Chapter 1: What is the background on Luka Doncic's recent performance?
You introduced us to a little call and answer with a guitar and some bagpipers. You introduced us to Fat Drunk Luca. You were the guy who said, this is Fat Drunk Luca Doncic, and he's the one who did not get the contract from the Mavericks, and he got traded and lost all this money because he was fat and drunk. Well, may I introduce you to Custody Battle Luca. Okay.
Who is taking the internet by storm and the NBA by storm. All right.
Chapter 2: What led to the emergence of 'Custody Battle Luka'?
So I don't think that people are talking about this on the broadcast per se, but it's definitely all over social media. Okay. So unfortunately for Luca, he is embroiled in a custody battle with a longtime partner and fiancée, Ana Maria Goltes. He hasn't seen his daughters in over three months. But ever since this started, Custody Battle Luca has numbers like you would not believe.
So he is taking his anger out on the NBA. He scored 60 last night. Yes. And Custody Battle Luca, over these six games that this has been going on, 6-0, 37 points per game, 9 rebounds, 8 assists.
Okay, so where does the fiancé live with the kids?
In Dallas? In this Yahoo Sports article, it does not say where the, let's say, last time Donchik saw his children was in December when he traveled to Slovenia. So I guess she's got him in Slovenia. Yeah. Hmm. So he is pissed. Get my kids back to America. I don't need them over there in Slovenia. And while you've got them over there in Slovenia, I'm going to make the NBA pay.
So they are dealing with this custody battle in Slovenia, or is it here in the States? I believe it's Slovenian courts. So it's in the Slovenian courts.
It's in the Slovenian courts. Yep. That may be better for him. I'm not sure. You know, Slovenian custody battle is not one of those things that I studied up on at Hofstra University.
Yeah, but I'm telling you, Fat Luka's turned into, like, you know, Stud Luka because of what happened to him down in Dallas. It was the worst thing maybe that happened to Dallas, of course, and the Dallas Maverick fans, and they're looking at his performance now, and everybody's screaming MVP, MVP.
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Chapter 3: How has Luka's custody battle affected his basketball performance?
But the reason that the Dallas Mavericks ended up trading him is because he was not as committed as he is now, as we've spoken about his off-season regiment and how he got himself in shape, and because the Dallas Mavericks would have had to have paid him a supermax of $345 million. That's all I was ever talking about. I never said he wasn't a great basketball player.
Old news, custody battle, Luca. New news. Old report, new report. Okay. And the new report is that he is terrorizing the NBA because he wants... This woman, who he's known for a very, very long time, his fiancée who took the kids, Ana Maria Goltes, to pay. Every single defender has got Ana Maria's face on their head.
Yeah, well, so the Lakers are back in the mix again. And maybe LeBron's feeding off of that.
Chapter 4: What are the details of Luka Doncic's custody situation?
I would. I mean, I would ride custody battle Luka all the way to maybe a Western Conference final series. Why not? So according to ESPN's Dave McManaman, Goltis filed a child support petition in California, which caught Donchik off guard. He filed an interim injunction with the Slovenian courts.
So he wants it in Slovenia and out of the United States.
On February 26th, seeking immediate contact with both daughters.
She's not stupid or whoever she's... who's ever represented her, knows that, you know, we do this in California, you're going to get a lot of money.
Sure.
And you're going to be able to get, you know, and so he also conversely knows if we do this in Slovenia, it's not going to be nearly as bad financially.
I mean, and Luka in Slovenia is king status. You know, in California, yes, he's a Laker, he's popular, but... You know, there's a lot of famous people in L.A. Yeah. Slovenia, not so much.
Exactly. So he wants to go back there and he feels like he'll get a little bit of sympathy thrown his way.
Probably.
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Chapter 5: How is Luka's performance compared to his past self?
Yeah.
How old are the girls?
I don't know. I hate it.
But I mean, if she's living in Slovenia with the kids, I mean, there's no way that he's going to be able to see the kids.
No.
No.
Well, not right now, at least. I mean, obviously, in the offseason, he could be over there and check him out. But, yeah, I mean, it's a tough situation, but he's making the best of it on the court.
Oh, he's not.
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Chapter 6: Where are Luka's daughters currently living?
I mean, he's... He's going off on the court.
Yeah. And I am fully convinced that LeBron is retiring at the end of this year. And it all has to do with the golf stuff that's going on in his life. Really? He made a commercial with Nike. So there's a couple of Nike golf athletes that are still out there. Scotty Scheffler. Tom Kim is another one. Forget who the third one is. But they made a Nike golf commercial with LeBron and Tom Kim.
Where Tom Kim's like, hey, LeBron, everybody. You know, they're out on the golf course. He's like, hey, everybody giving you tips. It's all in the hips. You know, do this whole thing. You know, he's involved in the YouTube golf stuff. He plays all the time.
So you think this is it now? He's got a new passion. He's got the bug and he's done.
Yes, just kind of like you. He's got the bug. Yeah, but I'm not retiring from my job. You know what I mean? He's retiring from his job.
Well, it's a little different. I mean, you know, his job requires a lot more time than your job does.
It does. He gets paid a lot more money, too. $60 million a year. Yeah, but maybe now he can become a golf influencer. He may. He may, but I think he's done. And I know everybody says he's going to want the farewell tour, but... He's gotten a farewell tour his entire career. Everywhere he goes, people are kissing his ass. Does he really need more ass kissing? Howie Rose is getting a farewell tour.
He is, but Howie Rose deserves it. You know, LeBron James got, well, you know.
Why wouldn't LeBron James deserve a farewell tour?
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