met a North Korean diplomat. No fucking way. And his wife came over and they served kimchi.
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Chapter 5: How does alcohol influence relationships?
And then we're going to put these in here. And hopefully everything will come out roughly around the same time.
I love lamb.
I love lamb, too.
It's my favorite meat. I love it. I love lamb. I can always have lamb. And how long...
How do you know how long everything takes to cook?
You know, that's the hardest part about all this is it's all feel. It's like just kind of watching it, and then with meat, it's touching it. And the whole thing is like a fist versus like this is what medium rare is, and this is what well done is. And it's just doing it enough.
How do you prefer your meat?
Medium rare. What about you guys?
Medium well, yeah.
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Chapter 6: What are the different views on sobriety?
Oh, thank you. I told you that when I saw you at Joe's Club. I was like, dude, you are going in the right direction.
Thank you, man. This smells really like... This legitimately smells good.
All right. And then steak. And we should be.
And do you do a thing where you'll start eating one thing and then just kind of let the other stuff heat because you've already started the process? Or do you wait until it's all done?
I wait until it's all done. And then I. These fucking skewers are the shit.
Yeah.
I mean, I think more things should be on skewers. It's so good. So what I'll do right now is start plating.
Don't they get hot, though, like where you can't touch them? Was that an idiot question? Is that what a fucking blithering idiot says at a table? Is there anything you wanted that, I don't know, I'm asking this loudly. Is there anything that you wanted to do that you're like, nobody will go for this?
No, I think, I don't know. That's hard for me to answer. What's something you would jerk off to that you would be embarrassed about? I'll tell you one perfect one. I had a dream about Leanne as a dominatrix. And she was in latex. And I woke up and I went on Amazon and I bought the outfit. I bought the outfit and then when the outfit showed up and I saw it, I was embarrassed.
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Chapter 7: How do you embrace your personal quirks?
Oh, yeah, that's not a wife duty.
My mom comes in, and I go, Mom? She goes, what's up? I said, Mom, I shit all over the walls in the bathroom. I need you to clean it. And my mom goes, honey, I got it. And my mom walked into the bathroom, came back, and goes, I don't see it. I said, what? She goes, I don't see it. It's not in there. And I was like... Like immaculate diarrhea. Like I show on the walls and it just disappeared.
I don't know what happened to it. Did Leanne clean it? I don't know. Was it in the ceiling? No, no. It might have been on the ceiling.
It was on the ceiling. And everyone's like, I don't see it. I don't see it. It's just sitting there like fucking alien in the movie.
Yeah, no. I never know. And then Leanne got sick. My daughters got sick. Everyone got sick that Aspen.
Did you ever go to Aspen? I did, and I went to Vail before Aspen was a festival. For real? The Vail Comedy Festival, yeah. Voss in Aspen, I love this.
Voss had to follow Carlin, and he was so nervous that he couldn't breathe. They had to give him oxygen, which makes me so happy that there's this big shot to follow Carlin, and he's just too frightened to do it. So he had to sit there and breathe in an oxygen mask.
I get it.
I get it.
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