Chapter 1: Who is Paul Morrissey and what is his background?
Today's episode, we welcome my good friend Paul Morrissey to the program. Paul Morrissey is a very funny comedian. He has a new special out through Drybar on YouTube. I encourage you all to watch it. He's a great joke writer, very funny guy. He's been opening for me for a long time. We've toured all around the country together. It's a great interview.
You're going to definitely feel that Paul is part of the family. Uh, literally comes to all my events at home and on the road. And he's just a great guy. He is a great family as well. And, uh, and he's in love. That part's weird. It's weird that I'm saying it. And it's weird that if in five years you watch this and they're no longer in love, I think they might make it though.
He's I've never seen him like this. Uh, He's got a great special called No Soup for the Soul. It might be under some other headline, other title, depending what YouTube does with it. But very funny. This is a great insight into my touring life and the food, mainly the food that we have eaten out there. Fun fact about Paul, he's never eaten an egg. He's never eaten an egg.
If you're a listener of mine for a long time, you'll recognize Paul in the early version of this podcast, a whole different podcast, really, called Come to Papa. And Paul and I would hang out at times. And great guy, great interview. Enjoy Paul Morrissey. It's breaking bread.
This feels like a real TV show. Or is this your kitchen?
We're at my restaurant. Okay. Is this your first time in the booth?
I think so, yeah.
It is. Oh, interesting. For our listeners... uh paul and i have known each other for 200 years and he was part of the original version of my podcast which wasn't breaking bread it was just come to papa come to papa and um paul and i would just sit in my office
Yeah, I would come over on an afternoon where you were catching up after writing a book, and you would be like, hey, do you want to do a podcast?
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of Paul's new comedy special?
that pocket and i thought he was joking yeah and then there were like five of them in there so he yeah he took a whole bunch of alcohol from the plane into the into the big gulp he had a big gulp that's right and then he poured him into the big gulp and then he's like all right i'm ready so a long time ago so we decided just to do it on our own yeah he told us how to use the equipment and then he took off that was before his was really that big yeah it was uh that was a long time ago
But good to have you here. I know that this is all a long con. This was just a way for you to get bread because you and your girlfriend have been clamoring for bread. You could have just asked. You didn't have to go record a new stand-up special, get it released. Book yourself on this. It's the long game. I would have just given you bread.
Well, I always feel bad because I know how hard you work at it, and it's like you only make... What's the most you can make?
Two a week? Two at a time. I'm going to take your picture with the bread because this might be the most perfect bread we've had on the podcast.
Oh, wow. It's a beauty. Look at that. She's going to be excited. It's really good. We went to... Well, that was... That was a little blurry, but it was Halloween.
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Chapter 3: How did Paul and Tom's touring experiences shape their friendship?
That was, like, right after my surgery. Oh, yeah. So I just started, like, kind of walking a little bit. And then you had your Halloween party.
Paul got a new hip.
Yeah. It's new.
Not a new hip. They just went in and scraped out the extra pieces of it.
Yeah, it's metal somewhere. Like, I can't go through the TSA pre anymore.
You can't? Oh, I didn't know they added stuff to you.
I thought they just took stuff out. Yeah, there's a comedian, Chris Fairbanks, and he was kind of a really high-level skateboarder and snowboarder. And when I first found out that that was the problem, he told me that he got it done. Because usually... Like you hear about it and you're like, oh, yeah, you need to get it done when you're almost dead. And then it'll last 10 years. Right.
But now it's like people get them super early. Like I know.
Yeah.
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Chapter 4: What are some of Paul's unique culinary experiences?
There should be cartilage there. It should be a little cushiony. A little cushion. Some blood and stuff.
Yeah.
And then you wear that down after years and years of, in your case, basketball. And then, so the cartilage is gone. So now it's just, you're walking around and it's your hip bone into your bone socket and it's just causing pain.
Yeah. And then they replaced the socket and the top part.
And then it's like... So what's the metal, the socket?
I think both.
How is this not a hip replacement?
It pretty much is. I mean, they used to call it, they had like a fancy name for it. Hippoplasma.
Hippoplasma.
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Chapter 5: What challenges did Paul face with his cooking?
Like I can't do it. So I did block out like a whole month, which when we talked about, you were like, even the surgery part, he's like, so you're going to take a month off? That sounds like a dream.
Even if you had to go to the hospital. Yeah. And then you showed up at my Halloween party dressed as,
hunter s thompson yeah uh who was always on drugs and you were on drugs for sure and you had a and you had a walker with you yeah and uh everyone thought it was just part of the cost you were just keeping yourself up all high on pain meds well it's funny i because it was my very first hospital anything
So I was just terrified of spending the night and you see all those TV shows.
