Is it normal that I can't remember what it is like to be happy?
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Why do I feel emotionally numb and can’t recall happy memories?
He gazed. Hope you are having a wonderful evening. Today I'm going to be answering this question. Oh like someone asked, like why I cannot recall being happy. So these are very, very common scenario for people who are uh emotionally numb. Like they can't seem to remember those happy moments in life. Like they can't they can't remember their teens, they can't remember their alias Or their childhood. And they are so bothered about it. Especially when other people talk about how their parents used to take care of them, how d how how how how their childhood was, like how it was amazing, how it was awesome, how they used to play games with their other kids, like how they used to pursue these sports. Like when someone else talks about it, you really feel bad for yourself.
Because for you you're not able to recall any. any happy moments. So I'm going to approach this in a very, very different perspective. I would just want you to understand that. Life is not really about first recalling the happy moment. I feel it What's happening to you now? Let's just faster there. Because we end up so getting so lost in trying to recall happy moments instead of realizing that hey. Why am I not happy? No. Actually that's a very, very, very good place to start. Especially when you're feeling this way. Because the moment you just
How does focusing on the present moment help break the habit of chasing past happiness?
Dwell in that past, wanting to understand the past, wanting to understand why you are not happy, wanting to learn what happened in the past. We'll get stuck in the past. And that actually that's where most people get stuck. Especially people who suffer from anhedonia or who are emotionally numb. They get stuck in trying to kind of find solutions so that they can remember. So you end up finding solutions so that you can recover your memories. Which is actually a very, very dangerous precedence because it is just a memory. And those memories you're actually reconstructing them now. Like you are In this present moment. The reconstruction of those memories Is happening now. It's not like it's been put in a in a in a special place lama.
No. You are interpreting them now. So who you are now? If in this present moment you're not able to Eh process emotions or you're not able to feel pleasant emotions or are pleas unpleasant emotions because you're numb. It simply means that that is where you need to start your Janny O'Heeling. Not recalling happy memories. So Your present you the way you perceive the world now or the way your nervous system is has been wired because of past experiences. is it has gone to the point where it doesn't it's like blocking or shutting down. Anything related to happiness. Or anything any any past scenario which is which has a uh a lot of uh emotion to it, because it's doing that way to keep you? Safe or it's been doing that way to keep you safe for a very, very long time to the point where your mind and your nervous system
Just knows that anything related to emotions.
What’s wrong with trying to reconstruct happy memories instead of investigating current feelings?
To this person is a dangerous thing. So let me just Block it off. Gorami just shut down. Like it cannot. Construct. So it is not about changing the past or even asking your family or your friends about your happy. Moments in the past. No. It can bring some sort of relief or some sort of uh Like um I th there's just it can bring some sort of relief knowing about your past and your happy moments, but it will not change who you are now. In fact what will change who you are now is Understanding that the problem is not actually in the past, of course in quotes. The problem is happening now and the problem is like How is it that your nervous system is still holding on to past experiences to keep you safe? Yet those past experiences have long gone.
That's where healing is. So healing is never been the past. Yes. During the course of that healing it may The past may appear, the past may appear, but it's happening now. So It cannot even be explained logically. Like I need to recall, I need to s write down about I need to write down about uh the happy memories in my child so that I can heal. Or I need to go to my inner child. No, it's not that way.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
Why do I feel emotionally numb and can’t recall happy memories?
0:00–1:26
2
How does focusing on the present moment help break the habit of chasing past happiness?
1:26–3:14
3
What’s wrong with trying to reconstruct happy memories instead of investigating current feelings?
3:14–4:40
4
Why does my nervous system block happiness and how can I identify that blockage?
4:40–6:07
5
How can therapy or investigation uncover the root cause of emotional numbness?
6:07–7:44
6
What does it mean to ‘unlearn’ the learned avoidance of joy?
7:44–8:34
7
How does feeling discomfort in the present lead to lasting transformation?
8:34–8:44