11. One-Hundred Pound Baby
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What are the content warnings for this podcast?
Blink is intended for mature audiences as it discusses topics that can be upsetting, such as drug use, sexual assault, and emotional and physical violence. Content warnings for each episode are included in the show notes. Resources for drug addiction and domestic abuse can be found in the show notes The testimonies and opinions expressed by guests of the show are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of myself or affiliates of this podcast. Jake was finally starting to see things more clearly about his relationship, about the people in his life, and maybe even about himself. Some truths had slipped past him, or maybe he just wasn't ready to face them before.
To be continued...
How did Jake's relationship with his caregiver evolve?
So what happened in between? How did Jake go from being completely dependent on others to living on his own and fighting for his independence?
Jake was desperate not to go back to Tewksbury and us basically having to convince the medical community that he'd be OK.
What challenges did Jake face in finding independence?
I wanted to get out of there. I had this complex surgery, which brought me into Mass General. Mass General wanted to send me back to Tewksbury. I was like, no, absolutely not. Hell no. The only way they would let me leave to go back to the community is if I was able to find my own aides, because I needed 24-hour care. So luckily, this was during COVID lockdown, so all these people that worked in hospitals So to be clear, not everyone was a trained medical professional. I asked Jake how many aides he had and did it take a few people before he finally found his core group? I only had four. Those four were my people. I know a lot of people get ones that they only have for like four days and have to find a new one. I had four, two in the day, two for overnights. So yeah, my doctor, good old Dr. Levinson was like, I will only sign off on this if you have money for the apartment, money in the account. And the state will only pay 58 hours a week. And forgive me on the math, but 7 times 24 is a lot.
So I had to find an hourly rate for 100 and change hours. I reached out to Eli. Eli was like, this is obviously a large amount of money. He's like, how long do you think this will take you? And I'm like, honestly, I don't know. I'm like, but I'm going to get better. Give me like four or five months and I won't need 24 hour care. And he's like, you know, what if, what if it takes longer? And I'm like, put me back in a nursing home. I'm going to get better. So we reached out to about 12 other people. They all made certain dollar amount commitments and it was a little scrappy, but we got the money in the county.
How did Jake and Derone begin to rebuild their relationship?
We found an apartment in Cambridge. It's amazing how many places claim that they are ADA capable, they can handle disabled people. This place was totally no, except that he was still completely bedridden. So it didn't matter. It wasn't like he could go to the bathroom anyway, you know, get in a wheelchair and wheel over. It couldn't do any of that stuff.
Imagine you have a newborn baby. Everything you have to do for them. Getting me up. Getting me dressed. Putting on my socks. Brushing my teeth. Feeding me. Transferring me onto the toilet. Even wiping my ass. Showering me. Picking me up off the ground when I made a boo-boo, which only happened once or twice. As well as, like, grocery shopping. taking me to medical appointments, doing my physical and occupational and speech therapy homework, scheduling. If I had to write something down, they'd write something down for me. Recording videos that you may have seen on my social media. Everything. I was bedridden, and I was out of the hospital. I could finally get this next level of care. And guess what? I came off 24-hour care.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What are the content warnings for this podcast?
0:20–2:26
2
How did Jake's relationship with his caregiver evolve?
2:26–2:43
3
What challenges did Jake face in finding independence?
2:43–4:48
4
How did Jake and Derone begin to rebuild their relationship?
4:48–6:02
5
What were the key moments of tension between Jake's caregivers?
6:02–7:33
6
What impact did Ellen have on Jake's recovery?
7:33–8:54
7
How did Jake feel about the welcome home party?
8:54–11:59
8
What were the conflicts regarding the house between Derone and Ellen?
11:59–36:02