Yeah, when you get a fungus that they can't cure.
I was thinking more like a bad roommate who's just moaning all night or something. Yeah. The morning, I got done like, I don't know, 11. So I come out and then you're just on one of those drips and the only thing you can do is just watch TV. And so it was the Dodgers World Series game that went like,
19 innings yeah so i fell asleep for like five hours and i wake up and like the game's still going and i'm just like amazing that went on forever oh man these drugs are great and uh when you were on the drugs were you like oh i see why people get hooked on this I'm trying to think.
It does... I mean, I took, like, maybe... I mean, my girlfriend, who is an angel, she... I mean, she really, like... I mean, I'm sure the first few days, you're just, like, talking nonsense. She says I'm really funny on drugs, so... But it was... Yeah, it does. I took, like, two videos of, like, hey, maybe I should put an update or something and just stay.
And then I was kind of shy about telling people about it because it's, like... I don't know if it would be a stigma or, like...
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Chapter 6: How does Paul feel about his girlfriend's cooking skills?
It just seems like we're weird.
Well, I thought it was going to peter out and my kids aren't around. We celebrate Halloween more than they do. All the grown-ups are like, come on, are you making chili? What's going on? I think it's gotten bigger since the kids left.
I think so, too. The adults get wilder.
Yeah. And then you bring in young people. This new cruise will be there next year. Oh, nice. And then Paul comes to Thanksgiving.
yep thanksgiving i don't think you've ever been a christmas eve have you no you were on our christmas card one year yeah one year we we did a christmas card thing when we all were in our sweaters holding the animals and we just put paul in it and just in the middle sent it out and didn't explain who he was and people we just we didn't just say happy holidays from the papa's
and people were like you know no one wants to be rude and ask like did we forget do they have an older son was that from another marriage he 23 and made and found he had a kid somewhere it was really funny you should do the next one you we should do like an update where you like you come back they're like oh maybe they stopped fighting
Did you say Rob Zombie thought you adopted somebody?
Yeah, he thought we adopted a kid.
I still have that in my refrigerator. You do? Yeah, yeah. That's too funny.
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Chapter 7: What humorous anecdotes arise from Paul's food experiences?
I think the last one I called a real humdinger, and their thing was Mathematicians Belong at Hogwarts, which I don't even know. It's a pretty good title. It's like one line in the special. So whatever it does, I think it's been out a month and it's got 80,000 views.
Nice. That's a good start. Yeah, so I'm happy with it. Very good. And it looks good. So are you going to be retiring some of the material that you have out on tour? Yeah, yeah. What jokes are going to go?
Um, well, we've got like a bunch of new stuff that I've been working on. And then the special was like, there was a weird, not a weird group, but like, you know, when you get like a bunch of different people and you start like connecting the dots. What do you mean? And so it was like a weird, like there's...
people who met on, like, this Mormon dating app, and then there was, like, a kindergarten yoga teacher, and it was just a bunch of, like, interesting enough people that I kind of, like, tied them into it. So the special wasn't even, like, burning... A ton of material.
Oh, you mean crowd work?
Well, but I did have jokes about yoga and all that stuff. So like it did lead into stuff, but it was just like a weird kind of like a magical night of like, oh, people would think this was set up.
I see.
I see. I did something about a librarian, and then there was a lady who was a librarian. I was like, when did you start? And she's like, two years ago. I was like, who starts? I don't even know. There's still librarians? That seems like the easiest job ever.
So people just yell out, and then you...
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Chapter 8: What insights do they share about life on the road as comedians?
How long? I don't know. Well, two years. Well, it's funny because no, no, it was four years. No, we literally talked about it because the other thing they didn't mention is that I think Tom's only friends with me because I have the same birthday as his wife. So he'll never forget.
Well, we try. It's not that we don't forget. It's that we can't shake you. Because it's always like, oh, it's the birthday. We should call him again. But, yeah. We had a good night at Dantana's.
Yeah, so that was, I think, I went out with her the day before that.
That's a year and a half ago. Not last August. Yeah, yeah. This August? Mm-hmm. Really?
I thought it was two ago. No. No, that was like just this year. Yeah, you're working too hard, man. I am working too hard. It's the craziest tour schedule ever. I used to think that I was nuts. Like when I was, because you talked to me, I'm like going to Australia and all this kind of stuff. Yeah. And then you're the one that's been gone for like a month or something.
I have been doing a lot. Danielle, when you look at the calendar, do you think, wow, he's busy? Or do you think he's a little lazy?
Yeah.
Oh, I think you're busy.
Yeah? Yeah.
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